


Iscariot

by ErlenmeyerKat



Category: Seduce Me (Visual Novel)
Genre: A Game of Mika, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Anguish porn, As bad as you're thinking, Bad Decisions, Death, Death Drama & Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Flashbacks lots of flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Maybe worse, Multi, Winter is coming and so will they, filling the gaps, non-canon, not listing all the porn tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2018-12-06 03:33:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 205,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11592078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErlenmeyerKat/pseuds/ErlenmeyerKat
Summary: It's been six years in the human world since Mika decided that the boys should leave. She and Andrew are happy, her graduation and their marriage approaching. The boys moved on as well, making their own choices to stay or in James' case, to return home with his wife, Ezaeur, on his arm to claim his birthright.Unfortunately, one bad decision can lead to another and another, as their natures draw them further and further apart. Only to find Mika appearing in their lives once more; the spell fueled by her magic and sealing her fate with Andrew, broken.It's time for another choice but with everything that's happened, who will it be?





	1. He had it coming.

  
The Demon Lord Raestrao sat upon his throne, looking out over the nobles of his court as they drank, danced, and laughed. Like a human, he was tall, broad-shouldered, and muscular; a blend of incubus and brute demon with the best of both bloods. Amber stripes swirled and wrapped over his shoulders like a cloak. A thin gold band sat on his brow, resting above the wicked horns curving up from his temples. It proclaimed his royalty as much as his mannerisms, yet couldn’t keep the bangs of his black hair out of his eyes.

Raestrao ruled: as he’d been trained, as he was taught, as he learned. He ruled over half of the Abyssal Plains and the throne beside him sat empty.

His amber gaze slid over the nobility, taking in every detail. None approached him. His position was set in stone and no minor actions at such a celebration would sway his preferences towards any of them, one way or another. It was in their best interest to leave him be and play their own petty games. He allowed it, as long as his own initiatives were not compromised. From what he could ascertain, his courtiers were “playing nice” as the humans would call it. A lavender eye flashed in the distance, connecting with his and Raestrao straightened, his shoulders going stiff as he peered towards the back of the room. Several of the closer nobles noticed, quickly moving aside.

 **He. Wouldn’t. Dare.** Raestrao could feel the growl growing in the back of his throat and quickly restrained himself. He would not allow his appearance to slip, his discipline to falter. _Not even now._

The toss of a head and copper-red bangs slid back to reveal the flash of another gold band, the sidelong gaze meeting Raestrao’s. The sly smile froze in place as the “guest” spoke to a group of Ladies of the court before turning away. Innuendos, laughter, and not-so-subtle flirts swirled about the naked incubus as Raestrao watched him. They followed wherever that demon went.

Uzaeris had finally decided to return and pay his brother a visit.

 _No. He’s come to mock me._ Raestrao’s ire rose, but there was nothing he could do in the midst of this charade. He wouldn’t grant his brother the power to break his composure. Over the decades he had learned to wear his own mask, just as Uzaeris always had. Gripping the ornate golden armrest beside him, Raestrao forced himself to relax, to lean back in the chair once more with a semblance of calm. He would wait; he had no doubt.

The Lord of the Kingdom of Lilith would come to him.

*

Damien slid his satchel from his shoulder and sank down to sit back against a tree. He didn’t care that the grass was still damp with the morning’s dew. This corner of the park was quiet with bushes and trees scattered to give some shade and a sense of being away from the city. Instead, he leaned back and gave a sigh, happy to relax and enjoy the beauty of the sunrise. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out a pen and his small brown leather-bound journal. Just as he did everyday, he flipped it open to where he’d marked it with its gold ribbon. Lines of verse from the day before greeted him on the opposite page.

 _Yesterday was a good day. Today will be, too._ A small, white petal blew across his vision to spin and land in his lap. It was late spring and the crab apple blossoms were dropping. Damien gave it a gentle smile and picked it up, to stroke the silky softness. _Six years and the human world is still so beautiful._ He was doing things he never imagined, learning things he’d never thought he could, with the love and support of his family.

 _Still alone._ His joy turned a little bittersweet.

An elderly gentleman walked past, giving Damien a nod as his beagle chuffed and sniffed the incubus’ gym shoe. Animals could see through the glamour that made him appear human. They could see the black stripes on his skin and his curling ram's horns; but to the human, he was just a copper-headed young man in white jeans and a brown leather jacket. Just another “early bird”, having his morning coffee in the park; the poet who owned and worked at the neighborhood’s used bookstore down the street.

Damien nodded back before the two walked on, savoring the silence. He had finally learned to shield, could finally walk among the humans without being overcome. His ability to read minds still brought difficult situations when it caught him unaware, but for the most part, blocking it had become easier. It definitely made life quieter, but it was still too quiet. Blending in did not bring him the relationship he was looking for. Try as he might, he just wasn’t human. He wanted his partner to love him for who he was, an incubus from the Abyssal Plains. A human like that was rare, almost non-existent.

 _Someone like Mika,_ he sighed to himself. He was being foolish again, she could never be his. She had found her partner. Still, he let his heart long. _Just a little._

*

Matthew turned his BMW onto the driveway of the Anderson Company, heading past the front doors and into the executive parking lot. His blue Z4 slid smoothly to a halt in his personal spot, the sign designating him as CTO of the prestigious company.

Jumping out, he straightened his suit coat and tie before picking up the white bakery boxes from his passenger seat. He left one with the receptionist and she flashed him a smile, thanking him for the sweet treats before answering the phone. Humming to himself, Matthew made his way to the elevator, poking the up button with a finger before checking himself in the mirror. Looking good. The other two white boxes he left at the coffee station for the executive admins. Poking his nose in the top box, he pulled out one of the blueberry muffins he’d baked the night before and headed for his office. The very best of the treats had gone home in a care package with his girlfriend.

Matthew’s eyes gave a brief gold flash, hungry for more than the muffin as he thought of the blonde. The incubus in him wanted to call her for another date tonight. _Not yet,_ he reminded himself. _Business before pleasure._ He’d grown quite a bit since he’d last seen his brothers: as tall as Sam and almost as strong as Damien. At times, he could tap a maturity not unlike James’ if he needed to. His libido… that had also matured, giving him a healthy appetite like his brother Erik. He marveled at how his other brothers had managed to control it. _Well, Erik doesn’t,_ he smiled to himself.

Matthew entered his office, the lights coming on automatically as he dropped into his chair and leaned back to kick his feet up. “Alexa, email.” he called out before setting his breakfast on a napkin on his desk and licking his fingers clean. The monitors on the wall across from him lit up. His eyes scanned both, checking the list of messages as well as the stock ticker that was always scrolling at the bottom of the screens, showing his investments. Anderson Toys was up another twenty points already, their recent launch a success.

Smiling, he craned his neck to peer out the doorway, making sure his secretary hadn’t made it into the office yet. Satisfied that he was alone, he opened his desk drawer, reaching past pens and pencils to pull out a wireless game controller he’d tucked in the back.

“It’s only research, right?” He laughed out loud to no one in particular and called up his current video game of choice. _Humans make the most wonderful toys,_ he had to admit.

He was thankful that Mika’s grandfather Harold had summoned him and his brothers into the human world, even though Mika herself hadn't chosen any of them for a partner. _Damien had been right to want to stay_ ; Matthew loved it here in the human world, too. Grinning and shaking his shaggy black hair back from his bright blue eyes, he started playing.

 _I’m going to win today,_ he just had the feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, trying another and posting here makes me commit to finishing it.  
> Rough drafts of the chapters are on DA and will be re-posted here with much editing as I write them.  
> Working without a beta, just got new software, it's gonna go slow. Forgive me.
> 
> Title Credit  
> Iscariot - Walk the Moon  
> https://youtu.be/fPQeMqiKqKs
> 
> As always, Michaela Laws owns it all. I'm just messing it all up.


	2. Sun is shining and so are you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew surprises Mika

  
"Hey, Dr. Anderson." A playful male voice called her. Surprised, Mika looked up from the horse she was checking, one hand resting on its side to keep its attention.   
  
"Andrew." Her green eyes lit up and she flipped her long black braid over her shoulder, pleased as she stood and faced the man leaning on top of the stall's dutch door. Dressed casually in his blazer and khakis, he stood up straight as well, proud to surprise her. His hair messy from the wind, he looked adorable.  
  
“Hi, sweetheart.” He cocked his head with a smile.  
  
The horse nosed her pocket and Mika jumped, both her and Andrew laughing at her reaction. “Titus,” she sighed at the gelding and reached in to grab the small baggie of apple slices she always carried. Knowing he wouldn’t give up until he had his treat, she poured them all out on her palm to let him nose them. The horse daintily picked them up with his velvety lips, while Andrew happily drank in the sight of her. Brushing her hand off on the back of her jeans, Mika gave the horse a final pat and stepped out the stall half-door.   
  
"Or should I call you Dr. Lewis?" Andrew moved back just far enough to give her the room to close it before pulling her into his arms. His brown eyes danced as he saw her shy expression.   
  
"Not yet." She hugged him as he held her close and nuzzled her hair much as the horses tried to.  
  
"Mmmm, but soon.” He stepped back from her. “Graduation is Sunday and a week later, we'll be on our way to the exotic shores of Bora Bora as Mr. and Mrs. Ace Lewis." He tossed his sandy brown hair dramatically and flashed her his goofy grin.  
  
"Yeah." The thought thrilled her. "I can't wait."  
  
"Neither can I." He took her hand and gave her a spin, moving up behind her to give her a squeeze. “Sand, surf, you in a bikini,” he whispered in her ear.  
  
"Is that why you're here early?" She wasn't expecting him to drive down to Champaign for another two days.   
  
"I couldn't stay away. The company is doing well; Matthew can easily handle it. Not to mention there was this." Andrew pulled a white business envelope from his blazer pocket and held it in front of her. Suddenly Mika stepped out of the circle of his arms, her smile changing to a worried frown. "Let me guess, you want me to read it," he chuckled.  
  
"Would you? I'm nervous."  
  
"Practically a doctor and a little old letter makes you nervous?" He teased.   
  
"Veterinarian, and yes it does. So open it," she commanded.  
  
"Alright." He smiled indulgently. "But a kiss first. I haven't seen you in weeks."  
  
"One." She agreed with a smile, stepping in and tilting her head up to his as her eyes slid closed.   
  
_You are so beautiful._  Andrew studied her for a moment, his heart skipping a beat. A couple more weeks and life would be perfect; she would be a permanent part of him, his other half, come home. He slid his fingers into her long black hair and caressed the back of her neck, hearing her delighted hum as he brought his mouth down on hers. The kiss wasn't nearly long enough for either of them, but it held a lot of promise for the coming evening.   
  
"Read, Mr. Lewis." Mika murmured against his lips. With a pained sigh, Andrew let her go and slid a finger under the envelop flap, tearing it open. Mika moved back once more to watch him as he read, his expression serious and making hers worried.   
  
"Hmm." His response was non-committal and he slid the paper back into the envelop and back into his pocket.   
  
"Well?" She chewed her bottom lip.   
  
"Huh? Oh, you wanted me to read it out loud to you?" He feigned surprise and she gave an exasperated moan, slapping his shoulder as he laughed. "Alright! Alright!" He snatched her wrist and pulled her to him again, kissing her pretty pouting lips. "Your residency at Tempel Farms has been approved, Miss Anderson," he whispered, excited for her. “You’ll be working with the Lipizzans.”  
  
"Really?" Hope, joy, and relief flooded Mika’s features.   
  
"You've worked hard, top of your class for as long as I've known you. Why is it always so hard to believe you’ll succeed?” He cradled her face in his hands, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of her eyes.   
  
"I don't know. It's just, surreal, the way everything keeps falling into place. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and realize this is all a dream."  
  
"If it is a dream, then let's never wake up." He leaned down to kiss her again.   
  
"I'm sorry,” she apologized when their kiss broke off. “I'm being silly. It's just, things weren't like this for me before we met. Dad and I, we fought all the time, especially when he wanted me to be CEO. I never dated, was far from popular, bullied. Suzu and Naomi could tell you stories about it."  
  
"Maybe I'm your good luck charm," Andrew purred in her ear.   
  
"Maybe." Mika closed her eyes, reminding herself he was right. She had been working hard.  _Just accept it and enjoy it._  
  
Mika couldn't remember how they'd met. She'd lost a couple of days in her life, an odd amnesia that occurred when she first inherited her grandfather's estate and moved into his mansion; but no one else worried over it. The grief of a bereaved granddaughter, they called it. And in the six years since, it never happened again.   
  
Andrew was now CEO of Anderson Toys, his dad vice-chairman of the board her father was on. Her parents loved him. His family's stables in the northern suburbs of Chicago led her to her love of horses and he supported her decision to go to U of I's veterinary school. The Lewises even helped her approach Tempel Farms, giving her a recommendation for a three year residency at the elite stables. If she was really lucky, they might even offer full employment when she finished, as a specialist in equine medicine.   
  
"You're right, you are my good luck charm." She hugged him tightly, pushing away her worries.   
  
"Only because you've made me the luckiest man in the world." He admitted, his heart in his words.  
  
"Well, Mr. Lucky,” Mika broke the seriousness of the moment before he could. “Titus here needs some exercise and I think I can find another horse for you, if you'd like to go for a ride." It was only early afternoon. They could take the horses down the paths, letting her work as well as enjoy some time with him. Besides, horseback riding was one of their favorite past times.   
  
"Mmmm." Andrew's hands slid down her back, gliding over her ass to pull Mika tighter against him, making her look up at him in surprise as she felt his arousal rubbing up against her stomach through their clothes. His look turned heated and stole her breath. It had been a long time since they’d been together and he was excited to have her back in his arms again. "How about a ride in the hayloft before we go for a ride?" he whispered closely in her ear.   
  
Mika felt her cheeks warm, a flutter of excitement in her belly. It wouldn't be the first time they'd done it here, but with her returning to Chicago, it would be her last. A little sentimental and a lot more excited to be back with her handsome beau, she glanced around to make sure they were alone and moved towards the ladder. The other stable hands also were all students and interns, at afternoon classes while she checked their charges. No one would notice or disturb them if they were quick.   
  
Andrew climbed up after her and slid off his tie, draping it on the top rung of the ladder; an unspoken sign requesting privacy that the students had all agreed upon for years untold. “I love you,” Andrew told her as he took her hand.  
  
“I love you, too.” Mika’s eyes shone as she let him draw her into the shadows with him.  
  
Mouths meeting, he pulled his blazer off, tossing it on a hay bale before lifting Mika up against him and setting her on its edge. Her knees around his hips, it was the perfect height and they both gasped for air between kisses as they fumbled at their belts and buttons, Mika finally slapping his hands away and taking charge. Andrew let her, grabbing her braid and pulling the tie off the end, combing his fingers through her hair to let it fall loose.  
  
He felt his pants drop and then she was rubbing against him, leaning back on her hands as he grabbed her thighs. He slid in, both of them moaning as their bodies connected. In their experience, nothing was hotter or faster than the first after time apart. Texts, calls, video chat never equaled the feel of her in his arms, of him moving inside of her. Andrew grabbed Mika’s sweater and shoved it up, pulled her bra down,  and squeezed her breast. He rolled her nipple between his fingers to shoot lightning down into her coiling belly, making her buck her hips harder and giving an even better angle as he leaned over her.  
  
“Tighter, sweetheart,” Andrew panted and she squeezed, her legs lifting to circle his waist. “That’s my girl.”  
  
“Almost.” Mika gasped, her fingers digging into the hay as she braced and threw her head back.  
  
Andrew moved away, surprising her as he guided her, flipping her over to bend her over the bale. Then he was back inside, gripping her hips and thrusting as he held her down. His blazer was silky against her belly, protecting her from the hay as he rode her, upping the pace. The sound of their bodies meeting drowned out their panting. He knew just how she liked it and it rubbed her just the right way.  
  
Mika went over the edge crying out, her body shuddering before Andrew pulled out, his own orgasm splashing over her ass.   
  
“Sorry.” He apologized as he fought to catch his breath, reaching for his handkerchief. She was on the pill, they were committed and almost married, but it was still a habit to be careful.  
  
“Why? I’m not, Mr. Lucky.” Mika teased breathlessly from where she lie.  
  
*  
  
The wind tugged at Mika's hair, making her glad she'd tied it in a long tail down her back, not wanting to bother with braiding it again. Her gray sweater was warm enough for the May weather as she rode on the English saddle, knees gripping Titus' sides. Andrew rode beside her, laughing as his horse danced beneath him, the gelding wanting to run all out as they turned down the backstretch of the path.   
  
"Care to race? He's feeling frisky." He laughed again as his horse looped around in a circle, trying to get the other gelding to play.   
  
"You're spoiling him," Mika chided, though her own eyes danced. She smiled as she saw Titus' ears perk, his own step becoming more of a prance as his friend lifted his spirits.   
  
"Oh, a bit of a run won't hurt. And I like spoiling the ones I love. After this, I'll take you out to a fancy dinner."  
  
"Ooooo, fancy? Why do I feel like our evening is going in reverse?" She teased.   
  
"Well, fancy as in Jupiter's. We can get a pizza, a couple beers, shoot some pool. And later,  I was thinking the evening would be more of a full circle." Andrew gave a sidelong, hopeful look with a wag of his brows and Mika answered with her own laugh.   
  
"You are the luckiest man in the world."  
  
"Yes!" He cheered. He flashed a broad grin and kicked his horse into a gallop, giving it its full head to go as fast as it wanted.   
  
Seeing the other horse take off, Mika let Titus go after the gelding, her horse a little more cautious. He was recovering nicely from his tumble, happy to run as well.  
  
They followed Andrew at a distance, Mika enjoying the sight of her fiancé. The wind of their passage blew Andrew's hair back, his blazer flapping in the breeze, his long legs gripping the horse's barrel. He looked free and so happy; it was a moment she'd always remember.  
  
She’d always remember it as the moment before his horse stumbled mid-stride and wheeled beneath him, throwing Andrew from it's back and into one of the trees alongside the path.   
  
"Andrew!" Mika shouted, yanking her reins to get Titus to stop. The other gelding bolted down the path, racing back towards the stables as she got her horse under control. She quickly jumped down, running to where Andrew lay. His blank brown eyes stared up at hers, unseeing. Mika knew before she reached him, dropping down on her knees in the dirt beside him.  
  
Their luck had run out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit:  
> Sun is shining - Axwell Ingrosso  
> https://youtu.be/nbXgHAzUWB0


	3. Everything you ever did is coming back around.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uzaeris' betrayal.

Raestrao watched his brother as Uzaeris circled the throne room, flirting with the guests. The incubus was making sure his presence was known by all. Occasionally, his brother's smile would drop as their eyes met. Whether it was anger or fear, Raestrao could not tell, but one thing was certain. He would never trust Uzaeris again.

The incubus had chosen his path and honed his skills for one purpose. In flattery, temptation, seduction, deceit, Uzaeris was incomparable; as evident by the absence of Raestrao’s Queen.

Decades before; when they were younger, when they had chosen different names, they had been close. There was no one else he would willingly share his hopes, dreams, and fears with. Izroul knew, unable to prevent his mind reading powers from hearing his eldest brother’s thoughts, but they would pretend otherwise. And there were some secrets, shared in the middle of the night when their brothers slept, that truly were only between them. The two eldest of five half-brothers, they only became closer as they all escaped into the human world and reached for new lives. Raestrao knew Uzaeris only went so he would. He had needed the unanimous decision from all of his brothers to accept that he could leave. They even became a true family, while it had lasted.

 _It was an act of rebellion,_ Raestrao reminded himself. They were his father’s words to the court, upon their return. _A dereliction of duty_ , _by the young and foolish Heir._

It took weeks before the Demon Lord inquired about Zecaeru, annoyed by the hounding of his mother. He disowned the younger brother, considering him a traitor. Their father never mentioned Izroul at all.

Once more Raestrao shoved the memories of that time away. Thoughts of his brothers and where they might be now were just distractions. In truth, he had only been in the human world a few months. _It was foolish to dream of a simple life, a human life._ During the last week, he’d met a girl. They all had. _Mika._ Raestrao still remembered her, even now. But she had made a choice and so had he, accepting his role as Heir and returning with his queen by his side.

Where she remained until twenty years ago.

 _Ezaeur._ Raestrao gripped the arm of his throne once more, nails practically digging into the gold. Uzaeris’ eyes flashed to him again, pleased as he conversed with a gargoyle demoness. His sly regard brought Raestrao more memories.

 

*

“Where is your Queen?!” His father demanded as his fist slammed down on their war table. Raestrao stood tall, but would not meet his eyes. It was one more straw on top of the pile the Kingdoms’ rebellion had built. Various markers were set upon the map and their story was not what the Demon Lord wanted to see. Too many colors, too many units that were not theirs, circling. Ezaeur would be needed to tip those who were not fully committed to fighting alongside the Demon Lord. Her power would convince the troops of victory. “Find her!”

Raestrao looked everywhere: her conservatory, the gardens, the private suite of rooms she’d requested specifically for her own use. All of them were empty. He knew better than to check their bedchamber; she was never there. Finally, he let himself acknowledge the possibility that the rumors he had heard that morning were true. Finally, he sought her out… in his brother’s bedchamber.

“Where is she? Where is Ezaeur?” Raestrao’s words echoed with his power of command as he looked around the room. The sheets of his brother’s empty bed were strewn across it and down onto the floor, but his wife was nowhere to be seen. Intimidation rolled off of him as naturally as his scent but Uzaeris’ shields held firm, as usual.

“Why do you care now?” His brother studied a nail, his hair hanging over an eye as he leaned back against his bedpost. His insolence had been growing over the past few years, along with his acquaintance to the Queen.

“What do you mean? She is my wife.” Raestrao grit the words out between clenched teeth.

“Not anymore. You never knew how to take care of her.” The incubus shook the red bangs from his face as he looked up at him, his expression bland.

“Not anymore?” Raestrao lost it. His hands gripped his brother’s shoulders, shaking him. “We are on the brink of War!” He roared. Taller than Uzaeris by inches and more muscular than the slender incubus, Raestrao loomed over him. “Explain.”

“Really? Must I?” Uzaeris twisted in his grip, a wave of magenta power flaring out from him, knocking his brother back. Tendrils waved about him for a second, before pulling away and disappearing, leaving only the magenta glow of the incubus’ magic in his eyes. And revealing the shine of a gold band upon Uzaeris’ brow.

“What is this?” Startled that his brother had used his magic against him, Raestrao felt his stomach drop.

“You should have known you’d lose her when you let father kill Saero.” Uzaeris straightened, resplendent with his new royal status. “I am a Lord in my own right, now.” His eyes flashed again, his smile returning with a haughty demeanor.

“How dare you?” Raestrao’s voice turned deadly, answering him with a flare of gold from his own whiskey eyes, threatening to call his own magic. “She’s MY Queen.”

“She came to me, dear brother. A Queen can choose whomever she wishes for her Lord,” Uzaeris reminded him. “And I know how to properly take care of a Queen.” He licked his upper lip before sneering.

Raestrao tried to deny it with every ounce of his being. _No. Never. Saero...Saero I could accept but…Cuckolded by my own brother in front of the entire kingdom?_ It sent a chill down Raestrao’s spine: the humiliation, Uzaeris’ sheer audacity. “I never took you for the whore everyone calls you.” He flushed as his fury raged. “I was wrong. Your mother would be proud of you. All that time on your knees, Uzaeris, and you finally got that sly tongue of yours into a Queen.”

The incubus blinked, his mask slipping for a second before the courtesan’s smile returned. Uzaeris walked up beside him, turning his head to study him before reaching for his sharpest weapons: the words that would cut the deepest. “Everyone takes me, brother. Or begs me to take them,” he whispered in Raestrao’s ear. “Everyone knew, but you.

“You retain your kingdom, Raestrao, you and father; but the Lands of Lillith are ours once more.” The incubus moved past him into the middle of the room. “I’ll leave it to you to tell him. You are his favorite, after all.”

Raestrao clenched his eyes closed for a second. He took a deep breath and whipped around to face his brother. “You would do this to me?” _One last chance_.

“It appears I already have.” Uzaeris spread his arms and gave a shallow shrug. Calling a magical circle up beneath his feet, he revealed the little spell Ezaeur had taught him. It would teleport him to the castle of Lillith hundreds of leagues away, to return to her, now that their message had been delivered. “Farewell, brother. I would say it’s been fun, but, well… you know.”

A flash of magenta power burst through the room, blinding Raestrao for a moment. When he could finally look once more, Uzaeris was gone; the last of his brothers to leave him. It hurt more than losing his wife. It hurt more than losing the Queen they needed to win this war.

His closest brother had betrayed him.

*

 

"Dr. Mika Anderson." They announced her name from the podium to the faint applause of family and friends. Graduation was a numb sort of blur happening around her, distant as if she were hearing it from the next room.

 _Whoever said you can't cry forever obviously never lost someone that close to them._ Mika felt as though she had done nothing but cry since the moment Andrew was taken from her. Even when the tears weren't falling, her heart was screaming in her chest. Her head ached in its futile denial of his death.

His parents had driven down immediately and rushed to her side, mourning their loss with her. Her own parents followed the next day, her father distant and cold when he saw how much she'd fallen apart. At first, they tried to get her sleeping as if she wouldn't feel the loss in her nightmares. Then they tried to get her talking. The school sent a psychiatrist along with its regrets and her gray doctorate cap and gown. Today, after three days, she finally broke down and took the pills.

Now her body and mind were sluggish and slow, her eyes no longer physically able to cry. Her thoughts were muddy, at times barely able to form sentences as people led her around from place to place. Even now, they tugged at her to rise and get the diploma she'd worked so hard to obtain, for the last six years of her life. All of her time with Andrew and she’d spent most of it here.

Her feet moved up the stairs to the stage of their own accord as she watched them, hand tight on the railing. She lifted her head to see the line of professors ready to shake her hand, the head of the Veterinary College at the front holding her diploma out to her. She took the leather case in numb fingers, her other hand extending to clasp theirs as she stepped from one to the next, to the next. So many eyes were full of pity. They murmured congratulations and condolences in the same breath. Behind her, they were already calling the next graduate.

Mika stopped looking up at them until she saw the loafers, the khakis in front of her. Her hand wasn’t shook. Trembling, she looked up to see him. _Andrew._ Her fiancé stood right in front of her. He wore his typical blazer and shirt, his hair mussed. A proud smile met her confusion.

"You did it, Dr. Anderson," he said her name and his eyes softened into sadness. He leaned in to hold her, but she couldn’t feel it. "I had to come. You are so beautiful and strong and everything I could ever hope for. Keep going; you'll find another.” He gave a small chuckle. “He’s even better than me; if you can believe it." The sound of his teasing laugh warmed her and she remembered it again. How often she'd wrapped her heart in it.

"Be happy, Mika. Don't make me worry about you." His voice faded to a whisper and she found herself staring at an empty space on the edge of the stage.

"Andrew? Andrew, no. Don't leave me. Please," Mika quietly begged, breaking through the numbness. The graduate behind her caught up to her. She felt his hand on her shoulder; he was telling her something. _You have to_ **Keep going**. The memory of Andrew’s voice covered his.

Then her mother was up on the stage, guiding her down the steps to her father. His stern expression surprised her and Mika faltered until she recognized his anger and apathy. It had been so long since she'd seen him this mad. "Get her in the car. We're going home." David Anderson commanded and her mother quickly complied.

Mika found herself sitting alone in the back seat, no longer in her robes. Her diploma was on her lap and her father voicing excuses to Andrew's father, Jared, outside. The black leather interior closed in around her. The sound of Andrew's voice, his chuckle, echoed in her ears over and over.

She heard a tap on the window and saw Jared looking down into the car at her, his hand pressed to the glass in farewell. He looked haunted, both of Andrew's parents did, and she lifted her fingers to the window opposite his in understanding. They would still be there for her. It was a small comfort as her mother hurried into the passenger seat and her father got in behind the wheel. He slammed the door and pulled the car away from the other couple as quickly as possible.

Dizzy, Mika sat back, feeling as though she were eighteen again with her father lecturing her about appearances. "You have to hold yourself together, young lady. How else do you expect to be CEO?" The words cut her. Andrew was CEO. It was the job he'd taken to open her own life to her.

 _Was it all a dream?_ It felt even more surreal than before. The idea of starting all over again, she shrunk away from it. She wasn’t ready and she wasn’t sure how to be. She was sure that she couldn’t be under her father's power, or it truly would be as if Andrew had never existed.

 **You are so beautiful and strong.** Mika blinked and shook her head, biting her bottom lip and letting the pain clear her mind. "Take me back to the mansion." She demanded, glaring at her father in the rearview mirror.

He looked up into it to meet her eyes, surprised. "What did you say?" His mouth thinned in anger at her attitude and tone.

"You heard me." Her voice was just as cold. She welcomed the layer of ice the drugs were forming around her heart. They gave her some distance from her father’s anger, her mother’s pity, and her own pain and weakness. “Take me to the mansion. _That_ is my home.”

It was a place to start.

*

 

Four long hours later, Mika stood looking up at the Anderson Family Mansion as her father drove off down the driveway. Built by her grandfather for her grandmother, the house had been bequeathed to Mika upon his death. Her own father had thought it a punishment to force her out at eighteen, to live on her own. An attempt to scare her and make her want to come home, to make her more agreeable. Instead, everything in her world was right, until now.

Mika unlocked the front door, her mind sparking like lightning as it swung open, making her gasp. For a brief moment, she thought she saw something. _Blood._ Pooling on the floor, it was a trail from one of the dining room windows. The bodies of five men sprawled on the white marble tiles of the foyer in front of her. A blink and they were gone, her heart hammering in her chest.

 _What was that?_ The drugs had already worn off, her anxiety returning. She took a moment, studying the room; but there was no sign of what she had seen.

She carefully closed and locked the door behind her. Turning back and into the room, music sounded in Mika's ears. The piano; someone was playing it. The haunting, elegant notes of a piano suite echoed for a moment, drawing her. She looked about with wide eyes, the sweet smell of strawberry cupcakes hitting her nose as she stepped forward, slowly spinning to look around the room. Her gaze ran up and over the wrap-around stairways; nothing stood out as different.

“Woman.” An annoyed, masculine growl at her shoulder had her whipping back around with a startled cry.

She was alone. The room was silent once more, except for her. Mika glanced down the hall. No one was sitting on the piano’s bench in the conservatory. The lid was down over its keys. The house was empty. The afternoon sun filtered in from the windows of the dining room, showing the dust dancing in the air. She laid a hand over her heart, taking a few deep breaths. 

"Miss, are you alright?" Her eyes flew open as another memory flashed again, golden brown eyes looking down into hers as she heard a well-educated man's voice in her ears. It sent a shiver down her spine that had nothing to do with fear, a tight coil in her belly. Mika stumbled backward, her shoes slipping on the marble tiles. She bumped into the round wooden table in the middle of the room, confusion replacing her excitement.

"Should we be gone in the morning?" a young man's voice asked her quietly. She could hear gentle hope behind the soft words. _The hardest question in my life._ But who was asking it? The voice brought the sense of strong arms carrying her, of shy laughter echoing in the foyer, of grim determination to protect her, of indigo eyes she swore she'd never forget from a world so different from her own. But there was no face to the memory and it disappeared even as she thought it.

 _What is happening to me?_   These weren't memories of Andrew or her grandfather. They were nothing she'd ever experienced before in this house. _A hallucination; it’s the drugs._

She reached down to steady herself and her hand landed in a small crystal bowl, toppling it. Cuff links, a tie tack, some loose change; all of it spilled out over the wood, coins rolling and dropping to the tile floor. The noise rang loudly in her head, startling her, waking her up.

 _Andrew._ His memory thundered back into her mind as she touched one of the cuff links. It was a present she gave him for Christmas. She looked down at his things, no longer cherished by the man, left behind.

_Like me._

_No_. Mika's heart ached and the sobs rose in her throat once more to echo through the empty halls and rooms. It brought an even greater sense of loss than before. _I can’t do this. I can’t._ It was too difficult to face. All of it was too difficult. She felt exhausted. _Upstairs_. Leaving her bags at the door, Mika climbed the stairs. She wanted to get away from them, away from any sign of what had happened.

It had been months since she'd last been here, spending the winter holiday break with Andrew before her final rotation began in the Spring. He'd moved in shortly after they began dating, their long summers together giving them a peek into their future lives as husband and wife. Her room, the master bedroom, still held their things. It was just how she remembered it. Books, figurines, jewelry, and watches, still scattered over the shelves together, as mixed up as they were. The bed was hastily made. The pillows crooked. They still smelled like him; it beckoned her with a feeling of solace. Laying down, Mika closed her eyes. It felt like Andrew had just gone away for awhile. It was as if their long distance relationship could continue in her mind, indefinitely. _Maybe I don’t have to face it. Maybe he isn’t gone and this is the dream._

It was a wish, so strong. She lay on her side clenching her hands, her teeth, her eyes. Begging the world, God, anything with the power to answer her: _I’m not alone. I’m not alone. I’m not alone._

 **Sleep, just sleep.** The thought came to her, soft and coaxing with her own voice.

In a daze, Mika pulled her clothes off and slid between their sheets naked. She reached for sleep’s oblivion, wishing with all her heart that she would dream of him.

_I’m alone._

She wasn’t.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit  
> Our Demons - The Glitch Mob  
> https://youtu.be/VkvOLB7Yzhs


	4. No one needs to be alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uzaeris returns home

Uzaeris stood on the balcony of his old room, looking out over what had once been his father's land. At first glance, it didn't look that different from before; but on closer inspection, he could see the subtle changes Raestrao had made, little things to help with the improvement of demon life in his kingdom. Enhanced farming technology and irrigation techniques watered and increased the crop output of the fields below. The common demons, no longer called slaves, had sandals on their feet as they walked and backpacks or carts to help carry their loads. The land was becoming self-sustaining once more. There would be no need to conquer for resources.

 _Such change. No, such comforts._ They wouldn't have been possible in his father's time. No one would have cared enough to try and make it happen. A piece of James' heart must have managed to survive, a shadow of what his eldest brother had once been before Raestrao chose his path.

Uzaeris shifted against the stone railing, lifting his head into the moonlight. His red hair fell back from his eyes, giving him a clear view of the star-scattered sky. Almost a thousand miles away, his own kingdom continued as it always had, following the ways of Lilith. He knew he should go back, but something had drawn him here: an energy that sparked now and again.

 _Is Raestrao finally playing with his magic?_ No, it didn’t carry his brother’s signature. It was something more, something that lapped against Uzaeris’ senses. Ripples of waves sent out in search of... _What?_ He forced himself to remain still, to calm himself with every bit of his discipline. The strength of it only increased when he entered the castle, the frequency picking up, both at an alarming rate.

_What is it?_

Taking a deep breath, he waited, thinning his shields purposefully. It was a danger here in his brother's kingdom, but he still held out that Raestrao wouldn't kill him. _Not yet._

More time passed and Uzaeris leaned down on his hands, hanging his head. _Where is it?_ He was frustrated, agitated. His body was itchy and wanting, though he'd had his fill siphoning energy off the nobles in the throne room. An incubus, his nudity was standard attire to arouse the desire in those he passed. It let him select the choicest to draw into his bed and feast upon. The act of sex was a means to an end to his hunger. But this...

Suddenly the power danced over his skin again. Stronger, it lit his lavender eyes with gold and brushed his curled horns like a lover's caress. His body responded, as it only had for one. One from his past that was only a faint dream now.

_Could it be?!_

Uzaeris wasn’t ready for the next pulse, following so close. The shiver of its approach hit him and this time, this time it was a wave of power that crashed over him. It pulled him under, plunging him into a depth of energy he never thought he’d feel again as it broke completely through.

_It is her._

Uzaeris’ eyes snapped open and he pushed himself up off the railing to stand up straight, gasping for air as if he were drowning. His eyes sparked magenta, his magic greeting the other and pulling it in, along with the memory of soft lips and innocent green eyes. Shields down, the wards of the castle crackled at the edges of his senses, but it was only a background to the energy that enveloped him. It resonated with him and within him, invisible to all but those who had touched it before.

 _Mika._ Uzaeris lifted a hand, feeling the power gather to him. It spiraled about him, awaiting his command. _But how? Ezaeur drained you. She fueled your wish, binding your perfect life with your power. You shouldn't have any magic left._

The spell had been huge; it took the succubus months to weave it. Ezaeur even broke the spell's focus when Mika became engaged to Andrew. The girl’s energy should have been fulfilling her wish, her magic locked away for her lifetime. Yet here it was, crossing between their worlds to find him.

Whatever happened to that spell, the consequences were only beginning.

*

Damien picked up a stack of books from the counter and walked down one of the narrow aisles between the shelves of his used book store. Towering eight feet high to either side, the solid wood muffled the sounds within the small shop and made it feel like a maze. You never knew what you'd find when you turned a corner, that was unless you were Damien.

"Excuse me." He neatly dodged a couple of high school girls as they stepped into his aisle, startling them. He kept his shields down in his store, keeping an eye on his customers so he could help them if they needed it. Not to mention he loved hearing their thoughts on books or even better, those who read “aloud” in their minds to him.

Giving the girls a second look, he felt a rush of dread. He'd seen the two before. They'd taken to coming to the shop, manhandling the books while watching him for hours. Their incessant chatter buzzed in his ears while their thoughts made him even more uncomfortable. But they were customers, all he could do was wait for them to get tired of him and hope they go away. He quickly spun back around, taking another turn between the shelves in an attempt to lose them.

"Oh! Don't go!" One pouted as the other looked at her.

"Yeah, we're looking for a book!" The second piped up.

"By whom?" Damien called over the stack, side-stepping through another break in the shelves, attempting to get further from them.

"Whom... " they tittered to each other, “His old English is adorable!”

 _It's proper grammar, not old English._ He grit his teeth, wishing he could close the shop early. His control was wearing thin again, his constant hunger even more incessant. _Today is not a good day._ But there were real customers still shopping and he needed to shelve the new arrivals before tomorrow. His regulars would come looking for a book for the week, before making their commute home on the train.

Sure, his business was mostly a shuffling of the same books with just enough profit to scrape out room and board and rent, but it was his. It was a modest lifestyle, a quiet place, the sanctuary he had dreamed of since he first saw his father’s library, first listened in on his brothers’ reading. The smell of old paper, the rustling of pages, comfortable chairs, and worlds; so many different worlds that he could escape to on any given day. Places where he didn’t have to be himself; where more often than not, the girl said “I love you,” back.

"Whoops!" Damien heard a book drop in the next aisle over, then several more. Smothered giggling followed. "Sir? Sir, we need your help."

"Yes, please come help us!"

He stopped, dropping his head, barely holding his anger in check. How they even thought any of this was remotely acceptable, let alone attractive, was beyond him. Their thoughts pushed his to darker realms, but he knew better. He wouldn’t go as far as his brother; Erik would take the abuse with a smile and flirty compliment, but he would keep up appearances. He could be polite. Humans were like this sometimes. _All but one._ His hunger flared again; he was used to it. There was no way he’d take a drop of energy from those two.

Damien set the stack down and turned back, knowing exactly where they were. Moving into the aisle, he saw the pile at their feet, the top-most shelf half-empty.

“They just fell.” One of them lied boldly, still half-standing on one of the step stools scattered through the store as she pouted.

It broke his patience. "Get out."

"What?" Both looked up at him, startled by the growl in his voice.

"I said ‘get out’. You've damaged at least fifty dollars worth of merchandise with your little stunt." He glared and one of the two suddenly burst into tears going on about him hating her or something.

"You're right, I do hate you," he snapped. The girl abruptly stopped, blinking up at him in surprise. _Oh, damn. She didn’t say it out loud._ He'd heard the girl's thoughts and in his anger blurted out his answer. _It can't be helped now._

"You are not welcome here. Either pay the damages or leave and never return. Count yourselves lucky I don't involve the police." Damien reached into his pocket, pulling his phone out and snapping a pic as they stared at him wide-eyed.

"Get out or I’ll post it," he warned. They quickly snatched up their bags, kicking the books on the floor in their haste to leave. He waited a few seconds before swiping the photo into his archives, just in case he’d need it again.

Letting out a deep breath, Damien fought to calm himself. He was on edge; he had been ever since last week. Waiting. Hoping. Thoughts buzzed from the humans in his shop and he closed his eyes, trying to close his shields as well. It was no use; his temper had the best of him today.

"Are you all right, Damien?" Mr. Marreti, a retiree who frequented the shop, walked down the aisle to join him. Damien flushed and bent to gather the books, embarrassed that a customer saw that. "Let me help you." The elderly man rested a hand on his shoulder. Unaware, his kind regards trickled his energy into the incubus, helping him catch his breath more than any mental exercise would.

"It's alright, I can get them." Damien shook his head, but the man insisted, bending down and picking a couple of books off the floor himself. His energy was weak but good. It made Damien wish he, himself, was too.

"Thank you." He accepted them as the elderly human handed the books over. Another trickle of sweetness flowed as his back was pat and he heard how pleased Mr. Marreti felt to be needed. "I really appreciate your help."

"Anytime. And I think I'll just take a couple of these home with me. I didn't see them before.” He chose a few books before Damien stepped up on the stool and slid the rest back onto their shelf.

"They’re on the house, Mr. Marreti." Damien smiled gently down at the elderly gentleman. "Let me wrap them up for you. I think you'll enjoy them."

 _I should meet up with Matthew again. He’ll know how Mika’s doing,_ he tried to cheer himself up. And besides, he hadn’t seen his older brother in months.

*

 _What are you doing, Mika?_ Uzaeris considered her power, running it between his fingers. Not for the first time, he wondered if she had garnered the attention of others; especially those from her grandfather's past. A witch or warlock strong enough to notice the spell could interfere with it. But all he could sense was the human girl.

 _And Harold._ The power echoed with the spell of a gate created thirty years in the past. A gate he and his brothers had happily gone through before their lives changed forever. Nostalgia made him smile sadly. He wasn’t the same demon he had been. _Has Mika changed, too?_ Uzaeris called the gate into being once more, his index finger toying with it. He felt the edges, so thin, between their worlds.

 _Do I dare?_ he considered, then laughed at himself. _All you have done in this life and you ask yourself that now? Ezaeur would laugh so hard._ With that thought he plunged his fingertips in, drawing the energy to ignite it into the shape of the portal once more. He held it closed, thinning it, stretching it, to grant him a view of what lie beyond, without breaking through. A magical window into Mika's realm, he sent himself spiritually to see what was on the other side.

 _The human world._ Uzaeris’ vision cleared to show the Anderson Mansion. Their only real home in that world and the last they'd known of it, before returning to their own realm. He looked about with a sentimentality that struck a chord within him, as when he played his harpsichord. So long ago, and yet next to no time for them in their world. Six years, maybe? It was difficult to recall the exact time difference, but the human world experienced one year for every five plus in the demon world.

 _Who was I, again?_ His brothers and he had all taken human glamours; each hiding their demonic nature in a spell of illusion that looked and felt like it belonged. They took human names as well when they met the warlock, Harold Anderson, who had helped them cross over. With new identities, it was Harold’s money and support that allowed them to explore until he passed away.

 ** _Erik._** Uzaeris smiled as he remembered the name. He summoned the glamour that hid his horns and stripes, clothing himself in pants and shirt and vest, designer shoes on his feet. Even then he’d had expensive tastes.

Enjoying the feel of the fabrics, he walked like a ghost through the house. It was just as he remembered: the kitchen where they'd cooked; the conservatory with its grand piano; the foyer where they'd first found themselves, bloody and beaten, in Mika's life. The door opened, startling him, and Uzaeris turned to see her standing in the doorway. The energy of the house, the Anderson Legacy, embraced her as she stepped inside.

**_Mika._ **

Dressed in a smart black dress and heels, she entered not as a girl this time, but as a woman. At twenty four, she looked older, as they all did; but what surprised him the most was her state. Her wide eyes were red and swollen, glazed; she swayed on her feet as she walked.

The power around her brushed his and the room ignited in a burst of purple and gold sparks. Uzaeris stepped back, shielding his eyes as his mage sight burned.

Mika startled as though she felt it, too, turning and looking about. He could not see what she saw, could not hear what she heard; but as an incubus, he felt her emotions spike with fear and wonder. She moved past him, looking around the house. As she reached the hallway, she checked down it towards the piano in the conservatory. She studied it for a moment before turning away and looking back into the dining room.

Her emotions spiked again; only this time it wasn't fear. The warm, sweet taste of her sudden arousal hit him like a slap in the face. His memories had faded, more a dreamed ideal than a remembrance. Now, with her energy restored, Mika's desire triggered his hunger even stronger than he could remember, holding him.

Uzaeris blinked, trying to steel himself against it even as his body reveled in it. He could just make out the last of the finely woven violet cords of Ezaeur's spell. They were unraveling, to disappear like smoke.

Mika stumbled back and hit the table in the middle of the foyer. Her emotions charged through a range of fear to hope to happiness. Her hand shot out to steady herself, toppling a dish of coins; her breath hitching in another gasp as she looked down upon it. The taste of desire, the slice of happiness emanating from her, changed instantly to ash. It finally cut Uzaeris off, releasing him to think once more.

"Andrew," she mourned, the name faint on her breath.

Uzaeris rubbed a hand down his face. It was like the first time, Mika almost striking him dumb, his mind giddy as if drunk. Until that name reached his ears. The incubus doubted she even knew she spoke it. _But where is he?_ Where was the human that had caught her heart before he and his brothers even had a chance?

Mika brushed a cuff link with her fingers and started to sob and he knew. Uzaeris instantly recognized it. It wasn't just a break up; he knew heartbreak, intimately. Whatever had happened, Andrew was gone.

Mika took a shuddering breath, her sobs growing stronger. She was falling apart. He’d never seen her like this, never imagined he would. Tears struck the wood of the table, her hands curling into white-knuckled fists. Uzaeris couldn't take it. Couldn't take her pain.

_**Enough.** _

He sent more of his power out into her world, careful not to touch her. A fine golden chain, woven with a violet thread of coercion, draped about her throat like a necklace, calming her a little.

 _The effect she has on me…_ Uzaeris vowed he would only use his magic on her. She was just on the other side of the portal, despite being a world away. If he reached for her, he could touch her, and he wouldn't be able to help himself if he did. Not now. He'd pull her into his arms and take her, despite her sorrow.

“Upstairs," he spoke the word aloud, sending it into her mind like a dream. Mika paused, pulling herself back together before moving to the stairs. Her grief was raw in the air and he nudged her once more with his magic, sending her on, before following at a distance.

Uzaeris turned down the hallway to her bedroom. Mika was still crying, but quietly now, catching her breath as she rubbed at her face with the back of her hand. Seeing the room spiked another burst of pain and Uzaeris saw the signs of the man who should have been there. He could see this was no escape for her, at all.

“Sleep,” he whispered the command. “Just sleep.” It was a temporary fix. One that had helped Ezaeur in the beginning, but would only last for so long.

 _What can I do?_ He wondered as his vision returned to show his room in the castle.

 _ **Erik.** I could be Erik once more._ He only had to physically step through the portal and he would return to the human world. He could leave all of this behind. No one would bother to follow him; he was quite sure of that. It might even be a relief to most. Uzaeris' hands shook as he considered it: a kingdom he never asked for, a life he never wanted, his reputation that of a whore in everyone's eyes. Even his own family reviled him. His family in the demon world, that was.

 _Izroul is still there. Zecaru is still there_ , he thought as he saw Mika kick off her shoes on the other side of the gate. _A fresh start. Why am I even hesitating?_

He raised a hand to remove the band on his brow, only to hear the door to his chambers slam open behind him. Startled, he dropped the spell, dismissing the portal as he realized it. Lost in his thoughts, he’d taken too long; Raestrao had come to him.

Uzaeris gave a sweep of his hand, his magic closing the door behind his brother as the larger demon entered.

Twenty years had passed since they were last in this room together. Uzaeris wondered at the difference. While he felt worn, Raestrao was just entering his prime: well-muscled and every bit as ruthless and proud as their father had wanted him to be. It was hard to imagine the realm's Demon Lord with a book in his hand now. Almost insane to think of him cooking and quietly tending flowers as he had once aspired to.

"Brother," Uzaeris beckoned him out into the night.

Raestrao, fully expecting to find the incubus ‘corpus in flagranta delictis’ with one of the nobles of his court, paused for a second. Seeing the bed yet made, he purposefully strode past it. "The proper title is 'Lord'," he instructed, arrogance warring with aggravation.

"Still trying to teach me after all these years?" the redhead taunted. "I would have thought you'd know better than that. "

The elder brother fought to maintain his educated manner. “Consider yourself lucky I have deemed to speak with you at all.”

“Really, Raestrao? Threats so soon?” Uzaeris’ mouth curled, his nose lifting in contempt. “Have you grown that insecure?”

“How dare you show your face here?” With a roar, the Demon Lord grabbed him by the neck and slammed him up against the wall. Raestrao summoned his golden handgun in his other hand and rammed it up under his chin. “After all you have done, I swear, I will not be held responsible for my actions.”

The incubus held his composure, letting his brother pin him and met his eyes. “Like you weren’t responsible for Aomaris?”

Raestrao’s grip slackened just enough to give Uzaeris breathing room. "What did you say?" His words were a low growl.

"Will you take down another of your brothers? Go for another kingdom? Look at you,” Uzaeris jutted his chin up with derision. “I can barely recognize you under all of that. You truly are Father, wearing that crown."

Raestrao’s eyes narrowed, Uzaeris certain he’d finally pushed his brother too far. Disgusted, he shoved the incubus away, stepping back and dismissing his gun as he turned away. “Your actions were far more devastating to my kingdom than any of our brother’s,” he admitted. “You accuse me, but take a close look at what you’ve become, Uzaeris.”

The incubus looked away as well, his sly smile failing, his clever tongue quieted.

"Why have you returned?" Breaking the silence, Raestrao cut right to the heart of the matter as he turned back.

"So direct!" Uzaeris tried to spin it into a taunt but it sounded sad, even to his own ears. “Tell me, do you still tend the flowers in the garden?”

“Answer the question," the older demon growled, his hand curling into a fist.

"Answer mine first," Uzaeris pushed back, his expression changing once more.

Raestrao stepped back as he recognized it.

The danger had always been there: that Raestrao would follow in their father's tyrannical footsteps. Uzaeris and their other brothers would question him, nudge him, trying to keep him from the path fate had him set to follow. But after their last big act of rebellion, their group broke apart across the two realms. Despite how much Uzaeris had tried over the years, they lost him.

Now, with Mika’s appearance, the memories were fresh once more. He couldn't help but remember it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit:  
> People help the people - Birdy  
> https://youtu.be/OmLNs6zQIHo


	5. I will fall for you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James makes his choice.
> 
> I took a chance to build a world of mine  
> A one-way ticket for another life - Woodkid

"I can't believe she didn't ask us to stay," Sam growled, brushing a hand through his messy shock of brown hair, his green eyes blazing as they filed into the hotel room.

It was cheap and old, the only thing they could afford. It stank of dust, mold, mildew, and watered down cleaning supplies. The brown covers on the two sagging queen-sized beds looked decades old and probably were. The carpet was threadbare in a path from door to bed and bed to bathroom.

Erik looked about with a frown but knew better than to say anything. It was a far cry from Mika's mansion but they'd slept outdoors more often than not, before they found her. The human world was not as easy as they had hoped and all of them were left shell-shocked at Mika's choice. Not that he could blame her.

_She’s only human._

Erik glanced over at their youngest brother, Damien. _Are_   _you alright?_ The mind reader met his eyes but gave no response to the mental inquiry. _Of course, he isn't._

All of them had been drawn to the girl. All of them had their moments talking, laughing. All had begun their seduction of her as she spoke with them. Mika, Harold Anderson's granddaughter, the heir of the warlock who helped them into the human world in the first place. Her power was as strong as Harold's, just untamed. The raw energy of it had restored all five of them threefold, in a handful of days, adding to her attraction.

"Can you blame her?" Matthew echoed Uzaeris’ thoughts as he dropped onto one of the beds, making the best of the situation as he always did. "She was kidnapped by devils, saw our powers, heard Damien killing them…"

Their youngest brother turned away from them all, hanging his coppery head. He hadn't said a word since he said goodbye to the girl. Erik knew as well as the others how much Damien admired her. How much all of this was the dream, the salvation he reached for. Anyone could see they had connected; Erik would swear it. _What is she thinking?_

 ** _Tell me._** He thought it fiercely, his eyes studying the indigo hiding behind Damien's coppery bangs. There were unshed tears there that wouldn't fall in front of his brothers. Izroul was full of secrets, his burden beyond anything Erik could imagine; but maybe, just maybe they could go back and change Mika's mind. _Maybe Damien could find happiness._

"All of you, just get some sleep. We've had a long day." Once again James took the father figure role that he did so well: breaking into all of their thoughts and guiding them back to the here and now.

Erik looked back at his eldest brother, giving Damien some respite. James looked older than before, weary. He was trying to think of a plan, their next course of action, but it had been a hard blow for him as well. For the first time in the human world, they'd settled down; they'd started feeling like a true family. The first time in their lives, really. Until it ended. 

"James?" he inquired, but his older brother shook his head, heading to the bathroom.

Erik looked back to see that Matthew and Damien were already laying down on the second bed, Damien's back to them. Sam was stretched on the one closest, taking up two-thirds of it and stubbornly refusing to look at any of them, his temper still sharp. He picked up the TV remote and flipped on a random movie, a car chase providing sufficient background noise.

Erik moved to sit on the edge of the somewhat open bed. There were a couple of chairs in the room; they looked terribly uncomfortable. He would offer but he knew better than to try and get James to lay down on one of the beds.

"Go talk to him." Erik felt a hard shove in the middle of his back and slid off the blanket to land on his ass on the floor.

"Sam!" He jumped up, spinning around, and saw how upset the usually gruff brother really was.

"You're the only one James will confide in. It isn't his fault." Sam's green eyes flicked to the other bed. "It isn't anyone's fault."

Surprised, Erik nodded and walked to the closed bathroom door, tapping on it before hearing James' muffled call and entering. He closed the door carefully and turned to find his brother bent over the sink, splashing his face with cold water. James' tie was hung on the towel bar, his sweater pulled off and neatly folded to rest on the counter beside him, his glasses lying folded on top of the soft knit fabric.

"James."

"We were so close, Erik," his older brother sighed and looked up to see him in the mirror. "I could have taken that job, Ceo, and provided for us. Damien would have made her happy."

"We can go back, talk to her..."

James shook his head, drying off with a towel. "We gave her our word. We would only stay until we defeated Malix and she was safe."

"I can convince her." Erik tossed his hair out of his eyes with a flip of his wrist, flashing James his sly smile.

"No. She has feelings for Mr. Lewis." His voice was firm, the decision made.

"She has feelings for all of us." Erik dropped his seduction act and huffed out a breath. "It's only the beginning. She's a sweet girl. Her and Damien... I've never seen him like that. He told her his name!” Erik growled in frustration. “There's something there. We should go back."

 _There was something in the garden, too,_ James thought, remembering the girl in his arms as he showed her how to water the flowers. He'd leaned close and brushed her ear with his nose, savoring her scent. He could still smell it, even now, captured in his memory. The girl was an innocent, but her body still knew what it wanted. The tilt of her head, the sound of her quick inhalation as he lightly kissed her neck, the way she leaned into him with her hands tightening on his arms; it was all a nervous invitation that he should have taken.

"Erik, no." Though James said it more to himself.

"Then what? Where next? We can't return to Harold anymore, he's dead. That option’s off the table," Erik snapped.

"You think I don't know that?" James' temper broke. "You think I am just mourning over some lost girl? We cannot keep going on like this. It is a struggle for energy every day, for food and shelter every day."

"We're all in this together, James."

"No, we are not. All of you are looking to me to solve this. I'm responsible for all of us." The tall, slender demon shoved himself away from the counter.

"No, you're not!" Erik couldn’t help but yell.

"Yes, I am." James was as quiet as his brother was loud.

"There are other women, James. Other jobs. Damien and Matthew, they were right when they talked us into coming. We can make new lives here. It doesn't have to be town to town, exploring the world. We can settle down." But Erik's voice wasn't as sure as his words and his brother picked up on it.

"Maybe you are right." James reached for his glasses, sliding them back on.

"You're right," Erik stressed. "We're all tired. Let’s get some sleep. You'll come up with a plan in the morning."

James nodded, turning around and pulling his shirt sleeves back down, leaving his sweater on the counter. He walked to the door and paused to rest his hand on his brother's shoulder.

"What would I do without you? All of you?" he asked, quietly.

"Turn into father," Erik joked. His let his brother pull him into a brief hug, returning it before the tall demon left.

Alone in the bathroom, Erik stared at himself in the mirror. He was glad James had shot down his idea. He'd tried his charms on Mika and she had seen through them, through all of his facades to see him. _And still, she smiled at me._

The klutz nearly broke her ankle trying to help him clean, until he sent her to the kitchen to help Matthew. But she'd hummed to herself when he kissed her brow, she looked down on him shyly as he checked and massaged her foot. Not once did she push him away or demand his attentions as an incubus. She let him be and was content just to be with him. No expectations. No judgment. But the attraction was there.

_It was the start of something. How could it have ended so fast?_

*

Four hours later, Erik woke to see Sam leaning up against the hotel room door, guarding it. He could hear James' muffled voice beyond, on the balcony outside, a definitive female voice with him. The lights from the parking lot cast his brother's silhouette on the curtains over the room’s large window. Erik watched him pacing as the two spoke heatedly, the woman out of sight.

"What's going on?" His eyes met Sam’s.

"She found us," Damien spoke from behind him and Erik turned around to see both his other brothers were awake and sitting up as well. "It's the Princess from the Kingdom of Lilith, the one betrothed to one of us.” Damien watched James' silhouette as well. “She’s come to take us home."

"No way." Matthew folded his arms.

"Well, I'm not marrying the hussy," Sam added. 

"I don't think she wants you," Erik pointed out, growing even more concerned. James' voice was becoming less heated with every exchange, his pauses longer. All of them noticed.

"He's not really going to marry her, is he?" Matthew looked to Damien.

"Maybe it's for the best, for the Kingdom," Sam spoke up, surprising them.

"No. She wants the power for herself. She thinks she can control Raestrao," Damien explained

"Pffft. She's got another thing coming.” Sam tossed his head. “If the old bastard couldn’t break James, there's no way she'll make him her pawn. He'll have her on a leash and bent over begging before she knows it," he chuckled nastily.

"Sam!" Erik warned him, disgusted.

"What? You know his tastes."

"I don't think he will," Damien continued, becoming even more concerned.

"James is stronger than her. He'll put her in her place." Sam refused to think otherwise.

"Is this really happening? Why isn't he sending her back?" Matthew couldn't believe it.

Damien kept his silence. There were some questions he wouldn't answer, even to his own brothers.

"Damien?" Sam gave him a meaningful look.

"He's going to do it. He thinks it's the right choice, that it's his responsibility."

"That's bullshit!" Matthew blurted, the others all turning to him, surprised.

"Zecaeru," Erik tried to warn him as well.

"So it's Zecaeru now, _Uzaeris_? You want to go back. Admit it."

Sam gave a snort. "Of course he does. Not enough parties or girls here. Not to mention the only one worthy enough to be a Queen just turned his ass down for a human loser."

Damien turned away again, Matthew dropping his head as well. Erik met Sam's eyes, his anger flaring. "Well, at least she gave me her kiss willingly."

Sam snorted. "After James told you to kiss her. She didn't ask you to."

“Better than forcing her like the brute you are! You’re more like father than James.”

“Say that again, pretty boy, and you’re gonna get ugly real quick.”

"Guys, let's not fight over this!" Matthew tried to interject, turning to Damien with a worried expression.

"I'm fine," the youngest brother tried to reassure them as they all remembered.

"Dude, she wasn't all that special," Sam tried to comfort him. "She was clumsy, selfish. A real doofus," but his voice turned wistful at the end.

"You're wrong." Damien stood and leaned back against the wall. "She was special and wonderful. Thoughtful and giving. You didn't see it, but I did." She was Harold’s granddaughter and the spirit had asked him to keep her safe, to make sure she was happy. And it wasn’t just Harold’s desire.

She’d found him in the study, looking at the books, hunger ravaging him once more. Despite not knowing how to read; despite admitting he was nothing, no one at all; she wanted to help him. And when he kissed her, Mika wanted _him._

"Let her go," Sam warned him, recognizing the look in his brother’s eyes. "No girl is worth it."

"She is worth it. She is worth it, Sam." **_I won’t let you go. I promise._ ** And he wouldn’t. He would never let Mika go.

  
The mind reader jumped and his head whipped towards the door a moment before Sam felt the knob turning. The middle brother pushed off from the door, moving to stand beside Erik as the two walked in.

James saw them all awake and watching and looked to Damien. His brother's flush told him all he needed to know. Taking a deep breath he turned to the succubus at his side. "These are my brothers: Sam, Erik, Matthew, and Damien." He turned back to them. "This," he paused seeing their concern, but only for a second before pressing on. "This is my wi-" His voice caught on the word and he cleared his throat, trying again. "My _wife_ , Ezaeur." 

James wasn't expecting the silence that met his statement.

"A pleasure," the succubus purred, propping one hand on her hip as she took them all in. "I can see the family resemblance."

None of them answered her. James gave them a frown of disapproval before continuing. "We are going back home."

"As much as it sucks there, I'm ready to go back.” Sam nodded his agreement. “We're demons; let's go home."

"It was a delight," Erik admitted, meeting James' eyes. "You're sure about this?" he asked before he eyed Ezaeur. Attractive, proud, a Queen from the Lilith line; a perfect match for his brother. _They might even be happy._

"Yes." James nodded, his demeanor serious. "Ezaeur is correct. Even though I may not like it, I have a responsibility to the kingdom, and to my family."

"Then count me in. I was missing the parties." Erik shrugged one shoulder negligently, ignoring the succubus.

"I'm not going," Damien spoke up, interrupting Matthew before his older brother could speak.

"Damien," Matthew looked at him, surprised, but stepped back to let him have his say.

"I'm staying. She might need me." Damien didn’t have to say her name.

"Oh! Silly me, did I forget to mention it? Mika's forgotten you. All of you." Ezaeur shook her head at his foolishness.

The brothers froze, staring at her.

“You weren’t seriously going to leave her like that? There are rules,” Ezaeur chided them as if they were children. “Humans aren’t allowed to know about us,” she patiently explained. “So I wiped her memory.”

“What did you do?” Erik gave her a haughty glare.

“I erased her memory. All of it, since you met her. I couldn’t risk it. That is unless you want the angels to kill her,” Ezaeur mocked him.

“They wouldn’t!” Matthew tried to argue.

“They would,” Damien admitted, remembering Harold’s warning. “Unless one of us is there to protect her.”

“Listen, bastard son.” Ezaeur lost her patience. “It’s not worth it for you to stay. She’s forgotten all about you.” She only needed Raestrao, but it wouldn’t hurt to bring all the boys back.

"I understand she may have,” Damien turned from her to James, beseeching him. “But she still might find herself in trouble. She might need help. Harold risked himself for us."

Ezaeur gave a guilty start and Damien followed, turning to regard her. His eyes narrowed at the thoughts that filled his mind and he saw her fear as she realized he knew. _Harold died because of her._

"I'm staying here," Damien spoke it with a finality.

"Izroul..." James almost asked again when he saw the stubborn line of Damien's mouth.

"Let him stay." The succubus recognized the mind reader's silence as an offer and took it, putting a hand on Raestrao's shoulder. She hid her own relief that the bastard son kept his mouth closed.

"Then I'm staying, too," Matthew declared. "Just because she didn't choose one of us doesn't mean I can't make a place for myself here."

"Are you sure? Your mom's gonna be awfully pissed." Sam brought up the elephant in the room, as he usually did when Matthew was involved.

"I'm sure." The younger brother cringed. He couldn't remain a hostage to his mother's happiness forever. He tried to force the thought of how she would take the news from his mind. "I'm not a little kid. Tell her I love her and that I'm going my own way."

"Without Mika," Raestrao reminded him. "We gave our word."

"I won't approach her, I won't remind her," Matthew agreed. He'd refrained from trying to win her, for the most part, though the temptation had been awfully strong in the kitchen as she helped him with the cupcakes for her housewarming party. But they'd all agreed not to take advantage of her.

"You couldn't get her to remember, if you tried," Ezaeur sneered proudly. “Her time with you boys is over. Never to return."

James looked at his youngest brothers, his expression grim. He had made his choice, he couldn’t deny them theirs. He loved them too much. "All right. I trust your decision. Be happy and if you need us, summon us. We all saw how to open the portal and it will be easier for you from this side."

"Sure," Matthew agreed and Damien nodded.

They all hugged, each giving their goodbyes as the succubus watched them, smiling in triumph.

Damien glanced at her more than once, but he couldn't say anything outright. Raestrao had made up his mind and now he was leaving. "Raestrao, be careful. No one is ever as they seem." He wished he could find a better way to warn him, but there was no time. _He’ll do well,_ Damien was sure of it.

"You are what you seem, Izroul: kind and caring," Raestrao answered with a sad smile. “I understand why you are staying, but let her go.”

"There's plenty to choose from," Uzaeris chimed in, giving his brother a wink. “Take care, little brother.” His thoughts were warm and Damien gave him a weak smile as he heard them. _Don't worry, Aomaris and I will be there to help Raestrao._

"You will find someone, I know it." James gripped Damien’s shoulder, letting his brother hear all of his thoughts, his fears, but most of all his well wishes. "Learn and practice your reading." James reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet and handing the entire thing to his brother. "Take it. You'll need it." In it was all the information Harold had provided and access to what money they had left.

“Well, sorry to break the mood, but it’s time to go.” The succubus raised her arms, summoning a purple circle beneath the four of them. Sam and Erik stepped closer as James wrapped his arm possessively around her waist.

"Good-" Damien quickly called to them as they plummeted down and away, "Bye," he finished, the room empty where his brothers had once stood. Matthew and he stared at each other for a second, Matthew's mind as silent as his with the same shock he felt.

And just like that, they were separated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit  
> Land of All - Woodkid  
> https://youtu.be/ZaADPWRo


	6. Don't even think that you know me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Returns

"Do you still tend the flowers in the garden, Raestrao?" Uzaeris asked again.

"I tend over half of the Abyssal Plains." The Demon Lord glared at him. "There are more important things in the world than flowers; something you, as a ruler, should know. Or has Ezaeur's death condemned her kingdom?" He studied his brother, growing thoughtful.

Uzaeris recognized the danger. He had seen that look on their father’s face, many times. "You may kill me, brother, but my Kingdom will never bow to you." The words were out before he realized his mistake.

"Your Kingdom? _Yours?_ " Raestrao moved closer, his head high as he squared his shoulders to the challenge. "As if you knew how to run it. What ruin you bring upon us all! Her death must have been most fortunate for you; did you even mourn her?"

"Did you?" Uzaeris threw the question right back but he still felt its sting, making him drop his head for a moment.

"Enough!" Raestrao lunged for him again. Caught unaware, Uzaeris had no time to react, no time to summon his magic or powers. Raestrao held him by the throat once more, closing off his air. Rather than summon his weapon of choice, his other hand gripped one of Uzaeris' horns. He would not kill the incubus; he would break it off. A sign for all to see his strength and his brother's guilt; a sentence for the sins he'd committed, Lord or not. It was a tactic their father had used as a warning, a mark of shame the incubus deserved since his first betrayal.

Uzaeris stared up at him in surprise, struggling for air. His physical strength was no match for his brother's. _I was a fool to come._ One hand gripped Raestrao's arm, the other tugged at his brother's fingers on his throat. Loss of oxygen grayed his vision along with the pain. _Perhaps he will kill me after all._

 _I deserve it,_ a small part of him whispered.

Dimly, the incubus felt the wave approaching once more. Mika's power was stretching over the gap between worlds again to call him through his magic. _**No! Not now!** _ Uzaeris clenched his eyes shut, gritting his teeth as he heard the creak of his horn straining. Would it crack or his skull?

The wave hit.

Raestrao's eyes widened, his grip loosening as it crashed over them and he felt it for the first time, flooding him with energy along with his brother. The glory of it arced through them and Uzaeris clung to him as the pleasure mingled with the pain. Every nerve tingled and his body tensed as it closed over them, before slowly relaxing as it receded.

"Mika," Raestrao spoke her name, letting his brother's throat go. His eyes had gone golden and were boring into the incubus'. "What was that?"

Uzaeris pushed himself away, staggering back to get out of his reach. "Who, brother. The question is who and you've already answered it,” he rasped out. He ran a hand over his throat, casting some subtle healing.

"Explain," Raestrao growled. Bolstered with Mika's power, his command broke through his brother’s shields easily.

Uzaeris struggled against his brother's power but distracted, the fear gripped him. Intimidation finally bowed his head, forcing him to answer. "The gate, the one we took to her world; it's echoing, reappearing thirty years later."

Raestrao’s brows furrowed. "Zecaeru? Izroul? Are they returning?"

"No. It's Mika, herself." The incubus cursed his weakness, that he let his brother take him unaware. His shields were useless despite the energy he’d gained. Once in, he could not push Raestrao out of his head. _I’m sorry._  Mika may have saved his life just now, but at what cost?

"But… Ezaeur drained her. She is with Lewis, just another human." The older demon grew thoughtful, reviewing what he knew, what the succubus had told him decades before. “How is this possible?” He focused once more on his brother.

"She was just another human. I’m not sure what happened, but Andrew is no longer with her." Uzaeris spoke the words, betraying her as well.

"Show me." It was a deep growl, a command, and Raestrao would not take “no” for an answer.

Still, Uzaeris tried. "We gave our word, brother." _One last attempt._ The fear twisting in his gut was stronger than just Raestrao's power of intimidation.

"Show. Me." Uzaeris saw the flash of gold in the Demon Lord's eyes. The cold calculation, much deadlier than their father's rages, made Raestrao an even worse foe. He could be unpredictable and utterly ruthless when he deemed it necessary, without any guilt. He would not let him go until the incubus did as he was told.

Uzaeris moved back another step, seeing the corner of his brother's mouth curl with contempt. _I can try to fight him. Maybe I can summon my power before he breaks me. I can open the gate and run through…_ But that would only guarantee Raestrao would follow. _It‘s too late._ He was his brother's creature now. Sadly, the incubus greeted Mika’s magic again, bidding it reveal the gate once more. His brother watched intently.

It was obvious they'd both reacted to the human girl's energy the same way; it made Uzaeris even more nervous. Raestrao did not maintain their father's harem, did not keep pleasure slaves as far as he knew. He knew the older demon’s preferences when they were younger. Domination. It bordered on the sadistic pleasures of their father. Uzaeris never wanted to know if his brother followed in their father's footsteps in that sense. Until now.

The portal stretched and thinned, revealing Mika pulling the last of her clothes from her body. In that world, only a couple of minutes had passed since Uzaeris had closed the gate. Both incubi drew deep breaths seeing her, watching her slide between the sheets to lie in her bed. The fabric fell to hug the curves they now knew were there. Her long black hair pooled about her head and over the pillow.

Drawn into it, Raestrao moved into the room and looked about, just as his brother had before. He stopped at the edge of the bed, crouching down to study Mika's profile as Uzaeris watched from behind him. The incubus saw the Demon Lord's eyes flash, felt him trigger his own mage sight to see the power in the room spiraling out from the girl.

"Still untrained and stronger than before," Raestrao observed. Mika sighed in her sleep, rolling onto her side to face him. Eyes closed, tears still hung on her lashes. The delicate golden necklace Uzaeris had placed upon her slid over her collarbone, draping down and holding her in sleep. Raestrao turned to regard the incubus. "So this is why you've returned. The energy called you." His tone held disgust.

He turned back to watch Mika, remembering the innocent girl who had stepped forward to help him and his brothers in their time of need. Then, she had been filled with sweet dreams of romance that he and his brothers had felt, or the spice of her fear when her visions of Malix triggered. Now, even asleep, her emotions were still strong enough to sense; but it was bland and bitter sadness radiating from her sorrow.

Then, Raestrao had ordered Uzaeris to guard her dreams and Izroul, now Damien, to comfort her. Her energy was held in check. Starving, they'd all siphoned energy off of her from the moment she entered the foyer. _Aomaris,_ Raestrao clamped down on the emotion the name brought, _he took Mika’s first kiss and all the energy it entailed._ Uzaeris had also kissed her, Raestrao granting him her energy to recover; so the strongest and the most magically powerful of the brothers were able to defend them if the devils followed.

 _No one is taking Mika's energy now. Energy that shouldn't be here._ Wild, untrained, it was leeching into the spells of the house. Raestrao looked around at Harold’s wards. The strong shields on the balcony door and windows were still intact, even after all these years. _They are holding Mika’s energy in, for now, leaving it to find its own routes to drain._

 _She is sending it into the demon world. Sending it to seek us out._ Raestrao doubted she knew she was doing it. No magician would do so purposely, not without a focused spell. _She will be a powerful witch._ He bent down to look upon her closely once more.

Sorrow filled Mika's face, but it wasn't etched by it. The faint lines he saw were happy. _She was happy._ He reached forward and heard his brother once more.

"If you touch her, you'll be pulled through." It was an unnecessary warning. An irony, considering his brother had obviously been here before, either watching like this or already having stepped through to set that sleep spell. Still, Raestrao maintained his silence, holding his anger in. The girl's energy level showed that Uzaeris hadn't touched her, yet.

The thought led the older brother to consider it. He could feel her heat, smell her despite the faint male scent of the bed: Andrew's presence fading fast. Raestrao’s eyes flashed gold once more, his powers reaching for her.

"Mika." He breathed her name across their worlds, his power of command sending it through the gate to her. She stirred in her sleep, responding to him. Rolling onto her back, she arched her spine and rolled her hips in a stretch before settling once more. _She is no longer so innocent,_ Raestrao observed with a small smile. The sweetness of her body’s desire was like honey on his tongue and his own nature had him wanting. He heard Uzaeris shift behind him, reacting to her response as well.

The two incubi stood at the gate, considering the young woman in her bed, both of them hungry.

 

*

“I appreciate you handling all of this for us.” Jared looked across his desk at the young CTO of Anderson, Inc. He was grateful that Matthew had agreed to meet him in the office, despite it being the weekend. He was even more grateful that the young man was willing to take this burden in the first place.

“Of course.” Matthew looked uncomfortable as he ran a hand through his black hair. His bright blue eyes were focused on the floor, deep in thought, the folder with all the information he needed in his hands.

Jared could understand it. He was still in shock from his son’s death as well, holding his grief at bay while he worked out what needed to be done. He never thought he’d be having this conversation, always thought Andrew would be doing this for him, instead. But business had to continue as usual and there was no one better to handle it than the man sitting with him now.

“Of course,” Matthew repeated, nodding. “I’ll help, anyway I can.” Death wasn't a stranger to him, considering where he'd come from, but this was different. To him, it felt as if Andrew had only just left, only just laughed with him about the upcoming wedding. They had planned the coverage of the CEO’s duties for the following honeymoon. It was still hitting him that Andrew would never return.

“Matthew, Mika’s going to need to be brought on board, and quickly,” Jared warned him.

“Mika?“ Matthew’s eyes shot up, his nervous look surprising the other man. He hadn’t spoken to her in years, had purposely avoided her at the company gatherings. Last he'd seen her, she was beaming at the company Christmas party, Andrew’s engagement ring flashing on her finger. She had looked so happy, and he was happy for her.

 _You promised not to approach her, not to remind her._ Despite the succubus’ magic, he’d been careful; he’d kept his word. As far as Matthew could tell, Mika had forgotten him. She’d forgotten him and all of his brothers, much to Damien’s dismay. But now, he'd have to speak with her. He had no choice. He couldn't just leave her to handle this alone, could he?

“How is she taking it?” The young executive asked quietly.

“Not well. Her father… Well, you know David. He won’t let this sit for long.”

“Of course not.” Matthew’s mouth thinned in anger. It looked odd on him. He was almost always smiling or cracking a joke, much like Andrew used to. “He would consider this an opportunity, rather than the tragedy it is.” The young CTO shook his head. “She’s going to need protection.”

“Sadly, you’re right.” Jared sighed. David Anderson had never been known for his sensitivity, especially where his daughter was concerned. It was one of the points of contention Harold had with his son when he was alive. One of many. “I was hoping you would be there for her.”

Jared held his hand up as Matthew looked at him in surprise. “This will only be for a little while until she decides what she wants to do. But with everything I’m asking, I also don’t want to impose upon you. You have your own girl and I know Andrew was your friend, too.“

“I’ll do it.” Matthew accepted it immediately, knowing it was necessary. “But, ah, you should know,” his look turned a little sheepish, “Sarah and I just broke up.”

“Again?” Jared sat back in his chair. “What happened this time?”

“She decided she wanted to take a break.” The young man awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “Somewhere in between her demand that I grow up and her insistence that I put a ring on her finger.”

The Vice Chairman sighed, glad Andrew hadn't gone through such troubles, then flinched as he caught himself thinking of his son once again.

Matthew quickly stood, recognizing that he didn’t need to add to the older man’s worries. “Jared, my own problems aside, I owe Andrew and Mika, both. I’ll help her and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep Anderson going, for her and you.”

“I knew we could count on you.” Jared reached out and shook his hand, relieved. He waved Matthew out, knowing the young executive would begin working on it right away. They would meet with the lawyers in the morning and start the process, just as Andrew had wanted it.

*

Making his decision, Raestrao reached for the energy of the portal just as Uzaeris had done before him. He was neither as subtle nor as gentle. It had been a long time since he'd wielded demon magic, but as usual, he picked up the skill with a single observation.

“Leave us.” The Demon Lord rumbled his last command to his brother.

“Raestrao, you gave your word.” The incubus still struggled.

“I did and so did you. Yet your spell is wrapped around her throat. The enchantment that Ezaeur set is nowhere to be seen. The girl is drowning in energy she isn't even aware of and you would revel in taking it, wouldn't you? Glutting yourself, tainting her.”

“Don't tempt me, brother.” Uzaeris withdrew behind his mask, but not before Raestrao  saw the flash of guilt and intense hunger.

 _What have you been doing Uzaeris? What really happened to Andrew?_ Raestrao’s mouth thinned and he pulled himself up to his full height to look down on his younger brother with disdain. “You should be happy I am letting you go. Return to your kingdom.” His command drove through the other's resistance as if it were of no concern. “Return and pray I do not follow and take it from you.”

Uzaeris faltered for only a second, his mental strength impressive before he finally fell to the command. He summoned a circle, dropping through it as the Demon Lord watched. Releasing his breath, Raestrao pinched the bridge of his nose and counted, quenching his temper with the human trick before raising his head to the portal again. And the woman beyond it.

He had not broken his word, never broken it before, despite what others thought. _Until now._ He intentionally stepped through.

The human world wrapped about him and Raestrao instinctively summoned his glamour, the habit returning to him along with his human appearance. Trousers and a white Oxford, his tie felt restrictive about his neck and his sweater made him overly warm, almost immediately. The world shifted in his vision as he turned his head and he realized he was wearing his glasses once more.

Raestrao refused to let it distract him. Rather, he moved to the opposite side of the bed, his tall frame bending to sit beside Mika and consider her, without his brother's presence.

“What happened to you?“ He murmured, one hand reaching to gently stroke her cheek. Mika’s soft, smooth skin triggered his hunger again and Raestrao pushed it away, smothering it beneath the discipline that was now second nature to him. “We have all changed, so much.”

Reaching up, he pulled his glasses off and looked at them. They gave a flash of golden light in his hands as he infused them with more magic. Carefully, Raestrao slid them onto Mika's face, setting them comfortably on her nose and ears. They looked like they belonged there and he reached to brush her hair back from them, twining a lock about his finger.

“What happened to Andrew? Why isn't he taking care of you?” he asked again, aloud.

“Andrew,” The name passed her lips with her breath as she slept, her brow wrinkling. Fresh tears ran from her closed eyes as the magic triggered her memories. Raestrao caught one with his fingertip, brushing it away as he caressed her cheek. Mika sighed, leaning into his touch, her eyes wavering behind their lids as she dreamed, his magic coercing her to remember.

Raestrao remained beside her, watching and waiting. When his spell finished, he gently removed his glasses from her, placing them back on his own nose. The memory played out for him in vivid detail as if he were there in Mika's place, seeing it all through her eyes. He grimly stopped it as she knelt in the dirt, watching the paramedics take Andrew's body away.

“I'm alone.” The words escaped Mika in her sleep and Raestrao froze. It was a phrase he was intimate with, summarizing how he had felt for the past two decades. Even after so much time, they still connected.

“You are not.“ He whispered, leaning back over her. “You are not alone.“

“Who are you?“ She murmured, the words slurred. She was unable to open her eyes, unable to wake from the spell Uzaeris had set.

“James.” Raestrao took his human name back and gave it to her once more.

“James… I knew a James once.” He wasn't expecting the warmth that welcomed his name, the desire that stirred within her. It struck him, triggering his hunger once more, threatening to overcome him.

 _I can't leave her like this._ The energy would keep building, finding uncontrolled paths, attracting others to her. Others such as Uzaeris. He couldn't leave her. And he didn't want to.

James moved back off the bed, dismissing his clothes and glasses, reaching for the sheets himself as he let her scent fill his nose. Her energy welcomed him in invitation and he tasted it, sliding into Mika's bed and moving over her to look down upon her. Her body was soft beneath his. She arched up in reflex to his presence, a human reaction to his powers as an incubus, even wrapped in her dreams.

"I won't go too far." He told her and himself. He would only take enough to make her safe once more. Even in sleep, he could bring her pleasure.

“Mika,” his voice was a purr in her ear, “I am James and I have returned. I've returned for you.” His mouth came down on hers, drinking her energy as he bathed her body in gold. Faintly, he felt her arms lifting to circle his waist, pulling him down against her.

It was all the permission he needed.

James ran his hands over Mika as he kissed her. Taking in the feel of her, the curves of her body for the first time. His golden enthrallment flowed through her, warming and lifting her, even as Uzaeris' sleep spell weighed her down. Her breast filled his hand, nipple brushing his palm as it tightened into a bud and he smiled before exploring lower.

Smooth skin, soft curls, heat; with a gentle probe he unerringly brushed her most sensitive spot. She arched beneath him to rub against him, gasping and giving a faint murmur. Was it Andrew's name? James couldn't tell, but if it comforted her, he hoped it was; until he could bring her to call his.

Raestrao had partners, though only a handful knew beyond himself and them. They were discreet, chosen to meet his needs. He would grant them no other power. They were not friends. They were not lovers. They were his subjects, with the right skills at the right times to provide him with energy and release. And they knew it.

He'd heard rumors of Uzaeris. How his red-headed brother could take on any role, any challenge. The incubus could fulfill any desire or method of bed play, but the other demons of Raestrao's court could not. It took time to find the right bedmates. To establish and maintain ultimate discretion before training them and bending them. He'd enjoyed every minute of it.

 _Xara._ Her eyes always held a challenge, orange with fierce delight over the gag. She would shriek and bite otherwise, making him laugh, fighting him only to break over and over again. To render her to begging had its pleasantness and often it got him through the worst of Council days.

 _Merel._ Her doe eyes were gentle. She would gasp and whisper and whimper, breathless in his presence. She held onto the appearance of an innocent that he took his time with, slowly using and manipulating her into flushed embarrassment and spread-legged wantonness when it took his fancy.

 _And Bryce._ The steward never spoke when they were together. He tried to make no sound at all. Tried. The redhead knew his tears and cries were what Raestrao sought the most, along with his energy. His absolute submission to pain was interwoven with the deepest ecstasy the incubus could provide. An arrangement the Steward, himself, had asked for and taught. And as with all things, Raestrao was a quick study.

Bryce took Raestrao at his darkest, answering a need they both had. The young Demon Lord had left scars a few times before he fully learned control. Their sessions were theirs and theirs alone; away from Raestrao's bedroom and the rest of the castle. Never spoken of, no words ever accompanied them after the first time Bryce asked for it, offering himself. He always seemed to know when Raestrao needed him, only appearing to see the look in his Demon Lord's eyes and then going to prepare for him.

Mika's tears, they teased Raestrao's darkness even as he sympathized with her loss. He leaned down to taste the salt on her lashes, spreading her legs wide with his own. Her energy tingled on his skin, her hands brushing lower down his back, her heels digging into the mattress as he rubbed up against her.

He nudged and had to adjust his size smaller, his body shaking as he forced it to hold back. He wouldn't wait for her to accommodate him, it was time. He wanted to be in her and her desire already had her body dripping for him. With a deep exhale, he thrust and Mika gasped, her hips lifting to take him in a practiced way that had him moaning.

James clenched his eyes, his jaw, as he memorized the feel of being inside her. He was under the wave, floating in the currents of her energy and he arched back as he withdrew before thrusting back in. Reverently, he gripped her shoulders, bowing his head to kiss the top of hers as he stretched out over her, buried within her.

 _My Queen._ She didn't know it yet but with her body at his mercy, her pleasure filling his senses, her energy flooding him with more power than he'd ever known before, she became the center of his world as no other ever had. James would do anything and everything necessary to return to this moment again and again.

Then his body was moving, the pace primal as he pumped, feeling her body clench and her hands gripping him, her legs spreading. His hand was gripping her breast, squeezing, and he felt her rocking beneath him to meet his thrusts. Her knees lifted and he reached down to push them further apart and spread her wide, to go even deeper. He leaned down, bending his back to bite her shoulder. James paused with her flesh pinched between his teeth. He couldn't mark her. _She'll notice. No questions, not yet. I won't go too far._ Letting her go, he moved to safer pleasures.

Mika’s body sang for him, her energy filling all the dark spaces of his emptiness. Her body took every inch as she gasped and bucked beneath him. She was asleep, but it wasn't. Nerves on fire, stretching to accommodate him, her pleasure was building, her energy a vortex swirling around them.

James knelt back, pulling one of her legs up to rest her heel on his shoulder, pushing the other aside to reach down and stroke and press, working her up tighter as he felt his own body quickening. All the while, he was feasting on her energy, her name a chant with his thrusts as he pushed her to the edge.

"Mika!" He growled her name and felt her body snap and grip him, shudders and quivers answering him as she cried out. James let go, flooding her as she panted, shivering with reaction beneath him. She dropped limp onto the bed and James pulled back, fighting to catch his breath. He looked down on her with wonder as his body revved with energy. Covered in a sheen of sweat, her head tossed to one side; her hair was strewn over her face and across the pillow. Mika slept, oblivious, boneless, and satisfied.

A tender smile curved James’ lips and he stood. He would clean them up and take care of her tonight. Tomorrow, the real challenge would begin. Plans were building in the back of his mind, he could hear the whispers of those thoughts, but time was limited. He would contact his kingdom, notifying them that he would not return.

He would not return without his new Queen on his arm. But first, he had to win her in this world.

Shoving the thoughts away, he bent down and touched his tongue to Mika’s skin, lapping at her breast to hear her murmur again. In her sleep, she reached for him, wanting more.

 _So do I,_ he thought as he climbed back into her bed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit:  
> The way back - ONE OK ROCK  
> https://youtu.be/q2dFMNPA9jQ


	7. I don't like my mind right now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika isn't the only one hurting.

Curled on her side, Mika woke slowly. She felt heavy and lethargic, weighed down with a pleasant euphoria she recognized. Andrew had surprised her in the middle of the night, as he sometimes did. She’d had trouble waking up for him. _Not that that stopped him,_ she smiled to herself. _He was rather determined._

She couldn’t before, but she finally managed to get her eyes open now. The light in their bedroom was brighter than she would expect, the day already underway. Andrew was no longer spooning her, his body no longer curled protectively about her. He must have rolled over. She reached back for him. She could sense him pulling away before she could touch him; his weight moved off of the bed. Her fingers brushed between the sheets, the bed still warm. With a hum, she rolled over.

And sat straight up.

The bed was made beside her; the blanket and pillow pristinely placed. The door was closed, the room empty except for her. Mika slid her hand beneath the sheets once more, her heart racing. _Cold._ She was alone. She fought the sorrow along with the wave of panic gripping her. _I felt him! I felt him holding me._ She would swear it on a hundred bibles. _We…_ Her flush was bright.

 _A dream?!_ It wouldn’t have been the first. She didn’t often have such dreams, but the intensity... She couldn't gather enough of the wisps in her mind, the thoughts fleeing with the arrival of her anxiety. She had no room left for them when reality claimed its space. She couldn’t remember the dream, only the feeling, only that he was here with her. Mika clenched her eyes shut and pushed back the tears. Even her own body wouldn't let her be. Instead, it was playing these tricks, these games.

 _Enough is enough. You have to take care of yourself._ She made herself get out of bed, made herself look around and gather some clothes, made herself focus on the act of breathing. _Just breathe. That is your task for today._

**_Just keep breathing._ **

*

_Three in, two out._

Mika focused on her breathing as she ran: inhaling for three strides, exhaling for two; three steps in, two steps out. Sweat ran down her back, under the band of her sports bra and soaking into her t-shirt; her shorts were already damp. Her shoes gripped the concrete sidewalk, her legs stretching and propelling her as she approached the second lap of her run. It felt good to be doing something, especially out of the mansion; but as always, the run became automatic and her thoughts started churning.

_Andrew was there. I felt him._

Mika couldn’t shake it, couldn’t let it go. What little of the morning she’d had, she’d spent trying to get back into a semblance of order. Everything took twice as long to do. She was on edge, every little noise making her freeze, every movement in the corner of her eye making her jump.  _He couldn't have been there. You don't believe in...What? Ghosts?_

 **You did it, Dr. Anderson. I had to come.** It stuck like a pin in her heart. She wished it was real. She wished he was with her. Even the thought of a ghost held some comfort. _But ghosts don’t exist._

The beeping of a truck backing up alerted her and Mika automatically adjusted her path to the opposite sidewalk to stay out of its way. One of her neighbors from across the street was moving. The movers hauled the boxes out onto the lawn as an empty truck backed up the drive. The new owner watched them from the porch, his arms folded as he waited. She ignored all of their glances as she ran by.

 _Hallucinations._ Mika bit her lip as her emotions ran high again. Damn pills. She'd looked up the warnings and side effects for that particular prescription as she ate lunch. _Headaches, nausea, lethargy; who wouldn't have all of those under emotional distress?_ Nothing said hallucinatory, but it did warn about rare occasions of nightmares and sleepwalking.

 _Close enough._ She should have paid more attention to the meds, rather than just taking them. With all she was going through, she didn't need this on top of it.

 _You're not going crazy_ , she reminded herself once more. _You're not. You're just..._

 _In mourning? Crushed? Alone? Will I forget all of this, too?_ she wondered. The amnesia following her grandfather’s death was almost welcome.

"Stop it. Don’t be an idiot." Mika spoke the words out loud, frustrated with herself. Y _ou’ve been stressed before. Vet school wasn't a cake and you didn't let it overwhelm you. This is just another challenge. Just another loss to push yourself past and keep going._

 _Andrew…_ Her heart cried while her mind tried to cope.

 **Keep going.** She grit her teeth, forcing the thoughts away once more. Three. Two. Inhale, exhale. Three. Two.

At this rate, she'd run a marathon.

*

Two in, two out.

Mika saw the mansion on the other side of the street once more. Her body burned as she jogged, no longer able to keep her runner's pace. She wasn't stupid. She'd kept hydrated, been cognizant enough to carry water and her energy gels, even paused at K's cafe long enough to choke down some fruit and use the bathroom.

She just couldn't stop. _Stopping means going back in that house. Back with all of his things. Back into our bed, without him._

It was getting late. She had to stop running, at least. She was going to pay for it: the muscle cramps, the aches, that hangover feeling of pushing yourself way too hard and way too far. All of it was waiting for her. Mika dropped to a walk, feeling the tension start to build as her body slowed, the muscles starting to scream as they realized she was finally acknowledging them again. She paused, one hand against a tree, and caught her breath, grabbing a foot to stretch her quad.

"Are you alright?" The deep masculine voice ran down her back. Mika looked over her shoulder, surprised to see the man from earlier, her new neighbor. He was sitting in a wicker chair on his front porch, a glass of ice tea on the table beside him. She'd stopped right in front of his house, not realizing he was there. He unfolded his long legs, setting a book down by his tea, before standing and walking to the top of the porch steps.

"I'm fine," She called, dropping her foot and grabbing the other before that leg could spasm. "Just going for a run."

"You have been running all afternoon," he observed, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "Perhaps it's time for a break?"

"No. No, that's quite alright." _He’s been watching me?_   She dropped her foot back down, feeling uncomfortable.

He quickly held his hands up in surrender, concerned. "Please, that did not sound as I intended. I just want to make sure you are all right," he explained, one hand resting on the porch railing. Mika noticed the flowers, freshly planted in a narrow bed in front of the house. _They weren’t there this morning. His first day in his new home and he already planted flowers?_ The thought touched her.

"I..." Mika studied him. The light was reflecting off his glasses, making his eyes difficult to see, but his voice? "Do I know you?"

"We may have met, years ago. I've only recently returned to the neighborhood.”

"Me, too," she admitted. _How do I know him?_ She couldn’t remember. "I’ve been away at school. We must have met..." _School? A past neighbor?_ He was older than her. She considered him a moment longer but was hesitant to ask any more questions.

"My name is James, James Anderson."

"Anderson." Mika smiled at the name, making him pause. "Sorry," She shook her head and walked to the base of the steps. "I'm Mika. I'd offer a handshake, but…" She indicated her sweaty state.

"I appreciate the thought, Miss-?" He smiled in good humor.

"Anderson." She chuckled as she finished it for him.

"That explains it." He tilted his head. "I did not mean to disturb you. I was just going to make some dinner. Would you care to join me? Say, in half an hour? I’m not used to being alone."

 _Alone?_ The word sobered her. She didn’t want to be alone either but he was a stranger. "No, thank you, James.” She shook her head, trying to force a smile.

“I make a rather delicious pesto.” He tempted her. “Perhaps next time?”

“Pesto?” Her smile finally broke through. She couldn’t cook to save her life. “Perhaps.”

“Until next time then, Miss Anderson.”

“Enjoy." She gave a nod. He was polite and in one word: debonair. It wasn’t where she wanted her mind to be. She backed up, putting distance between them once more before turning away.

"Have a pleasant evening, Mika." James answered softly, watching her go, his eyes intense as his own smile deepened.

Mika quickly crossed the street; she made it to her driveway when she saw Andrew's car was parked in front of the garage. Anxiety twisted in her gut again as she approached. No one was in it. Andrew’s sunglasses were still in the clip on the driver's side visor, a package of chewing gum sitting in the cup holder. One of his blazers, his Anderson Toys ID tag still clipped to it, lay across the back seat. Mika saw the name, Ace Lewis, with a cheesy photo of Andrew standing with his chin up into the wind in place of the standard employee photo. Her lips curved in a smile even as the tears rushed up once more.

_Damn it._

"Hey, Anderson!" A car pulled in behind Andrew’s and Mika turned to see her best friends, Suzu and Naomi. The short, dark Italian threw her car into park and dashed out to meet her.

"Are you alright?" Naomi stepped from the passenger side, the blonde closing her door and approaching Mika while Suzu tackled her in a bear hug.

"Of course she isn't!" Suzu snapped, squeezing hard enough to make Mika gasp.

"We tried to call, but you weren't answering." Naomi apologized. She paused, giving her best friend a closer look.

"I'm sorry, I went out and time got away from me." Mika stopped herself, refusing to let her anxiety show. She wouldn’t dump it all in her best friends’ laps.

"Mika, how long have you been running?" Naomi's voice changed. Still in med school, she’d already mastered the attitude of a doctor.

"A while," Suzu commented as she stepped back. "You're pretty ripe."

"Let's get you inside, you should have some electrolytes." Naomi looked at the short Italian with a meaningful glance.

"Yeah, come on. You shower, I'll order us a deep dish." Suzu smiled as Naomi rolled her eyes. The tall blonde sighed, ushering them into the house.

Mika paused at the threshold, seeing the car keys and an envelope on the floor where they had dropped through the mail slot. A delivery service had returned Andrew’s car, making her feel foolish once more.

_Ghosts? Yeah, right._

_*_

"You should take them tonight." Naomi put the pill bottle down on the bathroom counter beside her. 

"No." Mika shook her head, then sighed as she sank into the hot bath, soaking the cramps out of her legs, the bubbles a fragrant lavender scent.

"Don't you think you're going to need them tomorrow?"

"What about tomorrow?" Mika looked up to see Naomi's worried expression deepen.

"Pizza's on its way! Magic Mike one, two, and three are queued on Prime." Suzu rubbed her hands together as she stepped into the bathroom with them. She stopped, seeing the tension in the room.

"Mika, tomorrow," Naomi stressed.

"Hey, if she doesn't want to talk about it," Suzu warned.

"Talk about what? What about tomorrow?" Mika looked between the two of them, tired and frustrated. Naomi was diagnosing every little thing about her and Suzu was acting like nothing had even happened. The very idea of food made her feel sick as she ran her fingers through her wet hair.

"You're going to need the pills." Naomi frowned. "You should take some tonight, too. They’ll help you sleep."

"What about tomorrow?!" Mika snapped, her anger rearing as her patience snapped. Both girls stared at her, wide eyed.

"It's the funeral," Suzu answered, her tone flat. She blinked hard, her mouth turning into a sour grimace. "Andrew's funeral. You know, your fiance."

Mika stared back at them, her mind blank in shock at the words. She didn’t know.

"It's why we're here." Naomi fought her own tears. "To make sure you'll be okay."

"We can stay the night," Suzu offered. "We can make it a slumber party." Naomi glared at her and she shrugged.

"A party?" Mika stared down at the bubbles. _The funeral._ She really hadn't thought about it. In truth, she refused to answer her phone. She had cleared all of the notifications of the texts and emails of sympathy. She couldn’t face them, so she hadn’t. She'd done it without even thinking, without reading them, before she turned her phone off and dropped it back into her purse to go running.

"She didn't mean it like that." Naomi tried to back pedal.

"Yeah, it's not like we'd celebrate," Suzu snapped.

"You're only making it worse." Naomi sniffed at the Italian

"No." Mika stood up, reaching for a towel. "Nothing can make this worse." She pulled on a terry cloth robe and snatched the pill bottle off the counter, carrying it with her into the bedroom to drop down on the edge of their bed.

"Hey!" Suzu followed her, Naomi close behind.

"We're sorry," The blond called after her.

"So am I." Mika set the bottle on the bedside table and looked back at them. "I'm not hungry. I, I don't want any visitors right now."

"We're not visitors," Suzu snapped, “And I’m not sorry.” Naomi grabbed her shoulder, trying to hold her back.

"We understand," Naomi interceded. "It's a hard time for you."

"If you think we're leaving-" Suzu tried again.

"I appreciate you coming." Mika hung her head. "And I know you want to help, but I need some time."

"Need some time? Need some time?!” Suzu shook Naomi’s hand off and stalked up to Mika, hands on her hips. “You ditch everyone, hole up in this house, run yourself into exhaustion, forget your own fiance's funeral?? You need more than time, you need help!" Suzu's anger broke free. “How could you forget his funeral? You of all people should be there for him!”

"Suzu, let's not fight." Naomi tried but she was too far gone.

"Oh that’s right, you haven’t been here for him, he was there for you! And now he’s dead. He was our friend, too, you know! This whole time, you've been gone." Suzu folded her arms and cocked her hip. "And we still hung out with him. While you were off at school, we were here for him."

"What are you saying?!" Mika turned her head, her eyes narrowing. Her own temper rose, it had to, to cover the guilt.

"Just that I've spent more time with him than you have and you don't see me being so pathetic." It was sharper than the slap Suzu was itching to give her.

"You spent more time with him?" Mika couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

"Friends, Mika. We were all friends!" Naomi was starting to panic as she saw Mika stand and the two face off.

"What, you think he was cheating?!" Suzu gave a snort. "As if I'd hide it like that."

"I don't know what to think." Mika glared down at her friend. "Is this some kind of competition? Who loved him more?"

"Mika, you're obviously upset. You're not yourself." Naomi stepped between them. “Suzu, stop baiting her!”

"Great epitaph: 'cheats with best friends.' Forget it! You want to ditch us again? Fine. I'm out of here." Suzu turned away. "See you when they plant his box."

Both girls were shocked as their friend stormed out. "Suzu!" Naomi called after her. She turned back, trying to think of an excuse, anything to make up for the other girl’s behavior.

"Go with her, Naomi." The two girls were more than friends, though Suzu had the occasional boyfriend. If anyone could calm the Italian down, it was Naomi.

"Are you going to be-?" The blond still hesitated, torn between the two.

"I'll be all right."

"Your mother said they'd send a car," Naomi admitted. It was what Mika suspected. The two were worried about her, but they were also sent to check on her, to make sure she attended the funeral properly. They both heard the front door slam as Suzu left the house. Naomi looked at Mika uncertainly.

“Go catch her. I’ll see you tomorrow."

"I'm sorry!" Naomi ran out the door.

"It's not your fault," Mika spoke to the empty room, her anger collapsing to leave her hollow once more.

 _I forgot the funeral._ Mika rubbed her eyes as she dropped back down on their bed. _What else will I forget??_ There were still bits of her world falling apart. She wondered how much would remain when it was all over.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit  
> Heavy - Linkin Park  
> https://youtu.be/5dmQ3QWpy1Q


	8. I won't trust myself once I hear your call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uzaeris' choice

Uzaeris walked through his throne room, the dancers making way as they spun about him, the handsome courtiers and beautiful courtesans bowing to him in their elegant clothes. The crystal prisms of the chandeliers sprinkled light throughout the room, dangling in the gold filigree around the candles. Mirrors along the walls made the room feel even bigger, at least that was what he had been told. To Uzaeris, they gave him nowhere to run, nowhere to hide from his own haunted eyes.

He could still feel it, even now, leagues away. Her magic was calling, beckoning him. A feeling on the very edge of his perception. He strode down the plush red carpet of the halls, flashing his sultry smile and not seeing anyone he passed, only knowing they accepted his greetings with their own fake regards.

Uzaeris dismissed his guards, entering his private suite. Luxurious fabrics, soft lighting, plush furnishings, and decadent delicacies lined the walls. The Kingdom of Lilith was a land of art, wealth, and delights. Wine flowed freely, food was plentiful, and the peerage unmatched in hospitality. Three girls of his choosing awaited him for his bed, skilled in every pleasure he desired and ripe with energy. He had only to ring the bell and they would come and come and come.

It all disgusted him. It was Lilith’s Kingdom, but her bloodline was dead. He wasn’t a full-blooded incubus, not with his brute father, but his mother had been and she had taught him in the ways of Lilith. His education had been most thorough. Still, he felt every bit the interloper. There was no Queen; no one to serve. It was so ingrained in him and yet repulsed him so.

Uzaeris reached for a crystal glass, but poured himself water rather than wine. He no longer trusted himself to drink. He would lose himself in flesh, first, before letting alcohol claim his mind. It reminded him too much of the days after their return from the human world.

They should have known they’d be separated from Raestrao. His father would never risk the Heir running again. His mother separated him from Aomaris, too, saying her son needed further education, and so he was left to her. With only the memories of his brothers and his dream of Mika for solace, he soon lost himself to drink. He even fought her for a little while, until he learned his mother arranged to have him broken. It was a sobering realization.

Instead, he went on his own terms. If he was going to be a whore, he'd be the most desired in the kingdom. He threw himself into the world of flesh, let the sex consume him as he consumed it, a civilized beast. But he wouldn't go to his knees, not ever again.

And he stayed. Buried in his thoughts, reliving the memories a thousand times; he dreamed a lifetime with one who had forgotten him, who would never be his. No matter whose body moved beneath him, Uzaeris wasn't with them. He was with Mika. Where she smiled and laughed, and hugged him tenderly. Where green, innocent eyes shined for him and blushes still meant something. He gave his heart away to her a thousand times. And the lovers in his bed never knew.

Mika was the only one he wanted. If he had the chance, he knew he would take her: in the gazebo with the scent of the flowers around them; on the table in the middle of the foyer of her home to hear the echoes of her pleasure resounding in the room; even in the broad, soft bed Raestrao had her in the night before.

It had taken hours to break his brother’s command. He’d been beside himself, wondering what the Demon Lord was doing. He wouldn’t put it past Raestrao to just take her, pulling her into the Abyssal Plains for himself. Her energy would give him power beyond any he’d had before. With it, for the first time, he’d broken Uzaeris’s shields. Instead, he returned to find James taking her energy and his pleasure of her, right there in her and Andrew’s bed. Even as she mourned her fiance’s death! It was deplorable. And even worse, exactly what he would have done.

And what he wanted to do tonight.

Uzaeris snatched up an ornate music box from the table beside him and threw it against the far wall, hitting another of the castle’s large mirrors and shattering it, revealing the dark and dirty surface beneath it. Turning away, he dropped down into one of the plush chairs of his bedroom. An ornate golden bud vase held a single flower on the table before him. It was a daisy he had managed to steal from Mika’s bedroom when Raestrao wasn’t looking. It was pristine and would remain so for a long time, aging at the rate of its home world, maintained by his magic. It gave him the link he needed to connect to her world, letting him scry for her.

It had been almost five days for Uzaeris in the demon world but only one in the human world.  _Will_ _Raestrao be there again tonight?_ he wondered even as he waved a hand over the vase. An image of Mika’s room appeared and grew to provide him a clear view.

*

**Take one to two tablets to ease symptoms. Take with food. Follow your doctor’s instruction while taking this medication.**

_May cause dreams and nightmares,_ Mika thought. _May ruin friendships. May bring back the dead._

  
She held the open bottle, pouring them out and counting the pills within. Twenty-seven. How was there an odd number? She’d only taken two yesterday, hadn’t she? The bottle’s label said thirty two. They’d miscounted? 

The things she saw yesterday were only flashes but they felt significant. She couldn’t recall the details but she’d heard things, even smelled things. If she took the pills, would she wake up with Andrew again? Would she see him calling her beautiful again? Would she feel him with her again?

_Don’t take them._

It had been so hard to wake. Her rational mind, the part of her that understood medicine and pharmacology, told her this was where addiction came from. The false senses that weird compounds created, affecting your neural and hormonal pathways: false pleasures or feelings of control or numbness.

Her heart wanted her mind to shut the fuck up and take another pill.

 **Don’t.** The thought came, decisive. **You’re alone, you can’t afford to be trapped unconscious.**

Mika’s eyes widened, her heart starting to pound. She hadn’t thought of it before. If someone broke in, she would be at their mercy. The mansion had an alarm, but that didn’t mean she was safe. To many odd things were happening. The obituaries were posted in the paper and Andrew’s was a high profile one. Thieves might think his home was empty. Or worse, think she was here alone.

Mika quickly twisted the cap back on and threw the bottle across the room. She didn’t need it’s temptation. She didn’t want it, not really.

She strode into the closet, throwing on her pajamas before wrapping her robe back around her once again. Her legs still ached and they would be worse tomorrow.

_Everything will be worse tomorrow._

Pacing the room, Mika still couldn’t shake the fear that someone might try to break in. She almost felt as if she were being watched. _The dining room. They would come in through the dining room window. Is it locked?_ She had to check, had to stop them.

She opened the bedroom door to hear a loud crack, lightning flashing through the window at the end of the hall, filling the foyer with eerie shadows for a second. Mika hurried to the stairs as the rumble of thunder followed, the hammering of rain hitting the windows suddenly filling the house with sound. Looking down over the railing, lightning flashed again, revealing the room to her.

Blood, smeared across the floor. Bodies, curled and sprawled. Unknown men, five of them, were lying on the marble tiles. Mika stumbled, almost falling down the last few steps. Her bare feet landed to find the floor warm and sticky. The lightning flashed, illuminating the bodies once more. She tried not to look, the roar of the thunder almost immediately after. A gust of wind struck the house with a wall of rain and the front doors flew open with a bang. Mika screamed at the top of her lungs as her body spun to face them, crouching in defense, her arms curling in against her chest.

A terrifying, shrieking laugh rushed in with the rain over the threshold. Yellow eyes, dark red skin, sharp teeth gleaming. A taloned hard reached for her as the devils stood on her doorstep. Guns aimed, knives gleaming. The lightning cracked again, this time with the flash of a muzzle.

Mika’s eyes widened as the world warped around her. She saw the bullet slow in the air, a hand picking it up right out of its path, before time resumed it’s normal flow and it was tossed aside.

A muscular man with a shock of brown hair spun to face her, filling her vision, his green eyes flashing to gold. “You’re going to kiss me,” he commanded with a growl and Mika found herself swept into strong arms. Held tight against him, she felt a part of her draining, pulling away into him as his mouth pressed against hers.

**“Miss, are you alright?!”**

Mika startled, blinking around her. The lights were on in the foyer, the chandelier bright above her. The front doors were wide open to the night, the storm pouring its rain in and over the tiles. She was soaked, trembling as she stood at the threshold, eyes wide and pupils dilated with fear.

“Are you alright?” James stood on the steps outside, staring up at her, worried. His shirt was soaked through, hair plastered to his head, beads of rain streaming down his glasses. Behind him, across the street she could see his porch light on, his own door wide open.

“James?” Mika tried to focus on him, her body shivering as she realized she was chilled to the bone.

“I heard you scream. May I come in?” He slowly moved up the steps, watching her cautiously. His voice sounded different in the rain, his eyes, they didn’t seem quite right behind the reflection of his glasses.

“I…” Mika’s voice faltered. He was getting soaked, just as she was. She quickly looked back over her shoulder at the grandfather clock to find it was eleven at night. She’d lost two hours somewhere. _Two more hours that I can't remember..._

“James.” She repeated his name, turning back to him as he took the final steps to cross into the house, pulling the doors closed behind him. A flash of static filled her mind, bodies on the floor. _One was… James?_ Mika’s eyes widened for a second in horror before rolling up into her head, her body going limp as she dropped in a faint.

James just managed to catch her.

*

Uzaeris turned back to his scrying to see Mika alone, thankfully alone. Until he saw the bottle in her hands, the sorrow on her face. Sorrow that reflected another time, another place.

Sorrow that pulled him into a memory. 

“He stood there. He just stood there and watched.” Ezaeur’s sob broke through before she could choke it down. Uzaeris stared at her in disbelief. He couldn’t let this happen, he couldn’t let anyone see.

“My Queen, perhaps we should move somewhere a little more discreet?” He made the request, filling it with innuendo. They were in plain sight, in the middle of the throne room. His father wasn’t in attendance and neither was Raestrao, both likely at their war table, but there were still plenty of eyes watching and tongues that would wag. Plenty who would take advantage. Uzaeris reached up and brushed his fingers over Ezaeur’s cheeks, clearing away the evidence of her tears with what appeared a lover’s caress.

“My Queen, let me attend to you. I would please you.” He crooned, sliding a hand down her back. His other hand slid up Ezaeur’s waist, his thumb brushing the underside of her heavy breast, near her heart. “I’m sorry.” The words came out under his breath as he dropped his head in submission, waiting for her acceptance or rejection.

Her eyes flashed in anger, intense hatred, before the realization struck. They were not what anyone would call friends; but they were not enemies, either. Uzaeris had always considered them victims of circumstance and he was offering her an out, for the evening. At the cost of Raestrao’s wrath.

“Will you?” Ezaeur snapped, her false smile turning cruel. She shoved him backwards, dropping him to his knees.

Uzaeris ignored the pain, the bruising from the impact on the cold stone, and bowed his head. He could hear the murmurs around them. He had not gone to his knees for a woman in public in decades. Not since his return from the human world. Instead he had returned with a dominance rivaling Raestrao’s, an aloof sexual arrogance that made him the most desirable of the entire court, especially when he filled the halls at night with cries of pleasure from his partners.

“Yes, my Queen. I live for you. I would die from just one look if you so desired.” His head remained bowed, his hair covering his eyes, a sly smile upon his lips.

Ezaeur peered between his legs, one foot moving to step on his thigh, pinning him down as she leaned over.

None could see Uzaeris had his eyes closed. He knelt and thought of the one woman, the only one he wanted for a Queen. His body responded from the thought of a kiss, from the flutter of a heartbeat, from innocence and acceptance in another time, another place. The one woman he truly wanted to please, of all he’d met.

Ezaeur gave a small smile as the court’s master seducer, the one demon she would truly consider an incubus of the Lilith line, stood at attention for her.

“You’re presuming much.” She lifted her foot and kicked him in the shoulder. Uzaeris arched back, flexible and lithe, spreading his knees and folding his arms behind his back in a complete position of submission. Hers to take or scorn. The whispers scattered around them like leaves in the wind, a flood of sexual energy in the air just from this small demonstration by the naked succubus and incubus.

Ezaeur walked around him in a circle, Uzaeris’ eyes still closed beneath the curtain of his hair. His breathing came in small gasps, rocking his body ever so slightly, a beg for her touch as he held his head up from the floor. It was attractive, alluring. At any other time she might have considered it; but he was missing a scar, his ears weren’t pointed, his hair was the wrong color. He wasn’t Saero. The very thought was an insult to the memory.

But it was an out from the prying eyes, the leers, the gossip mongers. Instead, Uzaeris was feeding them a new story, one of much higher quality.

“You have the attention of your Queen, demon.” She finally announced.

Uzaeris pulled himself back up in one smooth motion, moving into position at her right hand. It was the place where Raestrao never walked, forcing her to stand at his right, asserting his power over the Queen and maintaining the Lord’s and Heir’s dominance over her. But raised to respect the matriarchy, Uzaeris held Ezaeur above him, despite being second to the Demon Lord’s throne.

“Then come with me, my Queen.” He offered his arm. “And I will address your needs as long as you wish.”

Ezaeur did cry out in his bedroom. She screamed and cried, the tears flowing freely as she paced until she dropped, finally letting Uzaeris just hold her, finally letting the words out.

 _Saero._ Saero her guard, the love she admitted now, was dead.

The Demon Lord had always shown an interest in her, despite her being his son’s wife. Few knew how tenuous the bond between Raestrao and Ezaeur truly was. Indeed, it was not a bond at all. But the Demon Lord knew and with the stress of the rebellion forming against him, with his harem only growing older in his eyes, the old bastard’s attention turned her way.

Ezaeur’s magic held the Demon Lord at bay, for a time. It didn’t help that she and Raestrao did not share a bedroom; that they had barely managed to consummate the marriage, both insisting on being on top, both fighting for any edge they could take over the other. His command overrode her compulsions, his stubborn arrogance overriding her coercion. Raestrao didn’t trust her; and as the tool of his father, she trusted him even less.

But his father was persistent. She had been a fool to think the Lord wouldn’t notice only one served her in bed. She had been a bigger fool to think she could talk Saero out of fighting him when the Bastard tried to rape her. It took every drop of energy to convince her love to go, making him leave her for the night, leaving her nothing as she was used.

She should have known the Demon Lord would return the next day.

Instead he found them, Saero desperately trying to fill her reserves, Ezaeur desperately trying to forget the previous night in her lover's arms. Saero was looking down into her eyes, murmuring words of adoration when she felt his body suddenly hitch. The tip of his spear stabbed her breast as it plunged through his heart.

Ezaeur had screamed as he bled out onto and over her, turning to see the Demon Lord leering. And beyond him… Beyond him her husband stood silent, watching. Raestrao’s eyes were cold, his posture indifferent.

“Your treason is forgiven.” Raestrao spoke the words before leaving them. He made it perfectly clear. He would not stand against his father.

Crying, Ezaeur admitted to Uzaeris that she had made him that way. She had pushed Raestrao, as hard as his father, to become cold, to become powerful. To take his place and do whatever it took to maintain control, in order to maintain the kingdom. She never thought how it might backfire on her.

Uzaeris listened but in his heart he knew. She wasn't the only one to fail his older brother.  _And now Raestrao has found Mika. A human much weaker than Ezaeur._

Uzaeris studied Mika through his spell, fear lodging in his chest as she turned the bottle in her hands and opened the cap. She poured them out onto her palm and he involuntarily rose to his feet, his panic climbing.

 _Don’t take them._ Uzaeris sent the compulsion to her, fearing he was too far away. He tried to summon a gate, the distance painfully pulling at him until he finally thought to link it to the Demon Lord's castle, to jump from here to there and from there through the gate Mika’s own magic was holding. It took time, time he feared he didn’t have when he saw her counting the pills.

 _ **Don’t.**_ He had to keep himself from slamming the coercion into her brain. Only then realizing she had already put the pills back into the bottle. _She wasn’t… She wasn’t..._

But she hadn’t closed it and Raestrao was still out there. Uzaeris had unwittingly trapped her in sleep, giving his brother the opportunity to have her. He couldn’t let those pills do the same.

_**You’re alone, you can’t afford to be trapped unconscious.** _

Mika was clever, smart. He hated playing on her fears, but Uzaeris gave a gasp of relief as he watched her quickly twist the bottle closed. Mika even went so far as to throw it across the room.

Uzaeris laughed, Mika’s gesture striking him as funny in a twisted way. He held his stomach, trying to catch his breath, his eyes tearing as his laughter continued ringing with relief and despair. He didn’t notice the gate widening, didn’t notice her energy flowing into the room to link with his.

Uzaeris heard an odd click and looked up to see her. Mika was closing her bedroom door, just on the other side of the gate from him. And the gate completely opened. Realizing the danger, the incubus struck the air, extinguishing the candles in his rooms instantly, plunging it all into darkness. He watched, eyes wide as she turned around.

Uzaeris couldn’t feel the barrier between them any longer. Not only could he sense her emotions, her fear; he could smell her. He could taste her breath on the air. She was right there, right in front of him. There was nothing, nothing blocking him from her.

“Desino.” _Stop._ He spoke the command, his magic instantly holding Mika frozen in place and time. She stared into the darkness, lips slightly parted, eyes wide.

Uzaeris couldn’t risk her seeing him, couldn’t risk her being pulled into the Demon World. He wanted her out, free of it, and him with her. He stared at her, raising one hand to feel her energy. It was diminished but still stronger than any human he’d known. He gave a bark, of laughter or sorrow, even he wasn’t sure as the emotions warred within him. His fingertips brushed her cheek: warm, smooth, soft.

“You’re here,” Uzaeris whispered, amazed.

In a rush, he reached for her but her body was immovable, trapped in his spell. It didn’t matter, he wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips to hers, wanting her kiss once more. Her energy circled, feeding Uzaeris as he held himself against her, but it was passive. He opened his eyes to see hers staring, unseeing. None of the desire, the excitement, the surrender from their first kiss. None of the knowledge in those eyes that he was so much more than even he, himself, would admit. None of the forgiveness for his nature, the understanding. Nothing.

It wasn’t the same.

“No.” She was a dream he’d fashioned to get through even the darkest day. Unobtainable, pure, his true Queen. His hand was crimson, as were his stripes. It was the taint of the demon he was, obvious against her pale skin. He stumbled back from her, from the odd joining of their two worlds.

What ruin you bring upon us all. Raestrao’s words echoed in his mind.

“No!” Uzaeris shouted his denial.

He turned from Mika, snatching up one of the golden candelabras from a nearby cabinet. He swung it across the top, knocking everything upon it to the floor. A silver bowl clanged as it landed, sending fruit rolling even as bits of crystal and porcelain shattered around it.

Uzaeris swung again, shattering a mirror, and another. He kicked out at one delicately carved chair, sending it across the room, the wood splintering. His power flared magenta and tendrils lashed out, ripping the tapestries from the walls, shredding the hangings over his bed, smashing furniture as he screamed.

The guards were banging on his door and he threw his power at it, ethereal tentacles roaring to life around the wood, knocking them away.

“Leave me!” He shouted over the maelstrom. He turned, candlestick in hand, to find himself face-to-face with Mika once more. Fighting to catch his breath, he stared at her as his anger died, his face crumbling. He dropped the candelabra on the floor at his feet.

His own sobs shaking him, Uzaeris leaned forward to brush her cheek with his own, nuzzling her as he clung to her. You’re real. He stepped back, running a hand through her hair, his other holding her cheek just as he had so long ago. But she didn’t react at all. If he dropped the spell, Mika wouldn’t know him.

She smelled of Raestrao and tasted of sorrow.

“Leave me.” Uzaeris moved away; he wouldn’t touch her again. He couldn’t.

“You would regret it,” he whispered in the dark. “You would regret loving me.”

He stepped backward, gathering his magic once more. Carefully he drew on the gate, finding the edges, pulling them closed. He released Mika from his spell, just as it snapped shut, watching her turn away from him in the darkness to hurry down the stairs of her home.

Uzaeris dropped to his knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit  
> the wolf - siames  
> https://youtu.be/lX44CAz-JhU


	9. Put me to the test, I'll prove that I am strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> History repeats itself

Matthew walked down the sidewalk, heading back to his Gold Coast apartment with a bag of groceries tucked under one arm. His phone pinged with a text.

 _'How are you?'_ Damien, his monthly Mika check right on schedule.

Matthew sighed. His brother insisted he was over her. _Yeah, right._ Ever since Damien had graduated from the University and returned to Chicago, he’d used Matthew as a way to stay connected. Watching her from afar: asking about Andrew, asking if they had any plans, asking about the wedding. He just couldn’t let go. It was borderline creeper.

 _'Good, you?'_ Matthew’s thumb slid across his smart phone to answer one-handed.

 _There’s no way I’m going to tell him._ Tomorrow was the funeral and Matthew hadn’t seen Mika yet. He wasn’t sure what to expect. Damien would only complicate things. _Mika’s dealing with enough right now._ They didn’t need his obsessed mind reading brother in the middle of it all. Damien would find out eventually, but Matthew would cross that bridge when it came.

_'I’m doing well. Would you like to get together for dinner?'_

_You should be asking a girl this question, bro._ Matthew shook his head as he stepped onto the elevator in his building. He loved his brother dearly and had helped him with school and to purchase the shop Damien now ran, but sometimes he just had to shake his head. There was so much more his brother could be doing, experiencing. An incubus with their powers? It was amazingly easy to find success in the human world; to make a place for yourself, once you learned how everything worked. With Damien’s mind reading, Matthew could have been even further ahead.

 _'We could do it another time. It doesn’t have to be tonight,'_ Damien added.

Matthew opened his apartment door to a surprise. Black lace lingerie with black cat ears, Sarah was sitting on the wet bar in his apartment. A tail stuck up from the back of her garter belt to complete the costume. Her heels were perched on the stool in front of her and her knees spread in invitation when she saw him watching. She looked sexy and adorable. _Looks like the fight’s over._

 _'Another time, I have a meeting tonight.'_ Matthew closed the door behind him and his ex-girlfriend smiled.

 _'OK_ _I’ll call you. Maybe later this week?'_

 _'Sure. My treat.'_ Matthew ended the conversation and dropped the groceries and phone on the bar beside Sarah before propping his hands on either side of her.

“Mmmm.” She leaned forward, scratching her painted nails down his shirt before snagging his tie and pulling him closer.

“Hey, little kitty.” He gave a sly smile as he studied the blonde’s lips. “You don’t bite, do you?”

“Maybe a little nip,” she giggled. 

“Nip?” He chuckled, reaching for her bra and tugging the fabric down to expose her breast. “Or do you mean the other nip?”

Matthew reached into his pocket and pulled out a little felt sun, stuffed with cat mint. Sarah laughed and he smiled broadly.

“Only you would have a pocket full of sunshine." She giggled again as she took it from him and rubbed it under her chin. “Do you have any other toys in there?” She reached for his blazer, unbuttoning it before checking the jacket’s pockets only to find them empty.

“You mean such as this?” He reached back in and pulled out a fluffy white feather, tickling her with it until she bat at it, the two of them grinning.

“How do you do that?” she asked between giggles.

“Magic.”

“Magic? Do it again.”

“You want another toy?” His smile turned mischievous.

The woman purred, leaning forward to slide her cheek along his jaw. “Mmmmmeow, yesss,” she hissed lightly in his ear.

Matthew leaned back to give her a charming look and reached in again.

“Tada!” He pulled out another toy. A press of the button and it started buzzing with vibration as her eyes went wide, her mouth dropping open with unexpected delight.

“Such a good kitty,” he chuckled, circling her exposed breast with it. “Maybe you want to help me with my next trick?” He leaned closer, kissing the crook of her neck as his other hand brushed her stomach.

“What trick is that?” Sarah closed her eyes to enjoy the feel of his lips moving up to her ear. His empty hand slid down her belly to rub the lace between her legs, his finger brushing her intimately before he hooked her thong with a finger and pulled it aside.

“I’m going to make this toy disappear,” he whispered into the shell of her ear.

She gasped as he slid it into her.

*

James lay back on his bed, book in hand, still wrapped in his glamour. He took a deep breath and flipped the page, rereading one of his favorite novels. It was like a vacation, as the humans called it. His first respite since he'd last been in this world and he wanted to enjoy it.

It was hard to believe he was back; he had forgotten just how different it was. He had enjoyed the dinner he made for himself in his new home. He was surrounded by luxuries humans made for themselves. The lamp on the bedside table gave a warm glow, easy on the eyes with no fire or magic necessary, his new smart phone was charging beside it, even the fabric against his skin was a decadence, easily made and plentiful.

It hadn't taken much magic to convince the previous occupants to sell this house to him; even less to convince the bank for the loan. Tomorrow, he would do some more gardening.

 **Do you still tend the flowers in the garden, Raestrao?** He shoved the memory away with distaste.

The night was so quiet, James could feel the storm approaching. And though he was alone, everything he did, everything, felt more fulfilling. He was living without the need for appearances, without the weight of the world on his shoulders, without being on edge every moment.

The biggest decision he made today was to speak to Mika and even though she turned down his offer, he could see she was still intrigued. It brought a small smile to his lips. Mika's appraising eyes that evening told him he cut a fine figure for her, once she'd warmed to him a little. And he neither expected nor desired her to be easy.

 _Patience,_ he reminded himself as the thought of her in her running clothes had him wanting to see how far that spandex could stretch. _This isn't your kingdom. She requires subtlety, remember? Human women do not answer well to command, not at first._

Lightning flashed, and the rain finally broke from the dark clouds above. James glanced over at the window. It was open and looked out over the street, Mika’s home just on the other side. He didn't want to close it. The air was fresh, brisk, and he enjoyed the feel of the colder wind blowing in. A little rain wouldn't hurt.

A scream echoed from across the street. James recognized Mika immediately. He was up before he knew it, rushing past the window, taking the stairs three at a time as his long legs propelled him down. He threw the lock, slamming through his front door, to see the light from hers shining out into the night. Running, he ignored the pouring rain and dashed up the driveway.

Mika, in a robe and silk pajamas, was standing just within the doorway. Lightning flashed again and James slid to a halt at her bottom step. She wasn't alone.

 **Aomaris.** His mouth dropped open as he saw the visage of his younger brother in his human glamour. **Sam!**  His brother kissed Mika, as he had so many years ago.

James stared in shock: a stab of guilt straight through his heart, his breath stolen. _Aomaris…_ And then Sam was gone, Mika standing and shivering with her eyes closed and head tilted up as if still in the kiss.

 _I’m imagining things._ James quickly pulled himself under control. “Miss, are you alright?!“ he called up to her.

Mika was startled, disoriented. He could feel her energy in the air, pouring from the mansion. The protective wards on the house were alert, the magic poised to protect her from any threat of darkness or ill intent. “Are you alright?” He tried to catch her attention and heard her whisper his human name.

Mika was soaked, her clothing plastered to her, the wind howling around them as it threw the rain. He had to get her inside. A part of him surged with a desire that James quickly suppressed.

“I heard you scream. May I come in?” His eyes burned gold as his enthrallment and command filled the request. He climbed the next step to meet her eye level.

His command hit a wall. It wasn’t the wards; Mika’s own power held his, the Demon Lord’s, at bay. She turned away and anger rushed through him. James quickly claimed his mask before she turned back, refusing to let her see, and strode up the remaining steps.

“James…” Mika’s confusion shifted to shock as she tried to speak. Her eyes widened. For a moment it looked like...recognition? James’ heart hammered once more, dulling his anger, building excitement.

_Yes!_

It didn’t last. He rushed to catch her as she fainted.

 *

Mika was vaguely aware of being held, of being carried up the stairs. She tried to speak, to move, but her limbs felt too heavy.

“Shhh. You’re safe.” A warm male voice that calmed and soothed, even though it wasn’t Andrew’s.

She woke with a start, still in damp clothes, wrapped in a bath towel on top of her bed. The scent of herbal tea filled the air and she looked up to see a steaming mug on her bedside table and a man sitting in one of the bedroom’s chairs next to her.

“James!” She sat up in surprise.

“You recognize me?” He asked, sipping from his mug. He decided to make tea for the both of them; the warmth and chamomile were a pleasant combination, especially since they were still in damp clothing. He didn’t dare undress her. Not without absolute need or her express permission. A part of him mourned his restraint but his energy levels were higher than they’d ever been and it annoyed him to want more, as if he were a glutton such as Uzaeris.

“Yes, you live across the street.” Mika gave a nervous nod, holding the towel closer.

James hid his sigh. _Perhaps the past really is gone._ No matter, he would build it all over again.

“You gave me quite a scare,” he admitted. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Frankly, he didn’t want to. He wanted to set his mug down, lean forward and slowly climb onto that bed. He wanted to be on top of her; peeling the clinging fabric from her damp skin with his teeth. Only to replace it with his lips, his hands, his own bared body. Mika smelled so good. Between her proximity and the memory of her pleasure last night, he was hard pressed to control himself.

“I… It was nothing, nightmares.” Unexpected heat rushed through her as she met his eyes and Mika looked away. Here in her bedroom, his attention intent upon her, James looked like a gentleman brought to the edge of going rogue.

She carefully reached for her mug of tea, the borderline hot ceramic taking the chill from her hands. The pill bottle came into view, sitting on the table right behind it and she flushed in embarrassment. _He must have seen it and picked it up._  There was no way he wouldn't recognize it. The drug’s name was practically a household word. _Great, now he'll think I’m crazy._

“Mika, we have met before.” His unexpected words made her look back up, pulling her from her embarrassment. “Years ago, I told you that you don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to be strong at all when facing a great loss.” The empathy in his eyes was too much.

“You’re wrong.” Her throat tried to close and she blinked back the tears that suddenly threatened. “Sometimes strength is all you have left.”

“Miss," It was an endearment from him, "You have my deepest condolences. If you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen.” His look was so tender, his hand reaching for hers, it pushed her over the edge.

Mika pulled away, tears escaping. She rubbed her cheeks with the back of a hand, unable to face him.  _He knows about Andrew._  It was a surprise until it struck her that it was probably the biggest news in the neighborhood. There was more than one gossip on the street and it would be a juicy topic to impress such a handsome new neighbor. 

_What am I thinking?_

“No,” She couldn’t talk about it, she couldn't even think about it without breaking down. Mika drank a little of the tea, not even tasting it as it scalded her tongue. But at least it was a different feeling from those threatening to overwhelm her. James looked down into his own mug, trying to hide his dejection, and remorse struck her. _He’s only trying to help._

“I should let you sleep.” He rose and Mika realized just how tall he was, taller than Andrew. He looked so uncomfortable. “I’m sorry to have imposed. If you should ever need my assistance, please, do not hesitate to ask.” He only paused a moment before leaving his mug on the table, deciding a swift exit was more prudent than trying to clean the dishes.

“James,” Mika followed after him, still holding the towel about her shoulders. She caught him at the front door. “I’m sorry.” Feeling guilty at what she had put him through, that she was shutting down on him, Mika tried to find the right words to say.

 _I’m a mess. I’m going crazy. I keep imagining my dead fiance. I thought I saw you dead, too._ But she couldn’t admit any of it to him.

“There’s no need to apologize.” His gaze slowly rose to meet hers again.

Mika wasn’t sure why, but she stepped closer, tilting her head up to him. It felt like the right thing to do. “Come here,” she beckoned him down with one hand. Unsure, James leaned over and Mika rose on her toes to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, for helping me,” she whispered, smelling the scent of rain on him before dropping down and stepping back.

He was such a gentleman, keeping his hands at his sides, not taking advantage. He stared at her, surprised, and his smile returned. “You’re very welcome, Miss.”

“And James, perhaps we'll talk more, next time.” She gave a teary smile herself.

“Perhaps,” he affectionately agreed, studying her a moment longer before turning away. Mika watched him walk across the street; he turned back to see her before entering his own home. With mixed feelings, she bolted the door and ran back up the stairs, not wanting to be in the foyer any longer than she had to, keeping her eyes on the floor.

**We have met before.**

Mika bit her lip, recalling the flashes. _You were hurt, James. All of that blood... Is it a memory or precognition?_

*

Mika stared out the car window, coffee in hand, fighting to focus her thoughts. She’d fallen asleep quickly after James left last night, dropping into a dreamless sleep, only to wake to the sound of her alarm and her bedroom lamp still on. It took all of her will to stay awake and get up out of bed. She hadn’t taken any pills, shoving them into her medicine cabinet, but she still felt as if she were in a numb haze.

"We're here, Ms. Anderson." Mika stepped out of the limo, leaving the cup as the driver held the door for her. She nodded her thanks; he would pick her up at the cemetery that evening.

The funeral home was elegant; one of the old converted mansions on the near-north side of Chicago. Not even noon, already there were cars parked in the lot for the visitation. She recognized Jared's Cadillac. Her father had yet to arrive, she saw with relief.

Mika stepped between the tall white marble pillars to the lattice front door. The houses of the dead all looked the same. A place you only went in order to say goodbye on neutral ground, in hopes you wouldn't tarnish what memories you had of those who left you behind.

The elderly funeral director welcomed her at the door. The carpeted lobby was clean with a scattering of fairly-matched chairs and end tables against the walls. Boxes of tissues sat at every table, small waste paper baskets tucked discretely into corners. A flat-screen hung on the wall, displaying Andrew's name and the salon he was "resting" in.

Mika quickly turned away before she had to face it again. Somehow, seeing it made everything that much closer to permanent. Andrew was in that room. The last room she'd ever see him in. The last time she'd ever see him. 

"Mika," Jared was at her shoulder, offering a hug that she gratefully accepted. "We need you in the office, just for a little while."

She met his eyes and nodded, not trusting her voice. The funeral director quickly led them down a hallway and past a solemn coffee station into his private office. It looked more like a study, the walls lined with book shelves. A painting of a sunny field of flowers hung on one wall, imitating a window.

A man in a dark gray suit turned to regard her as they entered, Mr. Dunn, the family lawyer. Mika paused in the doorway and he gestured towards a high wing back chair. "Ms. Anderson, please have a seat."

Her stomach dropped as she sat, the lawyer moving behind the desk, Jared sitting bext to her, facing her. The funeral director left, closing the door behind him, giving them privacy. "What is this about?" Mika's eyes wavered as she looked between the two of them.

"Mika, Andrew made sure to take care of you," Jared replied with a sad smile. “He set this up weeks ago, wanting it in place before the wedding.” The words sent chills through her. It sounded as if Andrew had known something would happen to him.

"Your fiancé left you his entire estate, Ms. Anderson." The lawyer’s voice was impassive.

"Estate?" _The Lewis Estate?_ But his parents...

"You're like a daughter to Elizabeth and me,” Jared nodded. “We want you to have it. In a few months, I'm going to retire. We're moving to Florida; we have an oceanside home already chosen."

"Jared..."

“There's nothing more for us here.” Andrew’s father leaned forward and put his hand over hers, where it rested on her lap. "It's okay."

_Nothing? Everything was here! Anderson Toys, their home, the horses, her._

"You are now heir to the Lewis family as well." The lawyer's dour voice continued. "There will be an estate sale of everything you do not wish to retain and the house will be sold. A portion will go to the Lewis’, but the majority falls to you."

"I, I don't want it! Jared... " Andrew's father turned away from her as Mika stared at him. He looked so old in her eyes as he dropped his head.

"In addition, as benefactor, all investment accounts, stocks, bonds and Andrew’s retirement portfolio will be transferred to your name."

"Stop!” Mika felt another ball of anxiety rise in her throat. “Is there a way I can donate it? Give it to charity or something? Jared?" _I don’t want it. I don’t want this. I want him back!_

"The transition will take time, Ms. Anderson,” the lawyer explained. “Once complete, you may speak with your own investment team to determine what you would like to do with it.” He continued reading off the summary sheet he held. "Mr. Lewis also owned a large amount of Anderson Toys stock, passed to him from his father. He was the second largest shareholder, beneath your family’s majority, some of which you inherited from your grandfather previously. You are now the company’s primary shareholder, by a significant margin."

"Jared, the company. My father..." Mika entreated her almost father in law. He had founded Anderson Toys, Inc. with her grandfather. Harold Anderson had purposely blocked his own son David, Mika's father, from control of the company.

"You have always made us proud, Mika, both Harold and I. A lot of those toys were developed by you. I know the Company will be in good hands with you."

"I was only a little girl, playing! I don't know how to run a company." She'd only taken the business courses necessary to help her run a veterinary clinic. A college education was a far cry from the real world of business.

She felt smothered as if she couldn't breathe. _Work at Anderson Toys? As CEO?_ It was as if her past, her time with Andrew, was eroding away. _Veterinary school, our horses, Tempel Farms; what is left for me?_ She'd gone through the motions yesterday, requesting an extension before her residency at the farm. It bought her time to put together the pieces. Now it felt as if even the scraps were blowing away from her.

"I'll stay long enough for you to get your feet wet,” Andrew’s father added. “There are others that can help you. I'll introduce you to them today if you wish. Or maybe Wednesday at the office, if you prefer?" Jared pulled his hand away to stand once more.

 _Wednesday at the office. Only a week since Andrew died._ The coming Saturday was supposed to have been her wedding day. Instead of a white dress, she was now wearing black. Instead of her carrying flowers, Andrew's body was decked in them in the other room. Another aisle waited for her to walk down to him, to change her life with him forever.

**_Forever apart._ **

The tears came once more and she snatched a tissue from the box in front of her on the desk. Once again it felt surreal. _Nightmares are dreams, too._

The two men waited patiently until Andrew’s father finally dismissed the lawyer. "Mika, it's time. We should go to him.” Jared held out his hand to her.

She didn't take it. Instead, Mika rose of her own accord and slowly walked back out into the dusty yellow light of the funeral home to see those who came to pay their respects to the dead. She was a widow, before ever being a bride.

_Sometimes strength is all you have left._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit:  
> Warrior - Beth Crowley  
> https://youtu.be/Pa8iyHzHUSQ
> 
> "Tada!" - my favorite line so far. XD


	10. If I can live through this, I can do anything.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aomaris' choice

“You’ve changed, Raestrao.” The brute demon stormed into the castle’s library. The Heir could hear the guards shouting for back-up from where he sat; no doubt Aomaris had hurt at least one of them in order to get past.

“We all have,” Raestrao admitted as he turned to his younger brother and paused in surprise.

Aomaris looked even stronger than he remembered: more muscle beneath the green stripes, his shoulders broader, his horns longer. There was a ferocity to his bright green eyes that made Raestrao think again. He hadn’t seen his brother in… _Has it really been over three years?_

“What brings you here?” The Heir rose from his chair, leaving the book he had been studying: strategy and tactics. There were rumors of a rebellion, growing stronger every day.

“Do I need a reason?” Aomaris’ frown grew and he folded his arms. “We’re brothers. Or have you forgotten that you even have brothers?”

“I-”

“Uzaeris hasn’t seen you in years, either.” The brute took another step forward.

Raestrao bristled as the other demon interrupted him. “He has his dalliances.” His voice dripped with scorn for the incubus. He’d attempted to approach Uzaeris, but his brother’s nocturnal activities made it impossible. “I have my duties. The kingdom requires my attention.”

“Only because that dick bag of a dad of ours needs you to cover for him, while he slaps his subjects around and rapes someone else.” Aomaris snarled.

“You will not speak of our father with such a tone.” Raestrao’s eyes narrowed. “He is the ruler of this kingdom.”

“Really? Because I see that as you right now.” The brute demon lifted his chin in challenge.

“Your words could be construed as treason.” Raestrao shook his head, every inch the arrogant Heir as he looked down upon his brother. “I support the Kingdom and the one who currently rules it.” He folded his arms to mirror Aomaris. “You’ve grown stronger.”

The brute gave a laugh at his brother’s statement of the obvious. “Yeah. So?”

“So, join me. There is unrest in the Kingdoms, talk of a rebellion. They need control; a ruler with a steady hand to command them. Our father needs strong leaders beneath him to guide our court, our armies.” Raestrao considered him.

“Is that the shit he’s spreading?!” Aomaris gave a sarcastic snort. “You mean he wants them under his thumb like we all are, to take the best for himself and leave everyone else scrambling to survive. Come on! You’re smarter than that.”

Raestrao flushed. “The strong will rise.” He held his hand out. “I need someone, Aomaris, a General for my armies for the war that we both know is approaching.”

“And will you fight _Him_?” The brute searched his brother’s eyes.

“Fight who?” Raestrao would not acknowledge even the notion of it.

“That answers my question.” Aomaris ran a hand through his messy hair, giving a grimace. “We tried. We really tried with you, you know that?”

“Tried?” Raestrao raised a brow. “You are beginning to sound insulting, _little_ brother.”

Aomaris growled, trying to hold back, and lost the battle. “You’re turning into him!” His yell echoed through the library. “Okay? You’re fucking becoming him! You always said you wouldn’t, that you hated what he is, but look at yourself!” He swept a hand towards the mirror over the fireplace, disgusted. Raestrao bristled in anger, gritting his own teeth, but his brother would have his say. “You follow him around, mindlessly, his little clone. Mouth shut, the perfect son.”

“Is that what you think?”

“Yeah, that's how it looks to me. You do everything he asks, ‘for the sake of the kingdom’, ‘to show our strength’, ‘to maintain our dominance,” Aomaris spat the words. “You’re already lording it over half the kingdom, his toadies whispering in your ears, telling you how great you are.”

“Aomaris…” Raestrao clenched his hand into a fist, livid as he faced off with his brother. He was still taller, but the brute strength of the other was beyond his own. And they both knew it.

“You believe them! You think you’re better than any of us!” Green eyes flashed, but Aomaris brought himself down, forced himself to back down from the fight. “There was a time you thought we were all equal. A family. There was a time you wanted to make this a better place, or at least to get the fuck out of here.”

“This isn’t my time.” Raestrao’s voice was cold, his eyes intense. “It isn’t my time, Aomaris, not yet.”

“Then when? After dear old dad has crushed anything of worth in the world?” The younger brother turned away. “Have you forgotten what it’s like for them?” He gestured out the window. Raestrao would have seen the slaves working the fields if he bothered to turn. “Have you forgotten what happened to Izroul? What he went through before he escaped? What kind of thoughts would our baby brother hear from that fat head of yours now? Would you even admit he’s our brother?”

Raestrao paused, shocked. “Of course…”

“There are thousands of Izrouls, right outside that window. Hungry, weak, hurting.” Aomaris turned away in disgust. “But you’re too busy playing the Prince. Sitting on your velvet pillows and trying to figure out how to get even more. Not for them, but for you. For your inheritance.”

Silence answered his accusation and Aomaris clenched his eyes shut. _It’s the truth; Raestrao would deny it otherwise._ His eldest brother had given his word decades before; or was it a century? When he and his brothers vowed never to lie to each other; to always be there for each other. Aomaris tried to reach for his anger, his rage; but the itchiness in his eyes, the despair filling his heart with every second, told him it was too late.

“You want me to fight for you? Lead your armies beside you?” The questions were calm, quietly coming from the brute and Raestrao stepped back. He could only nod, not trusting his voice. He had to hold onto his discipline, to maintain his composure, to remain strong. This was the chance he’d hoped for: to win Aomaris, to convince his brother and bring him into the ruling circle.

“I can’t.” The younger brother looked down at his hands, releasing his fists. “I can’t fight for you.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Raestrao’s voice was rough. His eyes met his brother’s as the other turned his head to look back at him.

“Won’t. You’re on the wrong side, bro.”

Raestrao let him walk away. He didn’t say a word; he couldn’t with anger and frustration ripping his throat apart from the inside. There were guards, imps; he was never alone.

His brother left that night, turning his back on his family and their kingdom. Raestrao would not see Aomaris again, until the war.

*

James paced throughout his home, unable to sleep. He saw the dim glow of a light still on in Mika’s home through the windows, but any thoughts of being with her tonight were long gone.

 _Aomaris_. He clenched his raised fist, hearing his knuckles pop as his emotions welled. _You were so strong._ They had returned to their lives in the Abyssal Plains, to accept their responsibilities. James had been buried in the needs of the kingdom, in his marriage, and the days had blurred. It was a very different path from Sam’s but the paths they took didn’t matter; it all led to betrayal in the end.

He wouldn’t contact Zecaeru. A part of him didn’t want to know what his clever younger brother was doing, what he would think of him, now. He wanted to see what Matthew finally made of himself, had wanted to be there for him as he grew up. _Will he hold it against me?_ Their goodbye had been so swift.  
  
_And Izroul… Damien. His name is Damien here._ James reminded himself. He glanced back out the window. _He’s left her alone. He must have moved on._

Damien made him nervous. James understood some of his father’s attitude towards the mind reader now. There were some things that demanded respect and privacy, especially as a leader. He did not want to see his baby brother’s eyes judging him.

_I do what has to be done. The world is bigger than they know. Bigger than a home, than a garden, than a girl. There isn’t time to long for books and sunshine and a simple conversation with Mika sitting across my lap and laughing at nothing…_

"Stop it," James growled low to himself. The street was quiet, dark but for the occasional street lamp. _Aomaris isn’t out there. He couldn’t be._

Years ago, Malix and his gang of devils had almost killed them. Sam had snatched up Damien and Matthew’s bodies and they fled the forest to find themselves breaking into Mika's home. What he saw tonight… _It was the same kiss._ The same kiss as when they all first met her. Mika’s energy had healed Sam. Considering the bullet wounds, that kiss had saved his brother’s life.

 _Only to lose it later._ The memory of Aomaris broken at his feet haunted James once more. He stared at his reflection in the window, seeing the blood running down his hands, spattered across his grim face. He watched himself lift the crown of the Demon Lord to finally place it upon his own brow.

_Aomaris made his choices, just as we all have._

*

Mika walked back out into the lobby. What had been quiet before, now held a crowd. Clusters of people in suits and skirts stood about. She recognized many of them from the company or Andrew's extended family. Their conversations rumbled as a baseline throughout the room. Most of them turned to look at her. Pity, curiosity, sorrow, indifference; it was a gambit of reactions that all held the same purpose: waiting to see what she would do.

Jared moved up beside her to guide her to the salon. There was a line, people talking as they waited to pay their respects. Pictures of Andrew from throughout his life were pinned up on boards along the way, something to share while they waited. It reminded her of their early dating when Andrew took her to the amusement park. They'd stand with Suzu, Naomi, and some of their other friends; waiting to ride the coasters. Andrew would always step up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her shoulder. Later, he'd rent the entire park for the company's picnic each year; so all his employees and their families could enjoy it, too.

"They need us inside, Mika." Jared gently reminded her. The line wasn't for them, it was for the people waiting to see Andrew and them. Mika let him guide her past and into the salon.

_Even more people. So many! Andrew touched so many in his life._

There were chairs set out with an aisle down the middle, though the line ran down the side. Flowers were everywhere, their scent cloying and heavy; arrangements with cards and more messages that she couldn't bear to read.

A cherry wood casket rested at the far end; people speaking, touching, kneeling and praying for what lie within. She could just barely see his silhouette.

"I'll start here, Jared." Mika turned away and gestured to those in the back of the room. "Go on ahead to Elizabeth."

"Mika..."

"I'll be fine." She stepped towards the nearest group, leaving him.

 

*

Matthew entered the funeral home, his eyes scanning the faces of those around him. Serious, he moved through the crowd, past the clusters of people whispering and murmuring. He shook a few hands, rested his on a few shoulders to offer comfort, and nodded greetings as he passed both coworkers and friends. The salon held even more. Jared had hoped to have a small visitation, a simple memorial and then the family at the graveside.

 _He’s running away, trying to make it as quick and painless as possible._ The CTO shook his head. Andrew’s friends came anyway. _He would have thrown a party. He would have wanted laughter and stories; the more fantastical, the better._ Even as he passed, he heard the tales of Ace Lewis. _He was a good guy._ But Matthew couldn’t just remember his friend and join them, heading to the bars to drink a last toast to the man and move on with simple memories. It wouldn’t end as quickly for some of them.

 _Where is she?_ He was nervous. He wasn’t sure how Mika was taking all of this, how she would react to him. He’d stayed away from her all this time.

 _She would have met with the lawyer already._ He’d spent all day yesterday handling the majority of the paperwork as Jared finished the arrangements here. The elderly man saw him and paused in his conversation, relief flooding his face. Matthew moved to approach him when he heard a familiar voice.

“You’ve been hiding back here all afternoon. Your place is up at the front of the line.” David Anderson frowned down at his daughter, Mika’s cheeks burning with embarrassment.

Matthew paused, his anger flaring. He knew David would be trouble. He’d wanted a formal introduction, time to gauge her reaction to him, but he couldn’t leave her like that.

“Um, Hi! Mika?”

She turned, surprised to find a man barely older than her in a well-cut suit, interrupting them. Features made to smile were instead nervous as he ran a hand through his black hair, unconsciously mussing it a bit as he awkwardly slid into the conversation.

“Talbot, this isn’t your concern,” her father sniffed.

“Talbot?” Mika looked at him closer. “Matthew Talbot?” The bright blue eyes, the relieved smile that crossed his features were a welcome sight compared to the sorrow around them.

“Oh! Uh, yeah.” He held out his hand and she took it, his shake warm and comfortable. “We, ah, haven’t really met before…”

“Andrew told me a lot about you.” She tried to put him at ease. “It’s almost like I know you.”

“All good, right?” Matthew joked, meeting her eyes. She nodded, breaking into a small smile herself.

“Mika, this is one of the men I told you about. Matthew will be helping you with the Company.” Jared stepped up, his introduction late.

“What are you talking about, Lewis?” her father eyed the two other men.

“Nothing to worry yourself with, David. We’ll discuss it tomorrow, in the office.”

Jared turned back to her. “You haven’t been to see him yet. I’ll walk up with you if you’d like.” He gestured down the aisle.

“No, thank you.” Mika shook her head.

“You need to pay your respects." David practically ordered her.

“I have, every day since it happened.” Mika refused, her composure starting to crack.

 _That isn't Andrew in that box;_ it barely looked like him. It was something else. Something trying to steal her memories of the man who had held her, who had devoted his life to her. It wanted to overlap what she knew and haunt her. She wouldn’t let her last memory of him be a grotesque taxidermy.

“Hey, it’s alright.” Matthew put a hand on her arm, but David stepped between them, separating them.

"Mika," her father warned. But she wasn't a child anymore, to be told what to do. He had no control over her, no influence. He couldn't force her to bastardize her memories.

"No." She turned and left the room. She saw Naomi’s concern, Suzu’s frown, as she hurried past where they stood in line, neither saying anything to her.

Jared turned away, disappointed, and David moved to fetch his daughter when a strong hand gripped his arm.

"That's enough."

David turned to see Matthew. Charismatic most of the time, lighthearted, and laissez' fair; the CTO held his ground. He stepped up as if to walk past him, but paused, his voice low for only David's ear.

"You say one more word to her, even go near her, and I won't be responsible for what happens to you."

"How dare you?!" David’s look was incredulous as he yanked his arm away.

"I know Andrew was paying you off to leave her alone." Matthew locked eyes with him. "You will not upset her again, not tonight. Or you will get _nothing_." Mika’s father faltered, unable to answer. “We’ll speak more of this, later.” Matthew held his gaze a moment more before straightening his suit and walking out.

He followed her.

It took all the discipline he had when he felt the pulse of Mika's energy through their handshake. _She's so much stronger than I remember._ He was lucky she was distraught; she could have overwhelmed him if she'd desired him. As it was, he was more than a little awed. It made it difficult to focus. All of that power had been tied up in a spell that was now broken. They’d need to be careful. Mika was right back to where they’d left her, her grandfather’s magic rich in her blood; at the crossroads of his legacy and her desire for the future. _Jared had no idea what he was asking when he brought me in._

"Mika." He caught up with her before she made it to the front door, catching her hand and pulling her aside into an empty salon.

"Let go." She drew back, head down, trying not to show her tears.

"No." Matthew gently pulled her into a hug, offering his sympathy. "I miss him, too."

Mika stood rigid for a moment before finally hugging him back, a small sniff the only sound.

"Hey, we'll help you through this. I'm here for you and for him, too." Matthew rubbed her shoulder. "He was a great guy."

"You two were close?" She stepped back and he let her go immediately. She felt so out of touch. She never really asked Andrew the specifics of his work and he never offered when he knew it would only stress her out. He’d maintained the same distance for her as her grandfather had. "I'm sorry, it's probably a stupid question."

"Well, I have been working directly for him the past four years. So yeah, I'd say we were pretty close." He gave a small chuckle, offering her his handkerchief. "Enough to be a partner in crime on a fairly regular basis. Though I swear, the fizzing rocket idea was all him."

Mika blinked at Matthew, remembering the time Andrew brought a new prototype home. It was a cardboard rocket packed with effervescent tablets. "Just add water," she mused out loud. Her smile broke through as she remembered the two of them diving for the gazebo in the backyard, the little toy exploding in a huge mass of colored foam that had covered them both. "And strawberry scented, too. It took a week to wash it out of my hair.”

"Wasn't me." Matthew held his hands up in innocence.

"But you're CTO; the head developer. You knew it would happen, didn't you?" She narrowed her eyes as he blushed and stammered.

"I... I plead the 5th!"

"You can't plead the 5th; your team made it for him! You did! You did know! It took a day to hose it all out of the back yard." Matthew started laughing out loud and Mika grinned, stepping forward and slapping at his shoulder. "You knew it would happen!"

"I didn't know he'd try it in front of you! Honest!" He caught her hand, Mika's laughter echoing with his in the empty room.

"You are so dead!" She smacked him with her other hand giving a grin before freezing in place, eyes wide.

Matthew sobered, too. "Mika, this is how he'd want you to remember him." He met her gaze. "The adventures of Ace Lewis."

"He would," she admitted with a small smile. It was a little sad but still held amusement at the memory.

"It's good to see you smile." Matthew stepped away from her.

"Are you kidding? I'm a mess." She blinked and quickly rubbed her face with the silk handkerchief before blowing her nose. She offered it back to him and his smile turned sheepish.

"Uh, thanks but no thanks. I have another." He pulled another clean square out from his pocket. She gave a watery bark of laughter.

"Always be prepared," she remembered Andrew quoting from his scouting days.

"Are you ready to go back?" Matthew asked and Mika sighed. "You don't have to go up to the front. I don't want to either. Honestly, it kinda creeps me out," he admitted and she smiled at him again. "Let's stick together, alright? Wingmen?" he offered.

"Sure," Mika answered gratefully.

She made it through the rest of the day. Suzu and Naomi didn't approach her, the Italian's mood looking even darker than before. Mika's father backed off as well.

When it came to her time to speak, Mika shared the story of the rocket, everyone chuckling with her. It was so Andrew, every inch of him goofy and fun and adventurous and loving. Whenever things started feeling too heavy, Matthew was there for her. She could count on him to crack a joke or lighten the mood.

They were so alike, it was almost as if Andrew was still there for her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit  
> Champion - Fall Out Boy  
> https://youtu.be/JJJpRl2cTJc


	11. It's just another thing that we lost in the fire.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowers

Uzaeris sat in the shuttered darkness of his room, in the only chair left standing. _The only thing here that isn’t broken._ His bare feet slid among the splinters and shards on the floor as he leveraged himself to sit up. His knuckles bled from both hands.

On the floor, in a small cleared circle, lay the daisy. Bruised, it's connection was tenuous, but he could still feel it. He could still feel the channel stretching to connect his magic to hers. His room was no longer a place upon the Plains. He was in limbo, the flow of time connected by the portal reaching to her world. It was like looking out through the bars of the gates of Hell.

He could feel Raestrao, too, lurking in the background. His scent was subtle on Mika now, her skin and energy cleansed by her world's rain. His brother did not return to her bed last night, but it was only a matter of time.

Mika had left the house, garbed for mourning. Uzaeris knew what it meant: Andrew's funeral. He silently wished her strength, wished he could have been there for her. He was deeply grateful Raestrao was not.

"What is it like, to say goodbye in your world?" He asked the Mika of his dreams. He could see her, sitting on the floor beside him, knees pulled up and arms curled around them as she stared at the flower with him. "Demons just disappear in the Abyssal Plains, to dwell in Limbo forever. I've lost so many here."

"I've lost too. Especially now." She turned to him, her jeans, blouse, and vest morphing into a dress of black, her eyes shadowed with sorrow.

"No." Uzaeris shook his head. "Not you. Don't let it touch you. The sorrow will eat you whole." He gave a little laugh, pressing a fist to his temple. "I didn't do it, did I? No. I didn't do this to you. Aomaris, Ezaeur…Yes, but not Andrew. I didn’t kill him. I didn’t…"

The mourning Mika considered him, studying his face, his profile. Uzaeris' eyes looked away. He tried to turn his head and he felt her hand on his chin, guiding him to look back where she now knelt beside him.

"No. _You_ didn't." She stared at him intently.

"How do you know?” He gave another shaky laugh. “How are you so sure? I'm not. I've wanted you for so very long. The magic… our magic." He swallowed the bitter ball in his throat.

"I know." Her image wavered beside him, her youth returning once more as she laid a hand on his knee.

Distracted, Uzaeris reached for the ribbon tied around her throat, his fingertips catching the end. He slowly tugged it, watching the bow shrink and undo, pulling it from her collar to wind it about his hand. She gave him the shy look she'd given him in the dining room and knelt between his knees as he stared down at her.

"Mika," he whispered, surprised. He could feel her hand run over him, his body responding to strain towards her. Her breath whispered against him and he dropped his head back. _I must be mad._ There was no lover now to lend a physicality to the fantasy. _Do I care?_   He could still taste Mika's energy on the air. Uzaeris’ own hand slid down into his lap to stroke.

The other, with her ribbon, he pressed to his lips as he cried out, feeling her take him into her mouth. Her lips were gentle and sweet. Shy exploration built into a steady confidence as she explored his length, her soft tongue gliding.

He spread his legs, hooking a thigh over one of the chair’s arms as her mouth grew hungrier. His hips were lifting to meet her in an undulating rhythm, her hair brushing his lower belly as she sucked him.

“Yesss,” Uzaeris hissed, dropping his hand to catch her hair up in his fist with the ribbon. He lived to bring his Queen pleasure, but Mika? She hummed happily as she pleasured _him_ , feasting on him even as he drew in her magic, consuming her residual energy from the portal. She couldn’t give enough. Her fingers dug into his hips, her head bobbing in time with his thrusts, her tongue lapping at him deep within the wetness of her mouth.

“Mika!” Her teeth grazed him, his nails lightly scratching, and he cried her name out. It was the first time it had ever passed his lips, the first time he admitted his desire of her out into the open air. Shame colored his cheeks, but his heel pressed into the broken shards on the floor, his strokes firm and fast as the pressure built.

She drew him into the back of her throat and Uzaeris couldn’t hold out any longer. His release hit him, his body tense and arching back over the chair, another cry sounding from his lips as he gave it up. Trembling, he heard it hit the floor and gasped before dropping back down. His body covered in sweat, he fought to catch his breath.

Mika stood and looked lovingly down on him. She climbed onto his lap and turned her head to rest it against his shoulder, once more his innocent. “Uzaeris, you didn’t hurt me. You’ve never hurt anyone,” she murmured and he could feel her breath on his neck.

“Raestrao,” he quietly admitted. Not to mention the hundreds of hearts his bed-play had broken.

“Yes. You did hurt him, though not in the way he thinks you did.” She looked up at him, reaching to brush the tangled hair from his face. “And you know why.”

“I didn’t mean it. I didn’t want any of this… Not really.” He leaned his head against hers. Tears welled and Uzaeris blinked, only to feel them hit his chest. He was alone once more. No doubt she ran from his lie.

“I’m sorry. I tried.” He whispered to the empty room and remembered.

*

“Raestrao believes me to be the whore and you to have fallen victim to my charms.” Uzaeris entered the small bedroom where his Queen awaited him. Ezaeur was not in the bed. Instead, she stood at the window, looking out. Much as his brother might think otherwise, Uzaeris never touched her except to try and comfort her. He wasn’t that much of a beast.

“He truly never knew me.” She gave a grim laugh, “To think I am so weak.”

The incubus looked down for a moment, not answering as he leaned back against the wall beside the window. It was true. She would never be so weak as to want one such as him for her Lord.

“He will not come after you,” he continued. “We’ve hurt his pride too much. It would be humiliating for him to come following, begging for your return.”

“Free.” Ezaeur ran a hand along the windowsill as she looked down at the flowers in the castle’s garden. It was where she’d played as a child, where she’d dreamed, where she’d met a young guard one morning as she wove flowers into chains. They had been strewn across her lap and she’d made a crown, placing it upon his head as he smiled at her. “It’s too late.”

Uzaeris gave her a sidelong look, studying her sadly. There was nothing more he could do to help. It was too late for him as well. Aomaris was gone, his other brothers a world away, and now he could never go back home.

“My Lady.” A guard appeared at the door. “The Queen requires your presence. The other leaders of the rebellion have sent messengers requesting aid in the fight against the Demon Lord.” The guard went down on one knee, head bowed. It seemed strange to Uzaeris, to see the livery and not see Saero within it, kneeling to his mistress.

 _That’s right. Here, in the Kingdom of Lilith, Ezaeur’s mother is Queen and her father the Lord._ Uzaeris himself really was only a Prince. _An Heir, like Raestrao, but of the Consort’s chair._

Ezaeur turned back to him. Her eyes were no longer lost in memories, instead, regaining their focus. “I would have my revenge, Uzaeris.” She growled the words, anger finally taking the place of the sorrow, the loss feeding it. “He will pay. There will be no more Demon Lords of the Abyssal Plains.”

“Are you sure?” Uzaeris wasn’t a coward, but his father had never lost a battle. Skirmishes, yes; but the larger fights that won wars, that conquered Kingdoms? Never.

“Do not question me again.” She sounded like Raestrao and the incubus felt a pang of regret.

“Of course I will.” It was the same answer he always gave. He shrugged off her glare as easily as he had his brother’s.

“And Raestrao?” he asked softly, turning around to look out the window with her so the guard wouldn’t hear. When the time came, Uzaeris wasn’t sure he could fight him.

Ezaeur sighed. “Your brother will not fight against your father. It cannot be helped. He has made his choice.”

“And you have made yours.” He looked down at the garden. The flowers were well tended, tall and proud, their blooms facing up into the sunshine.

“Can you honestly look me in the face and tell me to do otherwise?” She stared at him, incredulous.

“No, my father must be stopped. But do not ask me to fight my own brother, Ezaeur.” Uzaeris met her eyes. He sacrificed his life to protect her. He would use his magic for her; he would remain at her side, a false Prince, for as long as she would have him; but he couldn’t fight Raestrao. He never wanted to admit that his brother deserved the fate of their father.

She almost did ask him. He could see the question, the demand in Ezaeur’s eyes. Even though he had given up everything to bring her back here, gave up any chance he had left to reach and change Raestrao, she would see this only as a gift to him. Generosity to the whore.

Instead, she commanded him: “Sleep well tonight,” before turning away and striding to the door. She paused to look back. “We leave for the battlefield at dawn.”

Ezaeur left him, the guard following her out, closing the door behind them. They were Lady and Prince in title alone; she made that absolutely clear. Briefly, he wondered what it would feel like to sleep in an empty bed.

 _What did I choose?_ Uzaeris asked himself as he watched the sun slowly set.

 

Months later, the battle was fierce. The leaders of the Rebels were attempting to spread the Demon Lord’s troops thin. Uzaeris stood beside his Lady, a cliff their vantage point as they watched the fight in the valley beneath them. Occasionally, he would send out his magic: magenta tendrils that would trip or hold or block in an attempt to aid without wearing his energy too thin. He might need it.

They weren’t the main battle, however; they were just the distraction. He could see how it chafed Ezaeur. She wanted nothing more than to fly out and wreak havoc; a demonic Valkyrie slaying her enemies, cutting the Demon Lord down. A volley of well-aimed crossbow bolts took the opportunity from her. She was alright, but she wouldn’t spread her wings again in this battle.

“My Lady, they’re attacking Lilith Castle!” The guard was breathless as he dropped from the Queen’s gate to the ground, injured and bleeding. Smeared with soot, he reeked of smoke.  
  
“What?!” Ezaeur turned to Uzaeris, her eyes wide with panic. It was a tactic they hadn’t foreseen, thinking the Demon Lord’s troops tied to the front. “I have to go. My father, mother, Odette…” Her voice cracked.

“Go!” Uzaeris looked up from where he crouched, healing the bleeding demon. “Take the troops with you.”

“There aren’t enough guards!” The Demon Lord had chosen the best time to strike at them. She looked back at the field, at the chaos of the war. The dead littered the ground, their demonic bodies wouldn’t fade until dawn’s next light. Was that what her home looked like now? “He wants us to pull back.”

“Go!” Uzaeris rose, calling up his own magic to supplement Ezaeur's.

“Uzaeris…” She looked back over the valley, fear freezing her in place, and he turned as well. In the distance, they saw a fierce flash of green and red suddenly light the horizon, followed by a burst of gold. A roar, a wall of rumbling sound hit them, swaying them, knocking the warriors beneath them to the ground. Uzaeris met Ezaeur’s eyes and paled.

_Aomaris._

_Raestrao._

_The true battle had begun._

“I have to go back.” Ezaeur backed away from him, conflicting emotions warring on her face as she questioned her decision.

“Go, Ezaeur. Save them.” Uzaeris looked back over his shoulder, gold and green lighting the sky. His heart dropped; an entire battlefield stretched before him, between him and them. “Take as many as you can.”

“And you?” he heard her ask. Uzaeris blinked at the worry he found in her eyes. A small part of him marveled at the gift she revealed. _She cares. She cares about me._

“I’ll be fine.” He called a gate for her, sending her home with the guards around them before she could say another word, before he dropped off the ledge.

Out on the battlefield, Uzaeris ran, dodging blades and crossbow bolts. Dual lines of tendrils burst from the ground in a wave, cutting a swath for him as he ran between them. Gate after gate came to life with his power, blooming on the ground beneath the fighters’ feet to pull the Army of Lilith back to their castle as he passed. He struggled to send as many as he could, struggled to run faster.

_Damn you, Aomaris. You knew. You knew you’d fight Raestrao._

Aomaris, the Dragon Lord of the rebels as the troops were calling him, had made sure to send his older brother to the furthest corner of the map. Ezaeur had been complicit, thinking she’d fly to join the fight. They had known Uzaeris wouldn’t be able to stand by. _It’s too far._

_**There will be no more Demon Lords of the Abyssal Plains.** _

Ezaeur’s vow echoed in Uzaeris’ thoughts. The grit from the dust kicked up by the fighting stung his eyes. The echoing metallic clangs of swords and shields couldn’t drown out the thunder of the two brothers in battle, still too far away.

Hundreds of leagues across the plains, Ezaeur fought for her own family.

 _Please. Please, don’t let me be too late,_ Uzaeris thought fiercely.

But he was.

Both of them were.

 _I will not be too late this time._ Uzaeris pushed himself up out of his chair, swaying for a moment on his cut feet. The pain cleared his mind, helping to sober him from the memories. A pulse of healing magic and his wounds closed. _I will not leave you._ He almost died when he saw Mika staring at those pills; when he feared the worst of her thoughts, her coming deeds. _I’ve failed them, but I will not fail you_.

Uzaeris gathered his magic about him, his and the power he’d inherited from Ezaeur. Once more, he felt his glamour wrap about him. Once more, he became Erik. On the other side of the gate, he could feel Mika. She was home, the night making her bedroom dark. Sometime during his remembrances, she had returned. Her energy beckoned him. The waves, now fainter, lapped at his skin beneath his clothes, bringing him to life.

Erik took a deep breath and stepped into the human world.

*

Mika’s anxiety returned as she looked back up at the mansion. The sun was low but not yet setting; the days were getting longer. The weather had shifted yet again to give the evening a chill edge. It wasn’t the only thing to send shivers down her back as she stared up at the door, the limo driver pulling away behind her, leaving her.

 _This is ridiculous; it’s my home. Matthew would probably recommend ghost hunting or something if he were here._ She gave a small smile at the thought of the CTO in night vision goggles, trying to talk the ghosts into saying something into an old tape recorder. _Or, he’d consider it prime prank material._ Mika shook her head. _There is no way I’m telling him about this, he’d never let me live it down._ She shifted her purse higher on her shoulder and started climbing the front stairs when the light came on.

 _Shit!_ She froze, staring. _Is it on a timer? A motion sensor?_

_Andrew?_

Mika dug for her keys, almost dropping her purse in the process. _Just run straight up the stairs. Don’t stop, just go._ She hurried to the door and her shoes hit something, making her almost jump out of her skin.

 _Shit!_ Only to see a flat, long white box on the ground at her threshold. Heart pounding, she gaped at it for a moment. _What the…?_ She picked it up, noticing how light it felt. There was a faint rustle inside as she tilted it and cautiously opened it.

She was surprised by the two yellow roses, their stems wrapped together with a gold ribbon. There was a card attached, hand-tied to them with a perfect bow. Her name was written across the envelope in a neat, fine script. _Miss Anderson._

 _Flowers._ Mika blinked and looked over her shoulder. She didn’t see James sitting on his porch as he had been last night. A lamp was lit within the front window of his home. Mika’s cheeks flared. _I must really look like an idiot, freaking out on my front steps. Again! Ugh… Please don’t let him be watching._

Mika entered the mansion and ran up the stairs, following her original plan to avoid the foyer as much as she could. Once safe in her bedroom, she kicked off her shoes and set the box down on the table, opening it once more.

 _Miss Anderson._ The envelope beckoned. Curious, she opened it.

 _I apologize for my previous obtrusion. Please, accept this as a token of friendship and perhaps allow me to attempt to make amends?_  
_I await your reply._  
_Most sincerely,_  
_James_

 _He brought me flowers_. She had been surrounded by them all day, avoiding them. All of their messages were about Andrew, full of regrets and born of remorse. But James’ card was an apology, an offering, and a hope to build a friendship. He’d given his condolences last night; if he were going to continue to, he would have added it to this card. It was like a breath of fresh air. A part of her world was moving on.

Mika bit her lip. There was a vase already on the table, a handful of daisies within. They were left by the cleaning service, an extra touch Andrew had insisted they pay for, wanting her to be able to wake up to flowers every morning. The roses seemed to fit with them, rising up from the center of the white petals. _I am an epic fail as a florist,_ she thought to herself as she realized they kind of stuck out but she liked it.

 _Still… Does he mean something more?_ She couldn’t help but wonder. James was a gentleman: educated, well-spoken, and collected. He seemed to be living alone like she was. But his actions were also very deliberate. She had no doubt he chose the color of the roses for a very clear message. A token of friendship, not romance. A part of her jumped at that thought. In excitement? In sadness? _What am I thinking?_ But she knew exactly what she was thinking: James was attractive.

_No! No.no.no.no.no. You only just returned from Andrew’s funeral._

**You’ll find another. He’s even better than me; if you can believe it.**

_Oh, Andrew_. Mika dropped down on the bed, snatching up a pillow and hugging it, letting herself cry a little more.

If there was one thing she knew, it was that Andrew wanted her to go on. Today, Matthew had helped her realize that going on didn’t mean going through life in perpetual mourning and sadness. She wasn’t alone. Matthew would be there for her when she went to the office tomorrow. And James, James was offering to be here for her now. _Even with how weird I was last night._

Mika rose and read the card again. It wasn’t something you wrote to someone you thought was crazy and definitely wasn’t some sort of poetic confession of love. It had more of the feel of an old fashioned invitation.

 _A social engagement,_ she gave a dry chuckle.  _Why not?_ She wasn’t even remotely tired and wasn’t happy at the idea of staying locked up in this room. And she definitely wasn’t ready to go back out into the house and start exploring or worse, dealing with Andrew’s things. She would just change and go accept James’ invitation.

She would move on, just a little bit, and make a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit:  
> Lost - Gareth Emery (feat. Janet Devlin)  
> https://youtu.be/E7C8gHkp_vM


	12. Close friends of mine are in disbelief as they can see what's underneath.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear and delight all the way through the night.

Mika stepped outside, the breeze rustling her long skirt over her sandals, a cardigan thrown over her blouse. She'd kept her hair down, brushing it back from her face with one hand as she walked across the street. She could see James' light was still on, his front door open to let the fresh air in through the screen door. Walking up the porch steps, the wood of the old Victorian house creaked beneath her feet. She could smell the flowers he’d planted earlier, peonies. She quickly leaned over and pressed the doorbell, seeing his shadow approaching from the back of the house.

"Miss," He saw her at the door and his eyes warmed as he smiled. "Please come inside."

"James, I, ah, I got your card." Mika suddenly felt a little awkward, a little overwhelmed as he opened the screen and ushered her in. She passed by him while he held the door. He wasn't wearing his sweater or tie, the top buttons of his shirt undone to hang open at his throat. Obviously, he'd been relaxing. "Thank you for the flowers." 

His home was nice. Everything had an older charm to it that she hadn't expected. Wing backed chairs, a love seat, antique wood furniture arranged around carpets on the hardwood, and of course books. They were set here and there. The shelves on the walls were packed.

"You are very welcome." He watched her with amusement as she curiously looked about. "Please, make yourself comfortable. Would you care for something to drink?" He stepped towards the hall at the back of the room that Mika assumed led to the kitchen. "More tea?"

She cringed inside, remembering the night before and how rude she'd been. "Um,"

"Wine?" He continued, his back to her.

"I could use the wine," she admitted.

James glanced over his shoulder at her, his look turning sympathetic. "Then wine it is."

Not wanting to leave him to serve her, Mika followed. The kitchen had a similar feel: heavy wood, an older charm. It was somewhere she'd expect to see a pair of grandparents living rather than James. Several china settings hung in a hutch to one side, a metal teapot on the stove. There were some of the peonies from his garden in a Mason jar on the kitchen island.

"I hope I'm not interrupting or anything." She saw his phone on the table. Mika folded her arms, turning back to see him pull a corkscrew from a drawer.

"Not at all, quite the contrary, Miss. I'm happy to have the company. Red? White?" His hand hovered at a cabinet door, wine glasses within.

"White." Mika forced herself to drop her arms and try to relax. "Can I help?"

"That depends." He studied her and Mika felt herself blushing. "Are you hungry?"

"You don't have to bother."

"It is not a bother." He leaned over to look a little closer at her. "Have you eaten?" Mika's blush deepened. James' tone, his words purred in her ears even though he, himself, was casual.

"Not really." She swallowed, her mouth dry before she even had a taste of the wine.

James nodded and moved to the refrigerator. "Then you may help me." He brought back a bottle and a small block of white cheese. "Something light, or would you prefer dinner?"

"I couldn't impose." She wasn't sure she could eat much even if she wanted to. He raised a brow. "Dinner is a bit much," she admitted.

"Then I will keep it light." He set a small cutting board on the island in front of her, placing the cheese and a knife. A bread box revealed a couple of baguettes.

Mika gratefully started cutting some slices as he moved about. Grapes and a pear were also placed. He wrapped the bottle in a cloth napkin and pulled the cork from it.

"About your card," Mika tried to shove away her shyness.

"Yes?"

"You didn't do anything wrong to need to make amends."

James paused as he poured, a slight curl to his lips. "Maybe not."

"Still, I don't want you to feel like you have to."

"Miss-"

"Mika, please call me Mika." She interrupted but pushed on. "Miss feels so distant and we're going to be friends, right?"

"Alright, Mika." And he did smile as he handed her a glass. He raised his own towards hers. "To new friends."

The wine, the food, the conversation, all of it was comfortable. The two of them sat at the kitchen table, James lighting some candles. 

"There is a light switch." Mika chuckled, biting into a slice of the cheese.

"A force of habit," he shrugged. "And it feels more comfortable to me."

"It has its charm," she admitted. "Andrew never used candles unless it was a big occasion." It just slipped out. She had been trying not to mention him at all and had been succeeding. _Damn_

James saw her face fall. "Mika, I was married once, a long time ago," he admitted. Looking down, his long fingers slid from the stem of his glass to rest flat on the wood tabletop.

"You... You were?" She was surprised and yet not. He was older than her, almost thirty.

"Yes. Diana and I, we didn't work out." He used the human phrase, feeling his own remorse.

"James, I'm sorry." Mika found herself resting her hand atop his and he looked back up at her, pleasantly surprised.

"Thank you. It was more of a family arrangement, more for our parents, than either of us."

"Oh." Mika wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"We tried to make it work, but, she left me for someone else."

"I'm sorry, I can’t imagine…" Mika couldn't imagine what it must be like. Andrew and she were so close; that would have never happened. They were going to have a family.

James turned his hand to take hers. "There is nothing to be sorry for. You did not cause it and sadly, Diana passed away after she left me. Regardless, I do not imagine we would have ever reconciled. I," James paused, taking a deep breath. "I am learning to move on and I understand a little of how you feel. You can talk about Andrew if you would like. I know it hurts but he is someone you should not forget."

"I won't forget him." Mika pulled her hand away, quickly picking up her glass and drinking almost half, pushing away the tears that threatened. "And you have my condolences too."

"That is very kind of you." He seemed as solemn as she and Mika hastened to change the subject.

"So what do you do?" She took a slice of bread to nibble. She would need to eat more with the wine she was drinking.

James picked up the bottle, refilling both their glasses. "I am an executive. I've held a number of leadership roles."

Mika nodded. She'd met several with her father. You could tell. James' presence, tone; he definitely had the charisma and confidence. "Where?"

"My family's business, for the most part, but I'm currently on sabbatical and interested in something more." He set the bottle back down and met her eyes. "You?"

"I just graduated from veterinary school."

"Oh?" He looked her over, impressed. "That is a very fine profession. It fits you well: caring, compassionate, intelligent."

Mika couldn't help but glow a bit from his praise. No one had ever said it to her in that way before. "Thank you. I was hoping to start my residency at one of the local stables."

"Was? Why wouldn't you?" James reached for the pear and knife. Mika suddenly realized she was eating everything as she spoke and he kept cutting pieces of bread or cheese for her, without eating himself.

"Please eat, James. It's very good."

"I am." He smiled and offered her a slice of pear from the knife, before cutting one for himself. Mika took it and bit into the crisp sweetness, watching him try it, too. It made her feel a little less guilty. "But answer my question. Why wouldn’t you have your residency?" He set the knife down on the board, more cut fruit beside it.

Mika took a deep breath. "Well, I guess if anyone would understand, it would be you." He raised a brow but didn't say anything as he bit into another slice. "My family's company, Anderson toys, Andrew was CEO and now..."

"Now?" he gently inquired.

"My father's insisting I take the role." Mika took a deep breath and leaned back, anxious as she realized she would be facing her dad again, tomorrow. "I inherited the majority share when Andrew died. It used to be between the two of them. I don’t think he knows.

“Funny, dad always said Andrew wasn't CEO material, but the company has thrived and grown more than we'd ever imagined in the last four years. We're branching out into new businesses and our charity, The Harold Anderson Foundation, has been able to build hospitals, homes, and schools. It's been really amazing." Mika smiled, thinking of how much Andrew had surprised them all. He would always just shrug and say he owed it to his team, but it had to have been more than that.

"I don't know anything about being a CEO.” She shook her head, sipping her wine again. “I don't want to ruin it. There's just so much at stake."

"Mika, you are a strong and capable woman." James’ tone was almost chiding and she looked back at him, unsure. "You might surprise yourself. But, if you would like, I could take a look around."

"You mean consult?" She wasn’t expecting that.

"Yes."

Relief flooded her. Between Matthew and now James, maybe everything wasn't hopeless. If she could keep her father out of it... But at the same time, James did not seem the type to let David Anderson push him around. _It couldn't hurt, could it?_ She could at least consider it tomorrow, maybe even bring the thought up to Jared.

"I'll think about it."

"Consider me at your disposal." James smiled in support as he sat back, too. "But tell me about your residency."

The anxiety slowly cleared from Mika as she told him about Tempel. She grew more animated as she described the white stallions, the Lipizzans, bred and trained in the classic style. That she would be a part of it, that she could work with such rare and elegant beasts, made her glow. Her energy flowed like the wine and their conversation with it.

Mika sipped the last in her glass and looked over, realizing the bottle was empty. The candles had burned lower, the world outside dark beyond the windows.

"I have another bottle, if you'd like." James rose to his feet, noticing his remiss.

"I really shouldn't; I have work tomorrow," Mika apologized, standing herself. It was late; they'd talked for hours. The room shifted a little beneath her feet and she realized she felt warmer than she should. The wine was hitting her despite all of the food.

"Of course. And it would hardly be appropriate for us to overindulge," James added, stepping back.

Mika looked up at him. A part of her wanted to overindulge. His cheeks were flushed, much as she knew her own were; his look, one of warm regard. Briefly, she wondered what James drunk was like; what it would be like to see him let go.

She wondered what it would be like to overindulge in him.

Mika felt her blush deepen and saw him notice. He reached up and took his glasses off. It seemed intimate and the way he looked at her… She blinked as another rush of heat came over her. His eyes flashed gold, filling hers with him and only him.

James stepped towards her, leaning down to very deliberately lift her chin and kiss her. Mika gasped as her body flooded with want, her thoughts scattering, her mind blanking. Her eyes dropped closed and she kissed him back, losing herself. He slid her sweater off and pulled her into his arms as they reached for each other, mouths crushing together, hands groping. His kisses covered her chin, her throat. He pulled her blouse up and off, his mouth seeking her breasts above her bra.

Lifting her up against him, the two slammed from wall to wall down the hall as Mika hiked her legs around his waist. James held her hips and bit her collarbone making her moan. He pulled her down on top of him and they dropped to the carpet in the living room , within the circle of light from the lamp. Rolling to lie over her, James leaned down, kissing a path down her body, shoving her skirt up to her waist.

Mika gasped for breath, amazed and overcome as her underwear was swept away. James' head came down between her legs as he lifted her thighs up over his shoulders. She cried out, his tongue probing, his mouth sucking. She was panting as he explored her intimately. Her legs spread, her feet slid off of him to press flat on the floor, letting Mika raise her hips to him with abandon. Her hands buried themselves in his hair as he went down on her. Her body was on fire and James' mouth hungrily consumed her, working her up as she tossed her head, her body tightening.

She felt his tongue slide deep inside, curling and lapping. His nose brushed her and he hummed, a deep rumble that hit her like a wave and had her weak and mewling. His hands gripped her ass, holding her up to him as he knelt for her. Mika couldn’t think, couldn’t speak as he brought her to a flooding, shuddering orgasm and he drank from her. Every inch of her was overwhelmed and glorious as she dropped breathless on his floor, an arm over her eyes. His pleasant chuckle filled her ears...

"Please, allow me to walk you home."

Mika blinked as she heard him, realizing they were still standing in the kitchen. The empty wine bottle sat on the table. James was watching her from a distance, unsure, waiting for her answer.

 _A dream? Another hallucination? The intensity was so strong!_ The feeling was so real, her body felt like it was still shivering in reaction. Yet here they were, fully clothed, his hair impeccable. He’d never even taken his glasses off.

"Um, yes, please." She answered weakly, sure she was flushing an even brighter red. He didn’t seem upset, instead smiling and offering she walk ahead of him. James, still the gentleman, held the door for her and then stepped up beside her.

Mika walked slowly, still recovering, seeing him give her a curious sidelong glance. He took her hand to help her up the front stairs of her home, guiding her up before him to bring her to eye level before pausing.

“Mika, I brought you yellow roses today."

She nodded, seeing an intensity in his eyes that reminded her of her fantasy.

"There may come a time in the future, once we know each other better, that they are red." He studied her as Mika realized what he was saying. "Does the thought of it make you uncomfortable?"

She was struck by his inquiry. "I..."

"Your friendship is very valuable to me. I just wonder if I should allow this thought to linger as well."

"It is a very kind thought," Mika admitted, her heart pounding. Her mind felt foggy; she couldn’t piece one thought together with the next. All she knew was it was too soon. _Way too soon._ "One I’m not ready to answer yet, James.”

“I understand. It was rather insensitive of me to bring it up at such a time.” He moved to turn away and Mika held up her hand to stop him.

“Please, the thought is attractive, but I loved Andrew. I can’t say it won’t happen to me again, that I won’t find another, but it’s too soon. He’s in my heart and perhaps one day, someone else will be there with him. I wish I could say yes, but I won’t commit. I’m sorry.”

“I am not. I appreciate your honesty and I admire you for it. It has been a long time since I’ve even considered another relationship.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” James gave her a warm smile that helped calm her a little. “Perhaps that was why I was so untoward.”

“I’m very flattered,” she admitted.

“And I am humbled. Let’s give it time. I would like to have dinner with you if that would be agreeable? Friday? We can get to know each other better.”

“I think I would like that." Mika nodded, relieved. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” James waited while she let herself in.

Mika walked through her home in a pleasant daze, suddenly feeling exhausted. She pulled her water bottle from the refrigerator, drinking deeply before climbing the steps to her bedroom. The loss of Andrew still hurt, but finding James… her heart gave a small leap. She drank a little more to fend off a morning hangover and pulled off her clothes, the room starting to spin. Dropping into bed, she fell asleep beside the vase with James’ roses.

James turned away to walk slowly back to his own home. Pleased and satiated, his energy was high once more. He reached his porch and turned to look back, watching Mika's lights go out. He thoroughly enjoyed himself tonight and he knew she did, too.

He could still taste her. 

*

Erik stepped through the gate to find Mika asleep in bed. He noticed the roses beside her and frowned. The scent of James lingered, weaker, but she’d been with his brother. Once again her energy was depleted.

Mika tossed on the bed and he froze. She gripped the sheets, small sounds of distress escaping her. _She’s dreaming. No, it’s a nightmare._ Erik moved closer, unsure. She tossed again, her breathing rapid. Her legs kicked out and she sobbed, one hand reaching over the bed, searching the empty side.

"Nooo." It was such a quiet scream. “Uhn, no. Stop!" She rolled again, this time away from him, almost violently, the sheets falling away from her. "No!" Erik felt the house itself shake as she screamed out loud.

A wall of magic hit him, churning in the air and his mage sight kicked in. Her power was pouring off of her, roiling in a strong dark wave that curled up the corners of the room. The current swirled, trying to get past the door. It hit his magic and ignited in a shower of purple and gold sparks, exploding as he threw a shield up to protect himself. Instead, it ignited over her.

“Mika!” Erik reached for her as she shot straight up in the bed, eyes still closed, still trapped in sleep.

"Iz-!" She howled and Erik caught her wrist, wrapping his shields around both of them. She broke off before the name could sound, before she could call him. The feeling of her power caught, frozen, waiting on edge. "Damien," she whispered into the dark. Her head tilted to the side, considering. "No. Erik."

She said his name and Erik's eyes went wide in shock. Her hand suddenly twisted in his grasp, her fingers snatching his wrist. She yanked him with a strength like Sam, pulling him onto the bed with her, pulling him into her arms as she fell back once more, tugging at his power. He lost his hold on the world and Erik plunged into her dream.

 _The mansion._ He was still in her home, at the far end of the hall. The air was hazy with a purple fog. _Her power..._ It was pouring down the walls, coating every surface. _Her dreams shouldn’t feel like this._ A horrifying cackle shrieked and echoed through the house and Erik spun.

"No! Get out of my house!" Mika commanded and the building shuddered around him, plaster dropping. A crack formed, running down the wall away from him. He put a hand out and the paint was warm, the building almost breathing beneath his palm.

"Yer a mouthy bitch, ain't ya? You think your little boy toys are gonna make it here this time?"

 _Malix._ Erik's gut dropped. He'd saved her from such a nightmare before, him and Izroul, before his brother finally killed the devil.

Erik took off running down the hall. He hit the balcony, turning to go down the stairs and skidded to a stop, reeling as he balanced on the edge. The staircases were torn away, broken wood and metal hanging down beneath his feet and stabbing up from the floor. The foyer was in ruins.

The plaster was crumbling off the walls to reveal ragged brick. Dirty concrete flowed out from the marble tile, past where the front doors should have been. Instead, the torn remains of the door frame opened into a broad empty warehouse.

The stain of spray paint dripped in vulgar words down the mansion's elegant wallpaper. It ran from where he stood, into the devils' lair. Graffiti, marring the space he recognized and leading where Malix and his gang had once brought Mika after kidnapping her.

_Stupid cunt. Welcome to Hell. He's dead and so are you. No one cares, Bitch._

"Not so feisty this time, are you?" Malix laughed again. "I'm gonna enjoy this. Too bad those fucking pussies aren't here to see it."

A bright lavender flash filled the space with the chime of magic and the devil grunted in pain. Erik recognized Harold’s magical signature on the air.

"They're coming. They'll stop you, again." Mika was fighting against the devils. He had to get down there.

Malix's laughter echoed, Erik using the sound to hide that of his jump, aiming for an open patch of floor. He barely made it, stumbling on the tile just beyond the jagged steel.

"Oh, you think Sam will come? That asshole's deader than your human excuse of a husband. Oh wait, that's right, he left your ass before the altar! You shoulda propped him up for the ceremony."

"Shut up!" Mika sobbed.

Erik moved carefully, trying not to be distracted, staying behind the concrete pillars supporting the warehouse's roof. He could see a deep red glow, could hear the shuffling of feet. He moved around another of the pillars only to stop and step back into its shadow as he finally saw them.

Mika stood in a black spray painted circle on the floor. Its lines glowed a sickly red around her. She was encased in a flickering purple shield, wavering on her feet. Harold's protections. But they were thinning, swirling like a bubble getting ready to pop. The magic was faltering. Mika wasn't aware of the power around her, the energy she could tap into for defense as well as to attack.

Malix strode up to the edge, one hand flipping a black dagger. He looked older, meaner, with ragged black jeans belted around his hips and his combat boots spiked and caked with dried, flaking blood. A semi-circle of other devils stood behind him, shifting in the shadows, watching and snickering.

Eris was among them. She was smiling nastily as another devil stood behind her, his hands up her shirt, his mouth on the back of her neck. She and Malix had both grown stronger, Erik observed. The lesser devils were rushing to laugh at his abuse, to garner their attention.

"Just take it, Malix." She commanded and the devil looked back, seeing the one handling her and snarling. The lesser dropped back, making her frown in annoyance. "Take her fucking power and let's get out of here, before someone notices."

"Someone notices? Who the fuck's gonna notice? The bitch is drugged to the fucking moon."

Erik blinked as the devil sneered. He saw Mika flinch, her arms hugging herself as she crouched in the shrinking shield.

"It's almost too easy!" The devil eyed Mika, pulling another blade from the back of his belt. "Oh, no. I'm going to go slow this time. She's gonna pay for what that little Bastard did to me. And he can find the pieces when I'm done. Or at least some of them." He cackled again, his minions chuckling behind him.

"Stay away from me!" Mika shrieked. She tried stepping back, only to cry out in pain as the circle flared and burned through the shreds of her shield. "He'll stop you. He’ll-” But she couldn't remember who "he" was.

"Almost." Malix's eyes narrowed with a snicker. “You almost had him. This is just too sweet... They're so busy trying to fuck the energy from you, they don't even notice what's really happening. And you can't remember shit, can you, Bitch?"

Erik's eyes widened. _Is this a dream or something more? Can I break her from this?_ Her energy was permeating through everything. It had the feel of limbo, like where his room had been, between their two worlds. Was this a space created by Mika's magic and attached by the tenuous threads of her will? He could see her weakening, could see something wasn’t right. If it truly was real, they could be trapped here. Even as a dream, it could still harm her.

"Leave me and them alone!" Mika tried raising her hands, tried calling an attack, only to have it shatter in her hands. She dropped to her knees. The shield was only a flicker.

"It's almost sad, how much they've fucked you and your life up.” Malix turned around, spreading his arms wide in demonstration. “You see, boys? And they call us bad!" He turned back and leaned in closer, just at the other side of the circle, Mika cringing away. "Those pretty boys, they've wrecked you,” the devil whispered fiercely. “Just like any human they touch."

"That is enough." Erik stepped out from the shadows. His eyes flared magenta and tendrils rose from the ground to writhe in the air around him. He threw a shield over Mika and their magic sparked again, making her cry out and the lesser devils flinch and step back.

_No! My magic, I can’t cast on her._

"Holy shit, is that the whore?!” Malix gave another cackle. “Hey cocksucker, long time no see!" He ran his blades against each other, the screech of metal and blood red sparks filling the air. "So someone did notice. What are you, sniffing around this bitch for your brother's sloppy seconds? Better hurry or the twerp will fuck her first."

"Shut your lying mouth," Erik growled, his magic flaring.

"Oh, ho! Lying? You're balancing on the edge, too. What is this, a fucking psycho convention? You should have what she's having. Or should have just fucked her while you had the chance. Nothing like watching you spread your diseases to your whole fucking family through this cunt."

Erik's power flared with his anger and Eris stepped up, a ring of dark energy forming around her as black flames. "Kill the girl and take her magic, Malix," she commanded, raising her hands.

"You heard her!" Malix laughed, his knives igniting with bright red pentagrams glowing on the blades.

 _Blood magic._ Erik fought his fear. Her energy had called him, and the devils too.

"You won't touch her!" Erik threw an ethereal blast and the devils scattered, Eris' shield snuffing out with the wave of power. Her eyes widened and she stepped back, quickly calling up another that Erik knocked down just as fast.

“He’s gotten stronger!” the female devil warned.

“Well so have I.” Malix dodged, but rather than go for Erik, he rushed the pentagram. Mika dodged the first swipe of his blades, brushing the circle’s walls again, gritting her teeth at the burning pain.

“No!” Erik threw all he had, a large tendril slamming up out of the floor to snatch at the devil, only to be blocked by Eris’ strike.

"Kiss your ass goodbye," Malix growled, reaching for Mika.

Erik threw another blast, calling a ring of tendrils around the female devil as Eris struggled against him. He ran for the circle.

Mika dodged again, grabbing Malix's wrist and twisting to force him to drop one of the blades. Her tae kwon do returned, the muscle memory leading her to grab his arm, pulling him off balance and wrenching it around, her foot kicking out at his knee to drop him to the floor as he tried to slash at her again.

"What? Bitch!" The devil rolled, almost pulling Mika down with him before she let go.

Erik couldn't cast directly on her, but he could still help Mika. His power slashed through the pentagram, dispelling it with a blood red flash. "Run, Mika!" He shouted, facing off with Malix.

"Run, Malix!" Eris commanded at the same time, turning about and heading for the shadows with the others. "We're done here."

Malix considered them, but he was outnumbered. "You think you won, bitch?" He glared at Erik. "I'm gonna love watching you ruin her. Too bad Sam isn't here to see it, ain't it? You're the best fucking drama in all the realms!" And then he was gone, his shrieking laughter echoing around them.

Erik rushed to Mika’s side, seeing her drop to the ground. She blinked up at him, her eyes dilated, her breathing ragged. “Who?” she whispered as the world faded away around them.

Mika held on to Erik tightly in the middle of her bed. She rest her head against his chest, finally quieting. "Erik, you’re back," she murmured, sleepily.

He clung to her, holding on like a drowning man. For now, it was over. "I’m here," he whispered back. "I’ve got you." It was where he always dreamed to be: hearing her sigh as she melted against him, safe in his arms and he in hers.

“Princess.”

Erik held her through the night but he left with the dawn. He couldn’t face her.

He would ruin her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit:  
> Fear & Delight - The Correspondents  
> https://youtu.be/ABS-mlep5rY


	13. It's been a long time coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunions

Mika sat back, reaching for the mug of coffee the admin maintained for her. She wasn’t sure how many times they’d refilled it, but she was grateful. She’d finally gotten rid of a headache she’d woke with, finally got past the wall of fatigue weighing her down. She’d enjoyed last night with James, still blushed at the weird daydream she had. Yet, she couldn’t help thinking that drinking wine after all the stress of yesterday had been a bad idea, especially when she had an empty stomach to start with. No wonder she felt so rough.

“This year’s financials show a significant upward trend as the company’s initiatives gain momentum.” The head of finance was ‘going through the company’s numbers’ for her. It was a brief summary that was already half an hour in. They’d sequestered her in this small conference room, no windows, and paraded individual after individual to meet with her ‘one on one’.

Mika blinked, finding herself falling asleep again. A small black notebook and pen were abandoned on the table in front of her as she realized she couldn’t understand enough to take notes yet. Her laptop had one set of slides while the flat screen projected another. _Because you can never have enough graphs. It’s as bad as the patronizing pictures that marketing put on everything for me instead of the straight information._ She hoped she could talk to Matthew about it. _I’m not an idiot; I just need someone to go through the basics at least once._

Speaking of Matthew, the executives were meeting in the boardroom down the hall. She’d met them in the hallway, Jared giving introductions, though she already knew most of them. Thankfully she didn’t need to join them. Yet, she groaned in her mind. Essentially, she now owned Anderson Toys; they just didn’t know it yet.

Her father was there, his usual disapproval apparent, but he shook her hand like the rest of them and finally smiled. “I know you’ll do well. Remember, you’re an Anderson.” It was a level of pride in her that she hadn’t seen from him in a long time.

“Thanks, Dad.” She didn’t care if it was immature, she hugged him anyway and he hugged her back to the smiles of the other executives.

“We are a family company,” Jared admitted, touched as she hugged him as well.

The door opened a crack and Mika quickly looked up to see an admin peering in. She begged the woman with her eyes to free her but only got a sympathetic smile before they held the door open. Matthew moved past his secretary and into the room, flashing a smile and thanking the woman kindly as even more coffee was provided.

 _He looks better,_ Mika thought with relief as he considered her. He straightened his tie and dropped down in the chair next to her with almost a flop, shoving his closed laptop away and giving her a grin. The CFO raised a brow, but Matthew waved to him to continue, pulling a pad of light blue post-its and a pen from his pocket.

 _‘Surviving?’_ he wrote, passing the note to her as the presenter scowled.

Mika grabbed her own pen. _‘Barely.’_

_‘Want me to save you?’_

She gave Matthew a sidelong glance and subtle nod, seeing his smug smile. It was good to see. He’d been out-of-sorts when they’d first met that morning. She’d thought he was smiling as she entered the reception area but the look he’d first given her, he’d frowned. He’d seemed upset, distracted, and terse as he directed the admins to set her up in her office and had IT in to get her a laptop, phone, and anything else she wanted. He’d demanded several other things she thought was overkill. She didn’t need to talk to her computer. She didn’t want a camera that would automatically pivot and follow the sound of her voice to video conference her anywhere.

 _‘What’ll you give me in return?’_ She read the next note. Now she did smile, seeing the dare in his eyes.

_‘My eternal gratitude.’_

_‘Too obvious’_

_‘Lunch?’_

_‘Too easy.’_ Mika could see he was enjoying this too much. The CFO rolled his eyes and kept talking, knowing neither was paying attention and used to it from Andrew.

 _‘A day off?’_ Technically, she was his boss.

 _‘You’re getting warmer.’_ Mika bit her lip as she heard him chuckle softly beside her. He leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Let’s just say you’ll owe me.”

 _‘Deal,’_ she quickly scrawled.

Matthew cleared his throat and the financier gave a sigh. “Yes?” He was already shutting down the presentation.

“I think I’ll give Mika a top-line of the three-year plan.” Matthew stood, opening his own laptop.

“Of course. I’ll leave the presentation with you, Ms. Anderson.” He was already halfway out the door, knowing the CTO would be at their daily review meeting at the end of the day.  
  
“Thank you!” Mika called after him before Matthew closed the door. “Oh, thank god. I feel bad cutting him off like that, but it was just so…”

“Boring?”

“Yes.” She bit her lip again and turned back to see even more slides up. “Wait, I thought you said you were saving me!”

“I did,” Matthew chuckled, stepping towards the large touchscreen. “From that guy. It’s my turn, now.”

“You have got to be joking.”

“For once, nope,” he gave a sympathetic grin. “But I’ll try to make this as painless as possible. Heh, be glad I’m the one they picked. You could have ended up with him all day.” He nodded his head towards the door and Mika sighed.

“Alright.” She sat up and pulled her notebook closer. “Do your worst.”

*

"In conclusion, we’re following a triad approach. Defense against the competition through licensing.” Matthew pulled a popular black and red mouse figure from his pocket. “Sound market presence through advertising.” he pulled a set of historical-looking postcards designed with the mouse and other popular Anderson toys from his other pocket. “And of course, new product innovation.” Mika was even more surprised, dropping the cards, as she saw him reach into her purse and draw out a small, white fluffy plushie. He handed it to her, ending the presentation.

“He’s so cute!” Mika studied the little stuffed animal, seeing it was some kind of hybrid between a bunny and a squirrel and way, way too cute.

“He?” Matthew smiled as she cooed over it.

“Of course it’s a he! I love him!“

He blinked as he saw how happy she was with it. “Really? What would you name him?” he asked, watching her closely.

Mika noticed his look but was used to it. It was the same look her grandfather and Andrew would get when she played with the toys. “Something classic and as cute as him. Like-” she wondered as she considered the doll and a name just dropped right into her head. “Simon Tabby.”

“Wha, why that name?” Matthew asked, quickly covering his shock. _The same name. She’s calling him the same name. Could she be remembering?_

“Well, Simon’s a nice classic name and Tabby for Talbot.” She gave him a curious tilt of her head. “You made him for me, after all.”

“Yeah, I did,” he admitted. It was ironic. He had chosen his last name so many years before from Simon’s.

“And it’s a little like a tabby cat.” She wrinkled her nose, peering into the doll’s eyes. “Can I keep it?”

“Uh, sure.” Matthew nodded.

“The presentation’s over?” Mika finally noticed as she put the doll down in her purse. Her notebook was full of notes. Matthew had managed to explain their main businesses and strategy in a way she could relate. The table was covered with a scattering of toys and other examples he’d shown her, pulling them out of his pockets like a magician.

“Yup. Those are our number one priorities: licensing, advertising, and innovation.” He answered, glad to get back onto familiar ground.

"All of them are your number one priority?" Mika raised a brow.

Matthew turned to lean across the table towards her, flashing his smile. "Actually, nothing is more important to me than you right now," he admitted, looking her in the eyes. It made a rush go through her to see his intensity. "You're my number one priority." He almost managed it with a straight face before finally breaking away with a chuckle and Mika couldn't help but laugh, the tension breaking.

"Another number one? You have way too many number ones."

"Better than number twos," he joked.

"That line sounds like a load of number two," she replied archly, lifting her nose up in the air.

"Not when it's you," he admitted before turning away and quickly closing his laptop. "Next item up on the agenda, lunch!"

"Lunch?" Mika looked over at her phone to realize it was already 1:30 pm. She'd completely missed it trapped in corporate Hell.

"Yeah. Come on, there's a great sushi place down the street." He beamed at her, offering his hand.

"Sushi?" She shook her head. "What about a simple hot dog? There’s a stand just down the street, too."

"Uh…"

"Come on, my treat. My grandfather used to take me there whenever he'd bring me to work." Mika smiled, shouldering her purse and tucking her new laptop under her arm before walking to the conference room door. "Just let me drop this off."

"Mmm, I think I'll just pass." Matthew gave an embarrassed shrug as he followed her out and back to her office. Thankfully, it wasn’t the same one that Andrew had.

"What? Why?" She was hoping to buy him lunch; it would at least be a small thank you.

"You really don't want to know what's in those," he cringed.

"Don't you dare spoil the magic for me, Talbot," Mika warned him before he could say anything more. She dropped her stuff off at her desk and pulled her purse closer. Her eyes narrowed, her grin turning sly for a moment before she turned back to him.

"Wait a minute. I know what you are." She stared in wonder.

"Really?" Matthew’s voice cracked with a bit of bewilderment as she came back around to the front of her desk.

"Oh yes, I remember. I definitely remember what you are, Matthew." Her energy rose, wrapping around him and filling his senses, hunger sparking in his belly. 

"You do?” He considered her. “Well," His mouth crooked into his own grin as he drawled the word. _Looks like the time for pretending might be over. Ezaeur’s spell must be broken._ He stepped towards her, trapping her between him and the desk. "I guess I shouldn't hide it anymore, then." His eyes dropped down to her lips.

"Hide it? Your appetite is very obvious," she laughed.

"And is it something you want to experience?" His voice deepened.

Mika leaned closer, enjoying it. "You, Matthew Talbot," she declared as her eyes met his once more, "Are a terrible food snob and I think you need to experience Chicago dining at its finest."

He blinked at her, surprised as she beamed at him. _She’s teasing me!_ It took him off guard and he mentally scrambled to change gears. "I believe the word is ‘connoisseur." He quickly moved away, shifting back into his playful mood, fighting the hunger she’d unwittingly unleashed upon him.

"Nope. Andrew told me.” Mika easily dodged past him and out the door. She looked back over her shoulder at him. “Food snob,” she sang as she left.

"Is that a technical term?" He quickly ran after her.

"God, even your vocabulary makes you sound stuck up," she laughed.

"I'm not stuck up!" He protested, calling after her. "I just like to cook and go out to nice restaurants."

“Food snob!” She sang as the elevator doors closed, cutting him off right before he could get on with her.

Matthew couldn’t help but laugh. He eyed the stairway for a second and then took off down it, meeting her at the bottom as she stepped off the elevator. “Alright, pizza?” he finally conceded.

“Now you’re talking.” Mika followed him out to his car. The receptionist watched them with an amused smile, talking with the other employees, all of them relieved to see the two happy.

*

“What are you doing to her?” Erik demanded, striding up the porch stairs of James’ new home. “Really Rae-” His brother’s head finally came up from his book, a warning look in his eyes. “James,” Erik practically spat the name. He’d expected wrath or demands, instead the Demon Lord was coldly indifferent at his appearance. _He’s been expecting me._ It only made him angrier.

“Erik.” James glanced out over the street. Only a few pedestrians were visible: a pair of mothers with their children, a teen running with his dog. He set his book down, turning to face the incubus with a set look. “I assume you are inquiring after Miss Anderson?”

“Mika was drugged senseless last night.” Erik’s accusation hung between them.

“And what exactly were you doing with her last night?” James stood, his own anger held in check, barely. “I warn you…”

“She, _her magic_ , called me again,” Erik snarled. _She’s always calling me. I can’t ignore it. I can’t stay away._ But he wouldn’t admit that to Raestrao. “It’s running rogue; her dreams...” Erik flushed as he realized he was confessing to walking in them but he had to know, he had to understand why. James indicated the chair beside him, but Erik refused to come any closer, staying at the top of the stairs, trying not to pace.

“Stay out of her dreams.” James narrowed his eyes. _She was fine last night._ He recalled her from the night before, the storm howling around them. _Aomaris…_ “Stay away from her.” God only knew what the incubus had done, what he would do to her, what he would tell her. She’d left for work, not noticing him watching. James chafed, knowing he couldn’t very well follow her, couldn’t watch her all the time. _Not here._

“How dare you drug her? What kind of sick game are you playing with her?” Magenta swirled in Erik’s eyes, his magic threatening to break through. “I won’t let you-”

“She is fighting depression,” James finally acknowledged, the lack of discretion distasteful to him. “Her doctor prescribed the medication. Humans take it to help them through times of loss and great sorrow. The love of her life just died.” Even as he said it, James flinched internally. He hadn’t thought of it: they had shared a bottle of wine. Alcohol would not have interacted well.

Erik faltered. “Be that as it may, I know your intentions towards her.”

“Do you?” James drew himself up to his full height, folding his arms as he looked down on the other Lord. “Do tell.”

The incubus flushed, his brother’s whiskey eyes boring into him. _It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We should have been friends, allies, brothers._ “This isn’t you. This isn’t James.”

“I know who I am, Erik.”

“James wouldn’t have done any of this! He wouldn’t kill his family in cold blood. He wouldn’t drug or rape an unknowing girl-” Erik stumbled back, losing his footing, falling backward down the stairs.

Raestrao ran for him, reaching for his hand.

The ethereal blast rocked the old Victorian house, echoing through the neighborhood. Erik saw his brother’s eyes widen, the surprise as his magic struck in self defense. James’ glasses flew off, landing on the sidewalk, the lenses shattering. His head slammed into the door frame with a sick crack, blood spraying. There was no time for him to cry out before he dropped limply to the floorboards.

 _He wasn’t shielding. He didn’t even try to block me. What was he doing?_ Erik stared down at his brother in shock, a pool of blood slowly spreading beneath James’ matting hair.

_Raestrao…_

*

Damien locked the door to his bookstore and turned back around, stepping down onto the sidewalk. _The fresh air will be good for me._ He would take a nice walk before climbing the stairs to his apartment for dinner and then read the evening away. Turning his collar to the wind, he looked up at the night sky. The spring moon hung heavy above him and he found comfort in tracing it with his eyes as he began to walk, savoring the silence of the dark street. Perhaps he’d write a little poetry tonight.

_Luminous fair, she floats…_

_Oh, no!_ He’d only taken a few steps before the thought slipped past Damien’s shield and into his mind. He stopped, surprised. _Please, don’t let me be too late!_

Mika wanted to run but her heels wouldn’t allow it. The day seemed to last forever, Matthew and the other executives trying to teach her as much as possible as quickly as possible. She barely managed to catch the last train of the evening.

She had seen the little bookstore from the bus this morning. Considering how she’d been feeling in the mansion lately and how much caffeine was currently in her, a book was the perfect distraction and exactly what she needed for the long night ahead. She skidded to a halt before the shop’s door, groaning as she saw the closed sign in the window.

Damien heard the woman’s thoughts behind him. “Can I help you?” he asked, amused as he turned around to face her and froze.

_It’s her._

_**Mika.** _

The breath rushed out of him as she turned from the shop front to face him. She wore a long black coat, her hair loose and blowing in the wind as the leaves rustled above them. She looked older, more sophisticated: her cheekbones more prominent; her left hand with its long slender fingers wrapped around the strap of her purse. Her eyes, her bright green eyes, were almost glowing at him.

“Hi!” Mika smiled at him and his heart almost stopped.

It had been six years since Damien first met her. Six years since he and his brothers saved her from Malix and then had to walk out of her life. Though he hadn’t, not truly, not until last year. Not until a ring had shown up on her finger. A ring that he noticed was no longer there.

*

 _You’ll be graduating soon. Just go talk to her._ Damien told himself as he watched her sitting on a bench in the University’s Quad. Mika was with a few of her friends, laughing; all of them returning grad students. _There's nothing wrong with talking to her. She may not remember, but you can still be her friend without interfering._ At least that was what he told himself. James would disagree, he knew; just as Erik would find an excuse, any excuse, to talk to her as well. And Sam? Sam would just walk up and do it.

"You're being an idiot." Matthew had tried to reason with him, tried to talk him out of attending Mika's school. Damien remembered thinking how much he sounded like Sam. It would have galled Matthew to hear it, the two brothers had fought almost non-stop their entire lives, but it was true.

"She needs us." Damien asserted. He'd pushed, hard, to learn to read. He'd used his powers to help himself pass the entrance exams, to be there for her. And he would be, majoring in English Literature.

"She has Andrew." Matthew reminded him for the millionth time. "Diana's magic has her protected. Nothing is going to go wrong for her. Ever."

"We don't know that." The mind reader shook his head, denying it once more to Matthew's frustration.

"Yes, we do." His older brother was more worried about him than the girl. Working at Anderson Toys as an engineer, trying to jump up the ranks in R&D, Matthew would still see Mika occasionally at Andrew's side at corporate events. But if Damien moved, he and Matthew would be separated. Damien would be on his own.

"I can't leave her."

"You keep saying that!" Matthew huffed in frustration, running a hand through his hair. He was still surprised at how short it felt to him. But he had to fit in, had to have the right look, had to earn the humans' trust and admiration for his career. His life was already moving to bigger and better, he wouldn't stop now because of a haircut.

"Because it's true, Zecaeru. It's true." Damien used his brother's real name, reminding him they were only a call away from each other.

"She isn't going to change, Damien. She made her choice. She forgot us. She chose to forget us, remember? You have to accept it." Matthew folded his arms, frowning. "Why can't you let her go? What exactly happened between the two of you that has you so tied to her?"

Honestly, Damien couldn't say. It was almost as if they were always connected. From the moment he met her, he admired her. She'd accepted him right away, accepted his mind reading in a minute. He'd watched over Mika as she slept, woke her from her nightmares, laughed with her. She didn’t look at him with scorn or pity or shy from his touch. That afternoon in the study, she'd offered her kiss to him. _She wanted to kiss me._

It was the sweetest kiss in the world. Born of affection and caring in her mind. She was the first and only to truly care, besides his brothers. He could live a hundred years and never forget it. He wouldn't, ever. And if it meant being relegated to Andrew's shadow, so be it. He would still watch her from behind the man. And hope that one day, she would call his name again.

 _Just say hello._ Damien watched Mika as she broke away from her friends and walked down the path towards him. She was beautiful, in a sweater and jeans. He was a senior now; she was halfway through vet school.

Her eyes met his and she smiled. "Damien." She whispered as she approached, one hand reaching out to take his. "I remember. I remember you. It's always been you." She moved in to kiss him, right there in the Quad.

"It's always been you," he whispered back.

Mika paused as she passed the strange boy looking at her, frowning. "Excuse me?" she asked. He was outright staring at her. It was more than a little creepy. _Have I seen him before? Do I know him?_ She couldn't remember but alarm bells started going off in her mind. Something told her to stay away from him.

"Oh! I'm sorry." Damien quickly dropped his hand back at his side, stepping off the path and out of her way. He couldn't meet her eyes. "I, I thought you were someone else." His cheeks flared pink and he ducked his head down, her thoughts echoing in his mind.

 _Stay away. Stay away from him. Get away._ Mika backed up as well, becoming more and more uncomfortable as she looked at him. It was the closest she'd ever been to him since that night in the mansion when she made her choice. _Get away. Get away! GET AWAY!_ Damien recognized it: Diana's voice. The compulsion thundered in Mika's head, making her gasp before she turned from him and ran.

"No!" Damien couldn't hold back his strangled scream. He didn't care about the other students staring at him, thinking he was crazy. He tried to follow her but Mika ran faster. "No! Wait!" He called after her, finally stopping as she ran into one of the lecture halls.

"No." He walked backward, bumping into students as he shook his head in disbelief. "We could be friends. We should be..." He stumbled and dropped onto a bench, gripping his head in his hands.

 _Ezaeur’s magic._ Her magic had Mika bound against him. No matter what, if he got too close, Mika would run from him. She was and always would be afraid of him, without ever knowing why. Even if he tried to remind her, it would never work.

Mika would never want to be with him again.

*

  
It crushed Damien. He followed Mika at a distance, staying out of sight, but even he couldn't imagine being with her anymore. The cries of her thoughts were too much. She was scared of him. Terrified. He graduated, Mika never knowing that he'd done it all for her, and moved back to Chicago.

Matthew had shown some kindness, never saying "I told you so." _No, he never said it out loud._ And he loaned Damien the money to buy the bookstore, helping him get back on his feet. He even tried introducing Damien into his social circle, but it didn't work. Damien preferred it quiet. He preferred the worlds in books, rather than the real ones. And he was happy, really he was.

He knew just how much of a lie it was as he gazed at Mika standing before him, within arm's reach and of her own volition. Diana's magic was gone. There was no longer any compulsion to run, no fear in her thoughts.

"I'm so glad to see you," she smiled, grateful.  _He has the kindest eyes_ , she thought to herself.

They were the words Damien had waited years to hear, from a girl he'd gladly give his life for.

She didn't know. She didn't recognize him, just as she hadn't all those other times.

But this time, Mika was free.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit:  
> Feel Again - One Republic  
> https://youtu.be/7JAElYCiFCM


	14. Life isn't always what you think it'd be.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's fall.

Erik paused in the doorway to look back at James, still unconscious on the bed. _I almost killed him._ Instead, he stopped the bleeding, healing his brother and carrying him up the stairs to his bedroom to sleep off the injury. _At least Mika will be safe from him tonight._ Evening was approaching, James wouldn’t wake until dawn at the earliest.

 _I didn’t mean to hurt him._ But he had. _What if it were Damien or Matthew or Mika?_ He was in the human world; an incubus with strong magic and even stronger instincts on edge, wound tighter than he’d ever been. It wasn’t safe for him to walk freely. Not if something like this could happen.

 _Why weren’t you shielded against me?_ It was unheard of for a demon, let alone the power-hungry Demon Lord. Once more, Erik considered his elder brother as he lie unconscious. The harsh lines, the stoic indifference, had relaxed away. Once more, he looked like James.

As teens, Uzaeris often fell asleep beside Raestrao while talking the night away. When they’d escaped to the human world, they’d worried and planned and dreamed of their new lives together, too. James: the studious man who hid the nurturing heart within, who cherished flowers and tradition, who once held himself to a level of honor higher and more difficult than any of them ever would.

But not any longer. Erik didn’t want to think about what Raestrao had become. He had managed to stay away, dwelling in Lilith Castle and holding onto his own. He’d heard enough of the rumors to know it was better that way. His brother held his Kingdom in an iron fist and quickly smothered any dissension. Denizens of his lands tried to move into Lilith every day and Erik couldn’t turn them down. It was the one thing he insisted on; he let his advisers handle the rest.

 _How many more am I killing by leaving you alive?_ He hated asking the question, but he had to, if only to torment himself. _Could I do it? Could I end you to protect her?_ An even harder question.

James moaned in his sleep, his eyes wavering beneath their lids. Erik made himself turn away. _James is gone_. No one knew that more than he. _I won’t trust you again. I can’t._ If the time came, he would do what needed to be done to protect Mika. Until then, he would guard her and her dreams. But not his brother’s.

He left Raestrao to his nightmares.

*

“How could you side with him, Raestrao?” Aomaris called across the chasm to his brother. The Heir stood tall behind their father, glaring at him. “This is wrong,” Aomaris waved a hand over the decimated valley, once a town with fertile fields. “You know it’s wrong. You’re killing the people you want to rule!”

“Stand down, Aomaris,” Raestrao called back to him. His brother didn’t understand. He’d disappeared, only to reemerge as a leader among the rebels, a thorn in their father’s side that grew as others rallied around him. The Dragon Lord they called him. “It is your insurgency that is causing this death.”

“Shut up and take care of him,” the Demon Lord growled, glancing askance at his son. His only son in his eyes.

“Father?” Raestrao hesitated.

“You fight for your Kingdom, boy. Everyone, everything. YOU must always be the one to fight, to take it for yourself or you will fall to the dogs.”

The Prince turned back to regard his brother on the opposite cliff.

Aomaris stood tall, resolute. Strong. “Are we gonna do this, or what?” He flared his wings and Raestrao gasped. As they spread, the golden image of a dragon appeared behind him, intertwined with red and green power, lighting the sky. It bellowed a roar that echoed, making the entire war hold as its power rolled across the land. _The Dragon Lord. Dragon’s blood and dragon’s fire burns within Aomaris!_ Raestrao had known his brother was strong, but this? How could Aomaris even control it? What else did he not know about his own brother?

“Come and get me.” Aomaris flared his wings again and dove from the ledge, landing on the battlefield down below. “I will end this if no one else will!”

“Kill him or I will make another son.” The Demon Lord folded his arms glaring at his mistake in the chasm beneath them.

Raestrao considered for a moment, his hand tightening to a fist at his side, his eyes staring at nothing. Suddenly, he ran for the edge, leaping down towards his brother with a roar of his own. Raestrao pulled his sword, summoning the golden blade from thin air, his own power flaring. It flashed as he gripped it and brought it down.

Aomaris was ready for him, ducking out of the way and spinning back around to strike. Raestrao’s blade met glowing green bracers, sparks flying.

“Has it come to this?” Aomaris shouted, sending two more blows that his brother deftly blocked.

“Stand down, Aomaris.” Raestrao swung again, throwing more of his power into the blow. His eyes blazed with gold. “Stand down!” His voice roared with his power of command, his intimidation slamming into the other demon. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

The brute demon laughed in his face. It may as well have been the wind blowing against a stone. Raestrao could not intimidate a dragon.

“You don’t want to hurt me? So you’re delusional as well as a pompous ass, now?” Aomaris back-stepped easily out of the range of Raestrao’s strike as his brother swung his sword again. This time his fist connected with Raestrao’s face before his brother could come around and block. Aomaris felt as well as heard the pop of his brother’s nose breaking, blood spraying. “I trained your ass. I’ve fought you more than anyone on the Plains. I’m stronger and faster than you’ll ever be. You’re going to get your ass kicked, bro.”

Raestrao fell back, stumbling as Aomaris pushed him off. He wiped the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. It was true. But in the year since Aomaris left, he’d had a new trainer. One much crueler, watching them from the ledge above. “Do not make me do this.” He adjusted his grip, readying his stance.

“I haven’t made you do anything. You chose this all yourself. I won’t hold back, Raestrao. This time, it’s for real. Don’t make me kill you.”

“I will not turn. There is too much at stake.” Raestrao met his brother’s eyes. “I will not be a traitor that wears the crown.”

“Then you will fall!” Aomaris yelled as he charged him, summoning his own sword.

Blades collided, coloring the sky with the force of their power. Raestrao used everything within him, holding his discipline, keeping his head as Aomaris raged. For every two strikes that missed, one would hit. His energy burned as he tried to keep up with his brother’s speed, tried to deflect the force of his brother’s blows. Brute strength battered the Heir as he gave the Dragon Lord as much as he got. They were matched: skill versus power, tactics versus dexterity and strength. But in the end, Raestrao was only a demon: powerful, but not powerful enough.

And they both knew it.

“You won’t stop me.” Aomaris stabbed his blade down into the earth, the ground cracking. He met his brother’s gaze. He could feel Raestrao’s energy was almost gone. Aomaris’ jaw set in grim determination as he caught his breath, his eyes glowing with a swirl of red and green through the grime covering the two of them. The howl of dragons filled the air around them.

“Stay down, Raestrao.” His voice was low: a warning and an entreaty. “Just. Stay.” He suddenly rushed him. His fist cocked back faster than Raestrao could follow, the force of the Lord of the Dragons behind it as it struck, catching the Heir in the temple. “Down!” Aomaris roared.

The blow sent Raestrao flying, his sword dropping from his hand to disappear in a cloud of smoke as he hit the ground. Skidding the last twenty feet, Raestrao’s back and skull struck the canyon wall, exploding with pain.

“Enough.” The Demon Lord cast a hand back as he looked down on his Heir, signaling the healers to stay where they were. “I should never have let your brothers live. This is my mistake to take care of.”

“Father,” Raestrao gasped, squinting up, clutching his side and unable to move as the world spun around him.

“So many lessons and you still haven’t learned this one? No mercy, Raestrao. They do not stand with you. Your brothers are rivals. Their very questions will destroy your Kingdom, will destroy you, before they step up to take your place. They must be dealt with.”

“Father, no,” his voice was weak. He had no power left to even try to force the command.

“This destruction is from his rebellion, while he lays the blame at your feet like a whining child. I will handle this.” The conqueror gripped his own blade and turned away. The legacy only required one son. “And then we will handle all the rest.” The demon lord laughed, dropping down to land on his feet and face Aomaris. “It’s time your actions were accounted for, whelp.”

“You can’t break me, old man.” The challenge hung in the air.

He was wrong.

Too late, Raestrao realized his father's plan. By making the two of them fight, he weakened Aomaris enough to give their father the advantage. Raestrao struggled; battered, his entire body fought every inch of movement. Aomaris knew what he was doing; he’d wanted to disable him and keep him from the fight.

"The Dragon Lord? You are nothing! All of you have done nothing but disappoint me."

"Fuck you, old man! Like anyone gives a shit what you think." Blows flew between the two brutes, the Demon Lord advancing, pushing Aomaris back. Raestrao could see his brother was weakening. The spirits of the dragons circled but could not stop the driving force of hatred that the Demon Lord was. Another blow struck as their father punched his brother in the gut, bending him over, blood dripping from his mouth. Aomaris struggled in his grip.

Raestrao lifted his head, gasping. He sparked what little healing he had but it wasn’t enough. Aomaris had drained him. Each breath shifted his broken ribs, stabbing and tearing at the tissues around them. His slashed hands burned as he tried to push himself up, the rocks digging into his knees as he fought to stand.

The Demon Lord struck Aomaris again in the jaw, before grabbing his horns and wrestling, pinning him. His hands reached and caught Aomaris’ wings. To Raestrao's horror, he didn't pull them off. Instead, his father stood in the middle of his brother's back, methodically snapping them as Aomaris screamed in pain. He could see the Demon Lord breaking every bone until only the crushed remains were left hanging.

Aomaris fought once more, struggling and finally twisted out from under his tormentor, crying out as the limp wings were pinned beneath him and the old demon laughed. Their father gripped his horns, spinning to drive his head down into the ground once more. With a savage wrench and a loud crack, one broke off.

"You thought to beat me? You thought to take my kingdom? My crown?!" The Demon Lord roared.

Raestrao made it to his feet. Principles be damned; leading by example be damned. It no longer mattered. He had to stop their father. He had to help Aomaris. Every moment his brother's torment grew worse, weakened by him. Gathering all the energy he had, Raestrao started to run, summoning his sword into his hand once more.

"Back to the dust with you!" The Demon Lord commanded. He rammed Aomaris' own horn into his back and through his chest. A gout of blood spewed from between the young brute’s lips as he screamed, his own father laughing over him.

"No!" Raestrao saw his brother's body drop. Green eyes lost their glow as they stared through a mask of blood and dirt. Gripping his sword with both hands, Raestrao brought it around and rammed it into his father's back with all his might.

The Demon Lord's eyes flew open in surprise. "How?" He managed to ask, his hands rising to feel the blade protruding from his chest. Raestrao tore his sword back out and swung it around as he spun. It hit resistance that only lasted a second before cleaving through.

Looking up, Raestrao saw Uzaeris clear the rise, skidding to a halt as he saw them, just as their father's headless body dropped. The Demon Lord's head hit the ground, its crown flying off as it landed in the dust between the two standing brothers. The circle of gold rolled until it hit Aomaris' body.

Dropping his sword, Raestrao met Uzaeris' horrified eyes. Their father, their brother, were dead at his feet. Grimly he reached down and picked the golden circlet up. With shaking hands, he put it on. Silence expanded around them as the fighting demons noticed. The Armies stopped, seeing their commanders fallen; seeing Raestrao, the new Demon Lord, rise.

"Gather the leaders of the opposing Kingdoms." He ordered, turning away from the accusing eyes of the brother who had betrayed him the most.

"The War is over."

*

"You couldn't wait." Raestrao leaned down on the table where Aomaris lie. He’d carried his brother from the battlefield himself, leaving their father’s remains to feed the shadows in the night before it would disappear with the dawn. His teeth ground together, tears sliding down his face to make tracks in the dirt. The crown lay on the ground where he'd dropped it when he entered the tent. It was nothing and everything.

There was still a spark, still the smallest flickering flame of the dragon, barely alive in the remains of the body. It would die before dawn and Aomaris would fade away. The healers could do nothing. He could do nothing. Uzaeris never approached, instead, his brother had run.

Raestrao cursed and slid an arm under Aomaris’ shoulders, raising him up to hold him to his chest. "You stubborn, strong, selfless fool." His voice cracked and he let a sob escape him. "You had to fight. I should have known you had to fight. I should have joined you." He held him tighter. "But what ruler can obtain loyalty if they're a traitor themselves?"

He took a deep breath, fighting the despair, hugging Aomaris tightly. "I have killed you just as surely as I killed him. What peace can I possibly make for our Kingdom? I wanted to make it better and I've only made it worse. The world will be a poorer place without you."

Raestrao held him, letting himself mourn, holding vigil. "A dragon." He gave a despairing laugh. "Only you, Aomaris. Only you would earn the heart and soul of a dragon. Your honor knows no bounds. You should be the one leading, not I. All I have done is stand aside, waiting, planning. It amounts to nothing in the end. How will I change anything? What change can I possibly bring?

"They need strength. They need someone worthy to look up to." Raestrao bit back another sob. His heart bled as surely as his brother's. "We need you," he whispered.

"My Lord," the steward called from outside of the tent. "My Lord, the leaders have convened. All but the Kingdom of Lilith."

 _Uzaeris._ Once again his brother had left him. If anyone had even a chance of healing Aomaris it was Ezaeur or Uzaeris. Instead, all signs showed they'd fled back to their castle, retreating with their troops before the battle was even over. He would leave them to each other, forever if they let him. Now, there were more important things to attend to.

Raestrao pulled away, gently laying his brother back upon his death bed. Now, it was only a matter of time for both of them.

"It will not be in vain," he whispered fiercely, pressing his forehead to Aomaris', locking his horns with the best of his brothers. "There will be no more Izrouls. So long as I breathe, I swear it. I will do whatever it takes. This world will change, even if I have to break it first."

"My Lord?" The steward called again, hesitantly.

Raestrao clenched his eyes shut, his hand reaching to clasp his brother's one last time. "I swear it, Aomaris." He stood a second longer in silence, head bowed to the greatest warrior he'd ever known. Placing Aomaris' arm back in repose, Raestrao took a deep breath.

He turned away and bent down to pick up the crown. Though no one else could, he could see the golden thorns within it, ready to tear his flesh and sink in deep; to hold him captive, forever.

"Rest brother." He faced the opening tent flap, the torchlight and sounds of his people intruding from beyond the threshold.

"It’s my time to fight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit:  
> I'm so sorry - Imagine Dragons  
> https://youtu.be/qjHUjq-u3UA
> 
> This the first scene I ever wrote of Iscariot.  
> One could say its heart, that the story itself grew out of in layers.  
> When I asked myself: What if the boys went back to the Abyssal Plains and the Demon War still happened?
> 
> I think:  
> Raestrao wouldn't leave his Kingdom.  
> Sam would never fight on his father's side.  
> Uzaeris would never fight his brothers.
> 
> Sam was the one brother that made all the "right" choices.  
> And they know it.


	15. All the things that you had lost will find their way to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Found but still lost

"Hi." Damien couldn't hold back his smile even if he wanted to. Standing in the middle of the sidewalk beneath the glow of a street lamp, the breeze rustled the leaves above them and he faced the girl of his dreams.

"I'm Mika," she introduced herself and it shook him out of his daze.

“I'm Damien."

“I,” Mika couldn’t stop staring, herself. _There’s something about him._ “I was hoping to pick up a book for tonight but the train was late and I couldn’t run and...It’s been one of those days.” She broke away as the day’s stress reared in her mind and gave a frustrated sigh.

Sadness touched her words and brushed Damien’s mind. He dropped his shield completely, welcoming her thoughts, cherishing them once more. “It’s alright. I can open back up.” He moved past her, back to the door. “But only for you.”

“I don’t want to be any trouble; you’re on your way home.”

“My home’s up there,” Damien chuckled and pointed up at the little second-floor apartment. “It’s no trouble. I was just going for a walk.” He pulled his keys back out and opened the door. Flipping on the lights, he stepped back to usher her in ahead of him. “Besides, you didn’t have to choose my shop but you did. I want to serve you.”

She studied him for a second more, a shy smile breaking through at his kindness. She bit her bottom lip before stepping across the threshold and into the bookstore. The strong scent of paper, ink, and leather hung in the air. Mika took a deep breath and paused to look at all the shelves. _It’s like a welcome home._

The smell of books always made her think of the mansion. Her grandfather’s study smelled like this. _So many good memories. He would work and I’d sit up on the workbench next to him, reading and watching him. Or I’d lie on the floor. Once…_ an impression of being with someone else struck her and her heart gave a small leap before it was gone.

Damien started and fought to keep his composure. She looked back over her shoulder at him and he forced his heart to calm, forced himself to breathe. _A part of her remembers me._ Any reservations he had left vanished. They could be friends and more if she wanted.

“I don’t know where to begin,” Mika admitted to him.

 _I do,_ Damien thought. “Begin at the beginning.” He reached for her hand and she gave it to him, her eyes lighting as she recognized the quote and he pulled her gently down the first aisle. “And go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

He paused, indicating the end of the bookshelf in front of them. “Best Sellers.” He gave a small tug and pulled her up beside him. “Classic literature is next.” He offered her his arm and she placed her hand upon it, letting him escort her as if they were strolling in one of the classic stories themselves. “Then popular fiction, mysteries, fantasy, science fiction, horror.” Mika grinned as he cringed a bit, peeking askance to see if it was her genre of choice. She shook her head and he gave a relieved sigh. “There’s even cook books,” he offered.

“I’m hopeless in the kitchen. There’s no help for me.”

“I can cook a little.” He shrugged companionably. He hadn’t had enough time to learn it from James and Erik, and Matthew’s skills were well beyond his now but he survived. He always survived.

“A little?” Mika prodded, intrigued.

“Well, I don’t eat that much,” he answered straight-faced and she laughed. She thought he was joking that he made single servings when he cooked. His smile broke free and he laughed with her.

In her mind, she was recalling just how much pizza she had for lunch, stringy melted cheese and all. It was a restaurant he wanted to take her to, a time he wanted to share with her more than one of her memories.

“What are you looking for?” he made himself ask as Mika stepped away, towards one of the shelves. Her thoughts grew a little fainter without the contact of her hand on his arm.

“I was going to say Romance.” She looked down, feeling a little awkward. “But that sounds all wrong.”

“I like the sound of it,” Damien gently flirted and Mika quickly looked back up, a blush coloring her cheeks. “Why would you think it’s wrong?”

 _How could I even start?_ she wondered, seeing his curiosity. _I don’t want to say it. I don’t want to be that person: the one with the dead boyfriend that everyone pities._

 ** _Andrew died._** It took everything Damien had to keep himself still and not react to the news. _**She’s free because he’s dead.**_

“Romance is a wonderful part of human nature. A component of many of the best stories.” He fell into his old habit at the University, his voice rattling on as it used to in class while his mind raced. He paused, noticing she was staring at him. “I’m sorry. I majored in English Literature,” he explained, feeling awkward himself.

But he wasn’t sorry. He wasn’t sorry that he’d gone to the University and he wasn’t sorry Andrew was dead.

“Come on. I’ll help you find Romance,” Damien gave a small smile and beckoned her down the aisle.

Mika followed him, her spirits lifting once more.

*

Damien was searching through the stacks in the back of the store as Mika made her way to the counter with two more books he’d recommended. _There it is_. He picked up a hardcover titled P.S. from Paris. _A good story to get her through the night._ It was one of his personal favorites. His phone rang in his pocket and he pulled it out, tucking the book under his arm.

 _ **Matthew.** _ Damien paused, staring at the name for a moment, his mouth thinning before he swiped to ignore it.

 _He knew! He knew Andrew was dead and he didn’t tell me._ Mika was with him in the office. He didn’t need to hear it from her thoughts to know Matthew was with her all day. He worked at Anderson Toys; he worked for Andrew. There was no way his brother didn’t know. Furious, Damien let the call go to voice mail before deleting it, unheard, and shut off his phone.

Mika saw a small shelf of blank leather-bound journals next to the register. Setting down her items, she reached out to brush the soft brown leather with her fingers and it struck her. It was like the aviator jacket Andrew used to wear. The gold ribbon for keeping one's place, it shone like the sunlight in his hair.

**The Adventures of Ace Lewis.**

_"We can go anywhere, try anything. It'll be an adventure,"_ Andrew’s voice echoed in her mind as she remembered.

 _"You think walking to the grocery store is an adventure,"_ Mika had chided him.

 _"Every moment is an adventure when I’m with you,"_ he admitted, pulling her close.

Mika sniffed, realizing she was crying again and brushed at her tears with the cuff of her coat.

"Hey," Damien cautiously stepped up behind her with the book he’d found. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, I-" Mika turned about and swallowed, more tears welling. "I'm sorry." She sniffed again and tried wiping them away. "They, they won't stop," she admitted, a sob escaping her.

"It's alright." He moved closer and pulled her into a hug. "It’s alright," he repeated, feeling her stiffen in his arms.

Mika gulped for air, trying to calm herself down. Her heart was aching once more, racing. Anxiety and sorrow flared so quickly she feared she would be overwhelmed with a panic attack.

"You can tell me," Damien whispered in her ear. “Please tell me.” A small sound escaped her and she suddenly hugged him back. She held him so tightly, trying to breathe, trying to get the air to force the sobs away. He waited patiently.

"The Adventures of Ace Lewis," she finally managed to choke out. "Andrew. He never got to..." Her voice broke off and Damien rubbed her back in sympathy, giving her the strength to continue. "He never got to see Bora Bora or Venice. He wanted to try steering a gondola," she managed to choke it out with a laugh. "I swore we'd end up in the bottom of the canal."

Damien remained silent, holding her as she mourned. She leaned her head on his shoulder, steadying her breathing, using his heartbeat, his warmth to help ground her. "We were going to fly to Paris one day; just wake up and go.” She took a deep breath. “To get chocolate croissants. He said so he could-" Her breath hitched again, cutting her off.

"Have breakfast with the most beautiful woman in the world," Damien whispered, finishing the sentence.

"Yes." Mika nodded, hugging him again. Suddenly she stopped, eyes wide, stepping back. "Oh, God...Oh God, I'm sorry." _You're hugging a stranger._

"Why?" Damien looked at her so sadly.

Mika dug in her coat pockets, finding a clump of tissue from the funeral home. She quickly blew her nose. "I'm so sorry. You don't even know me and here I am spouting nonsense and crying all over you." She waved a hand at him and gave a disparaging laugh.

Damien glanced down. There were dark blotches on the shoulder of his coat from her tears. “Not all over me.” He gave a sad smile and met her eyes. "Sometimes you have to cry. There's no shame in it; I don't mind," his voice was sincere.

Mika gave a sad laugh. "It's just, he's gone and yet he won't leave me. I'm haunted."

"No." If there was a spirit with her, he'd know. It was one of his powers as a demon. "You miss him."

"I do." Mika's voice broke with another sob. "I do. There wasn't enough time. We kept waiting for our life together to start," when she would graduate, when they would marry. "We should have started right away."

"You can't think like that," Damien counseled her. "Think of everything you did. How happy both of you were. You loved someone and he loved you back! That's more than many people have."

"You're very kind." She brushed her cheeks again before tucking the tissues back in her pocket. "I knew it when I saw you. Kind and thoughtful."

"I thought the same thing when I first met you, too." Damien dropped his head shyly and looked up at her from beneath his lashes.

"Thank you." Mika managed a watery smile. She turned back to the register, a little embarrassed and flattered at the same time. Reaching for one of the journals lying on the counter, she fought for composure while Damien stepped behind the register to ring her up. Mika flipped through the pages only to find there was writing in it. And sketches. She stopped at a page with a rough drawing of held hands, a sentence wrapped around them. _Never am I free than when I am with you._

"Oh! Uh." Damien saw her holding his journal. He must have left it out. Mika looked up, surprised as he quickly pulled it from her grasp. "Sorry."

"Oh, no! I'm sorry. Is that yours?"

"Yes." Damien slid it into his coat pocket before looking back up, nervous.

“We’re,” she met his gaze before giving a dry laugh. “We’re the two sorriest people in the world, aren’t we?”

“What?”

“We both keep apologizing!” she explained and he blinked.

“I suppose we are. I’m-”

“Don’t you dare say it,” she interrupted him. “Not again.”

“Alright. But then you can’t either,” he pointed out.

“Deal. No more sorries,” she agreed. "By the way, you write wonderfully."

"Do I? They're just thoughts." He shrugged, feeling awkward. He always felt awkward when people praised his writing. It was why he rarely shared it.

Mika thought of the structure of the phrases she saw briefly on the pages when she flipped through them, the lines and stanzas. "You're a poet, aren't you Damien?"

"If that's what you call someone who just writes what they feel." He gave a small shrug, placing her wrapped books on the counter.

"That's exactly what I would call a poet." She gave him a soft smile. "I'd like one of the journals, too. I think I'd like to write them. His adventures," she explained. "You’ve inspired me."

"Have I?" Damien answered her smile. "I think it’s a good idea." He nodded and took one of the blank journals, adding it to her bag. No charge. Mika was about to say something but he gave her a look and she accepted it with a grateful nod. "It helps me,” he explained. “Capturing the good to remember it when things get bad."

"Are they bad?" She had to ask, concerned as she paid with her credit card. _He's so calm, so sweet._ She didn't want to think of him as sad or angry. She couldn't imagine he’d ever deserved it.

"No." He paused, his eyes meeting hers. "Not anymore."

Mika’s breath caught. Damien felt like a friend, but somehow more. When he had held her, it was calming, natural, like she belonged there. It was a little unsettling and she looked away, feeling guilty. Memories of Andrew were tearing at her heart and yet here Damien was, suddenly healing a piece of it.

 _I don’t want to go,_ she realized as she looked down at her purchase. _I don’t want to go back to the mansion yet._

"I, ah, I was going to take a walk. Do you want to join me?" Damien gently asked, seeing her hesitation and knowing her thoughts.

Mika returned his gaze, taking a deep breath. "Yes, very much." She was surprised by how relieved she felt.

*

The park was quiet, the two of them walking down its paths despite the sign stating it was closed. Damien carried Mika’s bag of books for her, his other hand in his pocket as he walked beside her.

“A veterinarian.” He let his admiration show.

“Yeah, but not cats or dogs or rabbits. l do like birds and I have a way with cows,” she admitted.

“Cows?” He raised his eyebrows.

“I know; not too many of those in the city.”

“They are at the zoo.” It was the first time Damien saw the cows of the human world up close.

“I’m not going to the zoo to see a cow.” The fact that Lincoln Park Zoo was the only way many of Chicago’s inner city children saw them made Mika’s heart break a little. “My specialty is horses.”

“I’ve seen horses too.”

“Please don’t say at the zoo,” Mika laughed. “Or pulling those carriages downtown.”

“No.” He gave a small smile. They had horses in the Abyssal Plains. You didn’t ride them; they pulled the wagons and plows. He’d liked them. He had often hidden in the stables after a beating or to avoid his father’s soldiers.

“I’ve been interested in them ever since Andrew first took me riding.” Mika kicked at a stone on the path, watching it roll off into the grass. “It was the summer before I left for college. We went to the stables and I fell in love.”

“With Andrew?” Damien asked nonchalantly, trying to hide his jealousy.

Mika laughed, “With horses. It, ah, it took a little longer for Andrew.”

“I’ve never ridden a horse,” Damien admitted.

“Really?” Mika stopped, turning to face him.

“Really.”

An idea entered her mind. She’d received the email today that her horses had been moved to Tempel’s stables. It was part of the perks of being a resident. Tomorrow was scheduled to be solid meetings at the Company again. _I could use the break,_ she thought as she considered Damien. _Just one day._

He watched her curiously, listening to her thoughts as she decided.

“How would you like to go horseback riding with me tomorrow?” She didn’t know his schedule, didn’t know if anyone else worked with him at the bookstore. All she knew was that being with him, talking with him, was helping her feel normal again. He’d even talked her down from her anxiety. No expectations, no work, no pressure. Just nice conversation and a chance to be herself again, to remember what it was like after all she’d been through the past week.

“I’d like that.” Damien couldn’t hide his excited smile. He would close the shop. It had been awhile since he took a day off. He’d close the shop forever if it meant he could be with her.

“Then it’s a date. I can pick you up; say, nine in the morning?” Mika glanced at her watch in reflex and realized how late it was.

“A date?” He looked at her, surprised.

“Yes, with a horse.” She grinned. “I have the perfect mare for new riders.”

“Well, I do like strong women,” he teased and they broke into easy laughter again.

“Then it’s all set. Tomorrow we’re going riding.” She pulled her phone out and they shared numbers before she called up the app to order a taxi. It was way too late to catch the bus. Damien walked with her to the street, seeing her off before returning to his apartment.

 _She’s back._ It was all he could think about, all he cared about. Mika was back in his life and they were going to spend tomorrow together. _She wants to be with me._ She was still as thoughtful and caring and giving as ever. She held his hand, she hugged him. She thought he healed a part of her heart.

_I will heal it all._

_I'll give her mine._

Damien made his way up the stairs, letting himself in. He didn’t think about eating, didn’t think of reading, didn’t even turn on the lights. Instead, he dropped down on his bed, laying on his back and reaching for the little white stuffed kitten that sat on the shelf at the head of his bed. Clutching it to his chest he stared up at the ceiling, smiling, and thinking of her.

*

"Pick up the phone, Damien," Matthew growled as the hands-free rang in his car. He had the top up to cut down on the road noise as he sped down the highway. It took forever to get out of work and by the time his last meeting was over, Mika was already gone.

 _9:12pm. He can't be asleep yet._ "Come on! You're the one that wanted to get together." But Damien wasn't answering. Instead, he was sent to voice mail in the middle of the second ring. _He's ignoring me!_ Matthew found it hard to believe. His brother rarely if ever slighted anyone, let alone him.

 _Maybe... Maybe he did finally find a girl._ It would make things easier. If Damien had discovered someone other than Mika, then Matthew could breathe freely and figure out how to break the news. But it was a big "if" and right now, that was the least of his worries.

 _They're back. They're back and they didn't try to contact me._ He could smell Erik a mile away on Mika, her energy depleted since he saw her yesterday at the funeral. It was still much higher than before but less than it was. And there was also a very distinct "claim" on her. An enthrallment signature he knew like his own.

_James._

James, who was supposed to be in the Abyssal Plains with his wife Ezaeur or "Diana," as he had found out from Damien. She was a bitch and a half, but James had wanted her and what James wanted, he got.

 _Not this time._ There had been no contact with their brothers. Once Sam, Erik, and James left; that was it. Decades had passed in the demon world without a word. He had missed them and he knew Damien did, too. They didn’t have the energy, nor enough magic between the two of them to open a portal. It had taken Erik’s help when they first came to the human world.

For awhile it had felt like they were abandoned, even though they had chosen to stay here.

The two of them were practically raised by their brothers. _Or bullied by Sam._ But while it had been hard to come to terms with, life took over once more. _At least I no longer have to deal with all the torment Sam used to give me over every little thing._ He didn't sense or smell him on Mika at all. _That’s a blessing._ Still, Matthew didn't like it. _They show up all of the sudden after six years and don't even call us? Or did they? Is Damien with them now?_ Matthew couldn't say, but if Damien was, there was no way his brother would keep it from him.

 _Are you sure? You're keeping Mika from him,_ his conscience pointed out and he gave an exasperated groan. He pulled into the garage of his apartment building, the Gold Coast tower stretching up into the night sky above him.

 _Shit._ Barely a week since Andrew's death and his brothers were back. _Seriously?_ They'd all promised they wouldn't interfere with Mika’s life. He couldn't believe James out of all of them. It had his anger sparking hotter than his confused frustration. _Of course, Erik would try for her again. He'd be crazy not to. But James? Mister Integrity? Mister "We gave our word"? Has he changed that much? Did he finally lose the silver stick up his entitled ass?_ Matthew stormed off the elevator towards his apartment. He could try calling them. _Just summon them and get everything out into the open._ But part of him hesitated.

 _All this time._ He had a life here, he’d built his life here. Sure he loved them, but what were they doing back? They’d left, given up, run back home so James could be Prince once more. He didn’t want to go back to the demon world. Matthew unlocked his door, stepped inside, and froze.

 _Sarah._ He caught her familiar scent as he crossed his threshold. 

She was sprawled on his sofa in one of his shirts. A carton of his favorite ice cream was open on the coffee table with a spoon sticking out of it, a half-drunk bottle of wine beside it. A bottle he had been saving for a special occasion.

"Matty." She looked up from the TV, stretching to give him a glimpse that she was wearing nothing under the shirt's hem.

“What are you doing here?” He slammed the door behind him, letting his anger show.

“What do you think?” She tilted her head coyly, sitting up.

“You can’t keep doing this. You broke up with me.”

“We made up.” Sarah smiled, turning off the TV and smoothly standing up. One hand toyed with the collar of the shirt, pulling it a little lower as she ran a finger back and forth along her decolletage.

“We slept with each other,” he pointed out, turning away to drop his keys and watch off on the counter. She was ripe with want, but just a single day with Mika had his hunger satiated and his mind clearer than it had been in a long time. “That isn’t making up.”

“It is in my mind.” She came up behind him, hugging his shoulders and resting her head on his back.

“Not mine.” He whipped back around, shoving her away. He wouldn’t let himself fall back into her trap again. _Not again._ “You left without saying a word about us. That means there is no us.”

Sarah glared at him, her mouth dropping open in disbelief. “You have got to be kidding. _We_ made up. _I_ let you fuck me.”

“ _You_ are a bitch and _I_ want nothing more to do with you.” Matthew mimicked her tone. He moved back to the door, opening it again. “You’re not worth the drama, Sarah. Get out.”

“You can’t possibly mean that.” She held her ground, hands on her hips.

“Oh no?” Seeing her purse, Matthew snatched it up and returned to the door, throwing it out into the hallway. “Go fetch.”

“You asshole!” She stormed out after it, the door missing her ass as he slammed it closed behind her.

Matthew strode back to the sofa, picking up her clothes from the floor and her phone from the couch. Considering it, he grabbed the carton of ice cream, too. Sarah was banging on the door when he opened it and shoved everything into her arms.”Have a good life.” He called as he locked her out.

She gave up sooner than he thought she would, only screaming and banging on the door for a few minutes as he sat on the couch drinking straight from the wine bottle.

_There are better girls out there. One of them with James' name on her._

That was it. He wouldn’t put it off any longer.

“Raestrao!” Matthew shouted his brother’s name, summoning him.

_Nothing._

_Do I try Uzaeris?_ He’d never been that close to Erik. He hadn’t truly understood him until much later, once he was in the human world on his own. _Shit._ He realized if Erik was with Mika, he’d be playing his games.

“Uzaeris!”

Time went by as he waited, finishing the bottle. Each minute increased his tension. _They might not be in the human world,_ he tried to tell himself. _Or they might be ignoring you._ Izroul definitely was. But they were his brothers. Why wouldn’t they answer?

 _What is going on?_ He had one last chance. He didn’t like it, but he’d try it.

“Aomaris!” Matthew called his final brother’s name out into his empty apartment.

No one answered him.

*

Erik sat cross legged on the floor of his room once more, still clothed in his glamour. The room was completely bare, empty of decor or furnishings or even the remains of them. A fresh daisy lay on the clean floor before him. A view of Mika’s bedroom hovered in the air beyond it, large enough to block his view of the far wall. The energy he’d received from holding her the night before made it easy to maintain as he waited.

He felt her return well before Mika came into view. _I can feel the house,_ Erik realized, surprised. The wards, the magic, all of it resonated with him now.

Mika entered, looking tired, but happier. She showered and pulled her robe about her, dropping onto her stomach on the bed. Erik reached out, wanting to touch her with his magic, but drew his hand back even as she reached up to tuck her damp hair back behind her ear. She sipped her water and considered a small leather-bound notebook she'd carried up with her.

"Oh, Andrew," she sighed. "You would have gone anywhere, done anything. Where to begin?"

**Begin at the beginning.**

Mika flipped to the first blank page, remembering Damien's words. _He writes._ _He just writes what he feels._ She took the pen she'd grabbed from the kitchen counter downstairs, took a deep breath, and made herself start.

_Beginning at the beginning, Ace Lewis wasn't a super hero. He wasn't a genius or expert at really much of anything. He was just a guy. But he was a lucky guy and that luck? It brought him adventure._

Erik rose and moved up to the very edge of his magic, watching her through the portal. She wrote, first with some tears, then with a small smile. Her eyes grew heavy, faster than he would have expected and she slowly dropped. Seeing her asleep, he stepped through, entering her world once more. This time he kept his magic tight behind his shield, his steps quiet. He took the pen from her and carefully pulled the book from beneath her head, setting both on the bedside table before turning off the lamp. Mika murmured and he turned back to her.

"Shhhhh, Princess. You've had a long day." She curled into her robe a little more and Erik pulled the thin blanket from the foot of her bed, shaking it out and laying it over her. "No nightmares tonight," he whispered, climbing on top of the blanket to lie beside her. It served as a reminder to him and a small protection for her, keeping them apart. His head rest on the bed's other pillow as he faced her. In silence, he studied her features in the moonlight from the window, watching her sleep.

Mika hummed and shifted closer, cuddling into his chest of her own accord and Erik gave in enough to wrap his arms around her. He inhaled her scent, his eyes flickering with gold as he tasted her energy, thankful for the blanket between them.

 _Matthew._ His brother’s scent was faint on her, hardly noticeable with all the other people she’d interacted with during the day, but the other… _Damien._

 _So she’s found us all._ It was only a matter of time. They would find out about Raestrao, Aomaris, him. It was something he didn’t want to think about.

Instead, Erik felt the pull of Mika’s dreams and slid into them. He found himself standing on a path in the woods, the bright green of spring leaves surrounding him. Mika was walking ahead of him, dressed in her jeans and a sweater, the late afternoon sun shining down on them through the trees. It was as if she were hiking, only she stopped now and again, looking around, searching for something on the ground.

"It's here. Somewhere." She called back but didn't face him. Erik knew she was talking to him. He was the only one here with her. Her fingers brushed over the plants, a sparkle of lavender magic in their wake. It was unexpected. _Mika doesn’t know magic, how does she wield it in her dreams?_

"What is here?" He watched her carefully as he moved closer, surprised at how calm she was, how calm her dream was tonight compared to her last.

She shrugged, giving a soft noncommittal hum before she kept going. "It's hard when things are broken, isn't it?" She looked back over her shoulder to meet his eyes. Lavender met lavender and Erik’s breath caught as he recognized it. _Harold’s magic._

"Yes." His voice was weak as he answered. She seemed to be looking inside of him again like she had at the dining room table their first dinner together. Seeing into his soul, as if his mask weren't even there.

"Do you know me?" he had to ask. He wondered if she could see the shadows within him as well.

Mika turned away, shaking her head. "No." She took a few more steps. "And I don't remember you either, Erik. I can't. Not yet." She bent down again, both hands pushing aside the spring plants and grasses as she continued to search.

"You know my name," he reasoned, following her at a distance.

"That isn't your name, Uzaeris." She looked back and chided him with a laugh.

Erik felt his heart flutter as she called him by name, even as his stomach dropped. She’d never said it before, not the real Mika. She’d never summoned any of them, except Izroul. _She knows my demon name._ He never told her. It gave her power over him; a witch with his name could control him, make him do anything.

He wanted her to say it again.

"It's alright,” she continued her gaze softening before she turned away once more. “We're in this together, aren't we? Maybe between the two of us, there's enough pieces left to put it all back together."

"Put what back together?" he asked, trying to pull his thoughts back to the conversation, trying to understand what he was seeing. _Humans can’t control their dreams,_ but Mika’s dream last night had power. And tonight? Tonight it almost felt like a refuge. “Mika?”

She straightened as he called her name, dropping her head for a second before turning around to regard him sadly. "Am I no longer your Princess?"  
  
_She looks so lost,_ Erik thought as he moved to meet her. "You will always be my Princess," he confessed, staring into her eyes as she looked up at him. Once again her pupils were dilated with only the thinnest ring of brilliant green around them. He moved to tentatively touch her cheek and Mika reached up to press his hand against her, leaning into him.

 _This is real,_ he marveled. Real in their dreams, beyond the reach of the worlds.

"And you will always be a Prince to me, though you may never believe it. Walk with me, Erik." Mika drew him forward as she took a couple of steps backward, pulling him into motion beside her before turning around. "Walk with me while I forget a little longer."

 _I want to forget, too._ He envied her in that moment. He’d run, hid in his kingdom for the past two decades, but he could never, ever forget. _I want to forget everything with you._

Mika’s hand squeezed his as he studied her profile, her sad smile flicking to him for a moment before returning to the woods around them. The sunlight shone on her face and he felt himself falling for her once more. They walked for a long time, holding hands in silence, their steps rustling the plants around them. The sun never sunk to the horizon. Mika occasionally smiled back at him as he watched her, their hands interlinked. It was companionable. It was wonderful. Briefly, Erik wondered, _is this her dream, or mine?_

 _It’s ours,_ he realized as she met his eyes once more and squeezed his hand again.

"I'm glad you’re here with me," she admitted. "There's still a long way to go."

Erik woke suddenly to early morning sunlight filtering in through the bedroom windows. He lay on his back, Mika curled against his side. Her head was resting on his chest, her hand on his heart. She still slept, peacefully. He hugged her briefly, fighting the emotions welling in him once more. Feeling her start to wake, he slid from the bed pulling a glamor of invisibility about himself to hide from her before leaning back up against the wall.

Mika's head popped up sleepily, looking around. She checked her phone to see how early it was and groaned. _6am._ Fumbling with it she dialed. _He’ll be in the office already._

"Jared? Let Matthew know I'm not coming in today. There's something I need to do." Mika shoved her hair back from her face, fighting her drowsiness.

"Alright." He sounded worried but accepted it. "Will you be in tomorrow?"

"Yes, thank you." She hung up and put the phone down. Her headache was back, pounding, and she definitely wasn't awake. Not really. Mika reached for her water, wondering if she should force herself to get up. Her head was swimming, making it hard to focus. She'd need more coffee today. With a moan, she dropped back into the covers and rolled over.

_Just a little more sleep._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit:  
> It comes back to you - Imagine Dragons  
> https://youtu.be/xKkkIxSQ9wE
> 
> Sorry for the delay.  
> Work. ><


	16. It's a better place since you came along.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone finds something.

Mika took Andrew’s Porsche, buying the largest cold brew she could find at K’s cafe and chugging it before hopping back in the car. Shifting through the manual transmission, she made her way to Damien’s.

Andrew taught her how to drive on one of their first dates. One evening after they’d cruised up and down Lake Shore Drive, talking the night away together. He’d pulled into one of the lots along the lake path, quiet beneath the trees with the wind and the roll of the lake’s waves in the distance. They’d made out a little. Not that he wouldn’t have gone further but a Porsche wasn’t the place to try any serious maneuvers, considering how tall he was and how small the car was. When she admitted she could only drive automatic, he insisted on teaching her. She cringed a little at the damage it caused to the gear box until she picked the skill up but Andrew had only laughed, telling her not to worry about it.

 _“You can grind my stick any day, sweetheart.”_ The bad joke still made her smile.

Damien was waiting on the sidewalk wearing jeans and a T-shirt, much like her own. He still wore his jacket, the signs of her tears gone. He hurried as she pulled up, dropping into the car beside her.

“Good morning,” He greeted her with his sunny smile.

“Morning!” She smiled back, her sunglasses reflecting his profile back at him. “Are you ready?” She pulled out into traffic, heading for the highway.

“I think so. You’re excited,” he observed, listening to her thoughts. They were happy today. She was enjoying driving, excited to be seeing her horses, glad to be with him. She didn’t mind the headache that caffeine and painkillers were trying to numb for her.

“Of course.” Mika glanced quickly at him again.

“So am I,” he admitted. He leaned back in his seat, watching her as they drove towards the northern edge of the city.

Mika couldn’t wait to share it all with Damien. The beauty of the horses, the fun of their personalities and quirks. A sliver of fear tried to stab her at Andrew’s accident but she pushed it away. She’d give Damien the calmest one, make sure they only walked or at most cantered. She didn’t want to turn him off to the experience. If she was lucky, he’d fall in love with them, too.

She turned onto the long drive between the Farm’s fields, seeing how much Damien’s eyes lit up at the green rolling hills and open spaces. Tempel Farms was a huge acreage, a working farm providing organic produce. The other half of it was the stables and horse paths.

Tempel was world-renowned for the art of classical riding, also known as dressage. They traditionally trained and bred the white and gray Lipizzan breed of horses, held one of the largest herds in the world, and were one of the top facilities in the United States. Many trainers had gone on to the Olympics from Tempel.

Mika had no such aspirations but the chance to be a part of it, to care for the horses, was a dream come true. The white fence lines began and she couldn’t help but thrill. She belonged here. This was what she’d been hoping and working for all along.

“It’s wonderful,” Damien commented as they drove up to the main stable. The white wood, the deep green accent painting, it looked like it was out of a storybook. Trainers walked stallions between the outbuildings, heading to the large indoor arena for the day’s practice. Mika pulled into one of the parking spots, both of them climbing out and looking around.

“Welcome!” One of the handlers stepped away from a colt and young trainer to approach them. “I’m Cal. Can I help you?”

Mika glanced at Damien to make sure she wasn’t imposing and saw his nod. “I’m Mika Anderson and this is my friend, Damien.”

“Anderson? Oh yeah, the new vet! We just got your charges in yesterday and set them up with standard board. Some sweet ones you have there. Have you been here before?”

“I have, but this is Damien’s first time,” Mika explained.

“Come on, I’ll give you a bit of a tour and take you to them.” Cal signaled to the trainer to go on without him.

“That would be wonderful.” Mika fell into step behind him, making sure to keep pace with Damien. She wanted him to feel welcome. He noticed her checking on him and reached out to take her hand, earning a secret smile.

They saw the clinic where she would be working; the farrier where the horses were shod; the indoor and outdoor arenas where the white stallions practiced their gaits, graceful and majestic. Damien exclaimed as much as she did, the two petting some of the first level colts while Cal watched them, amused.

Finally, they walked through the stables. The total count of horses was over five hundred strong, many of which were the farm’s private herd. All horses went through dressage, it was a great workout for the animals, helping with strength and balance. It was also part of the rules and Mika would be choosing a trainer to assist her in order to keep her own horses in practice.

“You might want more than one trainer since I’ve heard more than a few want to work with them,” Cal admitted. “You have an Athenstaedt, don’t you?”

Mika nodded. The stallion had been Andrew’s horse, bred by his parents from one of the Tempel bloodlines. “Arnie,” She explained as she saw Damien’s curiosity. “A purebred Lipizzan. A gift to Andrew from his parents when he graduated high school.”

“He seems to be quite the character,” Cal commented on the stallion.

“He’s lazy and cheeky,” Mika chuckled. She glanced over and saw how Damien’s face had fallen. He quickly looked down at the ground. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he shrugged. “Are all the horses purebred?” He tried to ask it casually.

“It’s what Tempel is known for, but mine are a motley crew.” Mika took his hand and gave it a squeeze. As a vet, she recognized it. There were mixed breed “strays” throughout the world, most obviously called out with dogs and cats. Many people treated them as lessers. It happened in horses, too. The Lipizzans were rare, they needed protection but it didn’t mean that other horses weren’t as good. She loved them all.

“A horse is a horse,” Cal teased, clapping Damien on the back as he recognized his look, too.

“Of course, of course,” Mika sang, joining in on a round of the old television song with him. It brought Damien’s spirits back up.

Cal left them and Mika stepped up to the gates, her horses poking their heads out. They sniffed at the air, excited to see her. “This is Arnie, or Arnold Remington Athenstaedt the First, as Andrew dubbed him,” She introduced the tall, bright white stallion beside her. ”And those are Shelby, Marzipan, Charleston aka Chucks, and Pekoe.”

“You have so many.” Damien moved up to Pekoe and the black mare leaned out to chuff at his hair. He laughed and she nosed him, pushing hard enough to make him sidestep.

“There’s your girl.” Mika smiled and went for the gate.

“Really?” He stared up at the large, liquid brown eye studying him. The mare whickered and nosed him again.

“She likes you.” Mika slid into the stall to throw a bridle over the mare’s head and offered him the reins. “We’ll get her saddled up and then we’ll talk about your seat.”

“My seat?” Damien asked, confused, and looked back over his shoulder at his rear, hearing Mika’s amused thoughts at the wording.

“How you’ll ride her,” Mika explained with a laugh. “There’s nothing wrong with that part of you.”

“Yours is nice, too,” He replied, pleased when she blushed.

*

Erik paced through the mansion. He was tempted by the piano in the conservatory. Playing the harpsichord helped him think, but he wasn't sure when Mika would return. He didn’t know where she went, but she finally managed to rouse herself, waking up further in the shower and throwing on some comfortable casual clothes before taking the car.

He’d watched her and watched over her, hidden by his glamour the entire time. It was almost painful. _You could have enthralled her,_ his mind reminded him. _And taken my pleasure as I watched James do?_ He argued, disgusted with himself. _It might silence the call of her magic, might drain her and give both of you peace, at least for a time._ He hated how calm and reasoning that particular thought was.

 _Or it might harm her._ _This isn’t one of your concupiscent dreams,_ he reminded himself. _This is Mika, not someone to be used._ Not as he had been for most of his life, and not as he had done in return. A broken heart, she didn’t need him destroying the remaining pieces as he satisfied his carnal hunger. A beast of lust, he shouldn’t even be here. It was only a matter of time before he gave in.

 **She is fighting depression.** It was so clinical, the way James had said it. _Like fighting a cold._ Erik knew depression was anything but. It was messy and dark and pulled you under no matter how hard you struggled, drowning you. It would be cruel to take away the medication. His heart railed against his inability to heal her, to purge the drugs from her system. Yet at the same time, his mind was grateful. The memory of her power igniting, of his fear that even a healing spell would burn itself and her out, reared up in his head.

 _She is fighting depression._ James didn't confirm or deny his accusation that he'd drugged her. But Erik hadn't seen Mika take anything. Was she doing this to herself? Such medication was dangerous, especially for a witch or warlock and there was no question she had the power to be one. It loosened the intuitive grip she had on her magic. Her control was almost non-existent to start with. Still, without it, he might be able to find a way to shield her, a way to control it himself without pulling her into the practice and to the attention of angels. She could still lead a “normal” human life.

 _As if you would stay. As if she would accept you._ But hadn’t she? _She recognized me, called me by name._ She took his hand, knew she would be safe with him, like before. And he’d kept that trust.

_So far. Even the devils of her dreams know you’ll betray it._

Malix’s taunts still lingered in the back of his mind. The devil’s barbs were well placed. The last time Mika dreamed of Malix, her dream came to pass. Erik clenched his fist. He fought them off in her dream; he would in the waking world as well. She already knew his name; he would make sure she could summon him. He would fight so she wouldn’t have to.

 _Harold wanted her to have the choice and she chose. She chose not to keep it._ He would honor that decision.

 _Then drain her,_ his hunger rose again. _Take her into your bed and consume her. Take your fill again and again until she’s weak enough to be a regular human._

**_No!_ **

Erik moved back into the kitchen, a forgotten room with how high his energy currently was, how focused he was on Mika. He ran his hand along the counter, casually looking over the pots, pans, and cupboards. They'd cooked for her, before she chose Andrew. Funny, he hoped to again. He wanted to pamper her, treat her well, serve her.

 _She knew my name. What else does she know?_ he wondered. _What will she remember when she finally wakes up? James and his passion? Damien and his gentle heart?_ What would she remember about him, the thief of her second kiss? The demon lurking, watching, thinking such prurient thoughts?

 **I want to forget a little longer.** Would she even be able to stand being around him?

Erik left out the garden door, seeking the solace of the gazebo. The fresh air felt better, calming him a little, helping him let go of his anxiety as he took a deep breath. He climbed the steps to sit on one of the benches when something caught his eye. A bright orange prescription bottle lay on the floorboards beneath the bench across from him, its cap missing.

He picked it up, turning it to read the label, recognizing it as the bottle he’d seen her with. The one she’d thrown across the room. Confused, he searched the area. There were no pills but he found the cap tucked under one of the cushions on the bench. Someone had tried to hide it.

The pill count was supposed to be thirty-two. The instructions said one to two tablets. Erik forced away the dread, tried to think. It had been three days since he saw Mika considering them. She refused to take them that night. He hadn't seen her take any of her own accord. _How could she have taken thirty-two of these? Wouldn’t it have seriously harmed her?_

He rose, returning to the house. Standing in the garden doorway, he called his magic up. It rushed to meet him, the house’s wards answering his inquiry too as his mage sight came into focus. He ran his index finger around the inside of the bottle, catching some of the residue from the tablets.

“Inveni,” Erik breathed the word, blowing the powder from his finger into the air. The search spell sparked with his magic.

And exploded.

Erik threw an arm up over his watering eyes, gritting his teeth. The pull of the spell was a physical force that he had to brace himself against, grabbing the door frame. Blinking, his vision cleared enough to show there was residue from the drug all over the room. Smudges of it over the table top, the counters, the floor. He almost couldn’t look at the refrigerator, the presence so strong.

 ** _It’s in everything._** Mika’s food, her water pitcher. _All of it._

“Aboleo!” He sent his power out, seeing his magic flare over the surfaces like wildfire. A brilliant magenta line burned over every surface, through every container, leaving darkness in its wake as his mage sight watched it banish every particle of the drug, cleansing it from every bottle and dish.

Erik saw it flare and take off and he followed it. Running from the kitchen, he climbed the stairs and down the hall, seeing it swoop into Mika’s bedroom. He made it to the door just in time to see her water bottle flash before the spell jumped again.

 _So much!_ He moved into the bathroom, looking around. Eying the medicine cabinet, he opened it and froze, seeing another of the bottles inside. Unsurprising, it was now empty. _But how many were in it? How many had she inadvertently consumed? How much was she being poisoned with?_

Erik tried to reign in his panic. Mika would be back. He could try to heal her again, somehow, and without doing any more damage.

 _Who did this?_ He was at a loss. Raestrao was preying on her, that was obvious, but his brother wouldn’t be this subtle. He didn’t have to be. He would command before conspiring; reason and dominate, not resort to subterfuge. Erik had seen how Mika looked at those roses. James was winning her. Frustrated, he glared at them, wishing he dared to smash the vase. His eyes fell on her journal. Unable to stop himself, he reached for it.

Her neat, flowing handwriting scrolled across the lines. It was a story about Andrew, about him as a young adventurer trying to explore the world. It was cute and heartbreaking at the same time, knowing where it came from, knowing it was how she was trying to cope with his loss.

He flipped a couple more pages, not wanting to intrude too much upon her privacy when he noticed a weird shadow on one of them, the paper raised up beneath the writing. Running his fingers over it, he flipped the page and saw the circle.

It was drawn so heavily into the page, the paper was deformed and the ink seeping through to the other side. Erik came face to face with the ward that Mika had been trapped in the other night. Runes were scrawled in a shaky hand, scratched in around it. _Hell-born magic._ The next page was packed with sigils, more scratched symbols. He quickly flipped to the next and the next. The journal fell open, page after page after page of runes. _Spells_. **_Magic._** Some he recognized. Others made the hairs on the back of his neck rise.

This was more than wrong, it was dangerous. There was power in the journal, power in the spells: dark and light, devil and human and demon. Power she had trapped here.

 _She’d only been writing!_ But he hadn’t watched her that closely, hadn’t watched exactly what she was writing. He’d only closed the book after she’d fallen asleep.

He quickly warded it and tucked the journal into his vest pocket. He had to find her, now. It wasn’t just unsafe. Trapped in the grip of the drug, she was capable of casting without knowing it, without even being aware, without any of the discipline or knowledge she needed to control it.

Erik ran from the bedroom. Mika was somewhere. He would find her, help her. He called up his magic, felt himself linking with the house again. He needed her signature, needed to trace her but she was untrained. She had no signature. Her magic was chaos. He quickly cast the location spell again as he descended the stairs, hoping to find a trail of her passage.

Erik threw the front door open, only to find James standing on the other side of it.

*

Matthew paced back and forth in his office. He reached into his pocket, pulling out another spinner and setting it into motion on his desk. Four others were already going, his hand reaching to swipe them occasionally to keep them rotating, trying to calm his nerves.

 _Mika will be out today. She had to tend to something._ Jared had welcomed him with the news right as he walked in.

 _Tend to something? Or someone?_ Thoughts of James and Erik loomed.

Matthew pulled his phone out again, staring at it. He’d tried calling Damien four more times. The phone didn’t even ring. He tried summoning him twice. Finally, his brother answered him this morning, just before his shop opened at nine. The text shone up at Matthew from the screen. Three words.

**Leave me alone.**

Damien was mad. He might have found out, but Mika had no signs of his brother on her, no reason to meet him. She only bore traces of James and Erik. His brothers might be conspiring, but he severely doubted it. They were more likely to either hide their interactions from their obsessed brother and him, or they'd summon everyone together.

The first was most probable and the most troubling, especially since they didn't answer his summons. While he wouldn't talk about his brothers, Matthew had to express his concern about Mika's absence to Jared.

Not showing after one day seemed odd, but the Vice-Chairman shrugged it off. “She’s going through a lot. It would be cruel to think her life would be back to normal the day after the funeral.”

“I know she’s still grieving, Jared. I’m sure we all are, but I’m worried. You wanted me to keep an eye on her, to help her through this. I should call her,” Matthew pressed.

“She left the message with me for a reason. You can be rather impelling, you know. Right now, Mika just needs to get her bearings. Then you can drop her back into the chaos of big business.”

“I just, I want to make sure she’s alright.”

“She is. And with all of your recommendations to finance and your knowledge of the markets, taking care of the company is helping her more than anything,” Jared patiently explained. He could tell the young CTO was anxious, that he still wasn’t sure about it. “That reminds me, we have a two o’clock that you need to attend. No exceptions.” Jared pinned him with a stare.

Matthew flushed, folding his arms. It was already eleven. There wouldn’t be enough time to head to Mika’s and come back for the meeting and they always ran long.

“Relax, Matthew. Have some lunch and we’ll talk later.”

 _Twelve thirty._ He still had ninety minutes to burn before he had to handle Jared’s meeting. Another spinner joined the ones on his desk, his bright blue eyes flicking back to his phone in the middle of them.

**Leave me alone.**

_Damien is pissed. Mika is offline. Screw it._

“Alexa,” Matthew called out, slamming his office door closed. “Call Mika Anderson.”

“Calling Mika Anderson. One moment.” The bland female voice replied before he heard the phone ringing.

Matthew paced. _One ring, two rings, thr-_

“Hello? Matthew? Is everything alright?”

**_She answered._ **

“I wanted to ask you the same thing,” He admitted, worry evident in his voice. “You didn’t make it in today. I just want to make sure everything’s okay. Do you need help?”

“Oh! No. Sorry, it’s okay. They delivered my horses to Tempel and I wanted to make sure they were settled in here so I’m spending the day on the Farm.” She looked over at Damien, riding his mare with much more confidence. He met her gaze, concerned, and she gave him a reassuring look.

“Your horses,” Matthew answered weakly, feeling the anxiety rush out of him. Maybe he was overreacting.

“Yup, all five of them. I’ll be back in the office tomorrow morning.”

“Mika, no one’s been bothering you, have they? Are you alone in the mansion?” He had to ask, even if it sounded weird.

“No, no one has. It’s lonely but I’m doing okay. Don’t worry.”

“If you’re sure,” Matthew pressed, relieved but now even more puzzled. _How are Erik and James getting to her?_ “I could swing by after work.”

“I’m sure. I appreciate your concern but I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah.” Matthew heard her hang up and dropped down in his chair with a loud exhale.

_Maybe I should stop by anyway._

_*_

An hour later and Mika and Damien were riding down one of the paths, Pekoe being her docile self as they walked through the woods along the edges of the fields. Damien was surprised by how tall the horses were, how far off the ground he was. The sunlight dappled them as they moved beneath the leaves, Mika riding her dun mare Marzipan beside him.

They spoke of little things: favorite colors, favorite foods, books, college, restaurants. It continued when they took a break for lunch, letting the horses graze in one of the back pastures while they ate some sandwiches Mika had packed. The two of them sat on a blanket, laughing and teasing each other as they watched the animals.

“You’re not!” Mika elbowed Damien before dropping back to lie on the grass and stare up at the sky.

“I am,” he admitted. “I’m a terrible poet.”

“I seriously doubt that. Tell me one.” Mika looked up at him, meeting his eyes.

“I…”

“Come on!” She gestured up at the sky. “The clouds and I are waiting and we won’t judge.”

 _She really wants to hear it._ Damien was surprised when she took his hand, tugging on it.

“Lay down, look up into the blue, and just recite one. It’s freeing.” She was rewarded by him dropping back in the grass, too, their hips and shoulders touching as they leaned against each other. “I’ll go first,” she offered.

“Clouds in the sky, floating by, only you seem to know why. I lie below, and won’t be leaving, till Damien does a poetry reading.” She finished it proudly as he cringed beside her.

“That was…”

“Pretty awful, huh?’” She laughed.

“Yes,” he admitted.

“What, my masterpiece? How dare you!” She shoved his shoulder as he chuckled. “See! There’s no way you could do worse than that, so tell me one.”

“You’d be amazed…” Damien still balked.

“Alright, then tell me one of your favorites,” she conceded, “By anyone.”

He turned his head to glance at her as she continued to stare up at the sky. “Well, there is one.” He’d reflected on it for years and for hours last night. It was a poem he had stumbled upon in class, one that he felt all too keenly.

“Who is it by?”

“Lord Byron.” He saw Mika nod, recognizing the popular poet.

“Tell me,” she begged gently and he took a deep breath.

“I speak not,” he recited up to the sky, his heart pounding as Mika rolled onto her side in the grass to watch him.

“I speak not, I trace not, I breathe not thy name;  
There is grief in the sound, there is guilt in the fame;  
But the tear that now burns on my cheek may impart  
The deep thoughts that dwell in that silence of heart.  
Too brief for our passion, too long for our peace,  
Were those hours - can their joy or their bitterness cease?  
We repent, we abjure, we will break from our chain,  
We will part, we will fly to - unite it again!  
Oh! thine be the gladness, and mine be the guilt!  
Forgive me, adored one! - forsake if thou wilt;  
But the heart which is thine shall expire undebased,  
And man shall not break it - whatever thou may'st.  
And stern to the haughty, but humble to thee,  
This soul in its bitterest blackness shall be;  
And our days seem as swift, and our moments more sweet,  
With thee at my side, than with worlds at our feet.  
One sigh of thy sorrow, one look of thy love,  
Shall turn me or fix, shall reward or reprove.  
And the heartless may wonder at all I resign -  
Thy lips shall reply, not to them, but to mine.”

The silence stretched between them, Damien rolling onto his side to mirror her. His violet-blue eyes were a mystery as he met her gaze.

 _He is a poet and a romantic,_ Mika thought, seeing the edge of sorrow, of hope in his eyes. _It fits him so well._ She licked her lips, unable to move as he slowly leaned towards her and her heart raced.

Damien pressed his lips briefly to hers. It was a chaste kiss that still had Mika’s eyelids dropping and her mind blanking as she felt it. Finishing too soon, he leaned back to study her once more, to gauge her reaction. Her eyes fluttered open with a look of wonder and surprise.

“Is this alright?” He asked, reaching to brush her cheek with his thumb.

She nodded, unable to speak and he leaned in again. This time she met his kiss, his hand sliding into her hair, hers moving to rest on his side while they deepened it. One kiss moved into another as Damien slowly laid her back in the grass. He breathed her in, trailing kisses along her cheeks and jaw, down to the curve of her neck as she gasped beneath him, her arms around him.

Mika’s body lit on fire but her heart was tentative, still sore from the loss of Andrew. Guilt brought a flush to her cheeks even as her attraction howled for more. She felt him stop, felt him pulling away and Damien leaned back, meeting her eyes.

“We should stop,” he admitted and she nodded, letting out the breath she was holding though her libido cursed her for their restraint. He moved away, standing and offering her a hand up that she gratefully took.

“We should get back on the path.” She turned away to pack up the remains of their lunch, trying to recover. He bent down to help and she smiled shyly over at him. “Damien, I’m really enjoying our time together.”

Her words were awkward, but Damien’s answering smile made it worth it. He knew what she meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better Place - Rachel Patten  
> https://youtu.be/pvI9PuGorwI
> 
> And the thought of Jonah Scott reciting Lord Byron,  
> I think he could pull it off.  
> I find "I speak not" more touching than "she walks" and wish there was a good recitation out there.


	17. Wherever it's going, I'm gonna chase it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever wonder just how bad James would be without the positive influence of his brothers?
> 
> I did...

"Uzaeris," James snarled, stepping through the front door.

"Rae- James,” Erik corrected, startled by his brother. “We need to-"

The blow was swift, sending Erik flying backward across the room. He hit the foyer’s table and slid over it, sending everything crashing to the floor. It toppled back, dropping him onto the marble tiles, dazed. James strode in, the door slamming behind him.

"Did I or did I not tell you to stay away from her?" James' eyes flared gold and Erik had just enough presence of mind to roll away as his brother reached for him.

"I…" The incubus rolled up onto his feet and backed away a few paces. "Think what you will, I didn't touch her."

"We both know that's a lie," James pointed out coldly. He could smell Mika on Erik as much as he could have smelled Erik on her. His arm extended, he summoned his sword into his hand.

"What are you doing?!" Erik recoiled, calling up a ward of protection about himself.

"I have been patient. I have left you to your own devices, something I should never have done." James was ready for the tendrils Erik called up between them. He cut them away as they appeared. "I gave you a chance, Uzaeris. You are dangerous, uncontrollable, and corrupt to your core."

"Raestrao, we shouldn’t be fighting. Mika-" Uzaeris wasn't ready for his brother’s charge.

“I will not allow you to hurt her!” James’ sword struck Erik’s ward, sundering it as their powers clashed. Erik hastily called another. He flung his hand out, spraying the air with ethereal shards, rather than the blast he’d struck James with before. Summoning more tendrils, he tried to move back again but he wasn't a melee fighter. He hadn’t trained in decades. He realized his mistake as his heel struck the wall. James had backed him into a corner.

 _He won't stop._ His brother’s eyes flared again and Erik threw everything he could into a blast to knock him back. It hit James' shield and washed around him as his blade came around again. Once more Erik’s ward shattered.

The sword vanished in a heartbeat to be replaced with Raestrao's handgun. The pistol slammed across Uzaeris' face, pain exploding in his head as he felt his nose break. Raestrao snatched his collar and slammed him back. Erik’s eye was already swelling shut, watering from the pain. He coughed, blood spraying James' face and glasses.

"I have made mistakes in my life. No one knows it better than I." James growled. He twisted the fabric, wrenching it tight around his brother's throat, cutting off his air, efficiently silencing voice and magic. "But you will not do this, Uzaeris. You will not steal Mika from me like you did Ezaeur."

Erik kicked out as James lifted him, catching him in the gut, making his brother drop him back on the floor. Gasping, he forced his power out, tendrils erupting from the floor to tangle about his brother’s legs.

“I haven’t stolen anyone.” The incubus exposed the lie. He tried another ethereal blast, his brother’s shield taking the brunt of the force. “You don’t understand! Mika is -”

“Enough! Not again. You had your chance." James grabbed him and threw him again, Erik striking the far wall before dropping, the tendrils disappearing in black mist as he landed. His head was ringing, half-blinded by his swollen eye. The bridge of his nose was broken, blood running down the back of his throat as he choked. He quickly tried to summon some healing when James pulled him up. "I will not let you use her. I will not let you turn her from me."

“Will I join Aomaris?” Uzaeris asked weakly. The Demon Lord didn't even flinch this time. “Will Matthew? And Damien?”

"I never wanted our brother dead. You were the one to kill Aomaris, Uzaeris. You could have helped him, saved him, but instead, you ran. You ran back to your corrupted, slave-ridden kingdom. You took my wife and you destroyed her." Erik could feel James shaking with fury, barely maintaining the effort to hold back. He could feel the animosity pouring off of him.

“Will Mika join us, too?” Erik sensed the wards of the house wavering around them, the magic wanting to protect him, but his concentration was broken.

"You leave me no choice," Raestrao growled as he met his eyes. "You spared me. I will spare you." Gold flared, capturing the incubus, intimidation slamming into him. "You will do no more damage.” His command struck his brother full force, as hard as it could, James’ voice echoing with demonic power.

"You will leave this world forever, Uzaeris. You will not enter this house again.” Bound by his name, Erik screamed as it thundered through his mind, breaking through his shields and leaving him at his brother’s mercy. “You will not prey on Mika again." James’ hand gripped Erik's jaw, forced him to meet his eyes as they flashed gold and burned into his mind. "She is mine, now. Under my protection. I will not have you near her. I will not let you hurt her. You will not have her. Ever." Erik dropped limply to the floor as James let him go. Curled on his side, he moaned, pulling into himself.

"Go back to your Kingdom, back to your domain." Raestrao stared down at him. He pushed away the guilt, the sorrow, the desire to help his brother. He’d given Erik more than enough chances. _It cannot be helped. It would only leave me open to more betrayal._ "Leave us, Uzaeris.” James took a deep breath, forcing the words out, “Never to return."

The command gripped Erik, the Demon Lord’s power compelling him. He struggled to his feet, the portal already coming to life as his magic bid it open. Looking back, he saw his brother standing resolute.

"You know it's for the best," James' voice was barely a whisper, a sentence that struck his heart.

Erik turned and ran, throwing himself through the portal, his magic closing it off behind him as he fell through. He struck the floor on the other side, just missing the flower. Still compelled, he scrambled away from it until he hit the far wall of his room, as far away from James as he could possibly get. Pressing himself up against the cold stone, he struggled with the compulsion in the darkness.

James watched the portal slam closed behind his brother before dropping his head. _It is over. Mika is finally safe._ He raised a hand, casting a spell of mending as he surveyed the room. The table righted itself and the items returned, intact, to their places, erasing any signs of their fight.

The house suddenly groaned around him, wood creaking. James paused, slowly turning as he looked around. The front door flew open, a blast of force throwing him outside, much as he had thrown Erik. He stumbled back down the steps, losing his balance and landing on his ass on the pavement as the doors slammed closed. The wards of the house flared bright enough for him to see, bright purple. James pulled himself up, tried to step forward and energy crackled over the stairs and across the threshold, barring his way. Speechless, he stared up at the looming building.

Uzaeris wasn't the only one banished. The mansion was now warded to prevent him from entering as well.

*

Damien’s apartment was small, more like an attic. A studio; it held a table, a kitchenette in the corner, and his bed up against the front windows to get as much light as possible. It took all the space above the front half of the store, except for a bathroom and closet. Stacks of books lined the walls, his only shelf, one from the store below, holding them two deep and packed as tightly as possible on top of each other within. There were many kinds: fantasy, sci-fi, romance, drama, even nonfiction about different places and things. Text books and classic literature were stacked almost halfway to the ceiling in one corner.

Kicking off his shoes with Mika, Damien set their carry out on the table before searching for plates and glasses in his cupboard. She moved up beside him, getting ice water for both of them.

"I know it's not much," Damien started to apologize and she turned to him, shooting him a look, reminding him. _No sorries._

"I like it." Mika set the glasses on the table. "It has everything you need, right? And it's comfortable. A perfect size rather than rattling around in a big, empty house." She missed the dorms, missed the small apartment she'd shared with her friends. Her grandfather had lived alone in the Mansion for years, but Mika wondered how she was going to do it. She hated to admit it, but the house was scaring her. _What if it’s haunted?_

"Hey," Damien caught her attention as he opened the boxes of Chinese food. "Are there any books that interest you here? I don't have a television, but we could sit together and I could tell you one of the stories."

"Alright." Mika smiled, taking him up on his offer. To Damien's surprise, she went for the non-fiction. Her thoughts changed to curiosity for all the places she'd never been. She selected a large book on Australia.

"I admit, I have a second motive. I'm curious about exotic places." She didn't want to bring up Andrew again, didn't want to bring up that she was attempting to write. It struck her that Damien was just as shy about his poetry that afternoon and she understood him a little better.

She picked up her glass of water and instead of sitting at the table, moved to sit on the rug, leaning her back against the side of his bed. Propping the book on her knees, she noticed his amused look. "Oh! I'm sorry. I tend to sprawl when I read or look at pictures." Either on her bed, the sofa, the floor. She only read upright in a chair in school, itself. Even in the library, she'd find a corner to sit on the floor and stretch her legs out.

It made Damien smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. She hadn’t noticed her sorry. "You are adorable," he admitted and Mika blushed.

_Maybe it is childish, she fretted._

He brought her plate to her before getting his own and dropped down next to her. "I'm glad I can be comfortable with you," he admitted, stretching his own legs out.

Mika raised her glass and he clinked his against hers. "To comfortable stories," she toasted.

They sat and ate and flipped through the book together. Mika was surprised to find out Damien had been to Australia with his family before college. And not just Australia, Tasmania and New Zealand, too.

"There's a boat you can take," he explained, clearing their plates before dropping back beside her. Sam had gotten seasick at the rough waves crossing the Tasmanian sea until he finally let Erik heal him like the rest of them had.

Damien grew quiet, looking down at the rug and tracing its pattern with a finger. _I miss Sam. I miss Sam a lot._ His brothers had been gone for a long time. He missed their thoughts. He always knew when they were coming to see him by their thoughts. It was how he sensed the world, more than hearing, or seeing, or smelling. Here with the humans, sometimes he felt overrun with the thoughts of all the strangers in his head, overwhelmed and lonely.

He liked how Matthew had popped up in Mika's mind a couple of times. Friendly thoughts, telling him a joke his brother told her, letting him know that he was taking care of her at work. He hadn't seen Matthew in person in several months. And now he'd been angry, mad that his brother kept Andrew's death a secret.

_I'll talk to him tomorrow._

Mika looked up from the book and saw Damien's expression. "Are you alright?" She put her hand on his knee, remembering how he'd said sometimes things were bad. _He's lost some of his family?_ She wondered. There weren't any pictures of people on the walls, no photos of family in his apartment.

Damien flushed a little. "I'm alright, old memories." He put his hand over hers.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mika offered, concerned as she put the book aside. They had been growing closer all day. She hoped she could help Damien as he had helped her yesterday in the shop.

"Just missing them, my family," he shrugged. "I know they love me, but we all went our separate ways. I can't talk to some of them anymore."

Mika turned her hand over to take his, linking fingers with him. "I can't really talk to my dad, either. You're not alone."

She studied Damien as he looked over at her from the shadows of his bangs, his coppery hair hiding his eyes as he hung his head. She didn't know where their relationship was going, didn't know and didn't want to speculate. Everything in her life was moving so fast, she could only go with the flow. But Mika knew she wanted to be friends with Damien at the least and maybe more.

The thought of her neighbor, James, asking if she might consider dating him crossed her mind. She couldn't commit to James. His friendship felt different, so formal, while Damien...

Damien watched her closely, his eyes studying her face before meeting her gaze. His look made her pause as he spoke. "You're not alone, either. You don't have to go back tonight if you don't want to."

Mika's breath caught, her stomach coiling at the implication.

"You can stay here with me." Damien sat up, still holding her hand.

"Damien," she breathed his name, but in his head, he heard "Izroul".

Mika's heart was pounding, her thoughts silent but for one. _He's going to kiss me again._ She didn't pull away as Damien closed the distance between them. Her mouth met his, the two of them connecting on this different level once more, with feeling.

"Stay," Eyes closed, he whispered it before kissing her again. He brushed her cheek with his own and leaned to her ear. "Stay with me. We'll only go as far as you want."

 _God, is this really happening?_ Mika couldn't help the thought as she moved into his embrace. She felt Damien let go of her hand and wrap his arms around her waist as he kissed her again. _I’ve never been popular. I’m plain, not someone the boys go after._ She never dated in high school until she met Andrew senior year. She only had a handful of offers in college, all of which she'd turned down while dating him. Her other friends were always asked, whether they were single or not.

Damien drew back, letting Mika catch her breath, giving her space. "I won't go any further. Tell me what you want. It's okay."

Mika considered Damien. _He isn’t pressuring me. He's been nothing but considerate._ They were dancing on the edge of something. But she had to know. "I want you to tell me why. Why me?"

She wasn't expecting the gentle smile, his hand coming up to hold her cheek as Damien leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers, his lavender-blue eyes shining into hers.

"Because you're beautiful. Because you are so sweet, you worry about crying on my jacket. Because you walk beside me, even when you're excited and want to run ahead to your horses. Because you generously shared them with me today. Because you recited your awful poetry to me."

Mika couldn't help the tear sliding from her eye. Damien's gaze traced its path, his smiled widening. "Because you like cheap Chinese food and sitting on the floor. And because when I'm with you, I'm the happiest I've ever been." He stopped, taking a deep breath, neither of them looking away.

Mika fought to keep her composure. "Am I allowed to say 'same?" she whispered, her voice cracking.

Damien laughed, a deep unrestrained laugh and pulled her into a tight hug. "You may." He closed his eyes as she hugged him back.

"Then same." They held each other for a time, the city growing quiet outside. "Damien?" Mika's voice interrupted the silence.

"Hmmm?" He nuzzled her hair, just a little.

"I'll stay."

*

Matthew tucked his laptop higher under his arm as he strode down the hallway to the 2 o'clock meeting. He was still anxious and had already cleared his calendar to drive to Mika's afterward. Ducking into Jared's office, he closed the door behind him and saw the man stand up from behind his desk as he entered.

"Matthew, glad you could make it."

"Sure."

"I want you to meet-" Jared spoke just as Matthew turned around and saw his brother in the other chair.

"James," Matthew answered before Jared could, his mind screeching to a halt in surprise. Dressed in a designer suit, a high-end tablet on the table beside him, the other demon stood and looked down at his younger brother. James was still taller, his shoulders broader now over his narrow hips, his face more square, lined, as he considered him sternly.

"Matthew?" James raised a brow in disapproval at the CTO.

"You know each other?" Jared looked between the two of them.

"He is my brother," James explained without breaking eye contact.

"Oh! What a coincidence." There was a slight resemblance in hair color, in the cut of their jaws that Jared recognized after the fact. "Well, even better then! I suppose he's worked in the family business as well?"

"No." James cut the questioning immediately as he sized his brother up. "No, Matthew decided to follow his own path. Isn't that right?"

The younger incubus flushed, his mind still reeling. He couldn't help but feel inferior somehow, intimidated even more than before. "Yeah," it sounded belligerent even to his own ears, "I did." Resentment rose as his gut churned. He never imagined their reunion would be like this. James was stricter, even colder. Before, he would have pulled Matthew into a hug, would have at least been smiling as he saw him again.

_He’s changed._

"I guess no introductions are needed then." Jared chuckled, not noticing the tension at all. Matthew glanced towards him, seeing him smiling and gesturing to a chair, "Have a seat."

"Yes. Sit down, Matthew." He looked back at James, just catching the flash of gold flickering across his older brother's irises.

 _Awww, Hell No._ It wasn't the reunion he was expecting and even worse than he feared.

"Jared, why is James here?" Matthew asked as he sat, keeping his eyes locked with his brother.

"Mika requested that we speak with him. She recommended him as a consultant. And with our current difficulties..." Jared's voice died out as it did when he was forced to admit his son was gone.

"I am offering my services as interim CEO," James clarified.

"No fucking way." Matthew shot back up out of his chair. He had been standing in for Andrew, had been doing it for much longer than the last two weeks. He moved to the desk, leaning over it to glare at the Vice-chairman, dragging his attention from the other demon. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Sit down, Matthew," James instructed again.

"No." He barked it over his shoulder, seeing his brother's mouth thin in annoyance.

"Jared, will you leave us for a moment?" James asked, standing again. The human looked between the two of them, confused. "It has been awhile and Matthew and I need to catch up," James smoothly explained while Matthew seethed.

"Of course!" The elderly man smiled and rose as well, nodding in understanding as he walked to the door. "I was looking for your alignment Matthew, but obviously you would be aligned with him being your brother and all.” He turned to the “consultant”. “I'll make sure to set up that meeting with the rest of the board tomorrow morning," he assured James.

"Thank you. Your assistance is most appreciated." James gave a small smile, watching him walk out. The minute the door closed, his frown returned and he turned back to his younger brother. "What are you doing here? You were instructed to stay away from Miss Anderson."

"Oh, you don't get to say that! You left with ‘what's her tits’, leaving Damien and I behind, to go inherit your kingdom. You have no say in what I've done with my life, whatsoever."

James blinked in surprise at Zecaeru’s vehemence. _No matter._ "On the contrary, as head of the family, I have every say."

"Don't give me that bullshi-" Matthew paused, his eyes going wide. "He's dead?"

"Yes. Four years ago, your time." James lowered his head, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

"Shit," The younger brother did drop back into his chair.

"Language," James warned as he walked to the front of Jared's desk and sat on the edge of it, stretching his long legs out and folding his arms.

Matthew flushed at the chiding. "So you're the Demon Lord?"

"Yes."

He considered James for a moment. Their father, the tyrannical bastard, was dead. James had taken the throne. But he wasn't their brother James, not anymore. He didn't appear to be acting like their father either, which was a relief. Their father’s typical stance was to rape first and take and destroy everything later. _Then again... Mika has his signature on her._

"So why the fuck are you here?" Matthew demanded, his anger flaring again. He refused to play the obedient kid brother.

James gave a sigh. "The humans have turned you as crude as," he paused and thought better of saying it.

"And why does Mika have your claim on her? You have your own Queen."

James’ brows rose. "Ezaeur passed away shortly after the war." He unfolded his arms and rested them on the edge of the desk.

"So what? It doesn't work out so you come back to take Harold's granddaughter? You gave your word, James."

" _Our_ word. Yes. Something you are so obviously keeping as well."

"And you enthralled Jared?" Matthew waved a hand at the Vice-chairman's desk and shook his head. "You can't do this."

"Evidently I can and I am." James' look hardened.

"These are people, James. You were here before, don’t you remember? The fucking Demon Lord enthralling humans In the human world? The angels won't like this."

"Speak like a civilized leader. These humans look up to you."

"Is that what you tell Sam?" Matthew snapped, running his hand through his hair. _James, Sam, Erik._ He wouldn’t back down, even if it meant going against the three of them.

"No," James' answer was clipped.

"Where's Erik? I know he's here, too. And please don't say with the secretaries." He didn't want to imagine trying to cover that up.

"He has returned to the Abyssal Plains."

"Not even a hello?" Matthew was shocked again. _Could I really expect anything different?_ "Does Damien even know?"

"I have not seen our youngest brother yet. No."

"Real nice," Matthew snarled.

"You are in no position to judge me.” James rose and looked around the room. “You have done well enough for yourself," he complimented over his shoulder as he looked out the window and over the city.

"Oh, but you get to walk back into the human world and judge me?" Matthew was back on his feet again.

"You have no idea, James. So you had a war. So you're Demon Lord now." He cut the air with his hand and pointed at his brother. "You ran. You turned your tail and ran back to father with that succubitch after she put that spell on Mika. You couldn't take the heat here, couldn't take the pressure. I don't blame Erik for following you and I have no idea what Sam was thinking, but you will not come back here and look down on Damien and I because we stuck it out.

"This is my world, Raestrao; my kingdom you're standing in. I've been building this Company up for the past four years, ever since Andrew hired me. I kept our promise. I didn't approach Mika, didn't even talk to her. Not until after Andrew died."

"And you've done well," James admitted again, watching his younger brother's tirade with the patience of a beleaguered parent.

"Don't even!" Matthew snarled. "Get out. This is my life, my Kingdom, and that's _my_ Queen you're going after."

"And I will take good care of them all." James moved away from the window. "I appreciate all of your hard work. I am sure Mika does as well."

"Don't you dare!"

James picked up his tablet and walked to the door. "I will see you at the board meeting tomorrow." He closed the door behind him, not seeing the blade that embedded itself in the door frame after he left. It quivered for a moment before disappearing in a curl of black smoke.

Matthew didn't know if he wanted to scream, cry, or kill his older brother as James left him. _Probably all three._ He dropped back into the chair and pinched the bridge of his nose.

One thing was certain, James wasn’t with Mika right now. If he was speaking of taking the CEO position, his brother was playing a long game. _There’s still time._ She was safe with her horses for the day.

He needed to plan. He needed to get to her house. He needed to know what his brothers were thinking.

Matthew pulled his phone out and dialed Damien. Still no answer.

_Shit._

*

"I'll stay," Mika whispered in Damien’s ear.

He kept his eyes tightly shut, pushing away the urge to enthrall. Mika didn't remember he was a demon. He could still be a human with her for a little while longer.

The first time they'd kissed, she'd wanted to help him, wanted to give him energy. He'd trained all day with his brothers, burned what little reserves he’d had. Not to say she didn't want to kiss him or didn't enjoy it, but it had been a shadow through the entire experience for him. In the end, she had passed out, drained by him when he’d taken too much.

He had learned to live on even less now, learned to handle the headaches and weakness, made sure to eat and sleep. When Mika came back into his life, he didn't even think about it, pushed it away without a thought. He was so happy to see her, to be with her again. The energy just flowed naturally between them; when he opened his shields to her, when he held her hand, when they hugged. When he kissed her in the pasture, his nature had tried to react but he silenced it.

It was easier; he felt wonderful. Physically, yes, but even more so because Mika was with him once more. And now? Now she was in his arms, in his home. Leaning against his bed, her thoughts wanted him to kiss her.

He'd waited, he'd prayed, and watched over her. He'd do everything in his power to make sure she was happy. Whatever she needed to help her forget Andrew and remember him.

His mouth found hers again, her hands sliding up his chest and over his shoulders to rub the back of his neck as he shrugged out of his jacket. Carefully, he pulled her onto his lap as he leaned back against his bed. He kept it slow, feeling her come alive in his arms. His hands moved lower, over her jeans to grip her hips and squeeze them. Her tongue tentatively sought his as they opened their mouths to each other, and he met her, a new caress even more intimate.

It was exhilarating. Mika wasn't sure how she was managing to breathe. Their world was their kiss, their quiet panting in the soft light of the room’s overhead lamp. Her hands slid over Damien’s back, clutching the soft fabric of his t-shirt, before moving over his arms. She could feel the muscles beneath, strong biceps that flexed as he slid his hands up into her hair.

Damien cradled her head as he leaned forward and kissed down her neck again, holding her closer, her chest rubbing against him. She sighed and ran her fingers through his hair, one hand gliding down over the flat hard plains of his shoulders. It was different. Damien was stronger, his shoulders broader than Andrew, his touch so much more tender. He was patient, worshiping her body slowly, only moving to the next stage after thoroughly exploring the previous. Kisses shifted to nibbles along her neck, his tongue sliding along the curve of her ear, before sucking at the lobe. The sensitive spot beneath was stroked gently with his fingers before his mouth found it next.

Mika tried to reciprocate. As his fingers slid under the collar of her t- shirt, pulling it away to let him reach her collarbone, she managed to catch his ear, her gasps turning him on just as much as the kisses she gave it and his cheek. It was getting warm, hot. Mika leaned back and they broke off, both of them needing air.

"It's alright, isn't it?" Damien checked again. Her thoughts were quiet, simply enjoying being with him. He wouldn’t push her, wouldn’t rush her. He could wait, holding his instincts at bay.

“Yes,” Mika smiled shyly as he reached for his water glass, mostly full, and offered it to her first. She watched Damien as she sipped, still perched on his lap. His body shifted a little and she blushed, offering the rest to him, then rose.

“Here.” She took both their empty glasses and refilled them, giving him some time. When she returned, she sat on the edge of his bed, Damien watching her silently before pulling himself up beside her.

“We should lie down and get some sleep; we both have work tomorrow,” he gently reminded her, the clock showing that hours had passed between them.

Mika nodded and Damien rose, switching off the light. The moonlight shone through the windows, falling on her as she moved back, laying on his bed and making room for him. She watched his silhouette as he pulled his shirt off over his head, hanging it over the back of one of the chairs at his table.

Turning back, Damien saw her watching and as he met her eyes, Mika reached up under the back of her shirt, unclasping and sliding out of her bra beneath it, keeping herself covered. She folded the lavender lace and set it on the shelf beside his stuffed kitten.

The boundary set, Damien climbed onto the bed to lie beside her, pulling her into his arms again. Her hands slid over the smooth skin of his chest, his sliding up under her shirt as they explored the feel of each other.

“We should sleep,” Mika teased between kisses.

“Yes, we should.” Damien pulled back, only to have her pounce on him as he chuckled.

Later, Mika’s shirt joined her bra, Damien’s lips feathering over her as she lay on the bed. “We should definitely sleep,” he murmured before claiming her breasts, lips and tongue bringing her to the edge.

“We should,” Mika agreed with a moan before bucking beneath him, pushing him onto his back, and climbing on top of him to return the favor. To her delight, Damien was sensitive as well.

They almost went further. The temptation was strong until Damien guided them back into calmer caresses, gentler kisses, quiet sighs. The moment grew tender once more and sleep claimed them, Mika snuggled in Damien’s arms, both still in their jeans with their legs tangled together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit  
> Beautiful Now - Zedd ft. Jon Bellion  
> https://youtu.be/n1a7o44WxNo
> 
> James is driven (and being a hell of a jerk!)  
> Matthew is caught off guard (and isn't about to put up with James' crap)  
> Erik is banished (damn you James!)  
> and Damien's in love.  
> Did I mention this is anguish porn?  
> It isn't going to be easy, but Mika will handle it.


	18. Show me your darkest baby, show me your deepest.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew's secret.

"Good morning! Do you need a ride?" James was walking up the driveway, suited up.

Mika jumped, dropping her car keys as she spun around to face him. "Oh! You startled me." She laid a hand over her pounding heart, trying to catch her breath. She felt terrible, couldn’t concentrate, and was already late. She’d missed the train but she also didn’t want to take it, didn’t want to risk seeing him.

_**Damien.** _

Damien was awake when she woke up, only to open her eyes and drown in the urge to cry. It wasn't that she was used to waking up to Andrew holding her, or at least that was what she told herself. Truthfully, she didn't know what it was but it had her moving away from him.

“Mika?” He'd picked up on it right away, noticing her distress, concerned as she almost fell off the bed trying to get past him. Her thoughts were apprehensive, upset. _She feels like she’s trapped?_ He reached to steady her and Mika quickly pulled back.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” Panic was rising to choke her.

 _I'm sorry._ She kept repeating it, despite their deal. Reaching for her clothes, she snatched them before he could touch her, refusing to meet his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Damien swiftly got up, but she moved away again.

 _Please don’t touch me._ "I don't know." She didn't. Her migraine was blessedly gone, only to be replaced with enough anxiety to have her feeling like she was vibrating in her own skin. She saw him reach to turn on the light and the bulb overhead popped with a bright flash, making her jump with a small cry.

“Mika!” Damien quickly jerked his hand away from the switch, his eyes flying to her.

She was so close to tears. _I can’t face him. How can I be this awful to him?_ The room spun and she held back her nausea, uptight and torn by her own behavior. Her hands shook as she donned her bra and pulled her shirt back over her head.

"Calm down, it's okay." She could hear it in his voice. He was upset, trying to hide it from her, trying to help her and she turned back to see him standing with his hands up in a defensive posture.

_He’s looking at me like I’m crazy. Maybe I am. I can’t do this!_

“Please, calm down.” But Damien took a step back when she moved toward him.

"I'm fine.” She flushed, holding back her tears. It looked like she wouldn’t have to worry about crying on him this time as he took another step back, fear in his eyes.

“I have to go." Mika couldn’t stay another second. She couldn’t breathe. Her heart was slamming in her chest.

"Wait! Can we talk?” he asked, trying to keep himself calm. “Talk to me.”

“I have to work.” Mika shook her head, grabbing her purse and biting her lip. _Talk?_   _He won’t come near me._ She didn’t blame him.

“Can I at least see you tonight? After? Please?!" Damien pleaded.

 _Leave me alone,_ but she couldn't say it out loud. She didn't answer him. _Everything is so fucked up._ He wouldn’t come within five feet of her now. It broke her heart to see the look on his face as she turned back to him, trying to think of something to say, anything.

“I can’t.” Mika hurried down the stairs. “Please, leave me alone.”

“Mika, wait! Don’t go!” She could hear him calling after her. “Please!”

“It isn’t you, Damien. It’s me.” It was the worst excuse anyone could say. Once again she was a mess, making a mess of something that had been beautiful. She’d never forget how he looked as she turned back and saw him at the top of the stairs. Heartbroken.

In the end, she just ran out the door. It only got worse as she got into her car, openly sobbing. He ran out into the street, staring at her as she drove away, his silhouette in the rearview mirror.

Damien watched Mika leave, stunned. **_She warded herself against me._ ** It blocked her thoughts, locking him out, pushing him away. He couldn’t cross the circle she’d placed around herself. He couldn’t see it, but he’d felt it blocking him, keeping him away. 

 _Isn’t that the boy from the bookstore?_ The thought intruded into his mind before the jarring sound of a car horn woke Damien up to the fact he was standing in the middle of the street, barefoot, in only his jeans.

 _Get out of the way!_  
_Nice, dude. She ain’t coming back._  
_He’s so hot!_  
_He’s not even wearing shoes._

Damien flushed as he hurried back onto the sidewalk, the people around him watching, speculating, their thoughts battering him.

 _He should get to work._  
_I remember when I had girl troubles._  
_Poor boy has got to be cold._  
_Yes! Rockstar parking!_

Another car pulled into the spot Mika’s car had filled and Damien clenched his jaw, forcing his shields up as he ran back into his apartment. 

Mika cried the entire way home, wondering if she could ever face Damien again. Somehow, she miraculously didn't cause a fatal car accident trying to drive through her tears. It made her feel even more stupid when she realized just how careless that was. The house... It felt even worse, raising the hairs on the back of her neck as she entered. She had run to her bedroom, dove into the bathroom for the quickest shower, scrubbing her face. Then she threw on the one business suit she had, nearly tripping as she tugged the skirt up and slipped on her shoes, fumbling everything.

She couldn't sit still. She didn't feel like she could do anything, but she had to. She had no choice. She had to go to work at the Company. Matthew was counting on her. Jared was counting on her. Twenty-two hundred employees were looking to her to help lead until a CEO could be found and she was scared to death that they expected it to be her. _How could they even possibly think I can do this? How???_

And now here she was, an absolute mess; makeup bag in hand with her purse, and satchel, and... and...

James bent down and retrieved her keys, looking up at her. He was perfectly groomed, calm, handsome, capable, and charming. Everything she wasn’t. "Sorry to have startled you, Miss. I mean, Mika." He gave a small smile that turned to concern as he noticed her distress. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Sure!" She forced it out, sounding way too optimistic. _Why can’t I be you?_

He studied her and she finally gave in. "No," Mika admitted miserably. “No, I’m not.”

James quickly took her purse and satchel, hanging them on his own shoulder before pulling her in for a hug. She was startled by it, not sure how to react. He smelled of expensive cologne, a small part of her loving the scent, his body heat soaking into her. She refused to cry on his suit as she trembled in his arms, feeling so foolish.

"Take a breath," James instructed quietly and she did, the air hitching as she tried to fill her lungs. "Another. Slower." Mika did it again, the feel of the air rushing in smoother with each breath he asked her to take. James drew her closer, guiding her to lean against his chest. "Listen to my heartbeat and try to match it."

 _It reminds me of Damien._ She hurt him; she knew it. She blew it. _He must hate me._ She didn’t blame him. There was nothing she could do, nothing she could say. _Stop it._ She couldn’t face him. _He deserves better._

Mika blocked the sorrow. She couldn't think about him now, the panic threatening to drown her again. The tears burned in the back of her eyes but she swallowed them and listened to James’ heart. She kept breathing.

Somehow, it worked. She could hear his heart, practically feel it beating through her. Her heart slowly calmed to meet the rhythm as he held her. It was as if she could feel her anxiety draining away. It settled her enough to try to focus again. James' calm demeanor helped her ground herself, helped her nerves finally quiet enough to give her control once more and she relaxed in his arms.

"Better?" James asked, sensing it and stepping back from her.

Mika nodded, not trusting her voice and he gave an understanding smile. "I've been there," he admitted and she looked up at him surprised.

 _It was Uzaeris who helped me,_ he remembered sadly. _Uzaeris and sometimes Damien._ He’d learned the little bit of healing magic, used it now as he drained more of Mika’s excess energy. He recognized Damien’s scent on her. _So, now all of us have found you._

"It isn't easy when so much depends on you. Mika, please remember, you are not alone. Not anymore." James put his hand out and she stared at it for a moment before realizing he was asking for hers.

"I will be heading into your office today, too. It appeared you missed the train. I thought we might carpool there?" He waited for her answer.

"You... You are?" She was having trouble focusing.

"Yes." James dropped his hand and instead indicated she walk with him as he started back down the driveway. Mika followed and he paused to let her catch up. "Jared called me and I went to see him yesterday. I will be presenting to the board, offering my services as interim CEO," he explained.

"Really?" Mika blinked up at him. She had mentioned James as a potential consultant Wednesday. Jared worked fast.

"Really. You have nothing to worry about, I can handle it." He gave her a sidelong glance, his smile kind. "We will have you free to do your residency in a week if I win them over this morning."

Another weight lifted from her chest and Mika almost walked into the Mercedes parked in his driveway as she followed James to the driver's side. Surprised, she heard him unlock it with his fob before he placed her things in the back seat, beside his briefcase.

"You deserve to be happy, Mika. You have worked hard to become a veterinarian. You should not lose this opportunity to work with the horses you so love. You tempt me to try riding for myself." James guided her to the passenger side, opening the door and nodding for her to get in before closing it for her. She watched him walk around the back of the car, unable to believe it all.

"You want to go horseback riding?" She asked as he got in.

"Why not?" He glanced her way as he started the car and pulled out into the street. "I enjoy trying new things, learning. Besides, where else would I have the opportunity to have an expert such as yourself there to guide me and keep me from looking like a fool?"

"Somehow, I don't think you ever look foolish, James." Mika shook her head.

"I do, but not often, if I can help it," he admitted with a chuckle. "I was hoping to stop for some breakfast, do you mind?"

"Of course, by all means." Mika waved him on, then realized she was still clutching her make-up bag.

"Go ahead." James nodded towards it. "You are beautiful as you are, but I know you want to. I do not mind in the least."

"Thank you." Mika flushed, embarrassed. James had seen her at her worst and didn’t seem to mind at all. Hearing him call her beautiful, seeing him act so nonchalant about all of this, knowing he was on his way to help her, to help her Company; his support, his chivalry, everything about him was unexpected.

_He accepts me, he really cares about me._

Mika took another deep breath and told herself to go ahead, pulling out her concealer. The dark puffy circles under her eyes had to go.

*

“If things are already running smoothly, why pay the added expense for a consultant? We’re better off lean,” Matthew commented to the board member as he walked with him out of the elevator. “There are a lot better things we can do with the money. I can think of several investments, advertising, maybe we could sweeten the Dreamworks offer.”

“I like how you think, Talbot,” the man laughed. “We land that, we’ll meet the budget plan two years early. You flying out for the negotiations?”

“Nah,” Matthew shook his head. “I’ve got my best already on the ground in Glendale. Karla and Ana have their teams set. They’re doing a walk-through today to fine tune, they’ll socialize this weekend, then nail it Monday. I’ve every confidence in them.”

“The prototypes were impressive. I’ve never seen anything like them. You and your teams really hit the mark.”

“Thank you.”

The sound of James’ chuckle hit Matthew’s ears and he paused to look in the door of Mika’s office as they passed. “Go ahead. I’ll see you at the meeting.” Matthew motioned the other man on as surprise and frustration came back full force.

James was standing in Mika’s office, talking with her as she sat on the edge of her desk. Her back was to the door, both drinking coffee from a cafe Matthew recognized. His brother’s body language had Matthew gritting his teeth even before James noticed him.

“I think I’ll be living at the stables this weekend,” Mika admitted sadly, a shadow of sorrow in her eyes.

“I’m looking forward to riding,” James gave Mika a look that had her flushing at the words, her dream of him vividly back in her mind. His gaze shifted up to meet Matthew’s. “We can make a day of it.”

“Ah, Mika!” Jared came up beside Matthew, startling him. The executive entered her office, making the younger brother quickly step out of view before she noticed him. “And James! Good morning! I trust everything went well for you yesterday, my dear? The lawn mowers all settled in?” the old man chuckled.

“Yes, thank you,” Mika replied, shaking herself out of her daze.

“We have you set to meet with product supply this morning.”

“Oh, goody.” Her facetious reply had Matthew commiserating with her. He heard James’ deep chuckle again and clenched his fist in his pocket, a familiar weight forming in his hand. With a growl, he dismissed the knife and strode away. There were still three more board members he wanted to approach.

Meetings would keep Mika busy and away from James. Besides, she never returned home last night and wasn’t with the Demon Lord.

_Damien had found a girl._

*

James finished his presentation, closing the last slide of the deck, the flat-screen shutting off behind him. "Naturally, I am offering my services gratis, as a friend, in order to assist the Lewis and Anderson families at this delicate time." He stood at the head of the table, the board members breaking into murmured side conversations with each other.

 _This is such bullshit!_ Matthew seethed. His best defense had been the expense. That and "keeping it in the family," both of which James just shot down. Eight slides of almost lies, describing James' skill set and couched in confidentiality to prevent any real disclosure that he had no presence in the human world whatsoever. They were the same tricks his brother had played back when they were first exploring when Harold summoned them. The same tricks Matthew had used to get his degree and into Anderson Toys to begin with.

Matthew looked up to see David Anderson staring across the table at him, the man’s smile turning smug.

_Shit._

"It's a very generous offer, James." David enjoyed seeing Matthew's reaction. "Mika spoke very highly of you and I have been nothing but impressed at your carriage and capabilities. You are definitely CEO material."

"Thank you, David." James gave him a mild nod, neither ingratiating nor dismissive.

 _Brown nose it up,_ Matthew bit the inside of his bottom lip.

"It would definitely take the pressure off of your daughter, David. Andrew wanted her to have her own career," Jared admitted.

"We can't just take James on without some form of compensation," one of the lawyers spoke up, her look aloof but determined.

"If you truly wish to pay me, please make it a donation in Andrew's name to the Anderson Foundation," James smoothly interjected, bringing even more admirable chatter to the table.

"What made you decide to be so generous all of the sudden?" Matthew interrupted, his voice sharper than he'd intended.

"Mika-" James started to speak, but David cut him off.

"What made Andrew leave the position so suddenly, Talbot? Your insensitivity is rather surprising and disappointing. You're not quite the man I thought you were."

"David! We're all upset about Andrew." Jared joined the fray. "No one at this table can question Matthew's dedication or diligence towards making this Company grow and prosper. Andrew trusted him implicitly."

"We need fresh blood, Jared. A new perspective. James is offering us a chance to see how much further he can take it.”

“Talbot's CTO. We still need a chief executive officer," another board member added.

"Lean practice recommends joining product development and marketing under a single, more involved leader," one of the others spoke up, looking to Matthew. "He's proven himself."

"It won't cost us anything to work with James." David dismissed Matthew's achievements. "I for one say let's try it. Lewis?"

Jared looked at Matthew sympathetically "It is too much for one man to handle, Matthew." he shook his head and gave his vote. "James."

The voting started.

“James.”

“Talbot.”

“James.”

They went around the table. In the end, half were for James, half against. A solid draw.

Jared sighed and shook his head. "We need to come to an agreement. James, Matthew, you are both dismissed while the matter is discussed. James, we will contact you once we reach a decision."

“Understood.” James gave a smart nod. “I appreciate the opportunity to offer my services and I am at your disposal, should you have any questions.” He walked out the door, leaving it open for his brother.

Matthew stood and addressed the table. “I am dedicated to Anderson Toys and the Anderson Foundation, faithfully serving you the past four years. I only ask for the opportunity to do even more for the Company.” He wanted to say more, but thought better of it and left as well. Either his actions would speak for themselves or no amount of words would matter.

Looking down the hall, he just saw James step into Mika’s office and followed him. She wouldn’t be there, tucked away in one of the other meeting rooms by his admin to continue with her training. He turned into the room just as James was stepping out with his retrieved briefcase. Pissed, Matthew slammed into his shoulder, knocking his brother back a step.

James grabbed his wrist as he passed, pulling him around only to find Matthew’s other hand lifting, bearing a blade from his pocket. With a glare, the Demon Lord released him and blocked it, twisting the knife from Matthew’s grip to turn it back on him. It disappeared in a wisp of smoke even as Matthew pulled another knife to press up against Jame’s throat.

“Zecaeru.” His older brother met his eyes and Matthew heard the click of James cocking his pistol as he felt it pressed under his own chin. “You are trying my patience.”

“Is everything about you?” Matthew scowled. “You’re the one fucking with Mika.”

“Yes.” The corner of James’ mouth lifted. “And she rather enjoys it. Let her make her choice.”

“And what if it isn’t you?” Matthew wondered just how much his brother had changed, just how much of the Demon Lord dwelled within him.

“Then I will give her a reason to choose again.”

A sliver of ice slid into Matthew’s belly. A thought suddenly occurring to him.

“Where’s Sam, James?” Their brother had always been James’ enforcer. While the Heir had trained along with the rest of them, while he also learned how to fight, Sam had always been the brawn behind the eldest brother’s brains.

Matthew wasn’t sure if he and Damien could protect Mika from the two of them.

“Sam did not survive the war,” James replied, stoically.

The world stopped and tilted as the air left Matthew’s lungs and the blood rushed up into his head. His voice, his breath, everything locked in his throat as he stared.

_Sam’s dead._

How many times had they wrestled, fought, Sam digging at him, him pranking the gruff brute? Sam taunted him, but still stood up for him; tormenting him, but in the way that brothers only do when they are such a part of each other’s lives that they wouldn’t have it any other way.

They had been rivals and friends. Sam never let him be, never let anything be easy, and yet there were times he had raised Matthew up high on his shoulders and laughed with him as they sneaked out of the castle to explore the local village or pilfered treats from the kitchen. Sam was a grump, but he was the opposite to Matthew’s joker, like his other half.

Now the mirror was broken. The other side where Sam had always stood, sneering with that twist of pride in his brother that Matthew only now let himself recognize, was empty.

James took advantage of Matthew’s distraction, using it as an opportunity to sidestep from the blade, moving out of danger before dismissing his weapon. His brother barely noticed.

“How?” It was incomprehensible. “How did it happen?” Matthew stared at James, looked up at his big brother, their leader for so long, needing an answer.

“He was on the wrong side.”

Matthew saw the twitch, the wavering of James’ eyes, and his whole body went cold. “You?!”

James flushed and turned away, picking his briefcase up and reaching for the doorknob. “Let Mika go and stay in the human world, Matthew. It is far less cruel.” He left without another word.

The blue-eyed brother walked back to his office in a daze, closing the door and dropping down into his chair. “Alexa, camera six.” He sat back staring at the flat screen, missing the brother he’d resented for years, the brother who had been dead all this time.

_And I never knew it._

*

"We are still at a draw," Jared sighed and looked around the table after the third round of discussion. It was difficult; any other time and the tie-breaker would have been his son.

The head of finance changed his vote to James and he had changed to Matthew. He was sorry to have ever cast a vote for the consultant. Matthew had stepped up right away when it all happened. He should have shown the boy his support.

"Not necessarily," David leaned forward over the table as he spoke. "We are forgetting there is one more voice in the matter, from someone who couldn't sit at the table."

"You're right." Jared blinked before nodding. Mika's father glared at the interruption, but let him speak. "Normally, my son would be the tie-breaker. We know how Andrew chose. He was very clear in his instructions."

"I was talking about my daughter, Lewis. Not everything is about your dead son." The Vice-chairman paled, flinching at David’s harsh words. He grabbed his water glass, drinking and hiding behind it. "Mika brought James to us when she'd already been working with Matthew. That shows a vote of no confidence for Talbot from another Anderson. And this is the Anderson Company."

"You bring up a good point." The lawyer nodded as Jared coughed. "Bring Mika in here. After all, she owns the Company."

"We do have the majority share," David agreed with a satisfied smile.

"No, David. You do not. With the inheritance of the Lewis' shares, Mika now owns the majority share, all by herself," the lawyer clarified as the table broke out into several loud discussions.

"What?! You put the Company in the hands of my daughter?" David stood up to glare at Jared as everyone started talking about them. All at once, the table fell into chaos as demands and questions and more were thrown back and forth.

Mika followed the admin into the boardroom, surprised by the shouting.

"She doesn't care about this Company. She's off to play 'My little pony' the first chance she gets!" David snarled.

"David!" Jared shook his head. "She has the spirit of her grandfather. Any fool can see Harold in her. And let's not forget he chose her as well!" The old man coughed again.

The admin beside Mika flashed her a sympathetic smile and cleared her throat loudly, all eyes turning to them. She pushed Mika further into the room before stepping out and quickly closing the door.

"You own the Company now?" Her father was livid. "You just get everything handed to you, don't you?"

"Dad?" Mika couldn't help her uncertainty as everyone stared at her.

"You were never meant to have it, David," Jared gasped, loosening his tie.

"I've dedicated myself to this Company.” Mika's father flushed, raising a fist, then thought better of it. “It appears that really doesn’t mean anything." He stormed out past his daughter, making Mika flinch away.

"That went better than I thought it would." The board member's voice was droll, a few half-hearted chuckles sounding around him.

"Mika," the lawyer caught her attention. The woman gave a supportive smile. "The question has come up if we hire James as an interim CEO, or if we allow Matthew to continue to maintain both CTO and CEO positions."

"Matthew?" Mika was surprised. "He can do that?"

"He has been doing just that," Jared admitted. "For years. He's always been Andrew's backup. If we had set a contingency plan, it would have been Matthew."

"He wants it?" Mika thought of him. He was like Andrew, not too serious, but he knew so much. Matthew was excited when he spoke about the Company, even as he teased about the corporate "bullshit". Andrew had always been goofy, kind of awkward; while Matthew was funny but beneath it, she didn't doubt the CTO knew what he was doing.

_He's been doing it for years._

"Can, can I talk to him?" Mika asked, uncomfortable as they all watched her.

"She missed the presentation," one of the members pointed out. "She should see both sides before making the decision."

"It's getting late. We're well past schedule. Let's table it until early next week. Monday? Tuesday?" Talk of corporate calendars started, everyone rising from the table and leaving.

Mika looked to Jared, surprised by how abruptly the meeting had ended.

"Talk to Matthew and James, when you get a chance," He clarified. "Don't jump on it right away, think about it and what you might want to ask them, first.”

Mika knew what she wanted to ask them. _Who should I choose?_

*

Mika left the boardroom well after the others, wondering what she should do. Surprised, she saw a familiar blond woman walking out of the office at the end of the hall. Not quite believing her eyes, she followed her. “Naomi?” Mika’s voice echoed through the empty space.

Naomi spun about, startled, her eyes going huge as Mika approached. “You’re here.” The blonde’s voice was quiet. She looked scared.

“Yes. What were you doing in Andrew’s office?” Mika looked past her into the room. She still hadn’t had the heart to clean it out yet, the photos and mementos still on his desk.  
  
“I…Can we talk?” The med student pushed the hair out of her eyes.

“Sure.” Mika gave her a gentle smile. “My office is this way. I’m sorry we fought,” she apologized as they walked. She had missed Naomi, missed Suzu. “I was being an idiot.”

Naomi walked past her desk. The tall blond turned from the window to regard her. Dark circles shadowed her eyes and she was even thinner than before. She looked tired and upset, not far from how Mika, herself, felt.

Mika set her laptop on her desk but didn’t sit. “Are you alright? What’s happened?”

“Mika, Suzu…doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Are you two fighting?” Concerned, Mika moved closer. She hadn’t helped, fighting with the Italian before the funeral. But her friend stepped back, putting more distance between them.

“She told me not to tell you. We all swore it.”

Mika tried to hold back the sinking feeling in her stomach. Without a word she moved back to the door, closing it before turning around to face her friend.

“Swore what?” She asked, one hand gripping her upper arm defensively.

“I, I can’t. I can’t go on pretending like it didn’t happen.” Naomi was starting to cry, the back of one hand brushing the tears from her cheeks. Mika wanted to go to her, but her feet were frozen to the ground, her anxiety flaring back to life.

“What happened, Naomi? Does it have something to do with Andrew?” She slowly lowered herself into one of the nearby office chairs as her best friend regarded her.

Suddenly, she didn’t want to hear it. Whatever was tearing the gentle girl apart, she didn’t want to know. “Don’t. On second thought, don’t tell me.”

“Mika, We…We were together,” Naomi quietly confessed.

“We?” Mika choked the word out, her throat closing. Her heart leaped in her chest painfully as the world poised to crush what remained of her. “We?” Her own eyes filled with tears.

“Andrew and I.” Naomi swallowed and forced herself to continue, not meeting Mika’s eyes, “And Suzu.”

*

“I miss her so much,” Andrew admitted, holding a wine bottle in one hand as he held the door to the mansion open for the two girls. They’d had dinner, drinks, talked half of the night away while dancing at the club. He hadn’t known just how crazy fun Suzu could be and Naomi was so sweet! Pretty and nice as she stammered in embarrassed innocence and followed the other girl around.

The two girls made a cute couple. _More than cute,_ Matthew thought as Suzu laughed drunkenly and pulled Naomi in for a heated kiss.

“You’re lucky,” he admitted when they finally moved apart and saw him watching. ”Mika’s half a state away.”

“Andrew,” Naomi blushed, tipsy and sad for him. “I’m so sorry.”

“You really do miss her, don’t you?” Suzu moved towards him, taking the bottle from his hand and downing a healthy swallow. He watched her as she licked the red from her lips. “How much do you miss her?” The Italian asked, her eyes running over him.

“Too much,” Andrew whispered, unconsciously licking his own lips.

“Suzu, what are you doing?” Naomi tried to reach for her, but her girlfriend moved closer to the man.

“What we all want.” Suzu met Andrew’s eyes, a sly smile spreading across her face. “You’ve even said so, Naomi.”

The blond flushed but didn’t say no, to Andrew’s shock.

“You want me?” his voice was low as he asked Suzu, expecting her to laugh in his face.

 _It has been a long time._ Mika’s semester was almost over but classes were harsh, study taking all of her spare time so that even her calls were rare and tired. He barely felt like he was in a relationship. He went to bed most nights, pretending she was there, only to wake up and be aching for her again.

“You want us?” Suzu dared him. “Both of us? Here? Now?”

“Andrew, Mika! You’re drunk!” Naomi tried to remind them all that they were letting their hormones take over. Things were getting out of hand.

“She doesn’t have to know.” The words came from Andrew and Suzu’s mouths at the same time.

“Just once.” He was already straining in his pants, his mind fogging with liquor and want. The thought of both of them: the willowy blonde, the Italian fireball…

“It doesn’t mean anything. Just a fuck between friends.” Suzu moved up to him, smiling as his arms circled her waist. She slid her hands up his shoulders, over the expensive blazer.

“Are you in, Naomi?” Andrew looked over at her. He had to ask. Suzu was already rubbing against him, subtly grinding her hips against his hardness, making it even more difficult to think. He took a deep breath and tossed his head, the friction teasing him. Suzu was never shy, but he wanted Naomi’s agreement, too. The two girls were a couple.

“I…”

“Let her watch,” Suzu laughed. “She likes you. She’ll be in faster than Mika can run.”

And then Suzu was pulling him down by the lapels of his jacket, her tongue in his mouth as he crushed his lips against hers.

In mere minutes, they were naked in the sitting room. The Italian went down on her knees on the plush carpet before Andrew, her hands running over his ass as she primed him with her mouth. He thrust into her, his eyes shifting to meet Naomi’s as the pretty girl watched shyly from the foyer doorway, blushing brightly at him.

Suzu leaned back and slid a condom on him before pulling him down onto the thick white carpet with her. Laughing at her girlfriend’s bashfulness, she climbed on top of Andrew. She didn’t want to bother with a bed. Going all the way to the bedroom, there were too many signs of Mika, too much of a chance they’d all come to their senses rather than with each other.

Andrew was hard, his muscles straining as Suzu ran her nails over his chest and abs. Playing cowgirl, she slid down onto him before he could do anything and started to ride. It was a favorite position of his.

“Fuck, you are so hot.” Andrew thrust up into her and Suzu swayed, pulling his hands to her breasts.

“I’m hot, but you should taste my ice queen.” The Italian flashed a look at Naomi. “You know you want to.” The blonde was still standing back, squirming a little in time with Suzu’s rocking.  
  
_It’s true_ , Naomi admitted to herself. She did have a bit of a crush on Andrew. He was always so nice, so funny. Mika was lucky. But she’d never been with a man and this was her best friend’s.

“Should I taste her? Naomi, come here.” Andrew laid back on the floor, beckoning her with one hand. The alcohol had him slow, it would take awhile for him to finish, even with the two girls. And Naomi looked so sweet.

“I…” Naomi hesitated, licking her lips and Suzu gave her that look. As she always did, Naomi gave in. She moved closer, the Italian reaching out, her hands going up the blonde's legs to slide her panties down and off from under her skirt. Suzu’s fingers ran back up, making Naomi gasp and spread her legs further apart as they pushed inside her.  
  
“She’s wet,” Suzu sang, leaning back and licking a finger, “and so good.”

Andrew leaned up to kiss Suzu, tasting Naomi on her lips. “Yes.” He reached to run a hand up Naomi’s leg along with the Italian, feeling her tremble. “Come here,” He whispered again, pulling her towards him, guiding her down on her knees.

Naomi faced Suzu as Andrew drew her over his head. With a hum, he leaned up and gave her a lick. She jumped and moaned before Suzu claimed her mouth. Naomi felt Andrew’s arms curl around her thighs, pulling her lower, holding her steady. His tongue ran over her, dipping inside as he thrust up into Suzu once more. The way he handled her was so different from Suzu, rougher. A finger followed his tongue and she gasped. She’d never had such large, long fingers sliding and curling within her as his tongue danced over her, as Suzu’s tongue twined with hers.  
  
Naomi looked down to see Andrew thrusting into her girlfriend, even as his fingers took her. Suzu’s hand moved down to rub herself as Naomi watched. Smiling wickedly, Suzu leaned back and gave a good show. The blonde came with a cry, so quickly her girlfriend laughed. “If you think that’s good, let him take you from behind.”

Naomi shuddered, breathless as Andrew moved out from under them. Suzu hugged her close and laid back on the carpet, pulling Naomi down on all fours above her. She lifted the blonde’s skirt, giving a squeeze and a slap while Andrew knelt behind her. “I’ve never…” Naomi managed to gasp out, nervous even as Suzu pulled down the top of her dress, claiming a breast in her mouth.

“Naomi, you are so beautiful.” Andrew reverently spread her legs wider and rubbed his length along her. She was so wet, he set himself to take her, teasing them both with the tip. “Say you want it.”

“I…” Naomi faltered. He felt so good, her body tightened with desire. This wasn’t a toy, this was Andrew.

“Say it,” Suzu purred, biting down on her nipple, making her gasp again. “Admit it.”

“Confess to me, Naomi.” Andrew leaned down over her back to whisper it in her ear.

“I want you, Andrew.” The words came out and Naomi felt tears on her cheeks. _Mika._ But she wanted this more. “I do want you,” she admitted quietly.

Then he was pushing into her, impaling her with an intimacy only Suzu had come close to. Naomi cried out, Andrew rougher than she thought he would be as he sank all the way in with a single thrust to take her before his hips started pumping into her.

“Slow down,” Naomi gave a sob. It stung, she wasn’t ready.

“Take her hard,” Suzu commanded instead, her smile wicked as Naomi gasped and trembled on top of her. “And when she’s done and come, finish me.”  
  
Andrew laughed, pushing Naomi down as he upped his pace. Meeting Suzu’s eyes over Naomi’s shoulder, he stroked her thigh with one hand, feeling her wrap her leg around the both of them. His lips kissed the back of Naomi’s neck, panting with his thrusts as Suzu’s hands slid over her and down to circle and rub. Her mouth claimed Naomi’s as her lover cried out, the blonde's body clenching Andrew so tightly he lost himself and came with her, deep in her, before she dropped limply on top of her girlfriend.

Careful with the condom, Andrew tied it off and tossed it in the waste bin before dropping to lie on the floor beside them. Catching his breath, he saw Suzu roll on top of her girlfriend, revving Naomi back up again already. The box of condoms was still within easy reach.

“I swear, I’m such a lucky guy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title credit:  
> Secrets - Tiesto & KHSMR  
> https://youtu.be/Dr1nN__-2Po


	19. You take me to the top I'm ready for whatever it takes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew's Choice

“Together?” Mika stared up at Naomi, incredulous, blinking back the tears. “What do you mean together?”

“You know what I mean.” Her friend’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Andrew is the first man-” Naomi’s voice broke as she corrected herself. “He was my first.”

“Are you telling me you slept with Andrew?” Mika’s nails dug into the leather arms of the chair as she gripped them, pain flaring in her head as she choked down the emotions welling within her. He was her first, too. Her first and only.

“Suzu and I both have.”

“When?” Mika demanded the answer. “You didn’t know him until after we were already dating.”

“We’ve all been together for the past year.”

Mika’s chest seized, her breath catching. _The engagement. The wedding plans. Their vacation. He was sleeping with them the whole time?_

“The last time was the night before…” Naomi couldn’t finish the sentence, lowering her head.

 _The night before? The night before he died?_ Mika saw Naomi’s shame, her pain, but all she felt was white-hot rage.

“You were _fucking_ Andrew? You, who are supposed to be my best friends, were sleeping with my fiance, together, for the past year? Even the week before our wedding?” The city skyline stretched across the window behind the blonde, a whole world out there. _I want to be anywhere but here right now. I wish I’d never woke up this morning._ But she had to know.

“It wasn’t like that.” Naomi was crying again, dropping down to kneel beside Mika’s chair.

“Oh? What was it like? What was it like to be with him behind my back for an entire year?” Mika was shaking in her anger. She couldn’t let Naomi get away with even a second of sympathy. She felt the snap and sharp pain of one of her nails breaking, buried in the upholstery. A part of her screamed for her to let loose, to vent everything she had on the woman.

“Mika, we were all friends-”

“You weren’t acting like it,” she spat it at the blonde, shaking her head.

“You didn’t treat us like it either.” Naomi’s voice was quiet but determined, fighting back. “Everything was about you. Your school, your work, your horses.”

“What do you mean?” The words were ground out through grit teeth.

“You never called us anymore!” Naomi stood back up, folding her arms. “You never even called Andrew! He was always the one calling you, going to visit you.”

“I had classes! I couldn’t just leave! You have no idea how much work I had to do. ”

“Really?” Naomi flushed. “Because med-school is so easy?” The words were bitter.

“You know what I mean.”

“No. No, I don’t. You moved away-”

“For school!” Mika pointed out.

“And you dropped all of us. Not at first, but each year was less and less.” Naomi’s voice rose. “I can understand you moving on. We were only friends, high school friends going our own ways. But how could you treat Andrew like that?!”

Mika paused. It was true they hadn’t talked much the past year. True she hadn’t had much time recently to call Andrew while she was on her rotations. But it wasn’t that she didn’t care about him, or them. She just hadn’t spoken to them much, really only when she came home to visit. At Christmas and before that, when he renewed their engagement.

Mika looked down at the pale band around her finger where she’d once wore his diamond ring. Andrew had been cheating on her even as he asked her again to marry him. When he gave it to her to replace the smaller promise ring he’d given her years before when he first asked.

“Why didn’t he break up with me? If I was so terrible, why didn’t he just leave me?” The view of the ring wouldn’t blur. Mika’s eyes felt dry, she couldn’t cry. Her throat felt like sandpaper as she tried to swallow.

“Because he loved you.”

“While loving you.” Mika looked back up at her, her anger sharp.

“No. We were just friends.”

“Friends. How convenient.” Mika felt her stomach twist, nausea rising. “You and Suzu were both fucking him so it wasn’t like either of you were cheating. You didn’t have to worry about love at all.”

Naomi froze, going pale as she met Mika’s eyes. “He didn’t love me, but I loved him,” she quietly admitted. “I told him once.” She choked up as Mika stared at her. “I told him and he gave me the saddest look and said he didn’t love me. He wouldn’t leave you and he didn’t love me!” Naomi shouted, resentful.

“How could you hold that against me?” Mika shot up out of the chair.

“You took advantage of him all this time!” Naomi’s voice grew shrill. “Making him bend over backward for any little bit of attention he could get. And he loved you! Not me. You-!”

Naomi’s head whipped back as Mika slapped her. The side of the blonde's face lit up bright pink.

“You are not the victim here, Naomi!” Mika shouted. “You don’t get to cry over trying to steal the man who would have been my husband!”

Matthew heard the sound of the slap and jumped up, startled out of his thoughts to stare at the flat screen in his office. He raced down the hall, hearing the two girls screaming, shoving past curious employees gathering outside Mika’s office door. Barging right in, he stepped back as Naomi fled past him.

“Mika! Mika, stop!” Matthew tried to intercept her as she followed the blonde out.

“How could you do it? We were best friends!” Mika shouted as they strode to the elevators.

“We were. He thought we could all be friends again, too, once the wedding was over. Andrew was going to ask you, tell you…” Naomi admitted. “We all loved you. We thought you’d love us, too.”

Mika froze in shock, flushing brightly as everyone stared at the two of them. She couldn’t reply, didn’t know how to respond as exactly what was implied sunk in.

Naomi met her eyes. Mika didn’t deny it, didn’t scorn her. The elevator doors closed between them, breaking their eye contact, leaving Mika behind.

“Hey, let’s get you out of here.” Matthew caught up to Mika, carefully wrapping an arm around her shoulders and looking back at the other office workers with a glare.

The employees quickly dispersed, mumbling and disappearing to go find their favorite gossip corners. It couldn’t be helped. His admin ran up, Mika’s satchel and purse as well as Matthew’s briefcase in her hands. He gratefully took all of them before guiding Mika down the stairs, walking slowly, giving Naomi time to leave.

“Come on,” Matthew’s sympathy rang in Mika’s ears. “I’ll drive you home.”

*

**_It's not you it's me._ **

Damien turned away, clenching his eyes and fists and jaw so hard it hurt, just to hold it in. There were customers out amongst the shelves. He had to hold it together. His shields were tight, as if they could help him. Not a whisper of thought made it in.

Which trapped him with his own.

 _What happened? What did I do?_ It was a flashback to that time in the quad. Once again Mika was afraid of him, her anxiety through the roof, to the point of feeling physically sick. She'd blocked him. Shoved him away and warded herself from him. _It wasn’t on purpose._ He hoped to God it wasn't.

_Her magic..._

That brought Damien's own panic up a notch. _It isn't gone,_ and he had no way to help. He didn’t have magic, not like Mika and Erik. Diana's thoughts in the hotel had betrayed that she'd taken all of Mika's magic, all of her power. That she'd stolen the power for herself and then locked Mika's magic away into a spell that would use it and prevent it from ever building up again. She erased Mika's memories, though he hadn't understood the extent to which she’d gone, didn’t know she’d cursed them to stay apart. He hadn't understood just how cruel the succubus was until he had faced it.

_**That bitch.** _

He couldn't go back. He couldn't go back to being just a shadow, not now. He wouldn't let it happen again. He'd spent the night with Mika in his arms, heard her thoughts of affection for him. He loved her and she, she had shown the very beginnings of it.

 _Mika didn't dream._ No nightmare had turned her from him. He would have heard it in her thoughts. He'd barely slept at all, so happy to be holding her. _No, this isn't from her._ Whatever had happened, whatever made her feel like that, he would not let it keep him from her.

_Not again, never again._

"Ah, Damien! You know how to capture those bestsellers from the speed readers, don't you? This book's only been out a week!" Mr. Marreti was back, happily finding his next read at a much lower cost.

"I have a few connections." Damien gave a weak smile and the old man gave him an understanding look.

"Don't worry, she'll come around."

"How do you know?" Damien looked up, surprised.

"That look, it's always a girl and she'll come around. I know these things, you know. I knew right away when I saw Marcus. I said, this one, he's the one for me."

"How do you know it isn't a boy?" Damien's smile grew warmer at the old man's thoughts of his partner. Passed away, but full of happy memories.

"A boy? You'd have a different look. And be a lot more tired," he chuckled. "Marcus didn't make it easy. He could play hard to get better than most girls. And those days, it definitely wasn't easy. But it was worth every minute, every problem, every wall. We knocked them down and kept going. You will, too." He spoke with a confidence that bolstered Damien's spirit, his energy bright and strong in that moment. Love did that.

"I'll try." Damien scanned his purchase.

"Try? Trying is what everyone else does while you win the girl." The old man shook his head. "Try?" He gave a humph. "You won't get anywhere with that. You finish up here and you go to her. Talk to the girl! You clear it up before it’s bedtime, then you'll have a much better look tomorrow," he laughed and clapped Damien on the shoulder in sympathy before paying him and taking his books.

Seeing him out, Damien looked up at the clock. The evening commuter rush was just starting, one of his busiest times. The next train was due in about ten minutes. The bus that would drop him off by Mika’s house would be passing by in fourteen.

_Trying is what everyone else does while you win the girl._

He would give up anything to be with Mika. Determined, Damien moved to the shop door and flipped the old-fashioned sign hanging in the window to “closed”.

"Sorry, we're closing early. Please bring your purchases up front," he called out to his patrons.

*

Matthew got Mika into his car, worried as he saw how her hands shook, how she rubbed her eyes. She sat, holding her head and trying to curl into the smallest ball possible in the car seat.

“Hey, here.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a cold bottle of water and a small travel pack of pills, offering her one. “If you’re like me, your head is killing you right now,” he explained.

“Yeah.” Grateful, she took it and leaned back in the seat, closing her eyes. Truthfully, the pain in her head wasn’t nearly as strong as the pain in her heart.

Matthew drove her home, Mika silent beside him. Thoughts of Sam, of his remorse, switched to concern for her. There would be plenty of time to mourn later, Mika was his focus now. He glanced at her occasionally, worried. She sat, staring at nothing, having swung from a shouting rage to completely withdrawn. She hadn't shed a single tear. He watched her from the corner of his eye. There wasn't much he could say, not until she wanted to talk about it, and even less that would help her through this. Still, he would be here for her.

 _You’ve been through so much,_ he thought as his eyes traced her profile. She was strong and not just in the sense of her energy. Matthew pulled into her driveway and hurried to open the car door for her, getting her inside the house quickly.

"Get comfortable and come back down, okay? Don't worry about anything," he gestured up the stairs before he gave her a supportive half-smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I'll make some dinner."

"Matthew…" her voice trailed off. It was Friday. She was supposed to have dinner with James. Her fears returned as she remembered what happened with Damien, how much she’d hurt him. She couldn't do it. She couldn't see James, wouldn't embarrass herself even further.

"Yes?" Matthew searched her eyes, looking for any sign to help him help her.

"Nothing. Thank you." She balked at telling him, tried to force a smile but it wouldn't come.

"Take your time; I'll be right here." He moved to turn away and thought better of it. "Mika, if you need me or anything, just call, okay?"

"I will." She turned away and hurried up the steps, not looking back, not wanting to face him, either.

Entering her bedroom, she quickly grabbed some sweats from the closet. She wouldn't look at the bed. She walked past it, picking up the vase with James' roses and taking it into the bathroom with her.

_There may come a time that they are red._

Mika pulled her phone out and saw the text. _Damien._

_‘Please, can we talk?’_

She could barely look at it. She'd ruined them. What could she say? Damien was better off without her.

She'd ruin James, too. She’d panic or mess it up. _Or he’ll realize I’m not really what he wanted. I’m not the type of girl to live only for him, not with my career and all. He’ll realize I’m plain, realize I’m not good enough. It will happen again. He’ll look for someone else._

Mika slid out of her clothes. The steam of the shower was condensing on the mirror, but she made herself look.

 _I look terrible. I'm not pretty. I'm not sexy._ Her curves weren't right, her hair just hanging there. Not a single thing about her was attractive. She didn't blame Andrew, how could she? Naomi was gorgeous, pretty and nice and Suzu? Strong, sexy. Both of them were better than her. They weren't plain, they weren’t awkward.

She could talk to a horse way more than any man, much as she’d tried.

How many times had Andrew come up behind her as she stood in this very mirror, whispering in her ear, pressing against her, wanting her? How many times had she told him "no" because she was too tired, or preoccupied or needed to study or not in the mood?

 _More times than I'd said yes._ She'd thought he'd meant it when he'd laugh and say "It's okay, I always want you. Maybe tonight?"

"Tonight," she'd smile and look forward to it, but she had to wonder. _How many times did he then leave to go to them?_

How many times had she spoken to him on the phone and he was distracted? Was he ever with them? _Telling me he loves me, while, while… at the same time?_

 _It isn't your fault._ Anger reared up in her. _He cheated on you. If it was a problem, he should have told you._ Something in her fought back. _It's not your fault. You didn't push him away._

There were times, while she was at school, that she hadn't called him. Days, a few times a week passed during the past year when they hadn't spoken. Classes took precedence: labs, homework, working in the stables or clinics, or a hundred other things that were needed in order to get her doctorate. In order to graduate so they could get married.

 _He understood._ The thought was bitter. _All those times he said he understood and he fucked your best friends. Why didn't he break up with me? Why didn't he just break it off? It would have hurt, but not like this. Not like this._

 _‘Mika?’_ The text popped up. _James._

She couldn't stand the idea of facing his pity, of revealing yet another fucked up thing about her. James was perfect. _And I am so far from it._ She could never live up to it. Even though he didn't appear to be judging her, how could he not be? _Someone like that? Walking around with a mess like me on his arm?_

Or worse, Damien. He was perfectly imperfect. _And you ran out on him._ Panic attack or not, she was so embarrassed, so horrified at how she treated him. _What could I even say? How could he ever trust me?_

 _You are going crazy._ Her anxiety buzzed under her skin. _You hit Naomi. You screamed your head off and made a total fool of yourself in front of everyone at the office. All of them know about it now. All of them heard what Naomi said._ Even if they hadn't known, they all would now. No one would keep it secret.

 _‘I'm sorry James, I can't make it tonight.’_ She forced herself to text back to him.

_‘Is something wrong?’_

_How many times will he ask me that? How long before he realizes I’m a lost cause?_

_‘I'm not feeling well.’_ _It isn’t a lie,_ she told herself.

_‘Did something happen?’_

_‘It's Andrew. I need to take care of some things.’_ She couldn’t say anymore.

 _‘I can help. You do not have to handle it alone.’_ She thanked God he was texting and not talking with her over the phone. He probably would have insisted on coming over.

 _‘No, I'll be alright.’_ Mika gave a small smile. He sounded so concerned, she could imagine him ready to run across the street for her, to save her yet again. _‘A friend is helping me. I just need some time. Some sleep. Can we talk tomorrow?’_

_‘Of course, whenever you’re ready.’_

She looked up at the yellow roses as she shut off her phone. _James really is a friend._

  
*

  
Mika stood under the spray, letting the water flow like the tears that wouldn't come.

_We were going to be married. We were going to have a family._

She remembered how she felt when James told her about Diana leaving him. How she'd pitied him. How she’d been so sure her relationship was perfect. How she'd wondered, a little, what he'd done to deserve it.

How smug she had been that it would never have happened to her.

"Fuck you!" Mika screamed, slamming her palm against the tile. "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" She struck it, again and again, screaming her head off. The water turned scorching hot, the tile ignoring her ineffective blows. She turned and kicked at the shower wall, pain jolting up her leg from her foot.

"I hate you! How could you do this to me? I loved you! You asshole!" All she could see in her mind was Andrew smiling, joking, laughing with her. She’d never seen a single sign there was trouble. He’d hidden it all.

"Mika!" Matthew knocked on the door.

"You lying asshole!" She threw anything she could get her hands on: shampoo, body wash, out of the shower and into the bathroom against the walls, shrieking obscenities.

"Mika!" Matthew tried to get the door open, but she'd locked it. Without thinking, he rammed it with his shoulder. With the second blow, he broke through, the frame splintering from his demonic strength as he used it to get to her.

There was an inch of scalding hot water on the floor, steam filling the whole room. He could see the shadow of Mika battering the wall through it as she screamed and cried beneath the shower.

The water wasn't even hitting her, flowing through the air around her in a perfect sphere.

Matthew called up his mage sight to see the ward, the protective bubble encasing her almost blinding with the amount of power pushed into it. He ran through the water, quickly shutting the shower off. "Mika, stop!" He pressed his hands against the ward. He couldn't reach her. 

She gave one more strike, the light bulbs in the room bursting along with the vase, the walls and ceiling cracking from the explosive release of energy as the ward flashed out of existence. Matthew fell back with a shout, landing on the floor, startling her as she finally heard him.

“Matthew?” Fighting to catch her breath, Mika looked back over her shoulder. The vase, the mirror, were shattered. Flower petals dropped through the steam to float in the standing water around him, their scent heavy in the air. She didn't know what happened, her fear spiking again.

Matthew looked up at her, soaked, sad, and concerned.

She broke down, finally crying.

He pushed himself back up onto his feet, water dripping from his hair and into his eyes. Splashing, he hurried to the linen closet and pulled out a large bath towel, wrapping her in it. Mika flushed brightly as it reminded her she was naked. He'd seen her and covered her as soon as he could.

She turned away, clutching the towel to herself. "I'm sorry."

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong."

She looked back up at him in disbelief. "This isn't anything wrong?"

"This isn't your fault," Matthew asserted, pushing his wet bangs back out of his eyes.

“It is, it is my fault.” Mika bit her lip. "Making you have to deal with all of this, having to see me like this." She dropped her head, pulling away.

Matthew looked at Mika, really looked at her. When he told James that the Company was his Kingdom, he wasn’t lying. At first, it was a job, one he knew: making toys. He liked the Foundation, liked giving toys to children in need. They were small moments of happiness when life was hard. He understood that and it gave him a connection to back home, back when he’d make toys for his mother to try and cheer her up.

He’d looked into the Company’s investments and the stock market. He bumped the income up and in turn bumped the budget up for the foundation. More toys for more kids. But the root of the problems still bothered him; so he learned a little more, tried a little more. He managed to set up another manufacturing site, employing people, helping families. More production, more income, more funding, the Foundation started building houses, the Company grew a little more.

The Family was ecstatic when the first hospital was built, but no one was happier than Matthew. When he walked into that children’s ward, he not only gave those kids toys. He gave them cancer treatments and therapy; they now had a chance at life. He saw their parents and gave them a little more support to deal with what the world had dealt them and their families.

 _His_ People.

 _His_ Kingdom.

Damien wasn’t the only one to watch Mika.

His brother may have been the one to speak with Harold before the spirit left; he may have been the one to follow Mika to Urbana and see her day in and day out, but Matthew watched from afar.

He watched Andrew, too. He made his way up the ladder as fast as he could when he heard the rumors, the stories as he worked among the employees. When he realized the job was too much for Mika’s fiance, the Foundation wasn’t the only thing he helped.

Mika was on his mind more often than he’d admit to anyone. He’d stayed back. He’d dated, tried finding a partner. _Failed miserably,_ he thought to himself as he shoved Sarah from his thoughts. He’d kept his distance but Mika was always there, always on the edge of everything, always in the back of his mind. He helped her the best he could, too.

His Queen.

Matthew was never one to sit back. Not anymore. He was no longer in James’ shadow. He would always step forward, always reach for more, always try to make the next level, always push himself.

 _Whatever it takes._ It was like an addiction for him: each success, each victory, feeding him more than the girls in his bed. Working, living, building, playing the game.

The pieces were coming together at this very moment as he saw Mika staring so sadly at him.

 _His Queen._ Not just the owner of the Company, the figurehead, the Heir to the Anderson legacy. A witch whose magic was coming back, who would need help to learn and control it. A woman whose world was broken.

He could bring her into his, to make it whole and give it to her. Mika, who he could laugh and joke with; who he could cry with; who called him out, even for the little things. _Food snob._

 _His_ Queen.

 _Sorry, Izroul_. He didn’t want to hold back any longer.

“Mika,” Matthew tried to meet her eyes.

"I know you don’t want to be here." She dropped her head, hiding behind her hair.

“I do.” Matthew reached for her, then stopped himself. Her energy was playing with him, dancing around his senses as he felt himself falling and he pushed the feeling back, held it off as he saw her sadness. “What makes you think I wouldn’t want to be here with you?”

Mika bit her lip, denying it. "Andrew did what he did for a reason. I'm not attractive. I’m not anything. And here you've been stuck with me, having to put up with me. Just go." She stared at the floor.

"Andrew was an ass." Matthew’s voice turned hard. He tilted her head up to look at him. “A cheating, lying ass who never deserved you. And stuck with you? I'm not stuck with you! I'm lucky to be with you."

She flinched and pulled away with a sob, the words a painful stab that had Matthew flushing bright red and cursing himself for a fool, his own anger rearing.

"You know what? Fuck him! I can’t stand what he did to you! I am not Andrew and I don't want to be. But I want to be here, with you. I like you! I wouldn't be here otherwise."

Mika looked up at him, surprised.

"And what makes you think you aren't attractive?" Matthew demanded.

"He...I couldn't keep him. I couldn't satisfy him. I, I wasn’t good enough," she answered miserably.

"Andrew was the biggest idiot in the world for hurting you. For making you think-"

Matthew stopped. Mika saw the look in his eyes change, considering her before moving closer. He very deliberately tucked her hair back behind her ear before running his fingers down her cheek and lifting her chin. His anger softened as he looked down into her wide eyes.

"Not attractive?" he whispered, his voice going low, purring in her ears.

Mika felt her stomach drop, desire suddenly coiling into a knot in her core, sinking in as he leaned towards her. He gave her plenty of time to move away, to say no, to stop him. Instead, she gave a quick intake of breath, closed her eyes and let him kiss her.

Pleasure rolled through her body, warming her. Matthew stepped in closer, the fabric of his cuff brushing her shoulder and neck as he ran his fingers over her ear. His lips took hers again, stealing her breath, making her heart pound and her body melt.

"You are one of the sexiest women I've ever met." His hand slid down, his fingers tracing her pulse, sliding over her collarbone. They dropped further to dip down towards the towel, brushing her decolletage as she blushed.

"You don't have to do this." She didn't want to ruin yet another friendship after what she did to Damien. "You don’t understand. I'm…I'm broken. I mess everything up; I'll mess this up, too." She was crying again, trying to pull away from him.

"You don't mess everything up,” He answered her as he gently lifted her head and searched her eyes. " You won’t mess this up. I won’t let that happen.”

“But…”

“I want you." Mika lost herself in the brilliant baby blue of his eyes, feeling a shiver run down her spine before Matthew bent down to claim her mouth again. He turned them, walking Mika backward to the sink as he kissed her. His hand gripped the top of the towel and yanked it from between them, the fabric snapping in the air before he dropped it on the floor.

Her heart was pounding as he moved in close, his hands going to her waist to lift her up and set her on the edge of the sink. Face to face, his look intense, he pushed her knees apart and leaned in, his hips brushing her inner thighs. He was still dressed while she sat spread-legged and naked before him, vulnerable.

"You have no idea how much I want you and I'm going to show you just how sexy you are." Matthew’s determined voice growled in Mika's ear as he ran kisses up her cheek. His hands slid up her ribs to brush the underside of her breasts.

His touch on her skin, it sparked a need in Mika that had her reaching for his shoulders. She leaned into him, her mind going blank, his breath on her neck. She didn't want to think anymore. She wanted to feel, to feel sexy and leave everything else behind, if only for a little while. She wanted to lose herself with Matthew, she trusted him.

"Then have me." She whispered before she tugged his collar, pulling him back to kiss her once more.

Their restraint snapped. Matthew grabbed her hips, pulling her up against him. She could feel his hardness straining for her, his mouth hungry on hers. She moaned, running her hands down his back and leaning forward to nuzzle and nudge his head back, her mouth running from his chin down his neck.

Matthew felt Mika’s energy rush to meet him, swirling around them. He couldn't keep his eyes from going gold, his enthrallment catching both of them, fueled by her power. Gold bands circled wrists and ankles, another collaring her neck. He could see them though she couldn’t, tightening the desire within her, enhancing his hunger.

She was a feast, spread before him. Her hands went for his belt as his went for her breasts. He couldn't be free fast enough for both of them. Matthew maintained enough presence of mind to hold onto his glamour, still keeping his secret of being a demon from her.

Mika's fingers found him and circled, her hand stroked his length as she writhed in his grip, her mouth panting against his as his tongue sought hers. He shoved his clothes down to get them out of the way and grabbed her hips once more, her long legs wrapping around his waist beneath his jacket, her body hungry for him, lining up perfectly.

They both groaned, sharing their breath, as he plunged into her. The world shrank to tightness and stretching, the friction, and the rhythm as Matthew moved in Mika. Leaning back, she linked her hands behind his neck to hang onto him, lifting her hips to let him drive deeper. She couldn’t believe the pleasure, each thrust making her cry out, growing louder as he pushed her to the edge.

Matthew answered her with words, his own mind fogging with the chase, encouraging her, telling her just how good she felt, just how much he wanted her. "I'm going to make you come, again and again, and again." He felt her tightening as he said it.

"Yes. God, yes." She moaned, mindless with need as she poised on the brink. Her body went taut, vibrating in his arms, her breath hitching. Matthew thrust hard and deep, feeling her shatter, both of them lifting and plunging deep into the depths of Mika's energy as he held her close.

Their bodies entwined, they landed on her bed. Mika barely registered the fact that they were no longer in the bathroom. Matthew was naked on top of her, looking down into her eyes as he rode her. Their bodies slid against each other, delighting in the feel as she ramped up again for him.

He leaned down to nip her neck, bracing on his hands at either side of her head. Her body was his, singing with pleasure, her energy flowing into him.

"That's it. Give it to me." He purred in her ear and she cried out as release roared through her again. He kept moving, taking her through it, driving her higher. 

“Wait.” Mika pushed at his shoulders, breathless, making Matthew pause and slide back from her. She fought to catch her breath and sat up as he knelt, still rampant with lust. Her eyes were lost with the gold of his as he fought for his own breath. Her pleasure was high, her energy thick in the air. He felt drunk, wanting back in her body, wanting to take her even further.  

"This way," she gasped with a shy smile and was rewarded with his broad grin as she rolled over onto her stomach. She pushed up onto all fours, looking back over her shoulder at him.

"Ohhhh, and you think you aren’t sexy?" Matthew relished sliding back into her, angling his hips to hit just the right spot to turn her on, making her mewl and clench him. "My favorite," he purred and began ardently thrusting to push her towards her pleasure once more. He smiled as she leaned back into him, feeling her hit the edge and taking her over it with abandon.

He gave her a few seconds to recover, before his powers set her senses on fire once more. He shifted them forward onto the bed, laying over and within her. Changing to a slower, more thorough pace; he reached beneath her to fondle her breasts as her hands gripped the bed sheets, her body undulating beneath him to meet his.

Breathing heavy, Mika gave a low moan. Matthew's mouth came down on the back of her neck, teeth grazing the sensitive skin before sucking, then biting. She arched back in bliss as his clever fingers squeezed and tugged at her nipples. "Come with me," she gasped, practically begged. Her release had her shouting his name, her body gripping him as he buried himself in her.

Matthew hit his breaking point, his shout mingling with Mika’s as he let go and braced himself, pulsing within her, filling her. His enthrallment swirled, circling them both, golden bands sliding over their skin, binding them together before slowly fading. There was a new signature on Mika, a new name.

_His._

The two dropped to lie on the bed panting, exhausted, and satisfied. Matthew wrapped an arm around her, pulling her to him. He spooned her from behind, holding her close. He heard her breathing level then slow as, exhausted, she fell asleep in his embrace.

"I’ll make you happy. I’ll do anything to make you happy," he murmured in her ear. 

*

Damien stepped off the bus and walked along the street into Mika’s neighborhood. It had been over a year since he’d last been here, but it still looked the same: huge houses, winding drives, well-maintained landscapes. The sidewalk was narrow, running along the outside of the wrought-iron fences that enclosed some of the properties.

Hands in his pockets, he strode purposefully down the lane. He remembered exactly where she lived, could have found it at any time of day, in any weather.

The homes and trees grew older, the street widening as he turned a corner and he saw it in the distance: the Anderson Mansion. It was on the far side of the neighborhood, up against the edge of one of the forest preserves that ran through the suburb. It was the same forest he and his brothers had first run through when they were jumped by Malix and his gang. Before they fled and found the mansion, breaking in and changing all of their lives.

Damien walked up the driveway, watching the house as he approached. There were lights on, the general ones that were on timers if he remembered correctly. He paused as he saw the car.

_Zecaeru._

Tentatively he dropped his shields and stretched his power towards the house, searching for their thoughts. Mika’s energy reached him first.

They were together, Matthew’s powers turning her thoughts golden, even in Damien’s mind. Her pleasure and his brother’s filled his senses and Damien took a step back, looking up at the house but seeing only them, through each other’s eyes.

He made a strangled sound, his hand going to his throat, his mind blanking to ride along with theirs as they coupled in Mika’s bed.

_Izroul._

Damien’s name cut through in his head. Recognizing the mental “voice”, he dropped his connection with the lovers in surprise. He spun around, shocked to see the lone figure standing in the evening shadows beneath the trees at the end of the driveway. The flash of golden eyes confirmed it.

**_Raestrao._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit  
> Whatever it takes - Imagine Dragons  
> https://youtu.be/gOsM-DYAEhY
> 
> BTW, I was tempted to call this Chapter "Whip, whip, run me like a racehorse."  
> but mellowed it out to make it fit the story a little better. ;)


	20. I see the devil in my life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reunion.

The Lord of Lilith strode through the halls of his castle, not meeting his guards’ eyes. Uzaeris could see the uncertainty from his recent behavior, feel the fear coming off of them as they walked alongside him, as could the shadow demon he approached.

"My Lord, are you looking for something?" Shadow's tone was mild, but his eyes lit in delight, no doubt feeding off the unintended gift of energy.

"Yes," Uzaeris absently waved a hand. Moving right past him, he stepped into the darker recesses of the library, towards another door without hesitating. He knew better than to show any fear to spark the other demon's hunger. Shadow could be rather cruel when his appetite was whet.

The gaunt demon raised a brow, his long black hair lifting to swirl in the air. The tresses twined to form the shape of hands reaching towards the incubus, only to freeze when Uzaeris' eyes flashed magenta. The two had already tested each other's strength back during the rebellion but the shadow demon continued it upon each meeting, revealing the predator he was.

It had been close before Ezaeur was gone. They'd vied for the succubus' attention, though for completely different reasons. Shadow wanted power, he wanted to rule; Uzaeris wanted peace for both him and his Lady. Alone now, Uzaeris left him to his own devices to keep the kingdom running with the other advisers. Shadow had risen to prevalence among them and frankly, Uzaeris didn't care. The Kingdom continued as it always had, without him.

"Might I assist you, my Lord?" The black eyes studied Uzaeris as the head of the assassins silently moved up behind him. The chime of the incubus' ward echoed as Shadow tested the boundary and magenta power flared to reveal the circle about Uzaeris in his mage sight.

"You cannot." The Lord of Lilith patiently answered, ignoring him and releasing the arcane lock on his private library. He glanced back over his shoulder. "Not with this. I appreciate your careful watch on the Kingdom."

"I am here to serve, of course." Shadow bowed low with a sweep of his arm, though his eyes continued to take in every detail. "I trust you are no longer 'unwell'."

Uzaeris held back his flush. Of course they would consider it that. He had no doubt Shadow knew what had happened. While his room was warded, even in the Shadow realm to keep the assassin's spies out, Raestrao's compulsion had him thoroughly bound. He could not even say the name of the Demon Lord aloud. His thoughts of Mika brought a stabbing pain in his head, near crippling in the beginning. The thought of opening the portal again, even to look at her, left him shaking in a cold sweat.

It was another boundary Shadow had decided to press when he realized what must have happened. Uzaeris recalled how the adviser caught him fleeing the halls to go up on the roof, needing the open air to try to catch his breath as Raestrao’s intimidation choked him. Uzaeris almost succumbed to the urge to jump from the heights when the shadow demon appeared.

"You seem unsettled, my Lord. Does it have something to do with the Lady?"

"Lady?" Startled, Uzaeris turned away from the parapet. "Ezaeur has been gone for a very long time." His eyes narrowed, hiding the realization of just how close it had been.

"I meant the new Lady. Or is she not coming? What was her name?" Shadow inquired, as if it were perfectly natural that they have a leisurely conversation on the roof. 

"There is no new Lady. You are mistaken." Uzaeris forced the words out in a rush, the extreme pain in his head making his vision cloud as he stared past the steward, out over the Kingdom. "Leave me!" He managed to hold steady, sweat breaking out on his pallid skin, despite the cool wind.

"Of course. My sources are obviously wrong." And Shadow had left, his lips a thin sneer and mockery in his eyes before he turned away.

Days later, Uzaeris was stronger now, having learned to accept half the pain and avoid the other half. He could not stop trying, he could not give up and hide in the farthest possible recesses of his lands to alleviate Raestrao's command. Mika needed him.

The pain was sharp, buried in his brain and Uzaeris bit his tongue to pull from the memory and truncate the fear once more. He could hear Shadow's dry chuckle in the library behind him.

"Let me know if you should change your mind, my Lord."

Uzaeris' eyes flashed in anger. He turned away and slammed the door closed behind him, leaving the guards to the advisor's whims. He could not enthrall the assassin. Shadow had no emotion, nor passion, as cold as the darkness he was born from. Magic was another story: a power the other demon deeply coveted and would never have.

With a sigh, Erik turned back to his sanctuary, his personal workroom. The circle inscribed upon the floor had served Ezaeur's family for generations. Her power flowed in his veins, connecting with the wards around the room once more and lighting the lines with a soft purple glow.

 _Mika's magic is awakening. She'll be in withdrawal from the drug by now._ He had wanted to find her, heal her before it came to that, but that was only a small piece of what he suspected was a much bigger picture. He needed as much information as he could gather, needed to know just what he was dealing with.

 _It will cost me._ Uzaeris' energy was leeching away in the fight against Raestrao’s power. Last night, he'd been forced to call upon his servants.

Feasting on the girls ravenously, he'd felt as if he betrayed Mika with every lick, every thrust. He wouldn't look at his partners, keeping his bedroom dark and moving to more and more lascivious acts to keep his body engaged as he fought the pain and tried to imagine her in his arms crying out for more, rather than the truth.

Eventually, he summoned all of his bed mates and let his enthrallment take them. Fine golden chains wound throughout the room and over his bed from his clenched hands. The courtiers and courtesans fell to his power, reaching for each other in passion. They worked each other up to the heights of ecstasy against the walls, on the floor, across the wide expanse of his bed.

Uzaeris sat cross-legged in the middle as sweat-slick bodies writhed around him. The wet sounds and slapping of flesh, combining with their moans, echoed in the shadows from the light of his brilliant golden eyes. He stared at nothing, building his strength, and battling the fear for even a memory of walking with her.

Now, his energy as high as possible, Uzaeris had left his room filled with the exhausted lovers of his court. Mika needed his help and he was ready to seek answers with his magic.

The glow of the workroom's wards faded back to the background. Neither they nor his personal shields could help him from Raestrao. His brother's command was buried deep inside him. He could not remove it. He knew better than to try. But they did give him respite from the call of Mika's magic.

It had grown faint, barely on the edge of perception. It made it all the worse as he worried. He could feel the electric instability of it. He could only imagine what she might be going through, so much time had passed and he hadn’t tried another portal. Not yet.

Approaching the circle, he called up his magic. It would have been easier if she were here but their powers were behaving oddly. His magic and hers, they appeared to be triggering each other. His alignment to the house should never have occurred. The defenses might be weakening. His stomach clenched as he fought another wave of fear from Raestrao's command as well as his own mind.

_She dreamed of Malix._

The last time the devil had shown up in her dreams; Uzaeris had pulled her out of it, leaving her to wake in Damien's arms but her dream had come true. If the devil went after her again...

Uzaeris didn't know which was worse, imagining Mika returning to find Raestrao waiting to prey on her, or her at the mercy of Malix and his gang of devils. Even if he could not return to the human world, perhaps he could send another. Or perhaps he could contact Zecaeru.

_Something. I have to do something._

With his thoughts, he could never approach Izroul.

*

Damien recognized James, his smile blooming as he hurried towards his older brother. It’s been so long! He'd greet him with a hug, they could catch up, they could talk and he could ask him about Mika. He felt Raestrao open his thoughts as he always did, the gesture welcoming to him. James always accepted his powers.

He didn’t notice that this time his brother stood resolute, his expression unreadable as James’ thoughts entered Damien's mind. The mind reader's smile turned to confusion, then shock, the youngest of the incubi stumbling to a halt twenty feet away as the eldest regarded him. James' countenance remained stoic, waiting for his brother's reaction.

What the mind reader saw, what he learned, Raestrao wasn't entirely sure. His brother's power had the ability to draw more than the topmost thoughts from a person: sometimes memories, sometimes feelings. But he didn't hide the most difficult from Izroul; he knew better than to try.

 _Aomaris._ The name and all that went with it.

Damien clutched his head with his hands. "Sam," it was a whisper swallowed by the rustling leaves overhead as the wind picked up and blew through James' hair.

"No!" Damien's denial echoed down the empty street. "Why? Why would you do that?" the mind reader demanded, his voice cracking as tears filled his eyes. "You're lying!"

"You know I’m not." James' voice was cold, distant as Damien tried to assimilate everything he suddenly had to face. "I have to do what is necessary." James' thoughts shifted again, this time to a warning.

"Mika?" The copper-haired incubus looked back over his shoulder to stare up at the mansion, Mika and Matthew silently curled together within. "No...You didn't. "

"It had to be done."

"As Andrew?" Damien shook his head in disbelief.

"She was drowning, trapped in sleep."

"And that makes it right?! To make her think...?" The mind reader accused, unable to say it. "You're acting like HIM! It's like you don't care who you hurt anymore!" He would never, ever call that monster father. The thought that he was finally dead was a fierce joy, but at a cost. James' thoughts, his feelings, were twisted from the brilliant demon Damien had looked up to, into something else. There were so many layers, so many thoughts caging others, that he didn't know what was real, what was James, and what was the machinations of the Demon Lord.

"I care; I do care for her. I care for her very much. I have been protecting her and I will continue to do so." Raestrao stood firm, folding his arms, his face grim.

 _Uzaeris._ Their other brother's name flashed through James' mind. Damien couldn't focus, not with everything before it; but the memory of Raestrao striking their brother down, commanding and banishing Erik, flashed in Damien's mind forcing him to see it. A small cry escaped his lips. "How could you?"

"We've changed, Damien. Every single one of us. I must protect my own, be it from you or our brothers." He could feel James' anger, his possessiveness, and the thought that Zecaeru was now in Mika's bed.

"No. No, I won't let you do this." Damien started walking towards James once more, this time with determination. "She isn't a possession. She should choose what she wants."

"She will choose. I understand her and she understands me," James declared. "Mika is and deserves to be, a Queen. Her magic, her energy, her compassion..." James' justifications passed through his mind, heavy with admiration for her, as the words left his lips.

"A queen? In which kingdom? Human or Demon?" Damien asked, clenching his jaw.

"Why can't I have both?" James saw his anger and his eyes flashed gold again, his posture straightening to that of the Demon Lord he was. His aura of intimidation rolled off of him, his youngest brother feeling it.

"I stood aside once and she did not choose you," Raestrao held his ground. "I will not stand aside this time. She will help my Kingdom tenfold but even more so, it is about time I fought for what I want."

Damien saw the memory of Mika sitting at James' table, placing her hand over his and feeling her affection for his eldest brother. He saw her laugh from James' view, heard her moan as his brother's enthrallment sparked her passion, tasted her as if his own mouth fed so intimately upon her. He held her once more as she panicked, this time from him he realized, as James' thoughts shifted to that morning. He watched her covertly as she put on her makeup, feeling the tenderness James felt along with the desire to see it every day, to be with her every day. To have someone to cherish and protect and love.

"Mika isn't yours!" Damien snarled, breaking into a run. "I won't let her go!" He moved in, swinging his fist. James blocked, surprised. He grappled the smaller demon only to have Damien disappear in a flash of purple flame. The younger brother came up behind him, James spinning around from the clone to exchange blows once more.

"Damien, stop!"

"You think she loves you?" The copper-headed mind reader tossed his head, shaking the hair from his eyes as another of him came up behind James, grappling his arms as he took him off-guard. Damien's fist rammed hard into James' stomach, the older brother heaving with the force as he fought to pull free. "Not one thought. There was not one thought of you while we've been together the past two days!" His vehemence startled his brother, the words cutting.

Damien punched him again and James dropped to his knees. His brother back-handed him, making him sway before two others grabbed his arms, pulling them taut.

"I heard you on Sam's deathbed, using my name as the excuse for your actions! No one will ever suffer like me again? What about your own brothers?" Damien struck him again, his anger blinding.

James’ eyes flashed as his head came back up, his lip split, his glasses crooked and bruising his face. "Enough!" His demonic voice echoed, his command roaring out from around him. Once again the clones about him burned as his power struck them, as he stood and straightened his lenses. Damien was nowhere to be seen.

"You call Uzaeris a viper, yet you are the one turning on us! You want to make the world better yet you treat us and Mika like this?" Damien’s voice echoed around him.

"You have no idea what I am dealing with."

"I can hear your thoughts, James. I know exactly what you're dealing with. And I'm already tired of the lies you’re telling yourself in order to justify getting what you want."

Raestrao grit his teeth, his pride stinging. "You don't know. You don’t know all of it. Uzaeris took Ezaeur from me."

"Like Ezaeur took Mika from me?" Damien's voice held an eerie, sadistic note.

"He joined the rebellion against our Kingdom!"

"He joined the rebellion against the Demon Lord. Something you wish you'd done, but are too proud to admit." Damien's contempt was heavy.

"Come out, Damien."

"Why don't you command me to? Or have you figured out that doesn't quite work?" his dark chuckle echoed.

A shadowy figure ran from the trees, reaching for James. He summoned his sword and swung, another eruption of purple flame lighting his features as the clone fell and burned away. Two more ran for him from either side. He held them off with his blade.

"If Mika is yours, why is Zecaeru in her bed, Izroul?" James snarled back. "He has built a Kingdom. What do you have to offer her?" James dispatched the other two as silence answered him. "What have you done with your life? What have you done to earn her? What can you give her? You scorn my attempts to take on and change a world, yet I would give her that world, no matter the cost. Do not mock my suffering."

"Your suffering? My life in the Abyssal Plains was nothing but pain." More dark figures approached, a circle of them. Raestrao switched from his sword to his handguns, his arms spreading wide as he spun slowly to keep them back. Even more appeared along the edges of his vision, stepping out from the shadows of the street, the bushes, and trees. "You were the one to teach me to fight past it. You led us, made us a family, taught us respect and honor, love and trust. Each of us looked up to you. I idolized you, Raestrao. All this time.

"You've fallen.” His voice no longer echoing, Damien stepped forward, the real Damien, in front of his brother. “Are you going to pick yourself up or are you going to shoot me?"

Shots rang out through the neighborhood, Damien dropping at James' feet.

*

Matthew opened his eyes, Mika's head tucked under his chin, his arm curled around her waist beneath her breasts as he held her back flush against him. Her breathing was slow and even, one arm resting on top of his to hug it to her. A soft snore escaped her and he smiled in the dusky light from the window, the shadows in the room showing night had emerged while they enjoyed each other.

He tilted his head down to sniff her still-damp hair, the scent of her shampoo tickling his nose. Even the smell of her was cute. He tightened his hug then rolled her forward, Mika reaching to clutch her pillow and continue sleeping on her stomach. Matthew paused a moment to study her, memorizing her soft smile and gentle features. He ran his hand over her hair before he carefully slid from the bed, calling up his old familiar glamour: the hoodie and jeans comfortable, his feet bare.

"Keep an eye on her," he called softly back into the bedroom as he left it.

Erik was the first to find the books, Matthew seeing him reading them before he and his brothers had left the mansion and Mika. Naturally, he searched them out as well, opening another power for himself. Just as he had done when he learned how to read, he’d kept it from his brothers. Even Damien.

Matthew entered Harold’s study. Andrew had upgraded the computer but the lock was still there, integrated when the files were carried over from the old. It was designed to be obvious and invisible to those that knew or didn't, respectively. A few keystrokes and the arcane lock, as well as the physical on the drawer, released. Matthew slid open what Andrew and Mika had always considered decorative, pulling out Harold's journal and spell books. He'd copied most of the spells into his own book but just in case, he'd check it again.

Matthew's magic wasn't exactly strong. He couldn't make wards, he couldn't heal, and elemental and ethereal magic weren't his forte. But he could summon. He was very, very good at summoning. He could disrupt magic or dispel it, imbue it into the items he summoned, and was very good at setting contingencies. Magic was another form of science, after all.

Mika's magic looked to be warding and elemental, in line with Harold's. The magician had kept a diary. It had helped Matthew when he read it, perhaps it was the key to helping Mika start to understand as well.

Shots rang out at the front of the house and Matthew's head flew up. He dropped the books back in their drawer, slamming it closed before jogging from the room.

"What happened? What was that?" Mika was sitting up in bed, calling to him as he passed.

"I don't know. Stay in the house, I'm going to go check." His jog turned into a run, gym shoes forming on his feet.

"Matthew, wait!" he heard her calling after him as he descended the stairs two at a time and threw the front door open.

Mika snatched up some clothes, throwing them on in record time, much as she did whenever on call. She ran after him as another shot cut through the air.

Matthew's hands were in his pockets, already pulling his blades as he saw the flare of purple flames, the forms dropping in a burning circle. _James._ His brother stood in the middle of them, bearing his handguns, looking over his shoulder to see Matthew approaching. His golden eyes burned. At his feet, at his feet was...

"Damien!" Matthew called out loud, steel flashing as he released it to spin towards James, breaking into a flat-out run.

"Get down!" James shouted before he, himself, dropped. Matthew’s blades cut the air above him. James’ body was protecting their younger brother, one hand going to Damien's chest to try and heal it as the young demon coughed up blood.

More bullets rang out, Matthew dropping and rolling, sprinting for the cover of the trees as they flew past. Dark figures that looked like the members of a street gang ran for them from the neighborhood, from the edges of the property. Red-skinned punks and gang bangers in hoodies and jackets bearing guns, knives, chains, and pipes, with wicked grins as they whooped and howled.

"Damien?!" Mika ran out the mansion door, staring at them all, horrified.

"Well, well, well. Welcome to the party, Bitch!"

Mika gasped and spun to see the tall, muscular devil leaning against the wall behind her. Bare-chested in black jeans and leather jacket, spikes cuffed Malix’s wrists and combat boots. His slitted yellow eyes gleamed in amusement.

"Mika!" James' voice echoed as he saw and called out to her. "Matthew!" His command was understood by the youngest brother.

"On it!" Matthew darted for her, heart in his throat, when a line of black flames suddenly rose up in front of him, forcing him back. Several of the devils charged out to circle him, laughing.

"I don't think so." Eris grinned, hands up in the air from casting.

"Who are you?" Mika stepped back, almost slipping down the stairs as Malix pushed himself away from the wall.

"Still don't remember me?" A sharp-toothed grin spread across his face. "I'm your new boyfriend and your little pretty boys are going down before you do." He reached for her, grabbing at her hair and Mika ducked, stumbling.

"Stay away from her, Malix!" Matthew threatened.

James swung his guns around, as well. "You have no idea who you're dealing with."

"What was that, Demon Lord?" Malix's shrieking laugh cut through the air, Mika paling as she recognized it from her nightmares. She turned and ran down the steps, straight for James and Damien. She could feel the devil's claws scrape the clothes on her back as he just missed snatching her sweatshirt.

"Kill them and we'll take her back with us, boys!" Malix called over the fray.

The devils converged. Matthew's blades flew as he fought back the circle trying to close tighter around him.

Damien's eyes flared violet as he looked up at the tree branches overhead. He couldn't move, a bullet lodged in his spine. Mika's panicked thoughts raced in his mind. He opened his shields all the way, reaching for everyone around him. Dark figures leapt up from the ground in the middle of the fighting, clones of Damien appearing to face the devils as he used their thoughts to guide him. It pulled at his remaining strength, the world spinning as he grew dizzy.

"Damien, don't! You need to heal!" James shouted as he saw the army of clones appear.

"S, Sam?" The youngest brother's eyes flared once more in confusion. The name made James’ blood freeze and he quickly looked back at him, just in time to see the violet glow dim as his brother pushed out the last of his strength.

"Damien, no! NO!"

The youngest brother’s eyes closed, his breath hitching as he slipped into unconsciousness.

"Damien!" Mika screamed, tears rushing up as she saw and heard James yelling. The devils tried to surround her. She ducked and weaved, slipping out of their grasp as Malix watched them from the top of the mansion's stairs, laughing.

"Get back!" Matthew sliced at his foes, hellfire rushing at him as Eris threw it. He saw his opportunity and let a blade fly, the steel stabbing through her palm, her shriek filling the air.

James' glamour broke with his anger, horns flaring from his head, eyes glowing as the illusion burned away in golden flames to reveal his striped body. He summoned his sword into one hand, swinging and cutting down the knife-wielding devil in front of him.

Mika skidded to a halt, eyes wide as she saw James' demonic form. One of them jumped her from behind, snatching her up in an iron hold and carrying her off with a snarl. She screamed, calling Damien's name. Everything within her reached for him, praying for him to be okay. James called back to her, fighting to cut down the devils between them, Matthew shouting.

A hand clamped down over Mika’s mouth. The world blurred as her captor ran, devils running up behind them and alongside them, jumping bushes and dodging trees. They plunged into the forest, leaving the mansion and fight behind. Shouts and catcalls echoed through the woods, Mika struggling in her captor's grip. She fought to free her arms, kicked back at his legs. He shifted his hold on her with a deep growl rumbling through his chest. The sound made Mika freeze in terror.

_It isn't human._

They were out-distancing the devils, their speed increasing past any that should have been possible. Mika shrunk back, the trees whipping by as if they were in a car. A few of the devils still kept pace, their yellow eyes burning with power.

"Come on!" A gruff, gravelly voice rasped in her ear, huffing to keep its breath. "I know you're watching. Open it!" They dodged another tree, barely in time. The shoulder of Mika's captor's coat splintered the bark as they brushed it. She felt the hand on her mouth loosen its grip and bit it. Hard.

"Ow! Damn it!” He howled and almost dropped her, pulling his hand away. “Just call him! We need to get out of here."

"Call who?!" She gave a cry as he slid down a short ridge in the woods, jumping a creek before rushing up the far side.

"Call Uzaeris! Tell him to open the portal! Now!" It was a roar in her ear and Mika panicked.

"Uzaeris!!!" She didn't know what the word meant. She didn’t have enough time to continue as an odd rush erupted within her. A cluster of white and purple comets flew from her, racing ahead of them to burst into an explosion of color. A golden tear ripped across their view of the forest, stretching with spiraling purple power around a dark void. Her captor dove into it, Mika screaming and twisting around in his hold to reach back for the light.

The portal slammed closed behind them, both of them plummeting into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit:  
> Devil in Me - Jamie N. Commons  
> https://youtu.be/zcXpUP-IxCo


	21. I know it's not that easy or that simplified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some answers

"No!" Matthew saw Mika pulled off her feet, the devils laughing and taunting as they ran off with her. “Put her down!” He tried stepping forward, but they only closed in tighter, forcing him back. The ones circling him sneered as his eyes narrowed.

"Looks like she's ours now!" Malix called out, laughing as Raestrao raged. The Demon Lord cut down as many as he could, roaring as he swung his sword.

“I can’t wait to take her magic,” Eris chuckled and threw another ball of hellfire straight at Matthew.

His energy high, Matthew's eyes flashed bright blue in silent anger. Instead of dodging, he ran straight for it. The dark flames caught his arm, engulfing his sleeve and burning through it to sear his skin painfully. Instead of letting it weaken him, he tightened his grip on his knife, running at the devil in front of him.

The punk's chain couldn't swing up fast enough before Matthew leapt onto him. His blades stabbed down into the devil's shoulders, the sharp edges slashing the arteries in its neck. Using the momentum to propel himself up and over, his gym shoe came down beside one of the blades and he tugged them out before launching over his foe.

It dropped him right in front of Eris. He swung his dagger in a wide arc, catching the side of her face and feeling the steel drag across her cheekbone. She screamed, black flames flaring up to engulf them both, but Matthew was still moving. He spun to the side of her, his other blade ramming up into a kidney as he stepped behind her.

"Not this time." He snarled, closing in up against her back and slashing his bloody blade across her throat. The female devil crumpled, her magic dying out.

The others ran for him, Malix bellowing from the stairs. "You little shit!" The devil pulled his pistol, firing a round as Matthew turned to face it.

The bullet ricocheted off of James' sword, the Demon Lord intervening as he closed with the devil. "Get Damien safe!" James called over his shoulder before summoning a second sword for his other hand. He swung them around, setting a defensive stance between the devil and his brother.

"Get yourself safe!" Matthew snarled. "Your fucking glamour, James!"

James finally noticed the sirens echoing in the distance and Malix's brows quirked. "The Demon Lord hauled off by the cops?" Another burst of laughter followed and James disengaged, stepping back as he realized he had to address it before the humans appeared and saw him. "I got what I wanted," the devil crowed as he backed off as well, sticking his fingers in his mouth and blowing a shrill whistle. "Back to base, boys! Let's leave these losers to explain it all." Malix aimed and fired one last round, not at James or Matthew but past them, towards the ground.

"Damien!" Matthew turned and ran for his brother as the devils scattered.

Malix's laughter echoed. James summoned his pistols to fire one last time before the devil disappeared into the woods, taking down two more of the punks. He turned about and rushed back to his brothers, wrapping his glamour back around himself. Once more, he looked the quiet conservative in sweater and glasses as he knelt.

Light flared, not only the red and blue of the police arriving but bright crystal white. Time stopped, the cars and humans freezing in place as Matthew and James looked at each other. Malix's shot went wide but the earlier hits were still bleeding, blood slowly pooling beneath Damien, his skin deathly pale.

"Explain." The reverberating chiming of the angels' speech filled James' ears and he turned about to see three of the celestial entities.

"Our brother was attacked." James stood.

"This is not your place." The sound of their disapproval was off-key.

"No humans were hurt," he asserted.

"You were seen. Where is the girl?"

"They took her, " Matthew called up at them. He pressed his hands to Damien, trying to give what little healing he could manage, slowing the bleeding further.

"Where is the girl?" The voice grew louder, making both demons still.

"We do not know, but we intend to get her back," James finally answered, his eyes going gold in his impatience. "Help us."

"This is not your world."

"It isn't theirs, either!" Matthew quickly stood, letting his anger show. “If not us, help her at least!” They simply ignored him.

"The Demon Lord does not belong here."

"I'm only here to protect the girl," James insisted. Silence answered him, weighing, appraising. He flushed, Matthew’s eyes flicking back and forth between him and their judgment.

"Then do so or we intervene," they finally answered. The angels turned away, fading, the devils' bodies fading along with them to leave the brothers. Not a trace of the fight remained except them.

James quickly bent down and picked Damien up, carrying him over one shoulder. "Can you track them? Can you find her?" he asked Matthew as they hurried across the street towards his home.

"I will," Matthew vowed, keeping up beside him as they stepped onto the porch.

"Then I will heal Damien and keep an eye out if any more of them show. Call me when you find anything. We'll join you when we can." James carried Damien through his door just as the world shifted back into motion behind them.

The police cars pulled into Mika’s empty driveway to find nothing, the calls of a disturbance an obvious prank for such a high-end neighborhood.

Thinking better of it, James turned back. "Matthew," he called, watching as his younger brother paused at the bottom of the stairs and looked back at him. "Be careful."

Matthew bit his bottom lip, considering, then briskly nodded. "You too," he replied before disappearing into the night.

*

  
Mika quickly shut her eyes as bright sunlight erupted around her. They dropped down onto hard ground, packed dirt and roots bruising her hip as she landed. Her captor landed with his own thud behind her, a quick intake of breath hissing through his teeth. She struggled to sit up and look around. They were in another forest, in daylight. A much older forest with trees bigger than she’d ever seen, the trunks several feet wide. The damp, green air filled her nose, insects buzzing around them. The thug behind her rose, brushing his hands off on his cargos before reaching down and taking hers, yanking her to her feet with a grunt.

"Who are you?" Mika stared at him, pulling her hand away. His face was shrouded by a hoodie, only a square jaw, rough with brown stubble, visible. His jacket, cargos, and sneakers were dirty and torn. The smell of him hit her, making her raise her cuff to her nose and step back. He looked like a vagrant and smelled even worse.

"That's not important.”

“Why did you bring me here? You don’t look like one of them.” She took another step back as she looked him over. “You’re not…”

“What?” he snapped, voice brimming with annoyance as he looked down at himself. He tried to brush some of the dirt off his clothes with a scowl, only succeeding in spreading it with the rest of the stains. “What aren’t I?”

“Red,” she finished weakly.

“Oh,” he sounded miffed. “That’s because I’m not one of them.” Mika gave him an unsure look and he turned away in frustration.

“Look, that’s not important. What's important is that we get you to someone who can help you," he growled out. “Come on.” He turned away and started walking through the woods.

Mika noticed he was hunched over, holding his side as he walked. She could hear his heavy breathing still, short and erratic. He's in pain, she realized. He kept moving and she quickly ran through the underbrush to catch up. She wanted to ask if he was okay but with his attitude, she doubted she’d get an answer.

"Why do you want to help me?" She asked instead.

"Things have been happening, right? Weird shit? Not only with James and Matthew?" His voice was rough, impatient. She could barely keep up with him as he kept hiking.

"You know them?" Mika suppressed the anxiety that climbed with his words. _How does he know them? Who is this guy?_

"Yeah. I know them." Bitter sarcasm dripped. They stepped out of the brush onto a dirt road and he turned onto it, nodding to himself as if he’d finally gotten his bearings.

"If you won't tell me who you are, will you at least tell me where we are?" Mika asked, exasperated. Nothing in or around Chicago even remotely looked like this. “What did you call this place? Uzaeris?”

He paused, considering her, then gave a deep bark of condescending laughter. "It has enough wood,” he mumbled under his breath as she stared at him, annoyed. Finally, he gave a huff. “That’s not its name. We’re in the Abyssal Plains."

"The what?"

"The demon world," he clarified as he continued to tromp down the path. “Our home.”

"Demons?!" Mika looked around again. _This certainly doesn’t look like hell._

"Well, what did you think we are?" He gave a snort. "I thought you were supposed to be smart."

"We?" Mika fought to keep up with him. “I’m not a demon.”

"No shit. My brothers and I, doofus. We're demons." He paused and turned to her, a flash of green glinting from the depths of the hood. "That bitch really did a number on you, didn't she?" He started walking again.

 ** _What was that, Demon Lord?_ ** Mika’s stomach dropped as she remembered the taunt called out over the fight, what she saw before he ran off with her.

“James.” She spoke the name out loud. The mild, perfect businessman from across the street. _He’d changed: his body, those horns…_ A thrill went through her, not all of it uncertainty. ”James is a demon?” she asked as she heard an annoyed sniff.

“Yeah, he’s a demon.” He addressed her as if she were a toddler, trying his patience.

“And you’re one, too?” Mika asked, her lips thinning at his attitude. _I didn’t ask to come here._

He gave a half-shrug as he kept walking. “We all are, James, Matthew, Damien.”

Mika stopped dead in her tracks, staring at his back. _My brothers and I. They're brothers? Matthew? Damien? **And they all are like James?**_

He stopped, realizing she wasn’t following him and turned back to her. “They didn’t tell you?” He gave a disgusted huff.

“No,” she answered weakly, feeling lost.

“Hey,” he moved back to her. Sighing, he reached up and pulled his hood back to reveal messy, short brown hair and a dirty, tired countenance. He looked like a man, barely older than her. “You’re gonna be okay. It’s just… it’s gonna be hard for a while, alright? There’s a lot you’ve forgotten,” his mouth thinned into a tight line, anger flaring once more. His green eyes seemed to flash.

“I… I knew you before? Was it that time? The days I’ve forgotten? Six years ago?” Mika studied him, trying so hard to remember, wanting to remember…anything.

“Pfft, don’t bust a vein or something,” he taunted with a sneer, turning away and starting to walk again.

"What do I call you?" She finally asked, exasperated herself.

"Sam. Call me Sam," he admitted, looking down at his battered sneakers. He walked on without looking back at her.

“Sam?” Mika paused once more, staring at him sadly. He stopped and turned around, impatient.

“What now?”

“Is Damien going to be all right?” she asked quietly and his eyes softened.

“Yeah, he’ll be alright. He’s a lot stronger than he looks.” He tilted his head down the road. “Come on, we gotta go.”

 _Sam the Demon._ Mika shook her head and followed after him. She wanted to ask more, but he didn’t appear to want to keep talking. In a way, she didn’t want to either. Seeing Damien like that, she was worried, more than worried. Once again she prayed he was okay. _Please. Please let him be okay._

 _Izroul._ The word popped up in her mind. _No, not a word, a name. His name._ Somehow, she knew it. _Izroul. The name of a demon._

Mika’s heart hurt as she walked with Sam, worried for Damien, concerned for Matthew and James.

And wondering just what a demon really is.

*

  
“What do you mean you didn’t see where they went?!” Matthew hissed the words under his breath as he made his way through the forest preserve, barefoot and silent. The thin beams of flashlights swung around through the woods in the distance. He could hear others moving around him.

Matthew kept himself tightly wrapped in a glamour of invisibility. It wouldn’t prevent the devils from seeing him, but any humans walking in the woods would never find him. As for Malix’s gang, staying deep in the shadows would help him remain unseen.

“Where the fuck is she?!” Malix’s voice echoed through the woods. “Which one of you took her?”

 _So they’re looking for her, too._ Matthew spun behind a tree and crouched down, his back up against the trunk. A pair of demons ran past in the opposite direction from where he was heading. Gunfire echoed and one dropped from a headshot, blood spraying the leaves in the dark. The other left them for dead as they scrambled to put as much distance between them and their leader.

“They ran too quickly. I couldn’t follow.” The quiet voice was just as annoyed as it answered Matthew.

“Great! Fucking, great! And none of you bitches have any real fucking magic to help,” Malix snarled.

Matthew couldn’t keep the grin from his lips as Malix went off into another rage, the devils moving deeper into the forest. It had been satisfying to take Eris down. His arm still stung, but that would fade by morning.

 _Mika isn’t here but she isn’t with them, either._ “Can you smell her?” he asked, cautiously standing back up.

“Yes, but it’s going to take forever,” the voice answered him belligerently.

 _He sounds like Sam,_  Matthew thought to himself, his heart giving a lurch. “Then it takes forever.” he moved back into the open, ignoring the devil’s body. He would not return to James without tracking down every lead, turning every stone. If he was lucky, he’d find Mika, himself.

_I never meant for this to happen._

_*_

A loud knock sounded on the door and Uzaeris' head lifted from the books he was flipping through. Pages of notes he'd taken were scattered across the table. He'd found a spell, a possibility to identify the magic, to try to determine what was happening to her. The only problem was he would need Mika.

Uzaeris hissed as the pain burned behind his eyes again, nausea strong before he beat it back. He ignored the second knock, trying his hardest to avoid her name in his thoughts.

"My lord, there is something that might interest you," Shadow's voice called through the thick wood.

"Go away!" He didn't have time for the adviser's power plays.

"It appears there's a human approaching the city, my lord."

"A human?" Uzaeris' eyes snapped open. He strode to the door, releasing the arcane locks and stepping out before Shadow could enter the room.

"She's with a demon, my lord. Approaching the city from the Western road. I thought you might be interested. That is, before the slavers find her." Shadow’s black eyes watched him intently.

"What is a human doing-" A wave of familiar energy slid over Uzaeris' skin, breaking past his wards, calling him, making his breath catch. He paled even as his heart leapt.

_Mika._

He almost passed out at the thought of her name, the world going white once more. He gripped the knob of the door behind him, pouring healing power into his body to fight the shock that threatened.

"Shall I have her brought to you?" Shadow studied him but kept his countenance stoic.

"No! I will handle it. Ensure that arrangements are made to accommodate them. Give her the best suite, Shadow. Every courtesy," Uzaeris instructed, trying to hold in his agitation.

The thin demon inclined his head in acceptance. "I will see to it personally, my lord." The adviser stepped out of view, entering the shadow realm to quickly obey.

Uzaeris let out a deep breath as he locked the door behind him. _What demon would she be with?_ Zecaeru and Izroul didn't know he ruled the lands of Lilith, did they? _Raestrao?_ He'd never believe the Demon Lord would willingly bring her close to him. _Unless he means to torment me._ But Shadow's spies would have recognized Raestrao immediately. There was no way the Demon Lord would travel these lands alone with a human.

 _How did she even get here?_ Uzaeris’ fingers itched, wanting to call upon the magic to scry on her, but he couldn’t afford to. His body was already shaking with weakness. _How will I stand to see her? How could I be in the same room with her, let alone speak with her?_ His panic was rising once more, Raestrao’s power throbbing with the pounding of his heart.

He couldn’t let it keep them apart. He had to move without thinking.

_Just go._

_*_

They finally broke out of the forest, Mika fighting exhaustion. Her sweatshirt felt too warm, her nerves a constant buzzing beneath her skin. Truthfully, she just wanted to sit, just wanted to sleep but Sam kept going, resolutely storming on down the path. He wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t answer her questions. Anger rolled off of him in waves. Mika didn’t know what she did to deserve it, but she had to keep up.

They topped a rise and she halted with wonder as they finally had a view of the world. A lush valley spread beneath them, full of thriving farms. The sparkle of a river and streams shone through the greenery, spanned with stone bridges. In the distance, an elaborate white castle rose, a thriving city wrapped around the base of the hill it sat upon. Beautiful in the afternoon sunshine, it looked like something right out of the French Renaissance.

“Hmmph. That’s new,” Sam commented dryly as he stepped back beside her. He glanced over at her. “You okay?”

"I’m a little tired," Mika admitted. She didn’t want to complain, didn’t want to get in a fight. She felt dizzy, drained. It had been a long day with all that had happened. Her fight with Naomi felt like it was ages ago. She worried about Damien and Matthew, wondered about James. "Everything that's happened..." She stumbled and her world went gray.

"Shit!" Sam rushed, triggering his speed as he saw her passing out. The stitch in his side stabbed into him, his muscles spasming painfully as he caught her. He gritted his teeth, hefting her up into his arms like a bride, ignoring how his body protested.

A flash of purple lit the forest behind him and Sam spun around. The teleportation ward shone brightly upon the ground. A demon, wrapped in a familiar glamour, stood within it.

"Aomaris?!" Erik’s eyes went huge with shock as he saw his brother. “I thought you were dead!” He quickly switched to his mage sight. He could see the purple and white magic flowing about her, see the deep red within his brother. The eyes of the dragon looked back at him from it.

 ** _It really is him._**  

Pure joy, almost overwhelming, hit him. Erik stepped out of the ward, ready to rush his brother, only to feel a wave of agony slice through him. Mika was right there, right in Sam’s arms, only twenty feet away. _I can’t!_ He dropped to his knees as Aomaris stared at him, surprised.

 ** _"Help us."_ ** A deep rumbling voice filled Uzaeris' head, drowning out Raestrao's command. The pain, the fear, it all blew away to the back of his mind and the incubus sagged in relief.

"Yeah. Nice ta see you, too." Sam admitted, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as Erik looked up at him, trying to catch his breath. "Mind giving us a ride?"

*

Uzaeris paced in Aomaris' room as his brother ate. Mika was deep asleep in the guest suite down the hall, tucked into bed, a small meal awaiting her if she woke up hungry. They both silently agreed to remain in their glamours, to use their human names while she was near. It was one thing that she called him by his name in her dreams, quite another for her to use it in the waking worlds.

A sharp ache hit behind his eyes and he pulled his thoughts from her, the pain piercing through the thin veneer of the dragon's command. It was weakening, it could not hold Raestrao's power off forever. Their time was limited.

Uzaeris studied his brother. Aomaris' wounds were poorly healed. The fact he was here at all was beyond amazing but he was obviously in pain, hunched, favoring one side. The servants were bringing a bath, but food seemed more important at the moment.

"I know what you're thinking," Sam commented around the food in his mouth. His fork never stopped shoveling, hunger driving him on.

"I can try to heal you." Erik pushed his own untouched plate across the table.

"Don't bother." Sam gave a sour look. "What little I remember, it was painful enough the first time. I don't need a second round. Besides, you look like you've got your own troubles. James?"

The older brother nodded and the brute's mouth thinned. Sam looked back down at his plate, disappointment and anger warring within him. _Everything’s so fucked up._ He felt weird, the weight of his head off-balanced on his neck. Even hidden within his glamour, he could still feel the loss of his horn. He refused to look at it, touch it.

"Sam, what happened to you?" Erik folded his arms. It was the same stance James often took but instead of reproach, Erik’s look was filled with concern and worry. Sam almost gave another snide comment but thought better of it. Erik had been through enough.

"I don't know. You'll have to ask him," he admitted.

"Him?"

 ** _"Me."_** The rumbling voice filled Uzaeris' head again. _The dragon._

"But before you do," Sam looked up at his brother, his face going grim, his voice serious. "There's something you should know."

"What?" Erik faltered, seeing the look in Sam's eyes. He slid into the chair across from him.

The brute reached into his pocket, pulling out a dirty handkerchief. He slammed it down on the table between them before leaning back. The pain caught him again, half-upright, his breath a sharp intake.

"What is it?" Erik looked from him down at the grimy bundle. Cautiously, he poked at it realizing something was in it. He carefully pulled the edges back, seeing the purple shadow beneath the thin fabric. Lifting the last fold away, he inhaled and pulled back, startled and confused. A simple purple colored pencil lay within, broken in two. Devoid of magic. He recognized it: the focus from the spell placed upon Mika so long ago, created by Ezaeur, broken by her to lock Mika’s magic away forever. It should have been long gone.

"Sam... How?" He looked back up to meet his brother’s intense eyes.

"I killed Andrew."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raise your hand if you just said "no way".  
> I know I did when I typed it.
> 
> Chapter Title Credit:  
> Lover. Fighter. - SVRCINA  
> https://youtu.be/yqitdEIoKkg


	22. And if I only could make a deal with God.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Running up that hill

Aomaris fought for breath as he lay on the table within the tent. The wounds from the battle with his father were too severe. His body was shutting down; his healing factor not strong enough to halt it, let alone reverse it. He had a vague sense of his brother Raestrao, heard garbled words.

“The pain will only get worse," the healer admitted, wearily returning to the tent only after the new Demon Lord had left. He looked down on Aomaris’ broken body, blessedly still unconscious. “The chest wound has healed, but nothing else. He will die and the dawn will take him.

"No one could heal this much damage, not even Lilith, herself." The old demon shook his head, clicking his tongue in pity. He gave a resigned sigh. "He was the best of them, compared to his brothers but brutes live and die bloody."

"We could remove the wings, try to lower the risk of infection..." The aide nervously offered from over the healer’s shoulder.

“It has already taken hold. To try and keep him alive now would only be a cruelty before the inevitable. Let him die with dignity.”

The assistant looked down at the demon's torn body. It was true. They’d managed to pull the horn out and close the stab wound, but so many broken bones, bloody gashes raked from neck to hip. The old Demon Lord's claws practically eviscerated the brute. That he was breathing at all was a mystery.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to the rebels’ Dragon Lord, hanging his head. They collected the rest of their instruments quietly and left.

Aomaris could feel himself fading. He struggled for one more breath but in the end, he let go. A weird rattle of air wheezed from his damaged lungs and he fell limp, the world fading away.

Minutes passed before his eyes snapped open, flaring with red light.

"Errrrrrah!" It was the growl of an ancient beast, a deep rumbling voice, nothing like Sam’s. He tried to move, tried to sit up. The muscles of this body were torn. He wasn't going anywhere. The pain of his crushed wings seared his back in a way he hadn’t felt in millennium.

"You. Owe. Me." He rasped the words out into the light of the guttering candle. His breath blew it out, smoke wafting. "I did as you asked."

A spark flared, bathing the tent’s interior in white light. His red eyes watered, his anger rumbling with another growl.

"Only in part,” The chiming voice of the Celestial answered, providing no relief. “We fulfilled our part of the agreement. You reside within the demon, you left your ancient vessel behind, and he was granted your power, but the Heir did not fall with the Lord. A Demon Lord yet remains."

"You agreed to the demon that if he took my powers, you would not touch his brethren!"

"And we have not. Raestrao has become... Surprising."

"You still owe me."

"It is not our fault the body has broken. Limbo is not terrible. You have sent your share there," the celestial pointed out and the dragon snarled again.

"It does not end like this, not for him. I do not end... Like.. This." He gasped each word out, mortality looming.

"All end, Oros."

"I do not. We killed the Demon Lord."

"You did not. Raestrao defeated his father."

"And why did he?" the dragon pressed.

"He did not wish Aomaris’ death."

"Then you owe him," Oros’ deep voice growled out into the tent. The entity was silent, the odd chiming that surrounded it ringing in the air. “Or would you risk a fall, Raziel?”

"Do not threaten me, Wyrm. You chose a fragile vessel."

"A breach of contract could do it. Remember Delial? Your methods of interference have been far from upright."

The angel was quiet.

"You owe this one."

"He is a demon. Spawn of the Demon Lord. Potential to be one, himself. His brother yet lives, already the next."

"He is not the same and this one is far from the tree that bore him. I would not have chosen him otherwise."

"You care not. You only want to remain living, yourself."

"The flow of time is ever a circle, Raziel. His services would be of use again."

"Here? There is too much potential for corruption."

"No, not here,” the dragon wheezed.

The angel was silent, the dragon turning its physical ear to them despite the agony. His strength was waning. His light going out along with the undeserving boy’s.

"You have your Word," the dragon whispered.

The angel remained silent.

"Would you break it? Their Word is your word," the dragon quoted with his last breath as it rattled from Aomaris’ broken body.

"So it is written, so it is told, so shall it be," the angel intoned.

Sam awoke with an enormous inhalation of breath in the blinding light, his lungs burning as he coughed. The tent spun around him.

"Wha-" He felt himself dropping, a brilliant white circle flaring beneath him, teleporting him away, plunging him into darkness.

With a heavy thud, Sam landed on asphalt. The smell of exhaust choked him. He blinked, trying to focus as a blurry pair of headlights approached, screeching to halt inches in front of him. Dimly, he heard shouting, sirens. Someone tried to shake him awake.

Then there was nothing at all.

*

Sam had impressions of light, of sound. Haunted with nightmares of running in the dark, the dragon’s voice rumbling, indiscernible. A flood of flame chased and caught him, searing his back, burning his muscles, scorching his spine. It was more painful than when his father ran him through, more painful than the relentless snaps he had been forced to endure.

The words "your wings" echoed eerily in his head with other phrases.  
"Infection"  
"Greatest apologies, lord."

At one point, Sam felt the blade sawing through them against his back. He screamed out into the dark where no one heard him.

 **“Demon?"** The dragon’s voice rumbled through Sam’s brain, waking him.

_I’m not dead._

"Oh, fuck me. What did you do to me?" Sam tried to open his eyes, but they weren’t responding. His body was curled into a ball. He didn't want to move.

**"Wake up. There is strong magic. Old magic. From your race."**

"Ergh. How long have I been asleep?" His head was groggy.

**"Not long, not even a nap. Only twenty of your years, or four here."**

"Twenty years?!" Sam’s eyes flew open.

**"You were beyond your healing. Sleep was a necessity."**

"We've been sleeping?" He was finding it hard to focus.

**"You have been sleeping. I have reacquainted myself with this world."**

"What world?" He blearily looked around, but the greenery told him nothing.

**"The world where we are."**

Sam checked his anger as the realization hit him. The dragon had never spoken to him from within his head before. He'd only thought he had acquired the dragon's power, not the dragon itself. Oros must have been a passenger within him all this time.

"We're not in the Abyssal Plains?" He tried to maintain his patience. There wasn't much he could do about it now, or to himself.

**"That isn't the only world where dragons walk, Demon, and I can walk again."**

Sam pushed himself up. They were in the woods, similar to the forest preserves outside of Chicago, but without the sound of traffic. The air was clear and fresh, comparatively. "Where are we?"

**"On an edge of humanity."**

Sam tried to straighten when his back suddenly screamed at him. He grit his teeth and quickly hunched back down. "What the fuck? What's wrong with me?"

**"The healers in this world did the best they could. Better than those of your world, who left us for dead."**

His muscles were spasming. He could feel the weakness in his limbs. He was out of shape, his range of motion severely crippled. "I can barely move!"

**"On the contrary, I have not felt this good in centuries. I miss my dragon form, but yours works well enough."**

"You took my body for a fucking joyride and let it fall to shit for the past twenty years?" He started walking, wanting to move and stretch.

**"Four years, Demon. You are in the Prime Plain now, with the humans."**

_Mika's world._ Sam paused. _Where Damien and Matthew are._

**"You have been napping; that is a good thing. Your spirit almost entered Limbo when your body died."**

_I Died?_ Sam refused to think about it, moving again. "Napping? A four fucking year nap?"

**"My apologies for making it so short, but I had to show this to you."**

"And what is that smell? Is that us?"

**"Calm yourself."**

"What did you do? I smell like a garbage dump and look and feel like it, too!"

**"We are more invisible to the humans like this than ever with your glamour. Dragons do not do illusions."**

"No? Well, you've got the hobo thing down."

**"Forget appearances. Do you feel it? The magic? I have been following it; I want you to tell me about it. It is from your line. Can you feel it guiding you, pulling you to her? Or does the brute drown it out?"**

"I don't have magic, only yours, remember?" Sam scowled, looking around in the mid-afternoon light, hearing sounds in the distance.

 **"Too bad,"** the dragon sniffed, making Sam squint an eye closed at the strange feeling in his head. **"No matter, it is a thing of beauty. I will show you. She is approaching us."**

 _She?_ Sam looked around. "You’ve been silent all this time. Why did you suddenly decide to do this now?"

**"Because it is no longer only I watching her."**

Sam felt himself stop at a tree. Only then did he notice a dark figure crouched in the brush ahead, poised, watching down the beaten path that separated them. A hooded jacket hid their features. Sam recognized the sound of horses, saw a couple of riders topping a rise in the distance, talking with each other.

 **"What is this? Another spell?"** Oros sounded amused. **"I see…Well done! Subtle. Like a needle through silk, it will leave the smallest hole from which all may unravel."**

"Yeah. Whatever." Sam studied the riders. _Is that Andrew Lewis?_

“Yes!” He heard Andrew happily call out. The human’s horse took off running towards them, the other rider pausing for a moment to watch and Sam finally saw her.

_Mika._

She was smiling, happy, and living her life with the man she’d chosen. _Her perfect life._ Sarcastic, he ridiculed it in his mind.

Motion in the corner of his eye caught his attention. Sam looked over to see the other watcher lift something in their hands.

"Wait a minute…" Alarmed, Sam ran for the other, using his demonic speed. He heard a loud snap, the sharp crack of a stick breaking buried under the thunder of hooves. Tackling them, Sam fell, the body of the watcher disappearing as Sam hit them. He felt no resistance as he dropped into the underbrush, a flash of purple beneath him before he hit the ground.

The alarmed neigh of a horse cut the air as it reacted from Sam running right past its nose.

"Whoa!" Andrew tried to grip the reins as his horse reared, hooves sliding in the dirt of the path as it tried to stop. Spooked, the horse's momentum had it twisting, throwing the man from its back.

Sam looked up just in time to see Andrew flying through the air, meeting his surprised eyes before the human struck the trunk of a tree. He heard another snap, his heart freezing, his brain in shock.

“Andrew!” Mika's shout echoed in the distance. Her horse galloped towards them.

Wrapping himself in a glamor of invisibility, Sam stayed low and still in the underbrush. He almost stabbed himself, his hand finding the sharp wood and pulling the broken pieces of a pencil out from underneath him.

 **"Elegant,"** the dragon spoke in his head as he stared at it.

"Shut the fuck up!" Sam hissed the words under his breath, turning back to see Mika drop down from her horse and run to Andrew. She was crying, sobbing, begging God for him to be alright. Her hand went to Andrew’s face only to jerk back. His eyes were blank, his body unmoving.

"No! No, you'll be okay. It'll be okay." Mika pulled her phone out, hands shaking so badly she dropped it and had to snatch it back up. "Andrew, hold on. Please hold on. Please. Everything will be okay."

Sam had seen enough death to know what it looked like. He could see Mika didn't believe her own words, either.

She couldn't remember the passcode to unlock her phone but had enough thought to hit the emergency dial. She frantically tried to explain where she was, what had happened, to the responder on the other end.

Sam turned away, clutching the pencil pieces in his fist, clenching his jaw. His heart lurched again, his anger twisting with guilt. _This is my fault. Andrew is dead because of me._

**"Demon, I can see the magic starting to unravel. The power will find its way back to whomever it belongs, now."**

"A man is dead, don’t you care?" Sam growled angrily as he continued to watch the tragedy play out at the scene of his crime.

**"I care. The magic was too dangerous, by far. It had to be stopped."**

"Shut the fuck up! This is my body. My life. I don't give a fuck about our deal or your powers or anything." Sam muttered fiercely. His own eyes were tearing, hearing Mika's sobs.

He'd killed before, but not like this. His inattention, his headstrong rush, had done this.

**"It cannot be undone Aomaris. Neither the death nor our bargain."**

"Just leave me alone."

**"I will. But I will be here when you need me."**

Sam ignored him. He stayed with Mika, watching over her as she waited the long minutes for the paramedics to arrive. She knelt by Andrew’s body, rocking and still praying, still begging. He stayed until she finally stood, until she walked away to follow the gurney with its zippered bag.

*

“I stayed away as long as I could.” Sam stared down at the empty plates. “It took awhile to get back to the mansion.” He didn’t elaborate on it. In the past days, it had become harder and harder to keep away while he’d been busy fighting himself.

“She called to you, too?” Erik quietly asked as he studied him. Sam was never one to reveal much. This was the most he’d ever learned or heard from his brother in a single sitting. Few knew just how similar the two of them were. While he hid his feelings behind the flirtatious incubus’ mask, Sam had chosen the rough brute’s.

“Yeah.” The gruff word had a depth of feeling behind it: sorrow, guilt, caring. “I saw the devils coming through the woods and made sure to get Mika out of there while James and the others handled them.” Sam flushed, curling his shaking hands into fists. He refused to admit he couldn’t have fought beside them. He’d barely managed to carry her and run.

Surprised, Erik saw the weakness, physical and mental, in his brother. “You did the best you could.”

“Fuck you,” the words were spat with vehemence. Sam pulled back when Erik reached for him, wouldn’t let him touch him, knew he would try to heal him.

"You cannot blame yourself." The incubus sighed and changed his movement instead, waving his hand over the handkerchief on the table. The broken focus was blank, no sign of Ezaeur’s magic or any others. It was just a pencil.

 _Demons, devils, and dragons. Ezaeur’s spell upon Mika had attracted the attention of others._ “Could this have been created by a witch? A warlock?” He asked out loud. The dragon kept its own counsel now, silent to the both of them.

But the one carrying the pencil… Erik had a sinking suspicion. There were others with reasons for wanting it broken. “The figure you saw, the other watcher, you didn’t see any discerning features?”

“No.”

“And they disappeared, almost like a shadow? Or like-”

“No.” Sam cut him off immediately, knowing what he was going to ask, denying it. “It wasn’t.”

“They disappeared, Sam. You know his power.”

“Yeah, I do, and I said it wasn’t him.”

“Do you know it wasn’t him or is it that you don’t want it to be him?” Erik pressed.

“Now you’re sounding like James.”

“Someone has to.” Erik’s voice cracked.

“I…I didn’t mean that.” Sam looked away as his brother’s brows rose in surprise.

“I did,” Erik admitted quietly.

“You’ve given up on him?” Sam asked the question casually, pushing his dishes away, yet both of them were hanging on the answer.

Erik closed his eyes and exhaled, rising to pace. Straightening his vest and cuffs, he saw an unexpected movement beyond the door. Without speaking, he threw it open, expecting Shadow or any other of the spies to be lurking beyond the crack.

Instead, Mika looked up at him. Her eyes had trouble focusing as she wavered on her feet, a flash of purple flickering across her irises.

_Is she trapped in another dream?_

"Princess?" The name escaped him and she turned and fled.

He heard Sam's despairing growl behind him. The brute rose and turned away to lean against the fireplace and stare into the flames. Erik took one glance back at him before making his choice. He hurried down the hall after her, the aching within him increasing with each step.

To his surprise, Mika wasn't going back to her room. Instead, she started running through the corridors. Erik ran after her, trying to keep her in sight. She looked back over her shoulder at him and he was startled to see the flare of purple light in her eyes.

"Mika, stop!" Erik ignored the pain, the shakiness. Raestrao’s command was growing stronger the further he got from the dragon.

She didn't look back again, twisting and turning through the halls until she burst into the library. The candlelight guttered with the rush of air she brought in with her, the fireplace the only other light as it flared and shot sparks. Unerring, she went to the rear door.

Erik caught up in time to see her press her palm against the lock, see her lips move silently.

"No!" There was no telling what the room's defenses would do.

To his utter shock, the door opened and Mika crossed inside, shoving it closed behind her. His foot caught it just before she could. Erik slid in, closing and locking it before turning to face her.

The room lit up, the protective wards glowing bright purple, the color of demon magic. Mika stood within the circle. Her hair floated about her, her arms spread, palms down as her power connected with the lines. The look she gave him now, it wasn’t hers. Her eyes glowed, almost staring through him.

Erik took a step forward, switching to his mage sight. He could only see Mika's magic, purple and white circling, her protections swirling with the circle and the wards themselves. She’d aligned to his room’s wards way faster than he had to her home’s.

"Princess or Queen, Uzaeris?" It was Mika's voice but overlapped with another. Her energy flared and purple lightning crackled around the room. The electricity in the air made his skin tingle, his hair rising.

"Ezaeur?!"

“Do you take or give?” Their voices echoed within him, resonating.

“What do you mean?” he stared as the shadow of the succubus appeared, overlapping Mika in his magesight. He could not see where Ezaeur ended and Mika began.

"You have a legacy to uphold, incubus. Do not forget it." Ezaeur’s reprimand hung in the air, lightning flaring once more before her image faded.

Mika stumbled, her eyes returning to normal, and dropped to her knees. The circle dimmed, freeing her as she fought for breath.

Erik quickly stepped over it to kneel down beside her. "Mika," The pain flared within him, almost crippling, and he forced it back.

She looked up at him, her eyes dilated once more, her body shaking. He could see the signs of withdrawal, feel the anxiety pouring off of her. "Are you one of them? The brothers? I've forgotten you, too."

Erik gave a sad smile before he dropped his head, the pain too strong to let him speak, his sorrow and joy making a knot in his throat.

"You're hurt.” Her voice was gentle. He felt her fingers brush his coppery-pink bangs back and rest at his temple. Warmth filled him and Erik gasped, looking up to be caught in her gaze, this time seeing the white magic swirling.

It was a sensation unlike any other. As if Raestrao's command, that foreign traitorous part of him, was severed with a snap. Feeling her pull it from him, Erik's hand closed over hers. He raised his other hand, brushing Mika's hair back and resting his palm against her cheek, feeling her other hand cover his. His own healing magic triggered, removing the residual poison of the drug in her system; healing the withdrawal, the drug-induced anxiety, stress, and depression.

They blinked as the glow faded from them, as they faced each other in awe. Mika took a deep breath, the first one in two weeks that wasn't smothered in anxiety or sorrow or loss. The lack of Raestrao's curse left Erik suddenly free, relieved. The pain was gone, the weakness gone, the fear gone. He was touching Mika, on his knees in front of her, and his mind was quiet.

They stared at each other as if looking in a mirror.

"Your name is Uzaeris," Mika spoke it in wonder and Erik shuddered, not at all from pain.

"Yes." He barely dared to breathe, scared the moment would shatter. His hand tightened atop hers, giving a small squeeze.

"What did I just do, Uzaeris?" She tried saying his name again, the syllables becoming more familiar. He could hear her say his name a thousand times and be nothing but happy.

“You healed me and I healed you," he quietly explained.

"With magic?" she asked, unsure.

"With magic." His eyes softened as his smile went wide. "You have healing magic." He could feel it within her, stronger than any he'd ever known.

"No wonder I graduated top of my class," she wondered aloud to herself, pulling back from him. It was such a relief how clear her head felt now.

Dropping his hands, Erik had to chuckle. "Yes. Yes, Princess."

Mika gave him a disconcerted look. "I'm not a 'Princess'. You make me sound like some spoiled damsel in distress in a fairytale."

"Well, you have been in distress." Erik gave a wry smile. "But it's a name I gave you long ago. One you've obviously outgrown."

"Oh." Mika flushed, feeling rude. It was overwhelming as his amethyst eyes took in every detail of her. "You can call me Princess if you want to."

"And you can call me Erik. It's a little easier for me."

"Erik." She nodded. His smile widened, reminding her of Damien. Memories of him hurt at James’ feet came to mind and the worry returned.

"What is it?" He noticed her concern.

"Nothing, I'm alright." Mika shook her head. Sam said Damien would be okay and she didn't need to make Erik worry about his brother. "Just, don't let Sam call me Princess, okay? I don't think he'll say it as nicely as you."

Erik laughed, delighted. "Sam's not as affectionate as I am," he admitted.

Mika fought her blush at the flirt. "Uzaeris is your demon name, isn't it?"

"Yes. It is very personal to use a demon's name.” His voice turned serious.

“I’m sorr-”

“Don’t be.” Erik stood and offered her a hand up. “The Demon World is not a friendly place for humans. If you’re ever in trouble or need help, call my real name and it will summon me to your side."

"I did,” Mika admitted, “Sam told me to call you. It’s what brought us here."

Erik faltered. “You called me and came here?” He couldn't hear her from the human world. He didn't open a gate. 

Mika nodded. “Everything’s been so strange, since…” she wouldn’t say it. She couldn’t even begin to describe how she felt about it now. “He said he was taking me to someone who could help me. He meant you, didn’t he?”

“I…” Erik looked down into her lost eyes.

 **I'm gonna love watching you ruin her.** Malix’s taunting voice echoed in Erik’s mind.

 **You will not prey on Mika again.**  Raestrao’s command still had power, in a different way, as a reminder. **You know it’s for the best.**

“Your magic is awakening. You need training, need to learn how to shield. I can help you with that,” he admitted.

_Only that._

“Do…do I have to have magic?” Mika inquired, considering what he said, what she’d just experienced. If all of this was happening because of magic; could she turn it off, stop it, go back to before?

Erik froze. “You don’t want it?” he asked quietly. _You don’t want us?_

“I don’t know,” Mika answered honestly.

She noticed how his eyes wavered, how he backed away from her, though Erik stayed exactly where he was. It was as if a mask came down to cover his expression, making it indifferent, a polite smile answering her.

“I can take it away if you don’t want it.”

“Erik…” Something didn’t feel right. She shouldn’t have asked; she wanted to take it back. “I didn’t mean-”

“You’re tired, Princess. I should get you back to your room.” He turned away, opening the door for her.

“I didn’t mean to-” she tried again as she stepped through, looking back at him.

“You shouldn’t wander the halls without one of us.” He commented, offering her his arm and guiding her on when she took it. “It isn’t safe." He kept talking, keeping her from saying a word as they walked, telling her about random things, paintings, decor, anything and everything they passed.

“I said something wrong.” Mika dug her heels into the rich red carpet beneath their feet, making him stop, too. “Don’t brush me off!”

“Not at all. Ring the bell tomorrow when you would like some breakfast. We can discuss more in the morning, my sweet.” The fake endearment slipped out and Erik cringed on the inside even as he saw her anger spark, but he couldn't stop. "That is, unless you desire a bedfellow?"

"A what?" Mika looked up at him in shocked disbelief.

“There are many pleasures to this castle, I think you'll find your bed can be one of them.” He saw her flinch at the innuendo, could see her pulling away as she swiftly removed her hand from his arm. _What are you doing?_ Part of him screamed, but habit took over to protect that which hurt the most.

“A lovely lady such as yourself deserves a good treatment. You have only to ask.”

“No.” Mika shook her head, stepping further away. She recognized they’d made it to her rooms. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Like what?” Erik raised a brow in inquiry, one hand pushing her door open as he gave a slight bow.

“You’ve changed.” Mika wouldn’t let it go. “This isn’t you.”

“How would you know?” The flirtatious mask slipped to show a sharp edge. “How would you know this isn’t me? We’ve only just met, Princess. Right? Though I can prove my sincerity and skills to you behind this closed door. All you have to do is ask for it.”

Mika’s heart was pounding, Erik’s ridicule making her feel cheap. Thoughts of how Andrew had used her rose with a lump in her throat, her cheeks burning in shame. “Why are you doing this?”

Erik considered her, very deliberately looking her up and down. His amethyst eyes met hers. "Who could resist you, beautiful?"

He quickly turned away. "Have a good night," he crooned over his shoulder. He left her standing in her doorway, staring after him in bewilderment as he strode away.

Before she could see his composure slip into despair.

*

_**Not one thought.** _

James stood at his bedroom window, arms folded across his chest, staring at the empty house across the street. He hadn’t slept last night, wanting to be ready if Zecaeru called him. Night became morning and there was still no sign of their brother. He looked exhausted, still bearing the bruises of Damien’s anger, his mouth a thin line. Inside, James’ thoughts were turbulent.

 _Zecaeru was with her._ Mika's texts had mentioned Andrew, mentioned a friend helping her. _Did Matthew take advantage of her? Did he use the situation to seduce her?_

 _No, that was you._ His own voice finally broke through in his head. Mika had chosen to be with Matthew while declining his offer. _You would have taken advantage of her. You would have seduced her._

He had been planning it, after all. _You would have overwhelmed her with your enthrallment once more. You would have given her the barest choice, that of crossing your threshold, before considering her yours._ The two red roses were still on the kitchen table downstairs. _You would have bathed her body in petals before carrying her up here to make her forget everything, everything but you. You would have filled her eyes with gold and her body with yours._

**_You have become Him._ **

James wanted to say he was only protecting her, giving her pleasure; that he was letting her choose, that he only did what she wanted. But where Mika was concerned, what he had done, _It was wrong._

 _You are doing to her what you imagined Uzaeris doing to Ezaeur. Your “wife” whom you felt honor-bound to pretend you loved._ It was pride, embarrassment at his own failure, frustration at the lack of their relationship, coming back to haunt him. _You couldn’t risk it from Mika._

_How much of your life has been such posturing? How much have you done because you "had" to?_

It felt like all of it. _From the moment you left this world._ Since the moment he decided to return to the Abyssal Plains. Every decision was for appearance, propriety, following the form, following expectations, following the needs of his role as Heir and as Lord.

 _Not as Brother. Not as Husband. Not as Friend or Lover. Uzaeris was right._ He didn't feel like himself. Not until he was back here, not until those quiet moments in this house and the garden and with that girl from across the street.

 _You have been making decisions, but you haven't been making choices. You haven't faced any of the real choices in your life and truly chosen. Except too late._ James reached up to his brow, pulling the gold band from his head, revealing it from beneath his glamour. The crown appeared to hang loosely in his fingers.

 _Mika wouldn't choose me. She would never choose me if she knew._ And yet, he would have to tell her. He had to tell her what he did to her that first night.

_It was a moment of weakness._

_No. It was a moment of arrogance. You could have had Uzaeris remove the sleep spell. You could have spoken with her, honestly, from the very beginning._ He had before, the first time they had met.

 _No excuses. Not anymore._ James' fingers tightened on the circlet, his knuckles going white.

He was a predator and he had taken Mika as his prey. As if it was his right to do so. Even if there was an amount of wanting to help, wanting to keep her safe, it was a thin veneer on a very ugly truth. He saw her, he had wanted her, desired her as she lay there, helpless, innocent and yet not. He wanted to pleasure her and he wanted to pleasure himself.

 _I raped her. I took her when she had no choice._ If he had asked her first, explained to her, she wouldn't have wanted it. He knew she would have said no; it was why he did not ask in the first place. Why he left her as she was, defenseless in Uzaeris’ spell.

 _The feelings she had, the enjoyment, it wasn't yours. It was Andrew's_. It was vile how he had pretended. How he deluded himself. Where was his honor then?

 _You have none. You have none and you do not deserve any quarter._  
  
His second seduction of her, he was himself. He told himself he was "testing the waters" but really, he had wanted her again. Wanted to prove she would want him, to show her how he could please her. He removed the physical signs of his act upon her, made it a dream he could have her recall whenever he wanted. It was still a deception.

James knew he would do it to her again in a heartbeat. His hunger rose even as he stood there, so strong, his body responding even to the memory of her. He grit his teeth.

_I want to protect her? I need to protect her from myself._

Raestrao looked back out the window and finally understood just how low he had fallen, remorse weighing heavy. He looked back down at his crown and opened his fingers, letting it drop to the floor.

He fought to maintain his composure, to quench the gold behind closed eyes. _You have to tell her._ Once they found her, once he was sure she was safe, he would tell her. He would ask her forgiveness, beg for it, go down on his knees before her.

_She will despise you._

He knew it. He could not blame her for it. He would feel the same if he were in her place.

"She will hate you," Damien insisted as he stepped up beside him, gazing outside as James turned to him, startled.

"You have done nothing but manipulate her. And even if she forgives you out of the kindness of her heart, I never will." Damien disappeared in a flash of purple flame, the ash from the clone wisping away out the window.

James quickly looked back over his shoulder at the body lying prone atop his bed. Damien's eyes bore into his, furious as he listened to James' thoughts, trapped in his paralysis.

James couldn't heal him. The bullet was too deep; he couldn’t remove it to allow his brother’s spine to heal. _At least this way he is numb._ Damien had screamed and passed out from the pain when James last tried. He wouldn't risk it again, certain it would only make it worse. They needed to find an alternative once Matthew returned.

Damien glared silently at him.

James considered leaving. It was difficult to bear being under that stare but thought better of it. He would not leave the house and Damien could hear him anywhere within. His youngest brother could hear him anywhere in the castle or on its grounds when they were younger.

_When we were friends._

It hurt. It hurt as bad as Erik’s betrayal.

“Only I didn’t betray you.” Damien’s voice cut harshly into his thoughts once more. “You betrayed me.”

James’ anger flared and he turned away, as foolish as it was. He couldn’t hide anything. Not now, not ever.

He knew if he ever blocked Damien, the last of him would truly die.

“Why did you do it?” he heard his brother ask.

James closed his eyes, his pride stinging as much as his heart.

 **I’ve made mistakes. No one knows better than I.** He’d told it to Erik and it was true. He’d made his share of mistakes.

James cleared his throat and made himself stand tall, back to his accuser. “Do what?” he asked in return as thoughts of Mika, Erik, Matthew, and Damien passed through his mind. Thoughts of Sam he held deep within, not enough tears shed, still not able to come to terms with it. “Why did I do what?” he repeated, his voice rough.

The room was silent. A dog barked outside, the curtains ruffling in the breeze around him. James’ back was straight and proud as he waited, as minutes passed by.

“Why did I do what?” He finally asked again, his head tilting to try and hear his brother’s reply, to show he was listening.

Still no answer.

Never had James felt like this. Never, even in his father’s greatest disapproval, even in the face of Sam’s death, did he feel like this. He had strode through the Demon World naked all of his life, prominently at the front of everything he had ever done or attempted to achieve. He had faced judgment over and over and over and none of it came close to his own.

 _My own._ The judgment that he had stopped listening to when he returned as Heir once more. _To do what must be done._ But the excuse didn’t fit anymore. It felt thin and weak and pathetic. His judgment reared once more and yet it paled in comparison to Izroul’s.

Izroul, who knew his every thought, his motives, knew him as no other could or ever would. Izroul, who had always looked proudly up at him. Whose approval…

James finally understood a word he had read a hundred thousand times. A word that he had applied to everyone, everyone he’d ever known outside of himself.

Vulnerable.

Izroul’s approval had always been there and without it…without it, he felt like less than nothing.

 _There is no one left._ James dropped his head.

“Why did I do what?” he asked one last time.

Silence.

James crumbled within himself, his head dropping into his hand, his fingers catching his tears. His shoulders hunched, his sobs were as silent as the room as he leaned forward, his other palm flat against the cold glass of the window. Fighting it, he made himself swallow them, made himself twist back around to face those accusing, hate-filled indigo eyes.

Only they weren’t.

Damien was looking at him with such sorrow the last of the walls within James cracked.

“Why did you do it all?” his youngest brother asked quietly. “Tell me.”

James dropped down to sit on the edge of the bed, hanging his head. He let the words out, facing each as he spoke them, as he had in the past with Erik before they ever left the Demon World. Before he’d become what he was now.

He told Damien everything.

And finally admitted it all to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit  
> Running up that hill - Placebo  
> https://youtu.be/d-mYX0qKkB8


	23. Another day and you've had your fill of sinking.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika takes the initiative.

**She doesn't want us.**

_No. She doesn't want magic and she doesn't want you._ Erik clenched his fists staring at the carpet as he walked. _And you had to push her even further away._

Zecaeru's signature was now branded upon Mika’s body, stronger than Raestrao’s. It was the last thing Erik had expected to find when he helped Sam lay her on the bed in her room. He could smell his younger brother on her, saw how low her energy had been drained. She had been with Matthew, intimately. Sam had to have noticed and didn't say a word about it.

Erik’s incubus side flared with hunger. His jealousy demanded he erase it and take her but he pushed the beast away once more, hating himself.

Matthew, James, and Damien were fighting the devils while Sam brought Mika to him. His brother hadn't been to the mansion the entire time Erik watched over her. He hadn't had the impression she was that close to Matthew. Mika wasn't one to lose her heart so swiftly after Andrew but she wasn’t showing any signs of coercion, either.

 _Zacaeru isn't Raestrao._ At least, he hoped Matthew wasn't.

Erik returned to find Sam slouched in a chair before the fireplace. The dishes from their meal were cleared away and the brute had bathed and found a bottle from somewhere.

"Sam?" Erik entered cautiously, seeing the thin line of his mouth. "She's alright."

His brother shook his head, his eyes looking away before taking a sip. "No, she isn't." Sam ran a hand through his damp hair, leaving it spiked up in all directions.

"I don't think she heard."

"Great. Then I still have to tell her." The brute leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, rolling the bottle between his palms.

"Not yet." Erik dropped down on a bench beside him, propping his feet up against the armrest and staring at the flames as well. “You still don't know what really happened.”

"I know what happened to Andrew." Sam took a swig and looked over at the incubus, passing the bottle. Erik hesitated at the smell of the hard liquor but took a swig himself, his brother giving him a half-smile as he coughed and handed the bottle back.

"We need to know," Erik wheezed, blinking tears out of his eyes. Whiskey wasn't his first or even tenth choice for getting drunk and this bottle was rough, servant grade if he was any judge of it.

"Do any of us ever know what's really happening?" Sam sighed and drank again. The alcohol was curbing the pain in his back well enough. "She's getting her magic back, but it’s been strange."

"She was drugged," Erik admitted, seeing Sam's eyes flare with anger as his head whipped back to him.

“Drugged? By who?” Sam tried to get up, appalled, but Erik put an arm out to stop him.

"I’m not sure. Maybe your watcher? I've removed it from her system and healed the addiction but even taking that into account, what’s happening isn't normal." 

"What do you think it is?"

**Do you take or give? Remember your legacy.**

_Ezaeur. No. No way._

“I don’t know.” He wouldn’t consider it. He wanted to teach Mika magic, to become her friend, to have her in his life for real. He wanted to go back to before, to the human world and do it all over again, to erase the past three decades as if they'd never happened.

Part of his wish had already come true.

"Aomaris?"

"Hmmm?" Sam looked back at him to see the emotion flooding his brother's eyes.

"I'm very glad you're back."

"Yeah. I love you, too, pretty boy." Sam's voice was condescending but his eyes softened as he toasted Erik and leaned back again.

"Still the same," the incubus mused, shaking his head.

"We all are if you look close enough," Sam admitted, passing the bottle again. "So. You gonna teach her?"

Erik took a healthy swallow before answering. "It depends on if she wants to learn." His voice went quiet, his gaze back on the fireplace.

Sam studied him, his frown coming back, his look turning hard. "What'd Mika say to you?"

"Nothing," The incubus shrugged, keeping his eyes glued to the flames.

"You're not flinching at her name anymore."

 _He would notice it._ "She healed me," Erik admitted. _The power needed to remove Raestrao's command…Harold was strong but for a human to be that strong?_ She had plucked it out as if it were a splinter.

"Then she's learning it. Good."

Erik cast him a sidelong glance, seeing the brute exhale in relief. _Don't tell him_.

"So, what have I missed?" Sam changed the subject, to his brother’s relief.

"Quite a bit." This time Erik reached for the bottle.

*

Mika pulled her hair back as she checked herself in the mirror. Opting for one of the small hair ornaments laid out on the vanity in her room, she clipped it in place. It was a gold barrette, intricately etched with whorls and small emeralds. She thought it was beautiful and wanted to feel at least a little pretty today.

 _You’re only borrowing it,_ like the clothes she now wore. The wardrobe in her room had surprised her. Jeans and shirts, vests much like her own at home. There were skirts and dresses and a whole array of shoes as well.

 _Who are you kidding? It's an entire store, all your size._ It almost felt creepy until she reminded herself that magic existed here.

_With magic, all bets are off._

Mika had to admit some of the dresses were beautiful. Ranging from cute and comfortable day dresses to elegant evening gowns. She couldn't imagine when she'd wear most of them. She just wasn't the type. She chose jeans and a blouse again, a dark gray cardigan sweater to keep herself warm as the plaster and stone walls radiated cold around her. It was late summer here, she’d noticed some of the leaves starting to change in the garden beyond her balcony.

 _Besides, who knows what this day will bring? Yesterday you ended up hiking through a forest._ In fact, she never would have predicted all that happened to her yesterday.

A terrible anxiety attack, the strongest she'd ever had. She recognized now that her mind and body had betrayed her, destroying what she and Damien had tried to build. She still couldn't believe she ran out on him like that. Her heart hurt from the guilt and loss.

 _He wanted to talk to you; he texted you._ Her phone was dead now, the battery run out. She couldn't even look at his message. _He was with James. Why was he outside with James last night?_

 **My brothers and I,** Sam had said. _Was Damien visiting him? Had James told him where she lived?_

And she had been with Matthew.

 _They're all brothers._ Mika felt more than a little awkward about it. She hadn't known; none of them had told her. Nothing about them would have led her to believe it. Only now, looking back, did she see some of the similarities. They had all befriended her, flirting with her, courting her. She'd slept with one of them, almost two, and dreamed of the third.

 _What is wrong with you???_ It wasn't like her, it wasn't like her at all, and yet she couldn't say she didn't like being with them. True, she'd been a mess lately; she couldn't even think about Andrew right now and refused to. _Andrew is gone; you’re on your own._

Yet each brother was so different! Being with them, all except Sam, and even at the beginning with Erik had felt right at the time.

She recalled James, not as himself, but as the Demon Lord she'd seen. _No, that is himself._ He was impressive, to say the least. She would never have suspected it of the self-contained businessman who calmed her in her driveway, who bought her breakfast, who had taken care of her every chance he could.

Seeing him fight, the blood didn't phase her. She saw plenty of it in her line of work. Truthfully, she was glad he killed those devils. When a dog was rabid, you put it down before it could hurt anyone. The devils were evil; they wouldn't have had any mercy for her.

O _nce again, James saved me._

His regal carriage, his tall broad stance, the horns curling up from his head, she wasn't afraid of him. Those stripes wrapping around his body highlighted his muscles like tribal tattoos. They were alluring and felt as dangerous as the camouflage of a tiger. _His body..._ Her strange dream came back to her vividly: James pulling her down on top of him on the floor, rolling over onto her and rubbing against her, his mouth on her skin, her core, his tongue coaxing her to release.

Mika flushed with a groan. It felt so real and yet she'd never even kissed him. _What on Earth are you thinking?_

 _Perhaps one day the roses will be red._ He was interested in her and she had admitted to him the thought was attractive. Mika wanted to understand him, she was drawn to him. He was trying to help her, fighting to protect her.

_And he isn't perfect, he’s a demon. That's a pretty big ‘not perfect’ attribute._

But they all were demons. _They're brothers._ And she had slept with Matthew.

**Matthew.**

She'd enjoyed sex with Andrew, they were hardly shy once their relationship turned physical, but Matthew? Matthew had been incredible.

 _It's not just about that,_ she lectured her raging hormones. But Mika's blush deepened, her body finding no relief from its tension as she thought of him, next. She considered him a friend; he had helped her, too, for far longer. She suspected a good portion of Andrew's success at the Company was because of the handsome blue-eyed executive.

James may have seemed overwhelmingly perfect but Matthew was comfortable, capable, and yet utterly mind-blowing. _What we did..._ She flushed again. She'd been shameless and so had he. It was exactly what she needed and considering his attention to her, she had the distinct impression he needed and enjoyed it just as much.

 _He wanted me,_ and to be honest with herself, _I wanted him._ But she didn't know if there was any more to it. She didn’t know what Matthew was, either.

 _A demon. Does he have stripes as well? Does he have horns? You're only thinking of the outside,_ she chided. What she needed to know was if it made him different on the inside.

**You won’t mess this up. I won’t let that happen.**

_Too late._

_What is "this", even? What will it be like the next time I see him? What is he expecting?_ For that matter, what was she?

 _I need to know more about him._ He had reminded her of Andrew, the two were so similar in personalities and they had worked closely together. _What does he think of what we've done? What do I think?_

 _Who are you kidding? You're not that world-wise. There's only ever been Andrew before him and you waited a while in the beginning._ Mika flinched. She'd waited but her fiance hadn't been faithful to her. _Were there more girls? More than Naomi and Suzu?_ She didn't want to know.

Had Matthew known Andrew was cheating on her?

 _Sex doesn't mean a relationship. Especially when it's as spontaneous as yesterday._ She wasn't one to sleep around, but she wasn't shy about sex, either. It was only natural.

_I'm not going to fall in love just because we did what we did. Sex is a bonus, the frosting on the cake. It doesn't give you the relationship you need for a lifetime. Friendship, trust, respect, and companionship does that._

Mika was fairly certain Matthew didn't consider them more than friends. That made thinking about him dangerous. She remembered Andrew telling her a few stories about the single executive and not just him being a food snob. _Matthew has the reputation of being a playboy, too._

_Just take it as the gift it was and don't hand him your heart. You don't know him. It might just be sex, some people are like that._

_But maybe one day, could it be more?_ A small voice in her head asked.

 _Maybe. Just try to take care of yourself for now._ She'd been honest with James and she would be with Matthew, too. No use complicating things by imagining a relationship that might not even exist.

 **There’s a lot you’ve forgotten.** Mika remembered what Sam had said.

Sam was an enigma but she didn't think he was a liar. He was frustrated and frustrating but there was no doubt he saved her life. If he hadn't grabbed her, Malix would have.

 _Izroul is Damien's real name, his demon name._ She knew it. _He must have told you. You knew them before and something happened. But what?_

**It's very personal to use a demon's real name.**

_What exactly happened between us?_ Between her and all of the brothers? Sam and Erik were acting like they knew her while Matthew, James, and Damien hadn't. _Why?_

Mika didn't know how she felt about any of it, anymore. Try as she might, she couldn't remember them. She didn't know Damien before seeing him outside of his bookstore. She had felt a connection but it was all so confusing.

 _You treated him so badly and now he's hurt._ And she was sure it was all because of her. The devils had been there for her. _What if Damien dies because of you?_

_You can't hold yourself responsible. You have no idea what's going on._

**He's stronger than he looks.** She had to take Sam's word for it. She couldn't do anything about it now.

 _You’re in a different world, a different place with people you don't know._ Mika realized she was at their mercy. Right now, she had about as much control over her life as a leaf in the wind. And that was the crux of the matter.

_You've just been floating along ever since Andrew died, just reacting. You were floating on before that, even. Other than school, other than your career, Andrew handled everything else for you._

**You aren't alone.** Chivalrously, James had stepped up to help her.

 **I'll make you happy.** Matthew had, too.

_You can’t depend on them, can you?_

_No, that's the wrong way of thinking. You **shouldn't** depend on them. At some time you may choose to but right now, you have to figure this out on your own._ It was daunting but just like every problem, every hurdle, she would take it one step at a time.

_And your first step is breakfast._

_Erik said we'll talk more._ Mika was determined to find out as much as she could from him. Reaching for the bell, she rang it loudly before her nerves could stop her.

 _I know I was dreaming again last night, sleepwalking._ She had a dim recollection of wandering the halls before coming to that door, of running before finding herself kneeling with Erik. She still was embarrassed by it, still felt degraded by his flirtation.

 _Just don't play into it. Who knows what his problem is. If he wants to be a creep, that's his choice. You can just shut him down, or come back here, or go to Sam._ Somehow she felt he would keep Erik in line if she needed it. At least she hoped so.

 _Erik's behavior changed so drastically last night_. It made her pause. _It was when I asked if I had to have magic. Why would my having magic matter to him?_ If anything it would be easier for him; he wouldn't have to teach her.

But when she healed him, when he healed her, she had to admit it was amazing. Somehow, she had known exactly what to do, had seen that crackling pain within him and had captured and removed it. It had hurt a little but then he had healed her, clearing her mind, restoring her body.

_You could do that for others._

Erik had been as full of wonder as she when he saw it. _I wasn't imagining it. He was a different person: kind, gentle, and endearing. He knew me._ And she didn't know him.

**You have healing magic.**

_And you asked to remove that ability._ Mika suddenly felt terribly selfish. She could help people, had helped him, and then asked if he could take it away. He must think I'm awful, no wonder he changed.

 **If you can help someone, you should.** It was something her Grandfather had told her, long ago. _It's our responsibility to help each other._ It was why he created the Foundation in the first place.

There was a knock on the door, startling her, and Mika quickly pulled herself from her thoughts to open it.

She was expecting Erik. Instead, a tall thin man stood outside. His sash was billowing around him along with his long black hair, swirling in the hallway where there was no wind, barely a breeze as she opened the door. It was unsettling, to say the least.

 _Magic, Mika. This is a different world,_ she reminded herself.

"My lady," he intoned, bowing low. "You rang?"

"I..." Mika lost her voice. His eyes were black, raking over her intently, emotionless. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Yes. Erik said I should ring when I wanted to go to breakfast."

"Erik?" He raised a brow in inquiry. "Oh, you mean my lord?"

"Your lord?"

"Erik," he said the name crisply, amused by her reaction to him, "Is the lord of the Lands of Lilith and this castle."

"Oh." _The Lands of Lilith?_ Mika looked away, feeling unnerved by his sharp smile.

“I am Shadow, one of the lord’s faithful retainers.” Mika jumped as she felt his long hair brush her neck, chills running down her arms. She risked a glance up, taking a quick intake of breath as she heard his deep chuckle. His eyes were wide, hungry, solid black as he considered her. She involuntarily took a step back from him. His hair was almost reaching for her.

“Relax, my lady.”

 **These halls aren't safe.** Mika remembered Erik’s warning but she'd rang the bell like he said!

"If I may inquire, why are you here, human?" The assassin stepped into the room, boldly circling her. Mika turned to face him, not wanting the demon at her back, chills running up her spine. "Explain yourself."

"I was brought here." Mika inched away again. She didn't want to give him any details, not that she knew many, anyway.

"By whom? For what purpose?" The room seemed to darken around them, Mika’s heart starting to pound.

"You'll have to ask Erik."

"Do I frighten you?" Shadow’s teeth flashed white. Only then did Mika notice the shadowy claws, slowly reaching for her from within his hair as he stepped forward, looming over her. She felt a tug within her, a draining feeling that terrified her.

"No," it was a breathless response but something told her not to admit the truth. Many animals, many predators, didn't recognize prey. _Until it runs._

"Do you want me to scare you?" He leaned closer and Mika quickly stepped back again, she couldn't help herself. His eyes focused on her, his hand reaching for her.

"I would like to see Erik. He's expecting me for breakfast." Mika tried to stand her ground, forcing herself to look up into the demon's blank eyes boldly.

"So, you are here to feed him." Shadow’s amusement increased, his look feral though he paused before touching her.

"He wishes to speak with me. Will you take me to him, please?" Mika stood straight, keeping her eyes locked with him. She felt his hair brush her throat again, the locks like ice cold silk sliding across her skin, almost like the kiss of a blade.

 _No fear. No fear._ It was a mantra in her mind. She’d dealt with more than one predator in her life. She had to keep her wits and ignore her own instincts. Shadow was playing with her and she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

Finally, he broke their gaze, turning away as if he’d never had any interest in her at all.

"Of course, my lady. I would be happy to take you to him." He stepped back and opened the door, gesturing for her to walk before him.

"After you," she insisted, forcing him to lead the way. She wouldn’t trust him at her back.

*

"Sam, at least let me try." Erik frowned at his brother as they sat in the dining room. "You need healing."

"I've had healing; it's why I'm still standing," the brute growled. He was clean and felt a little better after sleeping in a bed, but still looked like Hell.

"You're barely standing. You need-"

"Don't even go there!" Sam snarled. He shoved himself back from the table, not even finishing his breakfast before storming out. He passed Shadow and Mika in the doorway as they were entering. Sam's eyes met hers, his look darkening further before he turned away in disgust and continued on.

"Sam?" Mika called after him but he ignored her. "Is he alright?" She turned back to find Erik staring at her and her escort. He didn't look happy, either.

"That's just Sam being Sam." Erik waved it off, a thin smile appearing on his lips that didn't reach his eyes. Mika didn't believe a word of it but kept her silence as he continued. "Shadow, I specifically instructed that I was to be notified when our guest rang."

"This was more expeditious, my lord." The adviser bowed low with a flourish. “The lady gave me the impression you wished to dine here.”

Erik flushed, seeing Mika looking between the two of them. "I wish for you to follow my commands.” He grit his teeth, magenta flashing in his eyes before he could help it. “Now leave us."

"Of course. My apologies, my lord." Shadow's lips curled, stepping back as Erik rose from the table. He quickly left the two of them, more amused than anything.

"I trust you slept well?" Erik asked, nonchalant as he turned back to Mika. He approached her, tugging his vest to straighten it before offering his arm as escort to her seat.

"Yes." She had when she'd finally been able to sleep, only to wake and return to the myriad of thoughts that plagued her now. But she wouldn't admit them to Erik as she walked with him.

Instead, she looked around at the decadence surrounding them. Her room had been impressive, but this… The table was large and long, stretching away from them to easily seat a hundred guests beneath sparkling chandeliers. Windows ran from floor to ceiling, lighting the room with the bright morning sunshine, framed with luxurious velvet curtains. Through them, she could see the large flower garden in the courtyard beyond, only now from the ground level.

"Please sit, my dear." Erik pulled Mika's chair out for her, gesturing for a servant to bring her a heavily laden, steaming plate. Another brought a delicate teacup, pouring a rich dark tea for her. They were demons, cat ears and tails visible with their maid costumes, a male butler standing at the servants' door to watch over them.

"I'm sorry we don't have coffee here; I hope you still enjoy tea," Erik spoke quietly in her ear as he stood behind her.

_Still?_

“You like this one?” His fingertips brushed the barrette in her hair proudly as he stepped away to return to his own seat at the end of the table beside her. He’d designed the clip himself, specifically with her long ebony locks in mind.

"I do." Mika felt her stomach twist, confused by the mix of his earnestness along with the flirtations. She forced herself to remain focused, to continue as she met his eyes. "I want to thank you, Erik. Thank you for letting us stay here and for healing me last night."

He faltered at her sincerity, surprised. She could see it before he recovered his smile once more, his mouth opening to speak.

"And thank you," she quickly interrupted him, "For offering to teach me magic. I'll try to be a good student." It caught him up short as he realized what she was saying.

"Really?" Erik stared openly, dropping all of his affectations. "You want to keep your magic? You’ll stay here and let me teach you?"

“If you’ll still let me,” Mika nodded with a small smile. _One choice at a time. I need to rebuild my life, and this is the first step._

"I... Of course. We can start after breakfast if you'd like." He quickly sat up, a small giddy laugh escaping him. “There’s so much to consider.”

Mika noticed the flowery flirts and sly tone of his voice were gone. He looked unsettled, but pleasantly so. A sincere smile lit his face as he dropped away into his own thoughts beside her, mumbling to himself.

 _It was the magic that upset him,_ she thought, picking up her napkin and turning to her breakfast. There was no way she'd eat all of the food but the tea beckoned her, a nice dark blend with the scent of bergamot.

Sipping it, she considered him again, sobering. "Erik, what happened to me?" she asked quietly, half to herself.

"Hmmm?" Distracted, he looked back up at her. He was mentally listing the books he wanted to show her, the spell to help her read them, trying to decide what to teach her first.

Mika almost asked again but he looked so happy. She didn't want to break his mood or the tentative friendship that she wanted to start building. "The tea is very good," she offered instead.

"Yes, it's one of my favorites," he answered warmly, his eyes softening as he considered her. "I used to drink it all the time wi-” he broke off, clearing his throat. “I enjoy it very much," he quickly corrected before gesturing to her plate. “Please, eat. We’ll have much to do today.” He turned away from her again, retreating back into his thoughts.

 _You used to drink it all the time? With who?_ Mika wondered as she reached for her fork, realizing she really was starving.

She cleared her plate so quickly, Sam would have been impressed.

*

Mika wasn't sure what she had been expecting of her magical training, but it definitely wasn't this. Her eyes stung from trying to hold onto her 'mage sight', her stomach was turning at the stale air of the closed room, the musty scent of the books becoming too overpowering as her head throbbed. She stood in the middle of a chalk circle, one she had drawn herself hours ago. It was cringe-worthy, to say the least. She half-expected it to backfire on her as she tried to call up a protective ward for the billionth time.

"Focus on the pattern," Erik reminded her as he paced around her, studying every movement she made. "See it in your mind, then push your power along the lines. Build it, much as you drew it with the chalk, to form the ward."

"Will you show me again?" she sighed, rubbing her forehead.

Erik stopped before her, a ward flaring beneath his feet, his shields appearing in her mage sight. There was no sign of the power being pushed or moving. _He does it so quickly!_ She couldn’t see how he did it at all. The 'pattern' was just a bunch of glowing lines on the floor, nothing was ‘drawn’ as he made his ward. He didn’t even need the chalk.

Erik sighed as he saw her frustration, trying to curb his own. "You have to build it yourself! It's the most basic pattern, the most basic protection. It’s the only way you'll be able to keep Malix away from you."

Harold's shields had protected Mika in her dream but in doing so, had broken without her magic to restore them. Still, a part of her should recognize them, should reconnect with her instincts and build them once more. _It shouldn’t be this difficult._

Mika tried again to no effect.

"You have to concentrate," Erik insisted, folding his arms and looking down at her with a judgmental frown he would have recognized. “You can’t expect someone to do it for you.” He couldn’t even if he wanted to.

"I’m not!" she snapped back at him, frustrated. “I’m trying!”

"You obviously aren't," Erik chided her, his anger rising.

"That's easy for you to say! You just 'poof' and it's there."

“What did you say? I what? I ‘poof’?!” his look was incredulous.

“Yeah, you ‘poof’!” Mika glared back at him as they faced each other down.

Suddenly she gave a snort and both of them broke into laughter.

“I ‘poof’,” Erik flipped his hair back and ran a hand down his face, his shoulders shaking.

“Yeah, you do.” Mika nodded, winding down into chuckles.

"It’s only because I've practiced it for several decades." He shook his head, dropping his arms at his sides and looking at her hopelessly. His heart ached as she grinned at him.

“Decades?” Mika studied Erik. “Just how old are you?”

“Not that much older than you,” he admitted.

“Demons age like humans?” The question just came out and Mika saw him sober up.

“Kind of. Don’t worry about it,” he quickly turned the topic again. "Now, try again."

Groaning, Mika tried to picture the bumpy, misshapen star in her mind, despising how crooked it was. It refused to light, her hands barely showing a faint purple glow.

"Mika, light it up!" he pressed her.

She pushed harder, only to have the light die completely.

"I don't understand it," Erik complained. "How did you manage to open a gate but can't even light a ward?"

"Didn't you open it?" she asked, surprised. "I called your name."

"I would like to say I did, but you did it yourself, using the portal that's formed between our worlds."

"But you _can_ open it?"

"Yes, it's attuned to me like the wards because I've been through it before. You've never been through it, though, until now."

"Can I go back?" Mika thought of Damien again.

"You could, but I wouldn't risk sending you back until your magic is under control and you can defend yourself." She had told him a little of some of the strange things she’d seen around her: things that weren’t there, electricity flaring, the force shattering her bathroom mirror and lights. She’d seen Malix before the attack. _More than once._

"But-"

"Malix might still be there, waiting for you. Without training, you’re weak. There are those who would take your magic and energy from you, without your permission and without ensuring you survive the process." Erik thought of the watcher, the dragon, and even his own brother. "You need to learn to protect yourself and you need to learn how to fight."

"I know how to fight! I learned Tae Kwon do," Mika answered with irritation. _That was easier to learn than this._

"I mean with your magic. Tae Kwon Do won't stop Malix." _Or a demon._

"Fight with magic?" Mika paused, concerned. "Erik, I want to learn how to heal people, not hurt them."

"Mika, the devils aren't the only ones preying on you, there are others." He couldn't say any more, silently begging her to accept it.

"What do you mean?" Mika’s eyes narrowed.

"You're strong,” Erik prevaricated. “It's very attractive to some of us. You opened a gate!"

 _Attractive to some of us?_ She studied Erik but he wasn’t flirting this time. "You open gates."

"And I can protect myself. But you," he bit his lip.

"You're a Demon Lord, aren't you?" she finally asked, remembering how Shadow had addressed him and deferred to him. "Like James?"

"I am NOT like James!" Erik suddenly snarled, startling her as he quickly turned away. "I may rule a kingdom, but I do not, I DO NOT-" He paused, seeing her frightened look.

"What don't you do?" Mika asked quietly, shocked.

"I don't-" Erik faltered. _She doesn't know. She doesn't know about Raestrao. She doesn't know what he did to her and I can't be the one to tell her!_

"I don't rule like James." He turned away.

"Erik?" She tried to move closer but he avoided her.

“Don’t.” He wouldn’t meet her eyes, wouldn’t let her near him. “Just…don’t. Try again, please, try again." He gestured to the chalked ward at her feet.

Mika remained silent, watching him.

“Please?” He finally did look at her, desperation in his eyes.

"I want to try something else,” Mika answered him, quietly.

“What?” he hesitated to ask.

“Are there any horses here?"

"Yes, we have a few," he admitted, wondering what she was up to.

"Can I see them?"

*

"You're sure the trail ends here?" Matthew searched the forest preserve around them. They'd almost lost it before at the creek until they caught it on the far side. They weren't far from the highway; he could hear the cars in the distance, the train tracks somewhere off to his right. A walking path was close as well, cyclists and joggers running along it, some with their dogs.

The devils had given up hours before, not wanting to be seen once dawn broke. Without any way of tracking their wayward brethren, they were just beating the brush and canvassing the woods, looking for any physical signs of Mika and her abductor. They wouldn't try again until tonight; their best bet, for now, was to go back to the Mansion and see if she returned, but Matthew knew better.

"Yes, I'm sure,” the whine answered him. “It ends right over there. The bum smells like a trash can and she reeks of you." The young man looked over his shoulder at Matthew through his white bangs, huffing to blow them back out of his eyes as he glared. He'd tied his sweater around his waist with his jacket, the heat of the day making him sweat uncomfortably. "Can I go back now?"

Matthew ignored him, extending what little magic he had, looking for any sign of anything. "Are you saying she was kidnapped by a homeless man?"

"Who said ‘man’? She was taken by a demon, idiot," the albino snorted. "Don't you recognize your own kind anymore? You're getting too comfy here," he ridiculed.

"A demon took her?" Matthew refused to be baited into an argument. _Another demon drawn to her power, her energy?_ They were hardly the only ones in the human world. But if it was a demon... "Over where? Where exactly does the trail end?"

"I'm tired."

"If we don't find her, I'll see to it you get plenty of rest in Limbo," Matthew growled, his patience running out.

"Jesus! Alright! What climbed up your ass? Or are you missing hers? You really get pissy when you aren't getting any." The albino quickly ducked as one of the incubus' blades flew just over his head. It struck a tree, burying itself deep in the wood before disappearing in a wisp of black smoke. "Fine! Fine, I'll check once more."

He crouched down, turning to Matthew and sticking his tongue out at him. The next blade just missed him as he disappeared in a flash of purple. A small white bushy-tailed squirrel stood where he'd been, it's tiny tongue still sticking out. It blew a raspberry before bounding off into the bushes, scampering from tree to tree, it's nose sniffing wildly.

Matthew glared but kept his peace. The little shit would never change. He was lucky Simon took a liking to Mika or the homunculus wouldn't have helped him at all. And Matthew had the distinct feeling Simon resented his evening with Mika, yesterday.

Still, he could understand. Mika had been the one to name Simon. She accepted him on sight, as she had accepted all of them the first time she met him and his brothers. He'd created Simon that day for her, pulling him from his pocket. He'd thought he was making a cute stuffed toy, but instead, he'd summoned the shape-shifting homicidal squirrel.

Simon gave a few more bounds, digging in the old dead leaves blanketing the ground from the previous fall, sniffing about.

 _Come on._ Matthew watched him intently. Mika's energy was still strong within him. He was wired, he could last for days.

What had happened between them, he couldn't explain and he'd never regret it. He'd meant to kiss her, worship her body a little, make her feel sexy. But when she offered herself, when she told him to have her, he let himself go. And she matched him perfectly, her body answering his demands over and over.

 _Focus, Zecaeru,_ he reminded himself, feeling his eyes shift to gold again. He pulled himself back under control, forcing the burgeoning hunger to silence. _Find her first._

"Right here," Simon called, shifting back into his human form and kneeling before a bare patch of ground.

Matthew joined him, seeing the footprint of a gym shoe in the earth where it had dug in to propel forward and up. He couldn't smell anything, but Simon's nose was much more sensitive than his.

"And they don't drop back down?" he asked, crouching to look it over before scanning the area around it.

"Nope." Simon dropped back to sit cross-legged on the ground beside him.

"They teleported?" Matthew triggered his mage sight but the magic was long gone. He couldn't do anything more to try and detect it.

The albino shook his head. "Probably another portal. It took the leaves with it," he pointed out.

"Erik again?"

"You kidding? I'd know his scent." The albino frowned, offended.

Matthew continued to study the print. Erik may have been able to break James' compulsion. He knew better than to take the sly incubus for granted. He, himself, had banked on people underestimating him his entire life.

"He could have sent another for her," Matthew mused out loud.

"Would you trust her to any other demon?" Simon's own worry was starting to show.

"I wouldn't," Matthew admitted. Not even his brothers. _Not anymore._ Gritting his teeth, he stood up. "You’d better get back to the house. Keep an eye out for Malix. You see Mika at all, you call me. Right away."

"Yeah," Simon glumly stood and brushed the leaves off his clothes. "You going back to them?" The albino would never admit it out loud but James scared him. And Damien? He wouldn't go near the mind reader if he could help it.

"I have to." Matthew didn't like it either, but he didn't have a choice. He didn't have the power to open a portal on his own. Right now, Mika’s safety was his priority and she could be anywhere in the Abyssal Plains.

_Raestrao's realm._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit:  
> Move Along - All-American Rejects  
> https://youtu.be/XleOkGsYgO
> 
> Sorry for the delay, hope you enjoy!


	24. Standing on the edge of a confession.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mika learns.

The next few days blurred together for Mika, making her worried. Her life was reduced to quick meals, the exhaustive study of magic, and falling into bed only to repeat the process upon awakening. She knew there were others in the castle, many more demons, but Erik had her sequestered in his private wing, a separate world of his own. There was no talk of her going home, no talk of the human world at all other than his occasional inquiry into her past. It bothered Mika more and more with each passing day.

Sam kept his distance. She saw him at meals but little else, his conversation shrinking to where he'd see her, grunt a greeting, eat as quickly as possible, and leave again. Sam never really asked anything, though he listened to their conversation. She couldn't tell if he was mad at her, angry in general, or if it really was "Just Sam being Sam". Whichever it was, he never stuck around long enough to give her the chance to ask.

Meanwhile, Erik’s behavior was growing more and more capricious. His personality was unique, to say the least, and Mika never knew what he was thinking.

He would answer any questions about her magic that she asked. He could and had talked and even debated about it for hours with her into the night. He gave her what he said was a copy of her grandfather's journal. It surprised her and the wording within it fit Harold Anderson despite being written in Erik's scrolling handwriting. So far, it was helping her understand much more than before but when she asked how he'd gotten it, he shut down again.

His responses were moody and unpredictable. If it wasn't her magic, if it wasn't simple things, small talk or little details about her life, Erik would prevaricate and dodge the questions. He was always switching to "more pleasant" topics as if not wanting to upset a child. It made her want to scream but whenever she let her anger show, he would take it silently, morosely accepting it as if it were his due and her own guilt had her backing down.

It was the same any time she asked about or mentioned his brothers. Asking him about James was the worst. Whatever had happened between the two, Erik would snap, flying into a rage only to plunge into glum silence. It would trigger him to push her to learn magic faster, insisting she learn how to fight. Today had been bad, really bad.

"Mika, you can't depend on anyone. You need to be able to protect yourself." He’d stared at her grimly as they stood in the middle of what was now “their” study. Unexpectedly, Erik called up a ball of ethereal energy and threw it right at her, forcing Mika to raise her shield.

It stung terribly when it hit, filling the study with a bright magenta flash. Muscle memory had her blocking it physically, much faster from her martial arts training than with her new magic. Mika’s casting reflexes were way too slow to block it in time. Her shield raised a second too late before dropping from the unexpected pain as she lost her concentration and cried out.

"Erik?!" Her arm burned like a terrible sunburn. She stared at him in shock more than anything as he realized what he'd done.

"I, I'm sorry." He moved to heal her then quickly turned away, appalled at himself. "I can't. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry." Then he was out the door, leaving her staring at his fleeing back in confusion.

 _At least I managed to summon it._ After three days in a row of studying with Erik, she had finally figured out how to cast the protective ward. It was like imagining yourself running on the ground really fast over the lines and around the turns, pulling the power with you until the end hit the start and closed the loop to bring it into being. The fact Erik could cast it so fast, in the midst of distraction and adversity upon multiple targets, was incredible. He insisted she would learn it, too, but Mika wasn't as sure. Her magic was improving. She could feel it now and see it was easier, but she didn’t think she’d ever be as skilled as him.

 _Time for a break,_  she decided, cutting herself off before she could fall into another spiral of what-ifs and worrying. She cleaned up, tidying the books and notes scattered about the table and reached for the hooded sweater she’d found in her wardrobe that morning. Peeking her head out the door, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the library was empty. Shadow might be around and she didn't want to run into him again, especially alone. Carefully, she reset the arcane lock on the door and snuck out into the hallway.

It was too early for lunch and Mika passed the doors to the dining room without a glance. There was one place she could go to set her mind at ease. Even though he wasn’t taking her today, Erik would know where to find her. She’d pulled him outside with her to spend time with the horses every afternoon since her first day here. It was what truly started their slowly blossoming friendship, she remembered as she walked.

"The stables are small. We really only use the horses to pull loads and to plow. They don’t typically allow demons on their backs as they would humans," Erik explained as he guided her along the outer paths towards the stables. Mums lined the walk, smaller trees set in pairs down it. Their leaves were changing from green to a fiery orange at the top.

“It is Fall here,” Mika marveled, happy for the cashmere scarf she’d taken and wrapped around her throat.

“The seasons are on a different schedule here than in your world.” Erik nodded amiably, tucking his hands into the pockets of the chocolate brown jacket he’d chosen to match his pants.

The palace was bigger than Mika thought. Entire wings she hadn't been near, a large kitchen garden, and a separate bakery were just a few of the places they passed on the grounds as they walked. She noticed the guards moving ahead of them, around them, ensuring their privacy. "This reminds me of the old castles in Europe." She'd never seen them in person, only in pictures, but had always wanted to.

"It should," Erik chuckled, "It's based on one of your world’s castles."

"Oh?" She turned to him, surprised.

"Chateau de Chantilly, though I took more than a few liberties to expand upon it. You’re forgetting, I've been there.” His eyes flashed with happiness only to sober. “When we had to rebuild, it was a particularly favorite style and I designed this as a variation. The artists and artisans of Lilith were only too happy to try the new architecture.” _Anything to rebuild, anything to try and bring the Queen back to herself._ He had wanted to bring Ezaeur a little joy and liked to think he had, at least for the short time she’d remained here. “It started a kind of Renaissance of our own, here in the Abyssal Plains."

"You designed this?" Mika was impressed. "It's beautiful! Why did you have to rebuild?"

 _Damn._ Erik grew silent, his eyes shifting away. He'd inadvertently brought them to the topic. "There was a fire." _Don’t say anymore._

"A fire? I'm so sorry!” Mika rested a hand on his upper arm, trying to give him some comfort. “I hope no one was hurt."

He quickly looked back at her, keeping his hands firmly in his pockets, and shook his head. "No. Not by the fire."

Sensing the pain he danced around, Mika ran her hand down his arm but he pulled away from her, hiding the shudder it gave him. Matthew had drained a lot of her energy but with contact, it rushed to him, reminding him just how close she was. _Right here._

"Sometimes I forget that you don't know what's happened," he answered by way of apology as she looked at him questioningly. He'd spoken with her a hundred times about it, wept over it, only to be comforted by the Mika in his mind. But the real Mika didn't know any of it.

"You can tell me, Erik. It's okay." He was doing it again, withdrawing from her.

"I wouldn't want to burden you so, Princess. My paltry complaints should never touch your ears-" The sickly sweet eloquence flowed back into his speech and he stumbled to a halt as she frowned, pulling back.

“Mika,” Erik corrected himself. _Stop it! Just stop it!_ He cleared his throat and his voice returned to normal. “I would prefer NOT to speak of it.” It surprised her even more. He was struggling, she could see it, but he was trying. She moved closer to him once more, not touching but offering a half-smile in support that he wasn’t expecting. "I’m sorry. It's kind of nice, talking to someone who doesn't know all of it, someone who isn’t tainted by the past."

“Maybe not tainted by this past, but I have my own,” she answered gently. “If nothing else, I can listen whenever you need it. Healing takes more than magic, Erik.”

"True words.” He gave her a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. “You are too kind to me and I am grateful for it."

They fell into silence, walking along through the dappled shadows of the leaves overhead. A few dropped around them, Erik’s eyes following them as Mika surreptitiously watched him. One day they would speak of it, she didn’t know how she knew it but she did. Until then, she would wait.

"And here they are." With a flourishing twist of his wrist, Erik indicated the "small" stables. Large enough to house fifty of the beasts easily, there were only twenty within, mostly older. As they walked the stalls, Mika finally felt at home once more, her smile growing as she put her hand out and the horses stepped to their gates and leaned their heads out to sniff and nose at her.

"Were you interested in riding?" Erik asked as she laughed and stroked the silky muzzle of a gray mare that nudged her.

"Maybe later." She looked back at him for a moment as he watched her curiously. "I want to try something."

"Oh?" His curiosity peaked, Erik studied her as she winked and opened the gate, stepping into the stall. Several stable hands that had been keeping their distance quickly rushed towards them but Erik lifted a hand, gesturing them away. Mika knew what she was doing, whatever it was. He didn’t want anyone else near her.

"Aren't you a good old girl?" Mika ran her hand along the horse’s back, studying it as her magic drew her closer. The mare was in good health, well cared for. The stable master had gone above and beyond in his care for his wards, all except... "There's an abscess in her foreleg," Mika’s brow wrinkled, her eyes seeing something Erik couldn’t. The leg and hoof were wrapped and clean but she sensed it had been persistent. It was a danger, known as laminitis. If it grew worse, it would cripple the mare permanently. With the circulatory issues most horses had, it could even lead to death.

"What?" Erik asked, stepping closer.

"Aye, she bolted, spooking while tethered for the farrier and miss-stepped.” The old stable master, a squat, gray-haired furry demon replied. Mostly human, his horns were short stumps. He and the other stable hands were hooved like fauns, themselves. “We’ve been caring for her, feeding her the herbs, but it's been a bitch ever since. I've tried most everything. The ointment's been holding it this long, draining at least to relieve the pressure."

"You didn't heal it?" Mika was surprised. She blinked, clearing her sight and turned to Erik with a disapproving frown. _Magic everywhere and he wouldn't heal the horses?_

"Healing magic isn't as prevalent as you might think," he tried to explain, understanding her reaction.

"My lady, the lord wasn't aware of this.” The stable master quickly interrupted. “He needn't be bothered by such things. The herbs will do their job, eventually."

 _You have no right to blame Erik._ Mika turned back, crouching down and studying the bandage once more. Intuitively, she switched back to her mage sight and carefully guided the mare to raise her leg. Focusing, what she’d only sensed before became visible to her: the wound beneath the bandage, in the bones, the hoof. It was a mild pain; the herbs were helping. Nothing like the crackling agony she'd taken from Erik the night before.

She ran her fingers over it and the mare stilled, ears flipping forward. Mika's eyes flashed white as the glow of her healing magic surrounded her hands and soaked into the horse's leg. Around her, the gasps and exclamations of the stable hands went unheard.

Erik watched her intently, switching to his own mage sight. Mika saw the tissue, the infection, and suffused it with her power. She could feel it flush away, the wound closing and the tissue strengthening in the flow of white power that bathed it. She finally leaned back to reveal the horse's leg was bearing weight once more.

"My lady!", "Mika!" The stable master rushed forward with Erik as she stood and swayed. Rising too fast, the blood rushed into her head, making her dizzy.

"Did I do it?" She turned to Erik as he held her steady, one arm around her waist. "Did I heal her?" she asked, looking up into his concerned amethyst eyes.

The stable master crouched, peeling the bandage off to whistle in wonder. "Aye, my lady. She's good as new. Thank ye!"

"You are one recklessly amazing woman." Erik shook his head in admiration. Taking her hand, he carefully led her out of the stall to a nearby bench. A stable hand rushed forward to offer her a clay mug of water, the young female faun staring at Mika in awe.

"I'll take that as a compliment.” Mika smiled at the girl, sipping. The room gave a wobbly spin around her and she quickly handed it back.

Erik crouched down in front of her, reaching to tuck her hair back behind her ear. "It is a compliment but be careful. I've been pushing you too hard today." He studied her, his fingers tender as he stroked her hair.

"But I did it! I did magic again, Erik." Mika couldn't let it quell her excitement.

"You did but we should get you back to your room. You should eat and sleep." He was worried, she could see it.

"But-" The room shifted again and she took a deep breath, balking at the thought of walking so far.

"There will be more magic, tomorrow." He chided her gently before guiding her to stand with him.

She wasn't expecting him to draw her close as if he would dance with her. Mika blushed, but the others around them weren’t concerned. Looking up, she caught the magenta flash of his eyes as he looked down at her, the swirl of purple light as a ward flared beneath them. Then her stomach dropped and he held her against him as they plunged into darkness.

They landed in her suite, Erik steadying her once more. "Careful."

"How did you do that?" She looked around in shock.

"Teleportation ward," he answered with a cocky grin, stepping back from her. "A little more advanced than shields."

"A little." She really wasn't feeling her best. She felt the room tilt precariously. _Or is it me?_

He rushed forward to hold her, concerned. "Let's get you some dinner in bed, shall we?"

"Erik-" Mika stepped back this time, seeing the bed beyond him and flushing bright red. The flirts, the sexual innuendo, and blatant invitation of the first night returning to her mind. Despite her dizziness, he recognized the look.

"No!" Erik held out a hand to her in entreaty. "No, I don't mean it like that. I, I'm sorry for my previous behavior. Princess, I never should have said those things, never should have-"

"I upset you and you lashed out at me." Mika guessed, making her way carefully on her own to sit on the edge of the bed.

“I,” Erik kept his distance. "Yes. It was rude and insensitive of me."

"I understand.” _Healing takes more than magic,_ she reminded herself.

“It was wrong-” Erik paused as she looked at him.

“Don’t worry about it. I just want to sleep.” Mika leaned over, falling back onto the bed, passing out.

He gathered the pillows for her, took off her shoes, and drew the blankets over her. There would be food waiting for her once more when she woke and as she slept, he would guard over her dreams.

*

Mika heard footsteps approaching from the intersection ahead and she ducked into a doorway. It would be easier to hurry to the stables once she was outside, but she didn’t want to run here. It would only attract more attention.

She heard a soft hiss and jumped, turning around to find the ornate double-doors behind her open a crack, motion beyond them catching her eye. Peeking through she saw a huge, dark and empty ballroom. The walls were lined with mirrors and tall curtained windows. French doors across from her led to one of the many large stone patios outside.

Standing in the dim shadows was a silhouette. Sam in his cargos and a military green t-shirt, his stance familiar. Silent, he shifted on the balls of his feet, crouching and stretching one arm wide, his head turning to follow the movement of his hand until his palm faced away. The motion was so slow, painstakingly performed as he opened his shoulders. His hiss sounded again, his eyes flashing a faint green before he closed them, holding the position.

Mika recognized the form. Tai Chi. She could see him shaking with the effort, though it was not considered to be more than a basic move. Sweat darkened his shirt down his back, the ballroom stuffy but not so warm as to be the cause.

He’s still in pain.

Mika carefully opened the door a little wider and slid inside, closing it silently behind her. She only took a few steps before Sam’s voice broke the silence.

“You can just turn around and go right back out there.” Mika froze and he dropped the stance, standing as straight as he could and folding his arms.

“Sam, can we talk?”

“We could, but frankly, I don’t want to.” He spun on his heel, heading for the French doors.

Mika ran after him, her temper rising. "What the fuck is your problem?" she snapped.

"My problem?" Sam whipped around after only taking a few steps, Mika almost slamming face-first into him. "I don't have a problem. I'm fucking fantastic. What's yours?"

"Why do you keep lying to me?!" she demanded. “I know you aren’t!”

"Why do you keep following me?!" Sam gave a nasty smirk as Mika's cheeks flushed red and she faltered. He turned away and kept going.

She watched him for a moment, then shook her head and charged after him. "You're not losing me that easy."

"I've never had you to lose you," he snarled. She reached for his shoulder and he jerked away from her, hissing again as the muscles of his back screamed.

"What's wrong with you?" Frustration twisted with Mika’s anger. The light dimly shining through the gauzy curtains threw their shadows across the mirrors around them.

"Nothing's wrong with me!" He stepped halfway into the expanse before turning around and facing her once more. Mika stopped dead in her tracks, twenty feet away as she saw the faint green glow return to his eyes.

"Ever since we got here, you've had this attitude,” she confronted him. “You're the one that brought me here but all you do is either ignore me or yell and resent me! I don’t understand you. You or Erik!" The dam on her feelings was breaking and she couldn’t stop it if she wanted to, the shaky ground beneath her crumbling away.

"Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you-" Sam bit his tongue. _Don’t say it._

"Before what? What did I even do to you?" Mika glared before looking away miserably, her hands dropping to her sides, her voice lowering. "What did I do to you that was so terrible?"

"You ditched us," Sam admitted and she startled, turning back to him. "You chose Andrew and you pushed us out of your home and out of your life, making Diana cast a spell on you to forget us, to block your magic forever."

"I... What?" Mika's voice was faint. Sam’s words struck her, stealing her breath. _A forget spell?_ He watched her, glaring himself, letting it sink in. _I ditched them and chose to forget those days? I chose to forget them?_ It was the furthest thing she’d ever expected to hear.

"We got caught up in a fight with that gang of devils. We were hurt, some of us dying,” Sam quietly continued. “You… you let us stay with you, live with you so we could heal ourselves.”

Mika’s eyes widened. The vision she’d seen in the foyer. It was the five of them, injured and unconscious, lying bloody on the floor. It was a memory. Her memories were haunting her.

“You gave us our first real home. Ever." He took a step forward before making himself stop. "Some of us, we kinda became attached to you. Damien, Erik..."

"You?" Mika asked quietly, her heart pounding.

"No!" Sam rebuked it bitterly, turning away and folding his arms. "We lived with you for a few days, training to fight Malix. Damien's the one who saved you from him." He gave a humph, unable to hide his pride in his little brother. It had been gruesome and exactly what the devil deserved. "The deal was we'd only stay until we knew you were safe. Damien took Malix out, we thought for good. When we asked if we should stay or go, you told us to go."

Mika's heart lodged in her throat. _All of them... James, Matthew, Damien, Erik, Sam. They had been a part of my life and I sent them away?_

"Sam?" Mika's voice cracked, fighting the rising tears. "Why did I do it?" She forced the question out, staring at his back.

He looked over his shoulder at her, his eyes flaring again. Anger. Disappointment. Rejection. The weight of it crushed her as she fought for composure and he shrugged as if he couldn’t give a shit.

“Why did I do it, Sam?!” Mika screamed, feeling their pain as acutely as her own as Sam started to walk away again. “How could I have done such a thing?”

No wonder the others hadn’t said anything. She might reject them again, might turn them away. She definitely wouldn’t have believed them.

Mika thought of James and how he’d helped her the night of the storm. **Mika, we have met before.** He had admitted it. He’d returned to her. He’d known her and still protected her, still wanted to be with her. Diana had left him, but Mika had rejected him first, and he still returned to help her through the loss of Andrew.

Matthew. All this time he had been working at the Company. All this time he had been helping Andrew. And when Andrew died, he was right there to help her pick up the pieces. **I'm here for you and for him, too.** But she hadn’t been there for Matthew, not when he needed her the most.

Erik? Erik’s behavior suddenly didn’t seem as strange as she thought. _We kinda became attached to you._ Mika could tell Erik took things to heart. Behind his courtly charms, he was always watching, always considering. How bitterly he’d scorned her that first night. **We’ve only just met, Princess. Right?** But she’d scorned him first.

 _A spell to forget them, to block her magic._ She had thrown it right in Erik's face again. Had practically asked him to do it again!

And Damien. When he turned around and saw her there on the sidewalk… she would remember his look for the rest of her life. _He was so happy. And I was, too. I didn’t even know why._ She'd thought he'd looked familiar. She had seen him before on campus, many times in the distance, watching her. She'd never paid much attention to it. There were a lot of students you just always saw due to schedules and classes. **Damien's the one who saved you.**

Mika burst into tears, her heart hurting. “Why did I do it, Sam? Please, tell me!”

Sam’s expression softened and he turned back. "I dunno," he sighed, stepping back towards her. "It probably was a lot to handle. I mean, we aren't the easiest to live with, not even counting being demons and all. It was pretty bloody, what happened, too. And Andrew..."

Mika flushed bright red and barked a sob. "That asshole! Choosing him was the worst mistake of my life, wasn't it? How could I do that to you? You could have stayed. Even with Andrew, you all could have stayed as my friends!" She shouted, furious with herself.

"Mika," Sam reached for her and she stepped back, turning and running for the door. She didn't make it five feet before his arms slipped around her from behind. Sam pulled her back up against him in a tight hug, refusing to let her go. His chin rest on her shoulder, his lips at her ear. "It's alright. You're here now."

"It isn't alright, Sam." Mika fought him, trying to pull out of his embrace but he wouldn't let her. "Let go! It isn't all right! I hurt you! I hurt all of you when you were counting on me. How could I have been so selfish?!" Her sobs broke through and she clawed at his hands, shaking her head, her hair whipping at his face. "Why didn't you just let the devils take me?"

"What are you saying?!" Sam spun Mika around to face him, his hands clamping down on her shoulders to keep her from running.

"I don't deserve to be saved, Sam.” She ducked her head, refusing to meet his eyes. “I'm selfish, self-centered. I don't think of others... Not like I should. I'm a terrible person." Naomi had said the same thing. And that because of it, she’d driven Andrew to cheat. She’d practically pushed him into her friends’ arms as she neglected them all.

"Yeah? And I'm an asshole." Sam gave a sarcastic laugh, surprising Mika into looking up at him. "You want to talk about selfish and arrogant? Wait till you get to know James better." She stared at him, at a loss. "And self-centered? You seen Erik?"

Mika blinked, the tears clearing from her eyes, and gave a small "Yeah."

"Yeah?" Sam raised his brows. "The dude's so emo, even the shadows are impressed." Mika gave a small bark of bitter-sweet laughter. "What I’m saying is, we've all got our issues. You made a mistake but I don't think you should go to Hell for it."

"I feel like it," she admitted, sadly.

"Yeah? Well, I feel like this." Sam pulled her close, hugging her tightly against him, his head tilting to brush her hair with his own.

Mika stood there, surprised for a moment before softening and hugging him back. "I'm sorry, Sam," she whispered into his chest. "I'm so sorry I did that to you. To all of you."

"Well, we all ditched you, too. Except Damien. He stayed to keep an eye on you." Mika squeezed her eyes shut. "Matthew stuck around, too," Sam grudgingly admitted.

"Sam, I want to know you, all of you. I don’t want to forget you."

"That's good. Cuz you're not getting rid of us that easily. Not again." He let her go, stepping back and mussing up her hair with one hand.

"Hey!" She swatted at him as he laughed at her.

"Come on, Doofus. It’s time for lunch. Let's go find the King of the castle." He shoved her towards the door.

"Sam?" Mika looked back over her shoulder at him.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit  
> Ain't nobody got it easy - Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors  
> https://youtu.be/ChRrbN6Ui7g


	25. We build it up, we tear it down, we leave our pieces on the ground.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some consequences.

Early afternoon and Matthew stood at the foot of the walk, staring up at James' house as he considered his options. Hesitating. He hated hesitating, hated hiding, hated how much he wanted to turn around and leave. Avoiding his brothers wasn't an option. Right now, time was precious, even more so with Mika in the Abyssal Plains. Her abductor now had a head start of days on them in the demon world, yet still, Matthew balked.

He hadn't seen Damien in over three months. They "spoke" regularly in texts or on the phone, but they hadn't met up in person for a while. _Living our lives._

They'd lived together before his brother left for school. _Face it, before he moved to watch Mika in Urbana._ Damien couldn't take being away from her back then. For more than four years his brother held her in his heart until he realized Diana’s spell had made Mika unobtainable. Only then did Damien finally leave her but he never did let her go.

 _I'm sorry,_ Matthew thought up towards the window. There was no way his brother didn't know what happened between him and Mika. _I'm not sorry for being with her but I’m sorry if it hurt you._

Matthew finally understood Erik's duality, how he resented his sexuality as much as embraced it, but he couldn't hate himself. He couldn't resent living. He wouldn't regret what they'd shared, what Mika had given to him.  _She offered but it was my choice to take._

Guilt wasn't something Matthew was used to, either. He’d always kept himself out of situations that could lead to it. It hadn't been difficult, before.

James led the way when they finally broke free from the Abyssal Plain, he and his honor, his discipline. Matthew had admired him for it and ultimately internalized it. Honor was another word for guilt-free. If you lived with honor, behaved with honor, your choices wouldn't come back to haunt you.

_Theoretically._

_But real life? How did Mika put it? She was a mess? No. Real life is the mess. You could live with as much honor as possible and life would still find a way to taint you._ But that was what living was all about. Getting dirty.

And coming clean.

Yet Matthew still couldn't find it in himself to approach the house.

The bedroom curtain twitched and he saw a shadow shift behind it. He stood still, forcing his mind away from everything except Mika's trail, that she had gone through a gate. He focused his thoughts on the Plains as well as on his worries of their eldest brother. Simon always saw more than he told, but he'd told Matthew enough of what James had been up to.

The front door opened and James stepped out, closing it behind him. Matthew remained silent as the Demon Lord came to join him. His brother looked rough, his wounds from the fight were healed but his eyes were sunken behind his glasses. He wasn't meeting Matthew's gaze.

 _Something happened._ Fear for Damien rushed into Matthew, foremost in his mind. _First Sam, then Erik, now Damien?_ He reached into his pocket, refusing to be taken off-guard. His fingers closed around the knife's handle as he summoned it, the steel cold against his skin.

"If you're going to throw it, get it over with." James stopped a few feet from him, recognizing the motion. His lips thinned, color rising on his cheeks as he waited. His hands remained down at his sides, leaving himself completely open, unarmed.

"Damien?" Matthew didn't relax an inch.

"Sleeping. He can't hear us, for now," James finally met his eyes with haggard sorrow. "We spoke." They’d actually talked for hours until Damien finally dropped, only a mere hour before. "I know I've made mistakes. I've wronged you, Matthew. Whether or not you believe me, I am sorry. You may speak your mind as well if you wish."

"Gee, thanks, your Majesty." Matthew snarled, pulling the blade out to point it at him in accusation. "Stop with the sad act. You show up, fuck with my world, and now expect me to have a brotherly heart to heart with you? To forgive you? To comfort you? No way!"

James took his words without argument. "Mika?" he asked instead.

"She's gone," Matthew admitted. "I couldn't follow them," he clarified.

"I couldn't heal Damien," James admitted in return. "He needs more than I have the skill for. We need to find him a healer."

"Oh, you mean like Erik?" Matthew's temper returned white-hot and he glared, whipping his blade at James, only to banish it right before it struck. His brother didn't move an inch, eyes calm behind their lenses. He would have let it hit. It only made Matthew more furious.

"Oh wait, you banished his ass, you fucking douche canoe!"

"Matthew-" James tried to interrupt but his brother let his anger out in a stream of expletives that would have impressed Sam. "Matthew, I am sorry."

"Sorry? Who gives a fuck?" Matthew’s eyes flared bright blue.

"Zecaeru," James tried again.

"Sorry's just a word, James. " He spat the human name, reminding that they were standing out in the open as he walked up to him. "Sorry doesn't mean anything. Mika's in the fucking Abyssal Plains." James froze, surprised. "I need you to open a gate. Then while I find her, you're taking Damien to Erik."

James shook his head, his own anger returning at the mention of the Lord of Lilith. "No."

Matthew punched him square in the face, knocking him back a few steps, splitting his lip again. James' own eyes flared gold, his anger bristling as he raised his fists.

"Go ahead," Matthew dared him. "I haven't had a good fight in a long time. It's not like Sam can be here to do it."

The reminder hit James harder than Matthew and he withdrew, lowering his guard.

"You say you're sorry? Prove it, asshole. Start fixing your fucking mistakes. You're the last person I want to ask but I can't open the gate myself; you're the only one who can. I don't even want to think of you going near her again."

James couldn't look any more surprised.

"Yeah, I know what you did." Matthew stormed past him, heading up the stairs of the front porch. He would fix his own mistakes as well.

"How?" James demanded, following him.

"This is my Kingdom, remember?" Matthew stopped and threw it back at him as he opened the screen door.

"You were with her, yesterday," James accused. "If you took advantage of her..."

“Like you? No." Matthew's voice went deathly quiet. "And if you ever touch her again, I will forget that you're my brother." Steel kissed James' throat, Matthew summoning another blade before he could even notice.

"I won't let you hurt her, either." James stood his ground. The two stared at each other, neither moving, precious seconds slipping by until the eldest brother finally swallowed his pride and looked away.

Matthew moved into the living room, pulling his phone from his pocket. He would only have six days to find Mika in the Abyssal Plains before they would be expected back at the Company on Monday. He hoped it would be enough time but just in case, he’d leave a message. Turning it on, a flood of notifications popped up on the screen. Over twenty voicemails and the most recent text was his secretary begging him to call her.

James watched him silently, letting him lead when his own phone vibrated in his front pocket. Pulling it out, he was surprised to see the name: David Anderson. His eyes met Matthew's as he held it up to show his younger brother before he very deliberately shut it off.

"Shit," Matthew's eyes dropped back down to run over the texts from his secretary but they didn't tell him anything. He hit the call button, the phone ringing in his hand only once before she quickly answered. "Jeanne, what's wrong?"

"Matthew, where have you been?"

"I'm sorry, I turned my phone off.” It was something he never did, not until yesterday when he was trying to conserve battery power as he tracked Mika. His apology had James looking away again. The Demon Lord never gave such courtesy to his retainers or servants.

"Have you checked your messages? Is Mika with you?" It wasn't the kind of blunt inquiry Matthew would have expected. Jeanne typically respected his privacy.

"No. What's going on?"

"Jared died last night." The sentence rang in Matthew's ears. He was aware of James startling beside him as well, his brother’s hearing easily picking up both sides of the conversation.

"How?" Matthew ran a hand through his hair, dropping his head. Though they weren’t that close, Jared was more than just a co-worker to him. The man had always supported him, always believed in him. The loss hurt.

"It was a heart attack. Elizabeth woke when it happened and called an ambulance. They resuscitated him but he died en route to the hospital."

"Is she okay?"

"As much as she could be. One of the other executives is with her now, taking care of her. We haven't been able to reach Mika, though."

"She was really upset yesterday. She probably turned her phone off, too," Matthew bit his lip. They would expect Mika to come in, to show a strong family presence and keep the Company focused.

Andrew was gone and now his father, Jared Lewis, the remaining Anderson Company founder, was dead right on the heels of the CEO. The company's public relations department along with legal had to be panicking. Matthew could tell from the background noise that Jeanne was in the office along with several of the other executive administrative assistants.

“Matthew,” Jeanne pushed on in her typically direct manner. "David has called for an emergency vote of no confidence for Mika on Monday."

"What?!" He almost dropped the phone.

"With her missing and unreachable, her inability to choose between you and James Anderson for the interim CEO position, and in light of the scene that occurred with Ms. Patterson; David is using it all against her to try and wrest control of the entire Company. He's saying Mika's too young, too inexperienced to lead properly."

"What the hell?!" Matthew couldn't hide his frustration. "He's been trying to force her into the CEO position for years. He’s only saying that because she refuses to just do whatever he tells her to."

"I know. They all know but they're not thinking straight. Everyone is worried by the instability. And it's worse." This time she did pause.

 _How could it possibly be worse?_ Matthew fought to take a deep breath. James stepped up, putting a hand on his shoulder and he angrily knocked it away, turning his back on him. Part of this was his fault.

"Do you remember the offer from Madison Toys?"

_No. No way._

The competitor had been trying to acquire them for the past three years. They'd tried to romance the board, tried more than one dirty trick to devalue the Anderson Company: false information to the press, threatening litigation, trying to disrupt supply chains.

"David wouldn't," Matthew grit his teeth. _He would._ Mika's father was vindictive, controlling. If he managed the acquisition, he could negotiate to finally make himself CEO, despite Harold's wishes, under the holding company.

"They doubled their offer. He's ready to sell and if he gets the board to unanimously vote Mika out, even with her majority share, we won't be able to stop him."

"Fuck," Matthew swore under his breath, closing his eyes. He took a deep breath. _Hold it together._ Roughly a twelve billion dollar buy-out; the largest in the history of the toy industry. Some members would join David simply for the money.

"Matthew, go see Mika and tell her in person. Talk with her. No one should get this kind of news in a phone call, including you." Leave it to Jeanne to think of him and try to keep him focused. A mother of three, her boys now in college, she could weather any storm. She always stepped up when he needed the time to wrap his own head around what was happening. "I'll tell them you broke the news to her and she's currently in mourning but you've got to get in here.

"Cindy said David will be bringing in James to help convince them and facilitate the acquisition." So David’s admin was on their side? That was some good news and a good set of eyes.

James called his name quietly and Matthew looked back over his shoulder at him. "I will not side with Mika's father," James asserted. Matthew looked young and unsure, anger and sorrow warring on his face as he fought for control.

"Is there anything else I need to know?" Matthew asked into the phone as anger won and he glared at his brother before turning away again.

"Only the details," Jeanne sighed. She knew as well as he how variable those could be, changing on a dime as the executives spoke. They were fickle, but it was what he needed right now because it gave him a chance to win them back. "Please, hurry."

"I'll do what I can," Matthew remained non-committal but could tell she was looking for some support, too. "Put me on speaker." He heard the thump as she set the phone down, the background noise louder with murmurs. He could imagine the administration and managers present turning an ear to listen.

"Jeanne, I won't let this happen without a fight." Matthew boldly drew his line in the sand before continuing. "This goes against everything Harold and Jared worked for, against everything we've all worked so hard for. Anderson has grown and the Foundation as well, from everyone's hard work, and it'll only keep growing.

"I'm really going to miss Jared, but as he always said, ‘Anderson is a family company and we're all members’. Sometimes individuals forget that." _David._ "This is a tough time, but we're tough. We face our challenges and band together. None of us is alone and we're stronger for it. I'm thankful that you're all on the ground and there to help.

"I'll be in as soon as I can." Matthew hit his mute and heard Jeanne pick the phone back up, knowing his cue.

"Thank you," she quietly breathed. It let Matthew know just how bad it was. No doubt the gossip was rapidly spiraling downward, the employees worried about their jobs, their ability to provide for their families.

He unmuted. "Knowing you, you all skipped lunch, didn't you?”

“It’s alright,” she tried to wave it off.

“Have some brought in, on my card, not the Company's. And keep track of who's in. You'll all get double the time back when the dust settles. I'll push it through HR, myself."

"I will.” She knew better than to fight him. Matthew’s voice was steady once more, his mind working quickly as he forged his plan.

"Pull all the board member’s schedules. I need to know where they’ll be and when. I’ll need to talk one-on-one, preferably before David gets to them.

“Last, contact Finance. Have them run the numbers since I started as CTO, Jeanne. Collective as well as separating out all of my programs, projects, and initiatives. The real numbers; no more hiding."

Individuals on the board knew parts of what he did, but Matthew had never let anyone see it all, except Jeanne. She'd been with him since the start, her discretion as strong as his own. But the time for working in the shadows was over, the board members needed to be assured that they would be fine if they stuck with him.

"You got it," it was almost a cheer from her.

"No, you've got it," Matthew threw the compliment back to her, forcing himself to smile so she'd hear it in his voice. "Take care." He hung up, taking a deep breath before turning back to his brother.

The look James was giving him made a wave of nervous pride rush through Matthew. It was as if his brother, the James of the past, was standing there.

"You really have become a Lord in your own right." James gave him a small smile.

"Well, I had a good teacher, before." Matthew couldn't keep the small dig from coming out, following it with a sigh. "But my Kingdom's going to be sold out from under me."

"We face our challenges and band together," James repeated the words he'd told his brothers countless times in the past, the words Matthew had just used for his own people. "Go. I'll take Damien to Erik and we will find Mika and bring her back." James made himself commit, though even saying Erik's name was difficult for him.

"How can I trust you?" Matthew's look hardened again. "After all you've done, how can I trust you with her?"

James felt the burn of his anger and battered pride and forced it down. _You deserve it. You deserve all of it._ "I would not trust myself," he admitted to his younger brother. He didn't trust Erik, either. "But I trust Damien."

Matthew bit his lip again. Sadly, he wasn't sure he did. While one might find his brother's loyalty, his steadfast dedication to Mika inspiring, Damien had a dark side. His brother was obsessed with Mika; Matthew couldn't help but worry. Damien's jealousy had only shown itself a few times to Matthew as they lived together, but when it had, it was disturbing.

But not as disturbing as hearing from Simon that James took Mika as she was trapped in a sleep spell, that he pretended to be Andrew as he fed upon her throughout the night, that he later banished their other brother, who tried to stop him.

Years ago, he would have thought Erik to be the one to take Mika and James to be the gentleman, but the tables had turned. Erik had every opportunity to take advantage of her, he could have easily used another spell on her. He could have pulled her into the demon world himself but he hadn't. Instead, he comforted her, kept watch over her, tried to help her. Of them all, Matthew trusted Erik the most.

"Zecaeru," James' voice held an intensity Matthew hadn't heard in years, almost never directed at him. "I know I have wronged you."

James saw Matthew's lips tighten, his brother's back straightening in umbrage, and he continued. "I have wronged Mika, too. I need to tell her. I need to ask for her forgiveness and I need to pay for my crime."

"You what?" Matthew stared at him, surprised.

"I will not be returning David's call. You're right; the Anderson Company, this world, is yours. I will not be returning with Mika once we find her. The Demon Lord belongs in the Abyssal Plains. Mika belongs here."

"James..." Matthew was astonished. "You're banishing yourself?"

"I cannot stay here. I cannot risk-" James looked away, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "You've been with her; you know."

Matthew swallowed, not answering.

James returned his look, studying him as he continued. "The next time you see Mika, can you honestly tell me you won't want her again? If she chooses another, would you be able to step back? Would you accept it?"

"What do you mean?" Matthew asked but he knew. He did know what James meant. Mika's energy, her power, it was like nothing he'd experienced before. It called to something deep inside him, filled a part of him he'd never known was empty.

"Did she give you her heart as well as a place in her bed?" James watched him intently. Matthew's eyes gave away his uncertainty. Mika hadn't chosen him, yet.

"None of us are as naive as we once were," James pressed on. "Our hunger, the drive, it's a part of us. It's harder to step away, now; it isn't in our nature. Mika is undeniably a Queen."

"She is," Matthew admitted. He had used the title loosely in his mind in the past as he worked at Anderson, as he helped her through Andrew. But with her power unlocked, with her energy and her magic, Mika was changing.

Matthew saw her with his mind's eye, moaning with him as he slid into her and claimed her. He felt her once more as she clung to him, taking her pleasure of him as he fed and took his pleasure of her. He felt his eyes go gold, felt the hunger grip him. James' eyes flared with his for a second, reliving his own memories, before the elder brother suppressed it.

"If she chooses Damien," James' voice was low as he watched Matthew blinking, the younger incubus forcing his own desire back. "Will you be able to accept it?"

"She isn't a piece of meat, James."

"But we are wolves, Matthew. And Mika is a human, not a demoness to be able to handle us."

"We 'handle' ourselves," Matthew answered with disgust. "And we take care of her. I will abide by her choice."

"Precisely. That is why I will send her back to you and stay behind, while you stop David."

"I can't just stay here." Matthew shook his head, torn. He would be left behind, again.

"You aren't 'just staying here." James moved to the stairs. It was too tempting for him to send Matthew to Erik with Damien. Too tempting to take what wasn't his. Committed to finding his redemption, he had to move into action. Halfway up the steps, he paused, one hand on the wooden railing as he looked down into the living room at his brother.

"It's your Kingdom, Zecaeru, yours and hers; only you can save it."

As much as he hated it, Matthew nodded. It was the truth and every minute mattered as David worked to undermine everything. "Tell Izroul I'm sorry."

"I will. Damien will bring her home."

"And Raestrao," Matthew moved closer, looking up the stairs at his brother, the one who pushed him to become the man he was today. Once more, James was leaving him. This time, he could say goodbye. "Take care."

"You as well." James gave him a sad smile before continuing up the steps.

*

Erik was surprised to find the study empty when he returned until he realized the guards had followed him. Neither had remained to keep an eye on Mika.

He knew he shouldn't have left her, knew he'd been wrong to lose his temper but he couldn't keep her here forever and he couldn't protect her from Raestrao. His brother had broken into his mind once, despite his shields; he could do it again. He could force them apart once more with another command.

 _At least Aomaris can protect her._ Erik was sure Sam would at least try. The dragon wouldn't let Raestrao intimidate him but Sam wasn't the fighter he used to be and he still refused to let Erik try to heal him.

 _Whatever he'd been through with the other healers, it had to have been bad._ Especially if he was avoiding it now. Sam could tolerate more pain than anyone he'd ever known. Brutes were trained to ignore it and push on. _I can't help him if he won't let me._

But right now Erik had another worry. He knocked on Mika's door, to no answer. Cracking it open, he saw she wasn't there. That meant she was roaming this wing of the castle, alone. At least he hoped so. The guards had this wing locked down; only himself, Sam, and the servants were allowed. It gave a better chance that she wouldn't be approached by anyone.

"My Lord," Erik was pulled from his thoughts by a quiet voice behind him.

"Tiffy?" One of the chambermaids, he studied the blushing blue-haired cat-girl standing behind him. She’d been one of the flirts in his youth, carrying a crush on him. One of the hearts he’d broken only to find her working here, years later. He saw her almost every day as she went about her work. She was always shy around him, now. She had requested to be one of his personal servants, aiming for his bed, but he never took her up on it.

"I'm sorry, My Lord." She twisted a dust cloth in her hands, nervously. "I don't mean to interrupt you. I saw the Lady going to lunch in the dining room with the Dragon Lord."

"Is she?" Erik was even more surprised. Sam had been avoiding Mika ever since he brought her here. Perhaps his brother’s temper was finally cooling; Mika had a habit of disarming them.

"I passed them on the way here." Tiffy stepped closer.

"Thank you." Erik took a deep breath, relieved.

"My Lord, forgive me, but I can't help but notice. Aren't you hungry?" Tiffy looked up at him, her lavender eyes wide, tail swaying behind her.

"Excuse me?" Erik shook himself from his thoughts, surprised.

"Aren't you hungry?" She asked again, taking a step closer.

He blinked and then caught it, the scent of her desire for him. His nostrils flared, the pit of his stomach tightening. "I'm alright. Thank you." Erik took a step back.

"But it's been days!" Tears were in her eyes. "Please, My Lord. We've all been worried about you! I know you haven't been with the Lady. I know it isn't good for you to abstain. You need to stay strong. You've been under so much stress." She dropped the cloth into her apron pocket, quickly putting her hand on his forearm to stop his retreat. "It isn't right."

She leaned forward, her hand closed on his arm, keeping him there. A glance down at her had his eyes straying further down the collar of her uniform, giving a tempting view.

"My Lord, let me help you, please." Tiffy pulled his arm against her, hugging it between her breasts, leaning up on tiptoe to kiss him.

"Tiffy!" The maid had never been so bold before.

Tiffy's lips brushed his, tasting sweet, better than he remembered. A growl escaped from Erik, his eyes shifting to gold, triggering his senses and enthrallment of its own accord. Her energy was high and she pressed herself against him, opening her mouth to him, tempting him to kiss her.

The beast in him was barely under control as he gripped the girl's arms, roughly holding her away from him.

It was true he hadn't been with anyone since Mika arrived. He refused to take Mika’s energy, he and Sam both. They wouldn’t take advantage of her, wouldn’t try to seduce her. It was the same understanding as when they'd first met her at the Mansion, respecting her, respecting Harold, and respecting Andrew.

"Don't you want me?" Tiffy whispered sadly, shuddering as he held her at arm’s length, her scent strong in his nose. She looked up through her lashes at him, licking her lips and he mirrored her action, his own tingling from their kiss. He felt the demand of his body responding, his hunger flaring almost painfully from want. The energy she offered beckoned. "Please, My Lord," she implored, “Take me.”

Erik tried to rein himself in, surprised at how strong the desire was, his hunger reaching a dangerous level. Tiffy gave a whimper, his fingers were digging into her thin arms. _You’ve held yourself back too long,_ he realized, quickly letting her go. With how much the maid was stirring him up, he didn't dare go near Mika.

Tiffy pulled at the bow of her uniform, untying it, opening her collar further. He could hear the maid’s breath quickening, her pulse racing. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

Erik’s mouth went dry, his body aroused and hard. _Mika's safe with Sam,_ he reminded himself, licking his lips once more, the sweet taste of the maid returning, almost maddening. Tiffy’s eyes met his, begging him.

“Please.”

_Mika’s safe with Sam and you need the energy._

“I could never be so rude as to leave such a lovely girl wanting,” Uzaeris’ voice dripped with courtly charm. He tossed his head, shaking his bangs back from his eyes as he let them go gold, smiling as Tiffy succumbed to his enthrallment.

"Come with me, my sweet."

*

"See? Told you. You're a doofus." Sam teased as Mika gasped from the cold. She'd been enjoying their conversation, one of the first real discussions they'd had. _Leave it to me to fumble my tea._ She wasn’t even sure how she’d managed it. Thankfully it was iced. Mika snatched up the linen napkin beside her plate, but her jeans were already soaked.

Sam lost it, clutching his stomach and laughing out loud as she started picking the ice cubes off her lap and dropping them back into the tall, now-empty glass. She whipped one straight at him and he caught it, tossing it back. It hit the rim, circled, and landed in the glass with a clink.

"Three points," he grinned at her.

Mika met his look and tossed the next one across the table, landing it in his own glass. "Yes!" she laughed. She couldn't believe she'd managed it. "Game’s tied, Sour Sam."

"Sour Sam?" He raised a brow.

"You know, like those candies." She flashed a cheeky smile as she dropped the last cube back in her glass.

Sam dropped his jaw, incredulous. "You dare equate me to Sour Patch Kids?"

"Well, they are sweeter than you, so maybe not?"

"I'm sweet!" Sam rebuked.

"And I'm soaked." Mika pushed away from the table. "I'll be right back."

"I'm going with you." Sam shoved back as well.

"I don't want to ruin your lunch! It won't take long." She felt embarrassed enough as it was.

Sam raised a brow, folding his arms as he stepped up beside her. "You go sneaking through the halls like that, it will look like you pissed yourself."

"Sam! Ugh, alright." Mika cringed but it was better than worrying about Shadow finding her. She didn’t say anything but the shadow demon kept watching her. She’d see him, now and then, from the corner of her eye, his amused expression making her even more uneasy.

 _He’s just messing with you,_ she told herself, pushing him from her mind. It was okay, Sam was with her now.

Sam smiled congenially as he walked up the stairs with her. "Besides, this way it looks like I made you piss yourself."

"You jerk!" Mika shoved him and he laughed even harder.

"The term is 'asshole'. And I'm witty enough to make you laugh and lose it."

"You wish."

"Okay, at least I can be scary enough to do it." He gave her a fierce look, trying to prove his point.

"Your smell was scary enough to do it," Mika teased.

"Hey!"

She chuckled and nudged his shoulder, bringing his smile back with her own. Despite being a terrible klutz, she was happy. After their talk, Sam had forgiven her and while she was still mad at herself, it appeared to be water under the bridge to him. It was kind of amazing; Sam was quick to anger but just as quick to move on once the air cleared.

Mika couldn't wait to apologize to Erik. Perhaps he’d be more relaxed around her, too.

"I’ll just-” Sam suddenly stopped.

“Wait." He reached for Mika's arm, trying to stop her but she continued beyond his grasp, the door to her rooms in sight. _Shit._ He should have picked it up sooner, the energy obvious to his senses, now, triggering a reaction that had him clamping down on his instincts with an iron hold. “Mika.”

She looked back at him, confused when she heard the soft cry. Her head turned towards the cushioned alcove across the hall from her door before she could register the noises emanating from it. The curtains were not quite closed, a crack wide enough for her to see.

It was Erik with one of the maids.

Shocked, Mika's blush flared, her jaw dropping as she saw he was naked. Not only naked, wicked dark red horns curved back from his temples down to his jaw, scarlet stripes running across his bare shoulders. They twined down his back, ornate swirls wrapping around his narrow hips, out of sight. The maid cried out again, bent over a pile of pillows on the high window seat, her hands pressed against the glass. Her tail circled Erik's waist as he leaned over her, his muscles flexing in a carnal rhythm, a low moan emanating from his throat as he closed his eyes and threw his head back, picking up the pace.

Sam's hand closed over Mika's shoulder, startling her. He silently pulled her away, moving to block her view. Horrified at having seen such an intimate moment, at having gawked at Erik right in front of his brother, Mika ran for her room. Sam followed, slamming the door closed behind them loud enough to alert Erik.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" Mika spun around, pressing her hands to her cheeks. She felt like an idiot. _He must think I’m some kind of voyeuristic pervert._ Never mind that it was a complete accident.

"Why?" Sam studied her and she paused, surprised. He didn't seem phased by it at all.

"Erik... They were..."

"Having a good time?" Sam chuckled.

"Well... Yeah." Mika answered weakly.

"Maybe he'll loosen up a little, now," Sam quipped and Mika stared at him incredulously before suddenly giving her own embarrassed laugh.

"You think?" She tried to act nonchalant, walking past him to the wardrobe. Pulling out a fresh set of clothes, she moved into the bathroom, closing the door between them. She leaned back against it, blowing out a breath.

Erik had looked... Erik had looked as good as James, only he was doing exactly what she kept telling herself not to think about when she considered the tall demon. That had been…

"You liked seeing it." She could hear the shit-eating grin in Sam’s voice as he teased her through the door.

"God, Sam!" Mika felt her blush run hotter. "Shut the fuck up!" She shoved herself away, quickly ditching her wet clothes and pulling on a chemise and long-sleeved sweater with a fresh pair of jeans. Checking in the mirror, her cheeks were still bright pink. She decided to keep her hair down so she could hide behind it. 

"Hey, you're the one who said you appreciated my honesty," Sam called out, reminding her of their earlier conversation. He could easily sense her reaction. His own hunger stirring, he crushed it out again, shifting to make his back flare with pain.

Mika pulled the door open to find his back to her, Sam guarding the door with his arms crossed.

"You don't need to be that honest," she admonished as she cut past him.

"Why not? It's much more fun."

"So that's what you look like?" Mika tried to play it off, realizing too late that she wasn't quite changing the topic.

"That's what pretty boy looks like." Sam shrugged.

"I mean the stripes, the horns. Are all of you different colors? Different patterns?" _Scientific curiosity,_ she tried to tell herself, wishing she could calm herself down faster.

"Yeah. And before you get the idea and ask: No, I'm not showing you mine."

"Why not?"

"You want to see me naked?" Sam's brows rose, incredulous.

"What? No!" Mika's cheeks flared again.

"It's just what we are," he explained with a heavy sigh as he saw her struggling with it.

"Demons," she nodded.

"Incubi," He clarified and she froze. "You know. Sex demons?"

"No." Mika lost her breath, remembering Matthew with her. _It had been amazing._ "No, I didn't know."

"Well, this is definitely a different way to get you to believe it. Though Erik still has all the fun," he tried to joke but Mika didn't see the humor.

"What do you mean?" Her eyes narrowed.

"We told you the first time we met you, too, and you didn't believe us, then, either. Pissed James off royally." Sam leaned against the mantle over the fireplace, turning his back to its warmth.

"Oh?"

"So he had Sunshine out there teach you a lesson." Sam cocked his head towards the door with a half smile.

"He did?" Mika couldn't help but glance uneasily at the door herself, her stomach sinking. _What did Erik do to me?_

"Yup. Right in front of all of us." Sam's grin widened.

"In front of all of you?" Was that why she wanted to forget them?

"Oh yeah. And you enjoyed it. Course, I did it to you, first."

Mika paled, suddenly sitting down on one of the benches. It wasn't funny anymore. She couldn't remember. She couldn't remember it at all. _Sex demons? What had they done?_

"Hey, you okay?" Sam noticed the change of mood and carefully sat down beside her.

"What did we do, Sam?" Mika was scared, turning to look up at him. His eyes were so green. They were boring into hers, his own demeanor going serious.

"I kissed you. Your first kiss," he admitted.

 _My first kiss?_ "No, that was with Andrew." She shook her head. "We had a date at K's Cafe and he kissed me on the Mansion's stairs after he took me home." It was a memory she had cherished.

"Damn it," Sam cursed himself for a fool. There was no easy way to tell Mika so he just started at the beginning. "When you first got to the Mansion, your dad dropped you off. You came into the lobby to find all of us hurt, lying on the floor. I was low on energy. I wasn't really thinking."

Lightning flashed in Mika's mind. It wasn't the memory from years ago but days ago. Bodies on the marble floor, a storm raging outside. Malix's laughter rang in her head, the doors thrown open into the rain. The devils…the devils tried to get her, Sam snatching a bullet right out of the air. Only he hadn’t. Instead, he’d snatched her up and brought her here.

"Mika?" Sam's voice pulled her from her thoughts. He was watching her, worried.

"I saw it. I saw it in the mansion," she whispered quietly. "Last week, the night of the storm."

Rain, pouring down on her. Green eyes locked with hers as strong arms wrapped around her. A kiss pressed against her lips that drained her.

James had startled her from the vision. She remembered waking to find him in her bedroom, watching over her. _He's an incubus, too. But he only made you tea,_  she reminded herself.

"That... That was me. Again." Sam didn't want to admit it, but he had to.

"You?" Her fear was only increasing. She hadn’t dreamt of him doing anything else. She hadn’t dreamt since she came to this world, but now she feared what she might see, what he might tell her.

Sam sighed, dropping his head. He didn't know how to say it. Where to begin. His anger at himself reared once more, self-loathing filling him. Wordlessly, he reached down and pulled the chain with his dog tags off. She watched him warily but didn’t say anything as he lifted it to slide them over her head so she wore them.

A gift from a friend, he'd had them since he was a teenager. They had been there, they would work as a connection to the past, helping him extend what little energy he had left as he sparked his own magic.

Mika startled as she saw her vision once more, only this time in the bright afternoon sunlight. Five younger versions of the brothers, injured and bleeding. _Magic._ She could sense it, her fingers wrapping around the tags as she felt herself being pulled in to stand invisible among them.

The front door opened and Mika gasped, seeing herself, much younger, walking in with her suitcases. A headstrong young Sam surprised her, appearing behind her and demanding she kiss him. It really was similar to the kiss she remembered, only this time seeing her young self succumb to his command, unaware of the other brothers she watched standing up until James interrupted them.

"You made me apologize," Sam whispered in her ear as he reminisced alongside her. He watched her as she sat, wrapped in the spell. Her jade green eyes were wide, not seeing the room but the vision of the past his magic was showing her. He remembered how James had explained Incubi to her, how even simple joys contained small amounts of energy that they could consume, not just sex.

"Erik," Mika breathed his brother's name under her breath. She’d dared them and James had given Erik leave to show her, to prove to her that they were what they said. Sam let her see his brother enthrall her as well, Erik rambling obnoxious compliments before leaning down and taking her second kiss.

He ended the spell after it, seeing her blink as her vision returned to the room. Sam could feel the drain, his pain increasing, but he could see it had put her fears to rest, mostly.

"Why did you kiss me again, Sam?" Mika asked, still clutching the tags around her neck.

"I didn't mean to; I couldn't help it." He'd needed the energy so badly. With little food and how much of a toll it took to get to the mansion, he'd arrived ravenous. When Mika’s magic threw the doors wide open, when her energy called to him so strongly, he lost it. His speed had him appearing before her, demanding she kiss him once more. He only took from her until it gave him the presence of mind to realize James was there, before fleeing back into the storm and cursing himself for a fool, again.

“Mika, there’s something you need to know.” Sam couldn’t keep it from her any longer. He’d been siphoning energy from her throughout lunch, not on purpose, just from her joy, her happiness. For a brief time, they’d been happy together. _She’s going to hate me._

“What is it?” Mika reached out to put her hand on his, her concern warming him more than the fire. “I’ll admit the kisses were more than a little surprising, but not the end of the world.”

“But what if I told you this was?”

“What do you mean?” She saw the grim set of his jaw, released his hand as he pulled away from her.

“Just watch and know that I’m sorry,” Sam replied, Mika’s stomach sinking at his ominous words.

The room around her changed to a view of an all-to-familiar forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit:  
> Pieces - Rob Thomas  
> https://youtu.be/O11UikJigxo


	26. Cause you changed the way you kiss me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam comes clean.

Mika's eyes stared blindly, a small, pathetic sound coming from her throat. It had Sam turning away to stare into the fire. The flames flickered, reflected in his green eyes. His ears caught the denial under her breath as she recognized what he was showing her and watched history play itself out once more, only this time from his point of view.

 _He’s talking to someone, maybe himself?_ Mika thought as she saw Sam picking his way through the forest. He moved up to a tree, resting a hand on it and looking beyond. She saw the shadow, someone across the bridle path from him.

 **There are others who would harm you.** Erik's warning came back to her, chills running down her back. She saw the figure crouch down, heard the conversation in the distance, her lips moving with the words she’d recalled over and over in her grief.

Whatever Sam thought, he called out, running for the other person. Knowing what would happen, Mika couldn't help yelling at him to stop, couldn't help running herself to try and prevent him from spooking the horse.

Sam blurred from her vision, his speed kicking in and crossing way too closely in front of its nose. She saw it rear, saw Andrew thrown from its back as she skidded to a stop. The sickly crack had her flinching, a sob escaping her throat.

Sam stiffly paced in the bedroom, turning back to see tears running, Mika's eyes still wide. Her hand clenched his dog tags, white-knuckled as the pain and loss filled her once more, Andrew’s name a breath from her lips.

 _I can't watch this!_ It echoed through both of their minds.

No matter what Andrew had done, she still loved him; a part of her always would.

"Not again, not again!" Mika cried out, tugging at the tags, clawing at the chain. Anything to break out of the vision as she saw Sam's guilt, saw herself approaching.

"Mika, wait!" Sam sank down onto one knee beside her, dismissing the magic instantly. He reached to help her take the tags off, his strong hands gentle as they unwrapped her fingers.

She blinked, not registering the bedroom around them at first. Her eyes finally came into focus behind the tears, finally landed on him.

"I never meant for it to happen," he told her, pulling away, the tags dangling from one hand.

 _It was still an accident._  Mika knew it. _Just not the one you thought. Instead, Sam's caught up in it, too._

"I know." She threw herself into his arms, hugging him tightly, the grief fresh and raw again. Sam held back the hiss of pain it caused. Surprised and speechless, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, comforting her.

And let her comfort him.

*

Erik lost himself to the appetite of the beast as he urgently coupled with the maid. It was hard to focus, hard to hold onto his control. Tiffy moaned again, the sound little more than a gasp. He binged on her, his body driving her over the edge, taking everything she offered. His hunger was voracious, he couldn't quiet it as he snapped his hips, wanting more. 

His senses suddenly flooded with a new energy and he threw his head back at the pleasure. It felt familiar…

 **_She's here!_   **Erik's eyes flew open in shock, drowning in gold, to look back over his shoulder. A gap in the curtains showed Sam's back, Mika beyond him running into her room. His brother pulled the door closed behind them with a bang.

 _She saw me!_ Erik realized, panicking. _She saw-_ Then he tasted the desire on the air. Not Tiffy's. The cat girl was quiet and spent, panting to catch her breath, exhausted.

 _She saw me._ It was Mika's attraction he could sense. _And she desired me._

Erik renewed his effort, driving Tiffy past the brink one more time, taking every last bit of energy before she dropped. He couldn't stop. He was still locked in his hunger, still trapped by the beast. His eyes flared and he pushed himself away from the maid, staggering. The cloying sweetness of Tiffy's kiss was still on his lips, his body aching and unfulfilled, demanding more.

Mika's scent was strong in the air, overpowering him.

 _You can't._ Erik could hear Sam beyond the door, not his words but his voice, a teasing tone. It was alright, the brute wasn't weak, he would not succumb. Sam wasn't an animal like he was.

_Stay with her Sam._

Looking down at the unconscious maid, his body shaking, Erik thanked all the powers that be that his brother was with Mika. It was the only thing leashing the incubus within him, the only thing he could hold onto to fight his instincts.

He gently gathered Tiffy into his arms, fleeing down the hall with her, seeking his rooms and his other servants. His hunger would not be ignored, the urge to satisfy it absolute. It was well beyond any time ever before. Erik cursed it, cursed himself. It had been such a close thing. If Mika had been alone, he wouldn't have been able to help himself.

He would have enthralled and devoured her.

*

“It's alright, Sam. You didn't know; you were trying to help me.” Exhausted, Mika blinked up at him. Her tears had stopped, her voice hoarse.

 _Trying is the keyword,_ Sam thought to himself as he carefully picked her up and laid her on top of her bed, ignoring her feeble protests.

"Get some sleep," his voice was rough from his own emotions as well. He picked up the folded blanket at the foot of her bed, snapping it open and letting it fall on her, the soft fabric draping over her curves.

"Sam," half-asleep already, Mika's hand reached for him but she couldn't keep her eyes open. "Stay."

He couldn't. Sam quietly left her to sleep.

 _That girl._ That girl tied him in knots without ever even knowing it. He'd spent a week beating himself up over the accident, battling his guilt as he hid from his brothers and watched them all from afar. He'd resented Andrew, resented Mika. She had ditched him, him and his brothers.

He shouldn't have cared. He thought he didn't, making her one more lousy memory when he returned to the demon world with James so long ago. He really hadn't thought about her. Not much. Only a little. 'Could have beens' were just another form of self-flagellation in his mind. Once something happened, once you made your choice, it was over. Done. On to the next thing the world throws at you.

He definitely hadn't expected to ever see Mika again. He hadn't expected a lot of things.

Sam's own room was further down the hall, Erik's chambers at the far end. His brother? His brother was doing what Erik always ended up doing. The energy of it teased on the edges of Sam's senses, trying to trigger his own hunger. Between that and Mika, he was having trouble focusing.

He was tired but refused to stay up here. Mika was exhausted from more than just her grief. He'd siphoned some of her energy as he held her. He couldn't help it with the physical contact of their embrace and he refused to let her go as she clung to him.

Instead, he made his way downstairs once more, studying the castle, trying to clear his mind as he put distance between them. There was almost nothing to link this building to the Lilith Castle of old. Almost nothing.

Sam entered the dark, windowless room. The ancient fireplace at the far side was burning low and he carefully crouched down, building it back up. The polished wood paneling on the walls softly lit up as it absorbed and then reflected the glow of the flames. Yet another of the castle's mirrors graced one wall, this time in a wrought iron frame.

There was a row of books on a shelf, kept apart from the library. Sam wondered what they said as his fingers ran over the leather bindings. Were they histories? Did one of them tell Ezaeur's story? Illiterate, he would never know.

But he knew the story of the table standing alone in the middle of the room. The heavy black granite was rough-hewn and yet smoothed from centuries of use. The candlesticks that had graced its four corners and the war map they had spent months studying and fighting over were gone. It felt like weeks ago to him, rather than the decades it had been.

Only the table remained, an heirloom of the Demoness herself. It once belonged to the Mother of all incubi and succubi, the Founder of the demon world, the Queen of the Abyssal Plains; until it was handed down to her children and her children's children and on through the generations to the demoness who brought him and his brothers back from the human world.

When Castle Lilith burned, it had remained standing in the ruins beside the scorched and crumbling stones of the fireplace. When it was decided to rebuild, Uzaeris never moved it. Instead, he built this castle up from the ashes of the old around it.

Sam ran his hand over the dark stone, bowing his head. It was always warm to the touch, no matter the temperature around it. Lilith's table.

_Does she know what her children do?_

Sam dispelled his glamour, the light of the fire stark on his face. It shone on his broken horn and the deep twisted scar on his chest, the shadows cloaking the rest of his incubus form. He leaned over the stone table, his palms flat upon it, hanging his head just as he had when he vowed to Lilith and her Heir that he would restore her power. He would kill his father.

 _The old man's dead,_ he thought to the Queens as if in prayer.  _The old Demon Lord is slain. But what of Raestrao?_

"What would you have me do?" he asked into the emptiness.

*

 **You're not alone,** James' voice was a comfort and a warning to Mika. Red roses grew up from the darkness, twining around her legs as amber eyes looked down into hers. The thorns bit through her jeans, pricking her skin, making her bleed as they scratched her.

 **I’ll do anything to make you happy.**   _Matthew._ A hand grasped hers from behind, pulling her away from the sting and spinning her about into loving arms. Bright baby blue eyes went gold and Matthew kissed her, making her melt. She slipped down through his embrace to drop.

Landing naked atop a bed, the full moon shone down upon her, a silhouette moving over her to block it. Strong hands slid over her bare skin, brushing her ribs, knees kneeling between her legs. **It’s alright, isn’t it?** Indigo eyes opened to meet hers, Damien's lips dipping down to kiss her breast.

Mika gasped and arched, pleasure hot in her veins. She threw her head back into the pillows relishing the feel of him once more, fighting bittersweet sorrow. She lifted her head to look down at him again, an apology on her lips.

It wasn't Damien.

Amethyst eyes crackling with gold lifted from beneath long lashes to meet hers. His mouth drew on her deeply, tongue swirling as wicked red horns brushed her skin. Red stripes wrapped around the wiry muscle, the lithe body shifting to poise above hers, narrow hips inches from her own.

_**Uzaeris.** _

Both of them were trembling. Mika couldn’t describe the attraction his seduction sparked in her, the deep need that almost choked her as she reached for him. She could feel him, the force or energy of him. It was difficult to describe as it brushed against her senses, as he brushed against her body.

 ** _I want you, tell me you want me._** His whisper echoed in the darkness of her dream, making her want to cry for him, beg for him.

 ** _I want you so badly._ ** It was an angry snarl. Mika couldn’t respond, could barely put a thought together other than the need.

 _ **I can’t!**_  Erik denied himself and the desire painfully ripped away from her as he pulled away. He withdrew into the shadows, his presence fading, leaving her alone and breathless.

Mika woke from her dreams groggy, feeling anxious and overheated. She threw the blanket off and stood, her stomach rumbling, her mouth dry. It was pitch black beyond the windows; night had fallen, there was no moon.

The table in her room was bare. Usually, she woke to find food awaiting her along with the water. _It is the middle of the night,_ Mika chided herself. _Not to mention…_ She recalled the maid with Erik and her cheeks flushed, feeling uncomfortable. _She's probably sleeping._

That meant Mika either had to leave her room or stay hungry until morning when Erik would escort her to breakfast. Her stomach gave another grumble and she made her choice, trying not to dwell on Erik or her dream.

 _Shadow has to sleep sometime as well. Go quickly, it'll be okay._ She knew where the guards were; they rarely patrolled, sticking to the doors and archways she or others were forbidden to pass.

Mika cracked her door open, looking up and down the dim corridor. She hadn't run in days but she did now, her gym shoes quiet on the plush carpet. Taking a page from her childhood, she slid down the railing rather than risking the stairs in the dark, bolting for the dining room. _The kitchen has to be beyond, right?_

She ran past the tall empty chairs along the table, moving from lighter to darker to lighter shadows as she ran past the windows. The door at the end, typically guarded by the butler, swung silently as she cautiously pushed it open.

It was a hallway lined with cabinets of porcelain and silverware, folded linen napkins prepared and waiting on the counter for the morning's breakfast. Mika padded past only to find it opened up into an enormous kitchen. Wooden tables ran from her to the far end, giant hearths on the far wall, a large iron stove between them.

The smell of freshly baked bread filled her nose and Mika saw the large covered basket on a table close to her. Pulling the linen aside, the small loaves were still steaming, making her mouth water. She only felt a little guilty as she pulled one out, biting into it. Loving the flavor, she barely chewed as she wolfed it down and reached to pull two more out, wrapping them in a towel. There were grapes, too, among the fruit in a large bowl further down. Their sweetness had her humming and she pilfered them as well, eating just as many as she tucked in with the bread.

The sound of a door opening in the distance had her quickly bundling it all up before spinning around and dashing back into the dining room. Whoever it was, they didn't see her and Mika jogged back out to the corridor, checking it again before moving on. Passing a doorway, she only had to make it to the steps and back up to her room and she would be safe.

"What are you up to?"

“Ah!” Mika almost jumped out of her skin, fumbling the bundle.

Sam caught it with ease. “Damn, that smells good. I should have thought of it.” He lifted one corner of the towel, poking at the grapes before pulling out one of the loaves.

“Hey!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you steal these all for yourself?” he taunted around a bite, chewing with his mouth open.

Mika flushed, caught.

“Come on, let’s share a late dinner.” Sam reached into the bundle to toss her the other loaf. Lifting it, he suddenly froze, eyes going wide before clenching shut.

"Sam?" Mika studied him, concerned.

"It's nothing," he growled the words, gritting his teeth and reaching for his anger to push through the pain in his back.

"It isn't 'nothing," Mika moved closer but he stepped away, or tried to. The motion had him jolting, the color draining from his face.

"Don't!"

"Sam, this is insane." Mika shifted to her mage sight, reaching for her magic and gasped.

"It isn't-" He tried to shake his head and couldn't. He couldn't move, the muscles locking as another spasm ran through them.

Mika could see it. Like the horses, like Erik, she could see his pain, see the bright lightning of it electrifying his body. She reached to touch him and he finally managed to stumble back through the doorway into the war room, grunting as she saw it flash again.

"There's nothing you can do about it!"

"Of course I can do something about it!" She yelled back at him, her own anger rising. "For fuck's sake, Sam. Stand still!"

His ass hit Lilith's table and he saw her eyes shift to bright purple with power, felt her magic rise. Shocked, he watched as her hair lifted in a breeze that didn't exist, the locks twining around themselves. For a moment she looked like...

"Ezaeur?"

Mika’s palm pressed flat against his chest and the purple shifted to white, her gaze going distant as she summoned her healing magic. She ignored his protests, considering.

It was hard to see past the pain. Her power reached for it, gathering it. When she tried to pull, Sam gave an agonized cry that almost made her let go. Instead, she wrapped it in her power, containing it, blocking it, and heard him draw in a deep breath.

The relief was amazing. Sam's knees almost buckled as the pain suddenly stopped. He gripped the edge of the table as Mika blinked and stepped back. The glow of her magic faded from her eyes, once more her gaze focusing on him.

"Erik wasn't kidding about how strong you are," Sam wondered aloud.

"Not as strong as you. Sit down, Sam." She was still studying him.

"I'm okay." He tried to wave it off.

Mika looked back up and to his surprise, cast him an ice-cold glare. "You are not ’okay’. I blocked the pain but it's still there; it will only come back."

"That works for me."

"Not for me. Sit down."

Sam glanced around, his attitude returning. "Sorry, no chairs."

"There's a perfectly good table right behind you," she argued, folding her arms. "I need to have a look at you."

"And what do you think you're going to do?"

"I'm going to help you," Mika met his eyes resolutely. "I won't let you leave."

"You couldn't stop me," he snorted.

"You couldn't stop you, either." She reached out and flicked the dog tags on his chest, ruthlessly reminding him and he flushed.

"So now you're going to guilt trip me?"

"I'm going to do whatever it takes to find out exactly what's wrong with you." Mika's eyes narrowed.

"Heh, if you've got the years to lose while you hear it all." He gave a huff but did hop up to sit on the edge of the table, sneakers dangling.

"Take off your coat, Sam," Mika ordered, turning back into the professional that she was.

"Hey, you're just a vet!" He complained.

"And you're an asshole. I'm no proctologist but I think I can handle this," she snapped and his mouth dropped open in surprise. "Take off the coat and your shirt," she insisted, her eyes shifting back to white, "And drop the magic, it's keeping me from seeing."

"That's the whole point," Sam growled under his breath, but he did pull his coat off, tossing it out of the way.

"Shirt, too."

"I am, I am, Jesus!" He snapped before stubbornly pressing his lips together. He gripped the ragged hem and pulled the fabric up and over his head. Muscles flexed without pain for once and he easily dropped his arms to let the t-shirt slide the rest of the way off. It landed on the floor at Mika's feet and she kicked it aside, stepping closer. Her hand lifted once more to rest on his chest, sensing the scar beneath his glamour.

Sam drew a quick breath, the air rushing between his teeth as he felt her fingertips brush his skin. Her energy rushed to meet him, threatening to choke him, his anger battling with the hunger that threatened.

"Quit it!" He snatched Mika's wrist, holding her at bay.

"You're hurt, badly. Drop the magic and let me help you." Her eyes connected with his, willing him to do it. She wouldn’t let him say no.

Against his better judgment, he let his glamour drop from the waist up. He didn’t need to go any further, wanting at least some privacy between them.

Mika stared as she saw the horns rising from his mussed brown hair. One was snapped off a few inches from the base, the other twisted up and out like a minotaur. They were a deep evergreen, their squared ridges slowly spiraling as the one stretched over a foot from the side of his head.

Surprised, she looked down at the deep green stripes that matched his eyes. They wrapped around his neck, flowed over his shoulders and chest before curving back along the top of his stomach. More stripes peeked from his tan cargoes, running along the V of his hips. She frowned as she saw the pale jagged scar covering his sternum, interrupting the markings. It was old, the tissue tight and pulling at the muscle. She moved to touch him again and Sam let her go, closing his eyes.

He didn't feel more than a mild attraction from her. Mika was interested in his body but not in that way. It had him exhaling in relief, able to block the hunger easier as her fingers prodded the scar. She let loose a little magic to heal it further, releasing the tension and letting him sit up a little straighter.

Suddenly she froze, her eyes white once more, staring at him in shock. "Sam, turn around."

"It... It isn't that bad."

"Turn around, Sam."

Cursing himself, he spun around to sit cross-legged on the warm granite, turning his back to her. He heard the dismayed cry, saw her horror in the mirror on the wall in front of him.

“You wanted to see it.” He clenched his eyes shut and leaned forward, hanging his head. He knew what she saw; he'd seen it in the mirrors of his bedroom.

Mika took an involuntary step back. The wounds were black, raised, and necrotic. Two of them, they ran symmetrical down Sam's shoulder blades. The bright white of bone protruded from places, wearing through the dead tissue. Angry red lines ran from the edges of the black, dual star-bursts of infection and blood poisoning.

The smell hit Mika again, no longer masked by Sam's magic, and she exhaled quickly to push it from her nose, switching to mouth breathing.

"How are you still standing?!" she asked without thinking. Such wounds would have killed any human being. "How long have you been like this?" She tentatively reached, feeling the heat pouring off the feverish tissue.

"Years. But I wasn't aware of it until two weeks ago."

 _Wasn't aware of it?_ "How could you not be aware of it?"

"I - I was asleep,” he grudgingly admitted. “I'm a demon; I can heal."

"You're not healing this."

"It's been holding it back." He shrugged and Mika saw the tissue tearing again, the flare of pain blocked by her magic echoing within her, making her cringe.

"Barely!" she gasped out. “You can’t ignore this.”

“Mika-” Sam growled under his breath.

“Shut up, Sam!” she commanded him, her own anger winning against her pity. It had a thrill running through him as he caught her determined look in the mirror. “Don’t say a word! Not another fucking word or God help you.”

 _They already have,_ he thought as the power of her healing magic flowed into his veins.

*

“I can see what needs to be done, what’s missing, but it just won’t heal completely.” Mika shook her head, frustrated. Her magic was almost tapped, she’d spent who knew how long slowly burning out the infection, knitting the muscle, regenerating the tissue.

No longer black, the broad stretch of Sam’s shoulders were now smooth and flat, though she could see the severed bone and muscle within. She knew what had been there; she could see the musculoskeletal system leading up to them, her love of birds making them easily recognizable.

 _Sam had wings. Or rather, he used to have wings._ She hadn’t seen them on James or Erik.

“Hey, you tried.” He grit his teeth as she ran her hands over his back, releasing the pain block.

“It still hurts,” she observed as she walked around the table to face him. She could see how hard his jaw was clenched, his eyes clamped shut. He sat rigid, tension locking his muscles as hard as the stone beneath him.

“No, it isn’t that.” He wouldn’t look at her. “It’s fine. You did what you could.”

Mika frowned, frustrated, summoning her magic one last time. She should have been exhausted but instead, her anxiety was ramping up again. She could feel that something was wrong, that his body wanted to finish healing but it was holding back.

 _He’s barely running on reserves!_ she realized as she finally checked his metabolics. _He’s stronger than a draft horse and yet weak on such a basic level._ She could see his body shaking, not from pain but from deficiency.

“I don’t understand it. You’ve eaten, you’ve slept.” He’d wolfed the food she’d pilfered. Mika reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder and he gave a quick inhale as if it burned, pulling away.

“Sam?” She studied him, concerned. _I’m only making it worse. How?_

“You’re forgetting; I’m a demon,” his voice was a low growl. He clenched his fists on his knees.

“A brute demon, like your father.” He’d told her what happened, how he’d fought his father, who gave him the wounds in a war, as she worked to heal them. How it had taken James to defeat the old Demon Lord, his eldest brother ascending to the throne.

“Only half,” he grit the words out. _Don’t._ “Just leave it.” Sam slid away from her, dropping his legs off the edge of the table, gripping it, white-knuckled.

“I can’t. I can’t leave you like this.” Mika refused to even think it.

“I’m half incubus! Remember?!” Sam barked the words at her.

“Incubus…” She’d forgotten. Mika stood up straight, dispelling her magic as she looked at him in surprise.

“Yeah.” His eyes rolled to meet hers. Gold crackled in the green irises and Mika felt a thrill run through her body.

She took a step back. “You live off of-”

“Not in a long time,” Sam admitted. “And I’m not going there.”

“An incubus.” _A demon that feeds off of sexual energy._ She remembered the explanation the boys had first given her, shown through Sam’s tags. Pleasure, joy, happiness, along with lust and desire, could feed them.

Mika blinked, her breathing increasing with her pulse. _Focus, Anderson,_ she chided herself. She looked him over once more, well muscled, but it didn’t do it. Instead, she let her mind wander to their conversation in the dining room and how he made her laugh, how they teased each other. She imagined him holding her close, like when he comforted her. 

Sam closed his eyes, her energy tantalizing him again, and she reached for his hand.

“Stop!” Sam grabbed her wrist, keeping her from touching him again. With their current feelings, even that contact sparked between them, the gold flaring in his eyes as he glared.

Mika didn’t try to pull away from him, fascinated as a thrill rushed through her. “It makes sense now.”

“What makes sense?”

“Why you’ve been avoiding me; why you kept trying to pick fights with me. It wasn’t just that you were mad at me or feeling guilty. You don’t want to be near me, you don’t want my energy. Sam, you can’t keep doing this!”

“If you’re telling me to…” His growl picked up where the words dropped. Matthew’s name was branded on Mika but Sam knew the truth. She was Damien’s.

“No fucking way.” He jumped from the table, storming past her.

“Sam,” Mika stopped. _What am I telling him to do? His brothers…_ She remembered the evenings with James, Matthew, Damien. All incubi, things were starting to click. “Sam, you need-”

“I know what I need!” He turned back to her. “And it’s not you. You’re not some guy’s meal.”

 _But I am powerful,_ Erik had told her. Mika could feel it every time she tried her magic. “No, I’m not.” She moved closer to him. “I know you don’t think of me like that.”

“You don’t think of me like _that,_ either,” he pointed out, ignoring the painful lurch in his heart and her flinch as she understood his words.

“I can’t,” Mika admitted. “After Andrew... Please, Sam. I don’t know if I ever can, but I know you’re a friend and I want to help you.”

He wavered, drawn to comfort her and yet not trusting himself near her. “Do you have any idea what you’re offering?” He stood at arm’s length, pushing his bangs back from his forehead. “I’m a demon, a brute,”

“And I’m a human.” Mika stepped closer, without fear. “You’re starving. And you saved me.”

“This isn’t about owing me,” Sam growled, but his eyes roamed over her face, her lips, his cheeks bright pink. Mika blushed, a shudder running down her back.

“No,” she admitted. “It’s about helping a friend and becoming closer to you.” Just as she felt about Matthew.

“If we do this, we’re doing it. No stopping once we start.” It was his last effort to scare her away. “You’d be bedding a demon, a monster.”

Sam’s appearance wavered as he dropped his entire glamour. Mika blinked, her breath catching as she looked at him. His rugged body was naked, striped, large and rampant with want; his green eyes pulsed with gold, boring into hers.

 _A demon. An incubus. A brute._ Her stomach tightened, desire coiling even though he hadn’t captured her with his enthrallment, yet.

“I won’t go easy on you.” Sam held himself still, every line of him a predator waiting to chase her and run her to the ground.  
  
_He won’t hurt me._ She knew it. He was just trying to scare her.

“We’re doing it.” Mika quickly stepped up, one hand sliding up the back of his head and into his hair to pull him down to kiss her.

She set the beast free.

Sam’s hands grabbed her ass, pulling her up against him as his mouth roughly claimed hers. Mika leaned into him willingly and he scooped her up, setting her on the edge of the table, bringing her eye-to-eye with him. He nipped her lip, his tongue delving into her mouth as she gasped, and stole her breath away.

His hands brushed her chest, running down her sides to grab her sweater. He broke their kiss only long enough to yank it over her head, dropping it on the ground as he studied her face. Mika was flushed, licking her swollen lips as she panted. Seeing him pause, she didn’t hesitate, reaching for him as he filled her body with golden fire.

Her mind blanked and she fought to hold onto it as she heard the tearing of fabric, feeling her chemise ripped away. Sam leaned forward, his mouth moving down her neck, grazing her skin with his teeth.

His hands found her breasts, pushing them up, his thumbs sliding under her bra. Mika felt the band break, dropping open to reveal the creamy skin beneath, the lace joining her sweater on the floor. His thumbs brushed the rosy tips and she moaned, feeling them tighten, hearing Sam growl low in his throat.

His arm circled the small of her back as she gripped his biceps, lifting her up against him as if she weighed nothing, his mouth feasting hungrily on her breasts. Mika cried out, feeling the rush, her body already trembling from his enthrallment. Her belly tightened, pure lust flooding through her. She wanted him, she wanted him so badly it hurt.

_I want to…_

Mika’s eyes flew open as she realized she could feel what Sam was feeling. Her magic was flowing through him, connecting them. Her eyes swirled golden and white as she clutched his shoulders, wrapping her legs around his waist, shamelessly rubbing against him.

Sam reached back and yanked her shoes off, his hands running up and down her legs. He was unbuttoning her jeans as she gasped, tugging them off to join the rest of her clothes. Mika couldn’t pull him back into the circle of her arms fast enough, kissing him again, sliding her tongue into his mouth.

His growl shifted to a purr and he drank the energy she offered, tasting her sweetness, wanting more. He wanted to hear her cry out, feel her body clench around him. He rubbed against her, feeling how wet she was. She wasn’t an innocent but he couldn’t rush it.

Panting with her, he reached down between them. A finger slid in, his eyes watching her mouth as she cried out for him, her own gaze golden. She gripped his arms, hanging on to him as his fingers teased her, his thumb circling. They slid in and out, one becoming two, becoming three, as he stretched her. Mika rode his hand, the pleasure coming off of her in waves.

Sam’s concentration was intense, even as he pulled at her energy, wanting more. His eyes bore down on her body as she writhed. He wanted to feel it. He wanted to feel her release as he watched it and tasted it on the air.

“Sam!” Mika cried out, her body bucking, her head thrown back as her muscles suddenly clenched, her body drenching him before shattering into spasms.

“More.” He growled, pulling her up off the table and spinning to hold her against the wall, facing him. He lifted her as he dropped to his knees, putting her up on his shoulders to pin her, guiding her hands to his horn and the broken remains of the other. “Hold on,” he warned as he looked up at her.

Her head still spinning, Mika gripped the hard, ridged horns at their base. Their connection let her feel the pleasure it gave him, his breath hot on her as he moaned and leaned forward to taste her body. His tongue slid over her and she leaned back against the cool wooden paneling, her hips tilting for him.

“More,” She gasped the word this time. Her hand slid up his intact horn, making him inhale sharply at the pleasure. His fingers dug into her thighs and he pushed her legs up and further apart.

Sam’s tongue circled and flicked, making her moan, her body ramping up again. The coil of desire twisted tighter within her, his senses picking up just how close she was to the edge, his body screaming to take her. He pulled back a little, his fingers finding her once more, toying with her to keep her on the edge.

Mika couldn’t catch her breath. As her hands moved over his horns, so did his fingers move inside of her, keeping her pace. He sucked at her intimately and she almost lost it, crying his name. Sweat rose on her skin, she couldn’t keep her eyes open. He was overwhelming her, his fingers stretching her, the sweet friction…

The pressure was building for them both.

Suddenly Sam’s hand left her. He stood, easily catching her in his arms and spinning her around to face away from him. He drew her back up against him, moving to lean back against the edge of the table, facing the mirror. Mika managed to crack her eyes open, seeing their reflection as Sam drew one of her legs up, positioning himself as he held her wide open.

“Watch,” he growled in her ear from behind, before nuzzling the side of her neck, his eyes meeting hers in the mirror. Golden lust burned between them. His body shimmered in the firelight, coated in sweat just as hers was, his muscles tense. He was hard and huge and ready for her.

“Sam…” Wrapped up in a haze of desire, she reached up to grip his horn once more, steeling herself as he pressed against her.

“Mika,” he whispered her name in her ear, both watching as he slowly pushed into her. Mika gasped, her body stretching and he forced himself to keep control, carefully pulling back before pushing in further, giving her time to adjust. His hands returned to her breasts, kneading them as he held her against him and leaned back. Again and again, he slowly went deeper as her body accepted him, as she clenched him and moaned, moving with him as they both watched in the mirror.

Mika lost herself in the feeling as Sam claimed her body. His lips brushed the back of her neck with kisses, his hips rocking to increase the delicious friction and help her accommodate him. It was too hot, pushing her perilously close to the edge. She tried to hold on but her hips moved of their own volition, echoing his own.

One last thrust and she took him completely, shattering as he buried himself inside her. She plunged over the edge, hitching in his arms with a loud cry as her release hit.

Pausing, Sam enjoyed it, feasting on her energy as it poured over him. One hand slid down to tease and extend her pleasure as he hummed in her ear. “We’re only starting,” he chuckled and she shivered, pleasure coursing through her, her body clenching him tightly before dropping bonelessly back against him.

“How quiet can you be or do you want to wake the whole castle?” the incubus teased, pulling out and away from her. She didn’t think she’d ever catch her breath, the room spinning as he lifted her into his arms once more, the scent of their musk filling her nose.

“More,” Sam’s deep voice rumbled as he laid her on the table and slowly crawled over her. He was invigorated, the pain far from his mind as Mika’s energy filled him, driving him on.

She arched up to kiss him, her nipples brushing the hard planes of his chest, her legs lifting to circle his waist. She could taste herself on his tongue as it brushed hers.

“Sam," Mika gasped, breaking off their kiss as he plunged back into her. Her hands gripped his sides, his flat on the table on either side of her. She turned her cheek to the stone and he leaned down to kiss her jaw, to suck at her neck. Her cheek nudged his hair and he returned his kisses to her lips.

“More,” she whispered between them and with his own moan, Sam finally let himself go and took her.

It was rough and deep and hard. An incubus taking and feasting.

Mika’s fingers ran over Sam’s back, her energy rushing into him, her magic triggering itself. Part of her mind pulled away from the pleasure, the pure, fierce delight she felt from him as he drove into her. She arched back, lifting her hips up to meet Sam stroke for stroke, her head pressing against the side of his as instincts took over.

He clenched his eyes shut, feeling how good it was to move with her, deep inside her. Mika was tightening, her body flying for the edge with him again, making him feel so alive. It was a rush he’d never known before.

Sam felt her hands on his back, sliding over it. It no longer hurt; he was too overwhelmed with her, with the pleasure they were sharing. She balanced on the precipice, begging him to come with her.

Magic suddenly flooded Sam, along with Mika’s energy, as the world exploded for her. His eyes flew open to see her crying out beneath him. Golden sparks flew as his enthrallment hit the pinnacle with them, chaining him to her, binding them together. His body filled with white light and he roared as he thrust deep and held, pumping into her.

Through the blazing luminescence of Mika’s healing, Sam felt the flare, the stretch, the snap. His wings spread wide open above them, whole, intact once more, flames erupting around them.

The roar of the Dragon Lord sounded again, echoing through the castle for all to hear.

Erik heard it, just as he’d heard the call of Mika’s energy and magic waking him and drawing him to where she lay on the ancient slab. His eyes were wide as he watched them from the shadows beyond the doorway, his face pale. He saw the two lovers drop, Sam lying half atop Mika, his head cushioned on her breast. His brother held her tightly, blinking back tears as Mika weakly hugged him, murmuring Sam’s name once more before passing out.

Eyes opened, green meeting lavender. Sam saw his brother watching them and held his gaze, unrepentant.

Erik turned away, walking back into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit:  
> Changed the way you kissed me - Example  
> https://youtu.be/CLXt3yh2g0s


	27. These are the days we won't regret.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some choices you never regret.

 

Erik stood outside of Mika's room, leaning against the door frame. He wouldn't move any closer to her. His appetite had finally calmed, his body glutted with sexual energy. Her energy was almost quiet to his senses after all she'd given Sam. Still, he refused to push it.

"How is she?" he finally called, breaking the silence.

Sam turned from the woman on the bed beside him to look his brother up and down. Back in his glamour, he was laying on top of the blankets and had dozed most of the day away himself after carrying Mika up here and tucking her in. He rose and stretched his healed muscles, silently thanking her once more, before joining his brother.

"Still sleeping it off; she used a lot of magic," the brute admitted with a frown.

"I know. The entire castle felt it," Erik pointed out sarcastically but his brother refused to take the bait.

"She shouldn't have that much, should she? Harold was strong, but-" Sam shook his head. He hadn't expected the amount of energy or magical power they'd experienced.

"Sam-"

"I mean, how can a human have this much? She shouldn't have been able to heal me. Not when teams of healers couldn't! It's like she's getting stronger, too. Her energy comes back a lot quicker than it did before."

"Sam-"

"You know what's up, don't you?" He pushed Erik back out the door and carefully closed it, stepping out into the hallway.  
  
"I don't." But Erik recognized the effect Mika was having on his brother, recognized the signs. Sam was protecting her, staying guard over her. His brother knew something was wrong.

"Bullshit!" The brute almost lunged for him but pulled himself back at the last minute. "Sorry."

"No. You're right to want to protect her from me," Erik admitted. "I don't want to hurt her."

"What do you mean 'hurt her?" Sam's eyes narrowed.

 _Tiffy._ Erik looked away in shame, a cold shiver down his back. The alcove was just behind him.

The maid hadn't survived.

He couldn't have said how it happened. He had never taken a life in such a way and it shook Erik to the core. Last he had seen her, Tiffy was exhausted. She'd had a good dinner with his other servants after he let her sleep the afternoon away in one of his rooms. Last night, he had made sure to tuck her into bed in the servant's wing himself, with a thank you and a kiss before returning to his bed for more.

But when he went back to check on her this morning, the other maids eyed him warily, whispering among themselves. Tiffy wasn't in her bed or anywhere. Finally, the head housemaid appeared, pulling him aside.

"She's gone, my Lord." The woman grimly informed him.

"Gone? She left?" Erik was surprised. She'd wanted to be with him, hadn't she? She was the one who offered to him.

"The dawn took her, my Lord," the maid explained.

"The dawn?" _Tiffy died?!_

"We know she was with you, my Lord. Please, don't take any more of the girls."

"I... I didn't. She was tired but fine! I've never... "

"If your tastes have changed, we can arrange for slaves such as your father had," the dour demoness continued.

"No!" Erik stared at her, horrified. "Why would I?!"

"My Lord-"

"No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt her! Please, see that her family is well cared for."

"Of course, my Lord."

But Erik was already hurrying from the servant's wing. He saw them watching him, gossiping among themselves everywhere he turned.

 _Mika. I almost took Mika._ The thought froze him to the core.

"Erik?" Sam's voice brought him back to the present. "Why would you think you'd hurt her?"

The incubus shook his head, distracted, mumbling. "I, I would never..."

"You aren't acting the same, either." Sam pointed out.

"I...A lot has changed, Aomaris."

"I know. You're a lot stronger, too." The brute studied him and he blanched.

"You say that as if you aren't," Erik pushed back. "And even so, that didn't keep you from..."

"From?" Sam raised a brow.

"From her." Erik sadly met his eyes. "You think this isn't going to hurt her? That her life isn't twenty times more complicated now?"

"Why would it hurt her? We agreed going in: a one-night stand. That's it, end of story."

"And that makes it alright? I told you what Raestrao did to her. You brought her here, reeking of Zecaeru. Now whose name is on her?"

"What business is it of yours? She's fine!" The brute snapped.

"The girl was an innocent when we first met her! She should be leading a normal human life."

"Wait...You want her to be a normal human again? You want to take her magic and memories, _again_? You want her to forget us, **_again_**?!" Sam hissed fiercely, not wanting to wake the girl in question beyond the door. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Maybe! Maybe it would be for the best. Have you thought about that? That maybe it's better she doesn't know us?" Erik gestured at the door. "Or is this her life now? Bed to bed to bed? From one brother to the next?"

"That isn't 'her life' and you know it. And it isn't better that she doesn't know us! And since when has the idea of sex upset you?" Sam folded his arms, letting his anger build. "Her sex life is her own business, she makes up her own mind." And he would never regret it.

"Really? How much choice in the matter did she really have last night?"

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Sam growled, so angry his eyes flared bright green.

"I'm not saying you forced her! Just, listen. Andrew's only been dead a few weeks. Her world is upside down. Just how straight do you think she's thinking?"

"She's got a lot better grip than you right now." Sam took a deep breath, forcing himself to choke down his anger. This wasn't just about Mika and him. Damien was the jealous one of his brothers; a reunion Sam wasn't looking forward to. But Erik? Things were never as they appeared with this brother. "So, what happened?"

"What do you mean-" The sudden shift in Sam's anger took the incubus off guard.

"What happened that has you completely backing away from Mika? This isn't about me and her." Sam knew it. Their night together wasn't the problem; Mika did it to help him, to heal him and it would never happen again.

Erik faltered, his eloquence failing him as he tried to find the words. Sam wasn't about to let him off the hook. "The maid," he finally admitted, shoving his bangs out of his eyes.

"The one we caught you with yesterday?" Sam gave a chuckle. "Yeah, Mika saw it all. Don't worry, she was surprised but got past her shyness real quick. She knows what we are."

"She knows- You told her? All of it?!" Erik's voice cracked, his cheeks flushing in shame.

"You should have told her. It should have come from you or James or Matthew. I wouldn't expect Damien to tell her." Sam knew his brother hated being a demon. Damien wanted to hide among the humans forever, wishing he could be one.

"Sam, I..."

"I didn't just tell her, I showed her the time we first met her," the brute plucked at his dog tags. "She should have those memories back. It was wrong of Diana to take them from her.”

"You showed her when I kissed her??"

"Yeah. She was surprised, but I also showed her..." Sam's voice trailed off as he looked down at his battered gym shoes.

"Andrew?" Erik asked quietly. Sam had his own shame but his brother wasn't running from it or hiding. _Unlike me._ Once more his brother out-shined them all.

"Yeah." Sam clutched the dog tags around his neck. "She knew it was an accident. We're good, Uzaeris. You need to talk to her."

"The maid died," Erik just blurted it out.

"The cat girl?!" Sam looked how he had felt when he first heard the news.

"Yes," he answered wretchedly.

The brute was quiet for a moment. "You didn't do it."

"You don't know that, Sam."

"Yes, I do. You're a player, not a killer. You've had more lovers than subjects in your kingdom."

Erik flushed, bitterly looking away.

"I'm not talking about that time in your life. You didn't only save Ezaeur when you brought her back here."

"I don't-"

"Even then, you flayed your enemies with that sharp tongue of yours, you never hurt anyone. You only resort to violence in self-defense and your magic is not subtle," Sam pressed.

"I may have lost control, Sam. The hunger was so strong."

"Wait a minute. You've been with Mika almost a week. I've seen you two together and you haven’t lost it."

"We haven't..."

"No, but you've been skimming, just like I have. Siphoning energy here and there. There is no way you could be that weak."

"You forget. You embraced your brute half, while I," Erik flicked his eyes back to catch Sam's. "I embraced the incubus. More than that, you became the Dragon Lord and I became the Lord of Lilith.”

“So?”

“Ezaeur left me everything when she left." Erik dropped his glamour and shook his bangs back from his eyes. The flare of gold was bright, strong. The flare of the red leathery wings from Erik’s back was even stronger to show what he meant. "She made me a full incubus, one of the Blood with all of its hunger. Her magic joined my magic, Sam."

"Shit." Sam stared at him. Erik was powerful in his own right but Ezaeur had been the most powerful demon on the Plains. A direct descendant of Lilith's bloodline. Even the rebels had been nervous about her, thinking she had too much power. To combine the two... _What was she thinking?_

"What the fuck is going on with us? James has practically taken over the Plains as Demon Lord, I've got a dragon crammed in me, and now you're saying you're not just the Lord of Lilith, you were granted her lineage?"

"And the Heir to one of the strongest warlocks in the Prime Plain is beyond that door." Erik unsummoned his wings. The only other brother than Sam to have them, it felt weird, like he was a fraud. He reverted back to his usual self before resuming his glamour.

"If you tell me Matthew with his conjuring power is some kind of God of the pocket monsters, I'm outta here," Sam grimaced.

"No, he's just our brother," Erik chuckled.

"Damien?"

"You know as well as I that he is different."

"God, this family's fucked up. The day I envy Matthew..." Sam gave a snort.

"You wouldn't be the only one," Erik admitted quietly.

"You didn't kill that girl," Sam refused to consider it and refused to let his brother think it. "There is no way, ever, you could convince me."

"Keep Mika safe," was the only answer Erik gave as he walked away.

*

Mika rolled over in her sleep once more, gravitating towards the other body in her bed and its welcoming warmth. She couldn't quite cuddle right, the blankets knotted up with her pajamas between them and she frowned, scooting as close as she could, one hand snaking out of the covers to hug and pull herself against him. The feel of the rock-hard abs had one eye popping open, her mind realizing that it was different from any other morning in her life.

"'Morning," Sam greeted her and Mika looked up to find him on top of the blankets, leaning back on a couple pillows. He looked down at her with amusement as she snuggled against him, waiting as the memory of what they'd done returned. He'd never admit he was holding his breath but Mika's arm around him had her noticing right away.

She forced herself to relax and gave him a sleepy smile back. "Is it just me or is there a dragon in my bed and he's happy to see me?"

Sam broke into laughter and Mika grinned as she felt it. Her message was clear. _Everything’s okay; we’re good._ She gave him a brief hug before sitting up and shoving her hair out of her eyes, swaying a little.

"How you feelin'?" He watched her cautiously.

"Hmm…bathroom. Excuse me!" She was out the bed and through the door like a shot, stepping back into the room minutes later.

Sam was still lying on the bed. "Better?" he chuckled.

"Still tired." She refused to crawl back into bed, instead taking stock of herself. "Good," she admitted then stopped, realizing it was morning out the windows. "Really good for so little sleep."

"Heh. If you want to sleep another day away, the bed's still here."

"Another day?" She looked back outside. She’d slept a day away? _Magic is not as easy as I thought._

"Yup, I wore you out." He gave a cheeky grin and Mika snatched up a pillow, throwing it at his face.

"And who was loud enough to wake the whole castle?" she teased back.

"What can I say? It was _magical,_ " Sam admitted slyly, tossing the pillow back at her.

"Ugh..." Mika groaned at the pun. "Don't even, it's too early."

She glanced towards the closed door and the castle beyond it, her own sly smile blooming. "So, have we been incu-busted for sex on Erik's antique furniture?"

Sam groaned back at her. "I thought you said it was too early."

"It just _came_ out of nowhere."

"Mika," he fell back on the pillows.

"What, has the table turned?" Her grin widened, completely unrepentant.

"Oh God..." Sam ran a hand down his face as she chuckled and pulled fresh clothes from her wardrobe.

"Sorry, I'm just winging it." Mika shrugged, feigning innocence. "I didn't mean to make it a punishment." Even she couldn't keep a straight face with that one.

"Stop! Okay, you win!" He laughed and got up as well.

"Alright, show me the wings and I'll grab a shower before breakfast, no more puns." She finally had mercy on him.

"Fine." Sam rolled his eyes but he proudly dropped his glamour down to his waist, summoning and flaring his wings out for her to see. They looked leathery but were soft, green to match his stripes and almost as tall as the top of his head stretching down to his knees.

"Looking good," Mika nodded. _I did it, he’s okay._ She brushed her hand lightly over their smooth surface, watching them twitch and checking with her magic as well as with sight and touch. _More like a bat than a bird,_ she mused at their structure, _and beautiful_. They still felt a little sensitive but the muscles were intact, the bones pure as if they’d never been broken. The only signs remaining from the fight with his father were the faint scar on his chest and his broken horn.

"Thanks," Sam looked over his shoulder at her, earnest. "I mean it. Thank you for healing me."

"That's what friends are for, Sam." She stepped around and hugged him.

*

"We're going home, Izroul. Uzaeris will help you," James murmured, carefully gathering the unconscious demon in a blanket and picking him up.

Damien was pale, his breathing shallow. James knew it had been as difficult for his brother to hear his thoughts and words as it was for him to speak them. He, himself, almost broke when he admitted what he'd done to Mika. Not only from the horrendous act but the sheer hate in his brother's eyes.

_He and Uzaeris will have at least one thing in common, then._

Taking a deep breath, James mentally searched for the gate he could sense lingering on the edge of his perception. He took one last look around the room, glancing out the window at the Anderson mansion. Matthew's car was already pulling out of the driveway to speed away down the street, his brother charging into battle. But James, he slowed. He felt the human world one last time: its quiet gentleness, the sanctuary he so longed for and would never know again, the dream he would never have.

One last time, he let his thoughts drift…

"Here," Mika held out a tall glass of iced tea as James looked up. He'd been reading on the back porch swing again, relaxing in the late-afternoon sun. Barefoot in cut-offs and a casual summer blouse, she waited for him to try it, his ring around her finger. He drank in the sight of her along with the tea.

"Delicious," he admitted and was rewarded with her sunny smile. James patted the bench beside him, his feet bracing to hold the swing steady for her to sit. Instead, Mika took his glass back, took his book, and placed both on the railing beside them. She suddenly cringed and he chuckled. "Don't worry, I can find my place again."

"I hope you do, James." Mika looked back at him with a rueful smile that turned loving as he met her eyes. "Because, you know, your place is right here with me."

James' brows rose behind his glasses as Mika moved to the swing, resting her hands on the back of it to either side of him and kneeling on it, straddling his hips and sitting on his lap. He met her eyes with heavy lids, his hands gripping her waist, pulling her closer. "I never want to leave," he breathed and she kissed him.

Swinging slowly as they rocked against each other, James' hands slid up under her blouse, pleasantly surprised to find she wasn't wearing a bra. Mika giggled and broke their kiss to slap at him. "No tickling!"

"I would never," he smiled and wiggled his fingers up and down over her ribs, making her squirm on his lap.

"James!" she chided with laughter, grabbing his forearms to push his hands away. "Be good."

"I try," he sighed, behaving, and she stopped struggling.

With a hum, she sank down on his lap, gently pulling his glasses off and leaning in for a deeper kiss as his hands roamed over her soft curves, teasing the peaking buds beneath the fabric. The bench swung beneath them as their bodies moved against one another. Aroused, tongues delved and Mika buried her hands in James' hair.

"Don't try," she gasped against his mouth, "Do it."

He moaned, letting her steal his breath and using his magic to dismiss his glamor and leave her wearing only her shirt and nothing else. James' body founds hers and swinging forward once more, he slid in, her body answering as he rocked back and she swung at him.

It was a patient, languid pace. Hands traced curves and ridges, squeezing and rubbing. The breeze kissed their skin as their mouths remained locked, sharing breath and life, pleasure and love.

James was drowning in Mika, losing himself. He could feel her control slipping and increased his own over her, opening his eyes to capture hers in gold.

A Sunday afternoon seduction, he consumed her energy slowly, keeping her on the edge atop him, drawing her into an encompassing ecstasy. She clutched his horns as he lifted her blouse, his lips sucking the rosy peaks until he felt her shatter around him. Mika's soft cry blended with the music of the windchimes hanging in the garden. She stilled, her hands sliding from his horns.

"Love," James used the endearment as he gripped her hips and let himself go.

They stayed in their embrace, floating down from the heights. Mika ran her fingers through his hair only to suddenly cry out in pain.

"Mika?" James stared as she awkwardly scrambled back, off and away from him, her steps making the porch creak. She was holding...

_No._

Blood dripped onto the wooden floorboards. Long, sharp gold thorns were growing from his crown to pierce her palms. They stabbed into her fingers as they grew and wrapped around her hands, binding her to the gold circlet. Mika dropped to her knees, sobbing at the pain and James dropped to kneel before her.

"Love, no!" He didn't know what to do.

"It hurts.” She held the crown out to him, beseeching him. The gold wound up her wrists and wrapped tighter, stabbing deeper with each second he hesitated. "Please!"

James couldn't escape it. He put his hands over hers, feeling the metal warp and twist, seeking him instead. The moment it was loose enough, Mika pulled away and stumbled back, bloody handprints smearing over the porch.

James clenched his jaw and placed the crown back upon his head, feeling the metal stab and bury itself deep in him once more. He looked up, blood trickling from his forehead and met her fearful eyes.

"I knew a James, once," Mika whispered sadly. She turned and ran from him.

"So did I," Raestrao blinked. He pulled himself from the corrupted dream back to the bedroom, his brother unconscious in his arms, and dropped his glamour.

 _They were right. The Demon Lord does not belong here,_ he admitted to himself. There was a kingdom waiting, a throne beside his that would remain empty. The cold filled his heart once more as he summoned the portal to return to his castle. From there, they would teleport to Lilith and find Uzaeris. He would not let his pride take this brother from him.

 _And once Izroul is healed, I will find who took Mika. Find them and rip them apart._ Raestrao's eyes flared gold with his vow.

The worlds shifted with his steps, the Demon Lord returning to the Abyssal Plains.

*

"Better," Sam admitted, rewarded with Mika's bright smile. “Keep going.”

After sleeping away an entire day, she woke fresh and famished and not a stitch repentant. She ducked under his strike, catching his wrist and stepping back in an attempt to pull him off balance. Their gym shoes squeaked on the ballroom parquet. Sam turned the motion into almost a dance, following the momentum and circling around behind her to catch her in a hold.

"You'll have to do better than this," she taunted back over her shoulder at him, suddenly dropping down through the circle of his arms and rolling away, giving his legs a sweep for good measure.

Beyond the obvious good their one-night stand had given Sam, Mika also no longer felt body shy around the demon. Stripped down to sports bra and sweatpants, their sparring had them slick with sweat and in positions that would have been awkward before but now just made her laugh.

"Princess!" Erik tossed a ball of ethereal energy at her, pleased to see it hit the shield she summoned to block it. Strangely the combination of physical sparring with the magical helped her grasp it faster. He threw another, this time without the warning, as Sam dove for her.

Mika side-stepped Sam's attack, blocking him; but instead of shielding, she caught Erik's ball of energy and wheeled her arm around, throwing it right back at him.

"Whoa," Sam pulled up short as he saw his surprised brother shield against what was now Mika's attack. "Did you just-?"

"What?" She stood up from her stance, confused as the brothers stared at her.

"Do it again." Sam motioned for Erik to attack her once more and Mika caught it again, this time throwing it straight up and letting it disperse in a crackle of ethereal energy over their heads.

"You shouldn't be able to do that," Sam marveled as she gave him a quizzical look. Mika glanced at Erik who silently nodded in agreement with his brother.

While the air was clear between her and Sam, Mika definitely felt how opaque it was between her and the Lord of Lilith Castle. Erik didn't move any closer, hanging back from them in the room and folding his arms more often than not, obviously uncomfortable. Once again he was only talking magic when he absolutely had to talk to her, Sam practically dragging him into the ballroom to try this training approach with her.

Honestly, it was hard for her to see him and not think of the incubus feeding in the alcove outside her door. Now that she'd been with Sam, she knew what it was like and while it improved her comfort level with the brute, it made her anxious around Erik. As she’d wondered with James, she couldn't help but think of the body under those well-tailored clothes, the stripes that had moved almost hypnotically. She was having a hard time getting it out of her head, her heart pounding every time she thought about it. Her reactions made her glad he wouldn't meet her eyes, she suspected he sensed her attraction. Sam could.

Erik's flirts were a total turn-off before but now? Knowing his incubus nature, seeing that kiss between them, seeing the different sides of him as he taught her magic? Mika wasn't so sure. _Hot for teacher?_ She wondered to herself. There was always a part of him that Erik held back from her. _A desire for the mysterious?_ Players never interested her but something about him had her wanting to get closer, needing to.

Erik gave her a startled look and Mika cursed herself. She tried to focus on her training but her eyes studied him from beneath her lashes as they sparred. _Just what is it about him now?_

She dodged one blast and knocked another away as she tried to stay out of Sam's reach. In real combat, she'd catch and throw the magic attacks at Sam. He was the most immediate threat and if she knocked him out of the fight first, she could turn her full attention to Erik. She also knew Sam didn’t have the magic to make a shield.

"Quit holding back!" It was like Sam could read her thoughts. He caught her and threw her. Mika hit the ground, her breath knocked out of her when a loud chime rang throughout the castle.

Erik's head jerked up at the tone and met Sam's eyes. "A visitor," he frowned.

Sam reached down and clasped wrists with Mika, pulling her back up to her feet. "Who?" she asked, worried, but Erik shook his head. He took a few steps towards the door, then paused to look back.

"We'll stay out of view," Sam agreed with his brother's unspoken request, answering aloud for Mika’s sake.

"My Lord? Your brother is here to see you." Shadow stepped out of nowhere, bowing low. His eyes cast around the room, taking in Sam before catching sight of Mika.

_Brother?_

**_Uzaeris._ ** The summons caught Erik off-guard. "James," he whispered, turning back to Sam. Mika blinked at the emotion in the incubus’ eyes before he disappeared with a flash.

“Shit.” And the vehemence in Sam’s voice. "Where are they?" he demanded of the shadow demon, stepping up and breaking Shadow’s line of sight to Mika. It was a physical relief as the black eyes shifted away.

“Why, in the throne room of course,” the adviser answered as if the question were ridiculous.

“Come on,” Sam reached for Mika. “We’re not leaving them alone.”

*

The throne room of Lilith castle was ornate and empty; the chair itself on a raised dais. The vaulted ceiling stretched above Raestrao, the tall windows letting in the afternoon sunshine. It had been a long time since he’d last been here, once more everything had changed. The marble floor was cold beneath his feet.

 _Uzaeris didn’t think to keep me out?_ He’d felt the wards as he teleported in, his brother’s defensive magic protecting the castle. He’d expected a crowded throne room, decadence, and waste, the depravity of the Lord of Lilith’s subjects. Slaves and worse.

Not what felt like a silent tomb.

 _Is he even here at all?_ He’d banished his brother from the Prime Plain, from Mika’s home, sending him back here. Surely the incubus would have returned to his lair and his pleasures?

 _He will not be able to approach Mika and I neither desire nor require him to. I only need him to heal Izroul._ Raestrao latched onto his focus.

Damien felt weak in his arms, his energy low. _His energy is always so low, the mark of a slave._ It fueled Raestrao’s anger further.

He hated this Kingdom: the seat of the first Queen and now the haven of the worst of the Plains. It sickened him that those he fought so hard against found shelter and prosperity in Lilith’s Domain. Only the fact that the incubus was his brother kept him from razing it all, purging the poison and bringing freedom under his rule. That they now came as supplicants, his brother an ex-slave needing Uzaeris’ magic, was the worst.

 _Will he even help us?_ A wave of shame broke through his defenses. He knew that even with no love for him, the incubus would aid their youngest brother. Damien was innocent of all that had occurred between them.

_He will help you, even if I have to command him to do so._

“Uzaeris,” Raestrao called out into the room, summoning his brother. He would wait no longer; he would have his audience.

The flash was bright, the incubus answering. Uzaeris appeared, still cloaked in his glamour from the human world. “Raestrao?” His brother was hesitant, surprised when he saw the Demon Lord was carrying someone. “Who?”

“Izroul. He needs healing.” He would not ask, he would not beg. His pride and anger fought fiercely against his control. Seeing the incubus as “Erik” only made it worse.

Erik could see the anger in his brother’s eyes but wouldn’t linger on it. They were under a kind of truce; Damien came first. He would face Raestrao’s wrath later.

“Let me see.” Uzaeris stepped up to pull the blankets from Damien’s face, his mage sight already telling him it was exhaustion that had his brother unconscious. There was pain and as he traced it, his concern grew. Mika only just recovered from Sam, but he would need her help as well.

“I’ll take him to one of the guest suites and summon you once he’s recovered.” He didn’t want Raestrao to wait or linger and to his surprise, his brother didn’t argue. Instead, Raestrao gave a brisk nod and allowed him to carry Izroul.

“Damien?!” The name echoed throughout the chamber, followed by running steps.

“Mika?” Raestrao would have dropped his injured brother if Uzaeris hadn’t taken him. She ran to them, worried, already reaching with her own magic. _She’s here?_ He couldn’t believe it. _Uzaeris was keeping her?!_ He was neither in his glamour nor had the time to summon it when he saw who was entering behind her.

 _ **“AOMARIS?!”**_ It knocked the breath out of him, his face going pale.

“Yeah. Thanks, Bro.” The brute demon scowled as he walked in and Mika looked between the two of them. “My demon name,” he explained to her, his eyes narrowing. “Just as James’ is Raestrao.”

“Sam…” Two long strides and his eldest brother was face to face with him.

“What, Demon Lord? Too good to have a human girl know your name?” Sam didn’t like the glare he saw his brother giving Erik when they entered.

But Raestrao didn’t stop. Instead, he pulled him into a tight hug, surprising the brute. “You’re alive,” the whisper was rough with emotion.

“Yeah. Long story but I’m in one piece now, thanks to her.” Sam was further caught off-guard as his brother took a shaky breath, showing no signs of letting him go. “Heh, are Demon Lords supposed to cry?”

“It doesn’t matter; none of it matters. My brother is back.” Raestrao couldn’t believe it. “You’re alive.” He repeated it again and again.

“Come along,” Erik quietly caught Mika’s attention, stepping up beside her and calling up a teleportation ring. They dropped out of sight, leaving his two brothers alone in the throne room.

“Hey,” Sam whispered to Raestrao as his brother sobbed. He finally hugged him back. “I am. I am alive.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit:  
> The Days - Avicii  
> https://youtu.be/JDglMK9sgIQ
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	28. I want to take away the hurt but I just don't have the words.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lost and found and lost again.

The noise kept hammering Damien. There was no escape from the thoughts as he paced in the darkness of his dreams. He clutched his head, wishing he could shield but this tired? Ironically, he couldn't block a word, couldn't filter, or even focus on any of it and because of the noise, he couldn't sleep restfully to be able to block it.

There were fragments in the madness he recognized. _James._ As layered and contorted as his eldest brother's mind was, he couldn't follow them. The voice that had once been a comfort to him was heartbreaking now. Damien shouted out in the dark against the cruelty of their father, the viciousness of time taking something good and spoiling it like so many other things in the world.

 _ **Izroul, I'm sorry.**_ The thought cut through the wall of sound to find him. _Matthew._

His other brother was hard to hear through the chatter of neighbors, of passing cars, of James' raw thoughts of self-loathing and banishment. Thoughts of others battered him, too: those whose spirits lingered quietly, whispering behind the cacophony of the living's mental shouting. The words of ghosts, as weak as his own, it took such an effort to push his thoughts into existence amid it all.

Matthew's voice kept on and Damien tried to follow it. Something about Mika being gone. He knew that already, didn't he? She ran out on him, she left him alone in the street, she wouldn’t answer his calls. She was gone.

And went to Matthew, instead. Jealousy burrowed deep.

Damien sunk down to kneel, his eyes closed to the pitch black redundancy of his mind. He had to focus, he had to hold on.

 _Mika was with me,_ he clung to the memories. They were his; no one else's. _Mine._

Sunshine on his back, they lay on a blanket in the green grass. He recited poetry to her, seeing her eyes light and they tentatively kissed, reconnecting once more after so long. In the moonlight, Mika lay on his bed. His hands were on her, his mouth against hers. Finally, her smile was for him, only him. Her thoughts were so warm he wanted to stay wrapped in them forever.

 _She liked my smile. She liked holding hands and talking with me. She loved how I love books, just like her. She shared her love of horses with me and they liked me, too._ Damien’s hands shook and he clenched his head tighter. _I made her happy._ And during that time a small voice, so small Mika may not even know it existed, whispered to him from her heart.

**We could be.**

"We could be," Damien forced the words out into the open through clenched teeth. "We could be!" he shouted and it echoed, pushing the foreign thoughts away. “We could be!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, anger cracking his voice.

His brothers. They knew his feelings for her and still, still, they had to have her.

 _James._ She'd always had a level of attraction to his eldest brother. _But she chose me! She sought me out, connected with me in the study. Of all of us, I was the one she’d been drawn to. He knew it!_

His eldest brother's memories showed Damien Mika's murmured remembrance of James in her sleep as he lay atop her in her bed. Damien felt the attraction his brother felt as she sleepily gave him permission to take her. The drowsy lust and cries as her body answered his rang in Damien’s ears; to her, it was a dream of pleasure bandaging her sore heart.

He wouldn't even consider it. _James used her._

**We could be.**

Mika had thought of James while walking and talking with him. There were flashes of memories lingering in her mind: a light dinner at his brother's house, James and how she admired him, she looked up to him. And she thought she dreamed he’d pleasured her. She thought he was perfect, just as Damien had.

He wasn't the slightest bit remorseful that he lied to his brother. Mika may have thought about James, but they were all lies. Now, his eldest brother's self-loathing would keep him from ever touching her again.

 _Matthew._ He knows how I feel about her. How many days and nights had his brother listened to Damien speaking of her, dreaming of her? _He knows how much I care for her._

And still, Matthew pulled Mika into his seduction. All of those women, all of his "friends" he’d fed upon. How could he reduce Mika into being just another one of them? How had he lured her into letting him?

 _She hadn't been thinking, not in that bed. Not while feeling what she felt, while overwhelmed with her body's needs._ His brother drove them up so easily while taking what he wanted. Something Damien had never been able to do.

 **That's it. Give it to me.** Matthew coaxed her, taking her energy, taking her body in Damien’s mind once more as he remembered.

And down within Mika, as she moaned to his brother buried deep inside of her, Damien heard her heart again. Broken this time.

**Take me; use me, and I'll pretend someone loves me.**

Damien screamed into the darkness.

 _Andrew hurt her so badly,_ he choked on his rage. He would kill the man again if he could, a hundred times, but he couldn’t do anything about the past. Nothing but try to be there for her now.

Except Matthew was the one beside her.

_He knows how I feel. He knew and he did it anyway and then tries to apologize? He knew Andrew was dead, Mika alone and hurting, and didn't tell me? And then, when she ran away from me, when she was running away from everything hurting her, HE made sure to be there to catch her._

The betrayal, the betrayal hurt so badly. It gnawed at him, drew the darkest thoughts to the surface.

 ** _Damien!_** The shout cut through it all, ringing like a clarion bell. It was Mika, she was there, beyond, and she was worried about him!

He heard her shout, realizing the voices echoing around him in his head had changed. Erik was there. Wanting Mika. Of course, he would want her, too. The thought burned like acid before he sensed how worried Erik was: worried about her, worried about him. There was a bullet...

_**AOMARIS!** _

The name pushed everything else away as James’ mind yelled. The mind reader curled in on himself at the pain. **Sam isn't dead.** The rush of disbelief, sorrow, apology, concern, joy, and relief, it crushed him from all sides as James realized it.

He was happy his brother was alive, but Damien refused to listen to James, only wanting Mika's thoughts.

And then Sam's thoughts of Mika hit him. His brother’s memories, when the two of them-

“NO!” All of his brothers had betrayed him: James, Matthew, Erik, and Sam. **_All of them._**

And his world suddenly went silent.

“We could be,” it was a broken whisper through a clenched jaw, tears sliding down around Damien’s bared teeth. “We could be. We could be.”

 _What have I done to earn her, James?_ Damien bit his bottom lip, hard enough blood ran and filled his mouth.

**_I would do anything._ **

*

Mika and Erik dropped down into one of the guest rooms, a smaller bedroom with a simple bath compared to hers. The window looked out on the path towards the stable instead of the courtyard and Mika saw it was higher. They were on the third floor.

Erik gently laid Damien down on the bed, careful to place him on his side. The mind reader moaned, his eyes wavering behind their lids. The incubus could sense his brother's nightmare. He subtly brushed Damien's forehead with two fingers, shielding him from the thoughts around him, layering his mind and locking it to block him from reading anything from anyone. Erik couldn’t take the risk. Thankfully, Mika didn't notice; she was too caught up in the bullet wound.

"Oh, no," muttering under her breath, she studied the damage with her mage sight. A bright flare of pain but nowhere near what it should have been. The nerves, the spinal column was dark, silent, severed by the bullet's path.

"He'll be okay," Erik insisted. Mika cast him a doubtful look and he pushed on. "We've had just as bad, before. Malix has a nasty habit of putting bullets in us."

"I saw," Mika quietly admitted, circling the bed to kneel on it in front of Damien, helping to hold him up. Her brow knit. "I remembered parts of it, back at the mansion, and Sam showed me some. Erik,” She looked up at him, serious, “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you and your brothers to leave after the fight with Malix. I... Sometimes I don't think of others. Sometimes, I’m not thinking right at all."

"You don't think right?" He gave a self-derisive snort. "We can be very much alike, Princess. What would you call it? Inconsiderate? Self-centered?" He saw how her face fell and gave her a small smile. “How about focused? Determined? You can be selfish but I have much more practice at it.”

“Sam said something like that,” she confessed awkwardly.

"Mika, the past is gone,” Erik shook his head regretfully. “We can vow to be good but more realistically we can try to be better and you are doing it." _You are, while I can’t seem to manage it._

Mika’s cheeks flushed with his praise and Erik felt the warm brush of her energy as she reacted to it. It had him wanting again, like an appetizer, and he quickly looked away, seeing her pull back as well. _Does she sense my interest, too?_

He cut off that train of thought. "Let's get to work. We can do this together. Do you remember the pain block you did for Sam?" She had walked Erik through how she healed his brother over breakfast. That particular technique was new to him. He usually blocked pain in the mind but she went locally to the nerves, themselves.

Mika nodded, rubbing Damien's arm. Her other hand brushed his sweaty bangs back from his face. She studied him and reached for the pain, wrapping it in her power, feeling a twinge in her own back and hissing.

Erik startled but she waved it away. It was a definitive side-effect of her magic; she always took some of the pain, herself. It couldn’t be helped. Nodding grimly, he dismissed Damien’s coat and shirt, studying the angry wound.

The bullet was buried deep, the tissue seared and inflamed around it, the bone half-shattered. He could see where James had tried to heal him, his brother’s power nowhere near adequate for this damage. There would be no way to extract the slug without cutting in and from what he could see, that would sever what little was left of his brother's spine. It was going to take more magic, more focus than he'd originally thought to pull it out. Difficult with Mika so close to him, but he could do it.

"Rest, brother." Erik pressed his palm to Damien's forehead, forcing him into a deeper sleep so he wouldn't wake or move, then gently guided him onto his stomach. Mika shifted to sit next to the wounded incubus, holding his hand and silently watching. The bright magenta of Erik’s magic slid over the wound as the incubus sensed the damage then pulled his power back onto a small, tight ball of energy. He gripped it and raised his eyes to Mika.

"If I'm interpreting how you block pain correctly, this is going to hurt," he warned.

Mika paled but nodded. Clamping her teeth together, she steeled herself to smother any sound that might try to escape. She knew how important it was for Erik to keep his mind focused and his attention on the magic to safely remove the bullet. She didn't want him worrying about hurting her.

The magenta ball of energy exploded between Erik's fingers, an odd aura erupting from it, only to twist and twine and stretch down-wards towards the wound. Mika realized it wasn't the smoky swirl she expected but tendrils, like the tentacles he summoned around him during some of their sparring.

But this time over a hundred magenta micro-fibers elongated from his grasp. Erik’s eyes shone brightly as they reflected the ethereal glow. Slowly one thread, then another, then another, slid into the hole, seeking the bullet within. They stretched the damaged flesh, opening the entrance wound once more, but without cutting.

It felt like needles sliding into Mika’s back, her muscles wanting to spasm. She hissed then took a rapid intake of breath. Locking her mage sight on the foreign object within Damien's spine, she watched Erik's magic reach for it, focusing on it instead of the phantom sensations.

The tendrils slid around the deformed lead, wrapping it up and collecting the pieces that shattered from it when it struck the demon's bones. Blood was welling, spinal fluid trying to leak out around them. As Erik's powers drew the bullet out, Mika sent her healing magic in to draw the nerves back together, hearing her teacher’s hum of approval as he saw her assistance. Carefully, she aligned the bone fragments like puzzle pieces, letting them mend through her power.

Erik drew the slug into his palm, curling his fingers around it, the ethereal energy entrapping it before dropping it into his handkerchief. As soon as it met the open air, it disappeared in a whirl of black smoke. Malix's calling card: hell-borne energy. He quickly searched once more; he wouldn't leave any taint in his brother, nothing to possibly corrupt him from the inside.

Seeing Mika's magic at work, Erik realized he didn't have to worry. Bright white and shining, it burned out any darkness it touched, permeating throughout Damien, healing, and strengthening. He saw his brother relax, his body calm and sink into a healing slumber as Mika finished, leaving Damien intact once more. She swayed, looking up at Erik for confirmation that it was done.

"He's fine, now," he reassured her and she gave a tired smile. His nervousness came back full force as he considered his next question. "You need to rest. Do you want to stay with him, come with me, or go back to your own room?"

 _Is he offering what I think he's offering?_ Mika had to wonder. She'd been anxious around him all day, oddly attracted. It still lingered in the back of her mind as he asked, desire sparking as she studied him.

"What are you asking me, Erik?"

The incubus faltered. _What am I asking?_ It wasn't safe for her to be with him; it was getting more and more difficult to resist and she was starting to desire him, too. Sam was with James, the last person he wanted her to be near, and Damien would be sleeping for awhile.

"I just want to make sure you are going to be alright. I can have dinner sent up to your room or here if you would like to keep an eye on Damien." It would be for the best. He saw how worried she was over his youngest brother. Her hand still held Damien's, keeping their connection.

 _Maybe it’s still there_ , the thought was bittersweet.

Mika considered, her anxiety rising, though nowhere near the morning in Damien’s apartment, how long ago? She'd run out on him, he'd tried to stop her, but it felt like a million years ago. Her fingers laced with his, her mind not even noticing it as she focused on the incubus asking if she’d join him. 

Erik could feel her eyes on his skin. He knew she was seeing him as the incubus once more, though he remained hidden beneath his magic.

Mika blinked, suddenly feeling dizzy. Something was stirring in her, something telling her to go with him. It was as if a voice whispered in her mind, telling her to want him, to choose him. To take up his offer and join him in his bed. Her fatigue after healing Damien made it hard to focus, it was odd how it only seemed to make her want him more.

"And if I come with you?" her voice was low.

"Princess?" Erik almost didn't recognize it. A flash of purple crackled across Mika's eyes, laced with gold, and he took a step back.

"What are you offering me, Uzaeris?" The question echoed through the room.

Erik shuddered at the sound of his true name. It was a purr running down his back, an offer in itself, triggering his lust just before Mika's energy enveloped him. She dropped his brother's hand and rose from the bed to approach him, her hair falling over one eye.

He couldn't keep his gaze from running down her. Her body beckoned in the tight sports bra, her curves lush. Her hips swayed with her steps, her sweatpants hanging low. The lavender band of her underwear just peeked from the soft fabric. His legs wouldn't move back another step as she leaned into him, resting her body against his. The purple glow in her eyes grew as she looked up at him from beneath her lashes.

"Mika, what are you doing?" He took a shaky breath, keeping his hands away from her.

"Why do you hesitate, Lord of Lilith?" She leaned up to kiss his jaw, her voice no longer human, echoing once more. It was a demon's voice. "Don't you want your Princess? Don't you want to make her a Queen?"

"Who are you?"

"You know who I am," she laughed up at him, amused as he looked down at her. "I'm just reminding you what she is." Mika stretched up on her toes, her mouth brushing against his, her hips rocking against him, and Erik took a quick breath. Her tongue slid into his mouth with the air to twine with his.

It was disarming. Erik's hands dropped to her waist as he moaned, her skin smooth and soft to the touch, warm as if fevered. His own hips shifted against her belly as he tasted her, wanting her, her scent filling his nose. The claims of his brothers taunted him and his grip on her tightened.

He firmly pushed her away.

"This isn't Mika." He took a step back, then another.

She gave a huff, blowing the hair up out of her face in annoyance. "Then what am I? When are you going to make up your mind?"

"My mind?"

"Ohhh," Her laugh was cruel, one Erik recognized as she stood, hand on her cocked hip, arrogantly looking him over. "You're still pretending it's her choice?"

His mouth went dry, his stomach dropping. "Ezaeur? Why are you doing this?"

"You don't have forever, Uzaeris. Or would you rather one of your brothers take it from you?" Her head tilted towards the bed. "The bastard? Or maybe Aomaris? Wasn't he impressive? Imagine if he figured it out and the incubus within him unlocked." Mika hummed, licking her upper lip.

"Or maybe the Demon Lord really should just... **Take. It. All!** " She shrieked the words, screaming at him, her eyes burning with anger.

"Leave her alone! Leave both of us alone!" Erik called up his magic, magenta energy flaring to life in the palms of his hands but he wasn't sure what he could do.

"I chose a fool! They'll figure it out; it's only a matter of time. And then you will fall, too." She gave a bitter laugh. "It takes two halves to make a whole. Or did you forget that?"

Mika gave a sudden cry, her body tensing before dropping unconscious on the floor, purple energy crackling out from her to climb the walls and disappear. With a deep breath of his own, Erik dropped to his knees beside her, hanging his head.

“Please, no.”

*

"I've been talking with Uzaeris," Sam warned his brother right away, a grim frown showing his thoughts on the matter.

"I do not doubt it, but there are two sides. You know our history." Raestrao stepped back, folding his arms and looking down at his brother, the mantle of the Demon Lord settling upon his shoulders once more. "You do remember what he did, don't you? Stealing Ezaeur from me?"

"And you don't remember what you did to her?" Sam studied his older brother, concerned. "Were you blind to everything the asshole did?" A slice of fear sunk through the brute, so strong his anger wouldn't answer. "Did you think it was okay?"

"Saero was a traitor, Sam," James repeated the words he’d told himself that night. “I do not waste my time thinking about it.”

"Saero couldn't stand by and let our father rape the woman he loved!” He saw James start. “Though she _made_ him. There was a time you would have felt the same! A time you would have stood against him. The very thought of forcing a woman would have sickened you."

The Demon Lord paled, more than just thoughts of Ezaeur in his mind. "Of course it does! Father never-"

"He did,” Sam growled, resolute. “YOU turned a blind eye."

"No. He wouldn’t touch her. I would have known. She would have said something. She was my wife, Aomaris!" He couldn’t accept it. Their relationship was strained, but it could not have been that far.

"Your wife in name. Only in words. She didn’t trust you." Sam shook his head, disgusted. "No wonder you did what you did to Mika."

Raestrao froze. "Uzaeris told you." _Of course, he would._

"We all know. And unlike me, I'm realizing the James I knew really is dead. He would have never, ever, done what you did. You've been twisted into his creature, blinded and warped. You believed everything he said, didn't you?"

"He- No! No, I didn't. But you don't understand. To command, to lead... The pressure, Aomaris. The need to be strong and hold your ground. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions. Sometimes you have to hurt one to save another or many others."

"And who did you save by using Mika?" Sam snarled, his fists clenching.

James grimly looked up at him. "Her," he answered quietly.

"What?!" It threw the brute totally off-guard.

"Didn't Erik tell you?" The Demon Lord ran a hand through his hair. It startled Sam, seeing the motion he only saw from James.

"Tell me what?” Sam answered belligerently. “How he tried calming her down? How you made him take you to her and then commanded him away so you could have her?"

"She was drowning, Sam. Whatever happened with her magic and energy, she was calling us, across worlds! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is for her?" Raestrao met his eyes. "Her untrained magic was breaking through! Uzaeris had already cast the sleep spell. He would have taken her if I hadn't. I’m not saying it was right, but it’s partly why I did what I did."

“Partly?” Sam asked quietly. He studied James closer. “You wanted her. You couldn’t let him have her.” The brute shut his eyes, remembering. _The call._ He'd heard it through the storm, followed it across miles, Mika’s energy summoning him. He hadn't been able to keep himself from stealing another kiss. Only Raestrao's presence had kept him from going too far that night in the storm. Only Matthew draining her right before he stole her away to Erik prevented him from succumbing again until her magic brought her energy in check.

That night, Uzaeris’ presence had only spurred his older brother on.

"I made a choice," Raestrao broke the silence. "The wrong one, but it was the only one I could make. She remembered me, Sam. Somewhere inside her, she remembered me." He wouldn't say she wanted him, Damien didn’t think so, despite her actions. She hadn’t really known what was happening. He realized he would never know for sure and it was much too close to the delusional justifications of the guilty. "She remembered me and I took her. I gave her as much pleasure as I could and I took as much as I could hold."

“And now you want to do right by her.” Sam knew him all too well.

“Yes. I would have her my Queen, Aomaris.I would dedicate my life to making her happy, but I have to tell her and she will hate me for it.”

The admission was met with grim silence. Sam didn’t know what Mika wanted, except for one thing: She didn’t want him. He could live with friendship. “You know, Mika and I were together,” Sam confessed and Raestrao stared at him, surprised. “Or you will know, once you look close enough. It was our choice.”

“You’re-?” Raestrao held his tongue, turning away.

“I said our choice but I’m not her choice,” Sam admitted, watching how his brother’s gaze returned. He’d seen how Mika looked at James, saw how the two of them were together in the human world when he thought he had his brother back.

Sam considered Raestrao. Maybe there was still a chance. Maybe Mika could help them.

 _But at what cost?_ No matter how he looked at it, he couldn’t see her with Raestrao, ruling the Abyssal Plains. He couldn’t help but feel it was wrong. He feared the day would come that the bright light would leave her eyes and her laughter would stop. But it wasn’t his choice, it was hers, and if James had a chance…

 _Maybe there is another way._ Aomaris realized, his eyes locking with his brother’s.

“What do you mean?” Raestrao’s eyes narrowed.

“Don’t tell her.”

“What?!” Never had Raestrao been more surprised.

“Don’t fucking tell her.” Sam folded his arms, resolute.

“I have to.” The older demon’s features softened in sorrow. “If there’s anything I have ever been more sure of, it is this. She has to know.”

“Don’t, Raestrao.” Sam meant it, willing his brother to listen. “Talk to Uzaeris. It’s obvious you don’t know what happened with Ezaeur.”

“Aomaris…”

“There was a time you trusted him. I’m telling you to trust him again. The old man fucked you, worse than he fucked your ‘wife.” The brute cruelly added seeing his brother flush in anger. _Good._ “No matter what, do not tell Mika.”

Raestrao struggled, wanting to trust him, realizing he truly did not know what was going on. For Aomaris to tell him to purposely deceive Mika…

Sam saw his brother turn around to face him once more. It was James looking back at him. “Is there something you aren’t telling me? Something about her and I? Something I should know?” The hope in his brother’s eyes sliced Sam’s heart in two.

“Just, don’t tell her.”

*

The world was silent. Not quiet, not calm, silent. It had Damien's eyes flying open, his head already up off the pillow as he pushed up on his knees in the soft bed.

A quiet murmur of complaint rose from deep in the blankets beside him, a girl rolling onto her back. Her breathing changed to light snores as Damien turned to her, surprised.

The light was dim, only the low flames in the fireplace casting an orange glow on the bed and its occupants. The heat wasn't enough to keep the chill from his bare chest and the girl burrowed deeper into the small blanket thrown over her. Completely disoriented, he slowly dropped back down, rolling onto his side to study her and assess himself.

He hadn't fed, that was painfully obvious. And no matter how he tried to focus, he couldn't catch a single thought from her. His power either wasn't working or was gone. Any other time he would have celebrated, but right now, it terrified him.

 _I was hurt. I couldn't move. James..._ It all came back in a rush: The fight with his brother, Malix and the devils, Mika carried off and James' mind telling him the nightmares that had happened, only to have it all confirmed by his brother's words through a haze of pain.

And now he was trapped in silence, as blind of his surroundings as if his sight had been taken, but he recognized the feel of this world. He might not recognize the room itself or the view out the window but it definitely wasn't the human world.

 _I'm back._ James must have brought him back to the Abyssal Plains. He was healed, completely, though tired. That would only have happened with magic.

 _What did Raestrao do?_ Did his brother decide to remove his power? A gift? Or a sentence?

The girl beside him murmured again, her words muffled. She was dreaming and he had no idea what about. Whatever it was, it wasn't pleasant. Her energy was bitter, soured by fear. It was strong, surprisingly so, telling him she was having a nightmare. Her body shivered beside him.

"You're alright," he whispered, lifting the blanket and moving closer to comfort her, the warmth welcome to his chilled skin.

"Izroul," she whispered his name, a shout in her dream, and Damien froze. His eyes went wide in the darkness as she rolled back to him.

Mika woke enough to realize someone was there, her arm curling over his side to draw him closer. She hesitated at how cold he felt, her eyes opening.

"Mika," he breathed her name, unable to understand just how they'd ended up here together but not wanting to question it.

"Damien?" Mika blinked, snatching her hand back. _I must have passed out again. And Erik left me in Damien's bed._ All of her uncertainty rushed back, her guilt, her embarrassment. She wasn’t sure what to think of Erik’s decision. But another part of her was glad. Damien was healed and with her, beside her. Then reality crept into her mind.

An incubus.

 _You were in his bed before and he didn't take advantage of you,_ she reminded herself as she stared across the pillows at him. In fact, she'd rather enjoyed it and would have gone further if he hadn't pulled them back. He wouldn’t jump her now.

"How are you feeling?" It was the only thing she could think to say, balking at facing what happened between them. Internally, she groaned, trying to think rationally, trying to fight the urge to avoid, to run away, to hide back under the blankets, even.

"Better. And you?" he asked quietly.

Damien searched her features for any clues he could get but back-lit, Mika was only a dark silhouette in the firelight. Her faint scent was more recognizable now, though he hadn't paid enough attention to it in the past to know more. He hadn't been close enough in years to even catch it and more recently, he'd buried himself in her thoughts. Her energy was tentative, stronger than other humans but she wasn't attracted to him now. That was obvious as she pulled back, taking the blanket with her as she wrapped it tighter around herself.

Frustration threatened to choke him as he realized she was still considering her answer, withdrawing from him.

"I texted you. I tried to call you," he added as if the words would make anything better. At least they would force her to address them. _To address us._

"I'm sorry." She moved back even further.

"Why? What are you sorry for?" He wanted to catch her in his arms and pull her back to him but he couldn't tell if it was what she wanted.

_I don't know! I don't know what you're thinking. I don't know what to do, what to say, to make it all better again._

Was she scared of him? Was she thinking of his brothers? Of Matthew? Of... Sam??? He found the signature branded so intimately upon her, proof that it all wasn’t just a dream.

 _My brother is alive._ Damien thought he'd heard Sam's thoughts during the fight with Malix and the devils but had dismissed it as a hallucination. _Sam's still alive._ The joy was tainted by the feeling of his betrayal.

"I shouldn't have... run away like that," Mika finally forced herself to admit it. "It was wrong." She didn't want to talk about it. Instead, it sounded like she wanted to run away from him again, right now.

He put his hand out, beckoning for hers. _Maybe if I touch her I can hear something._ But Mika shook her head.

"Damien, things are really complicated now," she added with a sigh, clearly upset.

At least she cares. "They don't have to be," he offered.

"Oh yes, they do," unexpected anger filled her voice. "Why didn't you tell me you knew me from before? Why didn't you tell me about you and your brothers? Sam said..." Her voice choked off and she pushed past it. "Look, I can understand you not wanting to tell me what you are. It's the natural instinct of a predator to remain hidden."

"Predator?!" This time Damien moved back from her, sitting up.

"I know you wouldn't hurt me," she quickly added, seeing he was upset. "And I know you needed the energy to survive."

"You think I just wanted your energy?" He couldn't believe it. _How do I get over this hurdle?_

"Obviously, " she waved a hand up and down to indicate him, "Incubus."

Her tone added insult to injury. "Mika, you aren't like that for me. Don't you understand?" He stared at her in disbelief.

She stopped it with a huff. "Look, you don't have to pretend anymore. I know I was cruel to you. I should have let you and your brothers stay. We could have stayed friends while I dated Andrew. I… I made a mistake and I hope we can be friends again," she pushed the words out, trying to figure out how to get back on even ground with him.

"I don't want to be your friend!" The words snapped out of him, too fast to prevent them, anger and jealousy winning over. Purple energy swirled in his eyes, the last word echoing in his demonic voice as he glared at her.

Mika shot up off the bed, backing away nervously. This wasn't the gentle, quiet man she thought Damien was. "Sam said you saved me. That you saved me from Malix, before. He said..."

Her energy was nothing but fear, she kept babbling his brother's name, repeating it over and over. The fire reflected in her wide eyes, one hand raising in defense as the other clutched the blanket around her shoulders.

Damien vaulted over the bed, his bare feet slapping on the hardwood floor as he landed. Three strides and he had Mika backed up against the wall.

"And what else did Sam say?" He leaned in, palms pressing the plaster to either side of her, caging her in as he looked down at her. His hair hung in his eyes, their glow bright behind its curtain.

"He... He said," she faltered. Sam had shown her more than he'd said to her but one thing stood out in her memory. "That you became connected to me." Her voice was a whisper in the darkness.

 _And yet he still took you?_ Damien raged in his heart.

"Connected," he gave a rough, harsh laugh, looking down. "How cold that makes it sound."

_Yet it had been one-sided, he reminded himself. She chose Andrew. Has she chosen Sam over you now?_

"What would you call it?" She broke him from his thoughts, biting her bottom lip. "Can you show me?"

“I want to,” he growled under his breath. He wanted to walk with her again, talk with her, make her smile and laugh only for him. He wanted to share his life, all that he had with her and wanted it to make her as happy as being with her made him. Damien considered her mouth. He wanted to show her; to feel the same from her, to hear her thoughts chanting the words back to him as he whispered them to her. His body wanted to prove it every night as she lie beneath him, or beside him, or atop him. He wanted to watch her sleep in the moonlight again, his arms around her.

Mika gave a shaky breath, wondering just how much of the desire she felt came from herself and how much was his incubus power. "Sam showed me with his tags," she added weakly.

 _Tags?_ Damien realized it. Sam used a focus when he shared memories, his magic too weak to call them up alone in someone’s mind.

Damien didn't have that problem. _A million others, but not that one._

"I can show you." He could at least try. He might not hear any of her thoughts but he might still be able to project his memories to her. _Sam was right to show her; she should know,_ he realized. _If she’s going to dismiss me, she should at least know what she had._ He would give back everything Diana took away from them and let Mika decide. He lifted a hand to her cheek, caressing it gently. "My powers will let me, if you will."

"How?" She looked up at him nervously and he wondered if Mika was even aware that she leaned into his touch.

"Just relax."

Lightning flashed and Mika fell into those violet eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the wait, when life itself is a bit tough, it's hard to write a tough story. Just needed some time for me and the Holidays.  
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Chapter Title Credit  
> Let me hold you - Josh Krajcik  
> https://youtu.be/DwSq17kZvyo


	29. 'Cause I need you to see that you are the reason.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past is confronted.

Erik returned to the throne room but his brothers were gone. Night had fallen. Tilting his head back, he shook his bangs away from his eye and noticed how the windows above were dark. Several were stained glass, depicting Lilith and the Queen’s legends. He’d spent a fortune replicating them from the old castle. They were beautiful to behold when the dawn was behind them. In the dark, you couldn’t even tell they were there.

 _Like me._ The light hadn’t touched him in a long time.

Despite the myriad of standing candelabrum in the chamber, Erik could still feel the chill rising off the marble around him. He rolled the sleeves of his shirt back down, buttoning his cuffs as he walked towards the throne. Unlike the large gold monstrosity his father passed to Raestrao; this chair was elegant, narrow and tall, to accentuate the Queens that would sit upon it.

 _My duty._ He might be the Lord but the kingdom still waited for its next Queen. Of all the nobles he’d met, none even remotely appealed. The thought of serving one of them…

The throne loomed over him, his stomach churning, just another thing showing his lack. Raestrao was right. He didn’t rule, not in the day-to-day or the details; that was what his advisers were for. Uzaeris refused to be a tyrant like his brother. Only the big decisions came down to him, as few and far between as they were, and he tried his best to make them for the good of his subjects.

 _And the posturing. Let’s not forget the pretty poses._ Those were his specialty: playing the figurehead to show that everything was all right; acting in front of the entire Plains as though the bloodline hadn’t been horribly massacred by his own father, that the last Queen hadn’t completely abandoned them all.

All he truly had was his magic and it took Mika to show him that he wasn’t using it enough. It provided protection for his people, yes, and he would fight for the kingdom if it ever came down to it. But he could be healing his people, too.

 _I haven’t been outside of the castle gates in over a decade._ He didn’t know where to begin, how to even start.

Uzaeris turned away before his thoughts could drag him down even further. He left the grim, golden reminder behind, walking through the silent hall back to his brother’s room when he heard Sam's growl.

"Quit being an idiot!"

"How can you, of all people, say that?!" Raestrao demanded.

Erik paused, the voices echoing out of the war room. His brothers were there, standing around Lilith's table, arguing. Raestrao loomed, his back up and every inch the Demon Lord as he met the Dragon Lord's fierce glare.

"Are you saying I'm stupid?" Sam ground the words out, leaning on the warm granite, hoping Lilith helped him keep his temper.

"I am saying you are honest." Raestrao carefully enunciated each of the words, implying both.

Sam snarled. “I’m only trying to-”

"Damien will be fine," Uzaeris interjected loudly into the conversation, causing both to start as he walked into the room. Raestrao eyed him, silent, while Aomaris frowned at him grimly. "We've healed him, he just needs to rest."

"We? And Mika?" Raestrao asked before the brute could, staring intently.

Erik flushed, refusing to let his brother intimidate him without a fight, "Her healing magic is stronger than mine, she was the one who handled most of it, but it is draining to her. She needs rest as well." He folded his arms, forcing his back to straighten and stand tall, reaching for his own regality once more. "And I would appreciate it if you would use your glamour while in my domain, especially in her presence. She knows what we are," his lips thinned as he glanced at Sam, the brute unrepentant, "But I prefer we have some human decency around her."

"This coming from you?" Raestrao barked a criticizing laugh. "The Lord of Lilith?" His brow rose haughtily but his glamour did return, making him look like James once more. "Why am I not surprised to find yet another I care for has been taken from me by you?"

Erik bristled at the affront.

"I took her," Sam growled, slamming a fist down on the table. "Shut up until you know what's going on." He glared at his eldest brother, his temper barely in check.

Erik cleared his throat, drawing their attention once more. "It doesn’t matter. We need to send Mika back to the human world. Now."

"I agree," James added, surprising his brothers. "Damien may return with her."

"Like it's your decision," Sam snorted. "Get off your high horse already and let Mika take care of it. They're her specialty," he taunted.

Erik blinked. It had been a long time since they all were together and with Sam back, it felt as though they were brothers again. He realized he would never have spoken to Raestrao like that now, not with his brother as Demon Lord.

"And you," Sam turned back to Erik. "You left her with Damien? That's a crock when you think he killed Andrew." Sam folded his arms in disgust.

Raestrao's head whipped back towards the incubus, surprised.

"He wouldn't hurt _her_ ," Erik answered, not meeting his gaze. "Something I wouldn't say for the rest of us."

"Wait. Damien killed Andrew?" Raestrao asked, unsure. He had seen her memories, the human's death was an accident.

"He didn't," Sam insisted.

"Sam saw him. A clone broke Ezaeur's spell." Erik cautiously considered the Demon Lord.

"It wasn't him!" Sam growled. "I was the one there."

"I know you want to protect him but there's no one else! He's wanted Mika since he first met her." Erik pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It was an accident; I saw her memories." Raestrao shook his head.

"Mika didn’t see Damien break Ezaeur's spell. She didn’t see Sam startle Andrew's horse." Erik pressed.

"What?!" James looked back to the brute. "You caused it to-?"

"Yeah," Sam grudgingly admitted, cutting him off. "And she knows it."

"Just how much does she know?" Raestrao's lips firmed, wondering just how much he didn’t know and what his brothers had dared to tell Mika.

"She doesn’t know what has been happening," Erik answered quietly. "But Sam showed her when we first met her at the mansion, when we explained what we were, among other things."

"You know what?” Sam looked between the two of them, his patience gone. “Fuck you both. I'm going back with her and Damien. You’re both so wrapped up in your own shit, someone needs to kick Malix's ass and be on her side." Both of his brothers started at the reminder, feeling guilty. The devil was still out there.

“Sam,” Raestrao’s voice softened, “You’re right.”

The almost-apology shocked Uzaeris.

"Of course I’m right." Aomaris flashed a cocky smile for a second before turning serious once more. “And I’m tired. I’m gonna get some sleep while you two talk it out.”

The brute walked out the door, calling back at them over his shoulder, “’Night James; you too, Pretty Boy.”

Left alone, the two brothers faced each other. Erik held his breath as he looked the Demon Lord over. Raestrao still intimidated him, his aura palpable to the incubus. They’d never fought as they had in the mansion. Raestrao had beat him and broke past his shields. He could easily command him again and he would be powerless, forced to comply.

Sam knew it when he left them alone. Aomaris trusted their brother, he trusted that beyond everything, James was still there.

Erik considered it. _If there is a chance, if I could go back and fix what broke between us, I would in a heartbeat. But we can’t go back._

His brother stood silent, watching, waiting. Waiting for Uzaeris to decide, something Raestrao would never have done, now.

 _If the chance existed, if we could return to how things once were…_ What would he do if he could get his brother back?

"My room is upstairs," Uzaeris offered, wanting the privacy.

"I should see to my kingdom and should sleep as well." Raestrao turned away. Anger, regret, sorrow, were churning within him. His habit was to push it all away and let it die, ignored. His instincts insisted he be strong, controlling. His father’s training ordered him to end his brother before he could commit another betrayal. His heart told him to give Uzaeris this chance. The world was proving itself to be different than he thought.

 _What if I have committed even more wrongs?_ The image of his brother trying to talk to him about Mika, bloody and fleeing as he banished him from the human world rose in his mind. _What if I am wrong?_ Mika was here, safe, learning magic from Uzaeris and using it to heal his brothers. Shame danced on the edge of Raestrao’s mind, threatening to engulf him. He wasn’t sure he could take any more but he needed to know

The tall demon paused. “I should go but I know I won’t be able to sleep, Uzaeris,” he quietly admitted. When they were younger, whenever he had trouble sleeping, it was this brother who was always there. They would talk for hours, closer of any of the others. He saw the moment Erik remembered it and realized what he was saying. Both of them were attempting to reach across the chasm that divided them.

“Then let’s talk,” Uzaeris moved closer and summoned a circle beneath the two of them. “And tomorrow, we’ll send Mika back.”

 

*

 

Damien reached for his power even as he reached for Mika, beckoning his magic. It felt strange. He couldn’t connect to her mind, couldn’t hear her thoughts. Desperate, he summoned his memories, trying to push them to her, using himself as the focus as he looked into her eyes. A bright flash flared from their depths, a crackle of purple across her green irises and suddenly he was yanked from his own body, pulled into the black pit of her pupils, plunging into the darkness with her as his memories unwound…

"Shit, she passed out." Sam shoved his hands in the pockets of his letterman’s jacket, hiding how he clenched his fists as he stared down at the prone human girl sprawled on the marble floor of the mansion’s foyer. He fought anger and dismay in equal measure as the rest of his brothers hurried to her aid. _It was just a kiss! I didn't mean to hurt her._ His thoughts ran through Damien’s mind, rising to the top above all the others. _I just lost control. Again. Damn it!_

“Of all the- You both took way too much of her energy!” James snapped, quickly crouching down beside the girl with Erik, Matthew watching wide-eyed. “How could you be so irresponsible?”

"She's okay. She just needs to sleep it off and have a good meal. Her energy will come back, James," Erik tried to calm him as he checked the girl over with his mage sight. _I did take too much energy but she enjoyed it as much as I did,_ the flirtatious brother thought as he cautiously felt the back of her head.

 _Unfortunately, I already have to use some._ He healed the bump he found before it could start to swell. _But there’s more where that came from._ "I can take you to bed, my sweet," he crooned to the unconscious girl. The temptation was strong and the red-headed incubus reached for her.

"Damien will take her up to her room," James quickly interjected, putting a hand on Erik’s arm to stop him. Startled, their youngest brother looked up from the girl as James thought towards him. _Take her upstairs and make sure she's comfortable. Keep watch over her._

James' request had Damien nodding. The eldest brother knew he wouldn't touch her. Damien would be the last person to be tempted, considering how his mother had been treated by their father.

 _This girl is so tempting,_ James thought before shaking himself out of it. "Go ahead," he added, moving back to let Damien reach her. _Don't let me change my mind. I can't trust myself, right now._ James’ hunger was only growing as his personal energy went to heal his own wounds from their fight with Malix in the woods.

They were all hungry and none of them were used to it, except Damien. Born a slave, it felt weird when he wasn't. His few wounds were mostly healed. He bent down and picked the girl up, surprised by how her energy felt. Erik and Sam were right, it was rich and heady. Just holding her relieved some of his hunger.

Carefully, Damien carried the girl up the stairs as he heard James divvying up chores between his brothers, below.

“This is her home, treat it with respect. First, we need to clean the foyer and dining room of blood. Sam, you take her luggage upstairs. Matthew, start checking the kitchen for food. If we cook dinner, we can feed her as an apology along with ourselves." _Once made, it would be a waste if she didn't want to feed us. It's highly unlikely she will say no and at least we'll have a meal._ James felt guilty at the thought; it was a little like stealing but he had to think of them first. In a huge house like this, sharing some food shouldn't hurt the girl.

Damien moved down the hallway, Sam appearing beside him with the girl's bags. The brute looked her over as they walked.

"It wasn't your fault, Sam," Damien could clearly sense how worried his brother was.

Sam grunted, not comforted in the least. "Pretty boy took his fair amount but I should have recognized the danger to her. It’s my fault."

He ran ahead, using his speed to check each of the rooms. Choosing the largest with the biggest bed, he set her bags down and held the door open. Damien was careful as he lay Mika down between the sheets, Sam still berating himself in his head as he took one last look at them before leaving.

 _He trusts me, too._ It was trust that would be met. The girl was out cold and Damien pulled the blankets over her, making sure she was comfortable before pausing to study her.

 _That's my granddaughter, Mika._ Harold's voice spoke proudly in his mind, the spirit orb bobbing in the air beside him. _She's a good girl. Reminds me so much of how I was before I found my calling._

"She's beautiful," Damien meant it. Ever since Mika walked in the door he'd been fascinated by her. He wasn't quite sure why.

 _She is. I'd planned to be here to train and teach her as her magic bloomed. Instead, she's alone and getting mine on top of hers,_ the spirit explained sadly. _She's going to have a hard time of it all, Izroul._

Damien looked up for a moment. He'd given Harold his demon name during their long talks through the gate while still in the demon world, when humans were only a dream. He told the warlock so much about the Abyssal Plains, learning so much about this world in return. Knowing his name, Harold could have trapped him but it was worth the risk. Anything was better than life as a slave under his father.

The warlock had promised Damien he could do anything, learn anything, be anything, in the human world. And they were. His brothers and he had been exploring their new world for almost a year, now. Ever since Harold helped them through the gate. They’d seen so much; it was full of wonders.

 _One of which is right here._ Damien’s eyes strayed back to Mika. She was dreaming of Sam and Erik’s kisses, the experiences so new to her. They weren’t as she’d expected and the memories circled in her mind as she slept. He longed to wake her with a first kiss of their own, one she could remember as everything she hoped for. Perhaps one day he’d have the chance.

 _Life likes to laugh at your plans,_ Harold Anderson sighed, though the incubus wasn’t paying attention. _Don't stand by when opportunity knocks and don't expect it to come to you. Never wait because it really is true. Time is promised to no one and it's better to have dids than could haves when you look back at it all,_ the ghost continued, regretting his passing as they often did.

Damien brushed the hair back from Mika's eyes, leaning over her and memorizing every detail: her soft skin, the fine lashes of her closed eyes, the bow of her lips, the shine of her black hair as it spilled over the silk pillowcase. Harold had spoken of her a little in their talks. None of it prepared him for meeting her in person.

 _Izroul._ His name caught Damien's attention once more.

 _Keep an eye on her for me, will you? You and your brothers. Keep Mika safe, Izroul, and when the time comes, be there for her._ Harold didn’t know how long he could stay and as a spirit there was little he could do. So far as they knew, only the demon’s mind reading allowed him to communicate at all.

"I will, I swear," Damien vowed, his eyes locked on her.

*

Mika watched the past unfold before her once more in the foyer, this time after Erik’s kiss. She saw herself faint and Damien carried her up to her room. Mika followed, neither him nor Sam knowing she was behind them, watching. It was like walking through a movie.

He put her to bed, calling her beautiful and talking to himself to Mika’s surprise. Then he moved away, leaning against the far bedroom wall to watch over her and wait patiently as she slept, occasionally nodding his head or speaking under his breath.

Time leapt and Mika was embarrassed by her reaction when she saw herself wake. Of course she freaked at a man in her bedroom, especially knowing he was an incubus. _I was barely any better this time,_ she admitted.

Damien was calm and quiet. “I’m not going to use my powers on you.” Then as now, he could have just as easily taken advantage of her, but he hadn't. “I can read minds. It’s an ability I was born with.”

She heard his confession, surprised. _Damien can read minds?_ The scene kept playing out, but Mika’s thoughts stopped for a second. _All this time he could read my mind. Everything._ She suddenly felt shy, wondering what he'd heard from her, what it made him think of her. Her younger self accepted it immediately. The relief in the incubus’ manner and his admiration were apparent.

It was humbling and a little off-putting at the same time. Mika wasn't used to admiration. Sure, Andrew would compliment her but it was different. She had sent Damien away. _But he’s right here, showing me all of this._ She couldn’t see him, but if she tried, she could feel him embracing her against the wall at the edge of her senses.

"I won't let you go. I promise." She could feel the words, a vow as he held her younger self to carry her back downstairs. Somehow, she knew he meant more than he wouldn't drop her.

Dinner had her inviting them to stay with her, at least until Malix was taken care of. She learned a little more of each brother, chuckling at Sam’s attitude, cringing at Erik’s flirting, smiling at how adorable Matthew was, and laughing as James waded through the morass of his brothers’ bickering, trying to hold onto his dignity in front of her. All of them were so vibrant, herself included.

Time flew forward and she and Damien were cleaning the lobby for a housewarming party her father insisted she host. Naturally she had talked Damien into sliding down the banister. Mika laughed and heard his distant chuckle in her ear when they ended up on the floor together. Her cheeks warmed in a pretty blush once more as the two watched each other, seeing their attraction. _There was something there, for both of us._

Another fast forward and the two of them were in her grandfather’s study. Damien was so intent on the books, his thirst for knowledge almost pitiful. “My mother was not a noble,” he sadly admitted. Mika’s heart went out while at the same time filling with pride. That boy in the study was now a man, a poet, a college graduate who sold books to others. He’d grown and was living what he had only dreamed of, before.

Mika saw the signs even before the young incubus groaned: his brow creased, his eyes wavering, his hand shaking. Her younger self knew Damien’s nature and wanted to help as he faltered from a lack of energy. _Just like when I wanted to help Sam._ The temptation hung in the air for the both of them and it was she who offered Damien their first kiss, though he almost panicked, trying to turn away.

 _Just like Sam. It isn’t about energy._ _All of the brothers have respected me, helped me, comforted me._ She thought of Matthew. _They aren’t trying to use me, they truly care for me._ And Mika felt even more foolish for the accusation she made against Damien: to reduce him to just an incubus. _I am making such a mess of this._

Still the same, her younger self insisted on helping and Damien couldn’t resist. He was gentle but passionate, thorough as he finally kissed her. She knew what it felt like, from the pasture and later in his apartment. Seeing it had Mika's stomach coiling, her desire flaring as she watched the two of them and remembered another time with him in the moonlight. There was no denying it; energy aside, Damien wanted to be her lover.

Warmth filled Mika, almost pulling her out of the spell. She swore she could feel Damien’s lips press against hers now as they did then, sharing their passion once more, hungrily kissing her in Erik's castle as he showed her these memories. It was an odd duality and she knew she was opening her mouth to him, kissing him back, sharing her energy now just as she did then. Still, she fought to hold on to the magic, to continue in the memory. She wanted to remember.

“Show me, Damien. Show me everything.” She spoke the words out loud, moaning them to him back in Erik’s castle.

Time flew and she saw him making her breakfast before school. He surprised her, whispering his name in her ear, promising he would come to her if she called, binding them together with his trust. “Izroul,” Mika whispered it aloud, knowing Damien heard her, only to hear her younger self shout it.

The next memory was a nightmare.

“Izroul!” The call of his name was answered with a flash. Mika shielded her eyes, blinking as she heard her younger self cry out. They were in an abandoned warehouse.

Mika's breath caught as she saw the devils circling, a younger Malix and his gang taunting her. They had found her, kidnapped her, and were going to kill her.

Young Damien answered the summons but this time, he was different. Cold animosity poured off of him in waves, his eyes furious as he saw Malix. Mika had seen a little of Damien’s dark side in his bedroom in Erik’s castle, but nothing prepared her for this. It had her shivering and she felt Damien pull away from her as he showed her this memory.

“No!” Mika couldn’t help the shout as Malix shot Damien in the face, even though he obviously lived through the fight. It took a moment for her to realize the bullet didn’t do anything. The demon still stalked the devil. An illusion? More appeared, circling Malix as Damien’s taunting echoed, reverberating.

“What’s wrong, Malix? Are you afraid of me now?”

Bullets flew, two of the devils dropping. One went through Mika’s ghostly form as she watched, almost breaking the spell as adrenaline flooded her. She gasped in reaction but didn’t feel a thing; the bullet was insubstantial. _It’s only a memory._

Her younger self moved back as the clones converged on the devil, Damien’s brothers appearing behind her as they summoned one another. And while Sam rushed to cover the younger Mika’s eyes to keep her from the horror, no one did so now.

Mika’s gut twisted as the first clone got a grip on Malix. The devil’s yelling turned to screams as his gun dropped. Damien’s tone was sadistic, demonic laughter echoing. No longer a human voice, it was the voice of a demon, terrifying Mika as well.

Malix’s screams of agony turned shrill. The clones’ eyes glowed purple with Damien’s power, a dark miasma of violence filling the air as blood sprayed. Bones broke and flesh rent as more of the clones reached him, the pieces burning away in their hands with purple flames. The smell was sickening. She had seen animals, predators, circling and taking down their prey, but this…Mika had never seen someone literally torn apart by another person.

It left her in a cold sweat, shaking and dizzy as James called for Damien to stop, to come out. The eldest brother cast a spell to dismiss the remains, letting Mika finally pull her eyes away from it, only to see Damien stepping out from the shadows.

Naked as his brothers had been in their demon forms, black ram’s horns curled from his temples, black stripes radiating out from his chest to wrap around him, more along his ribs and hips. They were such a contrast to his coppery hair, his angry purple-blue eyes. Matthew hurried to give him a potion, Sam still blocking her younger self from seeing until Damien’s glamour was back in place once more, though his voice still held a cold edge.

Swallowing hard, Mika stared. Damien wasn’t fazed at all by the bloody act. He had almost sounded gleeful when Raestrao finally stopped him. _He isn’t human,_ she admitted. _But he was protecting me._ Still, her heart wouldn’t calm down, she couldn’t catch her breath.

 _You saw James and Matthew cutting the devils down before Sam saved you,_ she reminded herself. But it wasn’t quite the same. It wasn’t this bloody, this dark.

Damien’s words from her grandfather’s study came back to haunt her. **Humans don’t hurt each other like demons do.** It was a naive thought. Humans hurt each other all the time. _They didn’t physically tear each other to shreds, enjoying it._ But verbally, mentally, humans did it and more.

Sam stepped away from her young self, the brothers circling her and leading her from the warehouse. Damien was silent as they escorted her home. Mika felt as numb as her younger self looked. 

Then Damien showed her that night.

“Should we be gone in the morning?” his younger self asked, making everyone recall the deal as they stood in the foyer. They would only stay until Malix was dealt with. The devil was dead, Mika safe once more.

The brothers looked to her, nervous, awaiting her answer. Seeing them, Mika’s heart reached out once more, despite the shocking scene she’d just beheld. James, Erik, Sam, Matthew, Damien…They had done so much for her. Once more they were just young men without a home, silently hoping that they’d finally found one, depending on her, needing her.

“I think that would be best.” And with those words, the Mika of the past sentenced them all to the future they now faced.  
  
Mika couldn't tell what her younger self was thinking as she turned Damien and his brothers away. Sam had spared her this memory but Damien didn't. She watched as they faced her younger self, her decision made, her mind set with a determined expression.

“Then we will be gone before you wake, miss,” James tried to accept it with aplomb. “Thank you for letting us stay here as long as we did.”

 _Oh, James_. Mika’s older eyes saw how he fought for composure, fought to stick to his word. It was painful to watch as he turned and walked away.

_Why am I doing this?_

“It was a pleasure to have served you, beautiful lady.” Erik’s words were flowery, but his eyes held pain at her rejection before he managed his sly smile once more. Expressions that Mika was all too familiar with, now. She reached for Erik’s hand as he passed on his way back to the guest rooms, only to have hers pass through him. She couldn’t stop them.

“I guess this is goodbye…Yeah. Have a good one.” For the first time, Sam’s voice was meek, his strength broken with his heart as she silently watched him go.

“Say something!” Mika screamed at herself, tears rising in her eyes. “You turn them away and you don’t even say goodbye?!” She could see it wasn’t easy for her younger self, her mouth a firm line, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge it, clearly dismissing them. “What are you thinking?!” she shouted.

“I can’t keep them here.” Damien’s voice whispered from what felt like miles away. He had heard her. “They’re demons and I’m human, Andrew’s human.” He was speaking her thoughts aloud.

“So? They’re demons, so what? They’re your friends!” Mika tried to grab herself, her hands going through her shoulders.

“Thank you for having us, miss.” It was Matthew’s turn. He sounded so young behind her, trying to be cheerful. Mika wheeled around to see the demon force a smile.

“I need to deal with my own life. If the boys stayed, my life would only be more complicated.” Damien ruthlessly continued.

“Complicated? Life is complicated!” Mika cried. “How can you be so selfish?!” But it was what Naomi had told her. She was. She was selfish.

“Maybe we’ll see each other again.” Matthew gave a small shrug before turning away as well.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Damien answered, his voice thick with the attitude Mika recognized from her youth.

“Stop it!” she yelled, “Bring them back!” But none of them could hear her.

There was only one incubus left in the lobby. Damien. Clenching her teeth, Mika turned back around to see him watching her younger self, the girl he had admired so much, the human he gave his name to. So many times he was stoic, neutral, calm, gentle. Mika could see him fighting his emotions as he choked out his response.

“Goodbye…” and he turned away, too.

Mika followed him, seeing herself go to bed, looking justified and proud. It made her feel sick.

Damien looked in on her one last time as she slept, standing in her doorway. She stepped into the bedroom, railing against the girl that went to sleep, accepting her choice without an inch of regret. The demon reached out as if to wake her and she found herself wishing he would. That he would wake her and show her how wrong she was, how much she meant to him.

But he didn't. James stepped up behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder to comfort and remind him of their promise. His other brothers passed Damien too, on their way out, glumly looking in at her once more before they left.

"Don't leave me!" Mika called but she was just a ghost watching a memory. She couldn't change anything. "Please..."

The last to go, Damien dropped his head and quietly closed the door, leaving her alone in the darkness.

Leaving her to Andrew and her choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit  
> You are the reason - Calum Scott  
> https://youtu.be/JcC5VGOx8I8


	30. Why is your violence still hurting me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezaeur's choices.

Uzaeris' lungs burned as he ran, his magic dangerously low from sending Ezaeur's soldiers back, pulling them from one battleground to drop them into another. His power almost faltered as he sent the last of their forces.

That his father dared to attack Lilith Castle, dared to attack Lilith's bloodline, was insane. And effective. Now, the Demon Lord’s army surged forward without opposition to flank the other rebel forces. It didn't matter. The fight on this field would not determine the war.

Uzaeris’ eyes lifted to see a bright flare of dragon fire, hearing the roar of his brother, Aomaris, the bellow of their father answering. Raestrao was yelling something as well. All of it was on the edge of his hearing, the fighting around him drowning them out.

He pushed himself to his limit, desperate to know what was happening. _Keep running._ The cliffs towered above on either side, the soldiers' battle left behind as he hurried. _Just over the rise._

_Almost there._

Ezaeur should have been fighting alongside Aomaris to help take down his father. Now, Uzaeris was all they could offer and while he could strike his father down without hesitation, the thought of Raestrao…

 _Aomaris won't kill him._ They would incapacitate him if necessary, but neither of them would take their older brother down if he gave them the choice.

_Finally._

He topped the rise. Finally, he had made it to his brothers.

Uzaeris skidded to a halt, the world going silent. Bloody sword in hand, Raestrao was staring back at him, chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath. Determination burned in every line of his brother's battered body as their father fell.

The Demon Lord's head dropped to the ground with a finality between them.

 _He’s dead!_ Uzaeris' heart lifted for a split-second before he saw the other body.

 _ **Aomaris.**_ Their brother lay dead at Raestrao’s feet as well. Uzaeris stared in horror as he saw the messy brown hair, the blank green eyes. A young voice rang in his ears, a memory …

"Zae! Zae, let's fight! Rae can't take us both." The little demon jumped up without warning, climbing to sit on his narrow shoulders as Uzaeris spun around, trying to stop him.

“Ao!” They were in the castle's courtyard, enjoying some fresh air and taking a break. The servants looked up and shook their heads but Uzaeris didn't care. He was only a year older but his growth hit early, making him almost as tall as Raestrao while Aomaris was still behind. Ao was a little bundle of rage that his older brothers found adorable, answering him with indulgence more often than not, to the little brute's frustration.

"Go get him!" Aomaris' heels kicked his chest to spur him on.

Raestrao was sitting under one of the trees, reading yet another book and pretending not to notice them. There was longing in their older brother's eyes but Father was always so strict with him and the tutors were watching.

"Father will get mad," Uzaeris attempted to explain, trying to pull his brother down off his lanky frame.

"You suck, Zae!" The little demon stood up on his shoulders and kicked him in the side of the head before jumping back down to the ground.

"Mother wishes," Uzaeris chuckled, rubbing his ear. He saw the big green eyes flash in annoyance, small hands fisting on hips. "We could find Zecaeru..." he offered his brother instead.

"He sucks, too! He’s just a mama's boy. If you won't fight Rae then I'll fight you!"

Aomaris leapt at him and it was on, the two of them wrestling with laughter and each other. Even Raestrao smiled.

Uzaeris’ brother wasn’t smiling now.

Raestrao reached down, not for their fallen brother but for the crown. He wasn't even looking at Aomaris. Their father was dead. Their brother as well. Raestrao was the new Demon Lord.

"Gather the leaders of the opposing kingdoms." His older brother's grim command cut through the remaining wisps of Uzaeris' memories, bringing him back to the battlefield, back to that gruesome sight, back to see the glint of gold on his brother’s brow. All that Raestrao wanted. "The war is over."

 **UZAERIS!!!** The summons from Ezaeur cracked his thoughts with such pain it tore through the incubus’ body like lightning. He had never heard her sound like that, never heard such agony, even with Saero's death. Ezaeur had never, ever, summoned him before.

 **Uzaeris!**  Her plea echoed in his bones.

Raestrao turned away from him, unable to hear it.

Unable to face his brother any longer, Uzaeris let the magic take him, rushing to answer his queen. And found himself in an even worse nightmare: the throne room of Lilith Castle. Blood painted the walls, pieces... Ezaeur stood in the middle of it all, alabaster pale, her eyes wide with shock.

Her parents.

Her little sister, Oribel.

Pieces.

Uzaeris could taste the magic on the air. Oribel had tried to fight. Though the young demoness was only just starting her magic training, she had tried to stand between the Demon Lord's soldiers and her parents. Overwhelmed, she had fallen and they had followed.

Uzaeris recognized his father's cruel tactics. The soldiers had followed the Demon Lord's instructions, thoroughly. 

"Ezaeur..." There were dead troops along with the guards. He could hear more of his father's soldiers approaching from down the hall. The sound of fighting in the courtyard came through the shattered windows. "Ezaeur, we have to stop them."

He knew what would follow, too. The Demon Lord's soldiers wouldn't leave anyone alive: not the servants, not the townsfolk, not even the farmers on the edges of the city. They would raze Lilith to the ground.

"I was too late," Ezaeur's voice was numb as she stood there. She couldn’t pull her gaze from what was left of her family. "How could they do this? Will they stop at nothing to defile and murder us all?"

"We have to-" Uzaeris put a hand on her shoulder. Only to be thrown back by her magic and into the broken remains of the room’s furniture as her power surged.

"He won't have it! None of them will!" the succubus shrieked, her demonic voice echoing.

Uzaeris barely had the time to shield when the room ignited, bursting into flame. The firestorm spiraled out from Ezaeur, flames rolling throughout the castle. The heat was so intense, Uzaeris could feel his clothes start to smolder, barely able to hold it back.

"Ezaeur!" The inferno roared over his cry. She wavered on her feet, dropping her own shield in the heart of the conflagration.

Uzaeris threw himself on top of her, using what remaining energy he had to teleport them outside, onto the road beyond the castle gates. Even there, it was barely far enough.

Everything within the walls was burning. The stones themselves were darkening and cracking. Friend or foe, anyone caught within that maelstrom wouldn't have even had the time to react before being incinerated as Ezaeur cremated her family.

Ash clung to the two of them, her body shivering in his arms, her hair and skin singed in the moment before he reached her. "Let go of me!" She roughly shoved him away.

Syllables poured from Ezaeur's lips, more magic weaving. The flames rose, fireballs jumping and flying past them. Uzaeris saw one strike a group of soldiers fighting in the distance. It flared, consuming the Demon Lord’s men, leaving only a cloud of ash blowing away from the Lilith guards.

"They will burn. All of them will burn with my family," the succubus cursed, her red eyes flaring brightly, hair whipping around her wildly.

 _You almost burned with them,_ Uzaeris thought, holding his tongue. A loud rumble sounded and he turned around to see one of the castle walls shift and fall, the stone crumbling away.

"Ezaeur, put the fire out!" he beseeched as the few servants who made it out of the walls gathered around to watch her silently. "You have defeated them. My father is dead! The Demon Lord fell in the final battle."

That made her stop. Ezaeur stared at him for a moment, shaking, then clapped her hands high above her head. Uzaeris and the others quickly shielded their eyes as a great windstorm blew up, stealing the air from the flames, smothering them quickly before disappearing to leave the world silent. Everyone stared in shock as the succubus dropped to the ground.

Uzaeris knelt beside her and saw the blood trickling from Ezaeur's nose, felt the heat pouring from her body as she shivered on the packed dirt, her eyes dull. He couldn't feel her magic. Switching to his mage sight showed the extensive damage within her.

 _She's burned herself out_ , he saw with dismay. Ezaeur had tapped into the power of the castle, itself. It was too much, the centuries of magic burning through her after all she had spent on the battlefield.

He looked over his shoulder at the smoking ruins of what had once been Lilith's castle. Its magic was gone. Only the faint glow of the workroom remained, the wards he had infused with his power, daily, to help protect the books. Some may have survived.

All of the other magic had gone into Ezaeur. Not even a scion of Lilith could handle all of it.

"The Demon Lord is dead?" the succubus asked as she struggled to her feet once more, drawing Uzaeris' attention back. More of her people were approaching, uneasy, waiting for his answer. More of the castle crumbled as the stones gave way. Ezaeur flinched in pain as if they were a part of her.

 _Perhaps they are,_ Uzaeris wondered. Ezaeur was it, the last of them, the last of Lilith's line.

Ezaeur was the single vessel left standing, much as Lilith, herself, had stood as the first demon at this very spot. The Mother's power had passed down to all of the demon races, spreading across the Plains with her children, but the most power had always remained in her line, in the succubi and incubi passing it from generation to generation. Her parents had been strong, Odette even stronger, and now it all converged into Ezaeur.

And she used it to destroy the castle and the Demon Lord's army.

"My Queen," Uzaeris knelt to her, bowing his head, everyone else rushing to do the same.

"Answer my question," Ezaeur commanded even as she wavered, weakness overcoming her, and he rushed to gently hold her up.

"My father is dead. I saw his head," letting her know the method of the tyrant's demise. Her and her people. There would be no more terror from the Demon Lord.

"And Raestrao?" she pressed, her hatred of his brother still just as strong. She never called him her husband, not since she had returned. Their joining was null and void in her mind. "Did he fall as well?"

"My brother has taken the crown."

"Aomaris let him?!" She could not believe it.

"He-The Dragon Lord fell in battle, the new Demon Lord defeated both," Uzaeris admitted, unable to keep the emotion from his eyes and he saw hers harden even more.

"Raestrao killed him?” Ezaeur almost sounded justified. “We have to prepare, the war will consume us otherwise-"

"No!" Uzaeris quickly interrupted. "Raestrao has declared the war over."

"And you think he will be satisfied with what he has now?" She glared, incredulous.

"I don't know but we have time, my queen. He is meeting with the other leaders, we will learn of his terms."

"Time?" Ezaeur barked a sour note of despondent sarcasm. Her eyes shifted to the ruins that had been her home, that was now her family’s tomb. "They have no more time.

"Odette-" The succubus tried to hold on but found herself crumbling into sobs, grieving the sister she had adored, the loving parents she lost.

Uzaeris numbly held her, mourning his brother and wondering what it was like to lose a father that cared.

*

The mid-morning sun shone brightly, warming the air and stone around them. Construction of the new castle was well underway. Several rooms were already built as Uzaeris and Ezaeur sat at a table on one of the freshly-made patios, potted flowers placed decoratively around them.

The queen was draped in blankets, though it was becoming warm once more. Uzaeris watched her from the corner of his eye, trying not to notice how gaunt she looked, how her hair fell limp down her back. She had yet to recover from the battle, from the effects of decimating the castle and invading army.

Saero's death had left Ezaeur furious and ready to fight, nothing would stop her from her revenge. This time, with the death of her family, it was the opposite. She was fading in front of their eyes. Most days Uzaeris could barely get her to respond, she was so lost in her thoughts. Her grief seemed to weigh heavier each day.

Sleep eluded her. She wouldn't touch his energy or anyone else’s, her iron will so strong the hunger never lit her eyes and he knew better than to try and seduce her. It was a struggle to get her to eat anything other than sweetflowers, a struggle that Uzaeris fought every day, insisting that she would recover with time.

They had all wanted to make today pleasant for her, Uzaeris arranging this morning tea to get her outside into the fresh air so she could see what her subjects were building for her. Finger sandwiches sat staling, warming in the sunlight. She wouldn't touch her cup, recognizing the brew and knowing who Uzaeris used to drink it with.

She did manage not to dash it to shards on the ground. An improvement, compared to the early weeks after the tragedy when anything reminiscent of his father or eldest brother was met with anger and violence. If it weren't for his healing powers, Uzaeris' skin would be covered with scars as well as his crimson stripes, her nails scoring him anytime he was within reach during one of her rages.

Now, however, she sat silent and sullen more often than not. He almost wished for her anger to return. At least it would be something compared to the quiet apathy she exhibited now.

He stood, checking the drawings he’d laid out on the table before him. Studying the castle, he marked their progression. Teams were working up on the scaffolding, laying the roof tiles, setting the facade and windows. The building was a blending of human technology and demon. Later, he would infuse the new walls with some of his magic, setting the foundation for the wards and spells they would employ.

"Everyone is working so hard," Uzaeris commented, pointing out the obvious in an attempt to rouse Ezaeur into small talk and praise those within earshot. "We'll be able to move back in, soon. A home worthy of my queen." He smiled optimistically, his mask firmly in place for her.

"I do not understand why you are even bothering. He will only take it from us." Ezaeur growled her answer, not even looking at the new castle forming in front of them. _It isn’t my home._ Her home was ash, along with her family and love.

"Raestrao agreed to leave the Lands of Lilith to you," Uzaeris insisted once more, the argument already old considering how many times they'd had it. "You know as well as I, he keeps his word."

"You mean he is leaving Lilith to you," she snapped. "It is only because you are here that he avoids us. He wouldn't hesitate to take it from me."

Uzaeris looked away. He knew it was true. With Ezaeur burned out, there was no way they could have held the Demon Lord's armies back if Raestrao wanted the kingdom. It would be years before she could wield her full power reliably again and Uzaeris had a sinking suspicion that she didn't want to.

Ezaeur had disappeared for a time, shortly after the war. He thought she left to mourn in private, covering for her while Shadow negotiated the peace treaty with the new Demon Lord. But his queen had returned even weaker, her energy so faint it was a miracle she was standing at all and her misery so sharp her tongue cut his heart to the core in an attempt to drive him away.

Even still, he remained.

One of the gardeners approached hesitantly, eying the queen. A broad-brimmed straw hat blocked the sun from his eyes, his goat-like horns protruding up through it. He crumpled the piece of parchment he carried between his hands.

"Yes?" Uzaeris asked with a gentle smile for the demon as Ezaeur refused to speak.

"My lord, the plans for the gardens are complete. Would my queen like to view them?" The servant's voice was hopeful.

"Of course." Uzaeris held a hand out, clearing space on the table for the watercolored drawing of the surrounding grounds.

"My son made that," the demon admitted proudly. "From the designs you gave us. There were a few flowers we thought would fit it perfectly, that would rotate in and out with the seasons."

Uzaeris gave a nod as he studied it, his brows lifting at the splashes of colors and intricate details. Miniature renditions of each of the flowers adorned the entire border of the map, showing the cascading colors throughout the year. He made a mental note to speak with the gardener later and commission some paintings for the castle from his son, including another, larger version of this map. He could hang it in one of the halls beside the windows that would overlook the flowerbeds.

"Thank you.” He met the demon's eyes with sincere gratitude. “I have no doubt they will be beautiful. Let me know if there is anything you need to make these a reality. We are most excited to see them come to life."

Pleased, the demon bowed low to them both, happily hurrying off, his mind already churning with plans as Uzaeris dismissed him.

"Why won't all of you leave me alone?" Ezaeur bitterly asked under her breath.

"Because we live to please you," Uzaeris reminded her, again. And he would continue to do so every day until it could finally sink in.

"Please me? My heart has died. I have nothing left to give you. Why have you stayed with me? Why do you persist in this farce? I can offer you nothing."

"I am not asking for anything, my queen." He met her eyes, letting his mask slip just a little, "Except that you allow time to do its job."

"And what job is that? To wear away at my memories? Dull my pain so I lose even that last part of them?" she whispered in despair.

Uzaeris dropped his head. He'd lost two of his brothers to the human world, Sam to Raestrao's tyranny, and Raestrao to their father's. The only love he had left was a girl made of dreams inside his head, the real one probably married happily to the man she really wanted.

"Let me go, Uzaeris," his queen commanded quietly.

"No.” He reached for her hand, squeezed it before she pulled it away. “You can survive this. We need you. There is still so much here for you, if you would only see it."

*

Ezaeur only grew quieter, thinner, terrifying Uzaeris when he looked her: the strongest queen he'd ever known, now reduced to haunted eyes and taut skin stretched over sharp bones.

That was until he finally moved her back into the castle. When she saw the new throne room, carefully reproduced by the craftsmen and artisans of the land, she spared him a grudging nod. Ezaeur's spirits lifted further when she saw the ballroom and library, the dining room. The artwork on the walls, the chandeliers, the lush carpets and curtains with plentiful windows; such elegance paid proper homage to Lilith and her family. It was a worthy home for the most royal of demonic bloodlines.

Uzaeris found her studying in their workroom once more, reading rather than casting. Her appetite returned, to the cook's delight and Uzaeris' relief. And sleep returned once more, her dreams quieting, so he left her to them after a cursory glance each night.

Fall rolled into winter and while her magic remained hindered, Ezaeur's energy returned. He did not see her consuming the Kingdom of Lilith's sweetflowers as frequently but knew she took no lovers, feeding off the energy of the court he had cultivated for her. The Consort title was still his, after all, the nobles still giving him the courtesy, though Shadow watched him sharply. For Uzaeris, it didn't matter that he wasn't in her bed, she was returning to them as he had hoped and prayed.

Until that evening.

The dining room glittered around them, the members of the court glittering as well. Human clothing was coming into style: exotic and alluring. The demon Runners jumping between the two worlds smuggled jewelry and accessories, most anything they could get their hands on and carry, at a high cost for the nobles. And while the half-succubi and incubi could create the illusion of jewelry with their glamours, to have a solid, real piece of human craftsmanship was the height of couture.

Uzaeris continued to uphold the royal tradition of nudity, though that evening he had opted for ornamentation. Earrings sparkled in his lobes and shone golden along the edge of one ear. An elegant gold cuff wrapped around one bicep, bracelets at his wrists. And his horns? Elegant gilt whorls like a fine filigree were painted over the deep red ridges, along their curling length. He had one of his servants, a new girl who was a true artist, paint them from a design of his own creation that afternoon. The experience was one of the most sensual he'd ever known as the silky brush stroked them. Exquisite delight he indulged in for hours, the marks left for all to see.

It was already the talk of the court, their sexual energy electric around him; a new fashion that only the Consort would dare in public with his blatant sexuality shining boldly. The golden rings around his member were considered demure compared to this. But there was no doubt that behind closed doors, many would be experimenting tonight and once they did, Uzaeris knew this particular fancy would stick in the boudoirs.

The demons of the court weren't the only ones to take notice, either.

"Uzaeris." At the soft call of his true name, he turned to find himself face to face with his queen. Ezaeur's eyes shone, intense red meeting his.

"My queen..." his voice faded in surprise, his mouth going dry as she studied him. Once more he was reminded of her on the battlefield, worried about him. It had been the one time she let her own mask slip and revealed she cared for him. This time...Uzaeris’ heart pounded in his chest, his eyes giving a quick flare of gold before he could blink it back. This time, there was no mistaking Ezaeur's hunger.

 _For me._ The entire court was silent, staring at them.

"You are my consort. Take me to bed, Uzaeris." Ezaeur commanded.

Completely shocked, he almost stumbled awkwardly to obey but then his mother's teachings kicked in. For the first and only time in his life, Uzaeris was grateful for his mask and the manners she gave him, for his capability to control his body and please his partner, no matter his own mental state.

Taking a deep breath, he smiled lightly and smoothly rose to offer her his arm. "Of course,” as if it were only natural for his queen to want his service. He guided her as if they were taking a leisurely stroll past the entire table. All heads turned to follow them, a rising tide of whispers in their wake.

Climbing the stairs, Uzaeris couldn't keep himself from glancing at Ezaeur out of the corner of his eye. He forced himself to maintain a slow ascent. She was still recovering, her cheeks a little pale, her mouth pursed as she kept her eyes on the stairs and watched her step, but her hand was steady on his arm.

They walked the rest of the way with the servants watching their backs until they entered her suite and the door closed behind them.

"My queen-" Uzaeris turned to address her as she let go of him, watching her walk past, towards her bedroom.

 _Does she mean it?_ He couldn't believe it. Not after Saero. Not after everything that had happened.

Ezaeur looked back over her shoulder at him. The soft curtain of her red hair swayed, the locks covering one eye. "Come with me," she patiently instructed without waiting for him to follow.

 _She wants me._ A flood of joy threatened but he held it back. This was Ezaeur. She never wanted him before. He had kept himself from dreaming of this moment, never believing it would happen. _Follow her._

He entered the room to see her pausing at her vanity, lifting a perfume bottle, her back to him.

"Lie down." Setting the bottle down, she faced him and gestured towards the bed.

"Are you sure?" Uzaeris let his confusion show. They were alone, behind closed doors, private as only a queen's chamber might be. She could be honest with him.

Ezaeur gave a hard swallow and tilted her head up, shaking her hair back from her eye. "Why wouldn't I be?" she asked in return, almost choking on the last word before reaching for a glass of water beside her.

"But... Saero-"

Coughing in the midst of drinking, she turned on him. "DO NOT SAY HIS NAME!" she bellowed the command, too late to interrupt him, her voice echoing.

Uzaeris flinched, his hands going up in a placating gesture. "I'm sorry-"

"No!” she yelled, then held herself back, forcing herself to calm for him. “No. I am the one who is sorry, Uzaeris.” She set the crystal glass down and approached him. “Sorry that you have been caught up in the middle of all of this when you deserve better. Sorry that you have been neglected for so long while caring for me. Your faith in me has been humbling, to say the least," she admitted as she stepped up to him.

"I don't understand." It was hard for him to look her in the eyes. His mask had dropped away and he couldn't find it, his heart racing once more at her words.

"You will." Nails that had scratched before tenderly brushed his bangs back from his face. "I have been wrong and it is difficult for me to admit it."

"No-" A finger pressed his lips to silence.

"I am aware of what you have sacrificed, what you have done for me." She continued to look up at him, her body moving closer. Her other hand trailed down his abs and he drew a quick breath. "You saved me from the hell that was the Demon Lord's castle. You fought for me and my people against your own family. You fought once more to rebuild, to bring me back from my darkness, to begin again."

Ezaeur brushed his mouth with her thumb, her palm caressing his cheek gently. Her touch was electric, sending pangs of desire through his body as she continued. "You have done all of this while I have given you nothing but hardship."

"That isn't true," Uzaeris insisted, trapped by her gaze, his guard completely gone. "You allowed me to stay. You... You kept me, Ezaeur." He had a home and a place where he belonged. _At your side._ Uzaeris laid his hand over hers, holding it tighter against his cheek. "You care for me." He knew it.

The succubus gave him a tired, sad smile. "It's not enough. Not enough by far. I wish I could repay you." She turned about and taking his hand, drew him to her bed. "Will you serve me, Uzaeris? Will you serve your queen tonight?"

**_My queen._ **

Uzaeris' gaze ran over her face, his heart lodged in his throat, his mind blanking at the dream she was offering him here in reality. Ezaeur stepped up and kissed him and his world tilted as he fell.

He barely felt her shove, only the feeling of the pillows on the bed catching him. She climbed atop him, her fingers combing through his hair and brushing over his horns, tracing the golden patterns, triggering his lust.

Their eyes opened to gold, his and hers, enthrallment rolling through the both of them. A tightening at the base of his spine, a coiling in her belly, pleasure washed over them in waves as Ezaeur straddled his hips.

"My queen," he gasped as she sunk down on top of him. Succubus and incubus, there was no need for a slow seduction and neither wanted to wait. Her hips rocked against his as her body undulated above him.

"Uzaeris," she whispered his name, claiming him, and his heart soared as he thrust into her. She swept her hair back and bent down to take his mouth as she rode him, his hands filling with her breasts.

Uzaeris' skills came back to him, his desire to please her surging through him as their energy spiraled around the room, feeding each other. Drawing Ezaeur down against him, he rolled them over. Still inside her, he shifted his queen onto her back and braced himself over her, one hand kneading her breasts as he slowed to a gentler rhythm to savor her. He wanted to feel her wanting him, wanted to hear her moan his name and see her pleasure rise for him again and again.

For the first time, no other invaded Uzaeris' thoughts. Mika was far away. And Ezaeur... Ezaeur was now his.

She was everything he ever wanted, reaching for him. Her hands gripped his back, her thighs circling his waist, her body embracing his, stroke for stroke, with such intimacy. Their tongues twined along with their bodies and their energy.

Ezaeur ran her nails lightly down his shoulder blades, little frissons of pleasure coursing through him, then suddenly bucked her hips, lifting him with the force, rolling them again, once more taking the dominant position.

She broke their kiss off. "Would you do anything for me?" she asked down at him, her hands resting on his chest as she leaned over him, her body rising and falling, increasing the pace, driving him mad. Her eyes glowed fiercely with purple and gold. "Would you do anything for me, Uzaeris?" she asked again as he fought to speak.

"Anything!" _Anything except stop. Anything except let you go. Anything except leave you._ Surprised, he realized he could taste her magic on the air, mixing with their musk. It buzzed over his skin, her lips moving as if speaking, though he heard no words. Her magic… it was returning. His hands slid down her ribs to squeeze her hips, her ass, his own pumping harder to meet her as she rode. "I would do anything. Everything."

"Then let me do this." Her eyes flared with her enthrallment, overpowering him as a ward flared to life around the bed.

Uzaeris’ mind blanked but for the desire, the pleasure, the sheer lust as his queen's body took him. Her voice rose in Latin, phrases he couldn’t follow as she raised up over him, arching back and riding him with a rhythm that echoed the wild pulsing of their heartbeats.

His hold was slipping. He broke out in a sweat as he struggled to keep control, straining to hold his release at bay, to let her have as much pleasure as she wanted. Air hissed in and out between his teeth, his head slamming back into the pillows. A small cry passed Uzaeris' lips as he clenched his eyes shut.

The sudden pull on his energy was excruciating. It wasn’t the feel of his queen feeding, instead, he felt it being torn out of him and screamed in pain. A hand gripped his throat and Uzaeris' eyes flew open in panic to see the succubus atop him: all curves and wanton desire, a feral smile beneath blazing golden eyes as her magic held him.

_**She's draining me!** _

"No…" He managed the word, his vision graying around the edges. It felt as though his soul were being ripped out.

Perhaps it was.

"No!" He surged up from the bed, calling his own magic, everything within him propelling him to fight even as his will to do so was rapidly dwindling.

He rolled them once more, pinning Ezaeur down on the mattress as her eyes went wide, wrenching his energy back. It rushed to return and his own eyes flared. The need to survive overtook him and he felt the incubus inside of him roar.

Uzaeris lost it. He lost control, pounding into her as she laughed beneath him, taking everything he could as his enthrallment claimed them both, overpowering her. Ezaeur’s energy rushed through him, exhilarating, driving him on.

"Yes!" she cried out beneath him, her body bucking wildly as she met his, her pleasure hitting his senses. Her magic flared through him, not with pain but with power as it followed her energy.

_So much power._

Uzaeris was mindless, an incubus fighting from the brink of extinction, filling himself on the energy of a queen. Ezaeur's body tightened, the wet slide within her begging him to drive deeper. The sound of their flesh joining was music to his ears.

"Take it, Uzaeris. Take all of it," she goaded him on, gold filling his senses.

He growled low, feral, feeling an odd snap within him as more power rushed in. Not at the base of his spine, his body wasn't ready to release them, yet. But at his shoulders. Cold air blew over his back with an odd stretch of the muscles.

Ezaeur was slowing beneath him, no longer meeting his pace, her body shivering and tightening around him. Magic roared through Uzaeris again, with a final flood of Ezaeur's energy as she peaked, crying out, releasing in a rush of ecstasy with such force her body bowed beneath him. He came with a flood, his own cry answering hers as her body peaked a second time before dropping limp beneath him.

"Magnificent," she breathed, looking up at him.

Uzaeris opened his eyes and the entire world was golden. Ezaeur lay spent, weakly smiling up at him.

"You're one of us now. One of Lilith's children." Her speech was slurring, her head dropping into the pillows.

"Ezaeur?" He knelt back from her, out of her, his brows knitting, confused as the room spun around him. She looked so pale. "Ezaeur, what have you done?" he gripped the sheets on either side of them, his balance off, his ears roaring. His magic started screaming and burning inside of him, his skin too tight. "What have you done to me?"

The castle felt alive around him. His mage sight kicked in of its own accord, showing the golden power radiating from his hands and arms as he stared down at them. And the pitch black coursing through his queen.

Uzaeris stumbled away from the bed, clutching his head. "What have you done?!" his yell echoed through the room. He blinked hard to clear his sight as her voice reached him.

"I'm done." It was calm, patient, almost tender. "It's all yours: the castle, the power, the magic, the legacy. You upheld it, protected it, cherished it; and now it is yours, what’s left of it."

"Poison…" He had seen it spreading through her body, killing her. "You took poison?!" He choked on a sob, staring at her in disbelief.

"Demonsbane. You can't heal it; don't even try." Ezaeur looked up at the ceiling. How many times had she looked up at the ceiling while Saero was in her arms? _I've betrayed him, bedding the son of his murderer._ Her heart struggled to beat from more than just the toxins spreading through her veins.

"My happiness is gone,” her voice was sharp with bitterness, growing faint in her ears, “Given away in my ignorance, my arrogance, my pride at being benevolent to a slip of a girl. I was a fool."

"What do you mean?" Uzaeris clenched his fists, fighting to contain everything within him as his senses stretched. His body was changing, his magic changing, his head pounding. His mind fought the pressure. Hunger dug deep like a feral animal and pulled all of the power with it, pulling his queen's energy into the hole it made within him. A darkness created by pride and betrayal, born from death and encased in heart-breaking allure.

"He thinks to take it but he will not take it from you." Ezaeur's mind finally quieted in relief, her limbs heavy, the room darkening around her. Somehow, she'd thought it would be more painful.

"No!" Uzaeris rushed to her side to see the light leave Ezaeur’s eyes, to see his reflection in them, the shadow of the wings arching up from his back.

She felt the world slipping away and smiled up at him in satisfaction. Only then did the pain come, the price for her freedom, the penance for her betrayal. The last Queen of Lilith's screams echoed with Uzaeris' cries.

She was right; he could do nothing to save her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit  
> She and her darkness - Diary of Dreams  
> https://youtu.be/yRXpnXRKM40


	31. Take my hand and bring me back.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reconcilliations

"Don't leave me," Mika repeated under her breath, hanging her head as the spell released her. Her mind spun with vertigo as the real world returned. She swayed, her knees going weak, fighting to open her eyes.

"I will never leave you," Damien fiercely whispered, his head pressing into the side of hers. Hands that she had watched rip apart a devil, gently held her up as she faltered. She could feel him trembling with her.

"Why?” her voice cracked from despair. “Why are you even talking to me? You heard my thoughts." Her arms dangled limply at her sides, not touching him.

"You thought you were making the right choice," Damien insisted, his embrace tightening. _Hold me. Please._

"I was wrong. Let go of me." She finally did touch him but placed her palm flat against his chest, pushing him away. He was brushing against her sports bra as they breathed, one arm circling her bare waist, the other her shoulders, skin to skin. It made her uncomfortable, rubbing her the wrong way, distracting her as she fought her guilt, fought to focus.

Mika’s demand startled him. She stood up straight as he stepped back. Losing even the physical connection between them, he felt as if he were plummeting once more.

"How did I forget, Damien? All of you left but Sam said I chose to forget. How could I? Did you come back? Did Erik return and make me forget?" She recalled Erik’s offer from her first night in Lilith castle.

"No, it was Diana." He watched her warily.

"Diana? James' wife?" Mika vaguely remembered hearing the name, the pieces coming together for her a little more. "The one who left him?"

Damien nodded. "She came to the human world to bring us back and marry James. We didn't know at the time but without at least one of us living with you, we couldn't leave you in the human world with the knowledge of demons and devils."

"Why not?" Mika pushed away from the wall, picking the blanket up off the floor and wrapping it around her shoulders, grounding herself a little more as it warmed her.

"The angels wouldn't allow it." Damien looked down, unable to meet her gaze, wondering what each answer was doing to her. To them.

"There are angels, too?" It made sense but was almost heart-stopping to hear. _And what about now?_ Would she have to forget them again? Mika shook her head; she was getting ahead of herself. "How do you know that I chose to forget all of you? Did Diana tell you?"

"I read Diana's mind," he reminded her. In the hotel, he had heard it all. Even that the demoness had been the cause of Harold Anderson's death, the start of it all. The reason for Mika being at the mansion and why he and his brothers were drawn there as well. "She gave you a choice. If you let her erase your memories and take your magic, you could be normal and live happily with Andrew. Or she would erase your memories by force and leave you to fate.

“You chose the first," he quietly admitted. "You couldn't have stopped her; she would have killed you if you tried."

Mika stared at Damien. It wasn't what she'd expected and yet was exactly what her younger self had wanted. She would have chosen it. She would have chosen to forget them.

But the boys? Matthew had been working at Anderson Toys for years. She didn’t see him again until after Andrew’s death. While Damien had attended her University; they’d spoken of it in his apartment. “You stayed. You and Matthew remained in the human world.”

Damien’s gaze flicked up from the floor at his brother’s name, watching her from beneath his bangs. “I couldn’t leave you; what if something happened to you?”

 _What if something happened? He was watching out for me?_ It made Mika pause, made her see him in a new light. _All these years, he was there while I was with Andrew._  
  
"You didn’t leave me.” It was a revelation. "If I forgot you, if I was happy with Andrew, why did you stay?" He saw a flare of purple across her eyes, startling him; felt her energy give a tug, locking his gaze on hers. “Why did you stay with me, Izroul?” She used his name, his true name.

"Harold commanded me to," the words escaped his lips for the first time, ever. In that bedroom, over her sleeping form, the spirit had asked, bade him stay with her, to be there for her, with both his true name and his magic. Just as Mika demanded an answer from him, now; powerless, he had to obey.

"My grandfather made you?" Mika almost lost her footing, quickly moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"It wasn't like that!" Damien dropped down on one knee at her feet. "He didn't mean it that way!"

"But he forced you?" She looked down at him, searching his eyes. She looked so sad. "His magic made you stay with me?"

"I wanted to," Damien insisted, willing sincerity into every part of his being, begging for her to see it. "I didn't have to obey him once his spirit passed on after Malix’s death. Mika, I chose to stay."

"You wanted to? How can you expect me to believe that?" She shook her head. "You heard my thoughts. That I chose to drop all of you just because you were different from me, that I'm human and you're not."

"Yes." He reached up and laid a hand over hers on the bed. "And I understand. Being human is all I've ever wanted to be."

“Then why didn’t you tell me?" Mika murmured under her breath. "You stayed, you went to my school. Why didn't you ever even talk to me?"

“I tried.” He reached up and she found herself drawn into the past once more, Damien recalling that day on campus when he finally approached her. The time that finally crushed him, that finally made him walk away. Mike watched blindly, tears in her eyes.

Damien blinked and took a deep breath, careful with his magic to let go of her gently this time. He was shaking in reaction to it, remembering it all. Falling for her all over again, hoping all over again, and rejected once more.

"I didn't know," she breathed. The spell... It didn't even let her remember it.

"Of course not." Damien stepped away, summoning his shirt as the room’s chill overtook him.

 _What if she never comes back? What if she chooses to stay with Sam? With Erik?_ He couldn't let Mika slip away, not when she was so close. Not when at least one brother lurked out there to catch her again. But he didn’t know how to keep her. He could hear nothing but their breathing and the crackle of the fire.

He slid the red fabric on, buttoning each button carefully. Looking back from the corner of his eye, he saw her studying him, frowning. Even now, she was the most beautiful person in the world. _I told James she would hate him. Does she hate me, too?_ He couldn’t face it. Instead, he moved to build the fire back up.

 _I've been terrible,_ Mika thought as she watched him. Even now, she didn't know what to do. _At least he can read my thoughts._ Somehow, the idea of him being able to do so was becoming a comfort rather than a fear. Maybe between the two of them, they could sort her out, together.

 **I don’t want to be friends**. She remembered his previous admission, flinching. She didn’t blame him.

"Damien... Is it over?"

"Over? It?" He looked back at her as he crouched in front of the fireplace, his brow furrowed.

Mika took a deep breath. It was his apartment all over again. She wanted to run. She wanted to stay, too. "Us," she made herself say it.

"Us-" His head shot up and he whipped about to face her, looking completely lost. He couldn't keep up. He couldn’t focus. How was he supposed to do this? _What does that word mean to her?_

"You said you didn't want to be friends," she answered sadly. "But right now, it's what I need the most." The air was anything but clear between her and his brothers. She wasn't even sure who she was anymore, stretched across two worlds, feeling like she didn't belong in either. _But I felt like I belonged with him._ If ever there was a chance, she needed his friendship first. “I... I should go." Mika jumped up from the bed, losing her nerve and fleeing for the door.

 _She's leaving again!_ Damien whirled around, his hand catching her wrist, pulling her to a stop before she could reach the door. This time she wasn’t shielded against him, didn’t force him away.

"Wait! Please!" he pleaded and she paused, turning back. "I do want to be friends. I'm sorry... I'm not feeling well."

Mika’s look changed, her eyes softening. _You only just healed him! Of course he isn’t feeling well and using his powers to show you all of those memories, too! What if it hurt him?_ "I can help," she offered, calling up her healing magic.

Damien gasped as her eyes flashed white and he let go, taking a step back. He thought he saw it before, was surprised when she commanded him. Now he knew. "Your magic... It's back."

"Yes," she gave a small proud smile. "Erik has been teaching me. We healed you together."

 _We_. It had him dropping his head again. **We.** _Sam showed me. Erik taught me. Matthew fucked me. James is perfect._ What could he do? What could he possibly do? Damien’s anger reared again and he bit his tongue, hard, to keep from snapping at her.

Mika's eyes went wide seeing the flash of pain. "Damien! Why did you do that? What's wrong?"

He shook his head, clenching eyes and fists. He could feel himself on the edge, everything rushing back. Their betrayal… _I'm losing it. I'm losing her._ He always thought he would drown in the voices of others, swept away by all the thoughts around him. Instead, he was suffocating in silence. It was too much. He felt his eyes flare with gold behind his lids, felt his hunger rising with his desperation. “No!”

"Damien..." Mika moved closer. He heard her and stumbled, hitting the side of the bed and letting out a cry. "It's okay." Mika took one of his clenched fists in her hands, feeling him jerk with a start, struggling to pull away.

“No!”

"Izroul," it felt right to use his demon name. Her other hand brushed his cheek. He froze at the sound of his name, at her caring touch. "Calm down." With her mage sight, she saw his weakness. Sam had been deficient in energy, his health flagging; Damien was completely starved, an incubus that wasn't consuming any.

He stayed still, shivering with emotion. "I... I can't... I can't hear you," he ground it out through clenched teeth, startling her from her discovery.

"You can't hear me?" Mika tilted his head up and he let her, met her eyes as she searched his.

"I can hear you but I can't HEAR you. Your thoughts! I don't know what you're thinking. I don't know what to do!" He was panicking almost as badly as she had in his apartment.

 _His mind reading isn't working?_ Mika blinked and studied him at a different level, seeing the shield, seeing Erik's signature locking Damien’s power away.

 _Why would Erik do this? He doesn't want Damien to be able to read minds?_ She couldn’t help but feel uneasy about it, wondering at the Lord of Lilith’s motives but this was his castle. She would have to ask him. Until then, she couldn’t remove it; she didn't know how. But seeing how upset Damien was, she couldn’t leave him in the dark.

“You’re shielded. I think it was so we could heal you,” she offered.

“A shield?” Damien paused, the fear draining out of him.

“Yes,” Mika hugged him, hoping it would give him some energy.

Instead, it had Damien jumping at the contact. He lost his balance, inadvertently falling back on the bed and pulling her with him. Mika let loose a startled cry and landed on top of him.

"I'm sorry!" He rushed to apologize as she looked down into his indigo eyes, his bangs falling back to reveal the same embarrassment she had witnessed in the boy in her grandfather’s study.

"I am too." She smiled softly.

"You are?" Damien blinked and she nodded.

"No more sorries, remember?” she gently reminded him. “But I am sorry I ran from you. I wanted to call you, text you, but I was such a mess."

“It’s alright,” Damien said it for both of them. “It’s alright.” He hugged her then, both quiet until Mika shifted uneasily.

“I need time.”

“It’s yours.” He let her go but Mika only moved to lay beside him on the bed once more.

“Can we start over?” She studied him, wondering if she dared to hope. “I want to start over again.”

“I do, too.” He almost couldn’t believe it but then she was leaning forward to kiss him lightly on the cheek, biting her bottom lip as she slowly withdrew back to a safe distance.

“I won’t stay the night.” She saw the disappointment he struggled to quell. “It’s too tempting. You’re too tempting,” she clarified and saw his eyes light with understanding, his smile slowly returning as he studied her.

“I need to get control of my life before I can share it with anyone.” She needed to figure things out or they would only suffer from more misunderstandings. “But we can talk for a little while,” she offered.

“I’d like that.” And he did. She was offering the chance once more. He couldn’t hear her thoughts but he could have sworn he heard her heart.

They sat and talked until she grew drowsy, keeping the conversation light between them. Damien learned of Mika’s magic lessons, about how worried she’d been about him. She brought his brothers up but he pushed the anger, the bitterness away. That was between him and them. Now, he had Mika’s attention. Now, their past had returned and he would build their friendship until it was so much more. No one would keep him from it.

“I hope you’re feeling better,” she asked with a yawn, weariness overtaking her.

“I’m alright now, thanks to you.” He walked her to her door, false dawn starting to lighten the windows behind the curtains of the hallway.

"May I?" Damien leaned down a little closer and Mika's heart raced as she looked up at him. He stopped, only a centimeter away from her. Waiting for her, waiting for her decision.

"Yes," she whispered. "There's something about you; it feels right when we're together," the thought escaped her in her fatigue and she blushed.

“Because it is.” Damien leaned down the rest of the way, brushing his lips against hers as Mika's eyes slid closed. He didn’t enthrall her, didn’t draw on her energy. It was gentle and rich with feeling.

“Take it, Damien,” she pressed, gripping his shoulders and kissing him back. “I know you need it.” She heard his low hum, felt him give in, felt the smooth pull of her energy, and sighed. Her thoughts were golden as he released her and she bit her bottom lip as she sleepily bid him goodnight before leaving for her bed.

Damien turned away from the closed door, his heart soaring once more, only one thought in his mind: **We could be.**

*

  
Uzaeris finished speaking, picking up the crystal wine glass beside his chair that he'd filled over an hour before. His eyes finally left the fireplace's flames to look across the room up at his brother. He was surprised that Raestrao had remained silent the entire time.

The tall Demon Lord stood before the closed glass balcony doors, arms folded. The courtyard was dark and Uzaeris knew that wasn't what held his brother's attention. He knew the look on Raestrao's face: stoic on the outside, controlled, but roiling within. The firm press of his lips together gave it away.

Once behind closed doors, the two had dropped their glamours and Uzaeris found himself telling his brother everything. Everything from the moment he found Ezaeur in the throne room after Saero's death to the moment the dawn broke and he watched her body finally fade from the bed that was behind them. He confessed everything, wanting nothing more between them. If Raestrao didn't believe him or chose to strike him down in his judgment, he would do so with full knowledge.

Tired, his voice nearly hoarse, the incubus sipped his wine without even tasting it. In the years since, he'd come to understand Ezaeur more than he ever thought he would and more than he ever wanted to.

Raestrao shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He made himself listen while Uzaeris spoke, taking it in with an impassive ear, trying to ignore the random comments his mind made in sarcasm or disbelief.

Yes, they were brothers and yes, they were talking in an attempt to clear some of the misunderstandings between them but they were still the Demon Lord, still, the Lord of Lilith and there were leagues and years and the kingdoms' rivalry between them. They may forego the proprieties, but they could not change the facts.

 _Remember that,_ Raestrao reminded himself as he watched his brother reflected in the glass. The distance between them was still too far to easily reach across.

"Ask. I know you have questions." Uzaeris spoke over the rim of his glass. His eyes were dry and itchy and he rubbed them, wishing his brother would speak. But of them all, Raestrao was the least likely to blurt out his thoughts and the last to let his feelings control his reactions. He would speak when he was ready.

_And God help me._

"You cultivated the rumors." Raestrao finally accused him. "You used your reputation to imply you seduced Ezaeur, purely to make me think it. Am I to believe that you, her consort, never in all that time touched her?" He looked back over his shoulder at his brother.

"You didn't either." Uzaeris met his gaze.

The Demon Lord flushed; Ezaeur would have told his brother that detail. Only once had she joined with him in his bed, right after their return from the human world. While technically, physically, they had managed to seal their marriage, neither walked away even remotely satisfied or having enjoyed any of it.

They never tried again, never bonded. He didn't trust her. She would have used the bond to manipulate him or steal his energy.

"I knew she would try to drain me." Raestrao turned away from the window, feeling justified.

"She didn't try to drain me," Uzaeris insisted. He had thought it, too, initially when it happened. Before he found her note. "She goaded me into draining her. She tricked me into taking her energy and used it to make me a true incubus."

"And helped the poison take her faster," Raestrao pointed out.

"Yes." Uzaeris flushed. 

"Leaving you with all of her responsibilities." Raestrao gave a dry snort. He lifted a hand as he saw Uzaeris' anger building. "After all she said, manipulating me to make us leave the human world and return with her, I am entitled to judge her."

Back then, it wasn't about him returning for the kingdom, though he hadn't known it at the time. It was about him returning for her, to make her his Queen, not knowing his father would never give her any power. "She never cared for me." His gaze shifted to his brother. 

"Don't say it." The incubus' eyes bored into his. "I know." _She never cared for me, either._

"Uzaeris-"

"Did it ever occur to you why the two of you never bonded?" The incubus rose from his chair, the wine glass dangling from his fingers.

"She didn't trust me."

"She was already bonded." Uzaeris saw his brother's brows lift. _You never suspected?_ "Ezaeur and Saero were in love at first sight. There was no room for any other." He spoke the line just as he remembered reading it in her note:

 _Uzaeris,_  
_I know what I must do to keep Lilith safe and maintain the legacy, the last that I have in this world and the least that I want. What I did I did with full knowledge and awareness._

_Know this: There is no room in my heart for any other than Saero; do not think there ever was. I have always loved him and always will. Only him._

_What I have done was born of necessity, nothing more, and whether it will work or not remains to be seen. If you are reading this, know now that you are of the lineage. I leave the Kingdom of Lilith to you, a full incubus with all of our power. Our burden is now your burden._

_Rule our kingdom well, Lord of Lilith._

"She used you," Raestrao said it anyway.

"I used her," Uzaeris countered nastily, feeling exhausted.

"And now you are the Lord of Lilith." It was declared so coldly.

"Yes, now I'm the Lord of Lilith," the incubus agreed, setting the wine glass down and walking away towards the bed. He'd had his say and it appeared Raestrao's would not reveal anything new to him, only the old wounds he'd uncovered himself, too many times.

 _All to spite me._ Raestrao almost said it out loud but with how Uzaeris looked, his anger couldn't find its teeth. It wasn't what he expected. It wasn't what he'd assumed. Ezaeur was as bad as he, himself, was. She'd only lost more.

"I didn't know father forced himself on her," he admitted, his fist clenching. There was his anger as he watched his brother sit on the edge of the bed.

"I had wondered," Uzaeris pushed his bangs away from his face and flopped back to lie down and look up at the ceiling. "It was so unlike you. Saero was just a traitor cuckolding the Heir in your eyes, wasn't he?" It was a light tone for the heaviest of topics. Raestrao almost marveled at his brother's nonchalance until he realized the mask was back. His brother had slipped it on while he wasn't looking.

"I knew they were together. I had instructed her to keep it discreet." His voice implied what he had felt all along. He had warned her; she'd brought it on herself.

"And when they were caught?"

"I could do nothing for them. It was treason, right in front of our father. Everyone would know it in mere hours." Their father's retainers would make sure of it.

"You could have stopped him." Raestrao was the only one of the brothers who could have done so. Their father allowed him the most. "You could have admitted you knew and gave them permission," Uzaeris countered.

Raestrao walked up to the other side of the bed, looking glumly down at his upside-down brother. "Do you believe that?" The amethyst eyes flicked up to meet his.

"No."

"He challenged me that night." Raestrao sat on the edge of the bed, himself, curling one long leg beneath him as he stared, remembering. "In front of the Court, he challenged my capability to lead. Called me a weak fool right before he led me to her bedchamber to prove it."

 _Our father called you that every day,_ Uzaeris thought.

"He stated that I was oblivious to even the most obvious of enemies. He challenged that Ezaeur was the one leading and I was following her, rather than him. That I would give the power back to the Queens."

 _As you should,_ Uzaeris also thought but held his tongue.

"My denials would have been disproven if I let Saero live," the Demon Lord growled out.

"He set you up."

"I see that now, but then-" Raestrao clenched his eyes shut.

"The humiliation," Uzaeris whispered and his brother nodded.

It had always been. Uzaeris himself had used it against Raestrao. His brother's pride knew no bounds and he could not stand to be humiliated. _Unlike me._ Uzaeris' mother stripped him of his pride at the earliest age she could. He still wondered if he had any left.

"I didn't know of the attack on Lilith, either," Raestrao changed the subject. He definitely wouldn't have stood by while his father ransacked it. Not just for the sake of the kingdom's history but its resources. It had the best farming of the Plains, the richest lands. A single Kingdom that could provide for half of his, full of wealth and luxury...

 _Do you hear yourself?_ The Demon Lord blinked, realizing.

"What are you thinking, Raestrao?" Uzaeris was caught off-guard by the look that crossed his brother's face.

"The troops never made it back to report. I had no news of the attack." Raestrao back-pedaled but there was a lump of cold fear in his belly.

"If you had known, would you have sent them, anyway? If you had learned, would you have come after them for the remaining pieces?" They were direct questions and Uzaeris studied his brother. Raestrao had threatened multiple times to take Lilith since Mika had brought them back together. "Are you saying you wouldn't take Lilith, now?"

 _Will he lie right to my face?_ Uzaeris wondered.

"I..." _Of course, I would. I would be a fool not to._ But it wouldn't be right, would it? It wasn't his for the taking. His own Kingdom had recovered, was now starting to thrive as well. It would only take time and careful management. Or he could fix it that much faster with the new resources, couldn't he?

_Am I really so cold? To reduce an entire Kingdom to just what can come of it?_

Raestrao clenched his fist again, the voice of his father insisting it was his, as Demon Lord. The time of the Queens was over, they had their chance to unite the Plains and failed. He was destined to rule, to hold the world together after his father had gathered it all up for him. Their blood was fated to lead from now on; their family the only royalty.

 _Uzaeris is family._ Ezaeur had shielded her Kingdom well. It should have been their child’s, the Demon Lord's and the Queen of Lilith's son, to lead Lilith and the Abyssal Plains. Instead, his brother sat on the throne. His brother would choose a Queen to breed his own legacy to rule the Plain's riches. To maintain slavery and corruption and keep it apart from Raestrao's own influence, preventing the Plains from truly uniting.

 _Stop it!_ Raestrao could feel his anger, his resentment rising, the voice of his father shouting in his head, his own logic battering his heart.

"I would still take it but I cannot. I will not take it from you. Now or ever." He clamped his jaw tight, his voice low and rough. "I swear it."

Uzaeris quickly sat up in shock. "Raestrao-" But his brother was already standing, already moving away from the bed, back towards the balcony.

 _There._ Raestrao almost bent over in relief. His word was given. He would not renege on it.

He could not protect his wife; he would never touch her Kingdom. Banned from the Kingdom of Lilith. Banished from the human world. He was paying for his crimes, one by one by one.

He looked back out the balcony doors. _Farewell, Ezaeur. May you find your love in Limbo._

"Raestrao?" Uzaeris stood behind him, wide-eyed and unsure.

"I would have peace between our Kingdoms, Uzaeris," Raestrao tilted his head down and looked at back at him from the corner of his eye. "And I want peace between us."

"I want it as well," Uzaeris admitted softly as he stood there.

Choked with the emotion that threatened, Raestrao spun around. Taking the steps, he reached and pulled his brother to him in a tight hug. "I'm sorry."

"I am, too." Uzaeris hugged him back.

*

The Anderson offices were dark, the floor deserted except for a small silver lamp illuminating Matthew's desk. The skyline of Chicago had lit up beyond the windows as the last of the sun's rays dropped under the horizon. Everyone else had gone home over an hour ago, to get what fitful rest they could.

Matthew wouldn't leave. He had no one to go home to and wouldn't waste the time. He had no doubt either that Mika would call him or one of his brothers would summon him once she returned. Until then, with her energy racing through his veins, he had a job to do.

He paced, his hair tousled, his mouth a thin line, his jacket and tie draped over the back of his chair. Rolling his sleeves up, he shifted slides across the touchscreen on his tablet, bringing the presentation up on one of the large flatscreens on the wall in front of him. The other screen powered on and he looked up to see the dark interior of Mika's office. The camera they installed for video conferencing was still streaming to his monitor. He'd forgotten to turn it off after Mika's fight yesterday.

Matthew's heart leapt with worry. He couldn't help but wonder where she was now, what was happening with James and his brothers this very moment in the Abyssal Plains. _Are they fighting demons and devils while I'm left messing with a presentation of all things? How lame can I be?_ At least a day would have passed in the demon world by now. _Do they even know where she is?_

"What am I doing?" he groaned to himself, rubbing his eyes. But he already knew the answer: everything he could.

In ten hours he would be running with one of the most prominent board members down a path along the lakefront, the only time the woman would see him. Twelve hours and he'd be at breakfast with three others, hopefully winning their support as well.

Then he'd stop by the law firm he hired today to review any potential stops he could use against the sale of Anderson Toys, before he went to a second firm to review the bid Jeanne and Cindy smuggled him from David's files for any potential loop-holes or clauses that he could use to make it invalid.

After that, he'd be back here again, re-tooling his information for the second round of meetings on Sunday afternoon with the more difficult board members. A few he was tempted to buy off directly, himself. He hadn't only been investing the company's money all this time. His personal accounts had grown as well and he wasn't above bribery at this point. Jared would have hated the idea, not to mention it was illegal as all hell, but right now, he was willing to try anything.

 _Don't fuck up,_ he warned himself away from the idea. _Something like that you can't recover from when it comes to light._ And it would be revealed at one point or another, most likely to bite him in the ass when it would hurt the most. _Keep it legal. Use your powers if you have to._

Matthew could be very convincing. Enthrallment wasn't only about sex and he left that particular method to Uzaeris, preferring to keep it something personal that he could enjoy. Instead, he could pair his mind-altering powers with charisma for a very potent advantage. His conscience didn't like doing it, but James had reminded him of it with Jared. The Demon Lord hadn't hesitated to manipulate the Vice Chairman.

 _What are you thinking?_ Matthew growled under his breath. _He isn't a role model anymore. Don't stoop to his level!_ Though he had used it in the past, only a handful of times, really, when the outcomes had mattered most. _Like now._

But he couldn't help but remember Jared's naive acceptance of James; how angry Matthew, himself, had been to see the human used so. Even now he flushed, stabbing his fingers into his hair and gripping it for a second. _I'm sorry, Jared._ He didn't see spirits like his brother Damien could, but he hoped the man was at peace.

Strangely, Jared's death wasn't as upsetting as Matthew had thought it would be. Instead, it just felt like one more stone placed upon his chest, making it harder and harder to breathe as the world squeezed him. And to be honest, there was no time to grieve. Not now.

 _So get back to work. One step at a time,_ he reminded himself. _You plan the work, then work the plan._

"Alexa, show Financials Y-T-D," he called out, a spreadsheet replacing the view of Mika's office.

The numbers were a steady, sharp upward growth curve. What he hadn't invested directly back into Anderson Toys, he'd put towards promising businesses in the markets around them and they were paying off. One plastics group was even hoping to enter a full partnership in the future. A potential for a merger to backwards integrate.

 _I’ve been busy. So much is in the works!_ It was like trying to take a snapshot of a train as it's racing past.

"But what do I hide and what do I show?" he muttered under his breath as he leaned back against the edge of his desk.

The sound of the elevator's chime echoed through his open office door, surprising Matthew. The cleaning crew had already come through for the day. Security wouldn't make their round for another hour. He quickly shut off his tablet, the two flatscreens going black as they entered energy saver mode, his hand reaching to switch off his desk light as he caught the sound of the elevator doors opening.

The unsure click of high heels made him pause. Matthew backed into the shadows, pulling a glamour of invisibility around himself just before a tall silhouette filled his doorway.

"Naomi?" Matthew dropped his illusion as he saw her, dressed to make any man's heart stop.

"Matty," she breathed his name with a relieved smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit  
> The beginning - One okay rock  
> https://youtu.be/Hh9yZWeTmVM


	32. You're not a lover, you're a tyrant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James confesses

Mika jogged down the hallway, book in hand. She practically bounced over the plush carpet, her long skirt swirling around her legs, her hair flowing loose down her back. She even dared adding a little more makeup, a little perfume. She’d see the boys soon. Too late for breakfast, she was interested in lunch, starving almost after everything the day before. _But first the library._

_That shield on Damien, Erik probably just put it there to let Damien relax, so our thoughts wouldn't disturb him as he slept and recovered. I'm sure of it._

The more she thought about it, the more Mika was certain that was the case. L _ike giving painkillers or muscle relaxants or sleep aids. The body and mind both need downtime to heal._ Everything she was dwelling on, just herself alone, would have been a lot for him to handle. His memories showed Damien's ability picked up all of them in the mansion and there were even more people in this castle.

 _There are other aspects to healing with magic than just the straightforward repair. There's so much to learn!_ The thought was exciting. Mika enjoyed school and part of her was sad to leave it, though as a veterinarian she was required to continue her education every year with additional courses. This though, this was so much more valuable than a quick lecture or conference.

 _I could learn to calm the animals, shield them to prevent further damage._ If she could find a way to let horses walk while hooves or legs were healing, it would be a major breakthrough. Oftentimes it was still a death sentence if the animal broke its leg too badly.

She passed into the workroom, putting the book back in its proper place and taking the next on the packed shelf. Erik had chosen each of them, specifically, to allow her to advance steadily, building on the spells and teachings of the previous book at a steady pace.

A part of her worried about being away from home for so long. But in truth, by her calculations and what Erik and Sam had explained, she'd only been away for a little over day. She could spend another five before she had to return to work on Monday. That gave her plenty of time to get through at least another book or two. Surely Erik would let her go home, then, and maybe let her borrow a few more.

She wouldn't practice the spells while reading of them, Mika promised Erik. She would only try new magic when he was present, just in case. It was a comfort more than a limitation. If something went wrong, he'd be there to stop and fix it. There were enough little surprises when they practiced; she couldn't imagine trying it alone.

Flipping through the next volume, Mika saw there was indeed more on shielding in this tome. She snapped it shut with a smile. A quick check showed everything was where it should be and she left the workroom, locking the door behind her. She'd eat well, then settle down to read while the boys had their reunion with Damien. No doubt, they all had a lot to catch up on if he hadn't been back since they first left. He really missed them; she remembered when they’d spoken of it in his apartment.

 _Later, maybe we could all go horseback riding with Erik's horses,_ she realized, liking the idea. Damien, Sam, Erik, James, and her. She wished she could show them her horses, could see which preferred which of the brothers. She could see the boys in her mind, picking the horses that most fit them.

Pekoe would want a second “date” with Damien, no doubt. She could tell the mare was completely smitten with him.

Mika couldn't help but smile at the thought of the incubi as "country boys", cowboy hats and all. _Erik isn’t one to want to get dirty, no doubt Sam would tease him._ The image totally fit Sam, rugged, rough, and handsome; and Damien would be the sweetest country boy with that smile, looking a little shy but with a spark in the back of his eyes waiting to be ignited.

Walking back through the library, Mika let her thoughts continue to wander. _And James?_ Part of her thought James would totally embrace the city life/country life crossover. The image of the eldest brother popped into her mind, making her pause at how strong it was.

 _Oh._ She slid into the dream without even noticing. Seeing James in just a pair of tight jeans and a relaxed smile had Mika going warmer than expected. She could smell him, the scent of him, and thought of him leveling those heavy-lidded honey eyes on her and drawing out a long, slow smile. The two of them up in the loft in the afternoon sun, going further than they had in his living room.

"Mika."

"James!" Mika whirled around, surprised to find the incubus there in the library with her. A blush colored her cheeks as he stepped closer. Wearing his conservative sweater and tie, his glasses pushed up and his hair impeccable; he looked the complete opposite of the mental picture she had been foolishly admiring.

 _I am such an idiot,_ Mika thought to herself. _What is with these dreams of James I keep having?_ But she knew.

 **One day the roses will be red.** It made her heart pound to know that James thought of her like that, that he looked at her the way he was doing now: like she was the most important thing in his world, that he wanted her. There was a physical connection between them, she could feel it.

 _And what about Damien?_ Her mind abruptly interrupted. Their relationship was tenuous, fragile, stretched across the past of forgotten memories and the present developing friendship and more. _You only just straightened everything out between the two of you._ It was something she didn't fully understand but desperately wanted to keep.

James studied her as he approached, the intensity of his regard calling up butterflies in Mika's stomach. _If you had to choose between the two brothers, who would it be?_ Mika asked herself.

"How are you feeling?" James' low voice cut the silence between them, drawing Mika's attention back to him.

"Good," she managed to answer as he stopped in front of her. Looking up at him, Mika realized she really could smell him. James' cologne, the musk and mahogany coupled with the scent of the books around them, lured her much as it had that evening in his home. The memory of that dream lit a fire in her once more as his eyes, golden amber in the afternoon light of the library, met hers, luminous behind his glasses.

"I was worried about you," he admitted. "I thought Malix's gang had taken you."

"No. You gave Sam the chance to save me." The memory of James in his incubus form rose in her mind: strong, capable, commanding, standing guard over Damien as he fought.

"I did not want those devils to touch you." The way he said it told Mika he wanted something very different for her. Heat flared through her, her gaze trapped in his, her previous thoughts of Damien thinning to wisps and blowing away.

"James..." Mika repeated his name and another name echoed in her mind.

_Raestrao._

Mika didn't notice she murmured his true demon name. She didn't notice how she leaned into him and tilted her head, her lips, up to him. A haze of desire took over as James moved closer, gold filling her eyes...

*

James was not expecting Mika to come to the library, though he realized he should have known better. He was hoping to find a new book, to ease his mind while waiting for her to wake. They needed to explain that she would be returning to the human world with Damien. No longer banished, Erik could continue her training in the mansion and Sam would protect her from Malix.

Mika didn't see him as she entered the room. James quickly stepped behind one of the shelves, using his glamour to prevent her from noticing him as she hurried past and through the warded door to Erik's private workroom. She looked lovely, excited, energized. It was a change for the better after the grief he'd witnessed, the anxiety and burden of Andrew's loss. James moved closer, her perfume enhancing her scent. Mika had left the door open and he watched her put away the book she'd carried, saw her take another from the shelf.

The desire to read together, to just be together in the same room and know she was there, to look askance and see her happy, was almost overwhelming. Lost in her thoughts, Mika came back out into the library proper, sealing the arcane lock on the door and passing right by, unable to see him.

Her energy washed over James, warm and sweet, and desire flooded through him. _Yes. Keep thinking of me._ The want, the demand for her filled him once more, the hunger intense. He dropped his invisibility and no longer hiding, called her name.

Mika startled and a part of James burned with anticipation at the flash of desire and embarrassment he caught. Greeting her, he moved closer, closing in on her. She appeared distracted but he dismissed it, focusing on her and drawing her to focus on him. He let his powers wrap around them, heightening her desire as he had the night they were together in his home. He heard his human name as he moved to take her in his arms, then the whisper of his demon name as his powers enthralled her.

_Raestrao._

**_NO!_** James pulled back at the last second before their lips brushed. Mika made a small sound of disappointment and it almost broke his resolve. He flushed and turned away as he saw her blinking and shaking her head to clear it, her slender hand rising to rub her temple in confusion.

"I cannot do this." His voice was rough, fighting instinct and desire.

"What just happened?" Mika looked up at him and something within her instantly wished he'd move closer again, that he'd resume... _What?_

"Are you using your powers on me?" She couldn't hide her disbelief. "Was that what you did just now? Enthrall me?"

"Almost," James choked out the word seeing her expression change with it.

"Why would you do that? Are you hungry?" He had fought the devils, brought Damien through a gate from the human world. _All of that takes energy,_ she thought.

"I do not need to feed off of you." The question rubbed him the wrong way as if she were asking a child or a pet. His anger rose with his resolution. "Is that what you have been doing? Offering yourself up to my brothers?" Matthew's and Sam's signatures were clearly upon her but he had been the first.

Mika's cheeks flared bright red, appalled at the accusation and the tone of James' voice. As if she were doing something wrong. As if she should be ashamed of herself.

And in that exact moment under his judgment, she was.

"Mika, they can take care of themselves. You are debasing yourself. You are so much more than that, you deserve a greater level of respect from them."

"James, I-"

"I lost control just now," he continued, speaking over her. "Not because of hunger but because it is you. You whom I admire and desire."

Mika blinked back tears, feeling like a fool. Andrew reared in her mind once more, all this time using her. And now was she letting the brothers do it, too? _Is all of it my fault?_

"There is so much more than attraction," James locked eyes with her, "Than wanton desire, than the lust to commit a physical act and take your body and energy."

Mika's face burned as James' words pulled at her, her body wanting nothing more than to commit said act with him right here, wanting him to demand it from her. Her mind was absolutely mortified. "I'm sorry."

"No. It is I who must apologize to you." James pulled himself from the edge again as she tried to register his words. _Your anger is not for her or your brothers, but for yourself. You were the first to touch her after Andrew and despite what Aomaris said, she should know it. You must pay for your crimes._

"I saw you hurting from the loss of Andrew, confused and overwhelmed by the return of your powers and magic. You were exhausted, your heart broken, and alone." James' eyes softened as he stared into hers. "Just as I was."

"What do you mean?" she asked, suddenly feeling uneasy.

"Before we met in front of my home, the night before, it was as though Andrew were with you once more, wasn't it? As if he had comforted you in your sleep?"

Mika froze. The time was muddy in her mind, the medication from her father's doctor had messed with her terribly, but she did remember that night. She could have sworn Andrew was there. After all, she had seen him during the graduation ceremony. _But how would James know that?_

"How?" _How could he know?_

"You were tired, really tired," he continued. "You could not seem to wake up, could you?" One hand lifted but he refrained from touching her. "Has Erik taught you how to cast a sleep spell, yet?"

Mika's body went cold at the question.

"You might recognize the spell," James continued and she threw a hand up between them.

"Stop! Just stop! What are you saying, James?" He wasn’t making any sense.

"We were there in the mansion that night, Erik and I. You were distraught."

Mika tried to process what James was telling her, but it was unthinkable. "Erik cast a sleep spell on me?"

"Your magic was uncontrolled, your power growing without release. There was so much of your energy, beckoning anyone with the ability to sense it. You could have hurt yourself or others."

"Both of you were there?" She never knew it but the odd visions, the fractions of memories that assaulted her senses...

"Erik cast a sleep spell upon you," James admitted. "And then he left."

"Leaving you with me," Mika weakly finished the thought for him. "What did you do, James?" Her breath caught in her throat.

"I took your energy," James forced the words out. It was only right that Mika learn what he'd done to her.

"You-" The fear she'd had before, when she couldn't remember what had happened between the boys and her, she'd been so relieved when Sam showed her it was innocent and a couple of kisses. This time, this time wasn’t innocent.

"You?" She asked, staring at James as if she didn't know him, realizing that was exactly the case.

_The man I thought was perfect._

Erik's behavior reared up in her mind, his anger at James, his insistence that she learn to shield, to fight.

 **You need to learn to protect yourself. The devils aren’t the only ones preying on you.** Erik knew what James did. He almost told her. _He knew!_

Mika trembled, torn between crying and screaming. The entire situation was inconceivable, beyond her grasp. That the two of them did such a thing… and yet she knew it was true. _James deceived you and there you were having dinner with him a day later. Oh, no. No!_ She clung to her composure, having to ask. "That night in your home, us in your living room, it wasn't a dream was it?"

"No." The confession from James rang in her ears.

"First, you pretended to be Andrew to... to..." she couldn't say it.

"Yes."

"And then you seduced me in your home and made me think I dreamed the entire thing?"

"I wanted to know if you truly were attracted to me. If you would let me-" he tried to explain, Mika’s pain bringing even more guilt to the surface. The more he thought about it, the more he hated himself for it and for hurting her.

"How could you do that?!" Mika screamed the words right in James' face. "What part of any of it do you think was right?" _He manipulated me. He's been manipulating me this entire time!_

"I know what I did was wrong. That is why I am telling you, to try and make amends." James faced her anger solemnly, his back rigid, reminding himself she had every right to yell, every right to scream at him. To hate him.

Mika twisted away, striding down the aisle between the shelves towards the door. "All this time. All this time I thought you were the perfect gentleman." James followed her and she whipped around to face him once more, livid.

"You lied to me, right to my face! Did you enjoy it?" Mika suddenly flinched, making a strangled noise in her throat, meeting his eyes once more. "Of course you enjoyed it; you moved in across the street. You were planning to do it again."

James couldn't take the look she cast him, he couldn't leave her with those thoughts. "Mika, I did not mean to hurt or use you. The very opposite, in fact. I intended to win you and make you my wife." He wasn't expecting the bark of bitter laughter.

"You almost succeeded." Mika shook her head at her foolish trust, tears welling up. "I almost..."

"I will not touch you again," James vowed, trying to reassure her. "Unless-"

Mika's gaze hardened at the word, her power flaring. She moved so fast he couldn’t react, an ethereal bolt striking him in the chest and flinging him away from her. James staggered, his glasses crooked, his hair disheveled, but kept his footing. Instinctively, his shield flared to life.

"There is no unless!" Mika shouted. "Erik tried to warn me about you; he warned me about himself. To think I was falling for you! For it!" She was still falling, but not in the same way. Her anger was ice cold.

James stood there, holding himself back, feeling helpless and watching her trust in him shatter completely.

"Was it all a lie when we first met? When we first stood together in the garden at the mansion? Were you playing me for a fool even then?"

"No, I didn't use my powers in the garden." He couldn't hold his sorrow back, paling at how the accusation hurt. That she didn’t even trust his original admiration, that she might not believe any of it was sincere. "I would never have, then."

"And now?" Mika was poised in her anger.

"I almost did." He couldn't deny the attraction he barely broke free from. The pull of her was still strong, even in her fury.

"But you didn't." Mika reminded herself, desperate for any sign that it wasn’t all duplicity. _He didn't go through with... Whatever might have happened between us if he hadn't stopped._  And she wouldn’t have stopped it herself.

 _How can I even defend against something like this?_ It was insidious, the way her thoughts melted and her body's wants left her vulnerable. _Are they my desires or those of the incubi planted within me?_ Sam was avoiding her, before she confronted him. Erik was perpetually keeping his distance. _Matthew?_ Matthew, she didn’t know what to think of him. _Only Damien..._

 _Damien didn't take advantage of me. He'd had more than enough opportunity._ He was the one angry and appalled when she brought up the thought of it last night.

 _You were right; they are predators._ And she was standing right in the middle of them, oblivious to it, until now.

"Mika, I am sorry." James moved back towards her, his hands up in surrender. "I tried to apologize to you."

The flowers on her stairs, the wording of the card, it all came back to her. **I apologize for my previous obtrusion.** Even that was an arrogant manipulation as she realized the double meaning. As if he were mocking her.

"It was wrong of me,” James continued. He couldn’t stop; wanting her to understand, needing her to understand. “But I only did it to help you. I made it as pleasurable as possible."

"Don't even-" Mika sobbed the words. She couldn’t take it. She couldn’t stand to listen anymore, to see him standing there, a broken dream reminding her of her foolishness. Twice now, men she had cared about betrayed her, maybe even more. All she wanted was to run away.

"There was a part of you that recognized me that night as I spoke to you. A part of you that remembered me. A part that called me by name and welcomed me in your bed." James insisted, persisted.

Mika's eyes flared bright purple, her hair rising to swirl in the magic she called up. It layered the ward that formed around her feet, blocking James' powers, blocking his command.

"That part is long gone, Demon Lord." Her words echoed, a venomous demonic voice snarling at him. "You will never, ever, touch me again." Her power lashed out at him once more, slamming him back despite his shield, throwing him against the far wall before she turned and ran from the library.

 _A demon's voice._ Shocked, James stared after her.

**You almost succeeded.**

He gripped his head in his hands, sliding down and folding to sit on the floor, his knees up. _I deserve this. It was wrong. I was wrong._

And any last vestige of hope left him.

*

"Matty." Relieved, Naomi stepped into Matthew's office, the lone light of the desk lamp casting shadows over her. She wore a blue silky slip dress and heels. A small charm dangled from a ribbon around her throat, another around her ankle. Her makeup was heavy, not quite able to hide the dark circles under her eyes. She looked tired and sad.

"What are you doing here Naomi?" Matthew kept his distance, his annoyance clear.

"I," she paused, watching as he moved to put his desk between the two of them. "I forgot something in Andrew's office.”

"Something?" Matthew's brow raised.

"Ummmm," Naomi looked away. "We're heading to the club. I mean, I'm going to the club. Suzu and I broke up." She tugged at a lock of her long blonde hair, not meeting his eyes.

"That's what happens when you play the games you've been playing." He kept his voice neutral but his words bit and he saw her flinch.

"I know; you're right." She swallowed and nodded sadly. "I should never have gotten involved with Andrew but I can't deny how I felt about him. At least we were able to be together for a short time."

Matthew remained silent as she moved up to his desk. "Rumor has it that you broke up with Sarah."

"Yeah."

"You must be feeling lonely, too." Her eyes softened and she looked up at him with sympathy. "Why don't you come out to the club with me? We could talk or dance or whatever you want."

"I'm good." He refused to even consider it. "I'm working, Naomi."

"On a Saturday night?" She glanced around the quiet, dim office. "Alone?"

"I work whenever I need to," Matthew's voice took a hard edge as he folded his arms across his chest.

Naomi looked down, running her fingers over the polished wood of his desk, seeing her reflection in it. A hollow-eyed ghost stared back. "I miss him so much," she admitted, meeting his eyes once more. "Do you miss Sarah?"

"No." No to the question and no to her.

Naomi's face fell. "I don't have anyone I can talk to. Everyone has taken Mika's side. They're mad at me or don't even care." Tears welled and she pulled a tissue from the box on his desk, crumpling it in her hand and pressing it to her eyes in an attempt to keep her makeup intact.

 _Don’t do it_. It was difficult for Matthew to see a woman in distress. A part of him wanted to help Naomi, to comfort her, but he knew better. He remained stoic.

"Please, please come to the club with me,” desperation rang in her voice. “I just don't want to be alone tonight."

"You should have thought of that before you betrayed Mika. You had a choice Naomi, more than one."

"I should have chosen you," she whispered and Matthew flushed.

"That's never going to happen." He moved towards his desk. "Were you looking for this?" he leaned down and opened a drawer, pulling a small designer makeup bag from it and dropping it in front of her.

"Yes." Naomi blinked, surprised, reaching for it. "How did you-?"

"I couldn't let anyone find it in Andrew’s office," Matthew cut off her question. He'd scoured every inch of the room after hearing the news of his death from Jared. There were some things you didn't want your family to know, whether you were dead or not. Andrew was his friend; he handled it.

"You always were so good to him." Naomi dabbed her eyes again, smudging her mascara.

Matthew's mouth firmed. "Mika didn't need to see it. She's been through enough as it is."

She was the one he would comfort. The one he wanted to be with. Frustration hit him hard once more. _I should be with her instead of stuck here._

Naomi flushed, dropping her head. "Please come to the club, just to talk. I just need someone to talk to."

"You should talk to someone but it's not going to be me." Thinking of Mika, Matthew's patience ran out. "You need to go."

"Don't," her voice cracked. "Don’t make me go. Please?" she begged, hugging the bag to her chest, the tears trailing down her cheeks steadily now.

"I'm not that guy." Matthew shook his head. "I can't comfort you, Naomi."

"But you can comfort her!?" Naomi's voice cracked. "You can be there for her but not for me?"

"Exactly.”

"Isn't there anything I can do? I'm not made of stone, Matthew. My heart broke when he died!"

"I can't help you." He folded his arms again, head held high, resolute.

"Can't or won't?" Naomi whispered, giving him a spiteful look.

"Does it matter?"

Choking down a sob in her throat, Naomi turned away and ran from his office. Matthew heard her heels clicking, her hand slapping the elevator button. The doors immediately opened and took her away.

Letting go of the breath he held, he dropped into his chair, letting his head fall back. _I’d take fighting a devil over this any day._

*

Naomi sat alone in the booth, a martini in hand. The club was crowded, the lights were low, the noise horrendous over the pounding beat of the music. Two empty glasses sat before her, along with her purse and the bag Matthew returned to her.

 _I'm alone,_ and she hated the very thought of it.

Her apartment was half-empty; Suzu just moved out that morning. Money was tight, rotations exhausting, and she couldn't believe how she practically threw herself at a man that wanted nothing to do with her. She glanced at the bag Matthew had held for her, sure his opinion of her couldn't get any worse.   

"Thanks, Matthew Talbot." She sighed, holding a hand over her eyes and feeling foolish for even thinking she could get him to go out with her. _You’re so pathetic,_ she disparaged herself.

"Talbot? Is that what the runt is calling himself now?" The voice was sharply amused, the punk dark and dangerous looking as he grinned at her.

"You know him?" Naomi blinked up at the man standing in front of her table.

"Know him?" A shriek of laughter followed and he easily slid into the booth beside her, looking her up and down with appreciation in his eyes. "I hate his guts. Especially for making a pretty thing like you cry."

Naomi gave him a small, shy smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Adora and Terra, you still here? if so and you want, drop me a note on DA.
> 
> Chapter Title Credit  
> Broken Beauty - Lana McDonagh  
> https://youtu.be/O5RfDSY9Llc


	33. Cause her hand's my paradise.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because there are some things you should never let others see.

Bundled against the cold, Erik followed the garden path into the castle's inner courtyard, his thoughts weighing heavily. _Lilith is mine and it's about time I start acting like a Lord in more than just name._ Talking with Raestrao last night, he realized he wasn't ruling. Not in the way his brother did, nor in the way Ezaeur had, and definitely not in the way the kingdom needed. He would not become a tyrant, but he needed to at least be aware of what his people were facing. _I might be able to guide some of the changes I saw in Raestrao's kingdom into my own._

A deep yawn took him off guard and he fought to stifle it, exhausted. Raestrao had left shortly after his vow to leave Lilith alone. They both needed sleep, his brother's mind just as heavy as his when they had parted ways, but Erik couldn't. He wouldn't. Instead, he made himself walk in the cold to stay awake, pacing around the castle. He wouldn't sleep while Mika was asleep. Not anymore. Yesterday, her glances were lingering on him longer, her attraction growing consciously and subconsciously. Now it wasn't only the call of her energy and body, but the lure of her dreams he was fighting.

 _You only have to make it through a few more hours._ Then Mika would be back in the human world and the distance alone would give him some respite to rebuild his defenses. _She needs to leave before I make a mistake._ Before he destroyed the trust and friendship he struggled so hard to build and maintain. Before he lost what little self-worth he had left.

 _I will always want her. Always._ He knew that now. He'd come to accept it and fiercely refused to act on it, ever, no matter what. Instead, yesterday, he gave her to Damien. It had been close, too close, and Erik's control was slipping down a precarious slope. His brother may have led to Andrew’s death but Damien had always loved Mika, if a demon could ever love. He would respect and take good care of her. _He would never hurt her,_ which was more than he could say.

 _And what if what you fear is true? What if what you suspect finally happens?_ If so, it would be a relief to know it was Damien.

Warmth hit Erik at the same time he saw the flowers at the edge of the path and he paused. Daisies were growing up beside the dying mums, bright green grass littered with them, growing alongside the dormant dry brown of fall. His head lifted from the edge and he finally saw the circle, forty feet across, with her sitting in the middle of it.

“Mika?” Cautiously, he stepped across the border. Life energy flowed through him, more than just her healing, more than he'd ever felt before, it had revitalized the garden around her as if it were the heart of summer. Mika's head was down, her hands moving in her lap, her long skirt a soft circle covering her legs on the grass.

Erik drew closer, unwinding his scarf in the unexpected heat, opening his coat, absently letting both drop to the ground and leaving them behind. Mika's energy and magic welcomed and surrounded him, submerging him beneath the waves that constantly pulled at him.

It took an effort to hold onto himself as he approached, the world almost dream-like in the sunny circle. He swore he could feel the presence of tall trees beyond it’s edge, the comfort of his forest. "Mika?" Erik hesitated to ask, but he had to. "Where's Damien?" _Why would he leave her alone?_ It was too dangerous for her in the demon world. _Why didn't she stay with him?_

"He's asleep. Sit with me," she offered the space beside her. Her voice was quiet, the sweet lilt reminding him of when she was younger, when they had first met. Her hair was a soft fall down her back, her make-up bringing out the vibrant color of her bright green eyes. She looked as if she belonged there, an innocent pretty bloom in the revitalized garden. Her perfume, one he’d chosen for her, was delicate in the still air. It was the Mika of his dreams once more and he found himself entranced, dropping down cross-legged in the grass before her, filled with wariness and wonder.

"I have always loved these flowers," she explained, glancing up at him. Her voice deepened, maturing with an echo that sent goosebumps down his spine. "Because he loved them. I was grateful when you brought them back to the garden."

"Ezaeur," Erik saw the red glow in Mika's gaze for a brief second before it swirled to the purple of demonic magic. He felt Mika's energy rise up around them, toying with his senses, her power moving beneath the surface once more, circling him as he drowned.

"Look," Mika's voice shifted back to that of the sweet girl, the violet glow lingering in her eyes. Her mannerisms were innocent as she handed him what she held. He stared, speechless, turning it over in his hands. "It's a flower crown," she patiently explained.

It was a crown; she'd braided white daisies she'd picked from the grass to make it. "Wear it for me, Uzaeris." She smiled softly as she took another circle of blooms from her lap and carefully placed it upon her own head, the flowers resting above her brow. "I made it just for you. You should wear a crown."

The way she said it, so matter of fact, it cut into all of the worries, the self-doubt, and judgment he had been leveling at himself. "Why?" he asked, looking back up at her. He didn't deserve it.

"Both of you are so alike," she sighed, her eyes dancing. "You and Saero.” The name filled him with trepidation and her smile softened. “Both modest, both handsome, both loving."

"Love?" Erik spoke it with confusion but the word resounded through him. More than lust. More than desire. More than he could comprehend.

Mika took the crown from his hands and knelt up, carefully placing it atop his head. The scent of the flowers mixed with the scent of her. "You are both loyal, all the way up until your destruction," she blithely continued.

Erik watching helplessly, trying to understand, feeling the sharp tug within him and fighting the desire to kiss her as Mika slowly surveyed her work. Satisfied, she gave a nod before placing her hands on his cheeks and gently tilting his head up, casting him a loving expression. "I would give you everything, Uzaeris. You are my Prince."

 _My Prince._ His hands covered hers, his heart pounding in his chest. "Princess."

"Don't worry." Mika’s smile widened. She placed an innocent kiss on his lips, stealing his breath away. "It's another beginning, a new start. Don't be afraid when it comes."

 **I would give you everything.** Dread rose, Erik wishing he could be sure of what she meant, what choice he should make. "I can't," he whispered, searching the deep purple gaze. "I can't do it."

"You're the Lord of Lilith," she reminded him, "My Prince." She withdrew one hand from him, brushing his bangs back from his eye. "You hold my heart; be careful with it."

"You hold mine," Uzaeris insisted. There was no mask, nothing he would hide behind now. All of his charm, his training, everything he did to build a wall between him and the rest of the world, his perfect facade, was reduced to rubble at his feet by this girl. Every single time. "You've always held my heart," he quietly confessed.

Mika sat back on her heels, turning the hand he still held to twine their fingers together. "We're both tired but there's no time to sleep, not yet. We'll walk again, won't we?"

"Always," Uzaeris felt his despair crack, hope desperately trying to shine through. "Whenever you wish." He'd walk away from everything, everyone, forever, if he could be with her.

"Then hold my hand. Keep holding my hand, Uzaeris." Her regard turned serious. "No matter what happens, don't let go of it," she insisted.

"Never." He tightened his grip on her, flooded with emotion. _My Princess in a crown of flowers._ She was beautiful, looking at him so lovingly, trusting him. He wouldn’t leave her, he wouldn’t let go. "Mika," he breathed her name and her eyes cleared to emerald once more.

"Erik?" she blinked as if seeing him for the first time in front of her. The hurt that flooded her face took him off-guard as her voice cracked. "You and James…You cast a sleep spell on me?”

*

Sam opened the door to find Damien asleep, his brother so tired Sam's thoughts didn't wake him like they usually did. Giving Damien a little more time, he paused and looked out the window, seeing Uzaeris walking along the garden path below. His older brother was bundled in a wool coat and scarf against the brisk fall wind, head down, deep in his own thoughts.

Just that morning Uzaeris had called his advisers to the breakfast table, demanding reports on the kingdom's status and progress. It was routine information that wouldn't be out of the ordinary for a Lord, yet Sam was surprised to see it left the stewards speechless. None of them were sure how to respond, other than to shakily agree and hurry from the room.

Raestrao wasn't at the table. Sam hadn't seen his eldest brother since last night but when he saw Uzaeris, he knew things had changed and for the better. Whatever they talked about, the incubus now sat straighter, holding more confidence and determination than Sam had seen in a very long time.

 _The two of them are good for each other._ Sam knew it. _They always have been._ Opposites in some ways and yet similar enough to bond with ease, as opposed to Zecaeru and him who couldn't help but rub each other the wrong way. Uzaeris was the dreamer to Raestrao's practicality, sensitive and empathetic compared to the Heir's cold rationale. Of all of them, Uzaeris was the one who could bend that steely logic, invade that impenetrable decorum, and remind Raestrao that sometimes it was alright to be irrational, to breathe, to make mistakes. In essence: to live.

It was very different from Zecaeru, who never seemed to take the world seriously at all. He went too far for Raestrao's preference, Sam knew, though Matthew's absurdity would often draw a smile from their eldest brother. Too bad his immature antics often had Sam as the butt of his jokes. Not that he couldn't take it of course, but Zecaeru's mockery was too sharp. He might be teasing but Sam couldn't help but feel that beneath the jokes, some of the ridicule was real.

Uzaeris walked through a distant archway, leaving his line of sight and Sam wondered once more where Raestrao was. He thought back to the past in their father's kingdom.

 _You could have pushed to spend more time with him._ Their asshole dad wanted nothing more than to make Raestrao another version of himself. They all knew it. So they always did everything they could to be with their eldest brother, to help him escape the expectations, to remind him of who he was, that he was one of them. It culminated in the five of them escaping into the human world. Never before had Sam seen Raestrao so free, despite the pressure of leading them in a whole new world. His brother had been happy. _At least for awhile._

Sam didn't blame Mika for her choice, but he regretted that it had given Ezaeur the leverage to convince Raestrao to return; that his brother felt he had to once again take up his responsibilities as Heir to their father's throne.  
  
_You could have joined him, Sam reminded himself. Raestrao wanted you to lead with him. More often than not, he agrees with your opinions, if not your methods._

 **Follow your heart, Aomaris**. It was something his brother told him long ago. A day when he'd been in trouble again, when he'd picked a fight, again, and everyone was looking down on him. _Everyone but Raestrao._ His mind dredged up the memory…

"He deserved it!” Ao growled up at his older brother. “You shouldn't push people around like that." He might be smaller than the other demon kids in the castle, but he wasn't about to be cowed by a bully. Instead, his fists fed the jerk a couple of his own teeth, right up until the guards broke up the fight.

It wasn't fair that the rumors had spread, that the court had dubbed him a mindless little brute, an animal. Their father had only laughed from his throne and dismissed his sons from the room, telling Raestrao to take him away like he was some kind of dog.

"You have to watch yourself, Ao. Don't let them bait you," the gangly Heir sighed but squeezed his hand in support as he led him back outside into the courtyard.

"Gaku's a jerk! I swear I'm gonna punch him in the head so hard-"

"Aomaris!" Raestrao jerked them to a halt and knelt in the path in front of the small demon boy to put them at eye level. "It is better to learn about your enemies first, then consider what to do about them."

"And let him get away with it? Hell, no!" His voice squeaked and Ao hated it. He didn't know how to explain himself, but he'd try for Raestrao. "He needed to learn right now!" Tears welled and he knuckled them away with one small fist. "I know he's hungry but he should have asked, not just taken that kid's bread. I would have given him mine." He would have and he still would the next time he saw Gaku, to show him he didn't have to fight. Then he'd punch him in the head for good measure.

Raestrao sat back on his heels, his eyes softening as he listened. He ignored the looks and glares from the guards, the nasty smirks from the servants at seeing the Heir kneeling in the dirt. He was here for his brother, for Ao; they didn't matter right now.

"You would give Gaku your bread?" he asked, studying the little brute.

"Why not? I can always get more." Aomaris gave a defiant shrug and the older boy's eyes narrowed, his mouth thinning in disapproval.

Ao didn't like the look and his anger flared with his frustration. "We've got more than we need! Why shouldn't I help him?" he snapped, giving the larger boy a shove before he saw his brother's surprise.

Raestrao gripped his wrists, holding him still, making his brother look at him. "You're right," the older boy whispered under his breath. It was Aomaris' turn to be surprised as Raestrao's hands gave him another squeeze, unnoticed by those watching, and his brother raised his voice once more. "Don't let father hear you say that."

They never had enough in the Demon Lord's eyes. Helping was just enabling the weak to drain the world even more.

"I can't just leave him hungry," the small boy pleaded. "It isn't right, Raestrao. It isn't right."

"I know," he pulled his little brother into a hug, hushing him. "Do it, but don't let them see," the older demon quietly instructed as he held him. "You don't want to get in trouble."

Aomaris squirmed out of his embrace. "I'm not scared of him!" he insisted, putting on a brave face.

"I know, but you should be. He can do whatever he wants to us and to them."

Aomaris' face screwed up in anger once more, his tiny fists clenching. His nostrils flared with his breath as he readied for another fight.

"Ao, don't," Raestrao warned, his voice stern. "Be smart. Pick your battles. Follow your heart, Aomaris, but don't let them see. Don't ever let them see, or they will stop you." Amber eyes that were way too old for their age bore into Aomaris' bright green.

**Don't ever let them see.**

_How did I forget that?_ Sam ran a hand over his spiky brown hair and pulled himself away from the window. He'd had glimpses. His brother had given him signs the day they spoke in the library.

 _He wasn't lost, not then._ James was hidden in the Heir to the Demon Throne.

 _I should never have left him._ All of them had abandoned Raestrao to their father's devices. The old bastard had what he wanted and no one was left to stop him from twisting his eldest son.

What had Uzaeris told him? Raestrao now ruled with an iron fist, just as much of a tyrant as their father had ever been, smothering the people with new laws. Refugees were running across the border into Lilith, fleeing the changes, fleeing his wrath for the freedom of Lilith.

 _Freedom from what? There are no more slaves in the Demon Lord's lands,_ from what Uzaeris said. _They're called commoners, now._

 **There will be no more Izrouls.** It was a vow Sam heard clearly in his head but he couldn't remember where he'd heard Raestrao declare it.

"Shit." Sam turned away from the window, quietly exiting the room and leaving Damien asleep. He sped down the stairs and out the doors, the cold wind ruffling his hair as he looked around and got his bearings. He could probably run most of the distance if he couldn't hitch a ride.

 _ **That will take you days, demon. You forget you have the power of a dragon.**_ Oros' voice cut into his thoughts, reminding him.

"Yeah." He narrowed his eyes in annoyance but was grateful, nontheless. Stretching, Sam felt his wings erupt from his shoulders. They caught the wind, making him dig his heels in to stand steady, testing them and finding them whole once more.

"I swear, that girl..." Sam shook his head in admiration of Mika’s healing then he was off, running and letting his wings catch the wind. The border wasn't that far away. He still had a lot of energy from her and one very important question he needed an answer to.

 _ **Go and look for yourself, Aomaris,** _ the voice of the dragon rumbled in Sam's mind. ** _I wonder what you will see._**

*

"Why didn’t you tell me about James?" The frigid wind suddenly cut through the circle to flatten Erik's clothes against him, chilling him to the bone as he realized what Mika was asking.

James must have told her. Just as his brother had spoken to him last night, he must have decided to admit his guilt to Mika as well. Once again, the Demon Lord surprised him.

"I..." Erik's features fell. "It was my fault, Princess."

"I can’t believe it. I thought he-" She cut the words off, trying to pull away, but Erik wouldn’t let go of her hand, forcing her to confront it. _No more running._ "Show me," she insisted, facing him once more. "Sam showed me the past; so did Damien."

"I can't," Erik shook his head.

"I know you can. Please!" She needed to see it with her own eyes. Each time had been more of a revelation, more than just heard words. It was the only way she'd know what really happened. Her hand squeezed his, pleading with him. "Please, Erik! Why won't you? What exactly did you do?"

"I left you with him," the incubus admitted, "and James isn’t like Damien. I knew what my elder brother would do and I didn't stop him." _I failed both of you that night._

"Show me," Mika insisted and he shook his head. Frustrated, she clenched his hand in both of hers but Erik only dropped his eyes, refusing her. Her anger rose hot and sharp. She was tired of guessing, tired of only getting bits and pieces, tired of everything she didn't know. Tired and pissed. "You will show me, Uzaeris." She used his name. You will. She threw her power behind the command and her magic flashed, the compulsion digging into his brain. "I deserve to know what happened to me," she snapped

"No!" Startled, Erik gave a strangled cry at the sudden pain, fighting it as her magic racked through him, the force tightening around his chest and mind.

"Erik?" Mika stopped, shocked by his reaction. She paled with the realization of what she'd just done. She was forcing him against his will, commanding him just as her grandfather had commanded Damien. Only Damien hadn't mentioned any pain. _Damien... Did I do this to Damien as well, without knowing it?_

"I'm sorry!” Her anger instantly washed away, leaving her with fear and regret. “I didn't mean to hurt you! You don't have to show me," she tried to take it back, tried to release Erik, but her mage sight only showed the magic closing tighter around him. The command was made, there was no going back.

"You’re right. You should know what happened," he whispered fiercely, finally meeting her eyes. "You should see the truth about me."

"Don't!" She wanted to see, but not like this. Not forcing him. “How do I dispell it?” Mika tried to pull away, desperate to free him but Erik clung to her hand, fighting for breath.

Trapped in the compulsion, he shook his head, unable to speak any further. In a twisted way, he was relieved. His desire to have no lies between them might come true, though he despaired over what her judgment of him would be. Pulling the flower crown from his head with his free hand, he laid it on the grass before them and quickly cast the spell. An illusion rose from the petals, coalescing into a vision that pulled Mika in.

She opened her eyes to find herself in the foyer of the mansion once more. The room ignited with an explosion of violet and gold energy, her mage sight triggering instantly and she saw Erik, in a spiritual form, watching as her past self entered. She was exhausted from Graduation and fighting her father, mourning Andrew as the realization of his loss hit her once again in their home.

 _It doesn’t hurt as much this time,_ she noticed. The empty hole in her heart still ached but there were no tears, only the dread of what would come. Erik's memories spilled out parallel to her own as she recalled it, surprised that she had no idea he was right there with her. Her face grew grim as she saw him weave and drape his coercion around her neck, as she watched him sadly compel her up to her room and followed, bidding her to sleep, sending her defenseless to her bed.

Trapped and already this far in, Erik showed Mika his reunion with James, the compulsion finally releasing him. Her eyes widened at the sight of the two Lords arguing, at Raestrao's hate and Uzaeris’ arrogance as they spoke of Ezaeur's death. She let loose a small sound as Raestrao grappled with him, her hand clenching his in the here and now, as her fists clenched in the memory.

The wave came. Mika couldn't feel it, though she saw the effect it had on the two demons: their eyes flaring gold, their attention instantly captured. _I did that?_

Erik watched with her as his brother commanded him to reveal her through the portal and in his weakness, he did, knowing full well that Raestrao would step through. His heart fell as Mika heard the accusation, the truth from the Demon Lord's mouth as they studied her in the bed.

**You would revel in taking her, wouldn't you? Glutting yourself, tainting her.**

He would have. _Tiffy..._ The poor maid, he had done exactly that to her.

And in the end instead of stopping Raestrao, Uzaeris teleported back to his kingdom, leaving the two of them together. Miserable, he released Mika back in the here and now, dismissing the illusion with the Demon Lord's threats still ringing in their ears. There was anger in her eyes, her mouth a thin line.

"I'm sorry," He apologized again, unable to face her.

"Stop it," she snarled the words, "Why do you do this?" she tugged at his hand, making him look back up at her, confused. "That wasn't your fault, Erik."

"Of course it was-"

"No! I saw both of you fighting." James had overpowered him, furious. "You tried to stop him. Why are you so intent on taking the blame? Why can't you see it wasn't your fault?"

"It was my fault! I brought him to you.”

He forced himself to continue, “But make no mistake. If he hadn't, I would have taken you. I wanted you just as much." His confession struck her silent. "Your power, your energy, the draw of it is driving me mad." He ran his fingers through his bangs, gripping them for a moment before shoving them back. "It's easier when you're drained but it's always there. Always!"

"Listen to me," Mika begged, trying to capture his attention. She wouldn't call him by his true name, not again. Not if it might accidentally command him. That was a mistake she would never repeat.

"No!" He pulled his hand from hers, breaking their connection and quickly stood up. It left him feeling empty and cold and so alone. "I am nothing but a beast, nothing but the hunger, hurting everyone over and over. I've hurt you once already. Don't let me hurt you again."

"You've helped me." Mika stood up with him. She couldn't believe it. Not from this demon who was taking the time to teach her, who was trying so hard to be good, like her. Who tried to defend her, trying to protect his kingdom from a tyrant. "You aren't a monster, Erik. You aren't like James."

"Haven't you heard a word I've said?!" The shout was rough, harsh, his voice cracking. "I am exactly like James." He reached out and pulled her up against him, feeling her energy sing around them. Mika's eyes glazed, her pupils dilating as she fell into it with him. She leaned into him, melting against him.

"You feel it, too," he whispered, staring into her eyes as his fingers plunged into her hair, tilting her head to bring her mouth closer. "The hunger. The want." His lips brushed her chin, her cheeks, feather-light with the words.

“Yes.” She wanted him to kiss her, more than she had wanted James in the library. Never had Mika wanted anything more in her life.

"I could fuck you right here in the grass," the statement was crude, cruel. "Take you in front of anyone who happened to glance out those windows. You would revel in it, drive me on without a second thought." The wicked, sly incubus was back, taunting her.

"I..." She did want it. She didn't care. Something was taking hold of her, not an enthrallment, but a hunger all her own. Erik's eyes still shone lavender, a sorrow behind the demanding arrogance.

"And what about my brother Damien?" He spoke the name, seeing the guilt, the horror breakthrough on her face. He'd made the right call leaving her with him. _She does have feelings for him._ "How do you think he would feel about it?"

Mika blushed brightly, trying to pull away and Erik let her go with a small shove. "I would no more want to take you from my brother than you would want to betray his trust with me," he admitted. She stood a few feet away from him, only a couple of steps; breathing heavily, just as he was.

"This isn't real," Erik stressed, desperate to break past the attraction. "This isn't you. It's sick and twisted, like me, and I won't do it. Go back to Damien. Go home. I can't handle this right now or I will take you and damn us both." His spirit faltered, seeing her flushed stare, helpless from what rose up between them. She'd never faced the hunger before, felt it but never realized it was in her, too.

"Go." He couldn't touch her now; his control was the thinnest thread, hers would break with his. "Go before it's too late."

Mika fled down the path, Erik's eyes following her until she ran out of sight. _Damn it and damn me,_ he thought, calling up a circle and dropping through it. He'd lock himself in his room until she was gone. James could send her back.

*

Mika ran, her feet taking her to the stables. The building was silent, only a few horses remaining. The stable hands were out in the fields with their charges, exercising them as she'd recommended, if not using them to help the local farmers. Her steps echoed on the wooden slats of the floor, kicking up dust in the fragile light that shone in from the window above the doors.

A hand reached out from the darkness to grip her hair from behind, yanking Mika painfully to a halt. She cried out, trying to twist around only to have another hand clamp down over her mouth and a third grabbing her wrists and twisting them painfully up behind her back.

"So, he refused you again?" Mika's eyes went wide as Shadow's voice breathed against her ear from behind. "Then it must be my turn." He pulled her hair again, wrenching her head back. Yet another shadowy hand reached to run a finger across her forehead, the needle-sharp nails too close to her eyes.

Mika broke out in a sweat as the fear seized her, holding her helpless. She heard the advisor’s quick intake of breath, his pleased hum.

"Delicious," he murmured in her ear, the hands tightening on her. It felt as if he would dislocate her shoulders or rip her hair from the roots. She couldn't find a way out of his hold as yet more hands took her, wrapping around her ankles. Another moved over her abdomen, sliding up under her blouse to drag its nails over her stomach in a cruel mimic of evisceration.

Her flinch at the stinging scratches only made Shadow chuckle.

"How the fool could say no is beyond me. The fact he resisted your call, along with the Lover's Trap I had Tiffy add to her lipstick, is no small miracle in itself. I've no doubt the brute contributed to that." He'd have to handle the Dragon Lord, himself, and soon. "Either way, the maid died way more pleasantly than you will," Shadow growled, annoyed.

Mika exclaimed behind his hand. _Tiffy? The maid?_

"Such luck you have! Or is it because you carry my Queen?" The adviser pondered, considering her. "You have no idea what I'm talking about do you, little lamb? It’s rather ironic."

One nail caught Mika's eyelid, feeding her fear as it pulled it up, exposing the entire orb as another hovered over her wavering pupil. Mika froze with a whimper.

"Such a delicate shell holding all that power. Everything I want just a skin's width away from me," Shadow purred as another hand curled around Mika's throat, suddenly drawing her flush against him. It was the feel of icy bones down her back.

"I'm going to enjoy taking it from you, even more knowing I'm ripping his from him," his growl grew vengeful. "There will be a new Lord of Lilith. One that isn’t scared of the Demon Lord. The games are over, check and mate."

Mika's muffled scream was swallowed by the darkness as he pulled her into the shadow realm, her flower crown dropping onto the floor.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit  
> Horns - Bryce Fox  
> https://youtu.be/0kTd-orXaLw
> 
> This is one of the two signature songs I'm using for Uzaeris in this story. Been listening to it waaaaay too much.


	34. Can you see my scars?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uzaeris isn't the only one to wear a mask.

The shadow world blurred and stretched as the demon carried Mika through it, a dim warped version of the Abyssal Plains. Many more hands stretched from Shadow, grasping and propelling them down the path. They crawled up the side of Lilith castle like a spider, Mika held flush against him, screwing her eyes closed as the shifting view made her dizzy, the height making her stomach drop.

The steward laughed and the sound vibrated through them, prickling like sharp bristles into Mika's skin everywhere the demon touched her. Pausing on the side of the tallest tower, high above the ground, he loosened his hold.

Mika shifted, sliding out of his grasp to plummet. She screamed, the sound muffled in the sepia darkness before he caught her once more, feasting on her fear. She fought, trying to summon her magic, but she had expended so much in her fight with the Demon Lord and in the garden with the Lord of Lilith, she was on the brink of exhaustion already.

It only made it that much easier to scare her, that much easier to drive her to despair. The demon laughed harder, the hands wrapping tighter to smother Mika and pin her against him. Pulling her along, he climbed across the rooftops before dropping through a window into one of the halls.

Shadow let her go again, this time on her feet, craving a little game of cat and mouse. Mika instantly summoned her shield, calling up ethereal shards to throw at him, but they were swallowed into the darkness, absorbed. The demon grew, filling the entire hallway, his chuckle vibrating down the corridor.

Panicking, Mika turned and ran for it, Shadow watching her go. They were in his realm, his place of power. The wraiths and other shadow demons knew to stay back, letting their leader have his fun, absorbing the waves of fear the girl was expelling from a distance.

Mika ran, feeling dizzy. The castle was bleary, blurry, warping at the edges of her vision. Nothing looked right. It was hard to breathe, hard to focus. She couldn’t recall her training.

She saw a servant and ran up to them. The butler didn't stop, didn't seem to notice her. She gasped as they walked right through her. The laughter grew behind her as Mika yelled, trying to get the demon's attention, but it was for nothing. She was only a ripple of air in the hall.

She took to running again. Damien's room was on this floor, she might find it. _Idiot!_ She thought to herself, pissed. _What are you doing?_

"Izroul!" Mika shouted his name, trying to summon him. There was no answer.

"He cannot hear you," Shadow called to her. "He cannot join you here. You're never going back to them." The hands flowed past her, racing over the walls, blocking Mika off. She dodged aside as they reached for her once more, turning down a servant's stairway, steep and narrow.

The adviser’s laughter echoed once again, the darkness pouring down the stairs behind her. Mika felt icy fingers brush her ankle. She couldn't react fast enough, falling as they pulled her leg out from under her. The stairs bruised her as she struck them, rolling down, the landing rushing up to meet her. Mika's head exploded with pain before everything went black.

The human girl lay unconscious at the foot of the stairs, the dim colors draining from the walls as Shadow returned the two of them to the demon world. The adviser regarded her, amused and invigorated. He scooped her up into his arms and took her into the nearest room.

The other stewards looked up as their leader entered, surprised to see him carrying Mika.

"There you are. The lord's been asking questions, wanting to know what we've been doing!" A portly brown faun glared at him. "We've no idea how to answer."

"Then don't." Shadow dropped the girl on top of the table in their midst, to a round of exclamations.

"Is that her?" A bespectacled blonde demon, the kingdom's financier, asked curiously as he studied the human woman now laying on top of his reports. "Why has he been hiding her?"

"It's just a human girl," the faun snorted. "A pet for the lord to feed on."

"She could bring us good money on the slave block." Another steward, a reptilian demon, reached to touch Mika's hair. "Humans are a rarity."

A dark hand shot out, shoving the demon back. Shadow glared at all of them, his arms folding across his narrow chest in annoyance. "She is mine. We need to get her away from the mind reader and out of his range before he wakes."

"We' don't need to do anything of the sort, 'we' need to figure out what to tell the lord.” The faun tried to take back control of the meeting but everyone ignored him.

"Away from the mind reader? The bastard brother is back? You know they will search for her if she goes missing," the reptilian demon hissed with a glare. "Precisely where could you possibly hide her?"

"The Demon Lord's kingdom is the last place they'd look," Shadow decided. _And right where I need to be._

"Just what is so special about her?" the faun argued belligerently.

"I'll take her," the financier interrupted, pushing his glasses back up his nose and holding them there as he bowed in deep deference. "There's a caravan leaving shortly." He gathered the girl up carefully before anyone could object and stepped out into the hallway.

"Tristan," Shadow called and the blonde demon swiftly turned around. Wraiths swelled from the hallway floor to surround him. Even more rose to line the walls of the stewards' room. The financier's eyes widened at the appearance of Shadow's minions.

"Guard your thoughts and keep her unconscious," the head adviser instructed him. "Do not allow her to call any of the brothers."

"But-" the faun started to interrupt only to stop as Shadow raised a hand for silence.

"Yes, my lord," Tristan quickly answered, the financier's obedience making the head adviser’s lips twist into a smile. Tristan turned away, hurrying down the hall with Mika, the wraiths around them escorting him.

"Sure, he'll be out of range of the mind reader, but what about us?" the faun asked the group with a huff.

"What indeed?" Shadow turned back to face them, his black gaze full of amusement as the remaining wraiths closed in. The group of advisers backed up, only now realizing their mistake as he signaled the deadly shades.

The door slammed shut, muffling the stewards' screams as the demons of darkness fed.

 

*

Damien woke to the golden orange of sunset. He had slept the day away, his mind trapped in the silence of Erik's shield. Groggy, he ran a hand through his hair, snuggling a little deeper in the blanket that still smelled of Mika. Memories of their talk, their kiss, had him smiling. Somehow they'd made it through the hardships of their forgotten past to reach the other side. Time to rebuild.

 _Today will be a good day,_ he thought, looking forward to seeing Mika again. The way she looked at him last night, the way they'd shyly spoken once they'd made it through the memories? They were slowly taking the steps to bring them closer together once more. Damien could feel it and he wanted to enjoy every moment of it.

 _Everyone must have decided to let me sleep. Perhaps Mika was right about Erik shielding me._ He'd never felt so rested. He climbed out of bed and stretched, checking that everything was in order. The bullet had hurt badly before he lost all feeling; now it was as if it never happened. He would have to thank Erik and Mika again for healing him.

 _I wonder where she is?_ He refused to let himself dwell on who she might be with. Not now. He would trust Mika, if not his brothers.

A quick shower and he was headed to her door. The castle was silent and she didn't answer his knock. Her rooms were empty. Damien looked around, hesitant to ask the guards, and went downstairs. The dining room was empty, the ballroom dark, the library -

"Can I help you?" The adviser casually glanced up from the table, half-incubus but the black orbs of his eyes spoke of being half shadow demon, as well. Damien paused on the threshold. As a slave, he was never allowed in the libraries of the demon world before. The hesitation, the feeling of doing something wrong, still lingered in Izroul.

"Is there something you need?" the demon marked his place with a gold ribbon before closing the small leather-bound book on the table before him.

"Oh! Ah, no." Damien's hand rose to his throat, wishing he could hear the other demon's thoughts.

"You are the brother of my lord," the demon patiently explained, tucking the book in his sash. "Please, allow me to help you." His black eyes shone as he stepped closer.

"No. I'm... I'm fine." Damien shook his head.

"Forgive me, but you do not appear fine. I am Shadow, one of the Lord of Lilith's advisers. I am bound by oath to serve my lord and his family. Please, come in." He gestured with one hand towards the chairs by the fireplace.

"It's alright. I'm... looking for someone," The words rushed out of Damien's mouth. He definitely did not want to sit and talk with the adviser. "Have you seen my brothers?"

"Your brothers have all left," Shadow spread his arms in helplessness.

 _They left without me?_ Damien found it hard to believe but then again, everyone and everything had changed while he was away.

"But the lord is up in his chambers," Shadow continued. "In bed." The way he said it, it didn't sound like Erik was sleeping.

And Mika was still missing.

Damien flushed. _He wouldn't._ But Sam had. And Matthew had. And James.

"You look upset. Do you require energy as well?" Concerned, Shadow moved closer. "I could summon a bed slave for you."

"N-no!" Damien couldn't keep his voice from cracking. "No," he forced himself to take a breath, to ask the question indirectly. "I'm looking for Mika."

"The human girl?" Shadow's head tilted, the solid black orbs of his eyes considering the youngest brother. "Do you want me to go and find her for you?"

"You would do that?" Damien took a step into the room.

"Of course. All I need is your order to find her and it would be my duty to go to her," Shadow explained.

Damien wasn't sure. It wasn't his place to order Erik's servants; he was only a slave, himself. He had to be careful. They may not know it, yet, and he did not want it to be known. If they found out, he would be at the nobles' mercy, brother of the lord or not.

"I could tell her you're looking for her." Shadow offered.

"Yes," Damien nodded, capitulating. Anything to get the adviser to go away. "If you would. Please, tell her Damien is looking for her." Then she could call his name and summon him to her side.

"Of course. I shan't return until after I tell her." Shadow couldn't keep the satisfaction from his voice as he vowed it. "Goodbye, bastard son," the demon sneered, stepping into the shadow realm and disappearing.

Damien blinked at the name he hadn't heard in years, hearing the same ridicule he'd heard from his father's stewards. He looked around, knowing the other demon could still be there, watching him from the dark spirit realm. It was a parallel world he'd only heard about but never seen; the lurking grounds of assassins, spies, and wraiths. Damien's mind reading couldn't reach it, even when it was working.

 _That needs to change._ But part of him was nervous. What if Mika was with Erik?

There was only one way to find out.

*

 

The city of Emwin lay between the borders of Lilith and the Demon Lord's lands. In past reigns, it had thrived with individuals from both kingdoms working to build the perfect town. With a waterfront and deep harbor, it allowed passage into and out by land or by sea, working as a hub for commerce. Emwin was neutral territory, a city there for itself with good and bad and neither monopolized by either kingdom. It also happened to be one of Aomaris' favorite places to visit after he joined the rebellion.

He could enjoy a good beer in one of the inns; indulge in an anonymous brawl with his father's soldiers; or find a nice, comfortable bed to sleep in, usually not alone. It was far enough away from the capitals that he wasn't recognized as the Demon Lord's son or the Dragon Lord. He was Ao, the brute, just another merc who would occasionally hire himself out to work with the city's guard for extra coin.

Aomaris dropped to the ground a distance away, not wanting the questions and attention flying in would bring. He ran the rest of the way, though slowed as he neared. The city had always been covered in gardened terraces, the air full of the scents of flowers, good food, and the sea. That was no longer the case.

The orchards and vineyards that had lined the Lilith side of the border were gone. Instead, the city seemed to have expanded, but the buildings could barely be called that. They were crooked and cheap. Three to four stories, though he doubted the wooden structures could hold much weight, slapped together as they were. Many were built on top of the burned out remains of previous structures.

The demons themselves could have been shadows, for all he saw of them, except for the hard-eyed males that looked him up and down. His fists curled and they quickly lost interest, recognizing he wasn't a victim.

Aomaris passed large, empty warehouses. Their doors were wide open, showing the pens within, the areas around them outfitted to hold huge carts. Stone platforms set with rusty metal rings were visible here and there, some stained deep brown, their surfaces flaking, and his frown deepened. They didn't look as unused as he wanted.

Finally, he broke out into the open, Emwin's gates ahead. He wasn't expecting the wide burn between the outskirts and the city proper. Wasn't expecting the two huge guard towers and barracks on either side. The guards of Lilith had taken a look at him as he passed but didn't stop him. He didn't bear the marks of a runaway slave, wasn't carrying anything he could have stolen, and looked like someone who knew where they were going. Emwin greeted Aomaris differently.

"Halt!" The guards eyed him, moving closer, brandishing spears and swords. "State your name and business!"

"Ao. Just a merc looking for work," Aomaris answered just as swiftly.

"Ao?" An older guard stepped up, studying him.

"Karas?" Aomaris blinked, surprised at how much the old sergeant appeared to have aged.

"It is you! Looks like you're as worse for wear as the rest of us that remain." The shaggy gray demon quickly waved him into the tunnel through the city wall, the number of guards and mercenaries more than triple what Aomaris remembered. "Didn't think anyone could get the best of you." The old guard nodded towards Ao's broken horn.

"Yeah, well, he didn't walk away." Aomaris didn't elaborate any further and the guard gave a snort.

"You always were a tough one."

They made it through the wall and Aomaris' step faltered. The terraces were bare, cracked and what little growth was dried out, dead weeds. The trees should have been changing colors for the approach of winter, but these looked dead. Bars covered the windows of the homes and the doors were heavy and bolted.

"What happened?" Ao couldn't believe the difference.

What had been crowded leisurely foot traffic was now the hurried darting of citizens with their heads down, casting furtive glances. The harbor ahead of them held more vessels of guards than merchant ships, ushering in the fishing boats returning with the day's catch.

"The new Demon Lord happened," Karas opened a door Aomaris barely recognized.

_Raestrao did this?!_

The inn was full of patrons, even this early in the day, the bartender steadily filling orders. Aomaris knew him, too, a father of three daughters who tended the inn with him.

The demon looked up as they entered, surprised to see the merc with the sergeant. "They didn't get ya?" He gave a weary smile, filling two mugs. "I thought for sure the war took its toll from ya. Been a long time, Ao."

"It's been too long, Douros." Aomaris sighed, reaching for the mug. "And it did take its toll."

"But he's even prettier now, isn't he?" Karas laughed, raising his mug in a toast to having the young demon back.

"Not as pretty as your girls. Where are they?" Aomaris looked around, surprised to see no one waiting on the tables, an old male demon working the kitchen behind the bar.

Douros grew grim, stepping back from the two. "Ya ain't the only one ta pay the toll."

"What? How?!" Maelyn, Daezen, and Elaera were not fighters. Dae and Elae a good thirty years younger than Ao, himself, was. "What happened?"

"I'll tell Mae yer back, Ao." The bartender replied but wouldn't meet his eyes again. "She'll be happy ta know ya came back." He moved away to the other end of the bar, serving drinks to the group waiting there.

"Let's take a seat," Karas answered, putting a hand on his shoulder and gently pulling him back from the bar to a table. Aomaris dropped onto the bench across from the guard, still looking over his shoulder at Douros and glancing around the room.

Maelyn was older than him, sweetly older than him, and the daughter in charge of the kitchen and guestrooms above. She was one of Ao's first, the two finding themselves in his bed after a bit of drinking and daring. She taught him more than a trick or two and they enjoyed it so much, it became a regular occurrence when he was in town. He was worried, not seeing her in her usual place behind the bar with her father.

"I don't understand. Emwin was never a target in the war." He turned back to Karas, tasting the beer. It, at least, was still the same.

"We weren't a target. The troops came through on their way to take out Lilith, and we let them. We couldn't stop them if we tried. But the Lady wasn't happy. Part of the blame was ours, Lilith's blood spilled because we didn't even try to stop them. That was the start. " Karas took a long, grim drink.

"Then the young Demon Lord started making his new laws," Karas shook his head.

"He broke the truce with Emwin?" Aomaris growled, startling a few of the other patrons around them.

"Broke the truce? No, He didn't. She did." Karas saw his surprise and put a hand out across the table to catch his wrist before he drank again. "When the Demon Lord abolished slavery, the world went on its ear. The pleasure houses, the fight rings, the field workers, hell, the privvy cleaners were no more. In an instant." Karas snapped his fingers.

"Those freed didn't know what was happening. The flesh mongers knew, though. They knew they were out of business. On that side of the border," Karas ominously added.

"Raestrao shut it all down?" Aomaris wondered aloud, forgetting himself. Karas looked at him askance for a moment before nodding.

"The Demon Lord knew what he was doing, though. A lot of the masters were just like you and me, just living, their slaves living with them and doing the work. But others?"

"That had to have been chaos." Aomaris frowned.

"Not for his lands. I told you he's a smart one. By then, he'd took all his father's armies and made them militia through the towns; walking the streets, watching the people, fighting fires and upholding the laws. They're the ones that posted the slaves' freedom."

"Did they rebel?" Ao was surprised. Martial law wasn't a tactic he expected from his brother.

"The flesh mongers did. They were also charged a "misery tax" upon release of their slaves; money to help their victims build lives in exchange for the slaves not rising and killing their previous owners. Course some of them paid and some of them died." Karas lifted a shoulder.

"Misery tax..."

"But he went and did even better. Those families, the ones just living with their slaves? The crown offered aid so they weren't broke paying it. Gave the ex-slaves land, too. Militias handed it out for him."

"And they weren't corrupt?" Aomaris wouldn't believe that.

"Not as many as you'd think. Cuz all them fighters? The militia were the ones without families to go back to, that only knew fighting. And now there's a bunch of free demons with skills to live, granted land and needing protection." Karas laughed, a bright sound in the inn that had heads turning. "It's how I found my wife. I live across the border, like most who can. We got a small farm."

"But Emwin?" Aomaris pressed, noticing most others weren't happy.

"The worst of the worst flesh mongers ran for it. Some taking their favorite slaves with them. Demon Lord had his border covered best he could, but Emwin? The town was blind-sided. And being the last stop for desperate slavers and thieves? They stole what they could and cried for asylum in Lilith. And the new lord? He lets them in."

Aomaris almost dropped his mug. "I'd heard the Demon Lord was a tyrant," he weakly spoke, quickly downing his beer.

"To a bunch of spoiled nobles used to beating their slaves, he is. To the wretched villains that enjoyed the sex houses and watching poor folk fight to the death for their amusement, rich off the toil and blood and pain of others? He's the worst thing to ever happen. Toppled a corrupt empire in mere days. Though looking back, he spent years setting everything up, just so.

"We all thought he was worse than his old man, moving his soldiers into every corner of every town. Felt like you couldn't piss without wondering if you'd be arrested or conscripted. But they only touched those that deserved it. He's got checks and balances throughout their ranks, watching them, too. And you know, no one wants to go against him. It's better for us, the low class. We aren't as low anymore." Karas toasted to that as well, finishing his mug. "Come on."

Aomaris left his mug at the table, his head buzzing with so many thoughts and questions as the guard left a gold piece with the bartender. Outside, they were hurrying again, but this time for the other border.

"Emwin's story isn't as pretty. There are a lot who won't leave, like Douros, a lot who can't leave. And a lot who've had family taken. You came from Lilith. You passed the slave yards on the way in. Now the city's a raiding ground for them and once over the border, we can't stop them. Demon Lord won't move forces against Lilith."

"Daezen? Elaera?" Aomaris asked after Douros' other two daughters, the pretty girl demons who would always be waiting on the inn's patrons. He hadn't seen them at any of the tables.

"I'm sorry, Ao. They're gone. Taken the night after the Day of Freedom. Emwin calls it the Darkest Dawn now, in memory. So many were taken. Most of the guards were thrown into chaos with the news of the slaves' freedom. So many fled through the city and harbor. It was pure chaos. Riots. Fires broke out in several of the districts, distracting us, letting them get away."

"They're gone," Aomaris repeated the words. It was a blow to his heart. The two girls had been so young and bright.

He'd given Daezen her first kiss, Maelyn confiding how her sister held such a crush on him. His last visit he'd bumped into Dae in the hallway, on the way to the bar from his room, and she'd looked up at him with those bright green eyes of hers, a perfect match for his. The waitress had been surprised to feel his incubus powers, giddy to fall for them. In a way, it reminded him of when he'd given Mika her first kiss, though it had been Dae who demanded it of him.

"It's best not to think about it," Karas admitted. "You weren't here and couldn't have stopped it."

It wasn't any comfort. Aomaris sighed, pushing his remorse away, only now noticing they'd made it to the gate into Raestrao's lands. This side was built up with even more guards, just as vigilant as the other gate, but let him through when they saw Karas at his side.

It was night and day compared to the Lilith border. There was still a stretch of land, this time a wide swath of short, green grass to allow the guards to see anyone trying to cross well before they made it to the gate. They crossed over the rise and Aomaris saw a town that looked like Emwin once had. It was thriving, farms stretching beyond as far as he could see.

West Emwin was only a small trade town for his father's kingdom, a gate for the merchants to pass through, most living in Emwin itself. Now it had become the city proper and so much more. The demons here were happy, though cautious to see a stranger in their midst. All of them clothed and with shoes.

The two passed a building and Aomaris stopped, staring in the open doorway. There was a female demon, teaching young demons around her, holding up a book for them to see, reading it to them.

**_Reading._ **

"There's schools now, Aomaris. They get lunch, too. Can you believe it?" Karas whispered, still just as awed by it. "I'm tempted to have her teach me to read. Anyone can sign up for it."

"He did it." Aomaris was floored, staring, breaking out in a grin. "Raestrao really did it."

There wouldn't be any more Izrouls, not while Raestrao was Demon Lord.

*

Uzaeris lay curled on his side in the darkness of his room, the heavy brocade curtains drawn closed to block what little light of day was left. He still wore the glamour of Erik, gently cradling the flower crown against his chest. Eyes closed, he could just barely smell the faint green scent of its blooms.

 _A gift from her, but which her? Ezaeur? Mika?_ They were the only two, brothers aside, to ever see him as more than the sly incubus he portrayed. The only two to care even though Ezaeur had used him and Mika had chosen another and sent him away. They circled in his thoughts as he dozed, wishing he knew the answer, wishing it would make a difference if he did.

Mika left the castle shortly after he sent her away. Erik had felt it, the pressure slowly lifting from him. Her presence had become a steady tension in his muscles, a constant awareness in his brain, a deep yearning his spirit clung to. It was quiet now; she was drained enough that the waves no longer called to him. If she used her magic in the human world and Damien fed on her regularly, he might never feel her power calling him again. The thought of it brought Erik relief and despair in equal measure.

But the desire was still there. The need to be with her was still there. And now? The feeling of loss at her departure tore at him. He felt his eyes go gold behind their lids, felt his own magic stretching, searching since it could no longer feel hers. He quickly clamped down on it, layering shield upon shield to hold it in. _No more. Let her go._

 **Keep holding my hand, Uzaeris. No matter what happens, don't let go of it.** Her words came back to him, filling him with dread.

_Too late. I had to let you go. You're Damien's, not mine._

Erik felt the crown shift against his chest. He quickly sat up and watched as it wilted and dried out in his hands, the petals dropping down to litter his bed. It warped and he almost dropped it, practically tasting the demon magic as it transformed and twisted into a wreath of dead, bare sticks wrapped around each other.

"I'm sorry, Princess," Erik lamented, his voice echoing through the room.

The door slammed open, startling the Lord of Lilith, his protective wards flashing up around the bed. The guards assigned to ensure his privacy were struggling beyond the threshold. One was fighting Damien, the other fighting... **_Damien?_**

 _Clones,_ Erik realized as his brother strode past them into the room, eyes blazing with anger. He saw the clones disappear as his brother slammed the door closed, locking the guards outside, to stand within his bed chamber, searching.

"Izroul!" The Lord of Lilith was sitting in the middle of his bed, still in his glamour, his eyes losing their golden glow. Leaves and detritus were strewn over the blanket around him, one hand holding a wreath of thin, bare wooden branches as Damien approached.

"Erik," he answered back with his brother's human name. Shadow was right, Erik was in bed, but Damien couldn't see Mika. Still, he'd heard Erik speaking to her and refused to let the guards turn him away. "Where is she?" he demanded, stalking to the foot of the bed, just on the other side of Erik's wards. His brother seemed surprised as Damien stood within his bedchamber.

It truly was empty; Mika wasn't here. However, that didn't let Erik off the proverbial hook. "Take this shield off of me, right now!"

"I can't." Erik wouldn't even consider it as he carefully put the crown down on his pillow.

"You mean you won't," Damien accused.

"You're right, I won't." Erik eyed him back, dropping his wards as he rose from the bed. If his youngest brother wanted a piece of him, he might as well let him take it. _There are so few left._ "Things have changed, Damien," Erik answered sincerely. "You have been gone a long time. And while I love you dearly,” he used the human colloquialism, “I would not wish my thoughts upon you for anything."

"So you would leave me deaf, blind, and ignorant?" Damien seethed. "I am not that ignorant. Where is Mika? I know all of you have wanted her. You're the last to try to have her."

"If she were here, I truly would be the last to have her," Erik quietly agreed.

"What do you mean?" Damien was loath to ask those words, hating his ignorance. It was a sentence he never had to use before, ever. Never had he felt so lost.

"I don't want to hurt her, or you for that matter," Erik admitted, turning away to approach the curtained window. Suddenly, he wanted the light, needed it shining down on him. "Mika isn't here. I thought she would be with you but Sam must have had James send them back." He drew the heavy fabric aside to reveal the gray of dusk. It was later than he thought.

 _Mika left without me?_ Damien flushed. "Give me back my power," he insisted.

Erik turned around, only to find himself facing another memory from his past, another time when his brother came to his bedroom in the Demon Lord's palace...

"I don't want this power anymore." Izroul insisted from the doorway of Uzaeris' room. At the cusp of adulthood, it would have been a petulant complaint if not for the situation.

Uzaeris was surprised to see him. He thought the youngest of them would seek Raestrao for comfort after he heard the news, just as all the castle had, of Izroul's mother's death. Especially hearing that Izroul had been there when it happened. Some even went so far as to say the young mind reader made his mother kill herself but Uzaeris knew better.

Izroul loved his mother, though he couldn't spend much time with her. As slaves, he hadn't been allowed in their father's harem for years and she rarely had the ability to leave it.

"I don't want to be a demon, I want to go to the human world," the young mind reader added.

"Why would you want to go to the human world?" Uzaeris asked incredulously, gesturing his brother inside.

He checked to make sure no one was watching them out of habit before pulling the door closed, though Izroul would have known. Uzaeris had met his own mother's demands that afternoon by satisfying two minor noble ladies, twin sisters. She would leave him be until his next lesson, tomorrow. His jaw hurt but otherwise, he was no worse for wear and it had given him plenty of energy.

"It's not like here," Izroul confided, sitting on Uzaeris' bed. He leaned back against the headboard, hugging his legs to his chest, his chin resting on his knees. "They don't have slaves. They don't force you to do things..."

Uzaeris sat beside him, mirroring him, much as he did when talking to Raestrao. He didn't believe his youngest brother for a second. Not every land called a slave a slave, but they still had them. And no matter where you went, you would always have to do things you didn't want to. He didn't want to have sex, had somehow managed to avoid it so far, but he was an incubus, he'd starve without it.

 _Sometimes, you just have to embrace what you are,_ he thought to himself and his brother.

"And sometimes, you can change it," Izroul whispered back.

It gave Uzaeris pause. They, the two of them, were both trapped. The minute Raestrao married, their eldest brother would end his studies and take the position of Heir Apparent beside their father. Though Raestrao insisted he wouldn't let it happen, Izroul could be thrown into the slave pens. If not, he'd join the others working in the castle. He was still a slave, after all. Just as Uzaeris would be, in a way. As an homme de joie, his title would be courtesan if he couldn't catch a queen to become her consort or ultimately, marry her and become a lord.

There was a princess coming to the castle. She would marry one of them, an arranged marriage his father wanted. It was the only one the Demon Lord ever considered accepting for any of them. Uzaeris knew it would be Raestrao.

"You wouldn't have to be a consort in the human world," Izroul answered his thoughts. "People can be anything."

"You've been talking to that warlock for too long." Uzaeris shook his head. "You dream too much for a mind reader."

Izroul stared across the room. "Sometimes, dreams are all we have. And sometimes, we can make them happen. But they'll only happen if we try." He looked back at his brother to see Uzaeris pause. "We could take Raestrao with us," he added.

 _Free._ Free from their father, free from their mothers, free from the court. **Free.**

_Raestrao would never do it. He'd never leave._

"He will if you go," Izroul whispered, planting the seed. "He'd follow you."

Uzaeris gave a snort. "Follow me? Our brother follows Father and no one else."

"You're wrong," the young mind reader was adamant. "He listens to you."

"He listens to Aomaris more," Uzaeris pointed out. "He trusts Ao's judgment."

"But he loves you most." Izroul met his gaze.

"Don't say that. Demons don't love; we aren't capable of it."

Izroul only met him with silence. Uncomfortable, Uzaeris stood and leaned against one of the bedposts, arms folded. "You're wrong. If he could love, then Raestrao would love you the most. And you know it."

They all did. Every one of the brothers held Damien as special. He knew them, really knew them. He could understand when it was so hard to find the words to explain. Or when you simply couldn't explain? You didn't have to. He just knew and accepted you.

 _You've made me a better person from your powers,_ Uzaeris explained in his mind. _Knowing you're listening? It's a comfort to me._ He never wanted to disappoint or sadden Izroul, never wanted to give in to his own despair when his brother was still so positive, so innocent, despite all that happened to him.

"You know I'm not innocent." Izroul frowned, angered by the mold Uzaeris tried to press him back into. "Don't deny how terrible this world is. I know it all, every last bit of darkness in this fucking castle."

His cold voice gave Uzaeris the chills. It was true. But the brothers all wished they could protect him from it, shield him from it all.

"I lost my innocence long before you ever will, Uzaeris." Izroul got up and headed for the door. Hand on the knob, he turned back.

"And I did make her do it. I made my mother kill herself. Not on purpose, but she took her life because she couldn't stand me reading it all from her mind, living her abuse with her day after day. She couldn't stand that the only way to stop it, that she could think of was to kill me. Until she realized she could kill herself.

Unlike all of you, she couldn't pretend that anything was good."

"Wait, I'm sorry!" Uzaeris stared at him, crushed by the news. That his brother went through that...

"Don't be sorry. Change it. Come to the human world with Zecaeru and me." Izroul paused. "We can't change this world but we can leave it. Everything will be better away from here."

"Izroul..." It was difficult for Uzaeris to grasp. What if the warlock was trying to trick them? Demons were bound servants to humans who could wield magic. What if they couldn't come back?

"You can do magic," Izroul pointed out.

It was true, though Uzaeris didn't study or practice it. Instead, he learned enough to hide it the best he could. He didn't want their father knowing. The Demon Lord slaughtered most of his mages, swearing he couldn't trust them. He definitely wouldn't trust his second son with magic.

"Harold can teach you," Izroul added.

Uzaeris couldn't speak. He couldn't answer. Part of him wanted to go and part of him knew where his place was. But if he could get Izroul and Raestrao out...

"Think about it." The mind reader left him.

The next day, Uzaeris helped Harold open the gate. He walked through it with all of his brothers.

 

*

"Don't get me wrong, this isn't paradise," Karas insisted to Aomaris, turning down another street, heading towards the outskirts of town. "It’s not even close but it's a lot better for some of us. I'm a guard here now, under the Demon Lord's service, and I volunteer for Emwin."

"It seems surreal." Ao couldn't keep from staring, from realizing all of this was Raestrao. All of this was his brother slowly and methodically putting change after change after change into place. He could even recognize where his brother was inspired by the human world.

"Oh it's real,” Karas chuckled. “The local nobles are pissed enough, we can't help but know it's real. They're making some things harder; a lot of skirmishes with their guards. He's taking some of their control away, you see? They're feeling threatened. Some are embracing it, the lesser nobles mostly, and running with the new system. With support from the crown, they're succeeding and attracting others towards it, but there's not a lot.” The old guard sighed. "Many more are just waiting for the Demon Lord to fall and others I'm sure are trying to make it happen. And when it does? Who knows what this land will be like. But most of us, we'll take it for now."

Karas stopped at the small wooden gate of a cottage. There wasn't much to it that Aomaris could see, but the guard beamed at him proudly. "This is my home, Ao. My family's. My wife is out in the field, harvesting the last fall has to give us. What she used to do as a slave and now it brings us food and money and gave us this."

"I'm happy for you, Karas," Aomaris meant it. "For you and all the others that made it."

"I knew you would be. Saw how the bad surprised you. I had to show you the good. After all, you fought for this too, Dragon Lord."

Aomaris stared and Karas laughed, clapping him hard on the back. "Please, boy. You disappear right after the final battle, then show up ignorant, missing that horn and with a scar like that down your chest and think we haven't heard the stories? I'm not gonna ask how you managed to come back from the dead. "

Ao ran a hand over his hair, giving the sergeant a sheepish look. "I was hoping no one would recognize me. Did you know before?"

"Before the war?" Karas raised a brow. "A prince with a mouth like yours, drinking and scrabbling with the rest of us riff-raff?" He gave a snort. "Oh Hell, no. Not ‘til you said your brother's name, today. Only one of the brothers would dare throw the Demon Lord's real name around like you did. But that's here; most of us didn't fight in your war. No way you're going anywhere in your brother's kingdom without them knowing."

"Maybe that's not a bad thing," Aomaris replied gruffly.

"Depends, Ao." For the first time, Karas' hand reached for his sword. "Whose side are you on now?" the sergeant asked, pulling the steel from its sheath.

"Hey! I fought my father," Ao raised his hands defensively. "I'm not fighting you."

"You've seen what we have to lose. If you're against the Demon Lord, then I'm against you." Karas leveled his blade. Others on the road paused, another demon in the distance reaching for her blade to assist Karas if he needed it.

"I'm not against him. I, I was. The things I've heard..." Aomaris gingerly reached a hand forward and gently pushed Karas' sword point away. That the demon let him showed everyone that the situation was defusing.

"What things?" the sergeant's eyes narrowed.

Aomaris looked around, not wanting to discuss it in plain view.

Karas gave a snort and sheathed his blade, then pushed the gate open. "Be my guest," he ushered the Dragon Lord into his humble home and sat him at his table.

"So what did you hear?" Karas finally asked once they were comfortable. His wife, Tula, had returned and was hastily putting together dinner for them all. A rabbit demon, she was surprised at their unexpected guest, glancing at him from the corner of her eye nervously now and again. Aomaris tried to smile to put her at ease. It didn't work.

"Tyranny, mostly: forcing his people to follow his whims, strict laws preventing business and prosperity, heavy taxes and fees, imprisonment or death if you can't or won't pay. Lots of death," Aomaris admitted.

"Well, all of its the truth." Karas nodded in agreement to the Dragon Lord's surprise. "If you're a noble who had your slaves taken away and forced to pay them. If you were a slave monger abusing and tormenting those beneath you. I've killed a few of them, myself."

Tula stilled at the kitchen counter. "He was right to do it," she added quietly. The first words she spoke since welcoming him to her home. "The Demon Lord's right. Those won't change, won't rehabilitate. What they did? They deserved it, every last one of them. Otherwise, they'd lie and go right back to it, even worse."

"Who've you been talking to, Ao? The commoners or the nobles?" Karas studied him. "You got another brother back beyond that border you just crossed, don't you? Sitting in his fancy house full of slaves, throwing fancy parties. What's he been saying to you?"

_He doesn't know. Uzaeris can't know this is happening to his people. He doesn't know what Raestrao's really been doing._

There was no way the incubus could endorse the enslavement of the citizens of the border towns. Aomaris, himself, only saw paid servants, not slaves, in Lilith Castle. _You didn't really look for slaves, though, did you?_ Sadly, to him they were invisible more often than not from his upbringing. He knew more back under his father's reign and there was always Izroul and his mother. But he'd been more focused on Mika, on Oros, on Raestrao and Uzaeris, this past week.

"You fought the wrong brother, Aomaris." Karas quietly chided him.

"He's not bad. He... I don't think he knows," Ao admitted to them.

"How can he not know?" Tula set plates of steaming food in front of them before taking her own and sitting with them. "How can he not know when anyone walking down any street in that kingdom will see the misery?"

*

 

"Take the shield off. Please," Damien's request was low and insistent.

"You hated your power," Erik mused out loud. His memories were bittersweet. Despite going through the portal, he'd still ended up right back in the Abyssal Plains, the only changes for him were for the worse. But Izroul had escaped; Damien lived in the human world now. Erik knew he shouldn't hold it against him, but a part of him burned in envy, anyway. His brother would have Mika and his human world.

"You used to hate hearing the thoughts of others around you." Erik made himself turn away, made himself walk to the harpsichord in the corner of his room."You hated learning what everyone really thought." His fingers traced the gilt scroll work along its edge. "You wanted to be a human, Izroul." Erik frowned and considered his brother. "Has that changed?"

“No,” Damien flushed. It hadn't changed. He'd lived in the human world for six lonely years and still wanted it. He wanted to be what Mika wanted. A human, just like Andrew and just like her.

"Then while you're here, pretend it's true," Uzaeris urged. "Pretend that you're human. With your mind reading blocked, your glamour, and with Mika at your side, you are the closest you will ever come to it. Be happy in your ignorance of this world and glad that you can't hear any of it, now," the Lord of Lilith beseeched his brother.

The mind reader shook his head, appalled. Damien wasn't as close to Uzaeris as his other brothers. Erik had always kept a distance, always fighting guilt over every thought he had. He was the one brother always trying to push the world away, hiding from it in plain sight while desperately wanting to be a part of it.

"I'm not you." Izroul's words echoed with his demon voice, striking Uzaeris dumb. "I won't ignore what I don't like, I won't pretend to be what I'm not." Erik was taken aback. The words were a painful slice for the Lord of Lilith, way too close to the truth from someone he hadn't seen in decades.

"You do, if you hate what you are," the incubus quietly answered.

"No. You change it. Or if you can't change what you are, you change what you do with it." Damien insisted. "I want to be a human, but I can't. So I live with them and help them. I hate being a mind reader, but it helps me grow closer to Mika and I like knowing what she thinks. Just like I want to know what you, or James, or Matthew, think. You're my brother." Damien explained as if that said it all.

Uzaeris closed his eyes feeling a lump rise in his throat. "I am vile, Damien. What I've done, what I think while doing it." All those years of fantasy. It wasn't Mika, Erik knew it was only an idea of her, a dream to get him through the days. He always knew it wasn't real. But it would upset his brother. And what was even worse were his thoughts of what he suspected. Not only that Damien had killed Andrew and set all of this in motion, or the choice rapidly approaching, but what would happen once that choice was made. "Something is happening to Mika," he admitted.

"Happening to her?" Damien paused. "You mean her magic coming back?" He knew it was, he had experienced it first-hand in his apartment.

"It isn't her magic. I mean, it is but not." Erik brushed the hair back from his face, resigned as he realized he couldn't easily explain it, not with words. And if he were to speak of it, it would be to Mika herself, first. There was only one other option.

"What do you mean?" Damien asked quietly.

"You want to be a human, Izroul." Erik shrugged one slender shoulder, then elegantly waved his hand, dropping the shield to let his brother hear it all. "But what if I told you Mika's becoming a demon?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit  
> Scars - Boy Epic  
> https://youtu.be/RCRXobvs9_I


	35. And now I'm falling, so promise that you'll catch me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling...

Matthew growled under his breath as he drove back to the office, Mika's energy still buzzing under his skin like an overdose of caffeine. It served as a reminder of how much she trusted him, spurring him to keep going despite the hurdles that continued to rise up. He refused to consider his own nerves.

Once Naomi left, he spent the entire night in his office, rehearsing what he'd pitch to who, fine-tuning his slides, and reviewing the acquisition contract David Anderson was proposing. Then he was out with the dawn, heading to the lakefront. The run went as planned, though the conversation with the board member was not nearly as thorough as he'd hoped for. He'd secured a vote but not an ally.

The temptation to enthrall the woman had been strong, too strong for Matthew's liking. With the pressure mounting, it would have been an easy win. The way she looked at him, he knew he could have simply seduced her for the vote but that would have only hurt him in the future. Once revealed, it would give ammunition to anyone looking to discredit him. Not to mention, there was only one woman Matthew was interested in now and he wouldn't betray Mika for anything.

It was only a small win, though, before everything went sideways. The breakfast he'd scheduled was canceled, three potential votes slipping through his fingers without any explanation. The first law firm he hired found that delaying the process of acquisition was beyond his reach. He wasn't a leading shareholder, wasn't a board member, and had no legal connections to Harold or the Anderson family. Harold may have given him and his brothers identities and money, but he never officially adopted them into his household.

Without winning the vote, Matthew had no way of slowing or stopping David from selling, short of evidence of fraud or illegal business practices that would trigger a full-fledged federal investigation. And he had worked meticulously to ensure such a thing could never happen in any of his business practices. If anything, he'd strengthened the company's legal policies while working for Andrew.

Even with Mika, the chances of stopping the acquisition were slim without securing the vote. She owned majority share but she wasn't a board member, wasn't CEO, and until last week, was only a student, unaffiliated with the company. Her ties to the direct conductance of business, despite owning it, were nonexistent. Without having an established leadership role, overthrowing the decision of David and the board wouldn't be defensible in a court of law.

That left his backup plan. Matthew visited the second law firm he hired to review the actual agreement. The contract David was proposing was tempting from both a monetary and a corporate development standpoint. More than tempting, he learned it already had an endorsement from the trade commission and the stamps of no fewer than four other law firms. The documentation was tight; Madison Entertainment had done their homework and made sure everything was in line. All it needed were the right signatures and Anderson Toys would be no more.

"Fuck!" Matthew slammed the steering wheel in frustration. _Don't lose it now, Talbot. Don't lose it now. Things are tough but you can still pull it off. It's not over. Your brothers will save Mika, you'll save the Company._

Pulling into the parking lot once more, his brows rose at the number of cars he recognized parked around his own spot. Even the members he was supposed to have breakfast with were here. He jumped out of his convertible, hitting his fob to lock it as an afterthought as he stalked inside, his stomach dropping further.

The reception area was empty but the building wasn't silent. He bypassed the elevator and took the stairs, wanting to burn some of the anxiety rearing up at what he would find, listening to the rumble of distant conversation from the floors above.

"Matthew!" Jeanne approached the moment she saw him, tablet in hand.

"What's going on?" He glanced around. The executives were gathered in small groups, looking as worried as he felt. Board members were talking and walking down the halls as if it were a social gathering.

"David called a meeting," Jeanne's voice cracked.

"I didn't get any notifications." Matthew pushed away his dread. No one called him; even his allies were deserting him.

"He purposely left us out of the loop. I was just about to call you. It's a board meeting. None of the officers were invited." And yet his peers were here, guiltily not meeting his eyes. "David set it up directly and fired Cindy," she added quietly under her voice.

"Shit." Matthew pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt for the secretary but couldn't let it derail him. Everything was slipping out of his control, moving too fast. The company had been a boulder he'd pushed up a mountain for years and now, of all times, it decided not just to roll but to drop off the other side entirely.

"Matthew, where's Mika?" He could hear the fear in his secretary's voice.

It was the twelve billion dollar question that everything rested on.

*

The thoughts rushing at him almost knocked Damien over. After such silence, it was as if Erik were shrieking in his ears. All that had happened, all that circled in his brother’s mind, threatened. It was a downward spiral; a vortex of guilt, shame, and depression; denied anger, resentment, and crippling need. And at the heart of it all was Mika.

Damien tried to steel against it, losing his glamour, his eyes flaring with gold to see his brother in his true demonic form. _He’s changed._ Uzaeris looked different, beautiful. His stripes had become more intricate, his lean body framed by the wings of a true incubus in the deepest red, his sorrowful expression almost heart-breaking.

Izroul inadvertently took a step closer, then another as he looked down into his brother's amethyst eyes. His powers delved deeper, well beyond the surface thoughts, drawn in. He could feel the pull, the want, the ravaging hunger of the incubus. He'd felt it himself for years but not like this. Their half-blood had saved them from the full brunt of it, but now?

**_Diana. Ezaeur._ **

"She did this to you," Izroul growled low in his throat, his reaching hand clenching into a fist. It took incredible effort to stave his brother’s hunger, a mental focus that he barely had, only from starving for his entire life. It shook him to his core, bringing his own need screaming to the surface. He gasped, his skin breaking out in a sheen of sweat over the bold black stripes, every muscle locked with tension, trembling.

"It’s all right." Uzaeris took the final step between the two of them, seeing his brother's reaction and knowing exactly what he was feeling. Izroul was glorious, taller than him, almost as tall as Raestrao, with the same broad shoulders. The cute little black ram's horns Uzaeris had remembered so fondly now impressively curled with allure. His mother's eyes and that coppery hair gave Izroul an exotic beauty among demons. Neither bloodline having the power to define him, Izroul had grown into a perfect blend of seduction and strength.

The Lord of Lilith reached up to brush the coppery bangs from his brother's brow, exposing those indigo-gold eyes completely. Izroul could see the incubus' wings rising from Uzaeris' back, moving to curl around them as he heard the thoughts of approval of the demon he'd become. He leaned into his brother’s touch, his mind a daze of want, need, hunger.

A murmured word from Uzaeris’ lips and the shield slammed back down over his brother’s power once more. The sheer relief made the mind reader stagger, shivering, and Uzaeris placed a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

"I had wondered if you'd feel it. It’s why I can’t just shield myself." Erik dropped his gaze, his brother seeing him back in his human glamour once more as he stepped away.

"How?" Damien stepped back as well, confused. "How can you hold it back?"

"I hide in this castle, feeding on those who would willingly give it to me,” the incubus shrugged. “But it has grown. It's gotten stronger with Mika so close and now with her gone, it's even worse." Erik fought the emotion that threatened. He dropped down on the edge of the bed, cradling his head in his hands, fighting the tears. That even his own brother was a temptation...

"The first year was the worst," he forced himself to continue. "Ezaeur's family, each of them grew into this. I'm sure they had methods to control or alleviate it, ways that I know nothing about. Their magic was so strong. I've read every book in the library, all of their histories, but nothing speaks of it. I know Ezaeur could feed on this entire castle without touching any of them. As Consort, I would purposely trigger the court's desire for her. But I have not mastered that method of feeding, I only know the basest of ways."

Damien took a deep breath, willing his heart to slow, pushing his own hunger away once more.

"I'm sorry," Erik noticed the effort it took. "I haven't dared to be with anyone since Tiffy. Mika's energy is strong enough that I can pick up some of it purely from proximity, but it's reached the point I cannot trust myself to skim from her." That required contact: touches, hugs, and each became harder to keep from growing into more. He almost couldn’t let her go in the garden. "When she becomes a demon-"

"You don't know that!” Damien fiercely interrupted. “You don't know that Mika will become a demon." He had heard the chaos of those thoughts. Uzaeris reaching for an answer to what was happening. There was a choice, that meant a chance. Things were not set in stone.

"Ezaeur-" Erik tried to explain but his brother spoke over him.

"Even dead she won't leave us alone," Damien growled, stalking to one of the walls and leaning back against it. It put more distance between his brother and him, giving them more space to recover. "She started all of this when she killed Harold." His brother startled at the news.

"Of course she wouldn't tell you," the mind reader snarled nastily. "It was her,” the hate in those words echoed though the room, chilling Uzaeris. “When she followed us to the human world, she forced the gate open again. She held Harold’s power captive, draining him to hold it while she stepped through. Killing him." The mind reader choked the words out. They still hurt, even after so many years. Harold had meant the world to him. Harold and Mika.

"She didn't," Erik couldn't believe it. Ezaeur had opened the gate into the human world more than once after Harold had passed, completely on her own.

 _But you didn't open it on your own the first time either,_ he remembered. It had needed cooperation from both sides to build the link. He and his brothers all shared their energy with Harold to do it. If Ezaeur had made the warlock use only his own power so soon after they had come across, it would have drained him completely, causing shock and imminent death. It explained Harold’s sudden heart attack only too well.

"She did," Damien insisted. "I heard it all when I met her in the hotel. She didn't even know how to open a gate. So she made Harold do it all and learned it from him, without any risk to herself.” _The sheer greed of such an action, the sheer disregard for a man I loved. Harold was more of a father than anyone else in the world._ Damien was trembling again, this time with hate. “She would do anything to get her hands on one of us, anything to make herself Queen of the Abyssal Plains. That was all she wanted and she didn’t care who she destroyed for it."

And Raestrao had wanted her, just as Uzaeris still did, now. The knowledge tore at Damien. He couldn’t blame them for it. _You can’t always choose who you love._ But it didn’t make it any easier to accept.

"Maybe that was true, then," Erik had to agree. When Ezaeur had wanted something, she had a focus and drive to get it no matter the cost, such as saving her Kingdom by marrying Raestrao. That was until his father broke her. "But Ezaeur changed. She returned to the human world and granted Mika her wish, weaving a huge spell to give her a good life."

“After casting the spell that made her run in fear from me?”

The incredulous look his brother gave had Erik reaching for more proof. "She saved me from Father's court, Izroul."

"Did she? Or did you save her and she just kept you as an insurance policy against our brother's wrath?"

Uzaeris bit his lip.

"That was your thought, brother,” Damien reminded him. “Not mine. How many lies have you told yourself to justify her? Do you wear the mask or have you put it on the world to hide it from you?" he accused, forcing his brother to see. "You know what's true. I won't let you delude yourself any longer. You or Raestrao."

Uzaeris flushed as Damien watched him, knowing his thoughts had flooded his brother's mind. His secrets were no longer his own. He was ashamed and afraid. "About Mika-"

"I understand," the mind reader quickly admitted. "You weren't the only one to dream of her all this time."

 _So he did hear,_ Uzaeris wasn’t comforted. "But she isn't mine. She never was." He needed Damien to know. Just as Sam was standing back, he was trying to.

Damien closed his eyes and clutched his throat as if he could still hear his brother’s thoughts. Instead, he was searching through what he now knew and he hummed with disagreement. "You say that, but you still think of Mika as your Queen."

**We'll walk again, won't we Uzaeris?**

Erik felt more naked now than he ever had. He had forgotten his youngest brother's judgment, his ruthless pressure to face your mistakes and fears. Izroul hated lies and Erik felt like his entire life had been nothing but one.

"Yes," he finally admitted his biggest secret. "She is my Queen. I know it. I can feel it, the way our magic blends, the way we're drawn to each other. Mika feels it, too."

Damien's eyes opened to meet his brother’s. He knew Erik wasn't lying. His thoughts and memories confirmed it and they couldn’t lie.

“I think I've bonded with her, Izroul," Uzaeris’ voice broke. "I cannot get her out of my mind. My body screams for her. And in my hunger, I‘m so afraid of what I will do to her."

*

Mika woke to the sound of a crackling fire, the dim light flickering on the walls around. The stone was hard, warm beneath her cheek as she realized she was laying on the table in Lilith Castle. The same one where she had healed Sam and they...

She quickly sat up and her eyes went straight to the mirror, seeing her reflection, dressed in her favorite vest and jeans from home. A shadow moved past, behind her, a masculine figure, and she jolted.

"Sam?" She looked over her shoulder, but no one was there.

The fire popped, shooting sparks with a flash and she turned back, seeing the movement in the mirror once more. He was behind her, wrapped in the dark. There was a hint of stripes, of fine muscles. She knew it was a demon, one of the brothers. She just couldn't see well enough to know who, their face covered in shadow.

But there was no one here except for her. Mika slid down off of the table and approached the mirror, her heart starting to pound as she watched them move closer as well. A well-defined shoulder came up behind her, the stripes shifting over it, flowing over the smooth skin and taut muscle.

She checked behind her again. _Nothing._ The room was empty, the castle silent in the middle of the night. _Maybe Sam saved me again?_ It was so warm, almost stuffy, clouding her thoughts.

She felt a tug on the ribbon at her neck and Mika whipped back around to her reflection, to see they were right behind her. Golden eyes flared open in the dark above her.

"James?" she called, uneasily. If it was, he didn't reply. Unseen fingers pulled at the ribbon around her collar again. Mika's pulse quickened as she watched the bow slowly unknot, felt the fabric rubbing at her throat. The demon shifted behind her, their breath on the back of her neck.

"Who are you?" she whispered as desire flowed through her veins.

"Guess," Sam purred in her ear.

“Sam,” Mika laid a hand over her heart, relieved, and turned around.

The fire popped again, sparks flaring once more, flashing to illuminate the room for a brief second. His other brothers stood around the room before her. James, Erik, Matthew, all of them naked in their demon forms, their eyes burning gold with desire. Mika's body betrayed her, flooding with want at the invitation, at their seductive smiles as they beckoned her to join them in the dark. She jolted as she saw a vision of herself and Sam walk right through her to meet them.

 _Where's Damien?_ Mika stepped back, concerned, bumping the mirror behind her and whipping around to find she could only see the other Mika with the brothers in the mirror. She, herself, was now invisible. Just a spirit in the room

 _This isn't a memory. This hasn't happened. This isn't something one of them is showing me._ Though it felt exactly like it. _This can't have happened, had it?_

She turned back to watch herself step into Erik's embrace, the others moving to surround her, pulling the clothes from her. Her mind and body stuttered with parts of it: flashes of feeling Erik’s mouth on hers, coaxing her to part her lips; Sam's hard body pressed against her back once more, his muscular arms sliding around her waist between her and Erik.

"We will serve you, Miss. All of us." James' voice echoed in her ear and throughout the room.

"You are our Queen," Matthew's lilting voice charmed her. Blue stripes with a goat’s horns curving up from his hair, Mika had never seen him in his demon form, until now.

And then she saw the stripes flowing over her own skin. Royal purple, they swirled and ran down her body, accentuating her curves, enticing them to touch her. Horns rose from her own head, spiraling like a gazelle's. Mika gasped for air, eyes wide, her senses pulled between where she stood and what she saw herself doing with the incubi. The mirror was cold against her back while at the same time she felt them caressing her, drawing her deeper into their midst, guiding her up onto the table with them.

 _That isn't me,_ Mika clung to the thought. _That isn’t me. I’m not a demon._

It was too much. Her body was hostage to the sensations she witnessed, her thoughts muddying with pleasure as golden eyes flared, beckoning flames in the darkness. Mika threw her shields up, turning away, her cheeks blazing in a hot blush. It freed her of the feel of them but she could still hear her moans and panting, mixed with the brothers' grunts, growls, and purrs as they fed on her.

"No!" Mika dropped her face into her hands, hiding from the sight. Leaning against the mirror, she fought tears.

 _That's not me. That isn't me._ She choked on embarrassment, unable to believe what she was seeing.

"Mika." _Damien!_ His voice was soft, gentle, and right in front of her. She looked up to see him in the mirror on the other side of the glass, his hand pressed flat against it as if to touch her. Mika raised her own to the smooth, cold surface opposite his.

"It's alright, you don't have to," Damien's voice was a shelter of calm understanding. "You don't have to do this."

"Part of me wants to," Mika quietly admitted, her breath fogging the glass. "Part of me wants all of you." The thought of Andrew betraying her with her two best friends reared up in her mind and she felt the tears that still dwelled beneath the surface of her composure.

"But I can't do it." When she fell in love with Andrew, she gave her whole heart. She couldn't do any less, if she fell in love with another. Because she needed it, too. _All or nothing at all._ "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing," Damien's gaze softened with a loving look, his heart in his eyes. "Nothing is wrong with you. We care about you. We want to make you happy."

"Why aren't you...?" She couldn't finish the question, glancing back at the table before quickly turning away again. _Matthew._ She still didn't know how she felt about him.

"Do you want me to?" Damien asked, drawing her attention back to him. Mika's face was burning hot, hearing Matthew urging her on, her cries just for him. In the middle of his brothers. She met Damien's eyes, guiltily.

"I could," Damien offered, his fingers coming through the glass to link with hers as she gasped. "I want to be with you, very much," he confessed, his look intense. "Just you and I."

Mika blushed even harder, holding his hand tightly.

"You want me to." Damien broke into a sweet smile as he read her thoughts. "You want to be with me."

He tugged her through the mirror, Mika practically leaping at the momentum, through the frame and into his arms. Her hands gripped the back of his jacket in an attempt to keep her balance. The table was empty behind him, the room silent now, but for the two of them. The mirror was only a mirror once more.

Damien turned them around, his eyes dancing as he held her away and looked her up and down. "We can do it all," he gave a knowing smile, his clothes vanishing before he lifted her up against him. He laid her down on the stone table before climbing over her. His fingers tracing her jaw, his look tender as he knelt between her legs.

"My brother’s names might be on you, but so will mine. You'll be mine," he asserted, caressing her cheek gently as he looked down at her. Mika reached to cradle his hand against her face.

Damien blinked and his eyes rolled to solid black orbs. Dark hands shot out from the darkness behind him, reaching to pin her arms and legs down against the stone. "You'll be mine, once you're dead." His hands closed around her throat.

"Izrou-!" Mika's scream cut off as he squeezed. Her nails raked at his arms as she frantically tried to push him away.

Damien grinned maliciously as he strangled her, the fireplace extinguishing to plunge them into complete darkness.

*

 _David is being a little bitch._ There was no other way to put it. Unfortunately, even men could be lured into playground drama like twelve-year-old girls. Matthew bit back his anger and smiled as he stepped from his office towards a cluster of them now: old men in suits whispering among themselves, eyes studying him as he approached. He half expected them to break into mean giggles, literally, grown men the age of Mika's grandfather.

_Human nature in all its glory._

He wished he could say he'd seen worse, but he hadn't. David was undermining Mika in every way possible. Talking as if she were still a child, calling her spoiled though she'd been independent for years, acting as if she never did anything for the company when she'd helped in the development of most of Anderson's top selling toys.

"Matthew," one of them called him into their circle and he casually stepped in.

"Marcel, Tim, Richard," he nodded to each in turn.

"Where's the girl?" Marcel barely waited for him to finish his greeting.

"Mika is handling her family's loss," Matthew kept his voice solemn.

"She doesn't have a family," Richard pointed out arrogantly.

"She does." _She will always have me._ But Matthew fought his hardest not to react strongly, staying casual. "She lost her father-in-law, as well as her fiancé, right on the verge of her wedding day. It's a lot for anyone to deal with in a matter of weeks. They were planning on children, gentlemen."

It was a low card to deal but they were playing dirty. It was Mika's business, but he had to take any advantage he could.

"I recall Andrew mentioning it. Another heir would have given more stability to the Company."

 _You really are a dick, Richard,_ but Matthew made himself nod thoughtfully.

"I heard you took her home Friday. Comforting her, Talbot?" Marcel eyed him and this time Matthew held his composure easily. Their taunts over his private affairs were common, usually 'jokes' from dirty old men. This time the innuendo was nasty, another gift from David, no doubt.

"Shouldn't we all try to help her? I drove her home. With how distraught she was, I thought it was more prudent than dealing with yet another funeral." He met the man's eyes and the Board members actually flushed, sobering.

"Is she that upset? Do we need to consider professional help for her?" Tim asked, thinking aloud. He was letting the other two talk but he wasn't walking away, either, making Matthew realize he had to catch him quickly.

"She's already seen a professional and is in treatment," he confirmed.

"Meds?" Tim asked. For once, it wasn't judgmental. There were enough pills passed around at their level that it was considered more of a risk not to be on them. The man was genuinely concerned.

"Yes," Matthew admitted it, feeling even dirtier but forcing himself to continue. "From the family physician," _who might be in David's pocket,_ he now realized. He fought his dismay, trying hard not to consider his miscalculation. It was too late and couldn't be helped, now. Instead, he changed the topic. “Anderson Toys will get past this rough patch.”

“Do you truly believe that?” Tim studied him.

"Gentlemen." _David._ Matthew turned at the voice, keeping his smile in place as David Anderson stepped up to the group. "And Talbot," Mika’s father added after a pause, the others chuckling. "Decided to come in today, Matthew? I've been trying to reach your brother."

"Tell him I say 'Hello' when you do," Matthew congenially replied. "And as I was saying, even with these setbacks, Anderson can continue business as usual," he assured the other board members.

"Business as usual? Jared's feedback was invaluable," Tim narrowed his eyes. "His was the last foundational vision of the Company. He cannot be replaced so easily."

"So presumptive," Richard tsked, folding his arms.

"Overstepping again, Talbot?" Marcel almost smirked.

 _You’re such a bitch, too,_ Matthew thought to himself.

"You keep acting like you're an Anderson. I'm seriously concerned.” Marcel was completely in David’s pocket. “Should you even be allowed to work with the girl? Who chose you in the first place?"

 _Andrew did,_ Matthew seethed on the inside. But Andrew was long gone in these men's minds. _It wouldn't be a defense at all,_ but an opportunity for them to change him out. "Jared insisted and I agreed for the sake of the Company and his family, " Matthew admitted instead. "Along with legal." That last bit brought them pause for a moment, at least. Nothing trumped legal. Only public relations came close. The lawyers maintained the ultimate say in everything.

"His family?" David had remained quiet but now pounced. "What about my family?" Matthew saw the trap too late.

"It is the Anderson Company, not the Lewis Company," Tim solemnly pointed out to him, as if he needed the reminder.

"Or the Talbot Company," Marcel had to add, even though they all knew Tim's unspoken implication.

"Gentlemen, I think I need to have a talk with Mr. Talbot. If you will excuse us." David looked straight at him, gesturing down the hall. "My office, now."

Matthew knew he couldn't do anything but comply. He didn't look back as he followed Mika's father, keeping his head high and his manner relaxed. He heard the whispers start again before he took his first step.

_Shit._

*

"Shadow will find Mika," Damien took a deep breath, fighting the jealousy rearing up within him. _Erik is trying to help you,_ he reminded himself. "He told me Sam and James left. I asked him to tell her I'm looking for her."

"Shadow?" Erik's gaze darted back to his brother as he rushed to his feet.

"Yes, your steward."

"Then she didn't go with Sam," Erik tried to still the pounding of his heart.

"Not from what he said." Damien was confused, following as Erik quickly strode from the room.

 _The last time you saw her, she was headed for the stable._ “What am I doing?” Erik abruptly stopped, cursing under his breath. He whirled around to see Damien almost run into him. Calling his magic, Erik's teleportation ward swallowed the two of them to deposit them just outside the stable doors.

"What's wrong?" Damien couldn't hear his brother's thoughts but could see the fear on his face.

"Mika!" Erik called, jogging down the aisle between the stalls. "Mika, answer me!" He skidded to a halt, staring down in horror.

Damien saw the flowers scattered across the floor. Some of the blossoms were crushed, the rest wilted as if the life energy were pulled from them.

"What happened?" the mind reader demanded as his brother dropped to one knee.

"Shadow magic," Erik could feel it.

"Your steward?"

"He’s been way too interested in her. He cannot be trusted. Shadow has been trying to undermine me since before Ezaeur..." The incubus' voice dropped away as his fingers touched the broken crown Mika once wore for him. "I should never have let her go. She ran off alone. This is my fault."

"But your magic," Damien reminded him, as concerned as he felt. "You can trace her signature."

Erik looked up at him, his composure starting to crumble. "I can’t! Her signature is the same as mine," he whispered. He couldn't trace her, the spell would only circle back on himself.

"There has to be a way," Damien cursed the shield once more, wishing he could hear his brother's thoughts.

"The book." Erik stood once more as the mind reader bit back his frustration. "Maybe in the book."

Once more they teleported, Damien fighting dizziness before realizing he was back in the library, Shadow long gone. Erik didn't even notice, running for his workroom. He opened the arcane lock, ushering Damien through before slamming the door closed. Erik's long fingers crept through the books on one shelf, checking every spine, every cover.

"It should be here," the incubus insisted, rechecking. They weren't tightly packed but this was his shelf, his personal research. A book was missing. The book. "Mika shouldn't have taken it." She shouldn't have noticed it, so narrow among all the others. "She would have told me, otherwise." And would have been sorely upset to find Erik had it.

"Which book?" Damien scanned the shelves around them.

"Her journal." Erik admitted. "Handwritten, about this size." His hands spread apart to indicate a size that Damien recognized.

Erik's eyes widened as his brother reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled the journal out, much like Zecaeru would have conjured a copy of it. "That's it! How did you get it?" Erik snatched it, quickly flipping through the pages only to see Damien's writing and sketches. "You wrote in it?!"

"This is mine," Damien explained, carefully taking the book back. "But I gave her one just like it when she came to my store." He paused, lifting the ribbon. The gold ribbon. He'd just seen a gold ribbon. "Shadow."

Erik went pale as his brother described how he'd found the steward in the library, reading. How the shadow demon had carefully laid the same gold ribbon to mark his place before putting the book in his sash.

"He couldn’t have gotten it! He has no magic, he couldn’t break the lock on the door and I’d know if it was tampered with. I never leave the door open. It's specifically warded against him and his wraiths," Erik fought his panic, Damien watching with his own concern rising. The information in that book, the odd mixture of demon and hell-borne magic that Mika had written in her drug-induced weariness, was terrifying to consider in Shadow's hands. Erik had meant to ward the book, itself. He’d meant to read through it, but then James banished him and Sam and Mika arrived.

_And now Shadow has it._

Damien met his eyes. "We need Sam and James."

 

*

“Just what do you think you're doing?” David snarled, slamming the door closed behind them.

“Saving the company,” Matthew believed it with all his heart. “You can't do this!”

“Why? Has Mika told you she doesn't want to sell?” David looked down his nose at the shorter CTO.

“You can’t sell it without at least talking to her!” Matthew was almost pleading. He hated it, but David’s arguments were too strong. “Please. Just wait until you’ve had a chance to talk to her.” He couldn’t conceive of Mika wanting to sell her grandfather’s legacy.

"My daughter is not vested in this Company, but I am." David's voice was firm as he moved around his desk and sat.

"How can you say that when you're trying to sell it the first chance you get?!" Matthew raised a hand to indicate everything around him. “All of this? You’re just going to give it away?” He felt like he was running in circles.

"Grow it, Matthew," David haughtily corrected him. "I am trying to grow The Anderson Company by placing it in a strong partnership with Madison and giving it opportunities it's never had before."

"That isn’t what the contract says. We’re going to roll over and hand everything to them. If you really wanted to grow it, you would hold onto it and do it yourself!" Matthew couldn't believe the man’s hypocrisy.

"You haven't been listening to your own arguments." David's eyes narrowed with a smug smile. "Weren't you the first to point out that my father didn't leave this company to me? That Harold Anderson didn't want it in the hands of his own son? Otherwise, why would he leave it all to a mere eighteen-year-old girl?"

Matthew flushed at how easily David belittled his own daughter. "Because he knew Mika would never agree to something like this," He was sure of it. “Only you are greedy enough to take the money and run.”

"Me and the entire Board. I don’t think they’d appreciate you calling them greedy after all of their hard work,” David smirked. “And as to my daughter, I don't see her here, standing on the other side of this desk stopping me." He leaned towards Matthew, his frown deepening. "I'm fact, I haven't seen her since that humiliating fiasco with the Patterson girl. She left with you.

“Where is my daughter, Talbot?!"

"I don't know. Otherwise, I would be the first to bring her here. How about you tell me where she is?" Matthew snarled back, loud enough for the secretaries outside to hear. He needed to kill such gossip, fast. "It seems you're the one to gain from her disappearance." It was a nasty move to throw the accusation back on David, especially when he knew full well the man didn't know where his daughter was, either. But Matthew couldn't let the suspicion fall on him now, refusing to give the man that advantage.

David paled, furious. "If you've done anything to hurt her-"

"I believe that's always been you. As everyone here has seen in the past." Matthew rebutted, smoothly. "You forget, I know the truth about how ‘happy’ the Anderson family truly is, and I've been trying to reach her for the past day."

"And you want to put the fate of the company in the hands of someone who runs from responsibility like this?" David still tried to leverage it.

"When you are set to kill this company?" Matthew leaned back over the desk, completely disgusted. "Yes! By all means, yes. Or is this your revenge because Andrew isn't here to pay you to leave your daughter alone anymore?"

"Get out!" David roared. "Get out of my office!” He stood, pointing an accusatory finger in Matthew’s face. “You can stay and watch the vote be cast. Today."

Matthew's eyes went wide. No wonder they were all here.

"And when it's over, Talbot, I expect your resignation on my desk." David stalked past him to the door, throwing it open to reveal several board members and executives staring at them. Mercel’s eyes cast a wicked gleam towards Matthew, gloating in his fall from grace.

"And Matthew," David looked smugly back at him, justified by their expressions. "Better let your teams know. None of them have jobs here, anymore. They, or any of the others who've been working with you behind my back. You’re all fired."

Jeanne paled as she peered in from the hallway, Matthew guiltily meeting her eyes as David strode away, the others following Mika’s father.

"I'm sorry," Matthew apologized. He’d blown it. It was over.

"No. You tried." The secretary fiercely shook her head, fighting tears, pressing her lips firmly together to hold back the language she wanted to use as they watched David confidently walk to the boardroom, holding the door open for the others before following and closing the door behind him.

Matthew could see everyone else staring, the other officers left out of the meeting, the admins and clerks who had tried so hard with him. The head of finance, the head of operations, the head of sales, all of them were glum.

"She's right. You tried." The old CFO sighed. Much as he didn't agree with Matthew's methods, he knew more than anyone what the CTO had done for both Andrew and the Company.

"Fuck this," Matthew snapped, glaring at all of them. "It's not over yet. They still have to cast the vote."

He wouldn't roll over so easily. The final battle was taking place in that room and Hell if he'd let David have it without a fight. James would never have rolled over, or Sam. They taught him better than that.

Leaving them all behind, Matthew took a deep breath and entered the boardroom as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit
> 
> Catch me - Yellow Claw and Flux Pavilion  
> https://youtu.be/w-DKxIm667A


	36. Together we are stronger.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bros before hos

"Thank you for your services." Raestrao offered Bryce a hand up from where he knelt, head bowed, on the hardwood floor of the Demon Lord's personal sanctuary. It was a tower room that only Raestrao, his brothers, and his three most intimate servants had access to. Where he would go to hide from his father or anyone else for that matter. While not his bedroom, it still held a bed, a wardrobe, shelves of his most beloved books, a harpsichord in the corner, and a small garden of potted plants arranged on a table in front of the window.

"My Lord?" His steward and the last of his bed partners, Bryce looked up with uncertainty, unaccustomed to speaking in their sessions. Down in the throne room, the Demon Lord had given him that look, indicating he wished to be together this afternoon and Bryce had rushed up here to await him, obedient, eager, and silent.

"Stand," Raestrao commanded, dropping his offered hand as the submissive ignored it. "You are free to go. I will not call upon you again." The tall lord turned away, folding his arms and gazing down at his plants, clearly dismissing him.

"My lord, I don't understand." Bryce was shorter, slender, his ruddy hair dropping into his eyes before he absently swiped it out of the way. "Have I displeased you?"

The submissive had missed their sessions while Raestrao was away. He had waited and wanted, as he always did, for that amber gaze to return and claim him once more. He lived for the intimate mixture of pain and pleasure only the Demon Lord provided. Craving it for so long was another delicious torture, after all. But this... “Are you truly sending me away? Am I no longer worthy?" he asked aloud.

"No. It is I who am not worthy of you," Raestrao sighed. It was becoming easier to confess his downfalls; he'd faced so many of them, now. "I have harmed one I never wished to, betrayed one who has only given me trust, blamed one who never wronged me, and belittled one who has gone on to surpass me.

"I have broken my word to a very good friend who trusted me to care for his loved one, a vow I made upon his deathbed." Raestrao closed his eyes, placing a hand over them to collect himself as the memory of Harold rose once more. "I did not even recognize how wrong all of it was," he whispered in regret. Steeling himself, he continued.

"I have become too used to taking what I want or demanding it from those I should be protecting and caring for." He turned back, looking down at the other demon. He wouldn't touch Bryce, though he wanted to pull the steward up. Just seeing how the demon knelt before him, awaiting his every whim...

_I have become my father._

It was even worse to see the desire it brought, to taste the energy in the air, the submissive's want pulling at his incubus nature and stroking his ego. He'd freed the kingdom's slaves, yet kept his own right here.

_No longer._

"I need to find the path back to who I once was. I will take my punishments, my frustrations, my sins, and bear their repercussions myself; not dole them out to others."

"This has never been a punishment to me!" Bryce met his gaze squarely. "It has never been a burden, my lord. You know it is a pleasure to serve you in this fashion," the demon insisted. They had not been this blunt, this forthright of their relationship, in many years. Not since the steward first coaxed Raestrao into taking him and introduced the young incubus to the pleasures of a partner who desired pain and provided total submission, begging for it. "You can feel my passion, you consume it!"

"But I acquire it for all the wrong reasons." Raestrao refused to be swayed. "I am using you and I will do so no longer."

"I want you to use me! I love the caress of your lash as much as your embrace, your fist as much as your cock." Bryce shook his head. "There is nothing wrong in this."

"There are no feelings beyond the physical." Raestrao turned away once more. "You deserve more than that."

"Feelings?!" Bryce finally stood. "I don't expect feelings. I am your servant, command me! Reprimand me! You are the Demon Lord."

"I will not touch you again." Raestrao's back was stiff, his manner stern.

"What are you talking about?" Bryce spread his arms wide. "I am right here. Throw me down on the bed and take what you want! You cannot play the innocent, not now. I broke you of that our first night."

"I am well aware that I am broken."

"You are not broken!" The steward circled in front of him, exasperated. "You are the Demon Lord; we all kneel for you. You are an incubus and a brute, sex and violence personified. You helped your father conquer the Abyssal Plains! Every night, I long for you to conquer me. Why would you send me away?"

"I don't love you," Raestrao quietly admitted between them.

"Love? Demons don't fucking love," Bryce snarled in return.

 _How did I even find you attractive?_ Raestrao wondered to himself. The sheer vulgarity of the steward was starting to show, he realized, and it reflected on himself. It brought even more shame for his actions.

_I have been out of control. Too buried in the role of the Demon Lord, in my ego, in my hunger. All of it was a mistake I never would have made in another time. **A better time.**_

A time when he would have talked out his fears with Uzaeris, leaning on the harpsichord as his brother filled the room with beautiful music. A time when he would have worked out his frustrations with Aomaris, sparring with his brother in the middle of the room. A time he would have sought out Zecaeru's lighthearted company, his brother cheerfully joking with him over a chessboard or game of cards. A time his thoughts would have drawn Izroul to him, his youngest brother's words always the right ones to bring him back to what was important, to help him find his balance once more.

"Perhaps demons do not love each other, but we can love. How else can I feel so heartbroken?" Raestrao knew it was James asking the question. James, whom he had lost after he had tried so hard to change his life in the human world and failed. James, whom he had smothered trying to win his father's approval once more. James, who couldn't exist when he needed the ruthlessness and aggression to be the Demon Lord. James, whom he really wanted to be and knew it was too late.

 _But James' voice is coming back._ It was a small comfort.

"Raestrao," Bryce spoke his true name under his breath, shocked. It pulled the Demon Lord back to the here and now.

"It is not because of you," Raestrao muttered as he walked to his plants. He brushed the silky leaves with his fingertips. They had brought him more joy than anything else in this room in years.

**Do you still tend the flowers in the garden, Raestrao?**

After all that had happened, Uzaeris still knew him. Being back with his brothers, even for that short time, had shown him how much and how little they had all changed. And it showed him how to get back on track.

"I have already dismissed Merel and Zara." Raestrao forced himself to finish what he'd started. "Our time together is over as well, Bryce."

"But how will you feed?" The steward's brow wrinkled in concern.

"There are other ways and perhaps, in time, I will earn a true companion." Raestrao noticed a new bud. One of the small violets he cared for would bloom soon.

"But... I give myself to you freely," the steward still couldn't accept it. "I want you, need you! I crave your approval, your praise, just as much as your punishment."

"And I cannot reciprocate." Raestrao turned back to the demon, standing firm, resolute to end it here and now. Merel had shed tears. Zara had screamed bloody murder, scratching and biting as he threw her out. He could understand. They were losing status through no fault of their own, from his own capriciousness and lack of self-control. He would be more careful, more responsible, next time.

"I'm not asking you to love me. I don't want your care or concern," Bryce snarled, anger flaring. "I never made it into your father's harem. I want you to bind me and take me like a pleasure slave. I want to be yours, not just to pretend."

"Never!" Raestrao looked back at him, appalled.

"Why not? As you've just said, you have used me for years. You've done it before. Many, many times."

"It cannot continue." Raestrao refused.

"We both like it. We both want it." Bryce moved closer, his look turning sly. "You could have it again, right here, right now." He reached for Raestrao, sinking down on his knees before his lord.

Raestrao's eyes closed, his head dropping back as Bryce's energy rushed up to engulf him. He expelled a deep breath as the steward expertly reminded him of their past pleasure. Raestrao's fingers tangled in that soft red hair, his resolve weakening.

"You could pretend I'm the one you love," Bryce breathed against him.

The Demon Lord's fist gripped his steward's hair, pulling him away. Bryce's rush of pleasure at the physical pain washed over Raestrao and he quickly let the steward go. Raestrao snarled, frustrated that he'd almost fallen prey to his hunger yet again, that he still craved such bed play when it had led him down such a dark road.

One that Mika had suffered from.

"Get out." The very thought of what he'd done disgusted him. "Get out!" he ordered, stepping back from the demon on the floor. "I had wished to retain you as a steward, but no longer. Leave this castle. You are dismissed."

Bryce stood, giving a nasty smirk. "You still want it. You won't be able to deny it for long. Your court despises you! We were all you had. You'll bring me back, I know it. You're your father's son, a Demon Lord, sex and violence. You can't deny your nature. You love to hurt me, just as he did."

The realization that Bryce was one of his father's servants chilled Raestrao to the bone. "Not anymore," he shook his head. "Domination games between lovers are fine, but this? I should have ended this years ago." _I never should have started it._

"You’re pathetic," Bryce spit the words at him as he threw the door open.

"As are you. Thrive off of it with someone else. We are finished." Raestrao was glad he wouldn't have to summon the guards. He would see to it that the steward was well compensated. Bryce wouldn't struggle to find work or another home, but they would never see each other again. He couldn't risk it.

The door closed with a bang and the Demon Lord returned to his window, turning the little violet to give it more light. _Tending my garden._

"You were right to remind me, Uzaeris," he spoke the thought aloud.

"Raestrao?" Hearing his brother's uneasy voice, he spun to find Erik and Damien in the room with him.

*

 

"Thank you for the hospitality." Aomaris stood from Karas' table, preparing to leave when he heard Raestrao's summons. He nodded to Tula, then clasped hands with the guard. "And thanks for showing me around."

"Showing is nothing. I want to see what you do with it," Karas pulled the surprised demon into a hug, much like James would have. "You done good so far, keep going. I'll stand by you just as I stand by your brother. Dragon Lord," the old guard snorted, part amusement, part pride.

"You, too." Aomaris thumped Kara's back before stepping away, his eyes flaring green as Raestrao summoned him again. This time, he let the magic take him. They had a lot to talk about.

"What?" Ao snapped arrogantly, appearing in the tower room with his arms folded. Considering everything Raestrao had done, he wasn’t sure what sort of situation he was walking into this time.

The Demon Lord's mouth thinned, Damien peering over Raestrao's shoulder to see his brute brother for the first time in years.

 _Damn, he's gotten tall,_ was Aomaris' first thought before he happily spread his arms and waved his baby brother to him. "Hey, you! Come here."

The smile that broke out on Damien's face was reward enough but it felt extra good to give his brother a squeeze. His family really was returning. _I missed you, kid,_ Ao thought, Damien's hug stronger than he remembered.

"Good to see you," Aomaris admitted under his breath before letting Damien go. "And there's the pretty boy," Sam caught Erik standing back from all of them, his brother wearing his usual worried frown when he thought no one was looking. "So, you finally got everyone back together again?" Ao turned back to Raestrao with a cocky smile.

"Zecaeru is still in the human world," Raestrao pointedly reminded him. His oldest brother had promised to get Mika back to the human world by Monday, there was still plenty of time in Ao's mind. The brute was sure Matthew could handle David Anderson just fine.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot," Aomaris smirked, walking past them all to plop down on the bed. He'd had a long day and it was only going to feel longer standing around.

"Mika's missing," Damien went right to the point, annoyed at Sam's dismissal of their brother.

That caught Aomaris' attention. "What the hell happened now?!" It had him back on his feet again. "I thought she was with you!" His hard gaze fell on Erik.

The incubus flushed. "I thought she was with you," he countered. "I can't be around her anymore."

Ao groaned. "Of course you can. Just go find someone else to fuck," he growled, exasperated. "It's not that hard."

"Aomaris!" Raestrao scolded his brother's crudity as if they were teenagers again. It had the brute smiling, despite the situation, feeling like they really were coming back together.

"Raestrao!" he mimicked back. "The same goes for you." Aomaris jerked his thumb towards their youngest brother. "Mika belongs to the kid."

Damien flashed him a grateful smile and the brute answered it with a wink before getting down to business. "Last I saw, Damien was sleeping off a bullet. So how'd you two fuck up and lose her?"

"We did not 'fuck up." Raestrao frowned as Erik stepped forward.

"Shadow took her," the Lord of Lilith answered.

"Shit." The humor left Aomaris' face. He looked around the room. "So what are we all sitting around here for? We go back and start tracking her. Make with the circles, Zae," he demanded of the incubus before giving Damien a nod. "Don't worry, we'll get her back," he said it out loud for all of them to hear.

If there was one thing leading the rebel kingdoms taught him; morale mattered.

*

Mika woke with a rush, heaving up off the wooden floor of the enclosed wagon, only to drop back down, disoriented. Her head was pounding, her jaw and throat sore. The room was moving, rocking. She could hear the creaking of wheels beneath her, the faint thumping of hooves and the jingle of harness coming through the floor, pulling her from the nightmare of Damien trying to kill her.

The flickering light of a lantern lit the cold, smoky space. She couldn't breathe, frantically pulling air in through her nose. Her mouth was tightly gagged with a leather bit buckled behind her head, her wrists bound behind her back, ankles belted together beneath her skirt.

"Calm yourself. You're gathering too much of their attention." A thin demon with ridged ibex horns curling from the top of his head studied her from behind wire-rimmed banker's glasses. Tousled blonde hair curled at his ears and down to the nape of his neck. Sitting with his back against the opposite side of the wagon, he was dressed in the livery of Lilith Castle, one of Erik's stewards that she hadn't seen before. He wasn't bound, wasn't doing anything except watch her. She wriggled back as far as she could, shivering as she remembered how Shadow had chased her.

 _He must have caught me._ She didn't see the shadow demon but that didn't mean he wasn't here. All this time the steward had made her uneasy, small warnings that she had foolishly ignored. _I shouldn't have run, I should have stayed with Erik. But I couldn't stay._

"I said calm yourself," the demon instructed, his voice level. "The wraiths can feel your fear and it will only excite them more. I won't be able to stop them if they decide to toy with you further." He leaned his head back against the wood, sighing before the wagon rolled over a steep bump, bouncing the two of them.

Mika furrowed her brow, her breath quickening as she struggled against her bonds. Her jaw ached, the taste of the bit disgusting as she fought not to gag. The rough leather straps were buckled tight, creaking from her effort but doing little else. Her hands tingled and her shoulders ached from the lack of motion and bloodflow.

"Stronger slaves than you have tried to break those and failed," the demon patiently explained and Mika froze.

 _Slave?_ She blinked, then struggled even harder. _No! No! **No!**_

"Don't!" His voice raised angrily and he bit it back, forcing himself to calm as well. "Don't make me have to drug you. Just calm down. It's best if you try to get some sleep."

Mika paused, staring at him as if he were crazy. He gave a tired sigh.

"We have a long way to go in the company of your enemies. Please, close your eyes and try to think of something pleasant." He rubbed his own behind their lenses, then glanced back to catch her incredulous demeanor.

"I am Tristan, my lady," he introduced himself, realizing it might help. "I am your escort." As if that explained anything. "I know who you are and I know you have magic." That caught her attention. "I will not release you from your bonds."

Mike felt her stomach drop, hopelessness threatening. She would not be able to surprise him. He wouldn't free her, knowing she would immediately cast against him. Bound and gagged as she was, she couldn't call Izroul or Uzaeris, couldn't summon her magic, couldn't shield. She was at his mercy.

 _A slave._ The thought terrified her.

Tristan frowned, seeing the light shift around them, though the lantern still burned steadily. The shades lurked, phasing through the wooden walls of the wagon to check on the two of them, drawn by her fear. Mika saw two human eyes, lidless, peering at her from an amorphous black shape as it rose up through the wagon's floor right in front of her face. A strangled scream escaped from behind the bit as she frantically tried to push herself back.

"Away from her!" Tristan commanded the shadow. "She isn't yours!"

The eyes stared, expressionless for a few seconds more before rolling back into the inky black outline of the creature and dropping back down through the floor to leave them alone once more.

"Mika, please! My lord has instructed I keep watch over you. I will deliver you safely. Please help me to do so." The shades would only continue to torment her, feeding off her fear if she didn't calm down. Resigned, Tristan closed his eyes and started to hum.

Mika blinked. It was a beautiful melody, gently rising and falling, filling her head, making her thoughts slow and her mind fog. She was tired. _Or in shock._ She shivered, the cold sweat on her skin letting the chill eat into her.

Tristan rose, still humming, and Mika craned her neck, feeling fresh fear as his gaze leveled at her and she saw the gold. _An incubus!_ He was enthralling her.

She whimpered and shrunk back from him as he slowly pulled his long coat off. She fought against the feel of his powers pushing at her mind. But he only draped the purple wool over her, the warmth and subtle scent of spice in the fabric surprising her.

"Sleep," Tristan sang under his breath, crouching down and tucking her hair back behind her ear. His scarf followed, ink-stained fingers folding it before tucking it under her head to pillow it. "Sleep, Mika," he intoned again before resuming his humming.

Mika forced herself to look drowsily up at him and the gold flared in his eyes, catching her completely. Try as she might to fight it, she found herself drifting back to sleep.

"That’s it. Good dreams this time, I promise," she heard Tristan whisper.

 *

The brothers returned to Lilith Castle to find Uzaeris' stewards dead. Damien watched from the doorway as Erik slowly entered the room, the Lord of Lilith stricken at the sight. The desiccated corpses were locked in silent screams, the agony of their life energy being consumed was almost palpable in the room. If they hadn't been drained completely, they could have become spirits but even that was denied them, Damien saw. The thought was terrifying.

"Wraiths," Aomaris explained grimly to their youngest brother, turning his back on it all with a clenched fist. He'd employed them himself against their father's forces in the war. Shadow's minions were amazingly effective if you didn't know how to fight against them. They were too powerful, too destructive, and too difficult to use if you didn't know how to control them. At least it prevented most from using them.

 _Unless you're their leader,_ Aomaris thought bitterly. _Shadow has to go._

"They're long gone." Sam folded his arms, reminding himself that Erik said Damien couldn't hear his thoughts. It was weird; he didn't like it.

"The demons of the shadow realm cannot survive outside of it without feeding almost constantly, especially in daylight," Erik explained. "They typically watch the world from their realm, only appearing when summoned to descend on their victims. Shadow's one of the few who can control them. Half-shadow, half-incubus, he can live in either realm."

"But you can control them too, right?" Aomaris asked him.

"You're talking about some very nasty magic. Sacrifice." Erik shook his head. "It's the only other way to make them do your bidding, and they'll still turn on you more likely than not."

Raestrao was silent, checking the corpses, studying the room, listening to his brothers. He held back his thoughts, his judgment, and offered no comfort. He had lost many to Shadow's wraiths in the war and he didn't want to think of Aomaris or Erik being the ones to send them. In truth, they all had to make hard decisions in the past. He needed to be concerned with the decisions he was making now. The past would be a stone around his neck for the rest of his life, he would learn to carry it without adding to it.

"There is one missing." The Demon Lord called back at the Lord of Lilith.

Erik looked about, counting. _Six._ He had eight stewards, including Shadow. There was one missing.

Aomaris gave a snort. "One teamed up with the creep?" He looked over to Uzaeris. "You really know how to pick winners."

"Excuse me?" Erik whipped around and glared at the brute. "These were your people, too. Don't forget, you led the rebellion."

"The rebellion, yeah. Not this shit," Sam growled, his eyes narrowing. "This is your mess: slaves, shades, and all."

"You know what I've been going through," Erik spat back at him.

"Stop fighting," Damien cut into the argument.

"Yeah. And I know it's your fault, too." Sam snapped back at Erik.

"I didn't do this!" The incubus' eyes flared magenta, his magic rising up with a circle that appeared at his feet.

"Yes, you did!" Sam shoved past Damien, approaching their brother. "You're responsible for this. Look the fuck around you!" He pointed an accusatory finger. "You killed these demons, you enslaved half of Emwin, and you let Shadow take Mika!"

"Stop fighting!" Damien tried to shout over Sam.

Raestrao crouched, checking one of the bodies. It was nothing but skin, bones, and pale wisps of hair; all that was left after the wraiths had drained it dry. "Emwin?" He heard the name and looked up at Sam, surprised his brother would know the port's plight.

Erik's glamour faltered, his voice cracking in frustration as his demon form returned. "I never wanted any of this to happen."

"Well it did happen," Aomaris snarled. "You lead Lilith. You could have prevented all of this and you didn't!" His fists rose, his teeth bared. "Your head is buried so far up your self-pitying ass-"

"STOP IT!" Damien yelled through the room, startling them all, losing his own glamour.

Raestrao bumped the corpse he was checking, the body rolling to reveal a symbol drawn in ash on the floor: a dark rune writhing with shadow magic. "Trap!" He shouted as it flared to life. Calling up his own shield, he dove for Damien as a dark maw opened in mid-air among them, wraiths pouring from it.

It was a dirty trick from the assassin. Aomaris whirled as Uzaeris threw a shield up to protect him, just before one of the shades could reach him. The Dragon Lord's eyes flared as he called his flaming sword, Oro's weapon once more at home in his grip. He sliced through the wraith with a snarl, wings of flame spreading from his shoulders as he called upon his powers. "Watch yourself!" he called back to Erik, the light of the dragon fire deterring the shades from his brother.

Meanwhile, Uzaeris threw his power at the maw. Latin poured from his lips, his magic lighting up the room as he fought to take control of the opening into the shadow realm.

"Stay back," Raestrao stood between Damien and the encroaching wraiths, summoning his own golden sword and cutting one of them down. His magic wasn't as strong as Uzaeris, but his power was still formidable as he ordered the demons back, his intimidation giving them pause.

Damien hesitated; his clones would do little against the shades. The wraiths were attracted to life energy, they wouldn't be fooled by the illusions. He never dealt with the demons of the dark before but he saw how light, fire, and magic could affect them. As he watched, something else caught his eye. Raestrao sliced at another shade and Izroul saw it again, a ball of light within. It dropped as his brother dispatched the wraith, rolling across the floor, and Damien dove for it before another shade could snatch it up.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Sam leapt over him, flames cutting through more of the demons as his brother plunged into the midst of them.

Damien looked around the room, seeing more balls of light dropping. Some broke, their energy swirling and curling outward like growing plumes of smoke to dissipate into the room. He clutched the one to his chest, running to grab another and another as his brothers yelled.

Uzaeris’ voice rose above the din. Several of the demons wrapped around his ward, burrowing into the energy of the shield as the fear Raestrao and Aomaris felt for their youngest brother empowered them. The wraiths' shrieks rang in the incubi's ears but Uzaeris blocked it out, focusing on his magic, trusting his brothers to hold the shadows at bay. The dark gate widened but swirls of magenta runes circled it, shooting through it and holding the wave of invaders at bay, wards layering to block the passage. Uzaeris stretched one hand out, voicing the final syllables of his incantation, fingers gesturing to scribe the last symbol in the air and the room filled with his magic. An arcane lock slammed closed over the tear in the fabric between the Shadow and Abyssal Plains, weaving and binding.

Raestrao and Aomaris turned away, the magenta energy of their brother's spell rushing through the air in an expanding shock wave, burning the remaining shadows away. It purged them from the castle as it roared through the halls in an ever-widening ring.

The sudden silence was jarring. Weak, Uzaeris bent over, trying to catch his breath as the room spun dizzyingly, still within the protection of his ward.

"Shit." Aomaris looked back at him in amazement. That trap had been laid to break the barrier between the two realms, to start a point of corruption that would have continued to spread through the entire castle, blighting the land. "You just banished all of them from the castle. Mika's not the only one getting stronger." Ezaeur would have been hard-pressed to wield that kind of power.

"Practice. Lots of practice.” Uzaeris gulped between breaths. _Decades of practice._ He hadn’t just sat in this castle doing nothing, after all. “It was wrong to have them here in the first place, a bad bargain Ezaeur made when she invited Shadow in to fight against father." He heaved one last breath and straightened. "You were right," he admitted to Aomaris, calling up his glamour once more. Wearing the appearance of Erik was a comfort to him, now. "And I've learned a thing or two about banishment." He looked back at Raestrao, seeing James appear once more as his brother donned his own glamour.

"I shouldn't have done that," James started, and Erik raised a hand to stop him.

"You were protecting Mika. Both of you have been trying to protect her and others." The incubus sadly looked around the room. "And you're right, I haven't protected mine. People have suffered for it. I'm not a leader, I never was." He shoved a hand through his hair, pulling his bangs back from his eye. He felt like how Mika had described: a total mess. "It's all my fault."

"No," James insisted.

"It isn't just you," Sam grudgingly admitted. "We're all in this together."

"But this was my fault," Erik gestured around them. He wouldn't consider it otherwise.

"We can fix it, though. We make a good team," Sam pointed out with a small smile. "The three of us, together again. Four," he corrected himself, looking back at Damien.

"Damien?" James looked back, seeing their youngest brother rise, his face full of sorrow. He looked as if he were cradling something precious, but his hands were empty. "What is it?"

"Take the shield off of me." The mind reader met Erik's surprised gaze, tears in his own.

"I can't. You saw what happened before; it will happen again." Erik wasn't comfortable with the thought of his brother at the mercy of his hunger.

"You sure?" Aomaris asked Damien. He didn’t like the idea of their brother’s power being blocked but after having heard what happened, none of them wanted to put him through it again.

"I'll handle it," the mind reader insisted. "I have to."

"What are you holding?" Raestrao asked, all of them knowing they weren't going to like the answer.

"Them," Damien looked at the dead stewards once more. "That is, the ones that I could save." In his sight, three small glowing orbs were carefully nestled in his hands, their energy weak and flickering.

"Them?" Erik was horrified. Even Raestrao paled at the thought.

"Take the shield down," Aomaris commanded.

*

Matthew walked out of the Anderson Company into the cool night air, the security guard locking the door behind him. The last to leave, his steps echoed off the pavement in the empty parking lot as he returned to his car. He hit the fob in his pocket, unlocking it with a double chirp and flash of the tail lights. Sliding behind the wheel of the blue convertible, he dropped his head back against the headrest and took a deep breath before reaching to start it. 

The passenger side door opened and a woman in a short dress and high heels dropped down into the seat next to him.

"Naomi?" Matthew recognized her as she flashed him a smile.

Her hand lifted, conjuring a flame of hellfire between them to light her features, revealing her red skin and unexpectedly bright purple eyes. "Guess again," it was Eris' voice that answered from the human girl’s body.

Matthew felt the cold press of a gun barrel against the back of his head and froze.

"Well, well," a voice full of gleeful malice taunted. "Looks like I found me another bitch after all." Malix pistol-whipped him, the world going black as the devil's shrieking laughter echoed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit:  
> Change - ONE OKAY ROCK  
> https://youtu.be/ha6Fy_LeWtI


	37. Everything comes into focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illuminated, yet still feel blinded.

Back in their human glamours, the brothers gathered in the war room. Damien carefully set the fading spirit orbs on Erik’s scarf in the middle of Lilith's table before stepping back and nodding to his brothers.

"You're sure you want me to drop the shield again?" Erik gave him one last chance to say no.

"I'm sure." There was no way he wouldn't do it. The spirits were the only lead left to help them find Mika.

His brother eyed him warily and waved his hand, dismissing the magic that blocked Damien's mind reading, ready to replace it if the hunger triggered between them again.

Damien closed his eyes, hands forming tight fists as he steeled himself and the shield came down. A small distressed sound escaped his throat.

Hunger roared through him as thoughts flooded his mind once more. The sheer noise of all the voices within the castle was an instant wall of sound that he dove into, using it as a distraction from the tightening of his body, pushing away the gold behind his eyelids.

Shivering, he forced the need back and focused on slowly pulling the voices apart, unraveling and piecing some of the familiar thoughts together into coherent streams while dropping others.

 _I hope I'm doing the right thing._ Erik, the source of the gut-aching need. _It took me years to become accustomed._ Even now, it still caught his brother off-guard but Damien could also feel Erik's determination, his brother ruthlessly blocking the want of the base creature he'd become.

 _If we find Mika, if her own hunger continues to grow, could the three of us stop ourselves?_ Erik worried, surprising Damien with the revelation of Mika’s own changes. _Our lust will be just as strong as Mika's. Will my brother be able to hold back?_

 _Of course he will._ Erik answered his own question. _This is Damien._ And they didn't have the kind of time needed to learn to use the hunger like Ezaeur and her family. _We have to trust each other if we are to save her._ And if there was anyone in all of his life that Erik trusted completely, it was Damien.

 _Are you alright?_   James' concern broke into the forefront, warming the mind reader as he fought for control. It was a voice he hadn't heard in a long time. His brother was changing. The Demon Lord's thoughts were fading for those of his brother, James, once more. _Be careful. Uzaeris is stronger than he knows but then again, so are you._

 _Come on, you got this._ The next voice: Sam cheering Damien on. _Hunger? Hell, we couldn't get you to eat most days. Of course, it was Erik and Matthew's cooking,_ the brute considered with a mental chuckle.

Damien gave a small snort, his eyes finally opening to see the bright green of Sam's dancing in amusement across the table from him. It gave him the final connection to gain control of himself once more. He could feel his brothers' relief as he visibly relaxed.

 _Heh, now we'll never shut up, baby bro. Sure you won't miss the silence?_ the brute teased with his thoughts.

Damien gave a subtle shake of his head, his hand moving to rest at the base of his throat as it always did when he listened to their thoughts. The hunger was a towering wave, waiting to crash and drown him, but... "It's easier this time," he quietly confided. "It doesn't feel as strong." He met his brothers' worried gazes.

"He's right," Erik nodded, noticing it himself. Once again, it was becoming more manageable, even in the last few hours.

"Then Mika's either getting further away or using some of her energy," James concluded. He wouldn't consider the option that it was being drained from her.

The draw of her energy, the hunger, had weakened for him after they fought in the library. Unlike Uzaeris, he typically only felt it while physically in her presence or nearby. In the beginning, her energy was overwhelming before he took her. But since then, all of their feedings had drained it to a more manageable level. His own desire was more of a drive for his hunger than her draw.

“Then we’d better hurry,” Sam spoke for all of them.

Damien approached Lilith's table, stretching his focus to the spheres cushioned on Erik's scarf, running his hand over them. He leaned forward, his focus sharpening, the hunger receding. "Hello? The wraiths are gone. Can you speak?"

His brothers moved closer, concerned and watching silently. Soon, they would be going up against Shadow. The possibility that they might be seeing their own fate was not lost on them.

"Tell us what they say." Sam grimly reminded Damien and he nodded.

 _???_ It was a weak query, nothing more. One of the globes flickered, almost dimming into non-existence.

"It's alright," Damien murmured, placing his hand upon it, giving it a little of his own energy. Just enough to stabilize it before draping the end of the scarf over it. He would not allow it to drain completely before the dawn carried it to Limbo.

 _The shades the shades the shades the shades the shades_ the next orb whimpered pitifully. Trapped in a loop of panic from the time of its death, it probably didn't even know it had passed. He covered it as well, knowing the dawn would be its only relief.

“One left,” the mind reader turned his attention to it, their last chance for information on Shadow and possibly Mika. Its glow was still steady, though it sat silent. "Can you speak?" he asked once again.

 _Of course I can't speak. I'm dead. But you can still invade my thoughts can’t you, bastard son?_ The final globe spoke in Damien's mind: lucid, tired, and gruff.

Damien leaned back in surprise, gritting his teeth and dutifully repeating the orb's answer for his brothers.

"Rude," Sam spoke the obvious, then cast a cocky grin as James raised a brow from the irony, while Erik frowned at the orb's response. But their hope was palpable to Damien.

"Will you tell us what happened?" he carefully asked, holding his own anger in check. It had been a long time since he'd heard the ridicule of his birth. While he'd grown up in the demon world and become used to the slurs, his time in the human world had been a wonderful respite of anonymity. Now the old wounds were scratching open, the feelings of the past threatening to fill him once more.

 _I could. But why should I? You aren't one to go ordering me around, slave._ The spirit gave a derisive snort, despite lacking a body.

Erik gripped the edge of the table across from his brother as Damien recited the orb's answers. “Poros,” he recognized the blunt arrogance of the faun, one of his least favorite advisers. "Please speak. I know Shadow did this to you."

 _Astute as always,_ the faun's spirit taunted. _A little late to start asking questions now, isn't it, my lord?_ The smug reply wasn't lost on the brothers despite Damien's flat recitation.

"At least I'm asking now." Erik tried to hold onto his own temper. He knew it was more bluster than anything from that particular steward. The small rotund demon was like a little dog, all bark and some nasty bites, but not a real threat.

 _The least is what you've always done,_ Poros snarked. _You made it so easy to run this kingdom around you. It's just as well. Lilith stands because of us. We've maintained the last bastion to uphold the ways of our mother. Not all demons are created equal._

"Of course they are," James asserted. He would never think otherwise or stop trying to make it so.

 _And to what level do you hold yourself, Demon Lord?_ The faun's point made James flush. _You know the rabble needs a ruler._ The orb flickered upon the table, it's energy diminishing as it spoke with them.

_We only needed the Lord of Lilith to get us a queen. Something you still couldn't manage, my lord. You are a waste of her bloodline._

Erik's eyes flashed magenta, one fist tightening with anger until Sam stepped up beside him and caught his eye, shaking his head.

"What about Mika?" the brute quickly interjected. "What happened to her?"

_Why is the human girl so important? My lord should have just drained her and put her with the rest of the bed slaves._

Damien faltered as he repeated it, his features going dark.

"Servants, Poros. I don't have slaves." Erik corrected, seeing how upset his brother was becoming. "I've never had such slaves."

_You should. They're cheaper when you kill them._

**_Tiffy._** Erik went deathly pale, Damien staring at him as he heard the name. Memories rushed up into the mind reader's mind from his brother, guilt as strong as the hunger.

"Was Mika with Shadow when he betrayed you?" Sam’s question cut through it all. _Uzaeris didn't kill her,_ he fiercely thought, meeting Damien's eyes, over-riding all the noise in his brother's head.

 _He had the girl,_ Poros admitted and Damien repeated. _And didn't want you to know, mind reader,_ the spirit gleefully revealed.

"What were they doing? Where did they go?" James interrupted this time as Damien's eyes narrowed.

 _Funny you should ask_ , Demon Lord.

"What's so funny about it?" Erik looked at James who looked back, just as confused.

 _Nothing,_ but Damien could feel the spirit's amusement before it grew serious. _I believe in Lilith and her ways, the spirit replied haughtily. The Demon Lord is trying to turn us all into humans, destroying our way of life. You betray your people by standing with him._

James took umbrage but Sam held a hand up to stop him from speaking. "Shadow tried to silence you forever," the brute reminded, "before we got you out of that wraith. You got a problem with the Demon Lord, fine. But the girl's innocent."

_Humans are never innocent, just like demons. Besides, the girl is nothing but a slave, now._

Damien's restraint snapped as he heard the words. _ **A slave.**_ Fear rushed through him along with white-hot fury. He snatched the globe off the table, not repeating the faun's response. "You will tell me where he took her or I will smash you into nothing!" he snarled.

"Damien!" James warned when Sam stopped him.

"Better tell my brother what he wants to know," the Dragon Lord growled. He folded his arms across his chest, giving Erik a warning look before his brother could protest as well. "He will do it."

 _Wait!_ the faun's sudden fear was evident. _Tristan was smart. He took her right away, before any of us knew what was happening!_

"Who is Tristan?" Damien snarled.

"Tristan?" James' brows rose at the name.

"Tristan?" Erik blinked. "My financial officer?"

"Where?" Damien lifted the orb, threatening it. "Tell me where he took her."

_I don't know! He said something about giving her to a slave caravan heading west. Shadow was pleased. He mentioned plans for the Demon Lord's kingdom._

"A slave caravan?" Damien's stomach dropped, the looks on his brothers' faces mirroring his own. The thought of slavers having her pushed Damien over the edge. His hand tightened on the orb, almost crushing it. The spirit gave a mewling cry, as if in pain.

"What else? What are they going to do to her!?" Damien cocked his arm back, ready to smash it.

"Damien, wait!" James reached to intercept him.

"What is Poros saying?" Erik pleaded, all of them wondering as their brother spoke to the spirit.

"Tell me or you will be nothing," Damien insisted.

"Don't," James warned. *Right now, Poros is our only tie to Mika!* his thoughts reminded.

 _I've told you what I know! Shadow keeps his plans to himself. Please, let the dawn take me,_ the faun spirit begged.

"Is Shadow joining them? Did he sell her?" Damien growled, casting his brother a dark look that made James step back.

 _He wouldn't sell her,_ Poros sobbed. _He insisted the girl was his! Tristan was to escort her! Please!_

"What else?!" Damien's glamour faltered, his voice echoing as he became Izroul once more. His eyes glowed a deep purple, his black ram's horns and stripes blending in with the rising darkness as his power dimmed the light in the room. "You will tell me." His voice turned cold, wielding the same sadistic edge from the warehouse fight with Malix. His brothers stared in silence, only now remembering how dark the youngest of them could become.

 _There's nothing else! I've told you everything!_ Poros insisted in his fear.

"I don't believe you," Izroul snarled back.

_It's true! Shadow wants the girl to himself; I don't know why! He wants to overthrow the Demon Lord._

"Izroul, please tell us what he's saying," Erik tried to calm his brother. "Let us talk to him."

"Damien," James tried to appeal to his brother's human side, as well. He stepped closer, carefully. "Put the orb down."

 _That's all I know, I swear!_ the faun was panicking. _Let me go! Put me down this instant, slave!_

The crash of the orb shattering against the fireplace echoed through all of their minds.

For the first time, Izroul's brothers saw and heard the spirit. The globe exploded, Poros' scream cutting off. His spirit erupted as a huge curl of white smoke before fading away into the ether, dissipating.

The faun demon was no more.

"Izroul-" Erik stared at the space, shocked.

"He wanted to hurt her, to hurt us." The mind reader was unrepentant, the darkness around him lingering as he glared at the fading light, his hands fisted at his sides.

"Damien," Sam put a hand on his brother's shoulder, forcing his youngest brother to turn around and focus on him. He could understand Izroul's fury, his own anger threatened. "There's a time to use that anger, but now ain’t it. We gotta find her. Tell us what Poros said."

Izroul took a shuddering breath, nodding, the glamour of Damien slowly returning. Sam gave his arm a squeeze in support before stepping back with an approving nod.

"They're heading to your kingdom." He met James' worried eyes.

"Can the two of you track her?" Sam turned to Erik and Damien. His own hunger wasn't anywhere near what it had been before Mika healed him, the call of her energy silent.

"You followed her to our castle," James reminded Erik, remembering that first night when Uzaeris returned to court and reopened the portal to the human world.

 _Our castle, not his_ , all three of the brothers caught James’ wording, though the Demon Lord did not.

Erik considered but wasn't sure. "It was different. Her magic was calling mine. And not just her magic." He met the eyes of his mind reading brother.

"Ezaeur's," Damien spoke into the middle of them. It was time they spoke freely of Erik’s suspicions.

"Ezaeur's magic?" Sam looked between the two of them.

"The spell Ezaeur placed on Mika, it not only made her forget or fear us. Ezaeur went back and made it into something larger, granting Mika a perfect life," Erik reminded them. Sam flushed, remembering the broken pencil he’d gave his brother. "An ancient spell, it took layers of weaving, not only trapping Mika's magic to feed it but also taking a significant amount of Ezaeur's to bind it."

"But Ezaeur is dead." James frowned.

"Yes. Normally such power would return to the caster. But considering Mika is a mage able to wield demon magic; I think the magic Ezaeur tied to the spell is now trapped in her.”

"But Ezaeur passed her magic down," Sam pointed out.

"To you." James finished, staring at Erik when his eyes went wide, making the connection. "You each carry half of Ezaeur's magic. Each half is trying to unite back with the other."

"An equal draw," Erik nodded. "It's why Mika can manipulate my spells when we spar, why she has the same signature as I do. Our magic is blending together across the two of us."

"You're speaking as if you are bound to each other." James eyed Erik with a frown. Sam wasn't happy, either.

Damien felt the same jealousy well up in his brothers as it did in himself. To a demon, being bound to another was true commitment. Like being in love, they would be soul mates at the deepest level possible.

"But that's demons. You can only bond so far with a human, even one with demon magic." Sam didn't get it. It kind of made sense, but he'd never heard of it happening and Mika was human.

"Humans can become demons," Erik admitted. He reached for a tome on one of the shelves. "The books in this room are copies of Lilith's memoirs." He'd read all of them and perpetuated her memory here. "According to the legends, Lilith was a human herself before the angels turned her into a demon as punishment."

"No way," Sam shook his head. He leaned down on the table, feeling its warmth through his palms.

 ** _It's true._** Oro's voice rumbled through all of their minds. **_I remember. Cursed, cast from the garden and with child, she wandered until she reached the Abyssal Plains. We invited her to stay and she bore the first of the demons here. It was the start of her kingdom and its people, despite the angels' cruelty._**

"We saw angels outside Mika's home after the fight with the devils," James looked to Damien. "They let Matthew and I go, despite the havoc the fight caused, and erased the signs of it." Though they wouldn't help him heal his brother, forcing him to come here.

"Fuck the angels," Sam growled, pissed.

**_You say that, but they are the reason you're here, Aomaris. They were the ones to bring you, and I, back from the dead._ **

"Yeah? They're also the reason I went to you and got a dragon shoved into me in the first place." Sam snapped.

"What do you mean?" James was surprised, he didn’t know the story behind Sam becoming the Dragon Lord. Erik knew. And Damien? Sam looked at his brother.

The mind reader was silent, though his fingers tightly gripped his collar at the base of his throat. No doubt he was still fighting to adjust to everything once more. It would be better if he heard it aloud, rather than from Sam's thoughts.

"That asshole you called a father was destroying the Plains. The night I left-" Sam spoke, remembering it.

Aomaris ran from his father's castle, cursing the stubbornness of Raestrao, the shittiness of the Abyssal Plains, and the fucked-upped-ness he considered life in general. _You should have stayed with Damien in the human world, even if Matthew is there,_ he chided himself with a snort before sliding to a halt at the idea.

He couldn't open a portal himself, but Ezaeur could. _Maybe it would be for the best. Maybe I can talk Zae into ditching this shit hole again and just leave._ He missed Damien and much as he'd never admit it out loud, he missed Matthew, too. Their pranks together were some of his best memories.

 _Fuck. It wouldn't hurt to go see the bitch._ But that meant going back to the castle, something he never wanted to do again. His mother was gone, the bastard releasing all of his wives' spirits to Limbo when Raestrao took his place as the Heir Apparent and the succession was set. Uzaeris was in full pretty-boy mode, thriving in the court that Ao wouldn't go near. And Raestrao...

 _Just forget it._ Aomaris told himself. Damien and Matthew were no doubt happy, having fun and safe, far from the war and their father's reach. _Let them be happy._ He started running again.

Everyone had found their place, all of his brothers. Though he didn't agree with or understand some of them, they had made their choice whether it be human, heir, or sex-addict. All of them but him.

"You've gotta pick something." And in that moment, he realized he had.

There were rebels fighting his father, trying to re-instate the queens to their former glory. It was something Ao felt, deep in his bones, was the right thing to do. Lilith was their first queen and much as Ezaeur was a bitch, you could feel the royal in the succubus as well. Incubi weren't made to lead, neither were brute demons, and he knew it deep in his core. _We serve. We protect._ Uzaeris understood it, too.

This road led east, through the heart of his father's lands and beyond. _Where others fight for what's right. And I will, too._ He made his decision. He would take it to its end, wherever it led him.

Little did he know that in the heart of the forest, the road diverged.

“Aomaris.” The chiming voice rang painfully through Sam's brain.

"Who's there?" He sat up in the woods, the early sunlight glittering in the morning fog, his skin chill with dew.

“You go to fight against the Demon Lord.” It wasn't a question.

 _Awww, fuck. Angels._ He knew of them, heard about them from Raestrao. Not to mention, he and his brothers ran into the assholes more than once while in the human world. But to see them on the Abyssal Plains was rare.

"So?" He snapped, belligerent.

“You cannot defeat your father and brother.”

"Who asked you?"

“You need help.”

"From an angel?" Aomaris gave a rude snort. "You guys don't help. You couldn't give two shits what happens to demons."

“All are in their care. They love the worlds and all who dwell within.” The angel spoke compassionately.

Aomaris leveled his flat gaze. "Yeah. Right. Tell that to Lilith and the billions of others whose lives are completely screwed, everyday."

“It is the word.”

"It ain't my word." Ao rose and stretched, glaring at the luminescent being. "Here's my word: Fuck off. Consider it a two-fer." He turned away only to find another standing in front of him, blocking him from leaving.

‘You need strength, the power to defeat them, and the capability to rule when they are dead.”

"No. I'm fighting for the Queens. You know, the ones meant to lead us."

The angels were silent for a moment, considering before the first continued. ‘You need more. You need to be more, if you wish to stand against the Demon Lord.”

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Noted." He started walking once more.

“There is another, Aomaris. One who would join you in the fight.” The other angel added as they followed after him.

"Yeah? Who?" Ao stepped back, narrowing his eyes as he looked at the two celestial beings.

“An ancient. One who also wishes to fight the Demon Lord, who needs someone to pass his power onto.”

"Some old guy wants to give me his power?" Aomaris looked between the two, skeptical.

“He would find you worthy. With it, you would defeat the Demon Lord and the Heir.” The first angel insisted.

Aomaris took another step back. "Defeat or kill? I won't kill my brother. Raestrao might be an unbearably arrogant ass, but he's not evil."

“You need the ancient's power. Even you know you are no match for the Demon Lord. You must kill him if the line of Lilith is to continue.”

"I'll kill my old man, no prob, but I'm not killing Raestrao. You want me to do this so bad? You leave my brother, all my brothers," Aomaris amended, "Out of it. I want your word that you won't hurt them. Not here, not in the human world, not anywhere. Ever."

The angels were silent. Sam glared, folding his arms, maintaining his silence as well. He waited a full three seconds before spinning on his heel and resuming his walk.

“We will not harm your brothers,” they finally capitulated, appearing in front of him.

"Then we have a deal.” He grinned, looking forward to kicking the old bastard's ass. “So where is this old guy?"

“We will take you to him.”

*

“You think the angels are trying to turn Mika into a demon?!” Erik studied James, seeing the look on his brother’s face as Sam finished speaking of the celestials he had dealt with, the two who introduced him to Oros.

“They promised not to harm us. They implied that they want Lilith’s line to continue,” James reasoned. “If you give her Ezaeur’s magic…”

“You all just want her for your Queen!” Damien broke in, hearing the thoughts racing around the room. “You haven’t asked her what she wants.”

Erik looked at his youngest brother in relief. “Exactly,” he agreed.

“She needs to make her own choice,” Sam stepped in. “And that ain’t happening until we find her,” he reminded them all once more.

“You said they’re taking her to my kingdom,” James smothered the possessiveness that threatened, seeing the knowing look in Damien’s eyes and taking his brother’s warning. “There’s two routes they can take, the Royal Road,” which went directly between the two castles, “And the North Road through-”

“Emwin,” Sam nodded. He cursed under his breath. He’d flown that route to the town, but hadn’t flown back. “Shit. I could have passed her without even knowing.”

“It’s not your fault,” Erik cut in. _Sam wasn’t the one who let her go._

“It isn’t yours, either,” Damien turned his regard to the incubus before Erik could start downward spiraling again.

“It’s good to have you back, lil’ bro,” Sam ruffled his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Credit
> 
> Illuminated - Hurts  
> https://youtu.be/6CvuyaKmLnw


	38. I know my lady is around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide and Seek

_Two days._ It was two days since Mika had gone missing. Damien was nearly frantic, Sam trying his best to keep his brother calm. The mind reader wrapped his cloak tighter around his broad shoulders, the wind rustling the fallen leaves as he walked alone down the side of the road.

There had been no word from Erik and James, not since the night before when James summoned Sam and he had summoned Erik, the two exchanging information at the designated time before returning. All he'd learned was that James was frustrated and tense seeing the state of Lilith while Erik had been quiet and withdrawn.

They’d only gone half the distance. Despite being a full incubus, Erik wasn't used to flying, he couldn't handle it like Sam. And even harder, the incubus wasn't expecting what he saw as they traveled the Royal Road. His thoughts were laden with guilt, the plight of the slaves evident even along the upper-class route. The elegant inn the two brothers stopped at for the night still used slaves behind the scenes, the fields were still full of them harvesting the last of the crops as the brothers moved past.

Damien spared Erik the details when he solemnly asked about the North Road. It was a route more traveled by commoners and lower, merchants and slave caravans transporting their merchandise quickly through the land. The thoughts, the despair, the numbness of those minds...

 ** _Izroul._** Damien stopped as he heard the summons. It meant Sam had found another caravan ahead and needed him to listen for any sign of Mika while the brute searched. Damien let the magic take him, Sam pulling him down the road to the next group. Multiple wagons creaked along under the bright noon sun.

Three caravans were converging as they traveled the road: goods, money, slaves. One was empty, only the drivers and guards traveling with their wagons for the border. They were cheerful for the coming business, enough so that one was humming with pleasant thoughts of Raestrao's kingdom as they passed. The middle was busy, focused on their deadline and chartered with exact instructions and delivery schedule. But the last was packed with demons, a slave transport. Farmhands were being moved to another region, wedged tightly within and less valuable than the livestock traveling with them.

Damien signaled to Sam. His brother was cloaked as well, approaching the caravan guards for news and any other information he could try to pull from either their lips or into their thoughts. Sam blended in with the mercenaries: acting cocky, his speech just as rough and vulgar.

If questioned, Damien would admit to being his slave, otherwise he could be picked up as a runaway. He bore no mark but that didn't matter here. Even if he were free, there was a risk they would take him, purely because he was alone.

Crude laughter, crude thoughts, and the crunching of the leaves beneath the guards’ feet were all Damien heard. Instead, he turned his focus to the wagons’ cargo digging through the despair for any sign, any thought, any feeling, that could lead him to Mika. Vowing over and over to find her, he sought that beautiful voice among the many in his mind. His biggest fear was her silence. That she might already be traumatized, injured, or even worse by Shadow, preventing her thoughts from reaching him.

Damien also searched for signs of wraiths, thoughts of wraiths, anything that might connect them. Sam had warned that the shades stayed away from sunlight, more prone to come out at night. They could be invisible to their prey if you weren't cautious, constantly watching for the rare signs that were swallowed by normal shadows. He subtly peered beneath the wagons, studied the shadows of the guards. His eyes watered from the dust kicked up by their passage.

 _Nothing. Nothing at all._ His own despair threatened. Every minute they didn’t find her was another minute something terrible could be happening to her. Damien knew how bad it could be. He'd seen it first-hand with his mother and the other slaves at his father’s castle.

 _Nothing,_ Sam confirmed, walking up beside him and pulling his own cloak tighter against the chill wind as the guards moved past, eying them. _We'll find her,_ the brute insisted. It was his mantra, helping him keep his resolve. Sam refused to think otherwise. _She's smart and strong, she'll be okay._

As soon as they were out of sight, the Dragon Lord took to the sky again, heading to the next set of wagons, leaving Damien to bring his feelings under control before he had to do it all over again.

 

*

 _Nothing and still nothing._ James growled, frustrated as he walked the Royal Road with Erik. He hadn't wanted to stop at the inn for the night, didn't want to waste the hours when Mika could be hurt or growing ever-further away, but his brother was exhausted.

The magic Erik used to close the tear between the Abyssal and Shadow realms had taken a lot out of him. It didn't help that he wasn't used to flying and could only do it over short distances compared to Sam. At least the traffic on the road was sparse.

Only the occasional entourage of nobles with their slaves in tow had been seen between the towns. The villages, themselves, were designed to be stops along the way but considering the tension between the two kingdoms, there weren't nearly as many travelers as there once was.  
  
Still, the two brothers remained hooded and cloaked, James using his aura of intimidation to keep others from looking at them too closely. There was no way the nobles wouldn't recognize either one, the other, or both of them, and now was not the time to deal with the repercussions of being seen together when they were supposed to be politically opposed.

Erik had wanted to travel openly, something James admired. He wanted his people to know he was with them, wanted to be a part of them, now. The incubus was a figurehead, held up for his magic and as a living blood connection to the Lilith line. Still, it was a far cry from the capability to lead his nobles to accept the Demon Lord in their midst. How the commoners and slaves would react was a complete unknown.

If anything, once revealed, their restored relationship would make things dangerous for Uzaeris as well. Many of his citizens were outcasts of Raestrao's kingdom, criminal in their treatment of slaves. They wouldn't hesitate to fight for their way of life, just as Poros and the other stewards had.

The crack of a whip echoed in the distance as they passed an orchard, The accompanied yelling had James grtting his teeth. The urge to start another revolution continued to gnaw at the eldest brother, his sense of justice spurring him to act. But this was his brother's kingdom and he had given his word. The plans and setup before freeing his own kingdom had taken years, if he tried the same approach here, it would surely fail. There would no longer be an element of surprise.

"Do you feel her?" James looked back over his shoulder to see Erik following with his head down.

"Yes, but it's subdued," much like the incubus, himself, was.

"Do you think she passed this way before us? Perhaps an echo of the past? " the tall demon hoped.

"Maybe." Erik's bangs hid his face but he couldn't hide the misery in his voice. The hunger had firmly dug its claws into him again, his heart broken at the misery he saw among his commoners and every crack of the whip stung as if it were his own body. He was using so much magic, so much energy. But he would run himself into the ground if need be, to save Mika.

"Zae, do not do this to yourself." James caught him by the wrist and tugged him to a halt. Erik felt the warmth at his brother's touch, the rush of power. James was giving him energy.

"Raestrao, no." The redhead blushed and tried to pull away but his older brother ignored it, feeding him with his own affection, transferring the energy whether Erik wanted it or not.

"You should have replenished at the inn," James admonished him. There were bedfellows available, not only slaves but commoners who sold themselves to feed demons with incubus blood. Erik was reaching his limit and it was a viable option, a trade and necessity for some. Afterall, he had been a Homme de Joie for their father's court before Ezaeur took him as consort.

"You know I could never." Erik peered up at him. "Not only the slaves but the others as well."

"I couldn't either," James admitted, though he wondered. Bryce's words, their time together, still haunted him; a mix of anger, guilt, and want. "Mika shared some of her energy with me before I told her the truth. I want you to have it." His hand slid down to clasp his brother's, the flow of energy between them increasing.

It almost made Erik sob, it was such a relief. He wasn't aware of how much he had been skimming from the nobles in the castle until now, leagues away and denied it.

"You need to keep your energy up," James lectured, concerned. "Your magic is the most effective weapon we have against Shadow's minions. My powers do not matter for the coming fight, compared to yours."

"That isn't true." Erik squeezed his brother’s hand and carefully released it, already feeling better.

"You know it is. Despite everything, you are the one with the deepest connection to Mika, the one that must be there for her if what we believe is true," James insisted.

"Shadow has the book. He knows what she carries," Erik shook his head. "Raestrao, I can't do it alone. If Shadow takes her power-"

"He will not." James sounded like Sam.

"You and I both know he wants it. He will take her magic if he hasn't already." Erik's voice broke with discouragement.

"He hasn't yet!" The older demon shouted, the words involuntarily echoing with his intimidation, making his brother flinch away. "I'm sorry," James lowered his voice, shaking his head. "He hasn’t; you would know."

Erik hoped that was true. "There was bloodbourne magic in that book, hellbourne magic, demon magic, even some celestial. I don't know how Mika could have written it. She had no knowledge of any of them, but there it was."

"Her energy was beyond any level we have ever known," James knew the how was not as important as the why or how to deal with it. "How much did you know of Ezaeur's magic? Her power? Her knowledge? Oros said the spell she wove on Mika was ancient magic."

"Ezaeur studied it all," Erik admitted.

"And you?" His brother watched him closely.

"I've studied what she studied. Every book I could find."

"Then you do know." James began walking again.

"Raestrao," Erik stayed where he was, forcing his brother to stop and turn back to him. "Mika and I are connected."

"We have already established that." James didn't like the fear creeping into his brother's countenance.

"If he takes her magic, he could take mine as well. No matter who holds it, the power will pull across the two, fighting to become one."

"You're strong," James reminded him. "Trained. If it comes to that, you take the magic from him. All of it, as Ezaeur intended, and you destroy him with it. You closed the tear in the castle to block the wraiths. Can you lock the passage between the Abyssal Plains and the Shadow Realm permanently with his death?"

"I... I don't know." Erik wished he felt half as sure as his brother sounded. "I don't know the agreement Ezaeur made with Shadow."

James walked back, wrapping an arm around his brother's shoulder and guiding him towards the grass alongside the road. "We both need a break." He drew the incubus to sit down beside him, letting his brother lean up against him, maintaining the connection between them. "Take my energy, then we will continue the search."

They sat in silence, both lost in their own thoughts.

 

*

"I've read them all," Damien shook his head, biting back his frustration as Sam led him through the city gates into Emwin. "And not a single sign of her."

"She might be unconscious or asleep. You wouldn't hear her then. We'll call Uzaeris tonight and see if he can sense her dreams. They can't have gotten past the border, yet. There hasn't been enough time." Sam insisted.

There was a lot of traffic on the road, too much to let anyone with a wagon move quickly. The guards of Lilith had a record of a caravan with slaves and merchandise leaving the castle shortly after Mika went missing. Tristan could not have transported her any other way. She was a mage, trained and formidable; Sam had taught her, himself. She wouldn't have gone willingly and a bound or unconscious human girl, carried or thrown over the back of a horse, would have people talking.

Sam checked the sky. It was growing late. The sun would set in a couple of hours. "Wait here," he gestured for Damien to stay in the shadow of the gate. "I'm going to check on something." _Maybe Karas can help us keep an eye out for her._

Damien nodded, leaning against the brick wall, following Sam's thoughts as his brother entered the guard house and sought out the sergeant.

"Back so soon? I thought your brother wanted you," the old guard greeted him from behind a battered desk.

"Yeah, about that. We're going to need your help," Sam mentioned, mentally calling Damien to join them. _You need to show him what she looks like._

"Oh?" Curious, Karas gestured for him to take a seat but Sam ignored it, leaning against the desk, instead.

"We, my brothers and I, are looking for someone."

"Your brothers?" Karas’ brows went up as Damien stepped into the room.

 _The mind reader?!_ The guard’s surprise doubled as he recognized the demon’s exotic coppery hair, the indigo eyes. He'd heard tell of Izroul, but thought that the youngest brother disappeared well before the war. _And you also thought the Dragon Lord was dead._

"Yeah." Sam gave a sharp smile. "You said you wished you could find a way to thank the Demon Lord. Well, there is a way. We're looking for a girl."

Damien's eyes flashed, pulling Karas into the memory of Mika walking with him in the park.

"She's important to us. Word has it slavers got a hold of her." Sam spoke in the old guard's ear.

"Slavers?" Karas frowned, dropping out of the vision. "If the slavers got her, she's gone, Ao."

"No!" Damien took a step towards Karas, his eyes wide with fear.

"She isn't gone." Sam stepped between them. "We were told they're taking her from Lilith to the Demon Lord's kingdom. That means they'll try to cross the border with her and chances are they'll take this road to do so."

"They expect to enter Emwin? To pass our border?" The old guard scowled. "Never. Not on my watch. I'll let the others know. If they set one foot on the Demon Lord's soil, we'll have them." _And we will destroy them._ Damien heard the guard's thought and gave him a solemn nod.

"Karas, we expect wraiths to be guarding her," Sam warned.

"Shit," the old guard clicked his tongue. There were some magical weapons, some powers they could employ, but only a few. Emwin wasn't prepared to battle the demons of the dark.

"My brothers and I will fight them," Damien reminded him. "We just need your summons."

"Then you'll have it," Kara's firmly agreed as he rose to tell the guards on watch. He paused halfway to the door and turned back. "Ao, is your other brother fighting alongside you?" Damien heard Karas' bitter opinion of Uzaeris in his mind.

"Yeah," Sam leveled his gaze. "He's learning, Karas. These are his people he's hunting down. Change will come to Lilith, too."

"Will it now?" Pessimistic, Karas considered him. "Will it indeed? Then where will the slavers run? Back to Emwin to turn the city into a nightmare? How many more will we lose?" the old guard growled.

"How many will you get back?" Damien asked in return, startling Sam. "They're over there, waiting for their freedom." He'd heard some of them, heard the hopes and thoughts. "They're waiting for someone to help them come home."

 _Dae._ The name was unfamiliar to Damien, but Sam quickly hid it away as he turned to face the guard full-on.

"You told me how Raestrao did it." Sam reminded Karas. "This time it won't happen overnight, too many could be hurt. But it will happen. And you know why? Because of that girl.

"You may have shown me Emwin, but she was the one to give us the dream. She's a healer. She showed us what life could be like, what families could be like. She saved the lives of me and my brothers, gave us food and shelter and hope when we were hunted by devils in the human world."

Karas' brows shot up. "That girl?" She hadn't seemed impressive, talking about cows in the vision Damien had shown.

"Yeah, crazy, I know," Sam gave an affectionate chuckle. "Doofus doesn't even know she's doing it." His expression went distant, his thoughts warm.

The guard noticed Sam's feelings. _Just like Tula and I._

"We need to save her," Damien broke in. "Please, help us."

Karas looked between the two of them. "We can't cross the border into Lilith, but if we see her? I will summon you." It was the best they could hope for and the brothers were thankful.

"Come on," Sam guided Damien back out onto the streets, leading him to the inn. They wouldn't contact Erik and James until after sundown. They needed to eat and rest and he really needed a beer. He hated playing the waiting game.

  
*

 _They're waiting._ Damien's words echoed in Sam's mind as he dropped down to sit at a table, pushing one of the two mugs of beer he carried to his baby bro as Damien placed a bowl of stew down for each of them. So many of the patrons here had lost family, even the hope of returning them would help so many. But could he get them back?

"You could if they're freed," Damien spoke low as they sat, knowing it wasn't a conversation to have openly here. "Not all, but many."

They would be changed, scarred, battered. But to bring the stolen of Emwin home was something Aomaris desperately wanted. Sam glanced at the innkeeper, the demon crushed by the loss of his two daughters. He looked at the quiet, grim patrons sitting around them.

 _Would you help me, bro? Once all this is done and Mika's safe, would you help me find her?_ he thought, knowing he was getting ahead of himself, knowing that the chances of finding one girl who disappeared years ago were nearly impossible.

"I'll help you," Damien's gaze dropped to stare solemnly into his food.

"Hey," Sam reached across the table, gripping his brother's forearm. "We'll find Mika. Don't doubt it."

"I know," Damien tried to muster a small smile.

"And don't worry about the others," Sam insisted. He could understand his brothers' attraction, understand how they all fell for Mika. _That girl._

"I'm not," Damien spoke the lie easily.

Sam didn't believe it for a second. _She isn't meant for me. She's meant for you._ He purposely recalled how Mika had worried over Damien, how she had spoken fondly of him as they talked over lunch. At the time, the energy of her affection was evident to the brute despite the pain in his back.

"And yet you took her." Damien's indigo eyes flicked back up to meet his brother's, still mild though the accusation hung between them.

"Yeah, I did," Sam admitted it outright. They weren't children. He wouldn't try to lie or play it down. And he wasn't the only brother to do it. "She wanted to help me."

"And you wanted to."

"Yeah." Sam looked away and picked up his own mug. "I'm not as strong as Uzaeris." _Ironic as that is._ He downed half his beer in long swallows before setting the mug back down with a thump. "But just cuz we did doesn't mean I'm the one. Believe me, I know when I've been friend zoned."

Damien almost spoke again but thought better of it as Sam's feelings hit him.

"Thing is," Sam gave a small laugh, taking his spoon and prodding at his stew. "Mika's a damn good friend. The others know it, too." Or at least they would if he had anything to do with it. He lifted his eyes. "When we get her back, you better take good care of her."

"I will," Damien vowed, digging into his own food.

"Good."

 ** _Aomaris._** Karas' summons. Damien's head shot up as he heard Sam recognize it.

 ** _Izroul!_** Mika's breathless shout filled his own mind. "Mika!" He stood, seeing his brother's nod, and let the magic take him as his brother disappeared, leaving a couple of gold coins spinning in the middle of the table.

 

*

"Something's happening across the border in Lilith" The guard reported to Karas as he found the sergeant reviewing their inventory. "You better come and see for yourself."

The old soldier took one look at the young demon's worried expression and ran with him up the stairs to break out onto the top of the wall. Karas shaded his eyes, the sun low and casting long shadows towards them from the derelict buildings across the burn. The darkness of the overlapping warehouses was moving in a way that made his stomach twist.

"There were screams. Their border guards ran in and haven't come out." Another soldier spoke, clutching his crossbow as he watched the guardhouse across from them. "Quiet now," he added but no one was standing watch any longer. The gate to Lilith stood wide open.

"Screams," Karas repeated.

"Should we go down? Have a look?" The one who brought him asked, his knuckles white on the hilt of his sword.

"No. No, get down to the armory. The enchants, go get them and pass them out to the best. The rest of you get back." There were only a handful of magic blades and bows, the only things that could really hurt shades.

A flare of red suddenly expanded from the center of the slave district, the guards on the wall exclaiming. A shrill howl rose, the twining of many voices as the shadows of the buildings twisted.

"Runners!" The shout came from the lookout at the top of Emwin’s gate. Karas hurried closer to see two figures running out onto the road to Emwin.

"Get those weapons now!" the sergeant ordered and the young soldier bolted down the stairs. Karas saw the wraiths breaking away from the darkness, swirling up into the sky in a huge flock. They rushed after the two heading towards the gate and a chill ran down his spine.

"No fear!" he shouted, "It feeds them!"

The other soldiers took up the command, calling it out, rallying, but it was easier said than done. Those creatures were the essence of nightmares.

"How do we even stop them?" the guard beside him asked quietly, the crossbow sagging in his arms.

"We don't," Karas shook his head, recognizing the girl.

"But-"

"Ever hear of the Dragon Lord?" Karas gave a sharp smile as the soldier looked at him as if he were crazy. "Aomaris," he breathed, summoning the demon.

 

*

Tristan sighed, ending his humming to drink some water from one of the wagon's canteens. The ride was slow and long, the wagon stuffy with stale air, neither warm nor comfortable.

 _Two days._ He'd kept himself awake, distracting and deflecting the wraiths' attention from Mika. He didn't need to sleep and wouldn't with so many enemies around them. A low moan reached his ears and he tried to hum again, only to feel the sharp gravelly pain in his throat. He was done. The human girl would wake soon.

 _We should be entering the Demon Lord's kingdom._ He wasn't sure where he was supposed to go once there. He'd expected Shadow to have joined them by now, but the demon was surprisingly absent.

There had been no word concerning Castle Lilith or its lord. Tristan didn't expect to hear any, since they were traveling away from it. Such news would be behind them, carried by the following caravans, travelers, and messengers. Briefly, he wondered what would become of the kingdom but tried not to think of the other stewards. He was fairly certain he knew what happened to them.

 _You have to get her across the border._ Tristan looked across the wagon at the woman who unknowingly saved his life.

Right now, Mika was his main concern. Still bound, lying beneath his coat, he had tried to make her as comfortable as possible. He couldn't free her, couldn't risk her being hurt by their guards. He could feel her energy, even as she slept. The joy of her dreams made it sweet on the air, pulling at him, and he wondered what she dreamed of. _Or who._

Tasting it, consuming what he could at a distance, he no longer wondered why the Lord of Lilith and Shadow were so possessive of her. There was a feeling to Mika's energy, a power that drew him stronger than Ezaeur had, stronger than Uzaeris did. He had been around the most powerful demons in all of the Abyssal Plains; felt their influence, persuasion, and intimidation, and this human girl affected him like no other.

 _Once across the border..._ Once they made it into the Demon Lord's kingdom, he could take her. Until then, Tristan had to be careful with Shadow, careful with the wraiths. Mika attracted them, too; like moths to a flame when she was awake. Her fear was strong, though she acted bravely the few times he let her wake to attend to physical needs. Last night, every time he'd peered outside, the number of shades kept growing, circling the caravan. _Too many to fight._

 _Get over the border and take her before he feeds you to them, too._ Then the tide would shift in his favor. Slaves were illegal in the Demon Lord’s lands; there were guards in every town. He was not so naive as to think Shadow would spare him. The only reason he was still here was that the assassin needed at least one other to handle the girl. The shades couldn't touch her without damaging her.

The lamplight flickered, dimming for a second before resuming. Tristan looked up at the lantern, frowning as he saw the flame steadily glowing while the wagon dimmed again. His stomach dropped, the light just bright enough to show the faintest outlines of the wagon's interior.

The back wall of the wagon split open into a pitch-black maw and he quickly stood. Several dark hands gripped the edges of the hole and pushed it wider. Confirming Tristan's fears, Shadow stepped through, two more wraiths slipping in behind him before the gate into the shadow realm slammed shut.

"Tristan, you've done well." The soulless black eyes took in every detail of the wagon's interior: the girl, the financier, the shades he could feel just beyond the walls.

"Thank you, my lord." Tristan bowed then gracefully dropped to one knee before the other adviser. "I live to serve you." He kept his head down, his hands and body relaxed in submission.

"Indeed," Shadow studied him, his smile growing with satisfaction. "We approach Emwin, prepare the girl."

"My lord?" Tristan wasn't sure what the other demon meant, then realized. "Of course! I will render her asleep again. If we unbind her, she will pass the borders appearing as a free citizen and the guards will let us through."

It would also give him the chance he needed. Once they made it past the city and through the wall into the Demon Lord's lands, he could grab Mika and run. There would be enough guards to protect them all.

"We're not crossing the border. I have everything I need right here," Shadow smiled at Mika, Tristan filling with dread. The slender assasin threw the wagon's door wide open, commanding the caravan to stop.

Only an hour before sunset, Tristan saw the dark ruins of the empty slave market and its warehouses beyond, the wraiths slowly emerging from the shadows. They were on the edge of Lilith, just before Emwin. He heard the shouts of the caravan's drivers in the distance, the call of its guards as they all halted.

Then the screams started.

"My lord?!" Tristan's breath hitched, hearing the terror outside.

"Take her and follow," Shadow gestured, nonchalant. He stepped down from the wagon, striding across the road and into one of the huge warehouses.

Tristan hurried, reaching for Mika to find she was already awake. She gave a muffled protest, trying to move away.

"I'm sorry," he took her head in both of his hands, looking into her eyes. Mika quickly closed hers but the flash of gold didn't follow. He didn't enthrall her. "Don't fight," he whispered, instead. "Not yet. There's too many of them. When I give the word, run."

Mika's eyes shot open, her query half-smothered by the bit.

"Don't call them, just run for the border as fast as you can." Tristan rushed to get the words out. "We need to reach the guards before they come. I can't risk my lord’s safety." He let go, brushing Mika's cheek gently with one hand before scooping her up and throwing her over his shoulder.

Firelight flared in the buildings as the shades flew and darted through them. The blonde demon hurried after Shadow with Mika. Orange and red sunlight lit the walls from the windows. It was an empty, wide stone expanse that Tristan recognized from his past. A large stone slab was set in the middle with a rusty iron ring.

_The auction block._

Behind them, Tristan could hear the sounds of struggling. He turned back to see a handful of guards dragging the caravan's drivers into the building as well.

"On the block, Tristan,” Shadow briskly instructed. “Unbind her and chain her to the ring. Leave the bit." He turned to the others. "Around the edge," he gestured to the guards.

Tristan almost hesitated, but to do so would be his death. "Remember, my lady," he whispered as he carried Mika to the center of the warehouse, circling the block to climb the stairs and set Mika down.

Shadow pulled the journal from his sash and walked towards the center as well. The book was much more worn than last he’d had it, the pages bent with a smear of blood staining the leather.

"I've acquired a new skill, human," he called to Mika as Tristan unbuckled her ankles.

The financier’s hands subtly rubbed her calves, starting the painful process of blood flow before he moved to her wrists. Mika gasped and stretched her legs, her feet numb. She quickly flexed her toes, desperate to get her circulation and muscle control back.

"I was not aware of how easy it is to acquire magic. I have you to thank," Shadow tapped the journal’s cover with his fingertips and Mika startled, recognizing it. "Your writing is atrocious, but the subject matter..." He gave a dry chuckle, amused at her surprise.

"You hold my queen and her power, girl. I don't need magic to make her magic mine, not when I can use the energy of others." Shadow gestured to the guards once more.

Standing in a circle around them, the guards slit the throats of the drivers, dropping five bodies onto the stone floor. Blood poured across it, the coppery scent filling the air. Mika's breath came faster, adrenaline rushing as Tristan hurried to unbuckle her wrists behind her back.

"Almost, my lady,” the blonde whispered. “Follow the road to the border," his voice was masked with the sounds of the dying around them.

"It only took a small agreement," Shadow continued, his eyes flaring red with hellbourne magic over his amused grin. "A discussion with a certain devil of avarice and everything fell into place."

The blood from the fallen demons flared as well, bright red and shooting across the expanse to form the intricate lines of a pentagram. Shadow laughed, calling out in guttural tones. It was a language Mika didn't know, whose sounds sent chills up her back and down her arms.

At the words, Tristan finally got the buckle at her wrists free. "Run!" he shouted, grabbing Mika by the shoulders and pulling her to her feet. He turned to the stairs, breaking into song as his eyes flared gold, his power filling the expanse. The guards all froze, Tristan's enthrallment taking them as Mika dove down the stairs.

"Run!" Tristan shouted again behind her. His song twined in echoing demonic harmonies around the word, keeping the guards still.

Mika hit the first bloodline and slammed into an invisible barrier. Shadow's laughter echoed in the warehouse and Tristan's song fell silent. The blonde incubus snatched Mika's wrist, pulling her straight towards one of the awakening guards, diving over the bloody corpse of the driver at their feet just before the hellbourne circle completed, snapping closed behind them.

"You hold my queen, human!" Shadow called after them. He raised a hand and summoned another circle around the perimeter of the building, this time made from the whorling darkness of shadow magic. "I can take Ezaeur’s power pleasantly or rip it from you, your choice."

Swirling smoke coalesced into hands that reached for the staggering guards, wisps of gloom circling up their legs. They screamed as it drained their life force, their bodies desiccating, shriveling into dried corpses right in front of Mika's wide eyes. Their energy rushed to power the ring and block the pair’s escape.

Mika felt a tug at the back of her head, a sharp pain behind her ear. The bit dropped from her mouth suddenly and she turned to Tristan, seeing a bloody summoned knife in his hand.

"Use your magic!" He urged, clearly as scared as her as he pushed her towards the smoky edge of the circle. Behind him, Mika could see Shadow walking towards them, eyes bright red, dark hands extending from his hair and back, becoming the spider once more as more guttural syllables echoed from his mouth.

Mika didn't have time to think. She couldn't, even if she wanted to. Terror gripped her but her hand shot out of its own accord. The portion of the ring in front of them wavered as she heard herself speak. "Totum meum," her voice sounded young in her ears.

The dark power was ice cold as she gripped it, still running with Tristan. It flowed through her veins and she twisted it, the circle flaring purple as she and Tristan ran over it.

Shadow leapt as the ward changed, clearing it just as the magic became Mika’s. "Stop them!" he commanded, clinging to the wall and running along it towards the door.

Mika and Tristan broke out onto the road, dodging behind the caravan's wagons. The shrieks of wraiths filled the air as Shadow's minions followed in pursuit. Mika glanced back, seeing another burst of red light from the warehouse, shades flooding from its doors.

"Keep going!" Tristan shouted, "Straight to the far gate!" He dropped back behind her, still bearing his knife, following in an attempt to guard her back.

Mika ran. She could see the open gate of Lilith ahead, see Emwin’s gate with its soldiers staring at her. She rushed past the doorway of the guardhouse, the wraiths feeding on the desiccated corpses of the guards of Lilith. Her steps crunched as she made it onto the wide burn of dry blackened earth, pulling away from the buildings and out into the open.

Mika heard the guards ahead call the alarms, saw the wraiths sweeping towards them from both sides out of the corners of her eyes. A loud howl rose up behind her, many more were coming.

Almost there, she thought, stretching her legs further, her lungs on fire as she pushed herself to the edge of her endurance. She was running faster than she ever had in her entire life. Years of training were the only thing keeping her ahead of the swarm of shades.

But the gates were closed, the guards staring past her in fear.

“Help us!” Mika yelled, her body hitting the gate. Tristan slammed into her from behind, his arms reaching around her, gripping the bars to either side, shielding her.

“Izroul!” she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Mika felt the bars bend, heard Tristan’s scream as whatever was behind them grabbed him, trying to pry him off the gate.

“Raestrao!” Tristan called, summoning his true lord to the fight as his fingers gave way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the bad cliff hanger!
> 
> Chapter Title Credit:
> 
> Lady Luck - Jamie Woon  
> https://youtu.be/BvsfGhEqnXE


	39. Will you hold the line?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And another Lord steps forward...

“Where the fuck is she?” The blow was fast and hard, splitting Matthew's lip and making his front teeth ache painfully. Gingerly, he ran his tongue around his mouth, spitting blood and thankfully not a tooth on the floor. One of his eyes was swelled almost shut. He was held, kneeling on the floor of the grafitti-soaked warehouse, his arms pinned behind him by a couple of devils as their leader interrogated him.

"Tell me where she is!" Malix yanked his hair, wrenching Matthew's head back painfully to threaten him with another blow.

"How should I know? You're the one who took her!" Matthew panted the words, pulling out of his grip with what little movement he had. He struggled, forcing the devils to wrestle him back down, his knees slamming on the concrete.

Malix backed off with a growl, pacing in a small circle around them, frowning. "Of course I don't have her. I wouldn't be asking if I fucking had her!" He snarled, spinning around to kick Matthew in the ribs.

The sudden snap had the incubus crying out, the break stabbing like sharp ice before hurting even worse as his lungs expanded in reflex. The devil's grin widened, delighting in the pain.

"Where's the rest of you?"

"Not here," Matthew gasped as he stated the obvious. Every breath brought more agony. He could heal it but Malix would only do it again.

"Then you better start calling them." The devil crouched down and shoved the barrel of his gun up under Matthew's chin, his face inches away. "And pray they answer." His sulfurous breath reeked.

"I can't," Matthew growled it through gritted teeth, glaring back. Not that he would if he could. There was no way he'd let Malix know any of his brothers' real names.

The devil studied him for a moment then struck him again, knocking the breath out of him. Matthew sagged in the grip of the two devils, his vision wavering as the room took a dizzying tilt.

Malix's shrieking laughter echoed through the warehouse, picked up by several of the other devils as the two holding him dropped him, sprawled on the ground. "Don't tell me they left a weak little runt like you behind. Couldn't keep up, Matty boy?" Malix grinned down at him.

"Everybody else off ruling their kingdoms while you're here in a monkey suit? Oh, I knew you were pathetic, almost as bad as the bastard, but this? This is rich! What, did they actually think you could take me?"

The devil's foot came down on Matthew's wrist, his gun swiveling to point down at the demon's hand. "I'll send you back to them, piece by fucking piece." He laughed again as he pulled the trigger.

The sharp rapport echoed as the bullet hit the concrete, slivers of it shattering and flying, slicing Malix's cheek as Matthew suddenly rolled out from under him.

They'd left him in his suit, a big mistake, as his hands went for his pockets, his leg sweeping Malix's to knock the devil to the ground. Others rushed in as Matthew pulled the blades he summoned from his jacket pockets, steel flying as he spun once more. One punk that had held him fell, a knife buried in the side of his head, another he slashed deeply across the chest.

During his time in the human world, Matthew hadn't remained idle on his training. If anything, he and Damien decided to keep Sam's harsh schedule while living together and he still trained multiple times a week. Fighting Damien's clones fit this situation perfectly. His brother often had him up against groups and it had Matthew falling back into the rhythm and patterns as he fought the devils trying to close in around him.

His shoes weren't the best, sliding on the concrete. His jacket flared out as he turned, giving one of the devils a chance to snatch it and tug him off balance. But he'd learned and rather than try to fight it and lose his pacing, he dropped, flipping out of it and catching the fabric to twist it and bind up the devil's hands long enough to slash the cretin's throat. A tug of his own and he spun with the coat, catching another devil's gun with it, to pull it off-target. The bullet missed him, striking another behind him.

Matthew dropped and rolled, dodging out of the group to launch to his feet and run for it. There was no way he'd defeat them all and he wasn't stupid enough to try.

"What the fuck? Stop him!" Malix fired his gun into the fray, not caring that he hit his own gang members.

Matthew dodged through a wide doorway, spinning to send the large steel door squealing closed along its track before running into the wide dock full of vehicles and abandoned equipment. He jumped up, sliding over the roof of one of the cars to drop flat on the ground behind it as the devils wrenched the door back open.

As silent as he could, he slid back under a van behind him, keeping his chin to the ground and peering at their shoes as they ran in, spreading out.

"He's in here somewhere," Malix announced. "Come out, you little shit or you'll be in a major world of pain."

 _Like I'm not already._ Matthew clutched his side, his broken rib shooting sparks of pain with every breath. He focused the way Erik had taught him, directing some of his energy to knit the bone as he held his breath. _Hope it's straight._

"Spread out! Check everywhere." Malix commanded, moving forward himself.

The devils ran through the room, opening and closing car doors, jumping up on the equipment to look about. From what Matthew could tell, this had once been a factory with an assembly line, the steel rails still standing with the machinery to move heavy gear.

 _Get moving,_ he told himself, letting go of his side and his magic to take a shallow breath, testing the rib. Sore, but nowhere near what it had been. He checked his watch. _Almost midnight._ His brothers could be back at any time.

 _Shit. Summon me, guys!_ he fiercely thought as he heard sneakers on the ground behind the van, its back door opening with a creak. _God help me, James, I'll never call you an arrogant ass again. Just summon me._

The van rocked as the devil jumped inside, pressing the bottom of the vehicle into Matthew's back. He couldn't move without making noise, but he pulled his glamour around him, shimmering into invisibility.

 _Here's hoping they can't see through it._ It wouldn't have fooled another demon and he doubted it would fool the devils, but he'd take any chance he could. They were in human bodies, after all.

"Come out, come out wherever you are, you little prick!" Malix called.

Matthew watched his bloody boots, seeing the devil's legs bend as he knelt down on the floor, peering under the vehicles. Malix's eyes connected with his and the devil flashed a cruel grin. "Gotcha."

He lowered his gun, taking aim and Matthew bolted, diving out from under the van and sliding over the hood of a sedan as shots rang out. The devils called to each other and he snatched a metal bar off a conveyor belt before dropping behind it. Turning, he saw a big yellow switch and flipped it, the equipment roaring to life. Dodging through it away from the devils, he ran along the back wall, nothing but cinder block, the windows too high for him to easily reach.

There was a door in the corner and he launched himself at it, kicking at the knob with his demon strength to bust it in. The metal-grilled stairs led up to the steel scaffolding above, Malix's bullets ricocheting off a beam as Matthew dashed past. The windows were closed, the glass lined with diamond-patterned wire to make breaking in difficult.

"Raestrao, Uzaeris, Izroul," Matthew chanted under his breath, narrowly dodging more bullets as the other gang members brought their guns to bear. "Answer me, guys!" He hissed, begging. "Raestrao, Uzaeris, Izaroul. Raestrao, Uzaeris, Izroul. Raestrao, Uzaeris, Izroul!"

The scaffolding abruptly ended, leaving him skidding to a halt, open air beyond the railing ahead of him and a drop onto a pile of rusty steel parts.

"Fuck!" He swore, looking around. There was another window straight across from him, without the wire and painted with some sort of logo. It was fifteen, maybe twenty feet away.

Just go! He backed up and threw the metal bar he was carrying like a javelin, sending it through the glass, shattering it as the devils caught up beneath him. Taking a deep breath, he ran for it, launching himself off the railing, reaching for the window.

Matthew just caught it, his body slamming against the cinder block and pulling him down on the broken shards sticking up from the frame. He bit back a cry as the glass sliced into his hands, his shoes sliding against the brick as they sought purchase on the wall, trying to pull himself up.

"Raestrao, Uzaeris, Izroul-!" He hissed under his breath.

A hand clutched his ankle and yanked, pulling him back down into the devils’ midst.

*

"Mika!" Damien appeared, finding himself in a tunnel in the middle of a mob of guards. They weren't paying any attention to him, their backs to him as they looked through a locked gate at something else.

"Over here!" her voice echoed as he recognized the corridor through Emwin's wall.

Mika’s hand shot up through the bars, waving above the heads of the crowd and Damien pushed through to meet her, only to freeze with horrified eyes as he saw the massive wall of wraiths churning behind her. The creatures were pulling a demon in the livery of Erik's castle away as Raestrao appeared, his brother trying to stop them.

"Uzaeris!" Mika called their other brother, turning to look back.

"Don't turn around!" Damien urged, gripping her hands through the bars quickly to distract her. “Don’t look.” Mika seemed okay, scared, but intact. He didn't want her to see the steward being consumed.

"We’ll protect you." He met her eyes, his flaring purple to summon five of his clones from the ash of the burn to intercept the shades. They would barely slow the wraiths but might buy Uzaeris enough time to get his wards up.

"Let her in!" Damien commanded the guards around them as the world flashed with magenta light.

*

"Karas," Sam appeared beside the sergeant on top of the wall, his gaze intent as he saw the flock of wraiths heading straight towards them. “That doesn’t look good,” he added as he dropped his glamour.

"Your girl is below!" The old soldier shouted before the wail of the shades grew deafening.

“Damien’s got her!” Already leaning forward on the balls of his feet, Aomaris was ready to fight. He was looking forward to it after the frustration of the past days. “And I swear I’m burning every last one of those fuckers,” the Dragon Lord vowed with a snarl as the other guards stared at him in amazement.

“Get your men outta here; those weapons won’t do shit. We’ll handle this,” he ordered Karas. Damien would protect Mika. It was the guards on the wall that Aomaris was more concerned about at this moment.

“You heard him, fall back!” Karas shouted, the command racing down the length of the wall in both directions. “Help the townsfolk!”

Karas turned back and gave Ao a nod. “Fight well, Dragon Lord.”

“Pfft, when don’t I?” Aomaris flashed a cocky smile.

He took a running leap off the edge, wings snapping open with a flare of dragon fire, to rush head-on towards the approaching flock. The flames surrounding him burned the leading edge of shadow demons into drifting cinders, the other shades veering away as he roared across the dusky sky. His sword appeared in his hand, flames licking along the length of it, ready to strike.

"Release him!" Ao heard Raestrao command beneath him. Another demon, dressed in the livery of Lilith, was caught up in another flock of them. Clones of Izroul were appearing on the burn, distracting more of the shades below.Then the world erupted in a magenta wash of power.

_Uzaeris._

In his full incubus form, wings arching over him, the Lord of Lilith appeared. Magic crackled through the air, licking along the walls and ground as he summoned a ward of protection, pushing the shades back and shielding the group below.

“Show-off,” Aomaris snorted, seeing his brother's grand entrance, no doubt to bolster allies and attract enemies. _The pretty boy definitely learned his tactics from Ezaeur but now is not the time._ Uzaeris needed to defeat Shadow quickly and the others needed to get Mika to safety while he cleaned up the rest of the wraiths.

 ** _Aomaris._** Oros caught Sam's attention. **_You are the Dragon Lord but may I?_ ** The old wyrm brought an image up in their mind. Something the demon never knew they could do.

Aomaris' grin widened. "Aw, hell yeah! Let's dance!"

Oros' roar echoed off the surrounding buildings, shaking the walls and the ground. A cheer rose from the soldiers in reply before the wraiths closed in once more.

The Dragon Lord let his sword go, dismissing it as his entire body was wreathed in flames that formed the outline of a mighty dragon colored green and gold. Bright lights streaked across the sky from every horizon, the spirits of ancient wyrms called to join in the battle. Made of flame, they circled and chased after the shades throughout the warehouses of Lilith as Aomaris plunged into the heart of the swarm above the gate.

Fists flew in an open brawl as he punched and threw the shades, the dragon fire making the incorporeal solid in his grip. They felt ice cold as his bare hands struck, only to see them ignite in a blaze of heat. Oros laughed with him as they fought in tandem, their foes burning away in wisps of smoke and cinders.

Yet somehow, the shadow demons kept coming.

*

"Tristan!" James appeared just as the adviser was pulled up into the air. His glamour fell away and he met the steward's terrified gaze, his hand catching the blond's. He could feel it shrinking in his grip, the demon's features going gaunt as the wraiths consumed Tristan's energy. "Release him!" The sharp command echoed with Raestrao's power, forcing the shades to let go and back away in a wide radius.

Tristan dropped, the Demon Lord pulling him in to catch him and keep him on his feet. The steward quickly stepped away, wide-eyed and shaking, trying to catch his breath. He bowed his head, almost falling in his haste.

Raestrao heard Mika call Uzaeris before he could, heard Damien commanding the guards to get her through the gate. A bright flash of magenta magic and a ward lit across the ground, large enough to protect them all, to Raestrao's relief. Satisfied Mika was safe, he turned back to the steward.

"My lord, I tried to keep her safe. I did as you asked," Tristan gasped, trying to get the words out. The world spun as dizziness threatened to overtake him. "Shadow is coming for her."

Raestrao's hand dropped onto the steward's shoulder, steadying him and passing along some energy, though it wasn't the same as the life energy the wraiths had stolen. "You did well. Get to safety."

"No!" Tristan's refusal was sharp and he forced himself to look up, to focus on the lord who freed him so long ago. "He's coming for you, too!"

"Of course he is," Raestrao frowned. The number of challenges to his crown were countless: the schemes, the assassination attempts, the inherent corruption. “I would not expect anything less.” His was hardly a peaceful kingdom, shaky with its new distribution of land and wealth, still too young to change the minds of so many. He had no disillusionment that others wouldn't prey on him and his new citizens, even from within. The entire system could collapse without diligence, until he could manage to get the proper infrastructure built. It was growing, but still too slowly.

Unfortunately, Tristan was also well aware of it. Too aware. They'd spoken in secret before James left Uzaeris' kingdom, after his fight with Mika. He extended the trusted spy's responsibilities to include watching over her as well as his brother. A trust Tristan kept.

"You have completed your duties," he quickly thanked the steward, his gaze softening for a moment. "Go through the gate and travel back to our castle, Tris."

"I'm not leaving you alone!" the steward refused. His hands shook, too weak to hold a blade. He could barely speak, there was little chance he could sing for long, but he would try. “I’d give my life for you.”

“You already have,” the Demon Lord met his eyes. The spy might never recover from the wraiths draining. "Go home, Tris. That is an order." Raestrao's eyes flashed. He barely refrained from commanding the demon, but managed it. Another small change in him. "I thought you dead, my friend. Do not make it true," he admitted.

Tristan startled, about to reply when a loud roar echoed overhead through the burn. His eyes shot up to see the Dragon Lord above them.

"Don't worry," Raestrao squeezed the steward's shoulder in regard. "You have done your part. My brothers and I will handle Shadow and his demons." He gave a small, proud smile before stepping past Tristan towards the edge of the ward, summoning his sword into his hand.

Tristan stared after him, mortified by Raestrao's recklessness until he noticed Uzaeris watching him. A flush rose on the spy's pallid cheeks as their eyes met. He was caught.

"Go," the Lord of Lilith spoke, the word cutting across the distance between them. Uzaeris raised a hand, summoning a teleportation ring under Tristan's feet. Afraid, the steward tried to move away but plunged through before he could escape or argue.

Raestrao turned to his brother, a brow rising in inquiry.

"He was a good accountant. Too good," Uzaeris added with a sigh. "I should have known. I returned him to your castle," he answered before his brother could ask.

Suppressing a smile, Raestrao turned back to the wraiths once more. "Shadow! Show yourself!" he challenged the assassin, his command ringing through the burn with all of his power. "If you want her, you'll have to fight us, first!"

Determined, Raestrao plunged into battle. Above, Aomaris roared again, Oros' fire blazing across the sky as he burned the wraiths from the air.

And yet, still more came.

*

Damien could hear James' thoughts with those of the steward's, while Uzaeris surveyed the situation. His brothers were right, he would protect Mika, but the guards weren't listening. Orders to retreat echoed down the tunnel.

"Unlock the gate!" Damien shouted, wishing he had Raestrao’s ability to command, when Mika suddenly clenched his hands. His turned back, seeing her surprised eyes change from her normal bright green to a deep purple. Her gaze bore into his, the feeling of magic rising as he watched.

"Damien, I..." she started to speak, scared, her thoughts in disarray, when her expression suddenly changed, becoming distant, then determined as her thoughts quieted.

"Izroul," Mika's voice lilted in the dulcet tones of her youth but echoed like a demon as she called him by name. She focused on him and her power captured him, her will rising to command him.

"What are you doing?" he gasped. "Please, don't do this."

"Absentis fratis. Debes accipere locum suum." She spoke the ancient Latin with a fluency she never should have had, needing no translation as he heard them in his mind.

 _A brother is missing. You must take his place._ Her thoughts felt different, silencing all others, the compulsion chilling Damien with its crystal clarity in his mind. He didn't understand what she meant but felt it binding him all the same.

"Tantum nunc," _Only a moment._ She gripped his hands tightly through the bars. "Conscientia, mea." _My conscience._

Damien felt an ice-cold rush of energy from her, filling and empowering him. Mika's gaze pulled him in, the world going monotone and hazy. She wavered in his vision, becoming transparent as everything around him shifted to shades of grey. He could no longer feel her holding his hands, no longer see her as she faded from view, but he could see _them_.

_Hundreds of them._

Hundreds of creatures surrounded him. Their bodies were humanoid, warped and twisted, moving with a fluid motion unlike anything he’d ever seen before. Unlidded eyes stared with blank predatory intensity, lips curled from rows of white teeth, and needle-sharp claws extended. Their long black hair flowed behind them like swirling banners as they moved past.

As he watched, it came to him. It was their silhouettes. Damien recognized the wraiths and shades his brothers were fighting.

_Creatures of nightmare._

_I'm in the shadow realm,_ he realized when a bright golden flare appeared ahead of him in the distance. The setting sun. The demons of shadow screeched and cried like animals, excited, their hands lifting to catch the light. Damien squinted, holding a hand up to shade his eyes as he rapidly blinked and saw the portal, huge and entwined with red runes. The creatures around him rushed ahead, clawing and biting each other to get to it.

A familiar shape swooped past on the other side. _Sam!_ Aggressive shrieks answered the sight, the shadow demons eager to attack his brother.

“Izroul.”

Damien's vision swam. The world of color returning to show Mika still holding his hands through the gate.

"Fight them, Izroul," she instructed, her command burying deep. "Make them yours. Show the Demon Lord where the gate to this realm is and close it with him."

"How?" he asked but she let him go, plunging him back into the darkness. The lavender-blue drained from his eyes to leave blank black orbs. His skin paled and he screamed as the cold swallowed him alive, dropping him into the shadows. Damien landed, staggering, his hands empty, his mind silent. There were no thoughts to hear in this realm.

He looked up, his hair blowing in the wind from the gate. He could sense the shadow denizens around him, could feel the barrier between this world and the Abyssal Plains. _There are thoughts beyond that gate,_ he knew. _And a girl._ The memory of her brought warmth with it. _My girl._

 ** _And my brothers with her._ ** Jealousy dug in deep, releasing a low growl in his throat.

He was cold, so cold. The sensation so much, it felt as if he were burning before it numbed. But he wasn't alone. He summoned his clones around him. No longer insubstantial to the wraiths, instead, they were now shades of him. Their eyes opened, solid black to match his own. He saw what they saw, led and they followed.

_My shadows._

"Fight!" he ordered, Mika's command ringing in his head. "Fight them. We go to the gate."

Damien summoned his true weapon of choice. The scythe gleamed, purple flames licking along the razor-sharp edge as it swung. The demons around him turned to face him, one hissing in challenge and he met it grimly head-on. Cleaving through the hideous creature, he spun to cut a circle around him, silencing the shrieks and sending others running towards or away from him. Damien swung the blade again, clearing a path as he headed towards the gate. Behind him, his clones summoned their own scythes, mirroring his actions. From the remains of the fallen demons, more clones rose. Five became ten. Ten became thirty.

His shadows, following in his wake.

*

 

Uzaeris considered the border-become-battlefield on the edge of his kingdom. Wraiths were churning through the streets, screams echoing in the descending night. _My people._ Of course Shadow would choose the time when the shades were most strong: from dusk until dawn. The sheer number bespoke well beyond another tear in the barrier between the two realms.

 _A gate._ Something the Shadow Lord never dared to do before, even during the war. _Ezaeur only allowed small bands, never more than six of the wraiths at a time._ Clearly, that agreement had ended.

Demon assassins under Shadow's guidance could learn to jump back and forth across the two realms, but the true denizens of the shadow realm, the shades and stronger wraiths, required more to pass the barrier.

 _Magic._ A sacrifice or a summoning ritual could make a temporary portal to let one or two through. Sometimes, where death had occurred, the fabric could weaken and tear between the two realms on its own. Shadow's trap at Lilith castle had taken advantage of the stewards’ deaths.

But even with a natural tear, the shades were scavengers, lurking in the dark, feeding on fear and the dead. Without a steady source of energy, they had to return to their realm quickly or would weaken with time from the light, until they perished.

 _All but Shadow._ His half-blood made him unique in the ability to live in either realm, letting him cross freely between the two. It also gave him the ability to control the shadow demons, even the strongest wraiths. Wraiths Uzaeris saw circling his ward, now.

Laughter rang above and Uzaeris saw the less intelligent shades throwing themselves at Aomaris to die, the Dragon Lord enjoying himself as he tore through them.

Raestrao on the other hand... Uzaeris was surprised to see Tristan, the steward who partnered with Shadow to kidnap Mika, talking so closely with his brother. And to see Raestrao speaking with almost affection, as if they...

 _He didn't._ Uzaeris studied his older brother for a heartbeat. _He did._

It was more than a little embarrassing to realize he'd had a spy in his midst all this time. Tristan worked for him for years. Seeing his brother dismiss the financier, Uzaeris couldn’t stop himself from showing his displeasure. He was more than happy to send the spy home, as quickly as possible.

_Speaking of which-_

"Damien, take Mika and go!" Uzaeris called back, turning around, only to find Damien gone.

"What? Where?" The gate was still barred, the guards scattered after seeing the sheer number of wraiths against them. Uzaeris paled, wondering what had happened. Damien would never purposely leave Mika.

Then he saw Mika, really saw her, as she left the gate and strode purposefully towards him. _She looks just as she did in the garden._

Her hair swirled around her, rising with the wind. Her eyes were bright purple, her magic high. Her energy washed over him, dancing over his skin, toying with his senses once more. As she moved, her clothing faded away, dismissed with a simple hand gesture as if she wore a glamour.

Uzaeris froze in shock, seeing the intricate purple stripes appear, twining around those soft curves. Violet horns spiraled up from the crown of her head. It was a blending of her and Ezaeur, reminiscent of what he'd seen in his workroom when Sam first brought her to him in the Abyssal Plains. Yet the succubus that stopped in front of him was much more than either as she regally held a hand up to silence him.

"Uzaeris, cor meum," the lilting voice of Mika's youth echoed.

 _My heart._ He knew the demonic Latin of old, knew the nuances, the depth of feeling of which she spoke. It made his chest ache and his heart pound as her power, her energy, circled them.

The same hand that silenced him rose to caress his cheek, the contact exhilarating as her magic met his. Gold, magenta, and purple sparks crackled as the ward flashed, Mika's magic at odds with his.

Raestrao's sword sliced through another wraith only to be bathed in churning colors as Uzaeris' protective magic expanded beneath him, crackling with Mika's magic. The ward shoved the shadow demons back, giving the Demon Lord a respite. A second wave, this time of energy, crashed over him. Energy Raestrao was so familiar with, he instantly craved it. Startled, he looked back, searching for Mika. His eyes widened at the succubus standing with his brother.

Above, the dragon fire around Aomaris surged, burning away the last of the wraiths surrounding him. The wave of energy hit him as well, the warmth singing through his veins as it rose in the air, filling and recharging him.

"Yes!" Ao laughed, invigorated, his body alive. "I do love that girl!" he shouted to the world. Looking down on the burn, he searched for Mika in Uzaeris' ward, only to see two demons at its center.

 _Demons? That's Mika!_ His jaw dropped at the sight of her.

 _ **So, she has returned,**_ Oros' voice echoed in his head, surprised. **_That explains it._**

"Explains what?" Aomaris snapped, focused on Mika and his brother below, feeling the pull of a succubus queen. Frustration rose along with the desire to intercede between her and Uzaeris; to fly down, take Mika, and claim her for himself. His eyes flashed gold, ready to use his speed to reach her.

Aomaris was never sure what Oros did but suddenly, he felt as if he were doused with ice-cold water. It brought him back to himself, shocked, his mind crystal clear.

 ** _We're in a battle, Aomaris. For your realm. You will know soon enough. Let us get back to the fight and protect her and the Plains as you were meant to._ ** The dragon took control of their body, roaring once more. The spirit dragons flying over the lands of Lilith echoed it as they all plunged back into the fight, chasing down the wraiths in the streets.

The sounds of the battlefield faded for Uzaeris. His brothers, his fears, all of it receded. Everything narrowed to just the two of them, to Mika as she leaned up towards him.

Her lips met his and the world re-aligned with a loud crack in his mind. Their magic blended, extending Uzaeris' senses and power. The shakiness, the hunger, the need, were suddenly answered in one bright, glorious moment. He pulled Mika into his embrace, her arms circling him as they deepened the kiss and the bond between them opened wide, her energy filling him.

"Amor, Vita, Amica mea." _My love, my life, my friend._ Uzaeris's eyes glowed from their magic as he fervently whispered the pledge. It was the vow given in ritual when two demons bound themselves to one another, linking their souls forever.

"Everything I am," Erik swore to Mika, "Is yours. Always, my Queen," he made the human vow as well.

He could feel her emotions rise with his, her embrace holding him so tightly. "My Prince," she answered, claiming him and kissing him once more.

But the moment broke when Mika pulled away, meeting his eyes. "Remember your promise," she reminded him.

"My promise?" Uzaeris didn't understand. All he knew was that he never wanted to leave her again. That finally, he felt whole.

"Keep holding my hand," she patiently explained, running hers down his arms before gently pushing him away.

"But I broke that promise!" He fought the remorse, the ache, as she tried to step back, hurriedly linking his fingers with hers. "I let go of you and it's my fault Shadow took you."

Mika shook her head and pulled her hands from his, taking another step back. Her voice echoed, that lilt singing in his mind. "When the time comes, Uzaeris, do not let go."

"How can I?" He stepped forward as she moved back. "I am yours. Now. Always," he urged, the words intense with his feelings.

"Not yet," she looked at him sadly.

He felt their bond weaken, panic rising within him. "What more is needed?!" he cried, feeling the distance looming again, the yearning and hunger returning.

"Your promise." She kept moving away.

"You have it!" he insisted. It felt like his heart was breaking. "You have me!"

The air wavered, Mika's clothed human form returning. She blinked at Erik, flushing as she saw him naked in his incubus form before her. "Erik? What happened? Where's Damien?"

"No!" Uzaeris shouted his denial. "Do not forget this. Do not forget us!" He could still feel a trace of their bond, his energy higher than ever.

"Us?" she looked at him uncertainly. Frightened in the face of his anger, she took a step back.

"Can't you feel what's between us?" Uzaeris asked, blinking back tears. All this magic and he was helpless to keep what mattered the most.

"But-"

"Don't run again." Uzaeris shifted back into his human form, hoping beyond hope it would keep her with him. "Please don't run from me. I won't let you go. We're bound, Mika. You and I." He reached out to her as she stepped back across the edge of their ward. "I am yours."

"And now, finally, you are both mine." Shadow appeared behind her, grabbing Mika around the waist and holding a dagger to her throat.

*

Mika froze in the assassin's grip, the blade resting against her neck. Her eyes met Erik's and he saw her turning her hand slowly at her side, preparing to summon an ethereal blast to free herself.

"Wait!" he shouted, throwing a hand up, signaling her to stop.

"For an obstacle, you have been amazingly effective and yet so ineffective," Shadow snarled but paused.

More importantly, Mika paused.

A pentagram was etched on Shadow's blade. The rune glowed bright red, just as Malix's had in Mika's dream. _Hellbourne magic._ There was no telling what a cut from the blade would do.

"What do you want?" Erik demanded.

A dark form loomed up behind the assassin, resolving into Raestrao as the Demon Lord pressed his summoned handgun to the back of Shadow's head.

"Let her go," Raestrao commanded.

"Of course, Demon Lord," Shadow smirked, lifting his hands from Mika. He shoved her away quickly, fulfilling the command, then his hair grabbed the human girl, yanking her to the ground as he leapt and spun.

Mika fought, only to feel the dark strands circle her wrists, binding her before she could summon her attack.

Raestrao's shot rang out too late, the assassin already moving. His brother's weapon, the bullet moved through Erik's ward, hitting the mage's bicep, tearing through the muscle to strike bone. Gripping his arm, Erik sent his own ethereal blast, missing everyone, blood pouring from between his fingers before using just enough healing to staunch it.

But the assassin kept moving, following through with his motion and driving his dagger down into Raestrao's chest. The blade sliced through the Demon Lord's shield as if it were nothing. The force of the blow made Raestrao stagger back, the dagger buried to the hilt beneath his right collarbone.

Shadow's eyes lit red, grinning fiercely as he summoned his normal blade into his other hand. "Not the way I expected but I'll take it," the assassin laughed, pulling Mika back into his arms.

Raestrao fumbled to pull the dagger out, Uzaeris shouting something when Shadow spoke a series of guttural syllables, red magic flashing from the protruding hilt. The pain was immense, shooting through Raestrao's body and dropping him to his knees as he felt the blade dig deeper into him of its own accord.

Mika's mage sight kicked in at the wave of pain from James, seeing the dagger split like a star, deep in the muscle, extending into arteries and lung tissue. Raestrao cried out in agony, both hands gripping, then letting go as the blade flashed red. She saw it drawing his energy, his magic, draining him.

"No!" Erik ran forward, mage sight letting him see the same effect as Mika, the hellblade consuming his brother's power as it grew. The black corruption surrounding it was a growing miasma that led directly to Shadow.

"How fitting to use the Demon Lord's own power to take his kingdom," the assassin looked back at Erik as Mika struggled in his grip. "Halt, Lord of Lilith! Stand and watch." Shadow's voice echoed with Raestrao's aura of command.

Pain exploded in Erik's head as he tried to fight the compulsion but his defenses couldn't hold. Raestrao had broken through his barrier completely in the human world. This close to Shadow and his brother, he couldn't defy it. His body skidded to a stop with a cry of dismay.

"Kneel, Uzaeris!" Shadow's laughter echoed as Erik dropped down into the ash. "The Lords of the realm," the assassin scoffed, "Brought to their knees." He slid his dagger up under Mika's chin, lifting her gaze away from James. "See, girl? All because you had the luck to inherit the power of a queen and these fools love you too much to just take it,” he sneered the words.

"Stop it!" Mika struggled.

Her eyes widened, as Raestrao swayed, collapsing onto his side as the blade continued to drain him, his hands no longer able to hold the hilt. Mika's fear rose, invigorating Shadow, making him bolder.

"I saw it," Shadow hissed quietly in Mika's ear, pulling her back from the two brothers, away from the safety of Erik's ward. "I saw Ezaeur in you when she should have been dead. No human would have your magic, your energy." He breathed in her fear, savoring it. "You left the workroom door open, letting me find it."

"Find what?" she managed to ask. Mika met Erik's gaze, feeling his fear with hers through their bond.

"Your journal, written in our queen's hand. Ezaeur, telling the truth of it all for that fool who calls himself my lord. The idiot probably never read it. He just doesn't have the stomach for hellbourne magic. A soul can do that to you." Shadow's chuckle was cold, sadistic.

"What do you want?" Erik managed to ask, the pain in his arm throbbing.

"What you won't take," the assassin scorned back at him. "You could have been a demon, a queen for one of them," he spoke in Mika's ear. "Or, he could have bedded you and drained the magic from you, taking the power and energy Ezaeur meant for him to have in the first place."

Shocked, Mika looked to Erik for confirmation. His fists clenched, the deep sorrow on his face telling Mika it was true. _You told him you weren’t sure if you wanted magic._

**I can take it away if you don’t want it.**

And that first night, Erik propositioned her at her door.

**We can this discuss more in the morning, my sweet. That is, unless you desire a bedfellow?**

He could have taken her magic then. But the next morning she'd asked to keep it. She asked him to teach her.

"I'm sorry, I should have told you." Erik held her gaze. "I wanted you to make the choice, once you knew what it meant, what it could be."

Mika looked back at James, his breathing growing shallow. The wound wasn't bleeding around the blade. It only made her more afraid for him.

"Save James and I'll give it to you," she told the assassin, leaning back against him in surrender.

"You're assuming I'm giving you the choice, human. I'm not that foolish." Shadow smirked at the stricken look on Uzaeris' face. "The devils gave me that blade for the Demon Lord to pay for the ritual Tristan so rudely interrupted. A ritual for you. It was a bargain I couldn’t turn down; I win both ways."

"The devils want Mika's magic for themselves," Uzaeris shook his head. "They want to take over the Plains!"

"And we will, Lord of Lilith." Shadow's thin smile widened, red hellbourne magic flaring in his eyes. "And we'll take your magic, too. Bound in love."

Mika gasped as the demon stepped back, pulling her into the Shadow Realm with him. Erik cried out as the two disappeared.

"Uzaeris, help me," Raestrao gasped where he lay, putting the last of his power into the command, releasing his brother from Shadow’s will.

Freed, Erik rushed to his side. "Lay back," the mage instructed, summoning a new ward of protection beneath them as his brother fought to maintain consciousness.

 _Mika!_ Erik sent the thought through their bond. Even in the Shadow Realm, he could still feel their connection. _Mika, James is still alive. I think we can save him but I need your help!_

*

"The wraiths are coming from somewhere!" Aomaris shouted to Oros as he flew over the slave yards.

 ** _A sound plan for invasion. The centuries of pain and fear in this place would attract and feed any number of them._ ** Oros confirmed. _**With enough numbers they could corrupt the city and spread through the port as well as the roads.**_

"Corrupt the city?" but Sam knew. There were places, dark places that wraiths did live in the Abyssal Plains. The Castle of Lilith almost became one, haunted by its past. "There's no way that's happening. There was a tear last time. This time-"

 _ **A gate,**_ Oros confirmed. **_Do you feel it?_**

"Feel what?"

**_The fear._ **

"Uh, who are you talking to?" Sam raised a brow. "I ain't afraid of shit."

**_Yes, you are._ **

"Yeah, no. Death? Been there, done that." Sam continued to fly. Seeing a pocket of shades, he dove down to burn them out.

_**What if Mika dies? Or your brothers?** _

"That's not going to happen!" Sam tore into the shadow demons, leaving nothing but a wisp of smoke and cinders

_**It will if you do not close the gate. It is a fact, Aomaris.** _

Sam paused. "Then how do I do it?" His anger was burning within him, his rage powering his strength. There was no room for fear. But Mika, Raestrao, Uzaeris, Izroul? They couldn't get hurt. Unless they were outnumbered. The thought of them drained, reduced to one of those orbs...

 _ **There.**_ Oros confirmed.

There was a shiver, a bit of a feeling in the pit of his stomach that resonated. Sam turned, heading straight for it. "Shadow's not hurting any of them," he vowed, kicking in his speed to make it to the gate as quickly as possible.

*

 _Almost there._ Damien broke ahead of his army of clones, leaving them to fight the creatures behind him. Thoughts beckoned. Fear, leaving a sweetness in his mouth that his body craved.

The gate spanned twenty feet across, fifteen feet high, red and purple runes twining along its edges. It was a doorway, an archway from the auction house into the street. He could smell the death tied into the magic, taste it on the air. Despair saturated the place. He held a hand up, feeling the power braided into the portal and the bodies it was anchored to, behind it, within the building.

A roar sounded and he looked up, seeing Aomaris approaching, spirit dragons flanking him in flight as he headed straight for the gate. He heard Sam's thoughts, his determination.

**Close the gate with the Demon Lord.**

Aomaris wasn't Raestrao. But he was determined and the dragon would help. Sam slowed and dropped to the ground, the spirits swirling around him catching the shades that tried to slip through. Damien knew his brother could help him.

"Damien!" Sam strode towards him, relieved and impressed as he saw the scythe his brother bore for a weapon. Only to see his brother's features. He paused in the middle of the street, eyes wide, thoughts changing as he feared the worst: that Damien had become one of them. "What happened to you?" he asked warily.

"Close the gate," Damien's demon voice echoed, his black eyes staring at his brother without expression.

"Holy shit," Sam looked past him at the black maw, seeing the two armies: the wraiths fighting Damien's clones beyond the threshold. The shadow demons kept trying to slip through the gate. The few who managed were snapped up in the jaws of Oros' spirit brethren.

 _ **Shadow Lord,** _ Oros acknowledged.

Aomaris' brows shot up. "Shadow Lord?"

 _Mika! Mika, I need your help!_  They were Uzaeris’ thoughts but it was the name that caught Damien's attention.

 _Erik, save him! Take whatever you need._ Her thoughts. They came from behind him, back through the gate. Other dark and twisting thoughts accompanied those of the girl he sought, speaking of terrible things.

"She needs me. I have to stop him," Damien spoke aloud, starting back through the gate.

"Who?!" Aomaris shouted after him. "How do we close this thing?!"

Damien looked back at him from where he stood in the archway. "Burn the bodies, Sam. Burn it all. Cleanse it with Dragon fire. Without the death, without the fear and pain, there's nothing for it to hold onto."

The mind reader turned away and ran into the gate, seeking the source of the thoughts, seeking Mika and Shadow in the assassin’s realm.

*

"Fire!" The alarm sounded from the top of the gate, a couple of guards still holding their posts, magical weapons in-hand to try to pick off any shades that made it to the wall.

Erik looked up, seeing the black, billowing smoke moving overhead from the Lilith side of the border. The city and its wooden warehouses were on fire. It would go up like the dry tinder it was.

"Rae, I need to pull the blade out!" Erik laid his hands on Raestrao's chest around it. Amber eyes slowly slid open to meet his, unable to focus. "Mika's going to help."

"Uzaeris, the things I have done." Raestrao tried to move, but his body wouldn't respond. His energy was so low, Erik could barely hear him speak. "-Pay for my sins."

"You prideful asshole! You’re not dying." Erik's mage sight flared and he gripped the hilt, looking down into his brother's body.

 _I see it._ Mika felt the Shadow Realm passing around her, Shadow carrying her away, and ignored it all. Using Erik's eyes coupled with her own mage sight, she saw the blade up close, saw the damage it was causing as it continued to grow and siphon James’ life away.

 _Pull it!_ She urged Erik, sending her healing power through the bond, through him, into James' body.

It was much like when they removed the bullet from Damien. Erik's power slid down the blade, magenta tendrils wrapping around the hellbourne steel, interrupting the siphoning. Mika felt the blade pulling at Erik's energy, shifting to attack him instead as he slowly started to pull.

 _We don't have a lot of time!_ he thought back to her, _It will try to drain us, too!_

Raestrao screamed beneath his hands, passing out. The blade's branches sliced through the tissue, tearing his brother apart as Erik pulled it out, ripping a gaping wound in Raestrao’s shoulder. Blood gushed to spill across the ground.

 _God, help me!_ Mika felt a different pull on her power, her magic wanting to surge forward. She let it go, let it pour through the damage, filling James' wound as Erik ripped the blade up and out of him.

With a pained grunt, Erik threw the barbed dagger away from them, rushing to press his hands to the wound. The blade sank into the ash, red sparks arcing over the twisted, ragged black steel before it was gone.

Mika's eyes blazed white in the Shadow Realm, the assassin noticing as she lit up the space around them. "No, you don't, human," Shadow growled, slamming her in the temple with the pommel of his dagger, Mika dropping unconscious in his grip.

*

They were coming to him.

Mika's thoughts beckoned Damien, the worry for his brothers sparking his anger as he ran to meet her and the assassin. She had sent him here, left him here, abandoned him to this darkness. And not a single thought was for him. That he was here. That he was doing as she said, closing the gate.

Behind him, he heard the roar of Oros and Aomaris, felt the scalding heat of dragon fire on his back as his brother set fire to the warehouse. The gate closed behind him, collapsing as the slave market burned.

James, his brother. She was worried for his brother? The one who raped her? And Uzaeris? The one who helped him? Why them? Why not me? Everything he had ever done was for her. Every thought, every night, his entire life since he met her; all he ever wanted was to be with her.

_Why can't she love me?_

She was scared, trying to help his brothers. A flash of brilliant white light, in the distance.

 _Her!_ Her magic and energy. She shone like the star she was for him. Then her thoughts and the light winked out.

"No!" Damien shouted as Shadow appeared, carrying her.

The assassin slid to a halt, taking in Damien’s appearance. "Unexpected," he drawled, the word heavy with contempt. He looked around, noting how the wraiths he'd gathered were fighting the mind reader's clones. His eyes widened as he saw a shade fall and transform. "What is this?"

"Your downfall," the lilting voice echoed as Mika lifted her head.

"You will not take me down. You're dead. You just don't know it yet." Shadow snarled, pulling Mika back into the Abyssal Plains.

*

Mika's thoughts cut off, their bond going silent as Erik rushed to help her heal the damage. Her magic leapt to him and he gasped, seeing the detail with which she healed everything: every cell, every fiber. He couldn't think, couldn't worry about what might have happened to her. Raestrao was dying and he wouldn't allow it.

Erik threw his own power and energy into the healing, fighting to close the wound, repairing the tissue. He spoke words of encouragement to his brother.

"Breathe, Rae. You'll be okay."

To his amazement, once again, wherever the white light of Mika's healing flowed, the corruption from the hellbourne blade burned away.

Finally, he saw the last of it mend, the white glow fading from the wound and his hands. Raestrao was whole once more, his brother's breathing steady. "You're all right." Exhausted, Erik sagged in relief, leaning down to hug the brother he almost lost.

"You'll be letting the Demon Lord go."

Erik quickly sat up to find a ring of guards circling his ward, a grizzled sergeant leveling an enchanted crossbow at his heart.

"Drop the ward, get up, and back away from him."

"I'm trying to help him." Erik carefully stood, spreading his hands to show he wasn't a threat.

"Drop the ward, Lord of Lilith," Karas sneered. "I trust your brother, Ao, but there ain't no way in Hell I'll ever trust the likes of you."

"There's no way in Hell I'm dropping this ward." Erik stood his ground.

"Karas, let him go!" Aomaris landed in the ash of the burn, folding his wings as he walked up to the guards. He was streaked with soot, his hair full of ash. "We've got bigger problems," he declared and they looked at each other, unsure how to proceed as the sergeant held his ground.

"Aomaris, Shadow has Mika." Erik quickly brought his brother up to speed, the Dragon Lord crossing into his ward to drop down on one knee and check Raestrao for himself.

"Damien went after them," Ao nodded, giving Raestrao's arm a squeeze in affection before standing back up. "You need to get Rae out of here."

"I can't leave her," the thought was inconceivable to Erik. "We have to find her. She's hurt, our bond-"

"First things first," Aomaris calmly rested a hand on Erik's shoulder, meeting his eyes. "We get Rae back to the castle. She'd want you to help him. Then, we follow that bond of yours back to her."

Uzaeris blinked. "How can I be sure she'll be okay?"

"Trust Izroul," Ao answered. _We can trust him,_ he insisted, keeping the knowledge of their brother's transformation to himself.

"Now, come on. Make with the circles, pretty boy." Sam ordered, bending down to pick their brother up as if Raestrao weighed nothing.

"Aomaris!" Karas stepped forward, unsure. "We can't let anything happen to the Demon Lord."

"Looks like you're a bit late for that. Didn't I give you an order, Sergeant?" Aomaris frowned at the guards.

"I-"

"Help, Karas. The portal is closed, the dragons are hunting the last of the wraiths, but Lilith is burning."

"It can't reach us here," the grizzled soldier shook his head. “This gap's too wide. This is why we burn it in the first place. We've been wanting to put that place to the torch for years." He gave a grim smile.

"There are lives on this side of the wall, too." Aomaris frowned in disapproval, startling the guards before the shame of it hit them. "Does a pile of bricks make such a difference that you'd leave innocent people to suffer? To die? Rae would be disappointed in all of you.

“I'm getting tired of this shit." Aomaris looked to Uzaeris, giving a nod, and his brother called up the teleportation ring, taking them back to the Demon Lord's castle.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit:
> 
> Natural - Imagine Dragons  
> https://youtu.be/0I647GU3Jsc
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter has been the most difficult thing I've ever had to write. So many moving parts and lines to tie together.  
> I tried to be good with the cliffhangers this time and give you guys some respite. :)


	40. I'm underneath your skin, the devil within.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shadows gather.

Shadow fled from Damien, carrying Mika between the Shadow Realm and the Abyssal Plains. Heat blasted them as he stepped through the barrier and into the roaring heart of an inferno. The slave auction house was on fire. The structure, itself, collapsed and burning around them, almost white-hot. The gate he created to let his wraiths into the Plains was nowhere to be seen. But with an incantation, the red pentagram of his spell flared back to life on the bare stone and sand around them. Its barrier rose, pushing back both heat and smoke, an eye in the firestorm.

It was all he needed, now.

Once he had Ezaeur and Uzaeris' magic, he could build another gate. With their power, he could summon a thousand more wraiths. He could crush any opposition, climb the steps to the Demon Lord's throne and claim it all for himself.

“My downfall?” he laughed at the very idea as he dragged Mika up the stairs of the auction block with him. “You say this is my downfall? Your Demon Lord is dead by now. One down, my lady. Three more brothers to go," he taunted. "Already the dynasty crumbles. Raestrao's childish ideals will fall to Hell with him and so will you."

"No!" Mika struggled, her voice carrying an odd echo that made the steward grin.

“As a succubus, the transfer of magic and power is possible without your death.” Shadow threw her down, long arms snaking from his back to snatch her wrists and ankles. He pinned her to the stone, standing over her in the center of the circle. His voice rose, guttural syllables resuming the evocation he started when Tristan first freed them. Red hellbourne energy lit Shadow’s features. "The brothers may have come to your rescue before but they will not stop me now.” He could taste the human girl's fear, feel the cold anger and immense power right behind it, trapped within her by her own ignorance.

“Come out, my Queen," he taunted. "Show yourself to me." His voice boomed with the stolen power of command drained from Raestrao. Golden light limned Shadow’s black eyes.

“I’m not your Queen.” Mika spat at him, his countenance flickering with surprise. She twisted in his grip but he held firm, cold pouring off his body. His touch burned her skin like dry ice.

“Ezaeur…” the steward growled. His eyes narrowed before he grabbed Mika’s hair and slammed her head into the stone.

The world spun.

 _You do not want to be here for this, girl,_ Diana's voice suddenly spoke in Mika’s mind, startling her as her vision swam. Her consciousness receded to a bare thread.

Trapped, Mika’s eyes shifted to deep purple, her voice lowering to the sultry tones of the succubus. Her body shifted into a demon form once more, her clothes disappearing as if nothing but a glamour. "Raestrao couldn't command me and neither will you." Ezaeur glared up at Shadow, her hair falling over one eye.

"Oh, my Queen,” Shadow’s smile turned smug as he saw Mika turn into the succubus. “There you are. Such a challenge." His eyes roamed over her body possessively. The human girl was attractive to his incubus half but he craved more and Ezaeur was so much more.

The demons of the Plains were unobtainable to the denizens of the Shadow Realm, except in the rarest of occasions. His sickly mother had been one such victim. Her demonic power of rejuvenation enabled his wraith father to enjoy the pleasures of her corporeal flesh, forcing her without killing her. As a half-shade, Shadow was spurned, though he could indulge. Now, he would and with the very best.

"You've put yourself in such a fragile body, Ezaeur." More hands reached to grope her curves as he pulled her arms and legs further apart, stretching them to the point of pain.

 _You’re Diana, aren’t you?_ Mika thought fiercely, trying to wrest control from the succubus. _Dammit, fight him!_

 _That's what he wants, fool!_ Ezaeur gave a cry with Mika as Shadow pulled harder, their joints straining. Features wavered between the succubus and the human girl, both at the corrupted demon's mercy.

“Ezaeur, Ezaeur. Finally realizing what a mistake you’ve made?” Shadow breathed the pain and fear in with relish, dismissing his own glamour to reveal his true form.

So thin, his pale skin stretched over his bones, ribs and hips jutting. His eyes were huge black orbs, allowing him to catch any light they could find in the Shadow Realm. His hair grew even longer, swirling around them, draping over Mika and tangling around her. The oily strands were cold against her skin, repulsive, slithering on their own. Where an incubus' wings would have grown, those dark arms and hands reached from a huge fissure splitting Shadow's back. More planted firmly on the ground to support him as he loomed over her.

“The Demon Lord wasn’t the real threat to your Kingdom. Not with the whore around your finger,” he admonished his queen. ”You were too powerful, but I? I will be even more,” he whispered vehemently into her face as she tried to pull her head away.

"I'm not going to command you, my queen." Shadow moved like the spider he was, the multitude of arms bending at the elbows to lower his body against hers. "I’m going to force you. And I'm going to enjoy every second you fight. Every moment, every cry, every beg, until you give your magic to me. Only then will I rip you open and consume your soul to end your misery." His teeth grew to needle points, forcing his jaws wide, saliva dripping down onto her cheek.

 _Leave us, girl. You don't want to live through this. Believe me, I know._ Ezaeur pushed for control.

 _This is my body, my life! Give it back! Get out!_ Mika fought the demon within her as much as the demon upon her.

 _You idiot! You have no idea what you’re doing!_ Ezaeur snarled in her mind.

"Get out!" Mika yelled, finally wresting control and cutting the succubus off. She drew on her magic as the succubus was forced to silence. Purple and white power poured through her, clearing her head as her body shifted back to human once more.

"Yes!" Shadow swallowed the girl’s energy, feeling her magic pour into him as she tried to cast. He leaned in, pinning Mika down against the hard stone. His claws dug deep into the flesh of her wrists, making her cry out as they punctured her skin. The pain was delicious, the blood dripping down the block and making the circle around them flare bright red as it hit the lines. "I warned you, human." He shifted and Mika could feel him against her. A trickle of gold slid through her body, just enough to physically arouse her. She sobbed, still struggling.

“Izroul! Izroul!” she desperately cried Damien’s name, fighting the helplessness that threatened to consume her.

"Your slave won’t come," Shadow crooned.

Mika tried her magic again, tried to summon a ward. Pain flared through her veins, making her drop the spell as he laughed, gold toying with her again. There was nothing to stop him from raping the magic out of her. She might not fall to his command but her body would still comply.

"I could have taken you pleasantly but this is so much better." Shadow's sadistic grin filled her view as he breathed in her fear. She panicked as she felt the pull on her life force along with her magic, her face going pale. "So delicious."

“Izroul!” Mika shrieked in terror as Shadow began to feast.

*

Izroul slammed into the barrier as it closed behind the shadow demon. He struck it, screaming in rage as the fabric disappeared to leave him trapped in the shadow realm. A red ward flared to life around him, lighting the world in a sepia haze to reveal Mika and Shadow in the Abyssal Plains. They were in the middle of the fire, the assassin pushing Mika down upon a raised stone block like an enormous altar.

“Let her go!” Damien rushed to help Mika but his hand went through her as if he were a ghost. His mind was silent, her thoughts unable to cross the realms though he could hear their words. “Let her go!” He summoned and swung his scythe, the blade passing through the assassin as well.

He was nothing but a shadow. Forced to watch from the Shadow Realm.

“Ezaeur,” the assassin growled the name and it gave him pause. Shadow struck Mika’s head against the stone and Damien raged. He heard the bitch’s voice coming from Mika’s mouth. Crying out, livid, his fists went through Shadow as if the demon were air, striking the stone.

It was no use. He had no magic, no powers other than mind reading and now that was only silence. Frantic he spun around, pacing, tearing at his hair with a sob.

His brothers would know what to do. They would know how to stop Shadow. James would fight using his determination. Erik would power his magic with his passion. Sam would beat his opponent down with his strength. Matthew would outwit him with his cleverness. All he had was loyalty. All he had was the memory of her voice in his mind. Mika was going to die, consumed by that monster, and he would be forced to watch because he could do nothing. He stood beside the block, his face level with hers, tears tracking down his cheeks as she sobbed.

“Izroul.” His name but there was no summons. Nothing. “Izroul!” She begged, his heart shattering.

_I am nothing!_

**Tantum** **Nunc. Only a moment.** Mika had told him, calling him her conscience. But this wasn’t a moment, it was a life sentence. It was Hell.

“Please!” He didn’t know if anyone could hear him. He didn’t care. He begged, pleaded, prayed. “Please let me go to her!” he spoke aloud. “I don’t belong here. I belong with her!” He yelled in the darkness. “We all do,” he admitted. He’d step away, let her go, let her be with Erik. Anything to know she’d be safe. Anything to save her. “Please…” He hung his head, dropping to his knees.

“Izroul!” Mika screamed and Damien startled, feeling the barrier shake between them. He dove at it with all his might, his eyes flashing purple. Feeling the fabric finally part for him, he leapt through, shoving Shadow away from her with all his might. The assassin refused to let go of Mika, flipping over her, still clutching her arms.

"Get off of her!" Izroul's voice echoed as he summoned his scythe once more, standing over her and swinging it at the corrupted demon. "Leave her alone," Izroul stepped forward, brandishing his blade as Shadow dropped down off the block and spun about to face him. The assassin summoned multiple daggers as Damien called his clones up around him to fight.

"Damien!" Damien could hear and feel Mika’s relief. It was as if he were whole again.

She looked up only to freeze as she saw him, as she saw the black orbs of his eyes. Her mind screamed, showing him a vision of him strangling her on Lilith’s table. His eyes were the same cold black as he choked the life from her.

“No. Mika, it’s me.” He wouldn’t believe it of himself. He’d never hurt her. Startled by her fear, his glamour dropped to reveal how gaunt he had become, his expressionless features dark in his pale face. A cold, smoky miasma swirled around him, following the pattern of the stripes that covered his skin before coalescing into large over-arching black leathery wings. A shadow demon.

“Get away from me!” Mika screamed, scrambling towards the far edge of the block. “Uzae-" she yelled to summon his brother.

"No!" Izroul's voice rang out in rage, interrupting her. "Don't you dare call him." He ground the words out, furious, and she stopped, terror making her heart beat like a bird’s.

"She can't call your brothers. This circle is just for us." Shadow smirked. His knives flashed in the light of the conflagration around them, cutting down the last of the clones. “Speaking of which, I don't believe I invited you, slave.” Steel screeched as he lunged towards Izroul, only to be blocked by his scythe.

Mika held her ears at the sound, blinking back tears as she struggled against the terror. She could feel the drain on her energy, too scared to try to use her magic within the circle. Fearing what Damien had become. Her thoughts were the wings of a dove, battering the inside of his head, frantically trying to fly away from the darkness.

"It's still me," Damien swore out loud as he drove the other demon back. He couldn't take the flood of thoughts from Mika: the rejection from his appearance and the fear, worse than what she’d felt back in the human world when he’d tried to approach her under Diana’s spell. “It’s still me!” Yelling, Damien threw himself into the fight with Shadow, scythe slicing as daggers rose to block and stab. They bit into his skin even as his own blade cut through several knives, sparks flying with the steel shards.

*

"He'll be alright," Erik insisted as Aomaris carried Raestrao to the bed in their brother’s tower room.

Tristan was there, the spy jumping up from where he sat on the edge of the bed, hurrying to their side. The blonde demon looked decades older, his wan face pale, still stubbornly trying to serve. "My lords," he kept his voice low, yet Raestrao stirred in Sam’s arms.

"What can I do?" Tristan stepped back, exclaiming in dismay as he saw the wound. It was an angry pink scar in the shape of a star marring the front Raestrao's shoulder.

"He needs rest," Erik answered.

"Keep him here," Aomaris ordered at the same time.

"All right," the steward gave a shallow nod, still looking down on the Demon Lord with concern. Raestrao's breathing was shallow, his skin deathly pale. Sweat plastered his hair to his forehead, his body radiating cold against Sam’s heat. Signs Tristan knew all too well as he touched the Demon Lord’s brow. "They didn't-"

"No. Hellbourne magic, not the wraiths," Erik quickly explained, not that it would put Tristan at ease. Still, it was better for the servant to know what he was dealing with. “He’ll recover,” Erik pulled the steward back and away so Ao could lay Raestrao on the bed.

Their brother would recover, unlike the drained steward, though Erik left that unsaid. He and Mika had put enough energy into Rae to ensure it. _We just need someone to watch over him and keep him from more harm,_  Aomaris thought as Erik launched into a whole list of instructions for the demon.

“Ao?” Raestrao spoke quietly.

Hearing him, Aomaris looked down to meet his brother’s intent gaze. “Right here,” the brute kept his voice low, turning away from the other two. He reached and gripped his brother’s hand, surprised by how weak it felt.

“Mika?” Raestrao tried to focus.

“Izroul’s got her.” At least, Aomaris hoped he did. “We’re going back, Erik and I. Rest. You’re gonna be fine.”

“I’m not fine.” Raestrao’s brows knit, exhaustion weighing him down. “I wasn’t fine to begin with. None of you are listening to me.”

“Yeah, we do that a lot.” Aomaris gave an amused snort, though the worry didn't leave his eyes.

“Promise me,” Raestrao insisted, ignoring his brother's jibe. “If anything happens, I want you to take care of them, Aomaris.” The way he said it made the brute pause.

 **Don’t let them see. Don’t ever let them see or they will stop you.** Aomaris felt the weight of the world at that moment. Uncertainty. Fear. Oros was silent. It was his decision.

"I'm not watering your plants, bro." Aomaris gave a forced chuckle. "You don’t get off that easy. You have to tend your own garden. Otherwise, I'll just end up making a salad of the whole thing." But his hand squeezed Raestrao’s firmly his bright green eyes serious as he met the fading amber. His brother gave a weak nod and slid silently back into oblivion.

"Let him sleep," Ao heard Erik insisting. He looked back up to see the incubus checking their brother once more with his mage sight, Erik relieved to confirm the hellbourne taint was purged.

"I will," Tristan insisted as Erik's eyes narrowed. The spy swallowed hard. “I'll see that he does, comfortably.” Then he hummed low under his breath. It was the same gentle song he had sung for the human girl.

Erik blinked as he felt the demon's power rising up, calming him, softly insidious. He opened his mouth to speak when a wall of pure terror hit him through his bond with Mika. Jolting, he gave a cry making Tristan and Aomaris startle. Both stared at him, caught off-guard.

"Shadow's draining her," Erik hissed to Aomaris, dropping his glamour and immediately summoning his magic. Her panic was so strong, it almost drove him mad, the sharp pull on his power blending with Mika's fear and his own dread. "I have to go." He turned away, already summoning a teleportation ward.

"I'm coming, too," Aomaris gripped his wrist, the spell pulling him along. They left Tristan standing alone beside the unconscious Demon Lord.

"Be careful," the steward bid after them before turning back to Raestrao, the Demon Lord tossing fitfully in the bed, sensing his brothers' fear. Quietly, Tristan took his lord's limp hand, humming under his breath once more, trying to ensure a restful sleep with good dreams.

He hoped the human girl would be okay.

*

Uzaeris' teleportation circle opened above the ash-choked street beyond what had been the auction house. The two brothers dropped into the burning slave district once more. The incubus shielded himself against the intense heat and soot, the Dragon Lord immune to the fire and smoke. The roar of the flames around them was deafening, buildings tumbling in the distance.

"There!" Aomaris yelled, pointing at the unnatural red glow coming from the ruins before them. He leapt into the sky, wings spreading to bring him closer to the hellish glow.

“Wait!” Uzaeris followed, only to see Aomaris strike the invisible wall of the ward. Hellbourne magic crackled painfully over his brother like lightning.

"Shit!" Ao pulled back with a grunt. His wings flapped erratically for a few seconds before he could steady himself, staying above the flames to look down into the circle.

"Be careful," Uzaeris approached more cautiously. Using his control of wind, he smothered the fire beneath him, cooling the ground and clearing the smoke. He flew up to the circle's edge, lifting one hand to check the barrier as he hovered, feeling the strength of the ward before looking through it.

"Izroul!" Uzaeris stared down at the two creatures fighting over Mika. "What did Shadow do to him?" Their brother, their youngest brother, was corrupt with shadow magic. The power churned around and through Damien with a strength Uzaeris couldn't believe.

"I don't think it was Shadow." Aomaris grimly watched from beside him. "Can you break through?"

Uzaeris studied the barrier with his mage sight, delving into the magic woven into it. He wouldn't let the hellbourne energy deter him now, though the oily feel of it made his stomach churn when he recognized it. It was the same circle from Mika's dream when Malix attacked and he had saved her. The same runes she'd scratched so heavily into the journal the night she wrote about Andrew, except for one modification.

 _I should have read it,_ he cursed himself. Instead, he’d avoided it. Mika had visions before in her dreams, even when they first met. Premonitions. _Why didn’t you read it?!_

"I can’t break it," Uzaeris shook his head, overcome with dread as he saw their magical signature woven in among the runes, his and Mika’s. "She’s linked to it.”

He cautiously put his hand against it and the magic gripped him, pulling him in. It was as though he didn’t even have a shield, magic and energy draining, draining so fast Uzaeris almost passed out before Aomaris pulled him away.

“What the fuck?! And you think I’m careless?” the brute helped him to the ground, steadying him.

“I can’t break it, Ao. It will hurt her if we try," Uzaeris frantically searched through his memory for an option, any option.

"There has to be another way," Aomaris insisted.

 ** _There is not_** , Oros spoke to them both. _**Old magic. The Shadow demon has already started the ritual to drain her. She and you, Lord of Lilith, are both tied to it until completion.**_

Ao's head whipped back to stare at his brother. "You, too? It’ll drain you, too?"

"We're bound, Aomaris,” Zae sadly agreed. “If anyone drains her, they’ll drain me, too." _And likely kill both of us._ He left it unsaid.

Uzaeris saw Mika sobbing, streaked with ash, as she backed away from the fighting shadows. _You'll be okay,_ he sent the thought through their bond, watching her eyes lift in surprise to spy them beyond the barrier.

 _Erik,_ her relief was palpable, tugging at his heart. She thought he could save her.

"Then Izroul has to kill him," Aomaris growled from beside him, his eyes flashing green as his hands clenched into fists.

*

Izroul heard Sam speak his name, looking up to see Uzaeris and Aomaris locked outside of the circle. He heard their thoughts of worry, Erik speaking with Mika through their bond. His jealousy surged again then he heard Sam.

 _That’s it, kid._ Damien blinked in surprise, warmth flowing through him with his brother’s love. _Let that anger burn. Tear him to fucking shreds._  Aomaris was cheering him on, the brute-half of Damien responding to the rage they shared. _No one messes with our family. No one,_ Sam asserted. _Kill him._ Listening, Damien focused his defiance at the demon before him, channeling his rage at the soulless shell of shadow.

"You expect me to fear you?" Shadow hissed, dragging his blades along the scythe's edge as they pushed away from each other again, knowing the sound scared the human girl. It only enraged Damien more. "Fear is my weapon, bastard, my power. Can you feel me draining her, pawn? How sweet she tastes!" The assassin spun, blades slicing. One caught Damien's forearm, dragging along the bone, blood flying to splash against the circle's walls. It soaked in, the red light intensifying, feeding the ritual even more.

Grunting at the pain, Damien stepped back, eyes flashing to summon more clones. The ward flared at the same time, a loud discordant chime ringing in the smoky air.

"I’m getting stronger,” Shadow taunted as he realized the usurper’s power was blocked. “You dare try to take my place?! You challenge me in my own realm? Attack my army? This is my victory."

Mika scrambled towards the circle's edge, dizziness threatening. She tried to focus on Erik through the bright glow of the barrier. Lifting a hand, she moved to call her magic only to see him gesturing for her to stop.

“Don’t touch it. Don’t cast!” His voice was muffled as if her ears were plugged, his fear resonating with hers.

"No!" Damien yelled from behind her. “Not him!”

Mika turned around, surprised, as Damien swung with all his might, the scythe severing half of the dark arms and one of Shadow's true hands as well. They dropped into the ash-soaked ground, disappearing in curls of black smoke. It forced the assassin to his knees as Shadow clutched the bleeding stump where his hand had been.

"I am right here. Look at me!" Damien turned to Mika, meeting her wide eyes. “Look at me!” he cried in anguish. “I am like this because of you. I have always been here for you. Always! I have watched over you but you never see me. You see Andrew, and James, and Matthew, and Sam, but not me. Not me!

“Erik-” he choked on the name, “You bond with Erik?” Damien’s voice broke, his brother hanging his head where he stood on the other side of the barrier. Uzaeris’ bangs hid his eyes but his thoughts flooded with sorrow and guilt in Damien’s head.

“Not me,” Damien spoke quietly, tired to the bones of fighting for Mika’s attention. “Never me. I may not have anything to give you but that doesn’t mean I am nothing. I’m not a shadow. I’m yours.”

“Damien?” Mika trembled as she faced him.

 _You fool! I chose Uzaeris as my Heir. Give him my magic and power through the bond,_ Ezaeur demanded, fighting for control once more while she was distracted. Damien’s features contorted with anger as he heard the succubus, too.

 _My prince,_ Mika heard herself call in her head, Erik gasping behind her, beyond the circle’s barrier.

 _Follow your heart,_ Harold Anderson, her grandfather’s memory rose up.

 _Mika?_ She could hear Erik’s shock through the bond with her.

"Don't listen to them!" Damien insisted, trying to keep an eye on the assassin as Shadow struggled to stand.

"What do I do?" Mika asked, her own voice so quiet in the maelstrom of her mind. Thoughts, memories, dreams, Erik. She felt her control slipping. So much noise, so many voices…

 _Uzaeris, if she dies her magic will course through the bond to you._ Ezaeur declared. _You’ll finally have our legacy._

 _No!_ Erik’s denial rang in Mika and his brother’s head.

"Shield, Mika. Create a shield in your mind around her," Damien shouted as he faced off with Shadow again, the assassin shifting warily. Without healing, the demon had tied his bloody wrist off with a piece of his sash. A blade still left in his other hand.

“Don’t!” Sam called out, ignorant, looking towards Erik. “He said don’t cast!”

D _o it._ Erik reached through the bond to show her. _Like this._

Mika focused and reached for her magic with him. She imagined the pattern Erik had taught her but within her, chasing the points through her mind and body, feeling the intruder and racing as Ezaeur screamed. The ward snapped shut, the voices finally silencing, her human features solidifying. Along with another surprise.

"I... I remember," she blinked, speaking softly as she looked between Erik and Sam. “I remember you.” Then her pained cry echoed as her magic was gripped by the circle.

"Princess!" Erik pushed his own energy and magic through the bond in an attempt to save her.

"Yes!" Shadow's voice rose in triumph. His eyes blazed bright white with magic, its glow infusing him. The strip of sash dropped from his wrist, his severed hand growing back as Mika's healing magic filled him.

The light blinded Damien, forcing him to stumble. Shadow took the opportunity and knocked him away with all his might. Damien's head struck the auction block with a sick thud, dropping him unconscious at its base.

Mika cried out, falling to her knees as the ritual continued to drain her power into Shadow. "Enough, human. I will be indestructible, my power undeniable!" His voice echoed, calling up Raestrao's power of command once more.

"Kneel! All of you kneel to your Abyssal Lord!" Shadow roared, backing it with her demonic magic. He grew, bright purple wings burst from atop his shoulders, massive purple horns erupting from his temples to twist and curl. Purple stripes blazed across his sickly pale skin, wrapping around his body as the magic flowed through his veins.

The sheer wave of intimidation and power had Uzaeris dropping to his hands and knees, bowing his head to the ground. Aomaris fought. He staggered on his feet as Shadow's power, what was once Mika's, gripped him. Oros roared within him as they struggled, yet even the Dragon Lord was forced to one knee.

"All of you fall today," Shadow announced. The hellbourne circle stretched wider across the ground, draining even more as it ran over Uzaeris, his cry joining Mika’s. Hellbourne power crackled over Aomaris, pure agony as the Dragon Lord bellowed.

Gym shoes stepped silently across the stone foundation of what had once been the slave house. The red lines of the ward dimmed as they passed. A sword appeared in one hand, dark summoned steel imbued with both demon and shadow magic, consuming the light around it.

"None of this is yours," Izroul spoke quietly from behind Shadow. "You are the one who belongs in the darkness, forsaken and alone. Not me."

The new Abyssal Lord swung around, surprised to see Damien standing. The mind reader was back in his human glamour, though his eyes were still solid ebony.

"Lost in the darkness," Damien continued. "You were lost in the darkness, forgotten the day you were born, when your mother threw you back to the shadows.” He circled around the Abyssal Lord, pacing slowly. Shadow stared at him, incredulous. “You gave your soul to the devils thinking fear was the answer. If those of the light could not love you, they could fear you. But it didn't work. It couldn't fill the emptiness. Your shades searched, hungering for life. Searching for the soul you lost, stealing others for you. I've seen them. I’ve heard them.“

The mind reader’s eyes narrowed. "It’s gone. You'll never find it. Never be wanted. Never be loved. Never belong. Your hate and jealousy has consumed you and made you lose the most important part of yourself. There is no helping you. There is no filling the hole where your soul was. No matter how much you take from others, nothing will ever fit."

"You expect me to listen to you?" Shadow snarled, amused.

"No. You stopped listening when you made the deal with the devil. You stopped being. I know that now, I’ve heard it all." Damien cocked his head. The thoughts, he hadn’t recognized them at first, echoing with his own. He hadn’t realized what Mika meant. But now? Now, he finally understood.

"Silence!" Shadow bellowed the command, suffusing it with power and magic.

"You can’t silence me,” Damien chuckled. “Mine is the voice you’ll always hear in the back of your mind. The words you don’t want to admit. Your guilt. Your shame. You can’t silence me. Just as I can't silence your thoughts. I know what you're thinking. I know what you're feeling. I've felt it, too. I know how you look into the light. I know how you look at the others and all you want is to have what they have, to finally be one of them. But you never will."

Mika looked up and Damien met her gaze, giving her a sad half-smile.

"You know nothing, Plains Slave!” Shadow shouted, his voice echoing. “You weren't born of shadow. I may not be one of you, but I will rule you."

"You rule no one.” Damien calmly answered, turning back to him. “Despite your cleverness, your intelligence, your skill, your powers; it was you who made yourself what you are. Just a shadow, the light comes and you disappear."

Shadow roared, his hands snatching Damien up, his mouth opening impossibly wide, wicked teeth gleaming. "I will consume you,” he hissed. “With the ability to read minds, I would truly be unstoppable."

Mika shouted in denial, Uzaeris echoing it. Aomaris fought to stand, fighting the command as he raged.

"I have been in the same place, but I will not become you," Damien insisted. His body flashed, a blink as he shifted back through the barrier between worlds. Slipping from Shadow's grip, he returned, the power finally understood. He rammed his sword up through Shadow’s chin and skull, holding the hilt with both hands as he met the demon’s disbelieving eyes. “I will never be you.” Then he tore the blade back out.

Black blood gouted from Shadow's mouth. The demon toppled backward, his body disappearing in an eruption of smoke. The hellbourne ward flashed out of existence, the fire once more howling around them as the ritual broke.

Mika felt her magic rush back into her, dizzy at the flood of it. She could see and feel Erik’s return as he carefully regained his feet beside her. He quickly summoned a ward of his own beneath all of them to drive the flames back, Sam standing behind him.

“Are you okay?” the brute asked roughly, looking between the two of them.

“I will be.” Mika rose and turned around, unsteady at first, then moving with surer steps. Steps that broke into a run. Not to Erik or to Aomaris, but to Damien.

Surprised, he watched as she approached, amazed as she threw herself into his arms. "You saved us," she hugged him tightly. “You saved me.”

“I did,” he agreed, holding her close, his heart leaping into his throat.

“I remember. I remember us, Izroul." Mika carefully dropped the shield in her mind, letting him hear her thoughts, letting him recall the memories with her. Calm once more, there were no other voices but her own.

“I’m sorry. I should have known you would never hurt me.” She flushed, ashamed of the dream that had terrorized her and almost turned her against him.

Damien reached for Mika’s cheek, lifting her chin so she could see him. “No sorries, remember? We say sorry too much.” He gave her a soft smile and she laughed, relieved by his forgiveness, reaching for him when she suddenly blanked.

 _I told you this was only a moment,_ Mika’s voice answered in both of their minds as she held his face in her hands. The cold seeped away with the ebony of Damien’s eyes, leaving the gentle purple and blue Mika knew. _You’ve done well, my conscience._

Mika gasped, blinking, but just as quickly as it happened the voice was gone, leaving her shuddering in its wake. “Am I going mad?” she whispered.

"Shhhh," Damien hushed her, holding her close. Her thoughts filled his mind. She was worried. Shadow terrified her. Everything was so confusing. But she was happy to be with him, happy to know he was all right.

Erik watched them silently, Aomaris stepping up beside him. "The fire, Zae," the brute quietly reminded him.

Turning away, the incubus summoned the winds and his power. The people of Lilith needed him and with Shadow defeated, he had the energy to do it.

*

Karas looked up, shielding the eyes of the demon child he carried, her mother and siblings fleeing with him across the burn to Emwin. Other soldiers were doing the same, helping the citizens of Lilith to safety and shelter.

Waterspouts formed over the bay, lifting sea water into the air. They poured it down the streets and over the collapsed buildings, quenching the flames. The heavy smoke swirled up into the sky spiraling out further and further, drawn away from the city until it dispersed into nothing.

Erik sagged, his head pounding, his eyes blurring as he finished the spell. Aomaris pulled his arm across his shoulders, letting him lean on him, helping his brother to stay standing. "I'm never going to get used to you wielding this much magic," the brute teased half-heartedly.

"Demons weren't meant to have it," Erik sadly admitted. "Not since Lilith. It's why she spread it to all of her children." The two moved to Damien and Mika, waiting patiently for the couple to notice them.

"Erik, I-" Mika began, looking back at Damien before hesitantly stepping away from him towards Erik.

"Not now," Uzaeris shook his head gently, giving her a weak smile as he summoned clothes for her and his own glamour returned. "Not now, Mika. We’ll talk about it later.”

"But your arm." She noticed the bullet wound was no longer bleeding but could see it still caused him pain. He felt weak through their bond, she knew he was, but he stepped back.

"It's not your wound to heal, princess. We all need to rest and you two need each other." He lifted his good arm, summoning his magic once more, calling up a teleportation ward beneath her and Damien.

"Erik!" She interrupted him, frustrated. To his surprise, she blocked his magic with a sweep of her hand, taking control of the ward from him and dismissing it. "I have been pushed, prodded, thrown, dragged, kidnapped- not once but thrice, possessed, drained. Why won't you let me speak?!" She demanded, exasperated. "I’m not going to let you shove me off so you can go walk dejectedly into the sunset and cry your sorrows out alone!"

"Wow, she really does know you," Aomaris spoke in a false whisper, earning a glare from his older brother. "Lord of the Emos," the brute teased, straight-faced.

"Shut up!" Erik flushed.

"You got a little something here,” Ao brushed his own cheek with his middle fingertip to indicate it. “I think it’s an eyeliner tear?” The brute chortled, the dragon echoing it in his head.

"Sam, shut up." Mika's look almost intimidated him. Almost. "And put some clothes on."

"Nothing you haven't seen already." Sam's cocky grin flashed before Mika waved her hand and to his surprise, his glamour appeared as well. "Whoa." he blinked, straightening his jacket. "Hey, turn Damien back into Izroul," he prodded, giving their youngest brother a sly wink.

"For God's sake, Sam." Mika shoved a hand in her hair, pulling it back out of her eyes, but she did crack a smile. "I'm trying to have a serious conversation here."

"I know," Sam answered, his demeanor suddenly serious again. "And pretty boy already said now isn't the time. Give him a break. We all have things to answer for and some involve you and some don't. Talking about it right now in the middle of this battleground isn't going to solve anything. We need clear heads. Rae's already back at our castle."

Mika paused, surprised. She thought better of arguing as Sam brought up the eldest brother. "James! Is he okay?"

"He's fine, Thanks to the two of you." Sam looked back at Erik who nodded. "So let the boy send you to safety, too."

"Erik, I'm sorry," Mika apologized. "I don't want things confused between us but you keep running away from me!"

"Because I know better, princess." He shook his hair back from his eye. "And I love you." He answered quietly, his composure starting to crack. "I won't run far this time. Sam won't let me." He gave a dry chuckle. "Damien will take care of you tonight."

It struck Mika silent. She stared at Erik, at a loss for words and Damien stepped up beside her to take her hand. She glanced up at him, noticing his silence before looking back to see Erik summon the ward once more.

"We'll talk in the morning, Mika." Erik reminded gently, "After we take you home. There's much to discuss and we should all be together to do so."

“Matthew,” Mika remembered out loud. Matthew was still in the human world, taking care of the company and handling everything for her while she was away. Keeping her real life going. Malix and the devils were still there, too.

"Yes. We'll see him tomorrow." Erik saw her guilt and triggered the ward, watching Mika and Damien plummet through.

"It's for the best," he finally spoke again, staring at the blank stone where she had stood.

"Yeah," Sam quietly agreed. "Hey, got any clove cigarettes?"

Erik couldn't help his amused snort before the laugh turned into a sob. His brother pulled him into a hug, comforting him until he could teleport them back to the castle, too.

 

*

A kick rammed into his newly-healed rib but at least Matthew was able to dodge the one aimed at his face. This time, they'd ripped his jacket off of him before ganging up on him. A combat boot came down on his hand and he jerked it back just in time, skinning his knuckles as he tried to stand. The devils circled, whooping, and sneering. He made it to his feet as another swung a long iron pipe into his back, making him arch in agony with an involuntary cry before they grappled him again.

"Come on, you know better than to try to run." Malix stalked up to him, punching him squarely in the stomach as hard as he could.

Matthew doubled over, wheezing, fighting the urge to throw up as his vision grayed. Malix struck his jaw, knocking him back and making the room spin as he felt a cold rush chilling him to the bone.

The lights dimmed, flickering around them. A few of the devils paused to look around, talking among themselves.

"Alright, who forgot to pay the fucking electric bill?" Malix taunted as the lights came back up. He grabbed Matthew by the collar and reached into the demon's pants pocket, pulling out the designer leather wallet and tossing it to one of his boys. "Here, the fuck monkey can cover it." The devil's screeching laughter echoed.

"Ain't that right moneybags Matty? You ain't gonna need this purse, either." Malix's knee came up to send the worst agony throughout the demon. Laughing, he dropped the gasping incubus on the floor.

The lights flickered again, Matthew curling into a painful ball of hurt, shivering as a chill went down his spine.

"Don't take away my toys," Eris' voice cut through the jeering as she stepped forward in Naomi's body. Skin bright red, she wore a silver mini dress and heels, a silver choker clasped around her throat. Looking at Matthew, she tossed her hair and waved a hand, the floor flaring bright red around the incubus as she locked him in a hellbourne ward.

"Oooooh, I do like the new body," Malix licked his lips as she strutted up to him. "Come here."

He pulled her up against him, one hand sliding up her thigh. He pushed the little dress up to bare her ass and show the other devils her lacy thong as he stuck his tongue out at them. One claw hooked the lace, tugging it down, Eris letting them drop on the dirty concrete.

"We have better things to do," Eris chided. She kissed Malix lightly on the lips before pushing away and walking past him towards the demon. The sharp crack of the devil slapping her ass had Eris jumping and casting a wicked look back at him.

"You’re right. This new girl is much better." The devil's shrieking laughter echoed through the warehouse. He shot the others around them a look and jerked his head towards the door. The gang took the hint, grudgingly leaving but lingering beyond the threshold.

Malix didn't hesitate, snatching Eris back to him by the hair. "Where you going, doll?" He growled, looking her up and down, hands groping.

Eris looked over her shoulder at the incubus as Matthew stirred. The pain must have finally receded enough for him to move again. "The human girl likes him," she commented to the other devil, the incubus going still as he listened.

"She still sticking around?" Malix growled. Sometimes it took a while for the souls they displaced to fully abandon their human shells. "I can get rid of her," he grinned as he reached for his belt.

"Naomi," Matthew pushed back up onto his feet, watching them warily through the barrier. He reached out to steady himself only to have his hand hit the circle, yanking it back at the burning pain.

Malix's yellow eyes flashed, his grin spreading as the devil saw Matthew's look. "Naomi ain't here for much longer, runt," Malix crowed as he shoved Eris back up against the wall. Matthew heard the sound of his zipper and the she-devil hummed, giving Malix a sly look as he lifted her up. Her thighs wrapped around his hips as the devil plunged right in.

"Oh, yeah," Malix crowed as she gave a sultry cry, the gang leader grunting with delight as he humped her. One hand caught a nipple, giving it a twist. "This little trick of yours is so tight, Matty. And she wanted you so bad!" The devil's laughter screeched in the room. "Nothing like breaking in a new girl."

Matthew turned away, disgusted. He closed his eyes, his mouth going dry as Eris laughed, letting Malix violate her, urging him on. "That isn't Naomi," Matthew rasped, not wanting to think if the human girl really was still trapped in that body. He kept his back to them, gritting his teeth, one hand clenched in a shaking fist as Eris' cries echoed. "Humans die when you take their bodies. She isn't there."

"Of course she's in here," Malix taunted, gripping Eris by the hair to pull her head back painfully. "Ain'tcha bitch? She's still here but not for much longer." He slapped Eris, the loud crack echoing.

"I can hear her screams," the masochistic she-devil laughed in his face. She wrapped her legs tighter around Malix. "The pain is so delicious."

"You like that. Pant for me, bitch.” Malix grinned, thrusting harder. “Oh yeah, so fucking hot!"

"Yes! Just like that," Eris tossed her head, "Don't st-"

The devil gave one last thrust, finishing with a loud groan before pulling out and shoving Eris away.

"What the fuck?!" She demanded, hitting the wall.

"Well, that was fun," Malix taunted, zipping back up as Eris glared at him, hardly satisfied.

“You asshole-”

“I’ll tap that next,” Malix grinned.

A commotion sounded, several gang members breaking into a fight in the next room. The devil frowned, distracted. "Oh for fuck's sake. Shut the fuck up!" He shouted, growling in frustration. He never could leave them alone for too long.

"Malix-" Eris warned and the devil looked back at her.

"What? Finish your own ass, slut. We'll have round two when I feel like it," he snarled. "Then you'll be next, Matty boy!" Malix's taunting laughter echoed as he stalked out of the room. The sliding door squealed on its tracks as he threw it closed behind him.

Eris growled in frustration, shoving away from the wall to approach the hellbourne circle and the incubus trapped within.

“Naomi isn’t there,” Matthew growled low, shaking his head.

"She is, Matthew. And she's not enjoying it. But then again, neither am I. But who gives a fuck?" Her eyes flashed as Matthew cast an angry glare back at her. "Oh, that's right. You give a fuck," she taunted.

“I don’t believe you.”

"You know," Eris gave a conspiratorial whisper as she leaned up against the circle, the power warm and exhilarating to her. "You could make it easier for the girl." Eris toyed with a lock of hair. It was a gesture the blonde often made when Matthew knew Naomi. The she-devil's yellow eyes looked him up and down, making his skin crawl.

"Matty. She calls you Matty in my head. She’s so miserable. If only someone could make her feel better.” Eris’ fingertips brushed over the circle’s barrier, over her view of Matthew.

“Mmmm." A wicked gleam came to her eye. "I've never had an incubus light me up, before."

Matthew stared in shock as the she-devil's grin widened.

"How about a deal? You enthrall us and I let her soul hang around a little longer. At least this way she'll like it and stick around for the party." Eris licked her lips, pressing them against the barrier to leave an open kiss of bright red lipstick hovering between them. "You can give her a little happiness before she goes. But you better hurry, her soul is slipping away to hell," she sang.

"Damn you," Matthew spat, glaring. For a moment, the lights flashed and his eyes turned dark, the bright blue shifting to solid black before flickering back like flames.

"You can't damn someone who already owns real estate there." Eris' amusement chilled him further, his anger running ice cold.

Matthew took a step closer, studying her face through the circle's barrier. Devils lied all the time. There was no way to tell if Naomi really was still in her body or not and if she was, there was only one way he knew to get Eris out.

Kill them both.

"You want me to light you up?" Matthew's demeanor changed as he considered her. "Oh, I can give you a real party, beautiful," he hummed, his interest growing. His mouth quirked in a sexy smile. "And with me, happy endings are guaranteed." His eyes crackled gold as he licked his lips but his enthrallment didn't touch her.

"Oh! Sorry baby, can't do it from behind this wall," he murmured, looking down at her mouth. One hand hovered an inch from the barrier wall and her breast. "Even if I want to." His eyes flicked back up to hers, bright shining blue.

Eris tilted her head, laughing. "Tempted, pretty boy? I don't think so," she teased, not believing his sudden change of heart. "You’ll have to do better than that. You're staying right there."

"Come on," Matthew beckoned her with his gaze. "I liked Naomi, too. Who wouldn't be tempted?" He moved closer, his voice going low. Seduction radiated with every move he made as he pulled off his tie, his eyes shifting to a tempting solid gold. "Besides, I’m hungry," he whispered against the barrier, right in front of her lips.

Eris' look became unsure and she bit her lip.

"Demons," Matthew intoned, "Devils," his eyebrow quirked in invitation. "Like you said, who gives a fuck? I do. And after that asshole, you need one. A good one. You've never had it till you've had me."

"Those brothers of yours would never forgive you," Eris gave an uneasy smirk, her eyes locked with his.

"Fuck 'em," Matthew laughed lightly, dismissing them with a shrug. "They haven't been around in forever. I don't give a shit what they think. Besides, if Malix is going to kill me, I want one more. I want to taste you." His eyes moved over her in a way that brought warmth throughout her body, the human's soul giving her a thrill she'd never felt before. It made his power ten times more potent compared to what an empty vessel would give her.

"You're playing with fire," the she-devil warned, liking the idea. She hadn’t had a really good fuck in forever.

"Then burn me," Matthew offered slyly. "It'll be the hottest thing you'll ever experience."

"Mmmmmm," she finally nodded and he leaned closer.

Eris thinned the barrier, not enough to let him out, but enough to feel his enthrallment. Matthew chuckled, his eyes flashing once more, pouring liquid gold through her human body. She arched, moaning at the sensations, the pleasure racing through her, tingling. Her mind blanked, filling with nothing but arousal and desire.

"Ah!" she gasped, pressing against the ward between them, rubbing against it, thirsty for more.

"I want to touch you," Matthew whispered in her ear, standing as close as he could as she moved against the barrier. "Please. Let me have you."

It felt as if he were already stroking her, kisses feathering over every inch of skin before teeth gave her a deeper thrill. It was nothing like the quick fucks Malix put her through. Eris gasped again wanting more, much more. The barrier was a nuisance between them. She wanted Matthew’s real hands on her.

"Let me in," Matthew purred, the sound sending warm shivers up the back of her neck. "It'll feel so good," he swore, his look intense with hunger for her, molten gold.

"You're mine," the she-devil moaned. Fighting for breath and concentration, Eris dismissed the hellbourne circle, dropping the barrier that separated them.

The blow was quick and efficient, Matthew knocking her out instantly. He lowered Naomi’s body soundlessly and left her sprawled on the floor. Snatching up his suit jacket, he took a running leap back at the window he'd broken earlier, using the coat to save his hands from the sharp glass. A quick heft and he was up, sliding through, and dropping down onto the sidewalk outside.

Catching his breath, he took a step, then stopped. He couldn't help but look back over his shoulder at the window.

 _Is she really still there?_ There was no way he could know. Devils were liars and Naomi had to have let Malix corrupt her, had to agree and give him permission. They couldn't force her. She had been so upset, it was something he knew she’d agree to.

“Damn it!” Whether she was there or wasn't, there was nothing he could do. He turned away and dropped back into the shadows, his footsteps echoing as he ran. She made the wrong choice, one she could never recover from.

He couldn’t help her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit:
> 
> The Devil WIthin - Digital Daggers  
> https://youtu.be/LBDHGxWcXyw


End file.
